Badmovies.org Forum

Everyone is always doing a top 100 list, so I figured I get in on the fun!

Anyways, this list has been a long time coming.  Any movie that was made for kids, whether live action or animation, whether the movie came out this year or came out 30 years ago, any movie that is considered a kids or younger audience movie that you thought was bad, horrible, terrible, or similiar adjectives can go on this list.

I'll kick it off with this:

1. Home Alone 4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctYUzLUXO9M

2.) Santa With Muscles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmPgWz85Us0

Basic plot: Blake (Hulk Hogan), richest man in 10 states, somehow gets amnesia and wakes up thinking he is Santa Claus.  With Muscles.  He then proceeds to beat up Garrett Morris (of SNL and Martin fame), and saves an orphanage.

The fact your movie stars the likes of Hulk Hogan, Clint Howard, Garrett Morris (Garrett Morris?) and Ed Begley Jr. speaks levels of just how horrible this is gonna be.

3. The Neverending Story 3

(http://www.thealmightyguru.com/Reviews/NeverEndingStory/Images/NeverEndingStory3-DVD.jpg)

What's worse than The Neverending Story 2, has Jack Black, and utilizes obligatory and out of place pop music?  Yep, this straight-to-video stinker.  Oh, and they made Falcor mentally retarded.  What's up with that?  Yes, folks, this is the movie Jack Black wants you to forget, and I wouldn't mind doing so.  The trouble is I won't remember how much it sucks and probably watch it again. 

3.) Mr. Nanny- Hulk Hogan is a retired professional wrestler who gets hired by a scientist to watch his bratty little kids.  He then proceeds to have a tea-party and dress in tutu's.  Co stars include Sherman Hemsley and Buster Poindexter.

5) Mac & Me

(http://www.sofacinema.co.uk/guardian/images/products/0/27680-large.jpg)

Very, very, sappy and cheesy E.T. rip-off full of shameless plugs of fast-food brands.



*Side note: I can see this thread featuring many more Hulk Hogan films...

The DVD box reminds me of something...

(http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/rr154/Raffine/kraft_mac_cheese.jpg)

Can I fill in #6-17 with the Land Before Time sequels?  Yeah, there are TWELVE of them...  And they stink, and desecrate the name of the original film.   :hatred:

And you aren't including the original...why?   :twirl: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :twirl:

From what I remember, the first was kinda decent.

Why don't you just name one from the series that is the worst?  I should be specific one only allowing one bad kids movie per series.  Until you pick one:

6. Rock-A-Doodle (Here's the lowest point of Don Bluth's movie career and we shall never let him forget it!)

I liked Rock-A-Doodle. :bluesad:

7.) 3 Ninjas
(http://i573.photobucket.com/albums/ss180/carriejenk/3ninjas.jpg)
I gotta say, while I liked this, it's 'success' allowed for like, 3 sequels, one of which starred Loni Anderson, Hulk Hogan and Jim Varney.

That's perfectly fine.  The movie is more of aquired taste to like, which myself and many many others lack.

Oh, please don't piddle of the sacred grave of Jim Varney.  I actually cried when I heard he passed away.  Any man who can work a "barking spider" reference into his show is a Prince Among Men Who Like Fart Humor.

In other words: "It's a big heaping piece of s**t and you have no taste in good cinema if you like Rock a Doodle"? :smile:

I like Jim Varney, so don't take it as a dig so much on him.  Varney was the highlight of the film.  It's just that he kinda, you know, lowered himself to be in a movie, 3 Ninjas 4: High Noon at Mega Mountain, with costars the like of Hulk Hogan, well, sucks.

So, are we on no.8 then or what!?  :hatred:

Before Circus kills us all in our sleep.  :wink:

8) No More Baths

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517FC4MD7AL._SL500_AA280_.jpg)


It plays out like a Hallmark film, where the emphasis is on "teaching good values" and "making you all warm and fuzzy inside."  It also features an annoying child protagonist who ALWAYS talks to HIS PARENTS in an IRRITATING, over-EMPHASIZING, and PETULENT VOICE.  I wanted to shoot the little bastard by the end of the movie.

9.) The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_CGdbWRAh_KI/SFhGCTAoQbI/AAAAAAAAARw/_NpnSxA2XDY/s400/garbage.jpg)

I would consider this a children's "video nasty". It's totally retarted, unsuitable and just plain boring. I never forgot seeing this as a small children and thinking it was amazing. Wow, what an idiot. The acting is horrible, the jokes aren't funny and it's yet another film aimed at kids, which is full of shameless advertising.

THE ADVENTURES OF THE POLAR BEAR CUBS.


Worst anime film EVER.

11) K. Gordon Murray presents SANTA CLAUS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZp7GSLFLlQ

In Eastman Colorscope!

12. Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer

Andrew already covered I could possibly say about this film.

This movie could seriously damage a child, but my girlfriend and I laughed our butts off.  So very worth the $3 I paid at Walgreen's.

13.  THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ - I saw it at a Saturday matinee when I was a kid . . . and now I own the DVD.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6PUJkV9mzQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHWGjgjF068

Wow! Somebody filmed a school play! At a very, very poor school!

I've seen amateur pornos with better production values. :bouncegiggle:

It was directed by Barry Mahon, who also made a lot of nudie movies.  I believe it was filmed at Pirate's World Amusement Park.  The DVD (from Something Weird) has an equally bad JACK AND THE BEANSTALK movie on it, also directed by Barry Mahon.

14. You know what I'm going to say.
Look at my signature graphic thingie...
                  NUKIE

Oh, God, I love The Land Before Time.  Just hearing the music chokes me up, and it has a genuinely great musical score.

The sequels are garbage, of course.

15. The Cat in the Hat (2003) -- Nothing redeeming about this movie AT ALL.

Yeah, I've ordered this. 

Bring it on, Mahon!  :hatred:


 :bouncegiggle:

#16

Don't spoil it for yourself, just watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A9gukuizDU

I was willing to give it a shot, the concept being just off-kilter enough that it might be amusing. It wasn't.

Some of the blame must be laid squarely on the truly atrocious and annoying English voice-over work. However, the central concept is broken, and the "lessons" contained within are warped and remarkably morbid for a children's show.

It's available to watch instantly on Netflix, if you are so inclined.

I...I...uh...erm...wow.

I don't EVEN want to know how you came across this...this...thing.

17. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

I think they recap it best...

http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Santa_and_the_Ice_Cream_Bunny_1972.aspx

Santa Claus with a sweaty ass stain is both priceless and terrifying...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLKEGAbkpyo

18. THE LAND OF FARAWAY.  A Russian/Scandinavian production based on a novel by Astrid Lindgren (who wrote the Pippi Longstocking stories) and starring Christopher Lee, Christian Bale, Nicholas Pickard, Timothy Bottoms and Susannah York.   Dull, dull, dull.   Parts of it are pretty to look at, but the rest is just plain lame.  Lee's villain (an evil knight named 'Kato' - I kid you not!) is the only high point, and there is nowhere near enough of him to relieve the boredom.  No self-respecting child would sit through the whole thing - at any age.

Surprised no one's mentioned the Care Bears yet or even worse, the Care Bear Cousins.  :buggedout:

Fair enough on not doing ALL the Land Before Time sequels.  But yes, the original is a solid kids film.  Some great animation, good music, a good storyline, and just good stuff.  It's not fantastic, but it's better than most of the 80s Disney films at least - it's also a rarity in that it has no musical numbers.

#19: Land Before Time 2

Well, you get the first film, take away the quality animation, ruin the storyline, replace the music with mostly generic fodder, and insert AWFUL musical numbers, and this is what you get.  It's garbage.

20. Son of the Mask

Ugh, that movie was terrible.  It wasn't funny or amusing.  The plot premise was absured and it didn't have Jim Carey in it.  That was the best part of the original movie!

21. Shark Tale.

22. Titantic: The Legend Goes On (Also Known as the animated musical)

I think the three words, Titantic, animated, and musical all speak for themselves.

23.) Babes In Toyland
(http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x287/arthuro73/Babes-in-Toyland-Poster-C10134394.jpg)

24.) Flubber

(http://www.disneydvdmovies.com/images/dvds/flubber-large.jpg)

I actually kinda liked Flubber.  But who could forget . . . .


Eddie Murphy's THE NUTTY PROFESSOR!!

My kids tell me I must add:
26. ERAGON

27. Little Big Foot

(http://www.spout.com/ProductImages/t80738f1koy.jpg)

I caught a bit of this movie one morning before going to school when I was younger.  I never wanted to go to school so badly in my life. 

28. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3

What was the directing thinking?  Wait!  I got an idea.  He thought, "Need more money!  I know!  I'll make a half assed TMNT movie.  None of the kids will even be able to understand how bad it is!"

Oh man, how much did I hate that stinking tripe! They had the perfect opportunity to introduce more characters from the cartoon series (which is what all us kids wanted), then they set it in 17th century feudal Japan! It was sooo boring and the turtles looked garbage.  :thumbdown:

To this day I have still never seen the end of it.
It's a shame, I really likes the second one.

I wanted Krang to turn up and explian why he was in some dudes underwear...I always wondered that when watching the show.

I think that was the least of his concerns.  :tongueout:

29. Babies Day Out
Incredibly boring, just like Home Alone 2 but really stupid! The criminals kept letting a baby ran away from them!

30.)

(http://www.nixonthehand.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/40162045.jpg)

I approve of the vicious review the AVGN gave it.

http://www.screwattack.com/AVGN/Extras/TMNT3pt1 (http://www.screwattack.com/AVGN/Extras/TMNT3pt1)
http://www.screwattack.com/AVGN/2007/TMNT3Movie2 (http://www.screwattack.com/AVGN/2007/TMNT3Movie2)

Long, but way more entertaining than the actual film.  It's one of the "bad nostalgia" moments for me, when something I loved became utter garbage.  It's one of the first movies I can remember hating, at the age of 9.

30. SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2

My God, one of the worst films of all time.  Ranked at number 5 on IMBD's list and it has always been in bottom 10 since forever.  HORRIBLE and still there is another sequel in the works!  We must find the director and stop him!

He's dead.  Well, the director of the second one is.  That would be one Bob Clark, who somehow went from making A Christmas Story, one of the best family movies ever made, to Baby Geniuses - both of them.  He also made the original Black Christmas, a horror classic and archetype of the Slasher genre. 

I don't get it either.

31. Batman & Robin

The movie that almost ruined the entire Batman franchise.  Darn this movie to heck.

32)  Howard The Duck



.................it's bad.........

33. North

There is no reason to explain if you seen the movie.

34. THE MAGIC LAND OF MOTHER GOOSE (1967)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uLIu_TiYwg

Who better to produce and direct one of the most painful kiddie flicks than that ol' gore master himself, Herschell Gordon Lewis? Basically filmed bad theater, this looks like it was made around 1910.

Best scene has Merlin roasting the wicked witch alive - turning her into a skeleton with flames shooting out of its skeleton crotch!

(http://www.kiddiematinee.com/images/s-smgoose20.jpg)

Thanks to The Burgomaster for making me realize the well of undiscovered truly bad films not only never runs dry, it apparently goes all the way down to hell.

35. HOLES

36. American Tail 2: Fievel Goes West

Ever scene this one?  Wasn't that good, but it still succeed at ripping my heart though.

37. Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure

In today's world, this movie would be way too insane, crazy, and creepy for any little kid.

Let's see here then:
38. Air Bud (Let's just take one from the series)
39. Stupid Pet Tricks
40. Around the World in 80 Days
41. Hoot
Is this right then Flu-Bird?

42. Super Mario Bros. Movie

I mean, really.  This movie was targeted at the kids, since they would have played the video game and probably would have wanted to see it.

43. Doogal

Considered to be the worst ever animated movie made.

"There goes a_" rip-offs :hatred:

Okay, Ferngully is #44..

45. Problem Child.  I really hated this movie.  Max Cady liked it though..

(http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/41/m_30e3c64c813b964a44b0face662633f8.jpg)

46. POCAHONTAS

Most of Disney's animations are based on fiction, so creative license is permitted.  Re-writing history should NOT be permitted.  I mean, someday, the children who watched that crap are probably going to have to take a history test.

Pocahontas did NOT MARRY JOHN SMITH!!   :hatred:

Plus, I guess the whole "kidnap Pocahontas and hold her hostage for a year to get your tribe to give us what we want" was not good for a kid's movie, so why even bother touching this story if you have to change it so much?

From the first moments, I hated this "red man good, peaceful, white man bad, evil" propaganda.  Both sides had pluses and flaws, but that's not the point.

47. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders

Kid's movie my butt.  This line from Tom about Merlin sums up the movie quite well:

Tom: [As Merlin] Yes it's my mission to release evil and gradually recover it, following the deaths of many innocent people.

Yes, a great film for all ages!  People dying, cats burning up, evil demonic toys, and so much more!

That looks absolutely stupid. :question:

48.  Happy Feet.   I don't care if it won an Oscar, it's horrendous.  Preachy, full of trend-casting, and barely even had a story.


Really?  I thought that one was pretty good, at least compared to what else is on this list.  Different strokes, I guess.

Happy Feet was so stupid.

49. The New Adventures Of Pippi Longstocking (1988)

(http://images.highspeedbackbone.net/skuimages/large/COL_D05986D.JPG)

50. Star Wars: Episode 1. Kinda fails because it was too immature and shallow for adults but didn't quite appeal to a lot of kids either because of all the political bits. Also serves as a prime example of why trying to appeal to as many demographics as possible is generally a bad idea.

51. The Legend of the Titanic

It was hard to pick between this movie and its sequel because they suck so badly.  While the sequel had some of the worst plot aspects and musical numbers I have ever seen before in a movie, the original one I just had to go with.  The way the film treats the history of the Titanic is what was the most offensive and made it in reality the worst of the two films.

That movie has to be seen to be believed.  There's a whole other animated Titanic movie, I think it's called Titanic: the Legend Goes On, that's about as bad (although at least it doesn't completely ignore history)

52.  Sandlot 2
Just so asinine, a slap in the face to those of us who grew up with the first one.

Ah yes, the legend goes on.  It goes on straight into the crapper.  That movie just stinks to high heaven and man, does it leave a bad taste in your mouth after watching it.  However, like you said, it was a bit better in the history department compared to the Legend of the Titanic.

53.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51QEQXBRX5L._SL500_AA300_.jpg)

(http://www.animatoons.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/1955453_4.jpg)
Another Pixar ripoff by the Brazilian company Video Brinquedo, this one of Ratatouille.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkvAcZoZBEY
Marvel at how the customers at Ratatoing for 9 minuets talk about how great the food and the restaurant is without saying why.
"MmMmmM, the food is great would you agree?"
"Oh yes I agree-- how great it is!"
"Yes, it is really great!"

Ah, yes, Video Bronquedo, home of such totally original classics as What's Up, Little Bee, Little Cars, Panda Fighter and The Frog Prince

i don't believe this hasn't been said yet but what should be number one is now at fifty five and it is


Pocket Ninjas A movie so bad i have watched it five times and i still don't know what happens in it
it won't let me post links so go to youtube and type in pocket ninjas scene the first thing that comes up should be white dragon vs cobra khan

and... At a THEE-ate 'er near you! 

56.(?) THE 5000 FINGERS OF DR. T   

and... At a THEE-ate 'er near you! 

56.(?) THE 5000 FINGERS OF DR. T   


Disagree - I really like this movie.  But... taste and opinions and such

Dr. T is an interesting flick but makes for a pretty messed up children's movie.

Speaking of messed up:
57.  The New Adventures of Mark Twain - I still bear the psychological scars from this claymation nightmare.

Nice...  :cheers:


58. Robocop 3.

It seems to be directed towards kids and its the only reason that makes sense for being crap!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOdELisKpP4

You might be interested to know Mr. Plinkett has reviewed that film.  :)

http://www.redlettermedia.com/ (http://www.redlettermedia.com/)

Wait, from the Louis Sachar novel?  I thought that wasn't too bad.  

(shrugs)

Each is own, I guess.

As a story for kids, I don't think it was a good choice.  I have a major dislike for the book so perhaps that bias carries over.

59. POD PEOPLE. the one redeeming factor is the famous line: Trumpey, you can do MAGIC!

Wait, no mention of the ULTIMATE "It was mainly for kids, anyway" disappointment of a movie: The Phantom Menace?

(Or is that too easy?)

lol... its number 50...

60. Fury Vengeance.
the placement tells the story.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0492389/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0492389/)

I must admit, when I first saw the title "Furry Vengeance" I thought it was going to be a much different (though equally terrible) kind of movie.....

61. Cool as Ice
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101615/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101615/)
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/coolasice/ (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/coolasice/)

62. School Gyrls

it is really bad. it has justin Beiber in it, and i think soja boy is in it too.

Watch the trailer it is really bad.

I mean the asian girl's name is Mo Money

Has anyone mentioned Bratz yet?

I had to see that at the dentist it was terrible

I don't believe so.  Go for it!

63. Bratz. 

The only good thing to come from it is I believe Nostalia Chick did a funny review of it.

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thedudette/nostalgia-chick/12267-bratz (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thedudette/nostalgia-chick/12267-bratz)

Haven't seen it...but based solely upon the material this movie "should" contain....seems highly inappropriate to be marketed towards children. I had a chance to buy this once for $2.77 and left it behind...ah regret. Anyways...behold! The Last of the Mohicans Animated!!!
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/512DWBW958L._SL500_AA300_.jpg)