Badmovies.org Forum

For me, it's when people talk and then all of a sudden sneeze in the middle of a sentence or even in the middle of a word. This is like the scene in Rush Hour where Chris Tucker and his cousin are talking:

CT: "You know all that other stuff but you don't know his name?"
Cuz: "Man, people tell me sh*t.... [sneezes violently]"
CT: "What's wrong with you?"
Cuz: "Man....."

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

I get a kick out of just watching people. I get a laugh out of some fat slob backhanding her knucklehead kids halfway across the store, or some pinhead walking down the sidewalk trying to text one person, talk to another on a cellphone, and chew gum simultaneously, knowing full well he can't do any of two of those tasks at the same time, tripping, walking into lightposts, etc. I get a kick out of how easily led people are. I was in Best Buy once around christmas shopping time, and some woman asked me what movies a teen-age boy would enjoy, I got her to buy I believe it was "dead-alive" and another bad movie that I can't remember right now, maybe "redneck zombies". Once I saw some hillbilly family with about 8 kids in a supermarket. These kids obviously didn't have much to do at home because the supermarket was like a playground to them. I see them line up about 6 carts in a row and a kid gets into each of them. The biggest two bush the whole "train" down the aisle, working up to a fairly decent speed, until it runs into a support column. What happened next was, well, to me, obvious, but funny nevertheless: The carts all telescoped into each other like when they're stored, and these kids got the crap smashed out of them and started SCREAMING. It was funny as heck watching all those hillbilly kids scream, the older two that were pushing the whole thing, they just plainly took off running, people came running as if it was life-or death, which one would think considering how they screamed. Good fun, , ,well ,for me anyway.

 :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:

You must come to my local malls in Pretoria, ghouck: you'll see those kinds of people there all the time.  :teddyr:

 :buggedout: Yikes ~ is Doug Bradley there nearby you?  :wink:

(mainly an internet thing) - people who say "please give me your honest feedback" on something they've done, then preceed to have some kind of psychotic breakdown if anyone dares to say something negative...

Spend a lot od time on You Tube, do you ?  :wink:

People who dress like an obnoxious teenager, then get upset because they are treated like obnoxious teenagers.

I get a laugh at middle-aged, out of shape women that dress like teenagers, then get offended when people cringe at their sight.

ahah I suppose that happens there as well, I post on a couple of music production boards where people will upload their tracks in progress, ask people to give coments etc...if they can't handle criticism they shouldn't ask for it. always makes me chuckle

I golf a lot during the summer, and golf courses tend to attract old people.  Old people who should have had their driver's license revoked years before.  Saw one old lady trying to get out of a parking spot, limited room behind.  Back into the car behind her - clunk.  Drive into the car ahead of her - clunk.  Back into the one behind her - clunk.  Last year one was trying to turn out of the lot, but cut the corner too close and got the side of her car up against the back end of a pickup.  She went back and forth, back and forth, trying to get free, but achieving just the opposite.  She had the whole side of her car wiped out by the time she finally gave up.

We used to have these neighbors across the street, their kids were hilarious.  Two lazy little butterballs, mom would make them go out and shovel the driveway.  One would pick up a small shovel full of snow, toss it to the side.  Stand and wait until the other one picked up a small shovel full of snow and tossed it to the side.  Than back to the first one.  In and hour they did about 2 minutes of work.  Watching them push the snowblower into the side of a 4 foot tall pile of snow was fun too, they'd just keep ramming it into the pile, a little spurt of snow would shoot out the top.  They'd keep at it for quite a while, not making any progress. 

My garbage man makes me laugh.  There's one of those mechanical arms that picks up the can and flips it into the truck, but if you leave something else out he has to get out of his truck and do it by hand.  Maybe it's just a cardboard box or something, but the guy is hysterical.  He gets out and walks like "Oh god, this is just so horrible.  I had to leave my comfy seat and walk, like...ten whole feet!  The agony!  I can't believe I'm forced to do this crap!"  He cracks me up every time.

Kill.

A few things always make me laugh.  One is when I listen to a call for someone who calls in for something that one of the groups I do work for, and it's something that is not supported, and cannot seem to understand that we cannot help them.  That just cracks me up every time.

Our service users at work are generally a source of amusement. We've had a guy that talks like he's from popeye, a man that will ask a question then continue to thank you for the answer for maybe 40 seconds after you have walked away, and a man that insists on telling people his name by saying "First name, John. Surname, Smith" like some military chant.

Count yourself lucky, the garbage men in my area never get out of the truck for anything.

When I was a teenager a friend of mine's neighbor was always good for a laugh. He had a couple kids 6-8 years old. We called this guy 'Kidkicker' because when he would get mad at them he would kick them. These kids were just about indestructible, and often he would fall or bash his head on something chasing them when he was mad. It was like the three stooges, but the kids ALWAYS antagonized him when my friend and I would put them up to it. Often we would do so when Kidkicker was in the garage working, we'd get the kids to pi$$ him off so we could steal his beer and such. The guy was a lame and was often between jobs. Anyways, one day he's getting ready to go to work when we tell one of the little brats to hide in the back seat of the car, and once he started driving, the kid was to count to 300 and jump up and scare the dad. We laughed when we saw him drive away and with the kid hiding. we had a good laugh.

A couple weeks later we go out there to mess with him as he's working on his car. we asked him what he was doing and he said he was fixing something on it and says "You'll never believe it, I was driving down the road and one of these damn kids jumped up and scared the $hit out of me and I went into the ditch". . .

Once he was lying under the car and my friend told one of the kids to pee on the ground where he would have to slide to get out from under it. The kid did and I remember the kid yelling while dad was kicking his @$$ "The dog did it, the dog peed there". For some reason no matter what he did to those kids they juts kept laughing, never a single sign of pain, and them laughing pi$$ed him off even more, to a point of spastic explosion that usually resulted in him hurting himself.

One time he was getting ready to start the grill, he had poured the charcoal on and went inside to get something. Both the kids peed on the charcoal, then Kidkicker came out and doused it in charcoal starter and lit it. It took forever to get going are REEKED something nasty.

Its pretty obvious from other posts on this board that I find people falling really funny.  Especially the elderly. 

You and Circus have that in common then, it seems. I personally don't think it's any more funny when the elderly fall than when others fall. It depends on the fall too - I saw a woman slip on a piece of meat and potato pie in a shopping centre (mall??) and her legs went maybe six foot in the air and she fell on her back. That was spectacular and very funny.

People I have worked with get sayings and words confused which makes me laugh.

Favourites include a girl I work with who apologised as she was driving "erotically", a woman at my last job who said of a service user that "he came running back with his hands between his legs" and a man I work with saying "he stood there with a grunt on his face", "I wouldn't trust him with a barge pole", and many more.

There are lots, but here's a few that I can think of at the moment.

Grown adults (especially when it's a man) who say "bye bye" to other grown adults when talking on the phone or in person.

People with gigantic butts.

Women who wear sweat pants with words across their butt, whether it's gigantic or not, but especially if it's gigantic.

People who wear baseball caps sideways.  I guess wearing them backwards isn't quite "dope" enough for them.  Personally, I don't like baseball caps at all.  Wearing them backwards or sideways just makes them exponentially more stupid.

Women who wear shirts with "hottie" or the equivalent written on them.  Usually the women who wear these aren't even hot, but even if they are, they are still proudly announcing to the world that they are a conceited b***h and warning any man with sense to stay far away.  I guess in a way they are doing us all a favor.

The way we commonly state the obvious without even realizing it.  For example, why do we say "o'clock" when we are telling someone the time?  Is there any other kind of time?  Ever heard of 7 o'refrigerator or 6 o'toilet?  Nope.

People who wear "snazzy" ties.  Ties are not "cool."  If you have to wear one, the best you can possibly do is to just wear a plain black one.  It just gets dorkier and dorkier the further you deviate from that. 

One time while eating at a diner, I saw this elderly man with a big old hook nose drinking a cup of coffee at a table nearby.  After each sip of coffee, it would be dripping from the end of his nose.  He acted oblivious  -didn't even bother wiping it off.  It took all the strength I had to keep from bursting out with laughter.

One of the biggest laughs I get is from people that are trying to get me to hire them. I work in a prison, and all my employees are inmates, which makes for some stuff that I laugh at, probably as a defense mechanism. One that comes to mind is that on my shop's applications, there is a section for "pre-incarceration work history" and "Institutional work history", where an applicant can list jobs they've worked OUTSIDE and INSIDE of prison. Atypical application looks like this:

1991-1992: Worked at taco bell
1992-1993: Kitchen worker at Lemon Creek Correctional Center
1993-1994: Laborer for Joe Blow construction
1994-1995: Laundery Worker at Wildwood Correctional Center
1995-1996: Carpet installer for John Blow carpets
1996-1997: Lawn worker at Highland Mountain Correctional Center
1997-1998: Fry cook at McDonalds
1999-2000: Janitor at Spring Creek Correctional Center
2000-2001: Attendant at Jim Blow's Car Wash
2001-2002: Janitor at Spring Creek Correctional Center
2002-2003: Bus Boy at Joe's Diner
2003-2004: Laundry Worker at Wildwood Correctional Center
2004-2005: Bellhop at Hotel X
2005-2006: Kitchen worker at Spring Creek Correctional Center
2006-2007: Drove Taxi Cab
2007-2008: kitchen worker at Wildwood Correctional Center

Notice that the work history shows a pattern of out of prison, in prison, out, in, out, in, etc? Think about that, and realize how hard it is for me to keep from laughing when I ask the question: "What skills do you have that would be useful here", and their answer is: "I'm a fast learner. . ."

LOL!  :bouncegiggle: