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My last wish is to have a very brave person take a handful of my ashes and "antique" a certain Zimbabwean politician in the face with them.

He will be picking me out of his nose, hair, teeth and eyes for the rest of his life.  :teddyr:

Would this politician's name begin with the letter "R" ?

Don't forget to have them stick your dirty underpants on his head!

Yup, in the unlikely event I ever actually do that whole dying thing, a certain friend of mine gets my diary, and he knows why...

You have undying love for him, but you don't have the guts to tell him... :wink:

Or.

You've kidnapped his family and he's not getting them back until you croak. Their location is hidden in your diary.

I know it's all the rave these days, but I'm just not doing that dying thing that seems to be so popular (almost everyone has done it once). Well I'm not going to, no matter how much peer pressure there is. I just say NO. . .

I want sixteen crapshooters for my pallbearers and a fifth of Chivas in my hearse.

I want my eyes held open when I draw my last breath and a bagpiper to play "Amazing Grace" at my funeral. Also my wife has agreed to not let anyone put me in a suit when they bury me because I hate wearing them.

Yes it would indeed. His middle name is that of an angel, believe it or not.  :buggedout:

I want my dead rotting corpse to be encased in a stone statue, carved in my image. The statue would play loud music and shoot green lasers from its eyes that would anihilate any passing children. I've told my family that if they have any form of religious service, I will come back and haunt their asses off!

To be buried in my Dracula cape. Oh-wait a minute....I already did that. Ok....to have my mouth stuffed with garlic,my head chopped off,and a stake in my heart...cuz I sure don't want to comeback in Michigan....drinking the blood of meth addicts and fat white trash hillbilly women. Yuk.

Just run my carcass through the incinerator and don't make a damned fuss about it.  No line of slow moving cars driving through town, no boring church service, no uncomfortable buffet meal afterwards. 

Is it possible to have a wake at a bar?  I'd much rather have my funeral expenses involve buying beer for everyone instead of buying a fancy box and paying someone I never met to eulogize me.  And don't stick my embalmed corpse out for everyone to look at.  That's just plain creepy.

Bananarama to be played and everyone must have big 80' s hair like this guy:

(http://www.tellytunes.com/djphotocards/capitalfm/capitalfm_ps.jpg)

I want to be placed in a spring-loaded casket for the wake.  To be triggered when the youngest person present walks up to pay their respects.

I think I would make a lovely taxidermy piece. 

For years, my Dad insisted that everyone not sit there and cry over him when he finally left us ~ we had about five minutes memorial service for him and then the rest of the day, a party. The memorial part of the day stopped abruptly when my aunt took her glasses off, wiped her eyes and said: "Enough of this crying sh*t, let's have a drink on Tommy."

The result of that was we all looked at each other and burst out laughing, because we knew then that Dad was with us, as he would have been the first one to say that.  :smile: :teddyr:

 :bouncegiggle: :smile: :teddyr:

I'm normally down in the dumps on a Monday but that made me laugh.

I had a last wish for the dispersal of my remains, but nobody tests nukes above ground anymore.