Badmovies.org Forum

Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Doggett on June 14, 2009, 01:56:40 PM



Title: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 14, 2009, 01:56:40 PM
It's a fun game where you ask a film question and the next person has to give a stpid answer then he/she gets to ask a question. And so on and so forth...

eg. Q: Why does Robocop where blue and black ?

     A: He thought all the other colours made him look too gay.

Then the person who answered asks a question, got it ?
Good.
I'll start.


Why was the Triceratops sick in Jurassic Park ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 14, 2009, 02:01:00 PM
He realized he would have made more money doing one of the Land Before Time sequels.


Does Batman wear a cup?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 14, 2009, 02:03:55 PM
Yes, and it's too tight. That's why he has such a stupid voice in TDK.



Why did Peter Parker feel the need to dance in Spider man 3


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: the ghoul on June 14, 2009, 04:38:57 PM
He had to pee really bad.

Why did Hannibal Lechter get diarrhea?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 14, 2009, 04:58:19 PM
Because Dr. Chilton didn't agree with him.

What was the real reason Clint Eastwood was so angry in GRAN TORINO?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 14, 2009, 05:01:04 PM
His poncho had been ruined by the dry cleaners.

Are Wookees supposed to get fleas?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Nukie 2 on June 14, 2009, 05:43:52 PM
Only if they don't wear flea collars.

Why did Frankenstein have fins on his car in Deathrace 2000?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 14, 2009, 06:41:39 PM
Fins get chicks, man.

What is the deal with The Hulk ripping out of everything but the funny purple pants?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 14, 2009, 07:01:53 PM
Their molecular structure reacts to the after effects of gamma radiation differently from the rest of his clothes.

Can Metalunan Mutants understand the basic concepts of algebra?





Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kester Pelagius on June 14, 2009, 07:10:34 PM
Only on Saturdays between 2 and 4 PM when the sun is shining.

What's the deal with Dean Stockwell constantly pressing the side of his palm against the side of his head in DUNWICH HORROR?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 14, 2009, 07:18:49 PM
He wanted to 'Quantum Leap' off the set after viewing the first batch of 'Rushes'.

Do ninjas have higher insurance premiums than the rest of the population?





Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 14, 2009, 07:29:44 PM
Actually, they are lower because they can never be found to receive payment on their claims.

How did Superman react to having to wear tights?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 14, 2009, 07:35:05 PM
Surprisingly well, it appealed to his more theatrical tendencies.

Are there any official background checks on those seeking to purchase large quantities of piranha fish?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 14, 2009, 08:54:44 PM
Yes, but they only check the International Mad Science Registry, and the only name in the database is Lex Luthor.

How did BARBARELLA get a PG rating?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doc Daneeka on June 14, 2009, 09:12:31 PM
Because parents need their non-sexually/socially mature children to guide them innocently through such a film

Is it safe?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 14, 2009, 09:53:55 PM
Only if you inhale an insane amount of nitrous oxide.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 14, 2009, 10:30:26 PM
Dick Cheney

Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on June 15, 2009, 03:32:49 AM
Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?

Curtis Harrington done it.  :wink:

Y iz da knew Quentin Tarantino filum's tittle spelt inkurrectlee?   :question:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 05:17:33 AM
It's not spelt incorrectly, it's just spelt ina a slightly cooler way



What was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on June 15, 2009, 05:37:25 AM
It's not spelt incorrectly, it's just spelt ina a slightly cooler way
What was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction ?

My underpants, when they were new.  :wink:

What was in the case in Ronin?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 05:40:15 AM
Your underpants...when they were used...



Why did Gennaro think a toilet was a good hiding place in Jurassic Park ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 15, 2009, 06:23:23 AM
Because historically, only .00000000001% of T-Rex related deaths have occurred in bathrooms.

Why aren't there any boobies in some movies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 15, 2009, 07:16:56 AM
Because Russ Meyer needed a break from time to time.

Why did E.T.'s finger glow?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 09:36:40 AM
He was an alien, so that wasn't necessarily his finger...


Where did those aliens fly off to at the end of Battries Not Included* ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 15, 2009, 10:07:56 AM
Spaghetti Junction.

Did the entrepreneurs of Amity release 'Bite Me Quick' hats to cash in on the hysteria caused by all those shark attacks?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Joe on June 15, 2009, 10:16:51 AM
it was actually a scheme cooked up by WaWa for Hoagie Fest.


Why does predator only fight fair when he thinks hes evenly matched?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kester Pelagius on June 15, 2009, 11:44:15 AM
Because he knows that pregnant women's raging hormones would kick his arse?

In THE THING, when the radio was destroyed, why didn't the base crew use a satellite phone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 15, 2009, 11:53:17 AM
Because they were not in the mood for motion sickness dialing in orbit.

Why is no one dirty in Dirty Dancing?




Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 12:40:39 PM
What are you talking about ? Patrick Swayze is filthy !!!


Why was Robocop flying in Robocop 3 ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 15, 2009, 12:59:13 PM
Robocop enjoys his coffee and donuts much like most cops.  In this case, they provide gas to fly.

Why do Ghoulies hang out in toliets?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 01:14:20 PM
It was either that or hang out with Chevy Chase.



What happened to Chevy Chase ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 15, 2009, 01:29:49 PM
He changed his name to 'Buick'.

Is it possible to see the fossilized bones of a Slurpasaurus (aka Iguanius Maximus Fakius) in any museums?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 01:33:25 PM
Yes, but only in Dutch ones.


Why hasn't Elvira made a third movie ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 15, 2009, 01:34:17 PM
Because she's lacking a third boob.

Why did Balboa scream Adrian after the fight in Rocky?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 01:37:03 PM
She bet against him and he was really ticked off !

How many spiders are there in the film Spiders.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 15, 2009, 01:50:00 PM
One?

Ralph Fiennes...    Spiders
Miranda Richardson ...    Yvonne / Mrs. Cleg
Gabriel Byrne...    Bill Cleg
Lynn Redgrave...    Mrs. Wilkinson

Why is Michael Myers wearing a mask?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 01:52:56 PM
He isn't  :wink:



In Back To The Future what makes time travel possible ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 15, 2009, 02:12:19 PM
Wormholes combined with the awesome power of rock and roll.

Does Santo keep reindeer?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 15, 2009, 03:03:28 PM
Only for the venison.


Why did Frankenstein Meet the Wolf Man?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 15, 2009, 04:11:19 PM
Because Frankenstein needed a toupe for his date with The Bride.

Why don't humans combust spontaneous anymore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on June 15, 2009, 04:29:01 PM
They do! In fact,I combusted sponataneously just last night!  :tongueout:

Why is Dr.Phibes abomonible?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 15, 2009, 05:18:26 PM
Cause he's always grinning at inappropriate times.

Where were you The Night Evelyn Came Out Of The Grave?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 15, 2009, 05:23:57 PM
I was busy being tied up in a wardrobe masturbating.*



In the Ring why is VHS being used and not DVD ?




*TOO SOON ?  :wink:







Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 15, 2009, 09:01:54 PM
Because the Japanese don't know about DVD yet.  (Shh! don't let them find out!)

Why hasn't anyone ever come up with an idea for a movie where the hero is actually dying and the whole movie is just his deathbed dream?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sister Grace on June 15, 2009, 09:18:29 PM
Because Oscar Wilde wasn't in the filmaking business....

Is Tara Reid actually a badly made robot?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 15, 2009, 09:37:34 PM
Nope, She is six ducks in a poorly constucted human suit.

Who would win in a fight: A winged hussar or a hungry/angry smilodon

(I'm making you learn with my question)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 16, 2009, 04:29:20 AM
Chuck Norris  :wink:

Why can't Paris Hilton find the right guy to marry?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 16, 2009, 04:53:44 AM
Because Bluebeard is a fictional character.

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 16, 2009, 05:01:46 AM
Whoever Slew Auntie Roo.

Why do fools fall in love?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 16, 2009, 05:16:25 AM
Ask Tom Cruise.


In Cannonball Run, where exactly did Victor find the doctor?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 16, 2009, 07:28:16 AM
In the TARDIS


Does bustin make you feel good ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 16, 2009, 07:49:04 AM
It makes me feel good like a cigarette should.

Are you ready to rock & roll?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 16, 2009, 09:41:26 AM
I was born ready to rock & roll.

What caused Regan to levitate over her bed in The Exorcist?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 16, 2009, 10:44:49 AM
Because Satan loves his bean burritos.

Where do the socks I loose in the dryer go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 16, 2009, 12:28:23 PM
To a time before there were socks, bringing them into existence.

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Nukie 2 on June 16, 2009, 02:24:19 PM
Disembowel myself, and jump rope with my intestines!

Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop, who put the ram in the rama-la-ma-ding-dang? 


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 16, 2009, 04:08:47 PM
The p***ycat Dolls



What is Slimer made of ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on June 16, 2009, 04:15:50 PM
Liposuction leftovers.

Why is Traci Lords no longer doing porn?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 16, 2009, 04:54:26 PM
Because of incurable peritonsillar abscess.

When will Joaquin Phoenix release his rap album?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: indianasmith on June 16, 2009, 06:58:04 PM
When the press begins criticizing Obama!


What do you call a French book of etiquette?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on June 16, 2009, 07:04:09 PM
'f**k You!"

Why does Tor obey Bela?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 16, 2009, 07:07:07 PM
Because Bela always gets the chicks.

How many roads must a man walk down?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 16, 2009, 07:22:27 PM
As many as it takes to break in his new shoes.

Do mad scientist have a trade union that they can join?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 16, 2009, 08:13:26 PM
Yes, the Triumphant Evil Scientist Labowners Association (T.E.S.L.A.).

How do I love thee?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 16, 2009, 08:32:58 PM
You don't.  Sniff..nobody loves me...sniff.

Is it time to enact plan #4165 Code name: Aardvark ninja?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 16, 2009, 09:11:40 PM
We did that last week. Didn't you get the memo?

If a train leaves San Diego heading east at 60mph, and a rocket leaves Cape Canaveral heading up at roughly the speed of sound, and an old man shuffles half a buttcheek to the left on a park bench to make room for Mickey Dolenz, how many olives can you fit in a five-gallon gas can if you first fill it halfway with sour cream?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 16, 2009, 09:23:20 PM
Taking into account the drag coefficient of the tracks, the high humidity levels at Cape Canaveral, and the heat caused by the friction of the old man's pants (they were corduroys), I'd have to say you could fit zero olives in the gas can because I ate them all. Mwahahaha.

Are you talkin' to me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 16, 2009, 09:39:02 PM
No, there's somebody else here, so I'm not necessarily talking to you.

Should a gentleman offer a lady a Tiparillo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 16, 2009, 10:00:49 PM
Only if she is smokin'.



Who's pig is that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Allhallowsday on June 16, 2009, 11:44:47 PM
That's no pig, that's my date. 

Why oh why do we have to die?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 17, 2009, 01:11:04 AM
So we can join the spirits in the sky.

Is it unhealthy to drink hot iced tea?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 17, 2009, 06:29:53 AM
Pretty much everything is unhealthy these days.

What is the meaning of life?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on June 17, 2009, 06:36:41 AM
What is the meaning of life?

Comfortable shoes and clean underpants.  :wink:

What is Clint Eastwood's newest film Invictus about? Not about rugby, surely?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 17, 2009, 06:38:12 AM
It's a biopic of Invictus Q. Smedley, inventer of the pop-up relish dispenser.

When will the madness end?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 17, 2009, 07:53:16 AM
When Chuck Norris says it ends.

Why does Linneau Quiqley always appear nude in her movies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 17, 2009, 08:14:50 AM
Because she always shows up late to Wardrobe, so they give her the "special" costumes.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 17, 2009, 09:40:08 AM
A Woodchuck Would Chuck As Much Wood As A Wood Chuck Could, If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood.

How did Indiana Jones became a master of the whip?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Saucerman on June 17, 2009, 10:32:20 AM
There was a typo in the original script.  In the original concept, he was armed with a can of whipped cream.

Why do they call the noise humpback whales make "singing?"


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 17, 2009, 11:12:54 AM
Because they still have more talent than all the American Idol winners combined.

Why do I like potato chips so much?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 17, 2009, 11:31:05 AM
Because your throat is wide enough to swallow them whole?  :wink:

Why did Madonna adopt another child?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 17, 2009, 12:01:50 PM
Because it was the only way to get the matching set.

How often does Wednesday come around?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 17, 2009, 12:04:40 PM
Whenever Uncle Fester buys her a new doll.




Who is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 17, 2009, 05:01:01 PM
He obviously knows you; that's why!

Why didn't Toni Basil stick with movies instead of inflicting "Oh, Mickey" on the world?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 17, 2009, 05:36:42 PM
Because she was under orders from Kim Jong-il to wreak maximum demoralization on the American people.

How does Javakoala always know just when I'm about to post so he can post a reply 5 seconds before I do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 17, 2009, 07:35:47 PM
He's inside your house! :buggedout:


Whooooo are you? Who who who who?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 17, 2009, 08:07:07 PM
What? Are you a frickin' owl?  Your feet don't fit on no limb!

What do you get if you cross Tom Cruise with Will Ferrell?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 17, 2009, 09:52:17 PM
Sorry; gay marriage is still illegal in California.

How can you tell that your invisible ink pen has run out of ink?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 18, 2009, 12:06:03 AM
You stop getting messages back from your pretend friends.

What happens when you put Roseanne Barr in the lead role of the reboot of "Mame"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on June 18, 2009, 06:40:13 AM
They will no doubt get David MAMEt to write the script.  :wink:

Why did it take the Queen so long to knight Christopher Lee? (thanks, Fausto)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 18, 2009, 06:51:54 AM
Because she wanted a morning ceremony, and he only walks the night.

Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Nukie 2 on June 18, 2009, 04:13:13 PM
Only if I had a Doctorate in Soft Drinks.

Is Howard the Ducks "Little Quackie" really egg-shaped?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 18, 2009, 04:28:08 PM
Yes, and it's comes with a little surprise inside.

Why did Obama kill a fly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 18, 2009, 04:46:28 PM
Because it advocated for a single payer health care system.


Does this milk smell funny?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 18, 2009, 04:56:45 PM
No,  but you do.

How do you get grass stains out of Trevor's underpants?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 18, 2009, 05:11:59 PM
First step, try not to think about how they got there in the first place.



Scooby Doo! Where are you?!?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on June 18, 2009, 05:16:09 PM
Rover 'ere!

Why does Blacula scream,scream?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 18, 2009, 07:35:22 PM
'Cuz the Man won't pay attention to a vampire if he only screams one time.

Whatever happened to baby Jane?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 18, 2009, 08:21:31 PM
She is currently named "Amy Weinhouse". 

Who threw those pies?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 18, 2009, 08:32:45 PM
Considering the clowns on this board...either Circus Circus or Pennywise.


Track of the Moon Beast lizard man vs The creature from Bat people...who wins the drinking contest?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 18, 2009, 08:33:57 PM
I would say Ann Landers but only after you dig her up.

How do I get a blue harvest?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 18, 2009, 08:35:54 PM
Use Kool Aid, it will save you time, droid costs and sand people issues.

Who sang that song I'm trying to remember?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 18, 2009, 08:36:51 PM
Ray Parker Jr.


What's the Iron Giant made of ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 18, 2009, 08:38:35 PM
Scrap metal from Spam cans.

Why does Doggett like Elvira so much?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 18, 2009, 08:44:46 PM
Same two big reasons most of us do.


Anyone else excited that the Green Lantern movie is finally getting made?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 18, 2009, 09:35:46 PM
I Am Curious...Yellow

Why aren't there more actors like Gary Busey?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 19, 2009, 12:43:48 AM
Because most actors weren't hit with the ugly stick.

What does Sci-Fi stand for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on June 19, 2009, 01:59:39 AM
How do you get grass stains out of Trevor's underpants?

 :teddyr:

That's not a stupid question, that is a major life struggle and issue for me.  :bouncegiggle:

Anyway, I don't have an answer for you.  :question:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 19, 2009, 05:47:29 AM
Quote
What does Sci-Fi stand for?
Its one level lower than Hi-Fi in stereo systems.

Why did the chicken cross the road?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 19, 2009, 06:41:18 AM
The light was green.


How many squirrels can you fit in your pants?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 19, 2009, 06:46:32 AM
Never tired it with squirrels, but my record with ferrets is three.

What day is it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 19, 2009, 08:29:31 AM
Groundhog day...well, it was yesterday...and the day before that...



What's Bill Murray doing these days ?




Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 19, 2009, 08:31:51 AM
Ghostbustin'

Should I stay or should I go now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 19, 2009, 09:01:06 AM
It's a toughie.
If you go there will be trouble but if you stay it will be double...Your call, mate.



Why is Jeff Goldblum pretty much the same in every film ?




Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 19, 2009, 09:12:59 AM
Goldblum clones. Hundreds of 'em. Thousands of 'em.



How do you solve a problem like Maria?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 19, 2009, 09:17:49 AM
With Malaria.

Is the movie Sin City based on a comic book?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 19, 2009, 09:19:34 AM
No, it's based on Amsterdam


When will these comic book movies stop ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 19, 2009, 01:00:41 PM
When they've made (and remade) a movie based on every single comic book that has ever existed.  Then they'll start on the re-boots.

Why is there never enough cheese in Macaroni and Cheese?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jim H on June 19, 2009, 01:07:35 PM
When they've made (and remade) a movie based on every single comic book that has ever existed.  Then they'll start on the re-boots.

Why is there never enough cheese in Macaroni and Cheese?

I ate most of it. 

Why does the banner ad girl on the right show so much cleavage?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 19, 2009, 04:58:21 PM
Because it's her butt, not her boobs.

Does Richard Simmons eat fair food?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 19, 2009, 06:51:20 PM
I saw him swallowing a carny just the other day.


What do you do with a drunken sailor?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 19, 2009, 08:41:05 PM
I saw him swallowing a carny just the other day.


What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Throw him in a tank with the rest of the seamen.

How often should you give a sucker an even break?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 19, 2009, 08:55:06 PM
Just enough to negate the odd breaks. 

Why do people pick their nose?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 19, 2009, 09:02:21 PM
Because most people won't let you pick theirs.

What do I do about "ring around the collar"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 19, 2009, 09:15:19 PM
You need to stop wearing your shirts where your pants are supposed to go.

Who can it be knocking at my door?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 19, 2009, 09:41:39 PM
Opportunity. But it's gone now. Sorry you missed it.

Why do girls just wanna have fun?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 20, 2009, 01:49:50 AM
Because Cyndi Lauper said so.

Is it true that you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 20, 2009, 06:37:50 AM
So, you need a live herring? I was using pickled. No wonder it didn't work.


Why did you resign?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 20, 2009, 06:44:51 AM
Once I started regifting, resigning just came naturally.

Why do so many people own boats that they never use?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 20, 2009, 06:56:27 AM
Make him splice the mainbrace.

Do hippies dance the tango?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 20, 2009, 07:01:41 AM
No, they dance the Pepsi


Where is My Cousin Vinny ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 20, 2009, 07:14:46 AM
He's hanging out with your Uncle Buck

Does Spiderman's costume ever give him heat rashes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 20, 2009, 07:46:53 AM
What costume (http://www.toptenz.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/spiderman-nude.jpg)? (NSFW, lunch, sanity, or anything else. Please DO NOT click the linked image. You have been warned)

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 20, 2009, 07:53:29 AM
Yes, but what it loses in flavour in gains in sex appeal.





Should Ghostbusters III be made ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 20, 2009, 07:57:52 AM
Only if Sigourney Weaver shaves her head for the part.

Why can't white men jump?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 20, 2009, 11:24:20 AM
Because of the loafers we wear

Will David Hasslehoff ever be considered a serious actor?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 20, 2009, 01:25:00 PM
What costume ([url]http://www.toptenz.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/spiderman-nude.jpg[/url])? (NSFW, lunch, sanity, or anything else. Please DO NOT click the linked image. You have been warned)


I think that just gave me arachnophobia.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 20, 2009, 01:33:14 PM

Will David Hasslehoff ever be considered a serious actor?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<snort, cough> Ah-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...I'm sorry, yes, of course he will.  <snicker>

How long can this go on?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 20, 2009, 02:38:18 PM
It'll go on as long as The Lord Of The Rings Extened Trilogy


What wouldn't you say to Ron Perlman's face ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 20, 2009, 05:50:27 PM
You're nothing but a big ol' p***y cat.

Which is better: Peter Griffin or a bowl of refried beans?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 20, 2009, 08:40:25 PM
No opinion; both give me gas.

If you had a daughter, would you name her Foxy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 20, 2009, 08:54:44 PM
Only if she came out and proceeded to dance on the nearest pole.  Then I'd assume it was fate.

Why do zombies move so slow?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 20, 2009, 10:04:58 PM
They're paid by the hour.


What book would you take to a desert island?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 21, 2009, 01:20:52 AM
A book recommending books to take on a desert island.

Who came up with the term MILF?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 21, 2009, 07:53:20 AM
Newt...she has a very high opinion of herself...just kidding  :wink:



Is George Lucas going to stop milking the Star Wars franchise for all it's worth ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 21, 2009, 07:56:35 AM
Right now, his people are investigating ways he can continue to mess with it from beyond the grave.


What's the biggest dog you ever saw?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 21, 2009, 07:57:36 AM
Paris Hilton



Why doesn't David Cronenberg make freaky sci-fi films anymore ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on June 21, 2009, 07:59:54 AM
Cuz a TV set ate him.

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 21, 2009, 10:20:18 AM
Grew up to surly teenager Jane, then dropped out of high school Jane, after that she was married the guy who got her knocked up Jane, Next was, the B@#$%&d left his wife and kid and very little money Jane. then too a long hard look at her life Jane, Went to Night school and got her GED and degree in accounting Jane, Now she's living comfortably with a friend she meet in night school, and everything is looking for the better Jane.

What's that thing behind you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 21, 2009, 11:30:47 AM
Its the money I could be saving by switching to Geico.

Who are we celebrating on Father's Day?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 21, 2009, 12:59:30 PM
There are questions that God does not want answered, and that's all I can say on this matter.

How much is that doggie in the window?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 21, 2009, 01:01:24 PM
I'm free with every Happy Meal




What's Scientology about ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 21, 2009, 02:14:40 PM
Two bits.

Birds fly over the rainbow; why, oh why, can't I?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 21, 2009, 02:21:54 PM
Take as many prescription drugs as Judy Garland did and you can fly wherever you want.

Has Malcolm McDowell ever starred in a direct-to-video horror movie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 21, 2009, 02:49:12 PM
No, but he starred in saucy home videos filmed by his wife.

Are Pamela Andersons breasts for real?





Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 21, 2009, 04:13:35 PM
They're real. But you have to believe...


Will Ghostbusters III be the new Indy IV ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 21, 2009, 05:31:23 PM
Only if Shia LaBoeuf fills in for Rick Moranis.


What the hell is a Higgs Boson?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 21, 2009, 08:27:33 PM
Something I had to google before answering your question.

What's in a Big Mac?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 21, 2009, 09:35:42 PM
Teenager spit.

How many Cocker Spaniels would it take to make one Irish Wolfhound?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 22, 2009, 06:24:38 AM
Three, two to hold down the female and one to...well...you know...

Where have all the cowboys gone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 22, 2009, 06:35:31 AM
They're called cowpeople now.

Where do babies come from?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 22, 2009, 07:17:02 AM
Babylon

What's the secret of the gold box?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 22, 2009, 07:23:25 AM
Brasso.

How did Peter Piper grow peppers that were already pickled in order to pick a peck of them?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 22, 2009, 12:06:05 PM
I suspect he planted brine peppers seed.

Why did Gwyneth Paltrow name her second child Moses instead of a fruit like her first child Apple?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 22, 2009, 05:28:50 PM
She finished reading Genesis and had moved on to Exodus.

Who invented the french fry?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 22, 2009, 05:37:19 PM
French Stewart







Is this the end of Rico?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 23, 2009, 06:15:07 AM
If he brakes the law, then Dredd has to judge him.



How is Adam Sandler still getting work ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 23, 2009, 06:21:55 AM
By never underestimating the stupidity of the viewing public.

Do these pants make my butt look big?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 23, 2009, 06:24:48 AM
No, the pants have nothing to do with it.


How high is a Chinese mountain?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 23, 2009, 06:38:47 AM
About Ye high.

Why do objects always look closer than they appear?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 23, 2009, 11:12:34 AM
I was never drunk enough to experience such phenomena.

Why don't people dance The Hustle anymore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 23, 2009, 12:42:05 PM
Because they can watch it in Blu Ray instead  :wink:



Is it true that when Michael Bay closes a door, the door explodes in a slo-mo styleee...?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 23, 2009, 12:46:28 PM
Yes and its all caught on a shaky camera.

What made the babies in "Its Alive!" mutated?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 23, 2009, 01:31:31 PM
They sat too close to the TV.

Who put chocolate in my peanut butter?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 23, 2009, 01:38:59 PM
That's not chocolate...



Could we beat the imdb in a fight ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 23, 2009, 02:10:55 PM
Yes, as long as we'd all had porridge beforehand.

Can eating too many hot curries actually cause spontaneous human combustion?




Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 23, 2009, 02:39:35 PM
I'm sure there'd be flames shooting out of somewhere.

How do people grow those giant pumpkins?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 23, 2009, 03:40:01 PM
Atomic radiation.

How smooth is a baby's bottom and why do I want a shave that'll make my face feel like one?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on June 23, 2009, 04:13:19 PM
I dunno-but blowing yer nose will feel like wiping yer a$$!

Why does Fu Manchu lisp?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 23, 2009, 05:09:27 PM
He's trying to keep that fake mustache from falling off.

Was that Elvis I saw at the corner store?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 23, 2009, 09:02:35 PM
Doubtful -- he works in the back stockroom and isn't supposed to be fraternizing with customers.

Why is Ken Russell obsessed with sexy nuns?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 23, 2009, 09:18:09 PM
Isn't everybody?


Who would win in a fistfight beween Ghandi and the Dalai Lama?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 23, 2009, 10:02:53 PM
The promoter!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Milky Way bar?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on June 24, 2009, 05:30:50 AM
The promoter!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Milky Way bar?
42.

What can change the nature of a man? (Planescape: torment, anyone?)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 24, 2009, 07:10:35 AM
Long exposure to a real b***hy woman.

Can money buy happiness?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 24, 2009, 07:25:42 AM
No, so send all of yours to me; I live to be miserable.

To be or not to be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 24, 2009, 08:55:42 AM
Well that is the question isn't it.

How old are you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 24, 2009, 09:21:48 AM
Old enough to know better, but young enough to enjoy doing it anyway.

How now, brown cow?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 24, 2009, 11:13:13 AM
Well, personally, I like lots of Kahlua in mine, with just a dash of milk.


Et tu, Brute?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 24, 2009, 11:30:10 AM
Mi Corazón!

Why is Jon Voight urging Megan Fox to follow his daughter Angelina Jolie's lead by helping charitable causes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 24, 2009, 11:51:31 AM
He needs someone else to get the attention on him in case Angelina goes on vacation or something.

What is the meaning of your screen name?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 24, 2009, 12:46:25 PM
I'm a man of many parts. All second hand.

Why is Soylent green?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 24, 2009, 01:01:36 PM
Added chlorophyll, plus a glistening drop of retsyn. Gets the taste of people out of your mouth.


Is it pronounced "chowdair" or "chowdah?"


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 24, 2009, 02:50:06 PM
Depends on how much the Senator has been drinking that night.


What is the actual distance to Pon Farr?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 24, 2009, 05:01:03 PM
You'll find out when you're older... :wink:


How can the same shi* happen to the same guy twice ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 24, 2009, 05:10:33 PM
Ask Bill Murray.

Who asked you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 24, 2009, 05:56:27 PM
Um, you just did.

Is anybody goin' to San Antone, or Phoenix, Arizona?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 24, 2009, 07:35:21 PM
Anyplace is all right, as long as I can forget all those Charley Pride records my parents used to play.


Do you know the way to San Jose?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 24, 2009, 08:39:01 PM
No, I'm going San Francisco and plan on wearing flowers in my hair.

Who died and made you boss?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 24, 2009, 09:25:05 PM
Bea Arthur.

I know you are, but what am I?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sister Grace on June 24, 2009, 10:07:26 PM
You are Fred in reverse...

Who am I?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 24, 2009, 11:54:21 PM
I don't know, but you look just like the person who posted just before I did.

What color was it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 25, 2009, 05:36:28 AM
It was dark red, so I went to the doctor. A shot fixed it right up.


Won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 25, 2009, 05:44:27 AM
Ok hold on...ow...damn...foot cramp, foot cramp...have to sit down.

Who is Luke Skywalker's father?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 25, 2009, 06:20:54 AM
Yo mama.

Why is Henry Aldrich such a mama's boy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 25, 2009, 07:45:19 AM
'Cause his mama's such a hottie.

Bill Bailey, won't you please come home?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 25, 2009, 10:37:30 AM
He will. After finishing his Alfred Russel Wallace film.

Who is making those crop circles?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 25, 2009, 11:48:08 AM
Artistically inclined locusts

What color is the White House?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kester Pelagius on June 25, 2009, 05:28:14 PM
[Peter Griffin voice]
Penis.
[/Peter Griffin voice]


Weren't these questions supposed to be movie related?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 25, 2009, 05:49:50 PM
Yes, but when has a topic not been hijacked?


What happens 100 years after KILLDOZER?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 25, 2009, 05:57:01 PM
We'll all be dead, so what does it matter?

Why do I giggle when I say "Van Heflin--zeppelin"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 25, 2009, 06:07:05 PM
Its a magic phrase. It means "Float like a gas bag" in ancient German.


Where does ultraman go to the bathroom?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 25, 2009, 08:51:37 PM
Let's just say that the answer explains the warm gulf stream.

What's today's secret word?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 25, 2009, 09:55:07 PM
bananas!


can a turtle go 50 mph?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 25, 2009, 10:58:56 PM
It depends on the blender setting.

Why Adam Sandler, why?!!???


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 26, 2009, 04:19:04 AM
Because someone has to be the new Chevy Chase


What can you remember from Die Hard 4 ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 26, 2009, 06:10:01 AM
Something blew up, and someone fired a gun, but I have no idea why there were midgets in ninja outfits.

How many times can they remake "It's A Wonderful Life"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 26, 2009, 09:06:40 AM
Twice more before Pauly Shore will be old enough to take the Jimmy Stewart role. Then, the Apocalypse.

Have you danced ever with the devil in the pale moonlight?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 26, 2009, 09:19:58 AM
no!


Why is it that the people on a nudist beach the people you don't want to see naked? :teddyr:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 26, 2009, 11:48:59 AM
Because anyone I want to see naked is going to charge me for the privilege.

Why the heck did Lady Vengeance stuff her face in that cake?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 26, 2009, 12:56:43 PM
Well, she'd been dieting for a while and she thought she'd earnt it.



Will Michael Bay ever make a low budget, heart warming, tear jearker ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 26, 2009, 01:07:50 PM
Yes, it was a film about a transgender couple in love until one dies, then the studio got a hold of it, added a ton of special effects, explosions, and replaced the couple with robots that turn into vehicles. I believe it was called Transformers or something like that.

How can you tell the nationality of your potato salad?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 26, 2009, 02:29:56 PM
by the way they kill each other

what is the owl in a fowl mood?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 26, 2009, 07:25:15 PM
An academic achievement at Hogwarts.

What's up, Doc?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 26, 2009, 08:37:30 PM
Your blood pressure. Here's a prescription.


Why didn't the submarine in Fantastic Voyage return to normal size?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 27, 2009, 01:19:49 AM
It would've been too graphic for a PG rated movie to show the submarine exit from the anus in normal size.

Whatever happen to Rosemary's baby?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 27, 2009, 03:14:04 AM
It's now the head of FOX News.

Why hasn't the Flying Spaghetti Monster touched some people with his noodlely appendage?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 27, 2009, 07:43:18 AM
They are gluten intolerant.

What ever happened to Rob Lowe?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 27, 2009, 11:04:26 AM
He opened a chain of home improvement stores so he could build multiple closets to come out of.

Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 27, 2009, 04:16:11 PM
Yes, John is too uptight, Don is banging Judy and Doctor Smith swings the other way.


Who invented poutine?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 27, 2009, 04:25:01 PM
Canadian Trailer Trash.

Why is little Orphan Annie without pupils?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 27, 2009, 04:45:30 PM
She lost her teacher's license.

Will Sandra Bullock ever be loved by the masses?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 27, 2009, 05:05:42 PM
Only after she washes each and ever one of them.

Do you want fries with that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kester Pelagius on June 27, 2009, 05:10:33 PM
Oui, puta!


What's the best way to dispose of an irradiated alien corpse?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 27, 2009, 06:25:42 PM
With some onions, garlic and a hint of curry.

What are aliens usually so hostile?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 27, 2009, 06:54:56 PM
They're tetchy after being woken up from cryogenically induced sleep too early from their liking.

Are droogs fans of the tv series "The Avengers"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 27, 2009, 07:46:07 PM
No, they are something you step in on your way inside to watch episodes of "The Avengers" and now have to scrape the bottom of your shoe.

Why do we ask these questions?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 27, 2009, 08:19:39 PM
It's the only way to get to the next post.

What wouldn't I give to have Scarlett Johansson draped over my body like a moist sheet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 27, 2009, 10:15:18 PM
Your ability to enjoy said situation.

What is your quest?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 28, 2009, 05:28:25 AM
To destroy the Ring of Power


How long are radio stations going to keep playing Michael Jackson songs ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on June 28, 2009, 09:18:15 AM
To destroy the Ring of Power


How long are radio stations going to keep playing Michael Jackson songs ?
Until he comes back from the grave.

Where is Godzilla when we need him?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 28, 2009, 09:34:26 AM
In the bathroom waiting for some toilet paper.

So how do they squeeze those gators to get the juice to make into Gatorade?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 28, 2009, 10:48:23 AM
Very, Very Carefully

If you were a robot, but didn't know it,  and we did know-would you want us to tell you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 28, 2009, 12:05:02 PM
11001100100110101011001010100100101001100111110000011010101010100101011001


Who would win in a fistfight between Andy Warhol and Salvador Dali?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 28, 2009, 01:26:05 PM
Neither of these artists is very physical; they would probably fight to a draw.

Why don't they making movies about women trapped in Filipino jails anymore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on June 28, 2009, 04:49:47 PM
Due to the notorious 'Great Manilla Metal File Glut' of 1990-91.

Has the famous 1977 strain of 'Saturday Night Fever' been properly isolated under laboratory conditions by scientists?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 28, 2009, 09:09:27 PM
Almost. As a precaution, scientologists are trying to sap the joy out of life to prevent the spread of the disease.

Does a bear poop in the woods?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 28, 2009, 10:20:45 PM
Only if there is not an RV near by.


What was that thing with that guy in it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on June 29, 2009, 01:40:57 AM
Only if there is not an RV near by.


What was that thing with that guy in it?

Paris Hilton. :teddyr:

Did the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles graphic novel have a panel where one of the turtles threw a guy into a toilet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 29, 2009, 02:31:11 AM
No. It had a panel where one of the turtles threw a guy into a Guilinggao jelly machine.

Why is it so hard to capture a decent picture of bigfoot?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on June 29, 2009, 02:39:35 AM
No. It had a panel where one of the turtles threw a guy into a Guilinggao jelly machine.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on June 29, 2009, 04:19:54 AM
No. It had a panel where one of the turtles threw a guy into a Guilinggao jelly machine.

Why is it so hard to capture a decent picture of bigfoot?

Because he's so ugly, cameras break.

Is Stewie Griffin the love child of Lois and that Arnold kid form "Hey Arnold"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 29, 2009, 06:29:33 AM
Dang it!  That was supposed to be revealed in the last episode.

Why doesn't Hollywood make movies like Bollywood does?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on June 29, 2009, 07:38:27 AM
Why doesn't Hollywood make movies like Bollywood does?

They don't have the super-hot-mother-in-law-killer curry, they don't have the babes, they don't have the moves and they don't know how to play cricket.  :smile:

Why is it so damn cold today?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 29, 2009, 09:45:34 AM
Because my area has all the heat. And I do mean ALL. I think I lost 3 pounds just cooking breakfast this morning.

Is it just me, or is it hot in here?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 29, 2009, 09:52:02 AM
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen...




Will Flashdance ever be remade ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 29, 2009, 10:39:44 AM
Pixar is already working on the animated remake, in 3D. It will be rated G though.

Why isn't Crystal Pepsi available anymore?





Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 29, 2009, 10:56:48 AM
Oh she is... she's just working at the Happy Happy Fun Time Gardens Massage Parlor under her new name, Candy Mintz.

What actually happens in the censored orgy footage from EYES WIDE SHUT?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kester Pelagius on June 29, 2009, 11:10:18 AM
TOM CRUISE b*****e!

All things being equal and the circumference of a square being the hypotenuse of a deuce have you ever wondered if the biblical Adam was circumcised?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 29, 2009, 11:31:50 AM
Sure he was, but they had a heck of a time finding a mohel.


Would you like some toast?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 29, 2009, 12:05:26 PM
Yes but only the crusts please.

Did you hear the one about he rabbi, priest and atheist?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 29, 2009, 03:26:38 PM
Oh yeah. All three die on the same day and wind up at the Pearly Gates together. And the atheist says "Aw f**k!"


What do you get when you cross an ocean with a ship?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 29, 2009, 04:28:58 PM
Oil spill.

Is Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 going to be awesome?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 29, 2009, 04:56:21 PM
As awesome as Big Top Pee Wee and Earnest Rides Again!

Why is it that the Final Chick is never a chunky chick with glasses and acne?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 29, 2009, 05:08:32 PM
Because chickens have been selectively bread for thousands of years to weed out the glasses and acne gene.  Therefore, when a chicken's eggs begin to hatch, no chick has glasses or acne. 


Why won't you believe me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 29, 2009, 05:53:04 PM
Because you're dressed as a carrot

Do you feel the need, the need for speed ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 29, 2009, 06:02:50 PM
Hyperspace or Impulse power?

The Blob creeps, leaps, glides and slides...but why won't it disco?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 29, 2009, 06:28:29 PM
Even a shapeless, binge-eating monster from space has some standards of behavior.

Are you hep to the jive, turkey?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 30, 2009, 05:21:28 AM
Sorry, I speak only Caucasian.

Why is Jabba The Hutt so obese?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on June 30, 2009, 06:20:56 AM
It's genetic, all right?  Stop picking on him; he can't help it!

Why don't we ever see Jeff Goldblum doing roles like Macbeth?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Saucerman on June 30, 2009, 06:25:23 AM
I dunno about Macbeth, but he's too neurotic to play Hamlet.

Why do fools fall in love?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 30, 2009, 06:50:57 AM
Because there's not a lot of thinking involved.

Has anyone ever had a bustle in their hedgerow? 


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 30, 2009, 07:17:03 AM
That is not a question to ask in polite company! And I hardly know you, so it is none of your business what I have in my hedgerow.

Would you rather have rockin' pneumonia or the boogie woogie flu?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 30, 2009, 07:21:02 AM
Neither. I want boogie woogie flu 2 : electric flugaloo




What do get when you fall in love ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 30, 2009, 07:48:25 AM
A lifetime of wondering why you did.

Why must it end this way?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 30, 2009, 07:58:52 AM
Because the other board members don't approve of our love, Darksider  :wink:



Who watches Wimbledon ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 30, 2009, 11:14:20 AM
Aspring tennis ball chasers

Who watches the World Cup?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on June 30, 2009, 12:54:50 PM
It depends on what's in that cup.
Who watches the watchmen?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 30, 2009, 01:55:17 PM
The competition.

Is nothing good enough for you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 30, 2009, 02:18:06 PM
I'm sorry. I'm just a perfectionist.


What do women see in Johnny Depp /


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on June 30, 2009, 02:36:59 PM
An idiot. That's what Depp stands for in German.

Was the 1969 moon landing really set up in a film studio?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 30, 2009, 06:22:14 PM
Yep. Best work Toho ever did.


If Martians constantly have a mad post to attack Earth, what do Venusians have a mad posh for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 30, 2009, 10:22:22 PM
Well, women are from Venus, so I'd say chocolate.

Why was the genie in the bottle of Jim Beam?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 01, 2009, 05:35:12 AM
If you had to live in a bottle, you would drink too.


Why don't psychic know why i called them in the first place?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on July 01, 2009, 07:45:47 AM
That antenna the aliens inplanted in your head is blocking your brain waves.

Where have all the flowers gone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 01, 2009, 07:54:21 AM
Sorry, guess I used too much Roundup

Is there really a Poland Spring?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 01, 2009, 09:24:45 AM
Only in Sint Eustatius.

Why do people sweat?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 01, 2009, 09:46:19 AM
They're scared of meeting me in a dark alley.

What is the horror of Spider Island exactly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 01, 2009, 11:15:22 AM
The latest Disney ride that will be turned into a movie...or vice versa. 

Will you marry me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 01, 2009, 11:17:47 AM
We been through this before, Darksider...shhhh :wink:



What time is it ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 01, 2009, 11:19:45 AM
Time for you and DarkSider to stop posting answers a few seconds before I can compose my incredibly clever response!

What was the breast count in MALIBU EXPRESS?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 01, 2009, 12:56:41 PM
A vampire with huge knockers.


Can you handle the truth?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 01, 2009, 01:27:12 PM
I don't know.


Can you handle John Goodman ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 01, 2009, 05:29:02 PM
Only after a fifth of whiskey.

How well do we really know the real you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on July 02, 2009, 02:03:08 AM
How well do we really know the real you?

If thou knowest my underpants, thou knowest me. :buggedout: :buggedout:

Serious question: there is a lady in my life who is the love of my life. She knows how I feel and my feelings are reciprocated but she prefers to see me as her brother. Why is that?  :question:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on July 02, 2009, 06:37:24 AM
Because she's your sister?

Well, serious answer, I'll never ever claim to understand women.  However you've got two choices:  A)  (this is the one you should choose) Move on, find someone who sees you as the love of her life, get hitched, or B)  (this is the one you should NOT choose) Live on an emotional roller coaster until some day in the indeterminate future when she either makes up her mind or starts going out with some other guy right in front of you.

My question:  Why is water wet?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 02, 2009, 06:45:16 AM
or starts going out with some other guy right in front of you.


I hate that. Especially when they know how you feel !  :bluesad:
It's soul destroying.


Anyway, why is water wet ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 02, 2009, 07:35:03 AM
Because it's got water all over it.

Do you like my nuts?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 02, 2009, 07:37:17 AM
Only if you like my banana...




Why don't people like Men In Black II ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 02, 2009, 09:04:14 AM
Only if you like my banana...

Are you trying to cheat on Darksider? For shame!  :bouncegiggle:

Anyway, people really do like MIB II; they're just playing it cool.

What's black and white and red all over?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 02, 2009, 09:19:04 AM
An embarassed Man In Black



Will they remake Catwoman ?

*The love between me and Darksider is secret so shhhh... :teddyr:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 02, 2009, 10:03:59 AM
Only if they find a drug as popular as cocaine was in the 80's.


Which way is considered North at the North Pole?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 02, 2009, 11:39:52 AM
Look for talking reindeer and elves who want to be dentists.  

Why does Doggett all of a sudden think I have the hots for him?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 02, 2009, 12:14:29 PM
Relax, it's platonic hots...I love chicks way too much...hmm..Elvira... :teddyr:




How hot are you ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 02, 2009, 12:29:26 PM
About 37 degrees celsius.


Is Bigfoot real?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 02, 2009, 12:32:32 PM
He's as real as Bighand




How many tellys do you own ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 02, 2009, 12:35:59 PM
Just the skull of Telly Savalas.


How long would it take a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters to produce the screenplay for a Michael Bay movie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 02, 2009, 12:39:00 PM
Would next Tuesday be okay for delivery? The script is done; we're just having some problems teaching the monkeys how to run the photocopier.

Who's buried in Grant's tomb?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 02, 2009, 12:42:30 PM
Ellie Sattler



Who is The Doctor ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: BakuryuuTyranno on July 02, 2009, 03:50:06 PM
A guy who couldn't cut it as a professor

What would happen if Michael Bay remamde Raptor Island?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 02, 2009, 04:09:39 PM
Mountain Dew would have another vehicle to promote their soda.

Isn't paying Michael Bay all this attention lowering the property value of this thread?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 02, 2009, 05:30:33 PM
It's okay: If the value gets too low, Obama will give us a bailout.

Who's on first?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 03, 2009, 04:05:27 AM
Yes.

Why don't we have comedic teams like the Ritz Brothers and the Three Stooges anymore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 03, 2009, 06:35:39 AM
Because the average Will Ferrell character is dumber than all three stooges combined.


How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 03, 2009, 06:39:12 AM
Naw, I prefer Slap Your Mamas.

Why did Tom Cruise buy his daughter Suri a Kangaroo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 03, 2009, 06:44:17 AM
He's trained it to jump on the couch, so she won't miss him when he's away from home.


Are you interested in saving money on long distance?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 03, 2009, 06:50:21 AM
Yes, tell me more...




Would you like to book now ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on July 03, 2009, 07:23:23 AM
I'm not gonna book for a couple hours.

Why doesn't the posessive form of "it", i.e. "its", have an apostrophe?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 03, 2009, 07:29:38 AM
Because then people might mix it up with the contraction of "it is."

Why is life like a box of chocolates?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 03, 2009, 08:39:00 AM
Because if people were told it was like a can of spinach, the suicide rate would go up.

Which witch is which?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 03, 2009, 12:16:49 PM
The one on the left is that one, and the other one is on the right, silly.

If you could direct the world's stupidest movie, whose career would you happily end by making them the star?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 03, 2009, 01:12:52 PM
Somebody beat me to the punch: Mike Myers. The Love Guru (2008).

Why are people afraid of thunder and lightning?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on July 03, 2009, 01:48:31 PM
It's a natural instinct to fear loud things, that's why so many men stay single.

If alcohol is a depressant, where do I get a happyant?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 03, 2009, 03:42:42 PM
You can have mine, after she's had a few too many to drink.

Where does this sidewalk end?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 03, 2009, 04:35:28 PM
At a street with no name.

Why did Alexis Arquette change his sex?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 03, 2009, 07:23:28 PM
If you were a woman, would YOU have slept with him?

Why did Dean Martin never make a fantasy movie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 03, 2009, 07:28:48 PM
I think any movie in which someone meets Jerry Lewis and doesn't strangle him qualifies as a fantasy film.

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist party?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 03, 2009, 08:07:31 PM
Nyet.


What's in the Colonel's secret recipe?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 03, 2009, 09:55:09 PM
11 herbs & spices: tumeric, saffron, opium, freeze-dried (pre-chewed) bubble gum, antifreeze, thyme, vulcanized rubber, Donder, Blitzen, Comet and Cupid.

Are you being served?*



*A memorial tribute to Wendy Richard and Molly Sugden, both of whom passed away this year.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on July 04, 2009, 07:30:37 AM
Last year I wanted the complete "Are You Being Served" DVD megaset for Christmas.  Instead I got pants.  So NO, I am not being served  :hatred:

Do woodpeckers get headaches?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 04, 2009, 07:52:42 AM
If you hit them hard enough with something to make them stop all that noise, I am sure their little heads will ache.

So how about that local sports team?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 04, 2009, 07:57:32 AM
Oh...erm...yeah...they suck/rule !



Does tomorrow ever die ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on July 04, 2009, 08:10:34 AM
No. It's reincarnated as yesterday.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? (I know the REAL answer,if yer interested.)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 04, 2009, 08:17:19 AM
No. It's reincarnated as yesterday.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? (I know the REAL answer,if yer interested.)
Uh...fap?

So, what is the real answer?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 04, 2009, 09:46:41 AM
42.


Why must my stomach obey to be flat?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sister Grace on July 04, 2009, 01:59:23 PM
because it is mocking my front tire....

How hard would life be without thumbs?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 04, 2009, 02:00:27 PM
Hard on an EPIC scale (how would a games console pad work ?)


Why am I only attracted to the weird chicks ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 04, 2009, 02:32:30 PM
Because normal chicks are afraid of you :wink:

What is the secret of Eminem's success?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 04, 2009, 02:56:51 PM
M & M's


Is long hair awesome ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 04, 2009, 03:25:05 PM
I find it gets caught in my zipper.


Why can't we have nice things?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on July 04, 2009, 04:18:02 PM
Due to the effects of global warnimg.

Does reversing the polarity of the neutron flow actually get you better reception with a traditional television aerial whilst travelling through the vortex?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 04, 2009, 04:20:23 PM
No, it only works with a sonic aerial.
You can get them from the same place as the screwdrivers. :wink:




How do you fix the Chameleon Circuit ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 04, 2009, 04:27:16 PM
You can't because every time you work out a solution, the damned thing changes.

Why can't the Doctor regenerate as a really hot woman due to some space anomaly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on July 04, 2009, 04:40:00 PM
Davros didn't include that aspect of his genetic make-up when he created him in conjunction with the Master. (The BBC is going to sue for that spoiler!)


Why are some tennis players said to perform better on grass. I thought ALL drugs were banned in professional sports?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 05, 2009, 07:15:09 AM
Which prompts me to wonder what John Mcenroe was on back in the day.

Why has it rained so much this year?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 05, 2009, 07:29:05 AM
Somebody stepped on a spider.

Who's got the look?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 05, 2009, 07:56:35 AM
It depends on who has angered my wife at the time.

What is wrong with Japanese television game shows?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 05, 2009, 08:18:12 AM
Nothing. They make perfect sense. It's the rest of the world that's crazier than a poop fight in a monkey house.

Who farted?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 05, 2009, 08:43:32 AM
Chet Donnelly.

Why do so many people get raped in Minneapolis?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 05, 2009, 09:13:40 AM
They've been listening to Prince's music too much

Did Dr. Doolittle really talk to the animals?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 05, 2009, 09:23:12 AM
Yes.
In fact, he talks, walks and squarks with the animals...





Do you need a haircut ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 05, 2009, 10:02:49 AM
No, because you can end up looking like Larry, Moe, or Curly if a stranger cuts your hair.

So how far down the line do turtles have to wait for their chance at a world dominating uprising?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on July 05, 2009, 11:06:04 AM
Not too long.  But their behind Chuckawallas (a type of lizard) robotic leprechauns...and ME!

What is it with you and her anyway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 05, 2009, 01:36:25 PM
You can ask her yourself as soon as she is done with...ooh, ooh, ahhhhh.  Okay, babe, answer the man.

What brought you to such a lowly state?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 05, 2009, 02:16:09 PM
The elevator.

What kind of new spin should they put on the ROSEMARY'S BABY remake?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 05, 2009, 03:32:03 PM
Rosemary will be the name of the sled.
Why am I so tired?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 05, 2009, 05:22:36 PM
Because typing can be *puff, gasp* tough *wheeeze* work.

Why?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 05, 2009, 05:42:58 PM
Because I had nothing better to do with it.

BTW, what is it anyway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 05, 2009, 07:01:09 PM
It (pronounced /ɪt/) is a third-person, singular neuter pronoun (subject case) in Modern English.


Once you have the money, the power and the women, then what?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 05, 2009, 07:53:35 PM
You get your picture in a lot of rap star's houses.

Do the Care Bears really care?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 05, 2009, 08:01:05 PM
Not since Grumpy Bear was charged with mansalughter.


So how did you get that motortcycle on the high dive?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: TheDope on July 05, 2009, 09:55:02 PM
A lotta hard work and a lotta pancake makeup.

Is it me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 06, 2009, 08:24:04 AM
It's not you, it's us. We need our space and you life and ours seem to be growing in different directions. You are a great poster and all, and I am sure someone will find you are just the person they want to post in their forum, but for us, it's just not going to work out. Don't cry. It's going to be alright. One day you will look back on this and know we were all wrong together anyway.....


Why is everything believed to be better with bacon on it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 06, 2009, 08:35:33 AM
It's only believed that doesn't make it so.



Why is everyone in my family crying ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 06, 2009, 09:56:06 AM
I'm really sorry that I have to be the one to tell you...but you have passed away.

What should I do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 06, 2009, 10:09:29 AM
First thing is take a bath, we can smell you from here.


So tell me, how did doggett die?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 06, 2009, 11:23:05 AM
Heart attack on meeting Elvira in person at a convention.  We all saw it coming.

If you sold your soul to the devil, what would you want in return?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 06, 2009, 11:27:34 AM
Elvira (around 1988/96 Elvira...that's when she's hottest)



That remote you've got, what does it do ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 06, 2009, 11:32:57 AM
Nothing since I apparently lost whatever it went to.


Do your ears hang low?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 06, 2009, 11:55:30 AM
Yes and they dangle to and fro.

Why do rap guys wear diamonds in their teeth?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on July 06, 2009, 12:47:21 PM
It's damned hard to steal them without the owner noticing.

Who do kids with 20 lb. backpacks think it's vitally important that their Ipod be no bigger than a credit card?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 06, 2009, 04:36:41 PM
So they'll have more room for Red Bulls and Mountain Dews for their all-night gaming marathons.

Buffalo gals, won't you come out tonight?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 06, 2009, 07:58:08 PM
Don't talk about your mom like that   :teddyr:

Why do Gremlins melt in sunlight?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 06, 2009, 08:03:51 PM
Because they are made of cheese.

So what is the wonder drug?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 06, 2009, 08:05:24 PM
He goes by the name of Superdrug !



Do you get embarrassed buying condoms ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 06, 2009, 08:45:48 PM
Only when Mom is working at the counter.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 06, 2009, 11:44:46 PM
Because 7 8 9!


What's the deal with airline peanuts?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 07, 2009, 05:18:39 AM
They're free but with purchase of a ticket, so there is no big deal.

Why do chicks like the Twilight book series?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on July 07, 2009, 09:41:16 AM
Because those books are wayyyy better than Riding The High Wind: An Irreverent Overview of the South African Film Industry's History 1895 ~ 2009 and other points of interest by Trevor T. Underpants Moses.  :teddyr: [BTW: that thesis is real]

Why am I leaving the warm embrace of badmovies.org for a week from this Sunday?  :buggedout:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 07, 2009, 10:59:58 AM
Because you prefer the warm embrace of a woman...




Who's the man ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 07, 2009, 11:48:18 AM
The guy with the master plan.

Is it true you don't have to take your clothes off to have a good time?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 07, 2009, 02:24:47 PM
The guy with the master plan.

Is it true you don't have to take your clothes off to have a good time?

It is true...but you might need to undo a few buttons...



What's the definition of irony ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 07, 2009, 03:22:16 PM
Vaguely similar to iron.


When is a carrot like a snowmobile?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 07, 2009, 04:01:22 PM
When Bugs Bunny is skiing in Aspen.

Why does hair grow out of some peoples ears?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 08, 2009, 08:09:06 AM
It often gets sucked out from the top of their head.

Will Coca Cola ever try to change their recipe again?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 08, 2009, 01:11:51 PM
Nope, it's always been made from people and it always will be.


Got milk?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 08, 2009, 05:48:36 PM
No, so you can't suckle me. At least not for free

Is it Hammer time yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 08, 2009, 07:23:37 PM
No, thats on Thursday. Wedensday is pick ax day.


If a bolt comes from the blue, what comes from the mauve?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 08, 2009, 09:59:56 PM
Assorted Phillips head screws.


Whatever happened to Randolph Scott?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on July 09, 2009, 12:32:32 AM
He's riding the range with several Facebook friends.


Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 11, 2009, 11:20:18 AM
Roseanne Barr's huge rump.

Why don't we say what we really mean?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 11, 2009, 03:01:41 PM
I have no way of knowing what you mean by that question.

How can Troma make movies on such minuscule budgets?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 11, 2009, 03:14:46 PM
Because their brains are the same size as their budgets.

How many Andy Milligan movies can a person watch in a row before their head explodes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 11, 2009, 03:38:45 PM
Because their brains are the same size as their budgets.

How many Andy Milligan movies can a person watch in a row before their head explodes?

I'm guessing the number of Andy Milligan movies Raffine has seen, minus one.

What would Walt Disney think if he was alive today?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 11, 2009, 06:35:39 PM
"Aggghhh! I'm frozen in a block of ice!"


Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 11, 2009, 06:44:38 PM
Because I like to walk around dressed as a statue.

Why didn't Little Bunny Foo Foo get the hint from the Good Fairy and leave those poor field mice alone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 11, 2009, 06:53:30 PM
Because, in the words of Mr. T, he was a foo.


Where have all the flowers gone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 11, 2009, 06:57:11 PM
*burp*  What flowers?

Did Mulder ever learn the truth on "The X-Files"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 11, 2009, 07:37:46 PM
Yes, that only geeks watched the show, and they only wanted to see Scully in her underwear.

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sister Grace on July 11, 2009, 08:11:44 PM
Definitely not beneath my window.....

Do you have to be a mailman to qualify as "going postal"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 11, 2009, 08:46:21 PM
Only if you want the postal retirement plan.

Do you want me to turn this car around right now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 11, 2009, 10:35:18 PM
HELL, NO!!!  I'm wanted in that state, so keep driving or I'll shoot.

Why don't actors get paid realistic wages and get paid a bonus if the film does well?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on July 12, 2009, 06:41:55 AM
It's real hard to support a $2,000 a day cocaine habit on realistic wages.

Why do so many reviewers NOT mention if a movie has nudity in it? 


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 12, 2009, 07:55:32 AM
Because you should watch Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell for the merits of its storytelling and cinematography, not just to see tatas.

Why do some jerks refer to mammary glands as "tatas"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 12, 2009, 11:59:13 AM
Because calling them "hooters" would be disrespectful to women.

Is this life real, or am I just dreaming it all?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 12, 2009, 12:00:45 PM
Some of it's real...but some of it is a nightmarish delusion...





What's a good magician name for me ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 12, 2009, 12:20:00 PM
Doggett The Nearly Mysterious

Does this font make my asterisk look big?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 12, 2009, 02:46:00 PM
No the font is just too small for you.


So what is the deal with the alledged stonemason imagery on US currency?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 13, 2009, 09:23:43 AM
Ah, that's The Doggett signal !
Stick a torch under the image and it will shine in the nights sky !
It lets me know when you're in trouble and need my help...why is it on money...I just thought it would be cooler that way.








I challange you to Mortal Kombat !
Do you accept ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 13, 2009, 11:51:21 AM
Only if its thumb wrestling.  :thumbup:

Whats for lunch today?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 13, 2009, 12:49:33 PM
Naked.





What's lightening made of ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on July 13, 2009, 01:16:26 PM
Not sure, but custard with mustard would be my guess.

There are people on this board who don't like fake boobs.  I ask you - how can this be ?!?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 13, 2009, 01:41:55 PM
You've never seen Demi Moore in Striptease, have you...?



Will the mini skirt ever comeback ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: flackbait on July 13, 2009, 03:00:20 PM
Well according to Benny Hill its back! :smile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgyIt8nY_bU

Why don't people like my new lawn ornament?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 13, 2009, 05:50:17 PM
A six-foot stone penis comes very close to contravening the neighbourhood association rules.


Did video really kill the radio star?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 13, 2009, 06:14:27 PM
No, it was her boyfriend, DVD, that killed the video star.




Why are the skirts so short for female tennis players ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on July 13, 2009, 06:53:18 PM
So you can get a better view up there.

Why are Burger King's commercials so profoundly retarded?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 13, 2009, 09:49:48 PM
Because they know their customers.

Who would win in a debate over the best dinner salad: Machiavelli or the Marquis de Sade?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 14, 2009, 10:57:56 AM
I'd pick the Marquis; I believe that's de Sade that would win.

If aliens ate humans, how do you think they would prepare us?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 14, 2009, 03:40:12 PM
They would prepare us by making us watch all Rob Schneider films. After that, being eaten doesn't seem so bad.
  :teddyr:




What becomes of the broken hearted ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: meQal on July 14, 2009, 09:55:45 PM
They vow revenge and then make low budget horror films about it.



So anyone found any naked Terminators in their area lately?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 15, 2009, 02:05:08 AM
They only arrive in Armani in our area.

Did LaToya Jackson kill Michael?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 15, 2009, 11:40:39 AM
Nope...Latoya IS Michael

Did you clean your room yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 15, 2009, 11:59:32 AM
I'll do it after I finish my homework !


WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME  :hatred: !?!?! :wink:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 15, 2009, 04:46:49 PM
Nobody's betraying you. By the way, there's something in your back.


So, how does Joel eat and breathe?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 15, 2009, 05:18:14 PM
Through his mouth and butt.

Why did Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince made so much money at its midnight showings on Wednesday?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on July 15, 2009, 08:22:06 PM
Magic.


Am I doing this right?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 15, 2009, 10:50:57 PM
You're a man...of course you aren't doing it right.   :lookingup:

Where were you the night Chicago died?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 15, 2009, 11:00:12 PM
I was out buying some paper lace for the living room.


I know I shouldn't ask this, but for whom does the bell toll?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 16, 2009, 06:10:25 AM
Quasimodo

(By the way, nice pick up on the "Night Chicago Died" reference, AndyC)

Kookie, Kookie, could you lend me your comb?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 16, 2009, 07:10:03 AM
Never use the things, but I have a razor you can borrow.


How do you solve a problem like Maria?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 16, 2009, 08:23:04 AM
You don't, Maria continues to be a problem until this day.

Whats your favorite color?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 16, 2009, 08:28:14 AM
You mean my favourite colour ?
Purple. But my choice changes all the time...





What would happen if Jaws got remade ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 16, 2009, 08:42:46 AM
People on this board would complain about it.  :teddyr:

What kind of mother would name her child "Weng Weng"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 16, 2009, 12:03:48 PM
A mother who named his/her twin brother "Bling Bling".

Quote
You mean my favourite colour ?
Why do people from England add in a "U"?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 16, 2009, 12:40:18 PM
I blame the metric system.

Why are Fritos corn chips so damn addictive?






Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 16, 2009, 04:42:37 PM
The Keebler elves pee in the mix.

Who broke this?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 16, 2009, 04:48:11 PM
The Keebler elves pee in the mix.

 :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 16, 2009, 06:23:10 PM
The Keebler elves pee in the mix.

Who broke this?

It was Darksider...he's been walking funny...



What happens when you reverse the polarity flow ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 16, 2009, 10:32:02 PM
Jon Pertwee looks down and smiles.


Ever been in a Turkish prison?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 17, 2009, 06:02:21 AM
No, but apparently they have ots of women in them...well...that's the idea I'm getting from the films I watch...







What's the story morning glory ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 17, 2009, 06:09:15 AM
Well, once upon a time, there was a plucky girl welder who really wanted to dance...nah, never make it as a movie.

How many times do I have to tell you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 17, 2009, 06:12:22 AM
Just one more time...I'll remember this time, honest.



What does David Cronenburg dream of ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 17, 2009, 07:32:02 AM
A magic land of unicorns and rainbows.


If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 17, 2009, 07:55:24 AM
Can't happen. Al Gore hears everything in the forests of the world.

Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 17, 2009, 08:17:53 AM
In my pants currently

Who throws a shoe...honestly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 17, 2009, 09:05:19 AM
The same guy that sticks a remote up his...



Are you ready to go ?




Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 17, 2009, 12:04:56 PM
Yes, I've been waiting on you to finish your makeup.

Does this taste funny to you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 17, 2009, 12:18:35 PM
Dude, you weren't meant to eat that !!





Are you going to take the rubbish out ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 17, 2009, 12:36:14 PM
That's no way to talk about your sister!


Will it be my way or the highway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 17, 2009, 02:27:20 PM
Hmm...I've heard about "your way" so I'll take the highway. It's more hygenic.





What's your favourite font ?






Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 17, 2009, 11:03:29 PM
Fontanel, but don't press too hard.

Did your mother tell you THAT was acceptable behavior?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 18, 2009, 01:11:13 PM
Did your mother say that tone of voice is acceptable ?





I'm hungry, can you cook me dinner ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on July 18, 2009, 04:29:16 PM
Yes but only if you hunt for the main course yourself down the woods.

Do you think I came up the Clyde on a bike?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 18, 2009, 08:59:20 PM
Yes but I am lacking the photographic evidence currently.

Did Al Gore really invent the internet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 18, 2009, 09:30:41 PM
As surely as Michael Moore is an unbiased documentary filmmaker.

Who left this cake out in the rain?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 18, 2009, 11:20:25 PM
Julia Child. But she has an excuse.  She's dead.

Does your girlfriend know what you did with that goat before you cooked it for her dinner?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Allhallowsday on July 18, 2009, 11:53:09 PM
Julia Child. But she has an excuse.  She's dead.

Does your girlfriend know what you did with that goat before you cooked it for her dinner?
Naaaah!

Does everybody hate Microsoft?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Dendog21 on July 19, 2009, 12:02:17 AM
only the people that know other operating systems exist



If there were a gay man humping your leg would you let him stay or would you beat him off?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 19, 2009, 05:04:40 AM
Erm...when you say "beat him off"...??? :bluesad:




What's the time, Mr. Wolf ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 19, 2009, 08:33:50 AM
It's Howdy Doody time! It's Howdy Doody time!



When selling sea shells by the sea shore, should she sell sale sea shells or simply sumptuous sea shells?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 19, 2009, 08:30:37 PM
I'm not sure although you could ask Peter Piper as long as he isn't picking a peck of pickled peppers.

Will Tim Burton ever direct a film that doesn't look ridiculously Gothic?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: indianasmith on July 19, 2009, 08:35:23 PM
Only if he discovers how cool the Victorian era really was!




So, is that the hilt of your sword, or are you just glad to see me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 19, 2009, 09:24:58 PM
I'm glad to see that that's the hilt of my sword.


Do I need call the Waaaaaambulance?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 19, 2009, 09:57:56 PM
Only if you got a paper cut.


Why is it that a bad movie seems good?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 20, 2009, 11:47:18 AM
Typically one of two reasons: alcohol, or boobies.

Is a cancer-infected venomous snake really any scarier than a non-cancer-infected venomous snake?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 20, 2009, 09:08:01 PM
Typically one of two reasons: alcohol, or boobies.

Is a cancer-infected venomous snake really any scarier than a non-cancer-infected venomous snake?

If they're smoking Camel non-filters...yes.

Who is the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 21, 2009, 10:56:51 AM
Typically one of two reasons: alcohol, or boobies.

Is a cancer-infected venomous snake really any scarier than a non-cancer-infected venomous snake?

If they're smoking Camel non-filters...yes.

Who is the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air?

The throne has sat vacant since 1996 when Will Smith abdicated the title so he could become the Filthy Rich Duke of Blockbuster Video Rentals.

Isn't it about time for Martin Scorcese to do another black comedy?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 21, 2009, 05:14:24 PM
I think he's waiting to see how Tyler Perry's white comedy turns out first.

Why are so many people following Ashton Kutcher on twitter?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 21, 2009, 05:52:08 PM
To better plan the hit. He'll never see it comming.




Why did Godzilla cross the road?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 21, 2009, 11:09:58 PM
To get to the other side of Tokyo.


Do I need to open a can of Whoopa$$ on you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 22, 2009, 08:31:24 AM
No, it now comes in convenient resealable packets.


What does V'Ger want with the creator?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on July 22, 2009, 11:59:41 AM
To dance.

Why does Cameron Diaz refuse to appear in a remake of The Sound Of Music?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 22, 2009, 03:10:19 PM
Because she doesn't want to associate with anyone who would cast her in a remake of The Sound of Music.


How many pecks in a bushel?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on July 22, 2009, 03:23:13 PM
About 72 – 84.

Why can't MechaGodzilla defeat Godzilla?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 22, 2009, 05:41:30 PM
About 72 – 84.

Why can't MechaGodzilla defeat Godzilla?
You kidding? Have you seen ths size of those feet?



How do you Armadillo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 22, 2009, 07:03:18 PM
Give it a gun.


Who wants gum?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 23, 2009, 03:20:14 AM
Please put that back under your shoe and don't offer it to me again.

Who watches the Watchmen?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 23, 2009, 08:39:03 AM
Hopefully not enough for them to make a sequel.


Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on July 23, 2009, 09:19:35 AM
No, I'm more of a winters night...



How many arms do you have ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 24, 2009, 05:56:37 PM
Depends on when I last juggled chainsaws.



How do you make duck soup?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 24, 2009, 06:07:49 PM
Impossible, what with the Marx Brothers being dead and all.


How did I get here, and where is that large automobile?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 24, 2009, 09:06:20 PM
In the river that flows underground. Your beautiful wife is in the front seat.


When confronted by angry cannibals, is it more proper to wear white shoes or brown shoes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 24, 2009, 09:09:28 PM
Brown.  Even if white, the load you'll drop when you see cannibals will turn them brown anyhow.

Dude, wheres my car?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: p1zl3 on July 24, 2009, 11:12:12 PM
...Sorry, I borrowed it and here's $200 for the "love-stain" on the back seat. D*ckhead move on my part.


Do all zombies have 500lb+ test intestines like Nazi Zombies do in "Dod Sno"?

(http://blogs.amctv.com/horror-hacker/DeadSnow560.jpg)




Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on August 03, 2009, 04:31:41 PM
Yes.





Who is going to want to smell like Amy Winehouse ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on August 03, 2009, 04:49:45 PM
Might be an improvement for this kid:
(http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/assets_c/2009/02/slumdog1-thumb-400x362.jpg)


Who wants free corn?

(That's the next question, but it actually makes a pretty good caption.)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on August 03, 2009, 05:10:51 PM
The children of Gatlin.

Why did Michael Jackson's mom get custody of his kids?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on August 03, 2009, 11:24:33 PM
Because she has such a great track record of raising stable, well-adjusted children.


I came in here looking for something. What was it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on August 04, 2009, 05:02:54 AM
Your car keys. Thanks for leaning them to me, here have them back.



Why are you on fire ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on August 04, 2009, 05:06:24 AM
Because I've got a bad desire.


What's that on your head?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on August 04, 2009, 05:45:27 AM
I'm not sure, but don't make any sudden movements. I think it might bite.

Why are there crackers all over the couch?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on August 04, 2009, 06:09:25 AM
 :buggedout: Ermm... sorry, I forgot to clean up after last night.

Will my underpants ever be clean again?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on August 04, 2009, 07:06:26 AM
I think the bigger question is, were they ever really clean to begin with?


Where were you on the night of June 5th?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on August 04, 2009, 07:09:19 AM
Probably in bed sleeping.

What is the exact origin of the phrase "Don't get your panties in a bunch"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on August 04, 2009, 07:49:27 AM
No idea. But I wouldn't get your knickers in a twist over it.


Did you hear about what Darksider, Circus, Newt, ghouck, the Rev., Sister Grace, AndyC, 3mnkids, Trevor, Jack and javakoala all did last night ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on August 04, 2009, 11:10:33 AM
Yeah,...and they didn't invite me.  I thought we were friends.


Are we in the matrix?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on August 04, 2009, 11:40:37 AM
Theres a lot of black and green around here so I'm thinking yes.

What is your favorite flavor of Tootsie Roll Pop?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on August 04, 2009, 03:20:44 PM
kiwi!
if a chicken hand a half lays an egg in a half in a minute and half, how long does it take to get to Hawaii?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on August 04, 2009, 05:25:41 PM
From here, about 3800 miles outside of Honolulu, it would take half a chicken about 3 years to get to Hawaii, taking into account stopping every minute and a half to lay half an egg, with rest stops every hour to explain why it's trying to cross half a road. The whole chicken was hit by a bus, so I can't determine the time frame for its journey.


Doctor Who?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on August 04, 2009, 06:02:48 PM
Indeed.

Does this look infected?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on August 04, 2009, 10:15:53 PM
Yes, unfortunately we may have to amputate.


How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?

(there's an actual answer to this, and I'll be amazed if the next poster gets the reference)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on August 05, 2009, 01:40:56 AM
Did you hear about what Darksider, Circus, Newt, ghouck, the Rev., Sister Grace, AndyC, 3mnkids, Trevor, Jack and javakoala all did last night ?

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:

I dunno about those other friends, but I was watching footage of the 1947 Royal Tour to South Africa. Princess Elizabeth and Princess Margaret were quite the babes back in the day.  :smile:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on October 30, 2009, 10:32:13 AM
I leave them alone if they leave me alone.
What was Jess Franco thinking?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on October 30, 2009, 06:00:18 PM
"BARBED WIRE DOLLS will be my CITIZEN KANE."

If there were an eighth face of Dr. Lao, what do you think it would have been?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on October 30, 2009, 09:57:28 PM
Felix Unger.

Have ye ever been to sea?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on October 30, 2009, 10:03:02 PM
Aye, it be wet and salty.  Nuttin' more den dat dough. 

Who decided to bump this thread up again?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on October 31, 2009, 04:29:34 AM
Me.
But why?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on October 31, 2009, 06:01:18 AM
To impress Jodie Foster.

What is the square root of mayonnaise?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on October 31, 2009, 07:33:20 AM
2 miles of ketchup

Is the new Milla Jovovich movie The Fourth Kind (2009) about Alien abduction?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on October 31, 2009, 07:48:31 AM
Its about us hoping to see her scantly clad again. 

What should you don on Halloween to houses that don't give out candy?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on October 31, 2009, 11:35:16 AM
Empty your nose at them and fart in their general direction.

Hansel?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on October 31, 2009, 11:54:48 AM
Sorry, he's just been cooked by a witch---would you like to speak to Gretel instead?

Why couldn't the queen in ALIEN just apply for citizenship legally?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on October 31, 2009, 12:16:46 PM
Because Ripley also works part time at the Immigration Office.

Will there be a sequel to Michael Jackson's documentary This Is It?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on October 31, 2009, 01:20:06 PM
The working title is "That Was It"


Why Chernobyl?
Why, why, why why?
Why George Gobel?
Why, why, why why?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on October 31, 2009, 04:25:55 PM
Why not?

Which celebrity is in reality the superhero The Maksed Sea Turtle?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on October 31, 2009, 06:51:14 PM
Oprah Winfrey

If Vampires never grow old, does that also apply to new born vampire babies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on November 01, 2009, 01:25:57 PM
Not if you're William Smith(Grave Of The Vampire).

Can you really go blind if you do that too much?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on November 01, 2009, 01:46:11 PM
I only became nearsighted.

Are we there yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on November 01, 2009, 02:17:30 PM
Yes, assuming that by "there" you mean strapped into the backseat with nothing to do for hours and hours.

What's the name of the next Pee Wee Herman movie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on November 01, 2009, 08:28:17 PM
Whip It Out, Ruin Your Career

Whats the use of day light savings time...honestly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on November 03, 2009, 08:45:29 PM
It has been scientifically proven to be the most confusing idea ever.  The USA government adopted it so people will become distracted from Area 51.

Why don't scientist's figure out a way for the human body to not need to use the bathroom? It just seems like so much time could be saved if nobody ever needed a bathroom break.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on November 03, 2009, 10:54:23 PM
Oh, they've tried, and they'll succeed if they can overcome the small problem of test subjects exploding in a spray of liquid s**t.

Who is Harry Kellerman, and why is he saying those things about me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on November 04, 2009, 05:18:23 PM
He is the winter of your discontent. And you used to beat him up in high school....which is why he says all those mean things about you(it's okay, we don't believe any of them) :teddyr:.



How do I cure my cold ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on November 04, 2009, 10:03:21 PM
I've invented a cure for the common cold. It can take up to a week to work, but it's 100 percent effective.

So, how green was my valley, anyway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: hellbilly on November 05, 2009, 01:36:45 AM
Green as peas on a sunny Sunday morning.

Is The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) going to rock your world?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on November 05, 2009, 09:14:41 PM
If silver bullets and wooden stakes are introduced then sure.

Where have all the cowboys gone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on November 05, 2009, 09:24:40 PM
Same place all the flowers went.

How many quarts of motor oil will the average bowler hat hold?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on May 07, 2010, 07:47:17 AM
Around 2.

What's the best thing to do with old CDs ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 07, 2010, 08:30:42 AM
Grind them up and use it for spice.

When did the foreign war of the fried fish take place?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 07, 2010, 10:32:00 AM
During the great herring depression.

Why was P!nk mean to her husband?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Allhallowsday on May 07, 2010, 11:17:28 AM
Why was P!nk mean to her husband?
She was blue. 

What time is it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 07, 2010, 02:10:02 PM
Time for Allhallowsday to get a watch!

How did Doggett know I was just wondering what had happened to this thread?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 07, 2010, 02:38:59 PM
He was reading your diary.

What exactly happened to Bret Michaels?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on May 07, 2010, 08:23:02 PM
What exactly happened to Bret Michaels?

The pressure of competing with Cyndi Lauper and Susan Osburne on Celebrity Apprentice was just too much.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 07, 2010, 11:51:55 PM
Look up every Maria in the phone book and bump 'em off, Terminator-style.

Why do pigs oink?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on May 08, 2010, 06:18:04 AM
It's a language specifically tailored to the discussion of a mud-bound garbage eating lifestyle.

How do birds manage to fly when it's really windy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 08, 2010, 06:34:12 AM
Autopilot.

Is Sandra Bullock planning new movies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 08, 2010, 07:48:53 AM
no if it involves Jesse James.

Could R.O.T.O.R. be the next Robocop?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on May 08, 2010, 11:22:07 AM
Only the Public Relations team knows for sure.

Who's been mucking about with my spam filter?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 08, 2010, 11:34:48 AM
The Jimmy Dean sausage company.

Why are there no cone shaped planets?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on May 08, 2010, 02:36:02 PM
There are lots of cone shaped planets - they just look round because we're seeing them from the bottom.

What happened to all my hopes and dreams?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on May 08, 2010, 02:43:58 PM
You got married Jack...sorry.

Why is there always so much laundry to do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 08, 2010, 03:30:43 PM
Trevor brings his underwear over to be washed when you're not looking. (though I think you'd notice the smell...)

When dogs lick themselves, do they like the taste?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on May 08, 2010, 10:22:38 PM
If they did, they wouldn't want to stop.

Is it getting dark soon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 08, 2010, 11:00:42 PM
There is no way out of here.  It'll be dark soon.  There is no way out of here.

What speech defect does Popeye suffer from?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 08, 2010, 11:20:12 PM
Pipetitis

Will seafood meals survive oil leak?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: joejoeherron on May 09, 2010, 03:58:00 AM
Depends on how much fish oil they already contained.

Will there be a new remake of Smokey and the Bandit?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 09, 2010, 05:36:35 AM
Of course!  EVERYTHING gets remade nowadays!  :hatred:

Why does 'bananas' mean crazy?  What does a fruit have to do with mental condition?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 09, 2010, 10:30:31 AM
Bananas hate Peanut butter jelly time.

is there light?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on May 09, 2010, 11:31:36 AM
No, the ladies drank all of it. Have a REAL beer, wussy!

Do you hear what I hear?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 09, 2010, 12:43:04 PM
It wasn't me.

Do Full-body scanning machines reveal too much?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 09, 2010, 12:43:58 PM
They don't reveal anywhere near enough!

What is the meaning of this question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on May 09, 2010, 03:18:55 PM
42


Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
 


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: wickednick on May 09, 2010, 04:40:25 PM
Because I have a huge nose the little birdies love to perch on

Does Snake Pliskin ever smile?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 10, 2010, 01:01:56 AM
If you felt Escape From L.A. was going to suck that bad, would YOU smile?  :tongueout:

If there's a boulder on your shoulder, do you feel kinda older?  And do you trip the merry-go-round?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 10, 2010, 01:07:50 AM
No, and no :)

Why is Obama very concerned about Greece's economic crisis?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on May 10, 2010, 05:11:34 AM
He needs the olive oil and feta to power his new flight-capable body armor, Obamatron 5065.

Why does seafood alfredo make me randy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 10, 2010, 03:10:00 PM
They don't; your name is Joe.

Why does pig sh*t stink so bad?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 10, 2010, 04:29:47 PM
Cuz it's pig s**t

Why was Bush in Office?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on May 10, 2010, 04:33:12 PM
Cuz he wouldn't stay in the yard where he was planted.

Is you is or is you ain't?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 10, 2010, 05:04:47 PM
That ain't none of your business!

Why aren't were-elephants more popular than were-wolves?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on May 10, 2010, 07:22:55 PM
Twilight would be a lot more entertaining.

How much is that doggy in the window?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 10, 2010, 07:31:35 PM
You don't want that doggy. He's blind and rabid!  (By the way, I almost asked that same exact question!)

What is Rita Hayworth's secret identity?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 10, 2010, 09:15:12 PM
Keith Richards

What manner of creature is Q*Bert?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 10, 2010, 11:08:44 PM
m&m-zoid

Why does Kate Perry want a small wedding?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on May 11, 2010, 01:14:48 AM
Because her husband has a small penis.

Why does the local IHOP smell like ass?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 11, 2010, 01:27:40 AM
Because her husband has a small penis.

 :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 11, 2010, 11:27:57 PM
Because her husband has a small penis.

Why does the local IHOP smell like ass?
It stands for Introducing Hogs' Overripe Posteriors.

If Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres could conceive a child together, what would it look like?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on May 12, 2010, 05:33:11 PM
Probably that hideous troll under the bridge.

Why don't sphagetti and cheese whiz go together?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 12, 2010, 07:53:16 PM
Because incest is illegal.


Why do oak trees remind me of pine trees?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 13, 2010, 12:57:57 AM
You should be pining for the fjords, not trees!

How do the cat in the cradle, the silver spoon, Little Boy Blue and the man in the moon keep you from being an involved, caring parent?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 13, 2010, 01:26:03 AM
They don't because I don't have kids :)

Why did Anti-gay rights activist George Rekers resign after a trip with a male escort?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 13, 2010, 11:36:48 PM
He wanted to pull out.  ...um, of the business!  Whew.. nice save!

If dolphins could talk, what would they say?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: vukxfiles on May 14, 2010, 03:23:26 AM
They'd unintentionally reveal their plans for killing all humans at 2012 and becoming the true rulers of the world, again.

Why do people call aliens Little green men, when they are obviously grey?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 14, 2010, 08:16:10 AM
Because if they don't call them little green men, Corey the Cabbageman will get them.

How come the early bird special is always worms?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: vukxfiles on May 14, 2010, 10:09:31 AM
Because the early worm special is always birds

How come Milla Jovovich doesn't want to get breast implants?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 14, 2010, 02:27:36 PM
Because they might leak, making her Milla the Spilla.

Why did Popeye and Bluto fight over such an ugly, skinny b*tch like Olive Oyl?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 14, 2010, 03:05:39 PM
Because Olive made damn fine Margaritas.

Why is soccer popular in Europe?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on May 14, 2010, 03:52:45 PM
Because you can spend the entire game waiting in line for beer and waiting in line for the bathroom, and you don't really miss anything.

Why do some dogs bark all the time?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 14, 2010, 10:05:17 PM
Because they think "SHUT UP!!!" means "BARK MORE!!!".

How do porcupines have sex?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 14, 2010, 10:16:36 PM
Very, very carefully.


Where did my good pants go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on May 14, 2010, 11:53:57 PM
Check eBay. *whistles*


Where does beef stew come from?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 15, 2010, 12:48:46 AM
You honestly don't wanna know :(

What does it mean to 'walk a thin line'?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 15, 2010, 05:08:09 PM
Ask the high wire balancing act at the circus.

If you offered a penguin a drink with ice in it, would he be offended?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 15, 2010, 06:30:42 PM
No, he would just say "That's very, very ice of you!"

Why does it seem like I always have to use the toilet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on May 15, 2010, 06:57:57 PM
Beware of the old Ex-Lax Practical Joke.

Why aren't trains more prominent as a mean of travel these days?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 15, 2010, 07:39:38 PM
The older generation of trains is too busy train-ing younger trains who are train-ees to do the work for them!*


Would it be rude to ask my teacher to fax my homework to me?




*Sorry for these horrible jokes!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: wickednick on May 16, 2010, 03:28:07 AM
Fax? Who the hell faxes now days? It's time to get with the 21st century buddy, it's called e-mail.


How many times will I have to hear "Enter Sandman" in my life time?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 16, 2010, 03:34:58 AM
Just stop listening to The Fringemunks.

Why did Palin tell Obama 'Do your job, secure our border' ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on May 17, 2010, 01:37:17 AM
Because the condom broke.



Why don't hookers fit in blenders?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 17, 2010, 01:55:02 AM
Because hookers and blenders don't "mix".  (or chop, puree, etc.)

Does the customer get a refund if a hooker has her period during sex?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 17, 2010, 10:52:38 AM
Only if he keeps the receipt. 

Was anyone else disappointed when the year 2000 rolled around and we still didn't have any Death Races?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on May 17, 2010, 01:15:31 PM
I was.
So I invented Death Table Tennis* !  :teddyr:


What was your last nightmare ?









*I can't drive.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on May 17, 2010, 04:44:44 PM
I won't say. Let's just say it featured a Knight and a mare.  :buggedout: "Shudder!"

Why do they play Christmas movies in July?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 17, 2010, 04:52:22 PM
Because Hannukah has cornered the June market.

Why do some people still refuse to call me "Lord of all that can be seen"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: jimmybob on May 17, 2010, 04:58:21 PM
Your mother was a chameleon.

Why do they call him Mister Tibbs?

-Jimmybob


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 17, 2010, 06:00:06 PM
'Cause long ago, he used to be Tyler Tribble Tibberjockey, the famous High Priest of The Church of Sandwich.

How does one scratch himself/herself in two places at once?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 17, 2010, 09:32:49 PM
With use of their two hands, scratching different areas.
Or, if they split themself vertically in two halves.  If they're still alive they can be in two different places and scratch themself.

Why do people envision kangaroos as boxers?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on May 17, 2010, 09:36:01 PM
Because koala bears just won't work

Do you have the time?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 17, 2010, 10:27:36 PM
It's your bedtime young man!


Why do I feel like I'm the only 18 year old that barely remembers anything from my childhood?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 17, 2010, 11:22:05 PM
Because I killed off all the other 18-year olds.  You are the only cool one!

If salt kills slugs and Alka-Seltzer kills ducks, what works on pesky raccoons?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: joejoeherron on May 18, 2010, 04:36:55 AM
hollowpoints

why does my watch band keep breaking?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 18, 2010, 05:24:21 AM
Because it was made in Taiwan.

Has Polanski paid his dues?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 18, 2010, 05:56:26 AM
Yes sir, the check is in the mail!*

Why would I rather be a hammer than a nail?




*What movie is this from?  :smile:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 18, 2010, 09:25:02 PM
Big Trouble In Little China, and it's better to be a hammer so you can hit people on the head, instead of be a nail and vice versa.

If someone says "liar, liar, pants on fire" should you look down at your pants just in case?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 19, 2010, 04:40:01 PM
Not if you've been needing a vasectomy anyway.

What is the leading cause of chewing tobacco related deaths, aside from biological problems?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on May 19, 2010, 09:01:20 PM
Not if you've been needing a vasectomy anyway.

What is the leading cause of chewing tobacco related deaths, aside from biological problems?

Blowback from spitting out an open truck window.

What the heck is that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on May 19, 2010, 09:02:44 PM
Sorry, my fly was open again.

What is your problem?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on May 19, 2010, 09:12:32 PM
Despite recent advances in science there are still far too few varieties of cheese.

Who killed Cock Robin?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on May 19, 2010, 09:15:59 PM
F*ck Wing with his tiny bow and arrow

Mary Contrary, how does your garden grow?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 19, 2010, 09:21:54 PM
Peachy keen, Mr.Dean!

Am I insane or did I truly see a snake riding a tiny moped?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 20, 2010, 06:49:47 AM
You're insane.  Join the crowd.  :smile:

If Batman and Robin really ARE gay, how can they concentrate on crimefighting when they're wearing such tight outfits?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: wickednick on May 20, 2010, 07:00:04 AM
You're insane.  Join the crowd.  :smile:

If Batman and Robin really ARE gay, how can they concentrate on crimefighting when they're wearing such tight outfits?


The tiny eye slits on their masks act as side blinders

Explain this picture for me
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/wtf_pics-pickle-boys.jpg)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 20, 2010, 07:46:34 AM
An idea Vlassic toyed with before settling on a stork for their commercials.


Ever been to sea, billy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 20, 2010, 09:15:34 AM
No, but I heard he likes Gladiator movies.

Why is Lindsay Lohan facing jail time?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on May 20, 2010, 11:03:17 AM
Quote
No, but I heard he likes Gladiator movies.

Why is Lindsay Lohan facing jail time?

For pretending to act

Why are there so many handicapped parking places in the world?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 20, 2010, 11:14:20 PM
Beekumpf dere are lotf uv hamdeekapt peepul in de wurld.

Why are pubic lice called "crabs"?  How do they resemble the similarly-named crustaceans?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 21, 2010, 10:58:33 AM
Because they listen to Larry King.


When did the giant chicken cross the road?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 21, 2010, 11:08:22 AM
Because Bert I. Gordon couldn't shoot the scene without him.

What did Ed Wood wear when he couldn't get hold of cashmere?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 21, 2010, 11:29:19 AM
A frown.


Why did the Human Centipede cross the road?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 21, 2010, 09:29:36 PM
To find other body parts for the sequel, "The Human Millipede".

If your pet could talk all of a sudden, what would its first words to you be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on May 21, 2010, 09:32:03 PM
"You know, my butt really is delicious! Wanna try it?"


Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 21, 2010, 10:25:46 PM
Only the kinky ones.


Is this a dagger I see before me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 22, 2010, 12:37:43 AM
No. That's my candy cane.

Will Paula Abdul return for the 'Idol' finale?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on May 22, 2010, 12:07:13 PM
She doesn't even know she left so its probable

What will Oprah do with all her spare time?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 22, 2010, 12:36:01 PM
I personally don't give a s**t. :teddyr:


How green was my valley?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on May 22, 2010, 12:59:14 PM
You get an F for accuracy. It was a dried canal, but not a valley.

When Queen sang "We will, we will, rock you" were they talking about granite or sandstone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 22, 2010, 01:16:02 PM
neither, it was LIMESTONE!

what would a dinosaur say?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: MrMari on May 22, 2010, 01:44:01 PM
Dinosaur - "Hey, whats that giant thing in the sky coming right for us?"

If Hugh Hefner's mattress could talk, what would it say?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 22, 2010, 02:39:34 PM
"Weinerschnitzel"

What exactly is the Abraham–Lorentz–Dirac force?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 22, 2010, 04:08:25 PM
A law firm.

If Pac-Man eats up to 16 ghosts, 2 fruits, 240 dots AND 4 power pellets each maze, how does he get rid of it?  Is there a pac-toilet we don't know about?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 22, 2010, 04:11:31 PM
Pac Man is a TARDIS in disguise.


Who put the dip in the dip-da-dip-da-dip?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 22, 2010, 04:15:59 PM
These guys!
(http://mike.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/2112.jpg)

Why is Jack Palance so weird looking?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Allhallowsday on May 22, 2010, 11:22:55 PM
Why is Jack Palance so weird looking?
After plummeting off of a precipice, PALANCE had every bone in his body, including all three ear bones, broken, and then was hideously scarred in the subsequent explosive and fiery automobile accident, aka car crash. 

You believe me don't you? 



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 23, 2010, 02:17:52 AM
Actually, he got his face pummelled in the boxing ring, then in WWII he barely ejected from a burning B-24 during a training flight and underwent massive reconstructive surgery.
Or so says Wikipedia..

What is the cause of 'morning wood'?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 23, 2010, 02:23:34 AM
Waking up in a forest.

Who punched you in the face?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 23, 2010, 02:53:15 AM
Me.  There was a bug on my nose.

Why does a sharpei's tail curl up so everyone can see its butthole?  Icky!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on May 23, 2010, 05:04:27 PM
It's a status symbol amongst sharpei's.  Smaller butthole = harder to make your b***h = more respect in the yard.  It's a form of intimidation, like the dog is saying, "Thinking of making me your b***h?  Think again."

My question:
If Jesus could turn water into wine, what could he turn wine into? 


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 23, 2010, 05:50:47 PM
p*ss

Why don't Mario and Princess Toadstool/Peach have any kids?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 23, 2010, 06:22:38 PM
Something's wrong with his plumbing.


Can anybody find me somebody to love?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 24, 2010, 03:27:58 AM
Freddy Mercury's corpse.. if you're into that sort of thing.

Is Supertrain available on DVD?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: vukxfiles on May 24, 2010, 03:51:47 AM
ask Google, we don't know every movie you can think of

Whay did I fall asleep these two last nights while watching Amazon Women on the Moon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 24, 2010, 03:59:51 AM
'Cuz it's not really that good.. Kentucky Fried Movie is better.

Why does Frogger turn purple when he mounts a lady frog?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on May 24, 2010, 01:15:55 PM
He's a chameleon in excited disguise.

Why can't aliens really be little green men?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: vukxfiles on May 24, 2010, 01:35:42 PM
Because they are evolved from dolphins, which is why they are GRAY

Why do little children have to believe in Santa?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on May 24, 2010, 07:27:37 PM
They're secretly afraid that he might 'sleigh' them.

Do you want fries with that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on May 24, 2010, 09:23:37 PM
No, that was not a typo.  I want fires with that.

If an angel gets wings when a bell wings, what happens when they lose their wings?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 24, 2010, 09:36:39 PM
They grow horns and trade in their harps for pitchforks.

Shouldn't cufflinks on a 3-piece suit make it a 4-piece suit?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 24, 2010, 09:57:26 PM
Two cufflinks would make it a five-piece suit.

Why is Frank Beard the only member of ZZ Top who doesn't have a beard?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 25, 2010, 09:45:39 AM
It's a joke name, like the bald stooge named Curly.

Since everyone knows about Calgon, what is the REAL ancient Chinese secret?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 25, 2010, 10:23:32 AM
Lucy Liu used to be a guy.


What is "natural male enhancement" anyway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on May 25, 2010, 11:23:42 AM
Watching porn

What does the "C" in AndyC's name stand for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 25, 2010, 11:47:15 AM
Canadian. Duh.

Who started the whole naming colors after objects thing (avocado green, peach, orange, etc.)?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JJ80 on May 25, 2010, 12:44:48 PM
Wasn't it that 'Man From Del Monte'.

How many grains of sand are required on a beach to create the optimum conditions for comfortable donkey rides?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 26, 2010, 03:45:37 AM
Just one grain of sand.  Then you're off to never-neverland.

If Ghostbusters was remade today with a whole new cast, who should play Venkman?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 26, 2010, 06:57:25 AM
Oh, somebody young, good-looking and physically fit. Take your pick; they're interchangeable.

How do they get the eleven herbs and spices into the Caramilk bar?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 26, 2010, 07:33:54 AM
Coercion and blackmail.

What didn't the "Hear No Evil" monkey hear?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 26, 2010, 11:39:53 AM
I tried to tell him my life story, but he just kept putting his hands over his ears and saying "I'm not hearing this!"

Who would win a DRACULA v. FRANKENSTEIN rematch?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 26, 2010, 12:08:11 PM
The teenage girls, because Dracula will be a sparkly wuss.

Why was the finale of "Lost" so friggin' stupid?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 26, 2010, 01:26:23 PM
Because it was written by tv show writers.


In the medical profession, what is the difference between an M.D. and a D.O.?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: jimmybob on May 26, 2010, 07:11:18 PM
the M and the O

Why doesn't falafel come in different colours?

-Jimmybob


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: The Gravekeeper on May 26, 2010, 07:27:40 PM
Because the companies that would supply the dyes are engaged in a massive but secret war with each other over.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, anyway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 26, 2010, 09:20:19 PM
San Diego, CA

Has anyone ever seen an express lane with a sign in excess of "15 items or less"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on May 27, 2010, 04:18:29 PM
Yes, indeed. Walmart. Theirs reads, "You must weight 400 pounds or less."

Where DID the Wendigo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on May 27, 2010, 04:36:34 PM
I dunno. Alaska.

where the hell has Javakoala been?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 27, 2010, 04:45:42 PM
He's been hiding in his underground lair whilst plotting the eventual destruction of the Hamburger Helper Factory.

Why do small dogs hate me so much?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: MrMari on May 27, 2010, 06:26:39 PM
Its the Pup-Peroni you got in your pocket that you won't give up.

Does anyone know why the Asian folks in Kung-Fu movies have such long ass facial hair?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 27, 2010, 09:25:46 PM
It's the curse of Fu Manchu.

Why aren't there more movies about killer parakeets?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 27, 2010, 11:18:06 PM
Because parakeets will sue in a heartbeat if they feel like their character has been maligned.


What made dinosaur?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: The Gravekeeper on May 28, 2010, 12:30:20 AM
Nothing; they never existed. Paleontologists made them up so they can rake in the royalties every time a movie features dinosaurs.

Why do spiders keep coming out of the drain in my bathtub?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 28, 2010, 11:47:14 AM
To eat the flies buzzing around your toilet.


How much spray cheese would it take to fill an average adult colon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on May 28, 2010, 12:48:08 PM
You can keep spraying that stuff up there forever, it's really quite amazing. 

Why is mozzarella stringy when you melt it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 31, 2010, 05:39:31 AM
So you can reenact the "spaghetti scene" from Lady & The Tramp with your loved one, with cheese instead of spaghetti.

If Dig Dug and Pac-Man had a fight, who would win?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 31, 2010, 08:13:08 AM
The pay-per-view broadcaster that carried the fight.


If x=2(y+13z) and z=x-2, then why?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 31, 2010, 08:57:00 AM
I don't listen to hip-hop.

Why do fools fall in lava?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on May 31, 2010, 09:26:31 AM
To get the Precious.


How many raccoons can fit in the average Smart car?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 31, 2010, 01:20:15 PM
About 300, if they're clown raccoons trying to fit into a clown Smart car.

Why do so many people say "I could care less" instead of "I couldn't care less"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on May 31, 2010, 01:21:28 PM
Because the stupid are everywhere...


Where's my other sock ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 31, 2010, 09:04:57 PM
We didn't want to tell you, but it died and went to sock heaven.


Whodunit?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 31, 2010, 09:23:08 PM
The butler named Didit.

Anyone still own a Betamax?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 01, 2010, 07:58:48 AM
Yes, oh yes, but you can't have it.

What's the best way to cook a budgie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: dean on June 01, 2010, 08:15:39 AM
In my smugglers

[not sure if its an Aussie thing, but still:

(http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2009/12/03/1225806/772686-tony-abbott.jpg)

That picture is our oppostion leader in politics incidentally.  Scary stuff...

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_hGt7QyzKreU/S4DYDT4bHFI/AAAAAAAAH4o/TG2nctEgFk0/s400/budgie-smugglers.jpg)]


How would you remake Citizen Kane?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 01, 2010, 08:17:18 AM
I would make Rosebud a hover board like in Back to the Future, and Kane would kill a lot more people.


What is the best shampoo to use if you're bald?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 01, 2010, 11:12:23 AM
Whatever all-natural, exotic and really expensive shampoo my wife happens to have on hand - huge gobs of it.


Why does a baked potato take so long to cook?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 01, 2010, 03:32:05 PM
Potatoes are interesting creatures that can survive in all kinds of temperatures. Should one be thrown into a microwave or get boiled or deep fried, the potatoe will persist (for about forty minutes) until the heat becomes too unbearable.

That orange is looking at me funny, should I kill it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 01, 2010, 04:05:05 PM
Potatoes are interesting creatures that can survive in all kinds of temperatures. Should one be thrown into a microwave or get boiled or deep fried, the potatoe will persist (for about forty minutes) until the heat becomes too unbearable.

That orange is looking at me funny, should I kill it?

No, look what happened in Ireland.


What do you think Saturn tastes like?


(Woohoo! Post number 8000!)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 01, 2010, 09:28:56 PM
Depends which Saturn you're talking about: the car?  Too metallic.  The planet?  Too cold.  The Sega Saturn console?  Not bad, but needs salt. 
Sailor Saturn?  Um.. I wouldn't know, perv!  Too young for me!
(http://nightdreams.nhjm.net/sailormoon/saturn12.jpg)

How is it that Mario can jump so high?  Or Luigi for that matter?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 03, 2010, 08:34:20 AM
Don't you know? There's zero gravity in the mushroom kingdom.

Me fail english?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: littlegirl11 on June 03, 2010, 08:43:15 AM
is this sailor Mercury? she so cute  :thumbup:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 03, 2010, 01:48:39 PM
Don't you know? There's zero gravity in the mushroom kingdom.

Me fail english?

You dun.  But there always chance at Ebonics!

When you first had a sno-cone, were you disappointed that it came in a paper cone and not an ice cream cone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 05, 2010, 07:12:21 PM
I was only disappointed that I got the yellow sno-cone.


Why won't Alyson Hanigan return my calls?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 06, 2010, 08:12:43 AM
I'll roll over and ask her.


What kind of batteries do you put in a vibraphone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 06, 2010, 09:27:12 AM
I'll roll over and ask her.


What kind of batteries do you put in a vibraphone?

C Sharp.

Does this milk smell funny to you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 06, 2010, 10:27:54 AM
Are you sure that is milk?  Milk doesn't usually come from bulls.

How could Beethoven compose great symphonies if he was deaf?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on June 06, 2010, 12:00:54 PM
He didn't! He was writing a novel, but his handwriting was so bad it looked like musical notes and a friend saw it and thought: "Huh! These are some good symphonies!"
The rest is history.

Why didn't the Beatles ever team up with Jerry Lee Lewis to make a musical?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 06, 2010, 03:36:55 PM
Because "Sergeant Pepper's Great Balls Of Fire" didn't sound all that great.

How do you spell relief?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 06, 2010, 03:41:29 PM
M-I-C-H-A-E-L-B-A-Y-R-E-T-I-R-E-S


If mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, what do stallions, bucks and full-grown sheep eat?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 06, 2010, 04:13:02 PM
Each other, since all the oats and ivy are gone.

Alms for an ex-leper?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on June 06, 2010, 04:26:35 PM
Sorry, but no. I only give alms to the pre-poor.

Why does showering feel best in the early morning?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 06, 2010, 09:09:51 PM
It helps wash out the booze smell from last night.

Why are Zingers (the mini-cakes) called Zingers?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on June 06, 2010, 10:01:48 PM
Pingers didn't have the right zing to it.

What is the best way to cook chipmunk tail muscle?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 07, 2010, 12:52:08 AM
No one knows. Before you can collect enough to cook, you starve to death. It's kinda like that Tootsie Pop conundrum.


Why do people jump to conclusions?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 07, 2010, 10:40:06 AM
No one knows. Before you can collect enough to cook, you starve to death. It's kinda like that Tootsie Pop conundrum.


Why do people jump to conclusions?

Why are you directing that question at me?  You're always trying to discredit me somehow.  I must really threaten you.

Why do directors keep casting Nicolas Cage in movies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 07, 2010, 10:51:14 AM
If they don't, they wake up with severed animal heads. It's a Coppola thing.


What the heck is retsyn, and why do I care if I get a glistening drop of it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 07, 2010, 10:34:16 PM
It's a mix of copper gluconate and partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil, and it makes a refreshing "ding" sound when it's in your mouth.

Why is poop called "stool"?  Isn't that something you sit on in a kitchen?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 08, 2010, 07:45:26 AM
I hope not!


Would Shatner and Seagal be a good pairing for a father-son movie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on June 08, 2010, 08:45:59 AM
Only if it's at a ham farm.

Who is the wind beneath my wings?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 08, 2010, 11:24:52 AM
I'm not sure, but I'm more interested in finding out who broke wind beneath your wings.

What were Dementias 1-12?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 09, 2010, 12:40:06 AM
Francis Ford Coppola's multiple personality disorder.

Why didn't they call the sequel to Saturday the 14th Sunday the 15th, instead of Saturday the 14th Strikes Back?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Sleepyskull on June 09, 2010, 10:30:57 AM
Time for you to hear the truth: There never was a movie called Saturday the 14th to begin with!  In fact you went insane 10 years ago and dreamed the whole thing up.

If tulips are named after the human mouth, what flowers are named after the human foot?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 09, 2010, 01:55:46 PM
'dog'wood

If a pregnant mother gets her nipples pierced, will the baby have too much difficulty nursing and starve?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 09, 2010, 08:12:28 PM
Only if she's too stupid to mix up formula. In which case the baby is also likely stupid, so maybe starvation is a good alternative.


When did Tom Cruise finally lose all touch with reality?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 10, 2010, 12:22:16 AM
When he started making All The Wrong Moves.

Would it be a curse or a blessing for a guy to have two penises?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 10, 2010, 05:29:45 AM
Two is the limit. After one in the mouth and one up the butt, it starts to get uncomfortable.

Is oatmeal really the right thing to do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 10, 2010, 03:00:39 PM
Yeah, if you're over 70.  Otherwise, chicken fried steak is the way to go.

What the hell does Iko Iko mean?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on June 13, 2010, 06:29:47 AM
It means "It's better to sweat like a dog than to have diarrhea".
What would you do with a box filled with sand and rocks?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: wickednick on June 13, 2010, 07:46:44 AM
I would use the rocks to break windows and pour the sand down my pants.

How do you let her down easy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 13, 2010, 08:35:29 AM
With a block and tackle.

Doctor who?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 13, 2010, 10:08:55 AM
He's on first. 

What the heck is wrong with Steve Buscemi's face?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: vukxfiles on June 13, 2010, 12:13:32 PM
His mouth area makes him look like a mutated rat.

Why do braces make some girls look hot?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: wickednick on June 13, 2010, 08:57:32 PM
Because now we stare at her boobs when she smiles


(http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/rsxfolife/Wtf.png)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on June 14, 2010, 02:27:07 AM
With black magic.
What is this I don't even....


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 14, 2010, 08:34:28 AM
It's nothing. The rhinos stomped it into a green mess.


What would you do if you ran the zoo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 14, 2010, 02:38:54 PM
I would include more zombies, mutants and redneck dinosaurs. Plus, any employee who does a crappy job gets fed to the vicious sewer salmon.

What's this weird thing growing on my face?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 14, 2010, 09:41:10 PM
A mischeivous grin.. what did you do?!

If poop were a sentient being, what would its favorite food be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 14, 2010, 11:23:55 PM
Having given birth to a sentient poo or two, I can authoritatively say they like flies. And Starbucks.


Why are rubber chickens funny?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 14, 2010, 11:49:40 PM
Because their limbs are so ridiculouly flexible that they flail about effortlessly when you shake one.  Kind of why I laugh at Olive Oyl.

Okay.. if PEE were a sentient being, what would be its favorite food?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 15, 2010, 12:54:55 AM
Hot dogs. Pee has issues.

How many crusts must a pie leave out before you can call it a flan?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 15, 2010, 09:55:33 AM
42, according to Hans Blaagenzflaatz's book Candidates for the Ultimate Question.



Blaagenzflaatz? What kind of a stupid, made-up name is Blaagenzflaatz?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 15, 2010, 10:27:20 AM
I don't know, but it sounds like he needs a colonic.


Does it enhance the taste of food if you yell "BAM!" when you season it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 15, 2010, 01:48:35 PM
No, it makes people think you nuked it.

Does anything cost exactly one penny anymore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on June 15, 2010, 06:29:13 PM
Yes....YO MAMA!
Question? What question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 15, 2010, 07:42:45 PM
To be or not to be - that is the question.

Will this heat wave ever end?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 15, 2010, 08:15:05 PM
Whether 'tis nobler in the sun to suffer
Or enter a dwelling with air conditioning
Or to take a fan and wave it briskly at oneself
And, by fanning, to cool. To cool,
Perchance to sweat less; Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished.

So the answer is, um, not anytime soon.



Did Little Bunny Foo Foo act alone, or was there a squirrel on the grassy knoll?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 16, 2010, 05:23:24 AM
He wasn't the only one antagonizing field mice; they're at the bottom of the food chain.  They were lucky he only bopped 'em on the head.

Why do we pronounce "bologna" as "baloney"?  Didn't baloney mean nonsense?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Conf on June 16, 2010, 07:28:30 AM
Why do we pronounce "bologna" as "baloney"?  Didn't baloney mean nonsense?

Being italian, i pronounce it "bologna". (as in "piranha", if u r wondering) :teddyr:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 16, 2010, 07:30:01 AM
*answering retrorussel's question*:

Silence! We do not question such things! The Great Slimy One will not be pleased with your rebellion against the norm.

I am locked in a room with a ruler, an orange and a spider with rabies. What do I do?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 16, 2010, 07:54:23 AM
What you should do any time you're locked in a room - masturbate. Just stay away from the spider.

Why does Hollywood keep trying to make a hero out of Shia LaBoeuf?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 16, 2010, 02:18:20 PM
To make him feel better about his goofy name.

Is the Nightmare On Elm Street remake any good?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 16, 2010, 02:59:58 PM
'Tis a decent film, but a stoned parrot can make a better movie.

Should I bow down to the psychic pteranodons?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 16, 2010, 04:35:14 PM
That depends. If you're British, their powers might not work on you.

What is the most polite way to fart loudly when in mixed company?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on June 16, 2010, 04:44:25 PM
Loudly shout "FIRE IN THE HOLD!", lift your leg, and let 'er rip. It will make you the life of the party - trust me.

Will BP CEO Tony Hayward ever get his life back? 


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 18, 2010, 07:59:32 AM
Only after doing a series of gay oil porn videos. But by then, he won't really want it any more.



Why hasn't anyone marketed a device that will let automobiles shoot a marker (paint or some such) onto the cars of drivers who do something monumentally stupid or overly aggressive (like veer across three lanes of highway to exit or cut me someone off) to mark them so that other drivers know to watch out for them?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 18, 2010, 09:39:09 AM
There are devices that will do that, but they require you to follow the guy home and wait until he goes to bed.


Why does soup get that skin on top?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Avatar on June 18, 2010, 07:48:11 PM
Because Hannibal Lecter prefers that over croutons.

What do gerbils think when they see a balloon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 18, 2010, 11:15:15 PM
"Is that what I look like if I get put in a microwave?"

Can I Haz Cheezburger?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 19, 2010, 10:21:28 AM
No. Weez only haz cheeze sammiches.

What kind of crap are you people selling?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 19, 2010, 07:31:21 PM
Complete and utter worthless crap---but because I like your face, I'm going to give you 25% off our already low, low price.

Shouldn't we all be hailing the new flesh by now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on June 20, 2010, 01:52:28 PM
Yeah, but all this "internet" thing came along, and it got cancelled.
(singing) When you wake up in the moring what's the first thing that you see?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 21, 2010, 05:05:47 AM
A big white ceiling staring down at me. (end of song line)

What do you do when you're so sick you have to vomit and expel diarrhea at the same time, to keep it from going everywhere?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 21, 2010, 06:13:55 PM
If you're like many people I know, your head is already up your a$$, so there isn't any real difference between the pukes and the runs.  :tongueout:



Is it true that Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy are mysteriously linked by a series of bizarre coincidences?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 22, 2010, 08:00:29 AM
That's what the CIA wants you to believe, man. They want you thinking about that, so you don't notice the coincidences linking Jimmy Carter and William Howard Taft. That's some real serious s**t, man.

Ever seen a horse fly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 22, 2010, 02:34:08 PM
Sure.  My cow launcher ran out of cows, so I had to use horses instead. 

Who was that on the phone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 23, 2010, 09:37:13 AM
No, who's on first. If he's on the phone, then he's off the team.


Can flaming monkeys really fly out of my backside?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 23, 2010, 10:10:54 AM
Don't know. You wouldn't happen to be the Goatse guy, would you?

What is the secret to financial independence?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 23, 2010, 11:23:55 PM
Matching all the Lotto numbers.

If Freddy Vs. Jason were a musical, would you go see it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 24, 2010, 09:20:26 AM
Only if it included the Toxic Avenger, the Hobgoblins, PLUS redneck dinosaurs.

May I ask why are you eyeing the cat?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flick James on June 24, 2010, 10:28:35 AM
Because I'm hungry.

May I ask you a question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on June 24, 2010, 03:57:25 PM
No.


Is this your card?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 24, 2010, 05:51:36 PM
It is now.



Excuse me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 24, 2010, 06:04:33 PM
Let me repeat myself: I deepfried the hamster.

Do you know the underpants man?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 24, 2010, 09:50:16 PM
He lives a couple of blocks down from Drury Lane, over by the Hershey Highway.

What do you do with a drunken tailor?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 25, 2010, 12:23:14 PM
Put him in the remnants bin 'til he's sober, earlye in the morning.


What made Henry Hudson's crew mutiny and set their captain adrift?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flick James on June 25, 2010, 01:46:17 PM
lot's of rocks but no scotch.

Have you had your chill pill today?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 27, 2010, 07:26:48 AM
I tried, but it was overly chill and stuck to my tongue.


What wine goes best with haggis and beans?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Newt on June 27, 2010, 07:39:57 AM
Genfiddich 18.

Where are the snows of yesteryear?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 27, 2010, 07:47:04 AM
What a flaky question!

What's in the restored scene of METROPOLIS?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 27, 2010, 02:24:39 PM
Clark tell Lois he's Superman


Why is this thread popular?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 27, 2010, 03:02:14 PM
It's extremely easy to sew with.

Ever seen a salad dressing?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 27, 2010, 05:37:28 PM
Yes. I had a restraining order put on me after.

Do amoebas have souls?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 27, 2010, 05:50:27 PM
Amoebas are one-souled protozoans.

What are you wearing?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 27, 2010, 07:05:01 PM
My wife's patience.

What is that liquid stuff in the middle of golf balls?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on June 27, 2010, 07:14:35 PM
Its the bi-product involved with making baby golfballs

Is anyone sitting here?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 27, 2010, 07:16:54 PM
No.. just mind the whoopie cushion.

Why did it take both Jack and Jill to fetch a single pail of water?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 27, 2010, 09:27:51 PM
Because Jack is one weak little S.O.B. And Jill is using a whip on him to get him to do his chores.


Want a screw?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 27, 2010, 10:32:24 PM
Depends on the size of the slot.

Why did the chicken cross Al Capone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on June 28, 2010, 04:40:40 AM
Because it didn't find the road.
Why is Hollywood determined to destroy everything I love?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on June 28, 2010, 05:55:43 AM
You accidently ran over Hollywood's cat and now Hollywood's gonna make you pay....


Where's my mobile?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 28, 2010, 06:06:08 AM
Hanging over your crib.

What would Bela Lugosi think of Twilight?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 28, 2010, 08:11:04 AM
He would be so enraged by what it has done to the vampire image that he would send Lobo to destroy Stephanie Meyer and all the cast and crew.

Did you really think this was all about the girl?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 28, 2010, 09:55:40 AM
Well, I kissed a girl (and I liked it), but she just wanted to have fun. However, she couldn't tell me what she wants, what she really, really wants. If she knew what she wants, I'd be giving it to her. We talked, and you should hear how she talks about you; you should hear what she's saying! But I'm a wanderer (they call me The Wanderer), so I gotta be rambling on. By the time I get to Phoenix, she'll be waking. Then, it's Surf City, U.S.A., where there's two girls for every boy!


How does one become a rocket scientist?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 28, 2010, 12:01:14 PM
Kind of a moot point, since you don't have to be one for so many things.

Doctor who?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 28, 2010, 03:06:49 PM
The guy on first is apparently a doctor now!

Did you forget to wipe?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 29, 2010, 07:56:51 AM
Of course not. I used your nice, new white shirt. Here, you can have it back now.



How stupid can you be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on June 29, 2010, 09:32:52 AM
I don't understand the question.


Why does a baby buggy need rubber bumpers anyway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 29, 2010, 11:36:22 PM
So it will survive intact when a car hits it.

What was Journey's best song?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 30, 2010, 12:30:19 PM
It was that one, with the short guy singing about some girl. It went, "La LA lalala" or something like that.


Why didn't Gilligan ever put the moves on Mary Ann? She was sooo into him.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 30, 2010, 01:57:48 PM
Because he was into Skipper.  The petname "Little Buddy" was a dead giveaway to their forbidden love.

Which is better: Columns or Tetris?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 30, 2010, 04:39:20 PM
Columns, because without them the roof would have fallen in on me long ago.

Why won't the traffic allow everything about show business to be appealing?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 01, 2010, 08:43:32 AM
Because the traffic has seen Kevin Costner "act."



How now, brown cow?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on July 01, 2010, 08:48:53 AM
He brown because he's been rolling in his own pies again.

How's your family been?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on July 01, 2010, 09:05:52 AM
My family's fine ~ my mom sends regards to all here. Just btw: that wasn't actually a stupid question, it was rather nice in fact.  :smile:

Why did FIFA decide to hold the Soccer World Cup in what is winter here?  :question:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 01, 2010, 02:03:13 PM
In hopes that the players will show off some sassy legwarmers.

Was Freud a genius or just an old pervert?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 01, 2010, 10:53:13 PM
A pervert, but a genius of perversion.



Do we really want the buffalo gals to come out tonight?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 02, 2010, 09:21:49 PM
No, because the male buffaloes will think that we stole them from them and will attack us.

Why is Smurfette such a slut?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 03, 2010, 01:17:51 PM
Because she's the only woman in the village. I mean, what do you expect?

Will there be triumph for my magic steel?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 05, 2010, 09:35:36 PM
Sadly, no.. Triumph is currently booked at a small-town county fair.

Do you have embarrassing itches?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 05, 2010, 09:52:50 PM
I'm proud of all my itches.

What do you get when you cross a marmoset with a hippopotamus?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 05, 2010, 10:35:47 PM
The proverbial 500-pound gorilla that sits wherever it wants to.



Why does the moon follow me when I walk at night?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on July 06, 2010, 05:55:44 AM
Why does the moon follow me when I walk at night?

Because your real name is Larry Talbot, not what I know it is.  :smile:

What on earth am I going to do after the Soccer World Cup is over?  :question:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 06, 2010, 06:35:57 AM
You'll play with your underpants. Probably.

What has been the holy Diver doing in the midnight sea?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 06, 2010, 07:12:07 AM
Playing with his cockles and mussels.

Ever stick your finger in a light socket?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 06, 2010, 08:52:41 AM
Oh, that question is too kinky for me to answer it.

Where is the Land of Immortals?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 06, 2010, 01:38:49 PM
Washington, D.C. Oh, wait Immortals. Sorry; missed the "t." That would be Valhalla. Or maybe Des Moines.



If a dog could speak cat language, would a cat still ignore it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 06, 2010, 01:44:07 PM
Naturally.  Cats are smug, arrogant little bastards.

Why didn't Post Cereals make more flavors of "Pebbles" besides Cocoa and Fruity?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on July 06, 2010, 09:19:56 PM
Because after the guy who invented them proposed Corny Pebbles, they figured out he was thinking them up in the John and fired him.

How much margarine do you think the average barn cat could eat?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 07, 2010, 02:23:30 PM
One pat for each pat on the head.

If Bernie Mac and Tammy Faye Baker had a child, what would it look like?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 08, 2010, 08:50:56 AM
They did; you know her as Sandra Bernhard. And no, I'm not posting a picture. That woman is hideous.



Who would win a fight between Guitar Hero and the Industrial Revolution?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 17, 2010, 03:48:00 AM
The industrial revolution.. as cool as Guitar Hero is, it's just a game.

...
OR IS IT!!!! (seeing notes speeding toward me over frets appearing from out of the sky)

What was Ms. Pac-Man's name BEFORE she married Pac-Man?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 17, 2010, 04:24:28 AM
There is no Ms. Pacman. Only Pacman in drag.

What is exactly the magic of the wizard's dream?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 17, 2010, 02:46:34 PM
It's a marketing slogan dreamt up by the United Sorcerer's Council.

Does what happens in Vegas really stay in Vegas?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 17, 2010, 02:59:07 PM
Depends on how embarrassing the act was.. if it's particularly noteworthy, then EVERYONE in and outside of Vegas can find out about it, thanks to the press/media.

Can someone put a moratorium on the phrase "Sounds like THAT'S right up your alley"?  Yuck!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 19, 2010, 03:20:35 PM
Sure! I'll do it! Moratoriums are right up my alley um, narrow passages between buildings!



Is it ever considered polite to pass gas in an elevator?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 19, 2010, 09:23:31 PM
If the person next to you stinks worse than your farts, you're definitely doing them a favor.

Do you say tah/may/to or do you say tah/mah/to?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 19, 2010, 09:43:15 PM
Stephane Mattheau was an hero in New York in 1994.

Why does the moon look like cheese?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 21, 2010, 07:46:47 AM
Because I said so.

How long will it take for you to notice that I'm just taking power metal songs and phrase them as a question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: spaz456 on July 23, 2010, 09:54:54 PM
till tomorrow


How come in oc babes and the slasher of zombietown there are no zombies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 24, 2010, 03:22:14 PM
There are.  It's us, the audience.

Do you think Ken Russell took drugs?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on July 26, 2010, 10:11:44 AM
Naw, he didn't need drugs to make cool movies. All he had was a little help from a  purple alien leprechaun.

Why isn't christianity called Jesusism?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 26, 2010, 12:17:37 PM
At the time people wanted to avoid confusion between Jesus Christ and Jesus Abelson, then a popular Jerusalem haberdasher.

They've made lots of lesbian vampire movies, but why hasn't anyone ever made a lesbian Frankenstein movie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 26, 2010, 01:13:40 PM
They tried, using parts from Slumber Party Massacre to make the ladies necessary, but they couldn't find any brains to put into the corpses.


Where do the wild things go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 26, 2010, 03:51:48 PM
Off in the wild blue yonder and the wild wild west.

Why aren't there more fish in your pool?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: violntshags on July 26, 2010, 06:07:44 PM
Because im really ugly?

Do you believe in magic?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on July 26, 2010, 06:44:10 PM
Yes, it's in a young girl's heart - so I've heard.


Don't you know about the bird?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 26, 2010, 09:39:26 PM
I was given it once or twice.  It's not really that cool.

Is Sally Struthers still really, really fat?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 27, 2010, 06:14:28 PM
Sure but she stays thin in reruns.

Does Ice spin off of asteroids?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 28, 2010, 11:42:26 AM
No, but The Jeffersons spun off of All in the Family.



Can Progressive really save me money on car insurance?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 30, 2010, 01:00:20 PM
No, but they can make flying saucer rentals cheap, cheap, cheap!


Exactly "why don't we do it in the road"


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on July 30, 2010, 04:17:03 PM
Because you'd get trampled by chickens crossing the road.

How you like me now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 30, 2010, 06:10:01 PM
Just fine. Pass me another.

Why is it Crisps in Britian and Chips here?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 30, 2010, 09:27:03 PM
Because the French will sue if they're called French Fries. 

Is your best friend really your one-boy cuddly toy, your up, your down, your pride and your joy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 30, 2010, 10:46:13 PM
Nope. I'm not really into boy-toys. It's just me and my shaaaaaaaadow, strolling down the aaavenue.



Who knows what evils lurk in the hearts of men?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 31, 2010, 09:39:07 AM
Women.



Why do fools fall in love?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 31, 2010, 04:45:06 PM
There's one born every minute.

Why did the cat come back?




Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on August 01, 2010, 06:24:38 PM
He heard the can opener.

Where the hell do they get the "Dr." in Dr. Pepper from?  And what does pepper have to do with a soda?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on August 02, 2010, 06:38:02 PM
Dr. Larry Eairhart, thats where the taste comes in. The pepper is to make you sneeze.


If Manos hands are fate, what are his other body parts?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on August 02, 2010, 09:02:59 PM
His feet are luck, his legs are charity, his arms are tyranny, his eyes are dreamy, his mouth is vulgarity, his nose is speed (because it runs, get it? Get it? huh?), his hair is recession, and his man part is, well, unfortunate.


Why is Winnie called "the Pooh"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on August 02, 2010, 09:23:41 PM
He's a coprophile.. his name got an "h" added to the end so kids wouldn't get suspicious.

What does SEGA stand for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on August 18, 2010, 10:33:10 PM
Satan Enjoys Grandma's Apples

Why do squids ride motorcycles?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on August 18, 2010, 11:07:01 PM
As a means of escape from the rock lobster.

If pigs fly, how do we catch them to get ham, bacon and sausage?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on August 19, 2010, 08:36:30 AM
One word...SKEET!

where is the worm in a wormhole?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on August 19, 2010, 12:42:20 PM
At the end of the Duniverse. (Oh sorry, that was bad wasn't it? :lookingup: :bouncegiggle:)

If Wendy's isn't fast food, what is it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on August 19, 2010, 05:42:37 PM
Colon cleanser.



If a paper boy flings newspapers and a monkey flings poo, what does a Highland Fling?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on August 24, 2010, 05:21:15 PM
Sheep.


Are Klingons really sticky?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: flackbait on August 24, 2010, 10:41:29 PM
Only after certain occasions

Why can't I have more bourbon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on August 24, 2010, 11:24:01 PM
Because the last time I let you have it it went all over my front.  :drink:

Genki desu ka?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on August 25, 2010, 02:55:46 PM
Bless you!

How do they get the caramilk inside the Caramilk bar?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on August 25, 2010, 08:19:03 PM
With tawdry promises of carnal (caramel?) pleasure.



What is the best time to pop a blister?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on August 25, 2010, 08:53:28 PM
When people are trying to eat.

If the world were flat, where would the edges be located?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Newt on August 26, 2010, 06:24:08 AM
Just beyond the rim of the turtle shell.


Do androids dream of electric sheep?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on August 26, 2010, 06:58:53 AM
Just beyond the rim of the turtle shell.

Do androids dream of electric sheep?

Yes, but those dreams do not compute and they are usually bahhhhhhhd dreams.  :wink:

When am I going to go on leave? 1 October 2010 seems so far away.....


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on October 01, 2010, 10:09:09 AM
Well, October 1st is here. Now's your time to shine.

Am I too young to fall in love?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on October 01, 2010, 05:47:09 PM
A fool only knows.

What's eating Gilbert Grape?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: flackbait on October 01, 2010, 08:31:27 PM
A giant talking pastrami sandwhich!

Whats the terminal velocity of a badger?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on October 01, 2010, 08:38:19 PM
Depends how hard you kick it.

What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on October 01, 2010, 09:53:31 PM
Walk to the freezer and get one. It's not that hard.




You and what army?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on October 03, 2010, 09:42:19 AM
THE ARMY OF DARKNESS!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Did I scare you?  :tongueout:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on October 06, 2010, 02:07:46 PM
No.. now, Michael Bolton's voice.. that's what REALLY scares me.  THE HORROR!!!

Why the hell is Crispin Glover so damn weird?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on January 18, 2011, 06:42:54 PM
It's because he's always high on pop rocks. Those things will kill 'ya.

Who holds the keys to the seven gates?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 18, 2011, 10:17:49 PM
The Key Master-- Rick Moranis.

Do sheep get turned on when you shear them?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: MrMari on January 19, 2011, 12:18:56 AM
Only if you look like Gene Wilder. (Sorry Allhallowsday)

What is the cut off age for a cougar?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 19, 2011, 02:30:06 PM
The day she finds a sugar daddy.


Why'd it have to be snakes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on January 19, 2011, 03:29:23 PM
Liquid was busy.

Snake? SNAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on January 19, 2011, 03:39:02 PM
I think he's dead.

Do you know the way to San Jose?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 19, 2011, 10:31:09 PM
Take a left at Albuquerque.


Is it starve a cold and feed a fever, or feed a cold and starve a fever?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 19, 2011, 10:33:30 PM
Feed a cold.  A fever won't let you keep food down.

Are you a bowler, and if so, how big are your balls?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: MrMari on January 19, 2011, 11:20:04 PM
No, but they are the size of church bells.

Spearmint or fruit?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 20, 2011, 12:18:56 AM
The fruit insulted me.  I'll spear the fruit.

Do flies make good pets?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on January 20, 2011, 09:20:55 AM
Only if properly house trained and taken for a walk three times a day.

Why is there no snow in Phoenix?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 20, 2011, 10:05:05 PM
'Cause it never snows in southern Arizona.  Seems I've often heard that kind of talk before.

Which kills quicker- chocolate to dogs or Alka-Seltzer to ducks?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on January 20, 2011, 10:49:38 PM
Feeding a horse to an old lady*.



HAve you ever seen a dream walking?




*KARMA to whomever gets this first.  :teddyr:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Newt on January 20, 2011, 11:03:49 PM
Well, I did.


Do you know why she swallowed the fly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 20, 2011, 11:41:48 PM
To feed the frog she swallowed earlier.

Has the phrase "Where's the beef?" been used in porn?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on January 21, 2011, 11:38:11 AM
The actresses constantly used that phrase when I did amateur porn in the 90s.

What religious figure would make the best pro wrestler?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 21, 2011, 12:13:19 PM
Friar Tuck

What's water really taste like?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on January 21, 2011, 01:53:33 PM
Thats depends on what fish it passed through first.


Whats the biggest problem monsters have when eating people?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 21, 2011, 03:08:49 PM
Bones get stuck in their teeth.

Why hasn't Super Mario Bros.: The Musical been made?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on January 21, 2011, 05:17:08 PM
Bob Hoskins has a sore thoat.

Why is technicolour 'glorious' ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 21, 2011, 06:38:05 PM
Watch porn in black and white and get back to me on that.

What is Doggett's problem?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on January 21, 2011, 06:53:53 PM
E's bloody British!  :buggedout:

Why is the sky blue but the air isn't?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 21, 2011, 10:37:06 PM
Well, if Blue Sunshine makes you insane, breathing blue air would really be a bad idea.

Since bringing back nostalgic things is all the rage these days, will they bring back New Coke?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 21, 2011, 10:38:19 PM
only after they bring back my brain!

Am I goin' mad?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: ImaginaryFoot on January 21, 2011, 10:57:25 PM
No, you're goin back to Cali.   Why did the pervert cross the road?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 21, 2011, 11:31:24 PM
to listen to Erasure.

Can it be true?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 22, 2011, 01:26:51 AM
Yes, Santa Claus is not real.

Are Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal back together again?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 22, 2011, 01:43:21 AM
Yes, but since Heath Ledger died it just doesn't have the same spark..

Why don't they put maple syrup on waffle cones?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 22, 2011, 07:13:08 PM
Same reason why the don't put waffle syrup on maple cones.

What is the point of Facebook?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: MrMari on January 22, 2011, 07:30:58 PM
To look up your ex-girlfriends and hope they got fat or had ugly kids.


Why are chicken and waffles such a nice combo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 22, 2011, 08:53:03 PM
Because a chicken looks like a waffle after being run over (while crossing the road) by an 18-wheeler with new tires.


How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a spiral-cut ham?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 22, 2011, 08:56:53 PM
382!

How cute should Derf's avatar be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on January 22, 2011, 09:04:06 PM
Just cute enough so that it doesn't distract us from his posts.

This has probably been asked before, but---lagomorphs: menace, or underutilized resource?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 22, 2011, 10:36:45 PM
neither, only used and abused underpants from South Africa.

Why did Robocop have a retarded cousin?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: ImaginaryFoot on January 23, 2011, 01:16:39 AM
so we could have the greatest bmovie of all time-RoboRetard.  Do these pants make my butt look big?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 23, 2011, 03:18:28 AM
No, but it gives you a tiny cameltoe.

Why is Justin Bieber aiming for older crowd now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 23, 2011, 08:38:22 AM
He wants to see cougar boobs.


Why does most healthy food taste like cardboard?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on January 23, 2011, 01:40:30 PM
All the ingredients were influenced by healthy pancakes left behind by mysterious aliens.

Why do you suppose no one has fell in and out of a dimensional porthole in front of a camera?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on January 23, 2011, 03:33:54 PM
Why do you suppose no one has fell in and out of a dimensional porthole in front of a camera?

Because it's hard to fall sideways into a ship.

Arrrr Billy! Have ye ever been to sea?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 23, 2011, 06:14:40 PM
No maty!  But I's knows who lives in de pineapple under the sea!

What does it take to be the best?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on January 23, 2011, 07:31:22 PM
Fur, claws, maybe horns.... Oh wait. That's what it takes to be a beast.

Is it really right? Is it really, really feelin' right?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 23, 2011, 07:44:55 PM
Stop talking to me that way, I'm not your mother.

Was Dr. Seuss on something when he wrote his books?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on January 23, 2011, 07:58:21 PM
A chair, I think.

Did you ever see a rose with a booger in its nose, down by the bay?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 23, 2011, 09:28:08 PM
No, but I did see Mama Cass with a mumu in her a$$, singing on a stage.



Who would win in a fight: The Incredible Hulk or Tinkerbelle?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 23, 2011, 10:06:46 PM
Tinkerbell.  She's small enough to fly up his butt and cause all kinds of intestinal damage with her magic.  Poor sap will be too sick to fight.

Are there any farts that smell good?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 23, 2011, 11:15:28 PM
Well, after the fight, Hulk's farts would probably smell like fairy flowers for a while.  :tongueout:


What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on January 24, 2011, 12:15:46 AM
A hippo!

What happens if you spend too much time on the internet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: 100Nights on January 24, 2011, 12:38:18 AM
i think you are the poster child for that one already

What is this kalidoscopic thing?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 24, 2011, 12:49:38 AM
Trevor's underpants?

What is Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" campaign about?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 24, 2011, 03:13:54 AM
She was a big fan of musical chairs.

How does too much sex make you blind?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on January 24, 2011, 07:42:24 AM
Trevor's underpants?

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

The pieces of them don't add up to a pretty picture at all.  :buggedout: :buggedout:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on January 24, 2011, 08:02:55 AM
How does too much sex make you blind?

Oh you don't want to find out.  It's very embarrassing explaining it to the emergency room staff.

Why is snow white?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 24, 2011, 08:19:36 AM
I don't know, ask the dwarfs.

Did Jack Tripper ever have a threesome with his roommates?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on January 24, 2011, 08:48:45 AM
Only when Larry and Mr Roper stayed over.

How many toads must a man wolf down, before you would call him an ambulance?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 24, 2011, 09:06:24 AM
One. That is, if the ambulance can get by the toad block.

Will The Twilight Saga: Eclipse win any Oscars?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: AndyC on January 24, 2011, 09:11:25 AM
I don't know about that, but Oscar the Grouch will probably get a lot of copies of Twilight: Eclipse.

How did that tune go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on January 24, 2011, 09:38:22 AM
Tah tah taaaah doobie doot doot

Mother of Mercy! Is this the end of Rico?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 24, 2011, 09:45:44 AM
Yes, but it's the beginning of Suave.

Who kicked your ass today again?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 24, 2011, 12:05:41 PM
Myself though getting my foot there is challenging in my old age.

What is that green crap growing in the fridge?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 24, 2011, 01:25:28 PM
That's mold growing on the brown crap you were saving to put in a paper bag and light on fire on your mother-in-law's front porch.



Who was that woman I saw you with last night?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 24, 2011, 03:38:11 PM
That was my sister.  There was.. um.. something in her eye..

Why do dogs smell each other's butts?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on January 24, 2011, 07:00:45 PM
To check for landmines.

Why did you kill Kenny?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on January 24, 2011, 07:08:25 PM
It's the bastard in me.

Can you imagine us together?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 24, 2011, 08:39:26 PM
Sorry, Rev, I just wanna be friends.



What did the nun say to the rabbi?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 24, 2011, 09:12:37 PM
Does it count as praying if my legs are in the air and I'm screaming, "Oh God"?

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 24, 2011, 11:14:34 PM
I don't do no favors for no Klondike Bars.

Has Camel Joe gotten emphysema yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: ImaginaryFoot on January 25, 2011, 01:30:26 AM
No, but he does have  a sore camel toe.                       Who the hell was in my room last night?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 25, 2011, 01:51:58 AM
NPD as usual.

Why did Oprah never mention her long-lost half-sister before?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 25, 2011, 08:56:22 AM
Do not question the Oprah. No one questions the Oprah and lives to tell the tale.



Why do they let idiots drive (usually in front of me)?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on January 25, 2011, 08:33:41 PM
Because I get paid $50 everytime an idiot gets their license.  :teddyr:

Why do you hear voices?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 25, 2011, 09:41:53 PM
Are you kidding? Have you seen the size of my ears?



How low can you go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 25, 2011, 09:44:33 PM
I've laughed at old ladies falling, thats pretty low.

Why do people lick ice cream?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on January 26, 2011, 07:13:19 AM
Otherwise their false teeth would get stuck in it: I have them, trust me, I know.  :buggedout:

When can I give DS and everyone else on this board a hug?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on January 26, 2011, 12:53:27 PM
When you clean your underwear.

Why is Toby Meguire making this face on my signature?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: RockMonster on January 26, 2011, 05:44:44 PM
The person next to him farted.

Where's my beer?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 26, 2011, 08:50:38 PM
In the refrigerator, and it'll stay there until you get off your lazy backside and get it yourself.




What do you do with a drunken tailor, early in the morning?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 26, 2011, 09:00:52 PM
make him sew his own underwear.

Can Bane kill Chuck Norris?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: ImaginaryFoot on January 26, 2011, 09:33:11 PM
Only Chuck Norris can kill Chuck Norris.   How do blind people know when they are done wiping?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on January 26, 2011, 09:40:13 PM
When theres no squishy feeling when they walk

Why do people pay for bottled water?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 26, 2011, 11:08:57 PM
Because they're too lazy to fill a bottle with water.
Why can't gum be a penny a ball anymore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 27, 2011, 12:58:45 AM
Because gum factories are lacking balls.

Why doesn't Heidi Klum use ‘Potty Words’ around her Kids?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on January 27, 2011, 09:17:34 AM
Because she can't; they were taken away after that Guitar Hero: World Tour commercial.

Where in the world is Bob Saget?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 27, 2011, 04:02:46 PM
Next to Jimmy Hoffa.



How big was Pee Wee's adventure?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 28, 2011, 01:06:41 AM
About 2.5 oz according to the Theater manager.

Kate Hudson thinks she's having a girl. What do you think?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 28, 2011, 03:56:42 AM
I think she's having a cow.

Is my chocolate in your peanut butter, or is your peanut butter in my chocolate?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on January 28, 2011, 08:55:18 AM
My foot is in your ass for making a Family Guy joke.

What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 28, 2011, 01:00:38 PM
Probably go to the store and buy one.


Do you like green eggs and ham?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 28, 2011, 01:22:55 PM
only in a boat, sitting next to a goat, with a gun in my hand, killing Sam I am!

Is it true- Is it going to happen- is the chocolate people going to invade earth?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 28, 2011, 02:49:17 PM
Hey!  I resent that racist remark!
(http://pol.moveon.org/images/candidates/obama.jpg)

Where the hell IS Waldo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 28, 2011, 05:11:45 PM
In Hawaii

why doesn't my vacuum work?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: ImaginaryFoot on January 28, 2011, 06:01:20 PM
Because you are trying to vaccum up Trevors Underpants.              Why do people stil eat lima beans?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 28, 2011, 11:52:01 PM
Because Soul Food rules! (Sorry if that wasn't a stupid answer. I love Lima Beans  :teddyr:)

Why did Charlie Sheen check in to rehab?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Used Meathook on January 29, 2011, 01:28:00 AM
...Because Vegas temporarily banned prostitution.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Used Meathook on January 29, 2011, 01:28:51 AM
Do the Blind Dead masturbate to braille?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on January 29, 2011, 10:57:53 AM
Only the deaf know.

Sandvich?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 29, 2011, 03:38:05 PM
Only vis mayonnaise und a pickel und sum musterd.

Do you care about MSG?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 29, 2011, 08:13:43 PM
Yes, I love the Microsoft Sucks Greatly club!

If a chicken and a half lays an egg in a half in a minute in a half, how long does it take it to get to Mexico?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: ImaginaryFoot on January 29, 2011, 11:18:51 PM
Depends on if i do not get pulled over for speeding.                Is it possible to play Motorhead too loud?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 30, 2011, 01:50:48 PM
only if Jack tells you to turn it up.

Can a Chihuahua kill someone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 30, 2011, 03:21:19 PM
Sure.  Them suckers can chew your ankles off!

When Snow White said "Someday my Prince will come", did she mean Prince Roger Nelson?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on January 30, 2011, 04:55:21 PM
No, just Prince.
(http://www.bolgernow.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/prince-purple-cu.jpg)

Where is the coldest place on earth?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 30, 2011, 07:36:10 PM
In Phoenix, Arizona, during the summer.

Who framed The Kool-Aid Man?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on January 30, 2011, 08:33:31 PM
The fine picture-framers at Hobby Lobby. 1/2 price today through Wednesday!



Can I have a cookie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 30, 2011, 09:34:13 PM
If you washed behind your ears this morning like a good boy.

Why is the Lone Ranger's horse called Silver?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: The Gravekeeper on January 31, 2011, 12:24:44 AM
If you washed behind your ears this morning like a good boy.

Why is the Lone Ranger's horse called Silver?

Because Silver would never be able to live up to the Lone Ranger's old horse, Gold.

Why is it so cold in here even though the heater's on?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on January 31, 2011, 07:39:49 PM
Because SOME people were born in a barn!

Why is it called French kissing, and not some other nationality?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 31, 2011, 09:11:05 PM
The same reason why French Fries are called French Fries: Product Value.

Is Doggett Cheating with Elvira with Belatrix LeStrange? :buggedout: :buggedout:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on January 31, 2011, 10:13:08 PM
No, he's cheating on Ann Wilson with Bebe Le Strange.

Why do men have nipples?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: MrMari on January 31, 2011, 11:19:50 PM
To prepare for old age when men get fat and grow moobs.

Do pretty girls fart and poo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 31, 2011, 11:52:05 PM
No, only the ugly ones do.

Are Prince William and Kate Middleton North America bound?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on January 31, 2011, 11:56:14 PM
Actually they're bound to North America; S&M is getting weirder these days...

What did the pig say to the horse after the farmer quit his job?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: ImaginaryFoot on February 01, 2011, 01:34:44 AM
Its Party Time!         How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 01, 2011, 01:41:43 AM
One limp twig.

New Kids On The Block member Jonathan Knight came out of the closet. Was it a walk-through closet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 01, 2011, 03:36:48 AM
Yes.  It leads to Narnia.

What does "pig in a poke" mean?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 01, 2011, 06:24:31 AM
Bacon for breakfast.




How now, brown cow?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 01, 2011, 02:33:13 PM
Pretty bad. The cow lives in Egypt.

Where's Waldo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 01, 2011, 03:11:18 PM
On the bus.  David Lee Roth told him to sit down.

If you had a hammer, a bell and a song, how would YOU use them?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on February 01, 2011, 04:34:42 PM
I would MacGyver up a Saw-like torture device.

If there are three apples in one basket, and I eat one, how many apples are left?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on February 01, 2011, 07:30:21 PM
Enough to grow fangs and retaliate by talking huge chomps out of 'ya.

Papers? Does everyone have papers?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Doggett on February 01, 2011, 07:36:03 PM
Because no one wants to wipe their butt on DVDs.


Why's Johnny Rotten ?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 02, 2011, 01:29:25 AM
Your answer is inside Johnny's mouth.

Why did Tom Hanks join Facebook?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 02, 2011, 03:29:41 AM
To post pictures of his "Big" "Bachelor Party" he had in "Philadelphia".

Can dogs look up?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 02, 2011, 08:45:19 AM
Yes. They do it all the time while humping your leg.

Why is Andrew Garfield in the "Spider-Man: REBOOT" but not Toby McGuire?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 02, 2011, 09:41:10 AM
Because Toby got the BOOT.

Mariah Carey is having twins. How was that possible?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 02, 2011, 08:42:30 PM
Well, when a man and woman love each other very much (or at least get very drunk together), they go into a dark bedroom (or an alley) and pray to the north star, which sends a stork 9 months later to leave a baby in a cabbage patch. The stork then e-mails the man and woman that the baby is there, at which point the woman gets all gooey and the man panics and runs for the hills, unless he is trapped by the woman and is forced to live with her forever.



Anyone for tennis?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 03, 2011, 08:49:00 AM
No. You don't want to see ME in shorts!

Batman: "WHERE IS HE?!"


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Used Meathook on February 03, 2011, 01:14:58 PM
Playing a game of Poker with Clayface and half of Motley Crue.

...How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was out of its mind from a 2-week meth binge?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on February 03, 2011, 06:04:19 PM
Seven.

Do I frighten you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 03, 2011, 06:58:07 PM
No.. Rosanne singing the national anthem has blocked out all other potential for fear for me.

If Ronald McDonald and The Burger King had a child, what would it look like?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 03, 2011, 07:06:56 PM
(http://witneyman.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/cesar-romero-joker.gif?w=320&h=240)

Who wears short shorts?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 03, 2011, 10:18:06 PM
Angus Young.

Were Frodo and Sam really lovers?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on February 03, 2011, 11:32:31 PM
Only in the extended movies.

Why are bad movies still being made?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 04, 2011, 12:44:05 AM
So badmovies.org won't die.

Who took my Nutella?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 04, 2011, 07:51:56 AM
I have it. I don't think you're going to want it back after what I did with it.

Where the hell did Tim Curry's career go?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 05, 2011, 03:48:04 AM
Down the storm drain where Pennywise hides.

Why are pubic hairs curly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 05, 2011, 08:47:51 PM
would you have it straight?

Is it hammer time?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on February 05, 2011, 09:13:34 PM
Only after a couple of screwdrivers.

Metro 911 - where is your emergency?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 05, 2011, 09:22:59 PM
In the bedroom-- my wife.. um.. won't let me pull out!  I'M STUCK!!!

If Cream of Sum Yung Gai was a real dish, who was the "gai" that made it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 05, 2011, 09:28:21 PM
isn't obvious, it's from an AARDVARK!

can I kill my English teacher yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 05, 2011, 09:42:20 PM
NO!!! English teachers are gifts from God. You should cherish every moment you spend with him/her. Unless he/she is one of the really bad teachers. Then, well, let's just say that I didn't see anything.



What is the difference between a pile of chicken manure and [insert the name of your least favorite political pundit here]?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 05, 2011, 10:03:43 PM
one's dumber than chicken s**t.

Is it Carnival season yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on February 06, 2011, 03:46:47 AM
No... it's duck season.

Can Godzilla and Gamera together beat Goku and Vegeta?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 06, 2011, 04:06:07 AM
At chess? Sure.

What's this super bowl they keep talking about?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 06, 2011, 05:59:08 AM
The God of porcelain that keeps your drunk vomit from going everywhere.  It's a lifesaver!

Green Bay or Pittsburgh?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Couchtr26 on February 06, 2011, 11:56:53 AM
Pittsburgh.  Steel beats cheese.

Why does Root Beer taste so good?

Had to edit head went somewhere else for a second. 


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 06, 2011, 06:14:13 PM
cuz Barq's has bite!

Can someone through me a King Cake?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 07, 2011, 02:34:54 PM
I would, but then I wouldn't have any.


Why must I, ruler of all I survey (i.e., one small bedroom, and then only when my wife isn't here  :tongueout:), be ill?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 07, 2011, 02:50:49 PM
Because you mocked Run DMC.
Why did the guy with a brand new key avoid the girl with a brand new pair of roller skates?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 08, 2011, 09:14:02 AM
Because the PMSing b*tch has wheels and he needs a place to lock himself in.

What is your name, quest, and the average speed of an unladen swallow?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 08, 2011, 12:18:28 PM
My name is Sir Derfalot. My quest is to seek nachos. The average speed of an unladen swallow is classified information, only available on a "need to know" basis, and you, my friend, do not "need to know."


When did it become fashionable to be fashionable?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 08, 2011, 01:15:38 PM
Let me ask Miss Etiquette for you.

'Glee' announced summer concert dates. How do you feel about that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 08, 2011, 03:06:38 PM
I feel like forcing a bowel movement, thanks.
Why do witches burn?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 08, 2011, 07:06:44 PM
Because they weigh the same as a duck! Err... No. That's Wrong. Screw it.

 If 42 means life, 69 means sex and 666 means evil, what numbers mean death, abstinence, and good?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on February 08, 2011, 07:37:49 PM
0, 11 & 777 cause 0 is the end of the countdown, 11's straight-laced and 777 is a step above.

Why do trolls riddle?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 08, 2011, 08:38:31 PM
To keep themselves distinct from the Goblins in Nilbog

Who wants to be a millionaire?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 08, 2011, 10:24:48 PM
Me, me and me!
How can you tell the difference between regular s**t and holy s**t?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 08, 2011, 10:28:50 PM
Holy sh!t rises to the top of the water (aka floaters)

What do chocolate eggs have to do with Easter?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 08, 2011, 10:33:33 PM
The easter bunny gives birth to them when he's feeling sick..
Why do people say "pass" the salt when you're just supposed to hand it to them?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 09, 2011, 08:59:07 AM
Because "Hand me the salt" takes more time to say. And people that don't get up and get it themselves are lazy to begin with.

Have you PAID the pied piper?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on February 09, 2011, 12:37:12 PM
No, moneybags retrorussell did.  :wink:

Has it ever snowed in South America?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 09, 2011, 12:46:03 PM
Only once when Pablo left the freezer open.

Should Miley Cyrus continue smoking salvia?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 09, 2011, 04:18:29 PM
No I think she (and Justin Bieber) should smoke mustard gas.

u liek mudkipz?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 09, 2011, 06:56:04 PM
Nein!  Herr Pikachu ist mein favorit! ...HILFE!  ICH BIN BLIND DE!!!
What's shaking?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on February 09, 2011, 07:05:06 PM
I'm freezing. Shut up.  :tongueout:

Can we ever get along?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 09, 2011, 07:41:26 PM
only if someone glues us together! :tongueout:
Is it time?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 09, 2011, 08:07:59 PM
No. It's PEANUT BUTTER JELLLY TIME!!

(http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f199/heckyeah81/banana_dancing.gif) (http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f199/heckyeah81/banana_dancing.gif) (http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f199/heckyeah81/banana_dancing.gif) (http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f199/heckyeah81/banana_dancing.gif) (http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f199/heckyeah81/banana_dancing.gif) (http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f199/heckyeah81/banana_dancing.gif)
I can haz cheezburger?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 09, 2011, 08:26:30 PM
No, sorry we're all outta burgers!

Bagels?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 09, 2011, 10:12:22 PM
Sorry, this is a kennel.  You want "beagles".

Where the hell did you get this jelly donut, Pyle?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 09, 2011, 10:19:57 PM
I'm sorry sarge...don't make scrub the latrine again!

Whats in your wallet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 09, 2011, 10:44:53 PM
A bunch of dead presidents.

Is Brandy a fine girl, would she make a good wife, and can her eyes steal a sailor from the sea?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 09, 2011, 10:46:48 PM
Only if her eyes can wield a harpoon

Whats up with whats going down?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 09, 2011, 10:52:14 PM
It has something to do with the spinning wheel turning round.  You should also ride a painted pony while it spins.

What's magic, and why shouldn't you believe it's not so?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 10, 2011, 08:51:04 AM
Magic n.' "A fictional mystical force", Magic v.' "When Criss Angel hurts himself".

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_FXmTwKZmSts/TPDrV7I901I/AAAAAAAAC9E/DchCVNNBlCE/s1600/monty-python-spanish-inquisition.jpg)

Did you expect that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 10, 2011, 02:49:57 PM
Of course. Who wouldn't.

Jennifer Hudson lost 80 pounds. In British currency?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on February 10, 2011, 03:09:41 PM
Yes, but she got it back and used it to buy chocolate.

Why is there air?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Fausto on February 10, 2011, 04:06:44 PM
Because your lungs need something to keep them occupied.

Who peed in your cereal?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 10, 2011, 07:02:23 PM
The Trix Rabbit.  I'll send the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee to sting him to death.

I can tell by the way you use your walk that you're a woman's man.  Do you have time to talk?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 11, 2011, 04:30:04 PM
The Trix Rabbit.  I'll send the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee to sting him to death.

I can tell by the way you use your walk that you're a woman's man.  Do you have time to talk?


Russell, That's Doggett in a wig...

(http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/25/l_09d5fd8a596d4aadbd805b0e731cd034.jpg)

If all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, what does that make him if it's all play and no work?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on February 11, 2011, 05:53:16 PM
It makes Jack a dull girl.

How many steps are there in the Statue of Liberty?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 11, 2011, 06:50:47 PM
The quarterback probably averages 4 or 5 steps backwards before faking a throwing motion, then handing off to the RB/TE/WR in motion, or maybe running with it himself.

What makes the Grand Canyon so grand?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 12, 2011, 12:30:36 AM
Hugh Grant

Do energy-efficient bulbs make people crazy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: MrMari on February 12, 2011, 08:46:59 AM
Yes, people screwing less often will make you crazy.

What is soul?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 12, 2011, 11:46:41 AM
The price you pay me to get ANYTHING in the world you want!

Is there something you'd like to sell your soul for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 12, 2011, 10:54:28 PM
A witty answer to that question

Why did they choose George Washington for the one dollar bill?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on February 13, 2011, 01:14:26 AM
Because Gandhi was unavailable.

What is π times ∞?

*Pi times infinity


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 13, 2011, 03:01:54 AM
Half of what it used to be.

What is Paris Hilton doing these days?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 13, 2011, 03:31:50 AM
Staying at the Hilton hotel in Paris.

Does Santa ever get drunk on the job?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 13, 2011, 10:07:53 PM
He did until he got busted for SUI (Selighing Under the Influence)

Why are all teen dramas the same?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 13, 2011, 11:01:07 PM
cuz they're all played by emo kids.

Gothic or lace?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 14, 2011, 01:55:26 AM
Rabies.

Should they kick Kim Kardashian off stage at every Concert she attends?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 14, 2011, 08:45:12 AM
No just make her go topless to boost sales.

Why isn't Heath Ledger in the new Batman movie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 14, 2011, 03:39:24 PM
Because the corpse with the Joker makeup would start to reek and make the other actors and actresses too sick to work.

Do you need a timeout?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 14, 2011, 07:15:05 PM
No, i need more thyme.

Berries or Cream?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 14, 2011, 10:35:04 PM
Cream.. Boston or whipped.

Why are sub sandwiches sometimes called Hero sandwiches?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 14, 2011, 10:48:44 PM
At night they foil crime in the digestive system. 

Is a picture really worth a thousand words?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 14, 2011, 10:53:17 PM
only if you blabber long enough.


what's the speed limit in space?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 15, 2011, 12:27:52 AM
65 light years per hour.  So watch your ludicrous speed!

What does "Adidas" stand for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on February 15, 2011, 10:13:07 AM
A D Is Dead As S!

Have you checked the children?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on February 15, 2011, 10:54:20 AM
Yep, and they still haven't hit the expiration date for a couple more days...

Did you ever consider that maybe Waldo and Carmen Sandiego really don't WANT to be found?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on February 15, 2011, 02:40:54 PM
Yep, and they still haven't hit the expiration date for a couple more days...

Did you ever consider that maybe Waldo and Carmen Sandiego really don't WANT to be found?
Yes.

Is there rest for the wicked ones?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on February 15, 2011, 02:49:49 PM
Yes. At the wicked hotel.

Will you tell me a bedtime story about a teenage girl that grows three heads, grows the wings of a bat while singing Row Row Your Boat?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 15, 2011, 06:47:32 PM
Sure.  Once upon a time there was a teenaged girl who grew three heads and the wings of a bat while she sang Row Row Row Your Boat.  Then Scorpio from Dirty Harry shot her for stealing his song.

Where's Poppa?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 15, 2011, 06:49:36 PM
in the bathroom, giving a dump.

Flavor of the day?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on February 16, 2011, 02:42:44 AM
Stomach acid.

Has anyone seen my nose goblins?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 16, 2011, 02:51:56 AM
Yes, they are behind the ass trolls.

Johnny Depp doesn't want his kids in showbiz. Why?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 16, 2011, 08:06:17 AM
Because they'll end up in silly pirate movies.

Why did they start calling vibrators "personal massagers"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on February 16, 2011, 10:32:18 AM
Before they started calling them "Lightsabers", but after they started calling them "The Battery Operated Boyfriend"!

If $10 can buy you a meal at McDonalds, what can $20 buy you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on February 16, 2011, 03:35:36 PM
Two meals!.....Or, a better fast food place than McDonald's.

Which is funnier, bananas or cheese?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 16, 2011, 06:59:22 PM
Bananas, because they're slightly phallic.

What's your ancient Chinese secret?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on February 16, 2011, 08:25:35 PM
My family was in league with Ching-Chong-Ding-Dong.

Who comes into my house of pain?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Fausto on February 16, 2011, 08:28:52 PM
A masochist, and he's very disappointed.

Who do you think you are?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 16, 2011, 08:52:50 PM
Mister Bigstuff

Do you have that money you owe me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 16, 2011, 10:37:18 PM
Here's a shiny new Lincoln.
(http://images.chron.com/blogs/keepthefaith/penny.jpg)
Don't spend it all in one place.

Do you love to singa about the moona and the Junea and the Springa?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 16, 2011, 10:42:36 PM
no, only the Badmovies.orga  :tongueout:
Do you know the Doughman, the one who makes doughnuts for all of us on here?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 16, 2011, 11:18:47 PM
No, but I know the muffin man. He lives on Drury Lane. He's nucking futs.



How many dust bunnies does it take to make one chocolate Easter bunny?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on February 16, 2011, 11:33:10 PM
About as many licks as it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop!

So....Just what IS up, doc?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 17, 2011, 01:35:47 AM
Carrots.

Justin Bieber is against loveless sex and abortion. How will his Beliebers react to that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 17, 2011, 08:52:21 AM
It doesn't matter. They're all virgins.

HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on February 17, 2011, 09:56:18 AM
Too many cherrys jubilee in the elevator?

What really killed the beast, Mr. Denham?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on February 17, 2011, 06:05:57 PM
Fear of the Unknown.

Why can't you get a bologna sub sandwich at Subway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 17, 2011, 07:18:47 PM
Because Oscar Mayer had his way with their b-o-l-o-g-n-a. (spooged in it)

How often does Santa get some tail from Mrs. Claus?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 17, 2011, 07:24:20 PM
only when Mrs. Claus isn't doing it with Rudolf and the Darksider isn't shooting their house up with an AK-47.

I can tell you're a sea man. tell me, just how many times has The Lochness Monster attacked you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on February 17, 2011, 10:23:56 PM
Once with pitchforks, twice with deadly napalm and about seventy-two times with crappy radio-friendly music.

What's the REAL tragedy in Oedipus The King?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on February 17, 2011, 10:42:38 PM
That Jerry Lewis never got the chance to show what he could do with the role.

Was Martin really a vampire?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 18, 2011, 08:14:28 AM
No. That was just Duke Mitchell's PR people trying to make people believe that Dean Martin sucked.



How could you?!?!?!?!?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 18, 2011, 08:48:24 AM
Hey! She was hot! I don't CARE if it was your mother!

Do you feel lucky, punk?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on February 18, 2011, 10:24:41 AM
Well, I broke a mirror yesterday, so no.

Is that a bird or a plane?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 18, 2011, 12:06:46 PM
Sally Field

Does female sexuality need to be fixed?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 18, 2011, 03:23:59 PM
No, just female animals.

Is Andy Capp Al's brother?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on February 18, 2011, 06:34:35 PM
No, a clone made of Smoo.

What did Bruce the shark think when he ate Robert Shaw?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 18, 2011, 06:42:16 PM
Needs salt. (spits salt water on him)  Much better!

Who can it be now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on February 18, 2011, 07:18:41 PM
Perhaps it's a Jehovah's Witness with a caffeine problem.

Which way to America?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 18, 2011, 11:55:32 PM
Just follow the trail of BK leftovers.

Is trendy East Berlin losing its edge?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 19, 2011, 12:01:38 AM
no, they just need to switch to Gillette.

If I pushed a clone of someone off a cliff, is it murder?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 19, 2011, 12:13:11 AM
Perhaps double murder, if the original can feel what the clone feels.

Has anyone made a porn version of Gilligan's Island?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 19, 2011, 01:04:21 AM
Yes. It's called Jurassic Park: The Lost World.

Should breast-feeding supplies be listed as medical expenses?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 19, 2011, 01:44:11 AM
no, gov't supplied formula caused a severe case of Smallpox.

is THIS a hard question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 19, 2011, 03:03:18 AM
No, you're just happy to see me.

Are Batman and Robin really lovers?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 19, 2011, 11:07:21 AM
I believe this will answer the question:
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/77/Batbed.png)

Is Superman really in love with Wonder Woman?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on February 22, 2011, 04:58:39 PM
That would be quite a STRETCH....oh wait...that's Mr. Fantastic?

Why Lisa, why?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on February 22, 2011, 05:49:19 PM
Because he didn't get the promotion.  BUT, he did not hit her.  He did not.  That's bulls*%t, he did not.  Oh, hi Mark.

Why do birds suddenly appear anytime I am near?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 22, 2011, 06:43:00 PM
They like s****ing on you.  :tongueout:
Do Twizzlers really make your mouth happy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 22, 2011, 07:56:17 PM
no, they get me dizzy.

Can this be a boring question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 22, 2011, 09:17:57 PM
Yawn...what were you asking?

Where the hell have you been?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 22, 2011, 09:55:59 PM
digging a hole to dump the dead bodies- i mean, out.......


what would YOU do for a kick in the groin?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 23, 2011, 08:57:36 AM
Kick you back and [BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP] your body with a [BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]!

Why is Anne Hathaway the new Cat Woman?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on February 23, 2011, 10:08:00 AM
Cause Lindsay Lohan is too much of an insurance risk.

How much is that doggie in the window?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on February 23, 2011, 01:25:27 PM
About 2 kilograms.

Have you ever wanted to hide under a blanket, and stay there forever?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on February 23, 2011, 01:35:45 PM
Yes everytime I see Roseanne Barr or Rosie O' Donnell.

Where do the UFOs disappear to when they zip away?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 23, 2011, 02:32:23 PM
Area 51.

With nostalgia all the rage these days, why don't they bring back the McDLT?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on February 23, 2011, 07:09:19 PM
Fear of Cannibalisim?

How did PETA feel about the burning of the man eating tree monsters in THE NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 23, 2011, 07:33:42 PM
they were sad because the socks got burnt.

Do you want it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on February 23, 2011, 07:48:20 PM
If "it"'s what I think "it" is, then yes... but not from you.

Can a movie simultaneously be the best ever made, and the worst?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on February 23, 2011, 08:00:27 PM
Yes-it's called PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.

Why is the sky blue-and the air isnt?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 24, 2011, 01:30:26 AM
Because the Na'vi got first dips on blue lungs.

What does C3PO stand for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 24, 2011, 08:19:35 AM
"Can Three People have an Orgy?" Little Anakin had a dirty mind.


Does doing that make you happy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 24, 2011, 08:52:14 AM
No. I'm only happy when I'm killing.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 24, 2011, 11:55:00 PM
Bugs Bunny.. he's jealous because of Jessica.

Did you remember to wash behind your ears?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 25, 2011, 12:24:19 AM
No, but I did remember to shampoo my nose hair.

Alanis Morissette named her first born Ever Imre. What's a proper name for her next kid?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 25, 2011, 04:36:43 AM
Son of a b**ch.
If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 25, 2011, 08:25:52 AM
Bullfrogs.



Where, oh where has my little dog gone? Oh where, oh where can he be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 25, 2011, 09:47:38 AM
I have him. If you ever want to see him again send $5,000 to P.O. Box 3874. If you tell the police I'll send you your Dog's limbs to you in the mail one by one.

How is a raven like a writing desk?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 25, 2011, 09:53:08 AM
You're better off asking a crow.

Do ghosts fart?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on February 25, 2011, 12:41:44 PM
Yes, out of their BOOty...

Who let the dogs out?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 25, 2011, 02:07:25 PM
I did. I'm holding THOSE dogs hostage too!

WHY ARE YOU TEARING ME APART, LISA?!?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on February 25, 2011, 03:43:56 PM
Because I'm an alien, and while you're at school, I'm gonna shed my human skin and breathe dryer lint!

Why does my dead hamster jack off to Hamtaro?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: The Burgomaster on February 25, 2011, 04:32:34 PM
Because you won't give him any real lovin'.

Why do vampires and werewolves always seem to live in the same village?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 25, 2011, 06:58:36 PM
They both like to feed on the village people. (Y-M-C-A, it's fun to stay at the, Y-M-C-A..)
Can you do the Donkey Kong?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 25, 2011, 07:57:55 PM
*Crushes Russell with a barrel* Why yes I can!

Does Justin Bieber have a penis?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on February 25, 2011, 11:57:15 PM
No, but my penis has a Justin Bieber.  I'm having it removed next Tuesday.  Just an outpatient thing.

Does my butt look big in these pants?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 26, 2011, 01:48:48 AM
We had that very same question before, so my answer shall be the same once again  :smile:

No, but it makes your camel toe tiny.

Will jogging hurt an obese person's joints?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 26, 2011, 07:54:14 AM
Not as much as a morbidly obese person jogging shirtless will hurt everyone else's eyes.



May I go to the movies this afternoon? Please?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 26, 2011, 08:57:27 AM
only after you eat your vegetables.

I found something. what should i do with it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 26, 2011, 04:20:49 PM
Kick it.  If it doesn't react or smell tasty it's dead or not worth your time.

Are you a Pepper too?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 26, 2011, 04:29:49 PM
Nope, but I hope to be a Pepper Three.

What did Miggs say to you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 26, 2011, 04:36:46 PM
Miggs is my pet chinchilla.  He can't talk.
Can I use your bathroom?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on February 26, 2011, 05:14:00 PM
Down the hall and to your right. Don't mind the mess.

Can Dennis come with us?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 26, 2011, 07:27:38 PM
As long as Mr. Wilson isn't coming.

Did you look both ways before crossing the street?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 26, 2011, 07:36:34 PM
yes, plus looking up and down and diagonal. 

just how was someone able to get 21 mil on Robot Unicorn Attack?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 26, 2011, 11:17:24 PM
I strongly suspect it was by playing it for a looooooong time.



How creepy is Clint Howard?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 27, 2011, 06:44:14 AM
He's so creepy he studies Satanism with his computer.

Where did you sleep last night?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 27, 2011, 01:54:01 PM
Under my bed.

Tannis, anyone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 27, 2011, 04:14:04 PM
no, Tennis please.

What....about....the....bus...?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 27, 2011, 04:39:29 PM
It's leaving right now.  Go chase it!  Good boy!  Yesyouisagoodboy!

Are there still Druids wandering around these days?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on February 27, 2011, 11:01:24 PM
Nope, they've all converted to pastafarianism.


We're the bait?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 28, 2011, 12:05:19 AM
I ate it.

Why the Hell didn't INCEPTION win the Best Motion Picture Award?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 28, 2011, 12:34:00 AM
Same could be said about Toy Story 3  :bluesad:

What's next for the Tea Party?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 28, 2011, 12:52:11 AM
Biscuits and gravey.

Should have the King's Speech won all of the Oscars?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 28, 2011, 01:34:08 AM
No, they didn't prepare an acceptance speech.

Goodnight.. You want the couch or the floor?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on February 28, 2011, 08:15:54 AM
I'll take the couch. It goes with my curtains. Besides, the floor would be hard to move.




Which is better: peanut butter and boogers or ranch dressing and snot balls?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 28, 2011, 08:28:02 AM
I personally mix them all together and they taste just fine

Where is my pen?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on February 28, 2011, 09:00:15 AM
I have it. If you want it back send $5.00 to PO Box..... What am I doing?


QUESTION STATED IN PICTURE


(http://i.imgur.com/nddMR.jpg)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on February 28, 2011, 11:36:39 AM
^ It should be out of my digestive system in 24 hours.

Where do we go from here?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 28, 2011, 01:15:41 PM
we go to the restaurant at the end of the universe, I heard their shakes are the best.

should everyone come down to New Orleans for Carnival Season?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on February 28, 2011, 01:19:21 PM
No because everyone came down with the flu.

Are Tattoos OK With Psoriasis?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 28, 2011, 07:00:48 PM
As long as the tattoo says "Gimme some skin!.. Cuz mine sucks".

Why do some people flush before they finished peeing?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on March 01, 2011, 11:47:34 AM
To avoid overfilling the bowl

Where were you when I need you most?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 01, 2011, 01:52:14 PM
Dealing with MY problems! I don't care about you and YOUR problems!

Excuse me sir, do you have any Gray Poupon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 01, 2011, 03:31:20 PM
No, but I have grey poop.

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be doing?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 02, 2011, 08:09:26 AM
Probably living in an East Texas nursing home, battling supernatural creatures alongside Elvis.



Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Mr. DS on March 02, 2011, 08:39:53 AM
These guys...
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/81/US_Army_CID_raid.jpg)

Why does Easter always seem to fall on a different day?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 02, 2011, 08:46:48 AM
The Easter bunny is a drunken bum who decided Easter is whenever he feels like doing it. Tell your kids that the Easter bunny is an a***ole.

BUT WHAT ABOUT BOOMER?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 02, 2011, 03:12:52 PM
Well, since Carson Palmer doesn't seem happy in Cincinnati they might be open to Boomer coming back.

Is that Santa kissing my dad?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on March 02, 2011, 03:59:07 PM
No, your dad's kissing Santa Claus.

Which tastes better, breast milk or ice cream cake?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Fausto on March 04, 2011, 08:12:30 PM
Depends on the owner of said breast.

Why does Ann Coulter have an adam's apple?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on March 04, 2011, 08:59:30 PM
Because it's a man baby!

Where does the world begin?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on March 05, 2011, 03:12:36 AM
At north by northwest avenue.

Why does my porcupine delight in eating jewelry?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 05, 2011, 03:19:27 AM
Must be the Vitamin Bs

Britney Spears raved about Jason Trawick's 'ripped abs'. Would she rave about yours?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 05, 2011, 04:14:54 AM
Only if she was into "rippled" abs (ripples of flab).
Double quarter pounder with cheese or Big 'N Tasty?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 05, 2011, 08:40:31 AM
no, a triple quarter pounder from Wendy's.

`el no hable Espanol?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 05, 2011, 12:42:48 PM
Nope. I'm not an en-hable-er.



Why can't we all just get along, little dogie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 05, 2011, 04:53:00 PM
'Cause IIIIIIIIIIII hates that rabbit!

Fiddle Faddle or Crunch 'N Munch?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on March 07, 2011, 10:54:48 AM
I prefer Crunch N Munch, cause I tend to pull a hamstring trying to attempt the Fiddle Faddle (but, I try to occasionally throw it in for my wife's sake).

Why do people feel the need to talk about the weather when they're amongst strangers in a public place?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on March 07, 2011, 11:01:41 AM
Because talking about the weather when you're by yourself is kind of depressing.

Why Crow?  WHY??


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 07, 2011, 05:56:33 PM
Because I'm tired of you saying How Now Brown Cow! :hatred: :wink:

Where's my Queso?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 07, 2011, 06:42:14 PM
Right here. You can't have it back.


What the hell are you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 07, 2011, 07:53:53 PM
Just your friendly neighborhood furry!

Will you answer this question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 07, 2011, 10:21:23 PM
If you supply me with food.

Why do you get so few mozzarella sticks for such an expensive price?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 08, 2011, 03:21:10 PM
cuz I ate 64,000 orders of them!

Where's Waldo and Carmen San Diego?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on March 08, 2011, 03:25:58 PM
In Atlantis playing poker with Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart.*

What is your number one visited website?


*Meant as a joke only, and no offense to anyone was intended.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on March 08, 2011, 03:44:27 PM
It used to be this one before your highly offensive comment about Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart!   :tongueout:

Can I borrow 5 bucks please?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 08, 2011, 03:52:19 PM
only if you give me 5.50 plus a T-bone Steak- Well done, please.

Is there another hoedown on the way?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 08, 2011, 04:08:19 PM
I took down your sister, does that count? (Just a joke)

What do you know?! Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 08, 2011, 06:46:14 PM
Of course I have.  I am a bad movie lover, after all.

Do animals feel guilty when their farts really stink?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 08, 2011, 08:35:45 PM
Only the females. The males start strutting. Unless they're snakes.



Do snakes fart?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 09, 2011, 08:25:16 AM
Yes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msUGvc6Cia0






(http://angrywhitedude.com/wp-content/uploads2/2010/05/are-you-wizard.jpg)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 09, 2011, 02:03:37 PM
no, I'm a:
(http://i.neoseeker.com/mgv/436139-Triforce%20of%20Wisdom/139/15/lizard_display.jpg)


are YOU the one who killed Kenny?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on March 09, 2011, 03:41:40 PM
Nope, my parents were married when I was born...

Donde esta la biblioteca?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 09, 2011, 05:16:13 PM
en la escuela

Donde esta mis pantalone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 09, 2011, 10:46:51 PM
ENGLISH MOTHER f**kER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

What happened to the little kid from Two and A Half Men after Charlie Sheen ended the show?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on March 09, 2011, 11:53:11 PM
He is now working for pennies a day in a sweatshop in China.

How many girlfriends does Hugh Hefner have?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 10, 2011, 02:51:03 AM
My guess, none.

Can a nerve stimulator stop my back pain?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 10, 2011, 03:34:50 PM
It depends on the cause. If you are experiencing simple muscle fatigue or vertebral displacement, then yes, a nerve stimulator may help with the pain. If you have been stepped on by a giant monster on a rampage, then not so much. If your pain is caused by your wife who simply will not get off your back, then, again, a nerve stimulator will be of no use.



Why is it never lupus?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 11, 2011, 08:57:26 AM
Because House says it's not Lupus and House is always right.

Where the hell is Solid Snake?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 11, 2011, 10:24:49 AM
In Liquid Ocelots stomach.

I know I told you where babies come from, but did I ever mention where they come out?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 11, 2011, 07:09:27 PM
A window.  Watch ANDY WARHOL'S BAD for an example.

I wonder.. who's crying now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on March 11, 2011, 07:18:23 PM
Jesus  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_wept).

Is childhood obesity such a big problem as people make it out to be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on March 12, 2011, 03:34:09 AM
Not as big as the problem with owners giving their cats cigarettes.

Why don't you people worship Donald Duck like you should?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 12, 2011, 02:55:13 PM
Because it isn't duck season yet.

Why is there the jerk who always curse for no reason?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 12, 2011, 03:34:14 PM
Because the gypsy does it with reason.

Why do blessings wear disguises?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 12, 2011, 03:35:53 PM
Because they're hideously ugly! :buggedout: :buggedout:
 Who can answer this?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on March 12, 2011, 04:34:24 PM
Frank Tashlin can!

Why are the camels coming to your house?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 12, 2011, 05:36:53 PM
Not sure.  Neither my brother nor I smoke.

Where exactly IS Surf City?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 13, 2011, 09:46:02 AM
Next to Wipeout Beach.


Here's my question:  :question: :question:?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 13, 2011, 09:39:01 PM
My answer:  :bouncegiggle: :buggedout: :hot: :cheers:

Do trees get back up after they've fallen down?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 14, 2011, 07:47:45 AM
Yes. Then they flood Isengard in revenge.

What manner of fiend are you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 14, 2011, 01:26:28 PM
If you'll loan me $5, I'll be your bestest fiend in the whole world.




May I have this dance?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on March 14, 2011, 04:32:32 PM
Yes, but it's a disco, so I don't know if you'd want it. :wink: :tongueout:

If today is Pi day, is there ever going to be a Pie day?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 14, 2011, 05:51:21 PM
Wednesday.  That's "hump" day.  You can have your "pie" that day.

Why was Yosemite Sam such a d*ck?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 15, 2011, 07:41:19 AM
His pants are WAAAAAY too tight! It makes him grumpy.

Do I need to construct additional pylons?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on March 15, 2011, 08:11:59 AM
You should construct a MEGApylon so that he can fight Sharktopus!

Who do I think I am?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 15, 2011, 08:44:56 AM
I think you're the reincarnated Dalai Alpaca (sorry, the Dalai Lama is still alive). Do I win a prize?



Where can a guy get a good sandwich in this town?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 16, 2011, 07:59:21 AM
Downtown in an old, decrepit occult shop. Beware though, every sandwich you buy comes with a terrible curse.

NOOOO! What did they do to you?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 16, 2011, 11:10:51 AM
Well, I went into this occult shop and ordered a sandwich. When I came out, I looked like this.



Which way did he go? Which way did he go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 16, 2011, 01:55:33 PM
Into my arms, George.  Where I will hug you and squeeze you and never let you go.

Do bakers feel unlucky due to a baker's dozen being 13?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 16, 2011, 02:05:38 PM
Only if they are superstitious  :wink:

Do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on March 16, 2011, 02:07:50 PM
The turnip sticking out of your left nostril says yes to me.

Are there some questions that just don't have an answer?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on March 16, 2011, 04:39:05 PM
I would say that YOUR question has no answer, but then that would BE an answer, so I think I may have just blown my own mind...

Anyone know a cure for a blown mind?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 16, 2011, 05:32:06 PM
watch Manos.

When can I get into jail?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 16, 2011, 05:41:30 PM
As soon as you shoot everybody in sight.

Will they ever make New Pepsi?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 16, 2011, 05:43:15 PM
I think they'll call it Neo Pepsi!

Why is carnival season over? :bluesad:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on March 17, 2011, 11:44:25 AM
In my head, it's ALWAYS carnival season, so it's NEVER over...

Why did I feel the need, in my answer above, to basically say the same thing twice?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 17, 2011, 01:09:03 PM
Because you fail and ask questions repeatedly.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on March 17, 2011, 01:29:01 PM
The LAPD of course.

Am I the next American Idol?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 17, 2011, 05:38:46 PM
Only the metal gods know.

What REALLY killed the dinosaurs?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on March 17, 2011, 08:44:34 PM
Time Travel.

How many dimensions are there REALLY?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 17, 2011, 09:29:56 PM
5.. courtesy of Marilyn McCoo.

Do blind people feel embarrassed when they say, "I see.."


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 17, 2011, 09:54:01 PM
no, they see green, blue, and red line movements then.

What really sunk the Titanic?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 17, 2011, 09:57:02 PM
The talking animals on board.

Are you trying to seduce me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 17, 2011, 10:40:58 PM
In a slutry voice Why yes i am, big boy..  I just grossed myself out :tongueout: :lookingup:

Why aren't you under the podium?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 19, 2011, 09:30:05 AM
One of Bill Clinton's interns got there first.

If a vegan became a zombie, would he be conflicted about his situation?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 21, 2011, 07:57:03 AM
No. He would just eat... GRRRAAAAAIIINNNZZZ! HAHA! Umm.... Yeah... I'll go hit myself for making that joke.

Can I let Dave do that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 21, 2011, 01:59:39 PM
Of course!  Him and Sam are SOUL MEN!

Do women d**che much anymore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 21, 2011, 05:12:24 PM
Nah. But they still nag as always.  :teddyr: :tongueout:

Are you TRYING to p**s off the volcano god?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 21, 2011, 05:18:56 PM
NO, I'm just trying to burn the dead bodies!
Excuse me sir, do you have any Gray Pupon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 21, 2011, 05:36:42 PM
Someone did this already.. I answered it before and I'll answer it the same way.

No, but I have grey poop.
Has anyone seen Andre Ware lately?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Killer Bees on March 22, 2011, 06:33:06 AM
I probably would say it was me if I knew who that was :buggeout:
If you started at the bottom of a mine and worked your way to the top, wouldn't you still be on the ground?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 22, 2011, 01:59:04 PM
(Andre Ware: Former Quarterback in National Football League, and a terrible one at that)
Not only would you still be on the ground, you'd need a shower in the worst way.

What's the best way to start a fire in your fireplace?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on March 22, 2011, 02:11:53 PM
Getting someone else to do it!

Which is better, being an introvert or an extrovert?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 22, 2011, 06:06:07 PM
Neither; being a pervert is much more fun.

Did you just fart?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 22, 2011, 08:00:42 PM
Of course. If you don't believe me, just look at the trail of dead people.

Is someone calling me?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 22, 2011, 09:34:19 PM
yeah, it's me- Where's the-(DWV cuts me off)

Can you come out?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 23, 2011, 02:37:46 AM
As soon as its dark, yes.

Why is the answer blowing in the wind?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 23, 2011, 02:52:58 AM
Because the answer is a wind sock.

Mars or Snickers?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 23, 2011, 07:44:41 AM
Butterfingers.

Will Duke Nukem Forever come out.... Ever?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 23, 2011, 01:10:23 PM
When the sun ceases to shine, the moon turns blood red and I become the president, THEN it shall be released.

Did you feed the mogwai after midnight?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 23, 2011, 01:28:33 PM
Yes, to my German Shepherd. He was feeling peckish.



Who would win in a fight: a giant radioactive koi or a plate of Spam?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 23, 2011, 01:59:40 PM
Spam spam spam the winner is Spam spam spam nothing but spam spam spam..

Wanna play Mad Libs?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 23, 2011, 08:36:09 PM
NEINE!!!

Why do pretzels hate dolphins?  :bluesad:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 23, 2011, 09:18:37 PM
Because I like pretzels, and I'm a Bills fan.

Did Papa Smurf get it on with Smurfette?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 24, 2011, 07:07:30 AM
Let's just say the phrase, "Who's your daddy?" was used repeatedly and inappropriately.




Why do superheroes feel the need to wear their underwear outside their tights?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 24, 2011, 07:22:57 AM
Superhero skit marks are great against bullets.

What kind of person marries someone they don't know?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 25, 2011, 06:35:20 AM
A smart person.

What the...WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 25, 2011, 12:58:24 PM
Andrew...but he's well armed so, shussssh...

Why did Godzilla cross the ocean?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on March 25, 2011, 02:00:27 PM
To battle King Kong on the other side.

Where do UFOs disappear to?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on March 25, 2011, 02:13:51 PM
Townsville. The Powerpuff Girls always take care of dem UFOs for us afterwards.

Which is better: Sex or pizza?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 25, 2011, 02:15:46 PM
Depends on the toppings.

Why do they call the beetle Spanish fly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 25, 2011, 02:56:22 PM
Because Spanish Inquisition was already taken. You didn't expect that, did you?!?!?



Why does no one expect the Spanish Inquisition?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 25, 2011, 05:49:50 PM
Because Michael Palin, Terry Jones and Graham Chapman are instigating it.

My genitalia is growing hair.  Is that normal?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Archivist on March 26, 2011, 03:44:47 AM
Genital hair marks the coming of age, an oft-used theme in Bad Teen Movies.  Wanna star in a Bad Teen Movie?

Why doesn't Rhett Butler give a damn?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 26, 2011, 11:01:16 AM
Because the situation doesn't involve talking warthogs.

Are you a nightchild?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on March 26, 2011, 11:06:40 AM
No, I'm a shortly-after-dusk-but-before-it's-actually-night child.

Where did I put my damn keys?!?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 26, 2011, 11:22:10 AM
In Godzillas nostril.

I'm boiling a roast. How hot and wet do you like it?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 26, 2011, 05:52:20 PM
......
Um....
......
Oh, a ROAST!  He he he.. (whew)  Piping hot with just a drizzle of garlic butter.  (nice save!)

Which is better: Seinfeld (the series) or Steinfeld's (the pickle)?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 27, 2011, 09:45:59 PM
Steinfeld's- They make my girlfriends happy and full- Not like that (Pervs :tongueout:)

when's lunch?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 28, 2011, 01:57:13 AM
About 10-15 minutes after you give me $20 to go down the street and pick it up.

If you found a magic lamp, what would be your first wish?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 28, 2011, 06:43:01 AM
To be Sober.

Would you like some more...PANcakes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 28, 2011, 07:02:59 AM
No thanks, my trashcan is full.

Do you like movies about gladiators?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 28, 2011, 09:02:08 AM
Only if Steve Reeves is throwing thrones.

Do you know the way to San Jose?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on March 28, 2011, 10:10:40 AM
Yep, you just gotta take a left turn at Albuquerque.

Did you ever see that movie?  The one that starred that guy?  And it also had that one chick in it?  I think the plot involved that thing?  But then this thing happened during that one scene?  Do you know what I'm talking about?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on March 28, 2011, 03:58:59 PM
A - Hell no.  :bouncegiggle: :twirl: :bouncegiggle:

Q - What goes around the world but stays in a corner?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 28, 2011, 05:07:56 PM
a tv


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on March 28, 2011, 08:53:17 PM
a tv


Did El Toro Loco just decree the game should end?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 28, 2011, 09:17:39 PM
a tv


Did El Toro Loco just decree the game should end?
no, he was in a rush and forgot his question :lookingup:

what was my question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 29, 2011, 07:13:06 AM
You asked if waffles could do the macarena.

Well, can they do the macarena?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 29, 2011, 07:27:40 AM
no, they can only be with the Macadamia
Is the answer 42?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 29, 2011, 08:30:05 AM
Yes. Its the number of diodes down my left side.


How many heads can a Woody Woodpecker peck if a Woody Woodpecker can peck heads?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 29, 2011, 03:20:22 PM
42. It really is the answer.



If roses are red and violets are blue, what color are slugs?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on March 29, 2011, 04:23:37 PM
A - Multi Colored.

Q - Which planet is Gigan from?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 29, 2011, 04:45:00 PM
The planet of prehistoric women cyborgs. The BIG ones.


How do you tell the sex of a Kaiju?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: crackers on March 29, 2011, 05:23:01 PM
A. Blow between it's legs.

Q. Where is Rutger Hauer?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 29, 2011, 05:46:18 PM
Following C. Thomas Howell.

What do you dunk your cookies in?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 29, 2011, 06:13:38 PM
In the spoiled milk!

Is it a Tumah?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on March 29, 2011, 06:37:04 PM
A. IT'S NOT A TUMAH!

Q. What color is Gamera's eyes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 30, 2011, 01:30:02 AM
Bright blue neon with a purple outline.

What exactly is a "taint-licker"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on March 30, 2011, 01:49:48 PM
It's a little mole that's been known to lick taints.

Who dares disturb me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 30, 2011, 05:51:20 PM
Miley Cyrus. I know she disturbs me.



You call that art?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 30, 2011, 06:18:49 PM
I call that Bob!

Do dogs chase cats?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on March 30, 2011, 07:14:35 PM
A. No, they cook lunch for them.

Q. What is the Big Bang Theory?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on March 30, 2011, 07:36:39 PM
The universe starting forming after a big bang! 

Yeesh that sounds kinda dirty don't it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 31, 2011, 12:47:07 AM
Yeah.. I'm telling my mom you think that way about her!

What is an eminence front?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 31, 2011, 06:05:19 PM
the combination of Evanescense with Eminem on stage.

I believe the password is swordfish, do you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on April 01, 2011, 04:21:18 PM
Not mine!  My password is 'password'.  It's so easy that no one will ever think of it, so I'm completely safe.  My ATM pin is 4321.  See, it's backwards, so NO ONE will ever get it...

Why would a tree just fall in the woods if no one is around anyway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 01, 2011, 05:38:16 PM
Muscle cramp.



What about me? What about my feelings?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 03, 2011, 03:21:22 PM
I give up, what about your feelings.

What about my glass of water?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on April 03, 2011, 07:44:50 PM
You can take your glass of water and shove it up your @$$!  :teddyr: :tongueout:


Will the tomatoes attack?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on April 04, 2011, 01:48:47 AM
Not with the Carrot Police around.

You defiled a Christmas tree?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 04, 2011, 02:14:24 AM
Hey, the angel ornament was hot!

If I, he, she, and we're a pepper, would you like to be a pepper too?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 05, 2011, 06:56:04 AM
If it were just you and he, maybe, but she's a jerk and I want no part of anything she's involved in.




Could it be Mack the Knife?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on April 05, 2011, 08:00:23 AM
No but you can have Mac from "Mac & Me".



Are you drunk?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 05, 2011, 06:00:15 PM
How dehere you egcuze me.. I only had a lid.. (hic) a lid (hic) about 10 shots.

Have you kissed your cousin lately?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on April 08, 2011, 11:16:59 PM
No, I'm too busy making out with myself. I turn me on.

If I was going to eat vanilla pudding while it's raining outside after we just sang Minnie the Moocher together, what would you do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on April 08, 2011, 11:18:06 PM
I would b!tch slap you for being silly.  Now pass me the pudding.

What is the worst movie ever made?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 08, 2011, 11:25:22 PM
Manos.  Various feasible arguments can be made for others though (Creeping Terror, Blood Feast, Plan 9, etc).

Ooh.. that smell.  Can't you smell that smell?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on April 09, 2011, 01:39:16 PM
I could have, before my nose was blown off in a freak leafblowing accident.  Thanks for reminding me.

What the heck happened in NAKED LUNCH?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 09, 2011, 02:48:47 PM
Well, there was this guy, see? And he did these drugs, ya know? And then his typewriter was a bug. And he killed his wife to become a writer. Oh, and he was gay. Does that clear things up for you?



Wherefore art thou, Coolio?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 09, 2011, 05:00:31 PM
In 'Gangstas Paradise'.  He and many others spend most their lives living there.  But an Amish Paradise is cooler.

Velveeta or Cheese Whiz?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on April 09, 2011, 06:35:39 PM
Jeez Weez Cheese Whiz.

What's in Cheese Whiz anyways?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on April 09, 2011, 06:50:53 PM
Tiger splooge.

If a smug, pompous, ill-tempered wallaby with a British accent got in a fight with a destructive, eccentric, street-smart cockroach who speaks in sound effects rather than actual words, who would win?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on April 09, 2011, 07:07:29 PM
Judd Apatow.

Why is it that these forums bleep out the word p***y, but if you look to the right in the popular articles section  you can see a link to Faster, Pnssycat! Kill! Kill!?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 09, 2011, 07:55:31 PM
Because the movie was too awesome for them.

Which kind of milk do you have: the regular, or the exploding dream kind?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on April 09, 2011, 09:32:21 PM
Rat's milk.

Why does the sky taste like shrimp scampi after someone just vomited on it while reading The Dodo & the Frog comics?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 09, 2011, 10:16:21 PM
Because logic doesn't exist!

what is this logic?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 09, 2011, 10:20:22 PM
It's a song by Supertramp.

If you peed 100 times, is it a centipeed?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: crackers on April 10, 2011, 02:09:24 PM
No, something is seriously wrong with your bladder.

Can a dog look up?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on April 10, 2011, 07:22:06 PM
Only if you hold a cup of water over its head!

Why do we blink?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 10, 2011, 08:16:20 PM
Because if we didn't blink, our eyes would dry out and eventually develop x-ray vision, and then we'd go blind from always staring through women's clothing.



If a man can dig a hole in a day and a half, why didn't he just rent a backhoe and finish up before lunch?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Britorama Rob on April 10, 2011, 08:48:30 PM
Digging and sweating makes him feel all manly, a hoe just reminds him of some peasant cosplayers at a Ren Fair.


Why does sleeping for longer periods of time (9 hours) make you feel worse than sleeping less (6 hours)?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on April 10, 2011, 09:36:40 PM
I've always found the opposite myself especially after a long week without enough sleep. An extra long weekend sleep is golden.

Who'd win a fight between Mechagodzilla and RoboCop?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 10, 2011, 11:55:07 PM
no one, Mechagodzilla had a mechanical malfunction with his left wrist. Robocop fell over and knocked down humpty dumpty's transvestite brother, Lars D. Goodnight.. He's currently on trial for the death of LG HD's TV.


Where's my PANTS?!?!?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on April 11, 2011, 04:09:15 PM
Turn your head downwards very slowly.

Why do I feel the urge to punch an infant with a spiky boxing glove every time I have to listen to my brother watching Icarly, Phineas and Ferb, Adventure Time or Kids Next Door?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 11, 2011, 04:31:57 PM
because you love him.


How's the weather up there?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on April 11, 2011, 05:17:38 PM
It's raining cats, dogs, and chickens.

How is the weather down there?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 11, 2011, 05:49:57 PM
(Retro turns and looks at his butt; farts)
Slightly cloudy.

They say that Coke adds life.  Is this true?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 11, 2011, 06:29:19 PM
no, It's dope.

why can't I finish this senten?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Robocop on April 11, 2011, 09:17:05 PM
Because you have nothing more to say.

Why does Bale growl when he is Batman?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 11, 2011, 09:21:17 PM
Because his tights are chafing.

Will they ever come out with Slugs: The Musical?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on April 12, 2011, 02:18:02 AM
No, they're too busy filming Slugs: The Porno.

Where's Jaws 19?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 12, 2011, 02:16:55 PM
In the future.  Borrow a Delorean and head for the nearest theater.

When will the stars fall from the sky?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on April 12, 2011, 03:06:35 PM
A. 2012.

Q. Who would win in a pie eating contest, 70's King Kong or 50's Godzilla?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 12, 2011, 04:08:26 PM
2000's Kirsty Alley.



When can I retire?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 12, 2011, 05:48:40 PM
When your car needs new tires.

When will Geico stop doing pointless commercials?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 12, 2011, 08:35:51 PM
When Venice sinks.

Why are there more windmills in Holland than in Texas?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on April 13, 2011, 08:34:34 AM
There used to be more in Texas, but they kept getting distracted, staring at those spinny things and nothing was getting done.  So, they took them all out.  (I actually was living there at the time that it happened.  Prop 92)

Do you like fish sticks?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on April 13, 2011, 09:59:21 AM
I prefer drum sticks.

How should I treat my wife's lice?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on April 13, 2011, 02:37:17 PM
The same way that you would have them treat you.  So sayeth the Lord.

How do you plan on spending your summer vacation?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on April 13, 2011, 04:39:30 PM
Wait for it to be over.

Why does my dead hamster jack off to Hamtaro?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on April 13, 2011, 06:04:33 PM
.....Because I'm Batman.

Where is the ring?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Robocop on April 13, 2011, 07:14:55 PM
I have a copy on video, but if you watch it you'll die.

Why does Darth Vader constantly breath loudly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on April 14, 2011, 11:24:01 AM
Because, it's hard to breath under that big helmet. Just ask Dark Helmet!

What does Sloppy Joe know?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKvhVssO348


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on April 14, 2011, 01:09:07 PM
How to make a mess.


Warp 5, sir?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on April 14, 2011, 03:14:10 PM
Actually, Sulu, just blow the engines. NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!

Why don't we do it in the road?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 14, 2011, 04:03:54 PM
There was a legion of spiders meeting.

homer called, he said he want's his pants back. What do you know about this?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 14, 2011, 09:32:17 PM
I know that "wants" doesn't need an apostrophe.  :twirl:



Who's that peeking in my window?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on April 14, 2011, 09:38:40 PM
That doggie, with the waggly tail.  Now it's HIS turn to stare at YOU and wonder how much YOU'RE worth!

What happened to Mayor McCheese?  And the pirate guy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on April 16, 2011, 03:20:53 PM
They got together and moved to Fondu-lock.

If Iron man is made of Iron, what is his woman made of?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 17, 2011, 04:37:31 PM
Inflatable vinyl. He's lonely.




If laughter is the best medicine, why can't it cure diarrhea?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Crom on April 17, 2011, 06:04:22 PM
Because it makes you gag.



What is the language of cheese?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 17, 2011, 07:12:58 PM
If I tell you, then I must kill you.


Why did the GM Futurliner (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GM_Futurliner) sell for $4,000,000.00?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on April 18, 2011, 12:09:21 AM
Because nobody wanted to pay $4,000,000.01.

Why isn't there a safe weight-loss pill?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 18, 2011, 12:17:04 AM
cuz if there was, then there won;t be any lawsuits against that company.

Where's Johny?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Robocop on April 19, 2011, 11:17:24 PM
He's at your door as we speak

(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001295149/The_shining_heres_johnny_xlarge.jpeg)

Are the Japaneses creating chick robots for sex?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 20, 2011, 10:05:05 AM
They were, but the robots were too sophisticated and turned down the little nerds and went after the cool jocks.




How do you make a funky cold medina?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on April 27, 2011, 07:38:03 AM
Better without that creepy guy who played the Ferngully lizard.

Can I speak to the drug dealer of the house?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on April 27, 2011, 01:09:45 PM
COPS! EVERYBODY RUN!!

Wait....are you a cop?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on April 28, 2011, 06:58:33 AM
I'm Detective John Kimble, I AM A COP YOU IDIOT!!

Are those Cookies? WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD EAT MY COOKIES?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on April 28, 2011, 07:32:20 AM
you did, remember?

What ever happened to the Kool-aid Man?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on April 28, 2011, 07:57:14 AM
He ran into too many walls and shattered.

But what about Bob?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on April 28, 2011, 11:05:30 AM
He still posts here from time to time...

Can I get a what what?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on April 28, 2011, 11:30:43 AM
No but you can have my whowh-...

I'm going to shut up now...

Do you know what you get when you have chaos?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on April 28, 2011, 08:48:47 PM
Umm more chaos...

Whatsa matta with you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 01, 2011, 12:24:28 PM
Thor stole my sandwich.  :bluesad:

Can you see it in their eyes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 01, 2011, 02:53:56 PM
yeah, I see evidence of pickles and tomatoes that they stole DWV's sammich.

Is the pen REALLY mightier than the sword?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 02, 2011, 01:32:03 PM
Maybe a 007 explosive pen.

Will we reach 100 pages?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 02, 2011, 02:02:56 PM
Gird yourself for the final encounter. Think not of the pages.

What did my father see in you?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 02, 2011, 11:00:46 PM
His fist in my face after seeing me in yer mama.  :twirl:



Why is "turd" such a fun word to say?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 03, 2011, 08:19:52 PM
Poop-related things are funny.  Until you step in it, that is.

How much will you mow my lawn for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 04, 2011, 07:58:57 PM
One hundred MILLION dollarz.

(http://usedbooksblog.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dr-evil.JPG)

So what'll it be: soup or salad?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 04, 2011, 11:16:24 PM
A super salad!
(http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/images/news/2007/10/largest_salad.jpg)
Why ya gotta treat me bad, baby?  Ain't I good to you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 05, 2011, 11:34:14 AM
You shot me in both of my knees and lit me on fire, p**s off!

What does the scouter say about his power level?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 05, 2011, 09:33:37 PM
it's running at 24% battery power left.



Why doesn't anyone like him?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 10, 2011, 06:44:15 PM
Because he puked in the punch bowl at the prom.  :hatred:


Easy come. Easy go. Will you let me go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 10, 2011, 10:21:49 PM
NO! I'LL DRAG YOU TO MY GRAVE!!

Where is the ring?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 10, 2011, 10:49:40 PM
the ring is from the speaker, indicating that someone is at the door.


Why did they kill Lenny?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 11, 2011, 11:30:29 AM
Because they're bastards.

Why don't you get your own tree-fiddy?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 13, 2011, 07:10:51 AM
because there all out at Wal-Mart, Target, Sams, etc.....

Can I answer my own question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 13, 2011, 08:56:47 AM
Sure! You can answer the one you just- Uhhh.... Ooops!

Good god! What are you on?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on May 13, 2011, 09:01:36 AM
The Air. The show is about to begin  :smile:

Why did little Tommy Jarvis in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter try to look like Jason?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 13, 2011, 05:40:57 PM
Because Jason is hot and Tommy wanted to score some chicks.

Whose dog pooped in my lawn?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 13, 2011, 07:39:02 PM
Who said anything about a dog?

Who the HELL do you think you are?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 13, 2011, 11:24:35 PM
I am the rare transvestite succubus!

What the Hell?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 15, 2011, 07:47:12 AM
It's a sheep, a rhino, a platypus and Richard Simmons dancing the Lambada. I thought it was obvious.




Why must the wheels on the bus go only 'round and 'round?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 15, 2011, 10:45:13 AM
Because square wheels aren't very popular.

Do you suck dicks, private?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 15, 2011, 11:48:19 PM
no, but the office slut does, that's why she's always getting more money than we are.

Some call him the Stig. What do YOU call him?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on May 15, 2011, 11:58:06 PM
Rufus T. Firefly

So, whatever happened to Rayman's arms and legs?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 16, 2011, 12:01:55 AM
Ratchet took a leg, Sly Cooper took the arms, and Dexter took the other leg.



What ever happened to the music?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 16, 2011, 11:22:37 AM
*Sniff* It's been ruined, man. It's DEAD, man! You maniacs! You blew it up!  Damn you! Damn you all to HELL! *Sobs*


Isn't that cheery?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 18, 2011, 11:14:11 PM
No, it's a Cherry.

Can Someone explain why Hipsters are becoming mainstream?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 19, 2011, 06:52:37 AM
Non-Conformism - Because everyone is doing it!
(http://blog.binnyva.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/hitler_paper.jpg)
Have you seen, Kyle? He's this tall.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on May 30, 2011, 08:24:07 AM
Nobody gives a rat's ass about your imaginary friend. Now clean the gutters!


Okay, who threw the Crocodile Hunter?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 30, 2011, 11:41:12 AM
I did, he was gettin frisky with the kangaroos.


Who called the Cops?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 31, 2011, 05:54:05 PM
Cartman.  He wants permission to make people RESPECT HIS AUTHORITAH!
Want some candy, little girl?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: crackers on May 31, 2011, 06:35:26 PM
Chris Hansen " Just take a seat"

Can I kick it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 31, 2011, 07:02:01 PM
sure, but why would you kick a barge?

Why would you kick a barge?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on May 31, 2011, 08:03:11 PM
Because it's smelly...

What haunts you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on May 31, 2011, 08:08:48 PM
My reflection of my face! :buggedout:


How much is the dinosaur  there in the window?.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on June 01, 2011, 07:55:15 AM
(http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/jeff-goldblum-pic.jpg)

Well, uh, you, uh, see th- that, uh dinosaur, uh retails, for uh... $249,403,245 uh, and do you know what happens if you can't afford it? CHECKMATE!

Dear god! What are you doing to the furniture?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 01, 2011, 08:13:46 AM
I'm cleaning it for the party.

Where's the checkbook?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 02, 2011, 05:32:57 PM
In my leaderhosen.

How do you play the 'Kenny' drinking game?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 02, 2011, 05:55:41 PM
You call yourself "Kenny" and drink till you die of alcohol poisoning or cirrhosis.  Then your friends say, "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!  YOU BASTARDS!".

Now that Shaq retired, will he return to rap?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on June 02, 2011, 07:12:09 PM
A. Hell No. He's making a new video game. SHAQFU 2.

Q. Will Hollywood ever remake the Robo Cop trilogy someday?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on June 02, 2011, 07:52:36 PM
Yes only RoboCop will become another soulless CGI creation.

What's  the matter with you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: venomx on June 02, 2011, 08:00:41 PM
A. I'm mad because I'll never have enough 'space titanium' to create my own MechaGodzilla!

Q. Will Tom Green ever make any more movies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 02, 2011, 08:58:04 PM
I never heard of Will Tom Green, is he new? :wink:

Who let the roaches in?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 04, 2011, 11:04:22 AM
They came in when the dogs went out.



Where can a guy get masculine toe socks?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 04, 2011, 06:17:20 PM
In the Lingerie section of the mall.


Can you squish them?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 04, 2011, 06:48:05 PM
No, but you can put them in a can and send them to some pompous-ass rich family. Then, watch the blood fly!


Is there danger afoot?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 04, 2011, 09:17:36 PM
I already toed  :lookingup: you: Danger resides in the kneecaps.




Are the stars out tonight?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 04, 2011, 11:21:22 PM
Yes, and they're on Bourbon Street in the French Quarter.


Will Left ever be Right?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 05, 2011, 01:49:07 PM
Only unless down ever gets up.


Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Jack on June 05, 2011, 04:56:48 PM
It's just the way I roll man.

Why is abbreviation such a long word?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 06, 2011, 10:15:04 PM
because you use abr instead.

Why must he be in Hell?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 06, 2011, 10:27:39 PM
Because he couldn't spell Helsinki.



Does being crazy really help you work here?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 06, 2011, 10:52:24 PM
Yeah, You get to be in a room all by yourself, plus you get free meals!


What is it with the dog eating the cat?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 07, 2011, 08:30:33 AM
I think it's a weasel, they don't like cats either.

When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn...


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 07, 2011, 05:45:30 PM
When the flowers return.

Say.. has anyone seen my sweet Gypsy Rose?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 08, 2011, 07:25:35 AM
Yes. She said to tell you that the restraining order is still in effect.




Who would win in a fight: Willy Wonka or George Bernard Shaw?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 08, 2011, 07:32:53 AM
Neither. They would resolve their differences and then sit around a campfire, roast marshmellows and reminisce about their college years.

Derp?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 08, 2011, 11:07:42 AM
no, It's Derf.

I have a snowball fit for a king, what do you have?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 08, 2011, 02:10:37 PM
I have a king fit for a snowball. Let's get together and cooperate!




The battles commences! Who will fight for the glory of our great land?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 08, 2011, 02:31:28 PM
I'll fight for the glory of my land.  Meaning I'll mow it in a week.

Want some cheese?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 08, 2011, 03:05:56 PM
yes, I'll have some fresh Mozzarella, Colby-Jack, and Plan 9 from Outer Space, Please.


Are you an Anarchist?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on June 08, 2011, 04:24:44 PM
(http://www.statesofmind.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/joker-burning-money.jpg)
What makes you say that?

Who took cookies from the cookie jar? Was it YOU?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 09, 2011, 12:03:37 AM
No, It was That Guy to the left of me.


Where's Bane when you need him?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 09, 2011, 08:09:33 AM
He's with Inky. It's Inky and the Bane; it's Inky and the Bane. One is the Batman, the other's a stain.  :twirl: (I know it's nonsense. Deal with it)




What's the deal with women?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 09, 2011, 08:38:13 AM
Under the table. Ask Monica Lewisnki.

I donno bane, why does Robin hang out in the hood?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 09, 2011, 09:43:49 PM
because he thinks Batman won't notice the faulty wiring.


Can you take this burrito to the mall?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Fausto on June 19, 2011, 07:19:33 AM
No, your damn burrito needs to learn to take care of its own damn self.

Will you wind?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 19, 2011, 07:44:00 AM
I'm kinda clumsy. I'll probably break wind.




Who would win in a fight: Gloria Gaynor (singing "I Will Survive") or Freddy Mercury (singing "We Are the Champions")?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on June 19, 2011, 08:45:02 AM
Europe singing "The Final Countdown".


Aaaaannd where exactly do you think you're going?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 20, 2011, 02:20:54 PM
To take a crap!  Did you want to follow me?

What does Jimmy Crack Corn mean?  Is that his full name or something?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 20, 2011, 02:33:07 PM
It's a brand of Cocaine that's in the form of Corn.


Do you fear IT?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 20, 2011, 09:17:13 PM
Aaaaaaah! Suffice to say, 'tis one of the words the Knights of Ni cannot say!




Are Android phones and tablets really robots?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 20, 2011, 10:27:50 PM
Are YOU a robot?! :buggedout:

well, are you a robot?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on June 21, 2011, 12:40:34 AM
No, but your mom is a robot!

Where can I buy a robot in this town?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 21, 2011, 08:32:26 AM
I hear Best Buy has the Cheapest new line of robots and gadgets, but I know Gadgetron is better.

WTF is that sweet smell?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 21, 2011, 11:08:49 AM
Dead Clouds

(http://urlybits.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Happy-Fluffy-Clouds.jpg)



Does sunshine on your shoulder make you happy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 21, 2011, 01:15:17 PM
No, it burns my skin off.

Will You Ever get out of the bathroom?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on June 21, 2011, 10:10:40 PM
Yeah well it takes time you know. One thing's for sure, you DON'T want to go in there after me.

Why does Saturn have a ring around it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 21, 2011, 10:21:18 PM
because it is engaged to Uranus.

why did they kill the tomatoes?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 22, 2011, 08:35:27 AM
It was a hit job by the mushrooms.

When can I go home?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 22, 2011, 08:48:20 AM
After you give the mutant a sponge bath.

Isn't his absence slightly odd?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 23, 2011, 10:31:52 AM
well, he leaving his pants on the chair is.

Rubber or Plastic?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 24, 2011, 07:19:17 AM
Pleather.



Why is "squeegee" such a fun word to say? SQUEEEEEEEEEEGEEEEEEEE!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 24, 2011, 09:27:05 AM
They named it just for you to have fun just to say it.

When will the ravens come back?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on June 24, 2011, 10:22:20 AM
When you figure out how they're like writing desks.

Did Dante's girlfriend suck 36 d**ks in a ROW?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on June 24, 2011, 12:46:57 PM
No, it was only 35.  One guy moved in line so he could get sucked twice!

Why is the root of all evil named cookie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 24, 2011, 06:12:44 PM
because cake was a LIE!!!!


Would you like some punch?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on June 27, 2011, 05:43:02 PM
Okay, but you better knock me out or I'll return the favor.  :tongueout:

Does Chinese really make you hungry again a little while after eating it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 28, 2011, 08:19:39 AM
It's not the Chinese food. It's that blasted tapeworm's fault!

Vhat iz all ze shouting about?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on June 28, 2011, 09:51:23 AM
Doctor Frankenstien iz going to join me for a roll in ze hay.

D- Did you hear a Cat just now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 28, 2011, 11:51:14 AM
yes, he just tied a rope around his penis and jumped from a tree.  :buggedout:

Do you want to grow up to be just like me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on June 28, 2011, 02:11:53 PM
Yes, provided that you make a few changes...

If you lead a horse to water, is it truly impossible to MAKE him drink?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on June 28, 2011, 02:34:17 PM
Just dump the water and bring out the whiskey. Oh yeah, he'll drink.

Is it a bird, a plane, or Superman?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Criswell on June 28, 2011, 02:50:02 PM
All of the above its Birdmanplane

Why is their a green monster at my door?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on June 28, 2011, 03:03:11 PM
Because it hates bad grammar and you used "their" instead of "there" and It's a wee bit p**sed. (http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/8250/trollface.gif)


U mad, bro? U mad?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on June 28, 2011, 03:10:53 PM
I'm INSAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNEEEE!!!!!!!

I'm trapped in a room with a bowl of chili, a p**sed off badger and a pair of helium balloons. What do I do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 28, 2011, 05:40:00 PM
Invent a combustible lemon to scare off the badger!!!!

Will you invent the wheel?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on June 28, 2011, 07:51:47 PM
Only if you invent sliced bread first.

Is Denton, USA the best town in America?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 30, 2011, 08:04:35 AM
no, it's someplace in Montana, where there's 0% crime!!!


Is ice cream the champion of breakfast for children?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: slimrockwell on June 30, 2011, 12:48:04 PM
nope, donuts.

what happened to leonard parts 1-5?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on June 30, 2011, 12:50:49 PM
Leonard Part 6 was so bad Bill Cosby went on a quest to destroy all knowledge of the "Leonard" series, yet his quest failed because Leonard Part 6 was too horrible to forget.

Why is the rum gone?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 01, 2011, 08:37:46 AM
I've been drinking it and destroying it.

can I write an invisible question?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 01, 2011, 10:20:52 AM
I'll try for you.

Can you read this?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 01, 2011, 11:50:55 AM
Unfortunately, yes.

You dare give Cave Johnson Lemons! Do you know who I am?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 01, 2011, 05:12:52 PM
Yes, and it gives me chills.


Where did you dig up that old fossil?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 01, 2011, 05:42:07 PM
Hey, don't talk about my mom that way!

Have you even mistaken ESP for ESPN?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on July 01, 2011, 06:36:34 PM
Yeah, and one of them always gets lousy reception.

What a ya buying?
(http://i139.photobucket.com/albums/q289/LouMooRessie/RE4/Merchant.jpg)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 02, 2011, 11:19:50 AM
Gum please.


Can I get a muzzle for my sister's damn chihuahua to stop him from biting my groin?! :hatred:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on July 02, 2011, 01:28:51 PM
You don't need a muzzle. All you need is a shotgun to shut the little bastard up.

What the....WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS OUTRAGE?!!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 02, 2011, 01:42:21 PM
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

Oh dear god! What the hell is that thing?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 02, 2011, 03:57:12 PM
How dare you talk about my little pal that way?!...

If Soylent Green is people, what's Soylent Brown?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on July 02, 2011, 05:12:36 PM
The leftovers that have been left in the refrigerator for two and a half weeks.

What exactly did Gary Busey tell you?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 02, 2011, 07:30:47 PM
That the spit he put in my soup was "for flavoring".

Don't you want me, baby?  Don't you want me, oh?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 02, 2011, 11:03:28 PM
If you lost 30 pounds, younger, and was a girl then YES, I would! :tongueout:

The hell- Are you looking up my skirt again?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on July 03, 2011, 12:52:18 AM
No, just taking a picture up your skirt.  That's all.

What's the best way to a man's heart?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on July 03, 2011, 03:22:51 AM
My avatar will provide the answer.

Why do people ask stupid questions?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 03, 2011, 10:43:29 PM
Because animals can't talk.



As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Why would anybody be that stupid?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 05, 2011, 03:28:05 PM
he wasn't, they all wanted him to themselves. he's this guy:
(http://badgals-radio.com/wp-content/uploads/HLIC/238b6d8733e9bbd49eabe8b07753adbf.jpg)

Did you drink the last [insert soda type here] again?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 05, 2011, 05:56:06 PM
No, I used it for a lab experiment, and it's evolving wonderfully.


Is Gorgonzola a better name for a cheese, or a monster?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 05, 2011, 06:24:01 PM
It's a fine name for a monstrous cheese.

Where did my little bunny go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 05, 2011, 06:43:57 PM
It went down the Rabbit hole into Wonderland.

Do you feel lucky, Punk?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 05, 2011, 07:00:00 PM
No, you lit up the Sparklers instead of me!
(http://netdna.goodthingsweddingfavors.com/images/P/sparklers-for-wedding-01.jpg)

well, just how hard can it be; I mean, what can possibly go wrong?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Cthulhu on July 06, 2011, 08:22:07 AM
Yes.

Can you really call african albinos "black"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 06, 2011, 10:43:47 AM
You call 'em "Caramel"... Wait... I think I'm thinking of the wrong race.

Why is this forum on "Bad Movies" and not on "Off Topic Discussion"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 06, 2011, 12:36:25 PM
cuz Doggett wanted it to be here.

Where is my sparkling cider?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 06, 2011, 07:22:09 PM
On page 100.

If I have have a stupid question can I get a stupid answer here?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 06, 2011, 08:05:33 PM
Well duh........I don't know maybe... yeah....

Is that Geraldo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: flackbait on July 06, 2011, 08:59:08 PM
Yep, and thats a chair coming his way!

Is that a mustache?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 06, 2011, 10:07:15 PM
(http://www.southsidetattoo.net/tattoos_by_nick_stout/thumbnails/600x450/Finger_mustache_tattoo.jpg)

No, but I can see how you were fooled.



Are rubber chickens still funny?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: SPazzo on July 07, 2011, 01:08:21 AM
Only when used properly with the correct protection.

What's the most annoying cell phone ring tone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on July 07, 2011, 05:49:44 AM
Only when used properly with the correct protection.

What's the most annoying cell phone ring tone?

That's a trick question. They are ALL equally annoying.



How did this thread get to 100 pages?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 07, 2011, 08:42:51 AM
It made Andrew an offer he couldn't refuse.

When the going gets tough, and the tough get going, what do the whimps do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on July 07, 2011, 09:12:26 AM
They eat pie.

Will darkness show us the way?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 07, 2011, 10:56:21 AM
Only if you you don't have a fear of the dark.

Are you the wicked child?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 07, 2011, 11:32:03 AM
No he's the Wicker Man. NOT THE BEES! AAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!!

Will you answer ONE question for me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 07, 2011, 07:19:51 PM
The answer lies within.

What did you do to Izzy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 07, 2011, 08:11:10 PM
I beat her to take the 12th place on the Blacklist board in NFS MW. :tongueout:

Can you top this:  :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl:?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 07, 2011, 10:06:02 PM
:twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl:

He shot me in the ass! WHO DOES THAT?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 08, 2011, 11:21:41 AM
sniper perverts.


will you take me to the prom?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on July 08, 2011, 07:56:37 PM
I'll take you to Prom Night.  You gotta buy the popcorn and soda though.

Do you know the way to San Jose?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 08, 2011, 08:25:54 PM
just take a plane to to yer destination

is it clear as mud?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 09, 2011, 09:03:39 AM
No, more like a soup sandwich.

did you get the bill for the duck?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 09, 2011, 03:55:48 PM
yep, and you owe me $60.46.

Do you have it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 12, 2011, 08:42:50 AM
Yes, but my HMO won't cover the surgery.

Why do fools fall in love, insted of levitating into it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 12, 2011, 11:28:14 AM
Because fools haven't yet mastered the art of levitation.

Why would you start with a Monster Zero?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 12, 2011, 12:42:43 PM
Because he's Binary.

why can't we have good things?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 12, 2011, 01:56:53 PM
'Cause this is BADmovies.org, b***h!

Why do you have to say it like that?  :bluesad: :bluesad:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 13, 2011, 12:34:33 AM
Because here at Aperture Science, we don't hold hands for science- we start from the ground up scratch.

Did you invent the combustible lemons yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 14, 2011, 01:24:32 PM
No but the frag limes are done.

Aren't you glad Chell is gone?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 15, 2011, 05:39:39 PM
Gone, but not forg...wait, who?



When did the cat learn to bark?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 15, 2011, 10:50:24 PM
Sorry, that's a Chihuahua.

Oh, What fresh Hell is it now?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 16, 2011, 08:54:09 AM
It's new lemon-lime Hell, in the lavender bottle!

What fools these Immortals be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 16, 2011, 12:32:17 PM
They just like to decappitate eachother for no reason?

How did they know there can be only one?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 16, 2011, 07:20:58 PM
Because when they saw me, they got scared of me. :teddyr: :teddyr:

(http://www.brendanloy.com/blog/images/herriman-cars.jpg)
Just how many dead bodies can you fit in the back of this?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 18, 2011, 03:45:28 PM
Depends on how well your wood chipper handles blood and bones.




Do you know what your problem is?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 18, 2011, 03:47:31 PM
yes, we can't win when fools can be kings.

Are you the Brave Little Toaster?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 19, 2011, 07:58:06 AM
No I'm his son, toaster oven. Cross-breeding is a b***h.

What the hell are you talking about?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 19, 2011, 08:33:47 AM
 The Kings Speech.

Why did the cheese log float down the river?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 19, 2011, 11:45:40 AM
They were running away from the kids.

Did Robocop ever find that squeak?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 20, 2011, 08:41:48 AM
Yeah. mouse living in his thigh holster.

Can you think of a number from one to thirty?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Raffine on July 20, 2011, 09:24:47 AM
Yeah. mouse living in his thigh holster.

Can you think of a number from one to thirty?

No.

Should I try that new Filipino restaurant tonight?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 20, 2011, 11:46:22 AM
If you bring me back some thing, then yes!

What can fit into my mind?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 20, 2011, 12:03:57 PM
Unlimited potential!

Where's that thingamabob?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 20, 2011, 02:54:08 PM
Let me answer that question with a question.

Did you mean Bob?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 22, 2011, 05:53:58 PM
Ah yes. Brains Over Brawns.

H- How could you?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 22, 2011, 09:33:49 PM
Because I wanted a classic British Sports car, something that I can have, I don't buy everything for you!


Where is it?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 22, 2011, 09:51:57 PM
Under your bed just frustratingly out of your reach.

Are you old enough for that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 22, 2011, 11:07:03 PM
Nah, I'm young!

Can you decipher this?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on July 24, 2011, 12:48:42 PM
Only if I recieve twenty trillion dollars in return.

Should one drink from the goblet of gore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 24, 2011, 02:04:36 PM
No, they should drink from the Goblet of Ore


Who is this?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 24, 2011, 07:15:52 PM
Tai Sun's!

Can we take your order?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on July 24, 2011, 08:29:54 PM
There was never any questions as to whether or not you'd take my orders-NOW GO MY ARMY OF MINDLESS DRONES!!

Can you stand the suspense?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 25, 2011, 02:49:03 PM
It's breaking my mind, Man!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who farted in the bus?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 25, 2011, 06:52:45 PM
First speaker, stink maker.

Now where did Roger go?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 27, 2011, 12:49:06 PM
To the moon, Alice!


When did we last see Paris?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 27, 2011, 12:50:34 PM
two weeks ago before John Travolta blew it up.

Where's the fireworks?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 27, 2011, 04:11:51 PM
In Australia, up some drunk guy's ass. Try explaining that to the doctors.

You... What have you done?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 27, 2011, 06:45:34 PM
I cleaned up the house-

Don't you love it darling?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 27, 2011, 08:13:14 PM
Oh, behave!

What's love got to do with it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 29, 2011, 02:41:23 PM
Oh Jase... That's the power of love! *Dances*

What ethnicity is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on July 29, 2011, 05:29:01 PM
The ethnicity of Layeth The smackdownth.


Are you that kind of person?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on July 29, 2011, 07:31:46 PM
Yes I'm a sexy beast.

Did the dingo eat your baby?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on August 01, 2011, 10:12:08 PM
no, the baby ate the dingo.

Are the Extraterrestrials killin' pedestrians and rapin lesbians?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on August 03, 2011, 12:37:48 PM
Yes, but they're killing with an herring, and rapin with a shrubbery.

what's in the Gondola, and does Captain know about it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on September 30, 2011, 10:39:00 AM
I'm afraid it's the captain himself in the gondola. He's gone and gotten himself drunk and passed out on a Farris wheel.

(http://www.bartcop.com/blazing-white-women.jpg)

Where da white woman at?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on October 03, 2011, 01:02:20 PM
Upper Saddle River New Jersy.

Would you let your sister marry a Klingon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on October 03, 2011, 06:09:17 PM
Only he didn't hang around Uranus.

Would you live on Coronation Street?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on October 03, 2011, 07:44:30 PM
Nope, I live on Drury Lane.

Is Bigger really better with cars?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on October 08, 2011, 08:52:56 PM
Hell no. With greasy heart attack hamburgers, THAT'S something I tell you what.

What happened to your pride?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on October 09, 2011, 09:45:45 AM
I still have it, it's in my basement.


Are you the DEVIL?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on October 09, 2011, 10:44:58 AM
No, I'm Lucifur. Also, stop calling Satan the devil, it p**ses him off. Don't mix us up either we're two different people.

What happened to your lambs?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on October 10, 2011, 07:36:11 AM
Mary ate them all up, she was fed up with their droppings on her bed.


Can Godzilla do it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: WingedSerpent on October 11, 2011, 08:23:51 PM
Whether he thinks he can or he thinks he can't-he's right.


If the cage bird sings-what does the college-educated pterodactyl do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on October 11, 2011, 10:55:49 PM
Sing only Iron Maiden's songs.

Can I quit the system, it's bugging my style?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on October 13, 2011, 08:53:17 PM
No. Now go make me a sandwich, slave. Make it snappy!

What did you see in that turnip?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on October 14, 2011, 12:04:06 PM
Baldrick's thingy, Milord.

When did the goat learn to stare back at the men?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on October 20, 2011, 06:07:37 PM
After they started waxing their chrome bumpers.

Are you sorry for Ms. Jackson?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on January 17, 2012, 05:38:54 PM
I am for real.  I never meant to make her daughter cry.  I apologize a trillion times.

While a bit late sure, I'm thinking of adding "you go girl" to my regular conversational speech.  Think I can pull it off?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on January 17, 2012, 07:00:51 PM
With a spatula and a wire brush, I'd say yes.

Why can't you stop bringing killer rabbits to the cave?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on January 17, 2012, 09:16:49 PM
Because they're cute and fluffy until well they go for the jugular.

Why can't my cotton candy be blue?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on January 18, 2012, 09:32:05 AM
Because it's on Prosac.

What did the Troll do when it found an Atheist?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: alandhopewell on January 18, 2012, 01:23:09 PM
Because it's on Prosac.

What did the Troll do when it found an Atheist?

     Said grace, giving thanks for small snacks.

What part of your body do you wish were bigger?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on January 18, 2012, 03:23:35 PM
Everything EXCEPT for my John Thomas, so that I'll FINALLY be in proportion...

Where were you when you learned that Tupac had died?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: alandhopewell on January 18, 2012, 03:55:56 PM
Everything EXCEPT for my John Thomas, so that I'll FINALLY be in proportion...

Where were you when you learned that Tupac had died?

     In front of my tv, doing the Snoopy dance.
But dare a pair with paranoia scare?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 18, 2012, 04:46:46 PM
No, I would be on a boat with a goat going slow.


Can it really be him?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on January 18, 2012, 06:26:24 PM
Depends on the definition of reality. If the force of gravity changes every hour, then the answer is yes.

If Godzilla and King Kong had a love child, who would be it's first grade teacher?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on January 19, 2012, 08:13:16 AM
Hitler.

Why do penguins hate cheesewiz?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on January 19, 2012, 09:41:04 AM
It's as addictive as catnip.

Why can't cavemen live above ground?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: alandhopewell on January 19, 2012, 02:16:49 PM
It's as addictive as catnip.

Why can't cavemen live above ground?


     Can't get up that first / last rent, plus deposit.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51PYJXHASKL._SL500_AA300_.jpg)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JayJayM12 on January 19, 2012, 03:03:08 PM
([url]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51PYJXHASKL._SL500_AA300_.jpg[/url])


She was kidnapped by a crazy man named Brady, his lovely lady, and their 6 kids (3 with hair of gold, like their mother).  She is now forced to work, against her will, in their house, doing their every bidding.  I'm sorry, but you'll never see her again...

Why is it required by law to talk about the weather when riding the elevator with a stranger?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 19, 2012, 05:58:22 PM
Because that's the LAW!!!!!


Guess who's back?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on January 19, 2012, 08:39:01 PM
Susie Q and her little doggett too. :wink:

Why doesn't it snow in August?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Kaseykockroach on January 20, 2012, 03:48:49 AM
Well, you see friend, it's too cold for it snow to in August!

Why do I find myself watching B-movies more than good movies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on January 21, 2012, 11:11:07 PM
It's because you're not a rational person, just like the rest of use! :teddyr:

Is it really that serious?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Chainsawmidget on January 22, 2012, 12:44:48 AM
Is it really that serious?
It never is. 

If Jimmy cracked corn, and the person singing about it doesn't care, why did he bother to make a song about it in the first place? 


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on January 22, 2012, 02:29:12 PM
So others wouldn't have to care either.

I know this is a long shot, but did you take much acid during the sixties?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on January 23, 2012, 06:26:11 PM
No, I paid for it with my mom's credit card.

Can eating raw brains really prolong your afterlife?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on January 23, 2012, 06:55:39 PM
Sure! Ask any Zombie from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD!

If I keep crossing my eyes-will they get stuck that way?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 03, 2012, 02:53:41 PM
Yes.. until you wipe off the "X" you drew on them.

When you tell someone "you could go for some Chinese", do you mean the food or the people of Chinese origin?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: diamondwaspvenom on February 13, 2012, 08:46:01 AM
Neither. We're talking about dachshunds.

Why is Albert morbidly obese?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on February 13, 2012, 06:40:25 PM
Because he's fat, he's fat, you know it!
(http://mylifeaccordingtomeandmeonly.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/fat.jpg?w=300&h=225)
Does a stitch in time save nine.. or can it save ten?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on February 13, 2012, 07:48:49 PM
It saves 8, 9 sounded more extreme.

Can I take this taco with me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Pacman000 on March 23, 2012, 10:15:27 AM
Yes, but you cannot take it into the theater (unless you bought it there).

Why do good movies make bad video games?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: alandhopewell on March 23, 2012, 01:29:38 PM
Yes, but you cannot take it into the theater (unless you bought it there).

Why do good movies make bad video games?

     Because the reverse is true, as witness STREET FIGHTER and MORTAL KOMBAT.
Is it true blondes have more fun?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Pacman000 on March 23, 2012, 05:26:35 PM
Is it Marilyn Monroe or Dorris Day?

That's both the question and the answer. :teddyr:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Puma81 on July 10, 2013, 11:13:47 PM
Neither. It's Grace Kelly.

Where do Mogwai come from?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 11, 2013, 08:10:51 AM
John Carpenter's reject bin.

Why can't I see the light?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on July 11, 2013, 04:17:51 PM
Because you forgot to take off the full-head leather ball mask again. Next time I scream "Banana!" you better listen, buster.

Where did I leave my good intentions?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Zapranoth on July 11, 2013, 11:37:17 PM
Because you forgot to take off the full-head leather ball mask again. Next time I scream "Banana!" you better listen, buster.

Where did I leave my good intentions?

In the pavement of the road leading to Hell.

George Lucas.... WHY?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on July 11, 2013, 11:52:08 PM
Because you forgot to take off the full-head leather ball mask again. Next time I scream "Banana!" you better listen, buster.

Where did I leave my good intentions?

In the pavement of the road leading to Hell.

George Lucas.... WHY?

Money. I don't care about Indiana Jones, Star Wars or anything like that. I need all the money I need to erase the Star Wars Holiday Special from existence.

Who took a dump in the hall?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: indianasmith on July 12, 2013, 12:21:53 AM
The Dump Truck, of course!!!

Why are my boogers black when I have breathed no dirt today?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Puma81 on July 12, 2013, 12:38:14 AM
The Dump Truck, of course!!!

Why are my boogers black when I have breathed no dirt today?

Africanus Boogeritus happens when so many bad movies are viewed that the brain develops a tar like substance known only by psychic storm-lords in the jaskroscx-dimension as... cell-sap. They believe it's the formation of bad memories trying to exit the frontal lobe.

Why do people like the smell of their own farts so much more than other's?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 12, 2013, 08:26:32 AM
 It's all in the delivery.

Just what IS Stephen Hawking?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Zapranoth on July 12, 2013, 11:35:27 PM
The mighty Stephen Hawking is a f**king Quake god!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aXLIzk_7KCE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DaXLIzk_7KCE

How is a raven like a writing desk?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on July 13, 2013, 09:04:47 AM
Because it's made of wood...but don't quoth me on that.

When did you last do-wakka-do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 20, 2014, 03:47:55 AM
07/07/1977

Why did Hammer drop the MC?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 20, 2014, 08:34:53 AM
Someone had put WD-40 on it.

How long has Trevor worn one set of undies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on March 20, 2014, 09:40:57 AM
Long enough that the skid mark filed for retirement.

Where is my flying car?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: alandhopewell on March 20, 2014, 12:28:53 PM
Long enough that the skid mark filed for retirement.

Where is my flying car?


    I got your flying car right here....

Flying car developer says he's $80 million closer to making sci-fi dream a reality. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY85eExk7Zo#)

     Who wants to buy this diamond ring?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on March 20, 2014, 04:38:30 PM

     Who wants to buy this diamond ring?


This guy does!

Little John's Best Ever Local Commercial Louisville Kentucky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiJGiB-qows#noexternalembed)

Why would you disable embedding on a cheesy pawn shop commercial?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 23, 2014, 12:26:30 AM
Because Stone Cold said so!

Who wouldn't like breast?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on March 23, 2014, 10:28:26 AM
The chicken it was taken from.

If a-b+cx42=x, then y?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 23, 2014, 02:15:19 PM
Y ask Y?  Try Bud Dry!
Bud Dry Commercial From 1990 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9x-uklVGAI4#)

Are friends electric?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 24, 2014, 08:21:56 AM
When you know how to plug them in.

Why did the Klingon cross the road?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on March 24, 2014, 08:39:05 AM
When you know how to plug them in.

Why did the Klingon cross the road?

To find out a way to get to Mianus, instead of Uranus.  :wink:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Josso on March 24, 2014, 08:41:19 AM
If a-b+cx42=x, then y?

y=q


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on March 24, 2014, 07:47:07 PM
When you know how to plug them in.

Why did the Klingon cross the road?

To find out a way to get to Mianus, instead of Uranus.  :wink:

Umm, Trev, old boy, you forgot to ask a question.


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Trevor on March 25, 2014, 12:44:08 AM
When you know how to plug them in.

Why did the Klingon cross the road?

To find out a way to get to Mianus, instead of Uranus.  :wink:

Umm, Trev, old boy, you forgot to ask a question.

To be or not to be, that is the question but I dunno the answer  :wink:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 25, 2014, 02:14:03 AM
2-B is down the hall to your left.
Wanna finish my fence for me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on March 25, 2014, 05:40:52 AM
You're under arrest for fencing, mister!

If a frog jumps onto a lilypad, how does cheese get inside those fried cheese sticks?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 25, 2014, 08:17:24 AM
By pretending it's a worm entering an apple.


Does Mary Poppins wear an Air Traffic transponder?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on March 25, 2014, 09:56:34 AM
Yes, indeed, but considering what landed on my head the other day, she should be wearing Depends.

Do you have 3 bags full?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 25, 2014, 10:21:36 AM
I have tree fiddy full.

Have you seen enough hentai to know where this is going?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 25, 2014, 01:37:37 PM
It's going inside every one of her orifices.

Did you order the pizza?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 25, 2014, 07:13:44 PM
I hope so. I've been standing naked at the door waiting for the delivery person.

If rock beats scissors and paper beats rock, what beats bacon?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 25, 2014, 09:27:19 PM
Bacon on a double cheeseburger with a fried egg.

Why does my team suck?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 26, 2014, 06:02:54 PM
The leaf blower bit the big one.


If Capt. Kirk fought T.J.Hooker, who would win?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 26, 2014, 09:22:31 PM
Captain Kirk. He was great at beating up Hookers.


Haven't we been here before?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on March 27, 2014, 12:15:27 AM
You told me to circle the block just a minute ago, so yes.

Can you feel the hype train coming?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 27, 2014, 01:48:54 AM
Yeah, but it'll be awhile.. it's behind the Crazy Train and the Gravy Train.

Can she bake a cherry pie, Billy Boy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on March 27, 2014, 07:18:24 AM
I'll Warrant she can.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjyZKfdwlng (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjyZKfdwlng#)


How many lumps would you like?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 28, 2014, 08:11:22 AM
Depends. Is your jackhammer still working?

What kept you so long?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on March 28, 2014, 02:10:08 PM
Viagra.

What can my dog do to keep her farts from stinking so badly?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on March 29, 2014, 07:53:59 AM
Stop feeding her pork & beans


Do black people have dandruff?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: alandhopewell on March 29, 2014, 12:32:42 PM
     If they stand too close to white folks, they might get to share in it.

GEICO Hump Day Camel Commercial - Happier than a Camel on Wednesday (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWBhP0EQ1lA#ws)


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: RCMerchant on March 29, 2014, 07:25:34 PM
Why did it take me 2 hours to find my ciggerettes?
The word for the thing I light  on fire in my face,
Too many f**king S,s.
Like Tobacco
s**t! I did that right.
s**t. :smile:


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on March 31, 2014, 05:25:55 PM
RC, you okey?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 01, 2014, 10:24:01 PM
I certainly hope he is.
In all seriousness.


And now, if it's okay, can we get back to the goofy questions?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Javakoala on April 02, 2014, 07:17:18 AM
Not until you finish all your green beans, you silly person.

How do you do that voodoo that you do?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on April 02, 2014, 08:11:18 AM
With hoodoo that ain't poodoo.

Why did the the road cross the chicken?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 03, 2014, 07:12:02 AM
To get to the side of bacon.


Badges? Do we need any stinkin' badges?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on April 09, 2014, 12:35:29 PM
Ya know the cliché where a cop gets shot in the heart but it turns out the bullet hit his badge? It's just for that rare occasion.

Where can I get a brain transplant?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on April 09, 2014, 05:15:43 PM
When we find the perfect doner...Oh, Trevor, Trevor dear...


Just what IS a Quatters mass?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on April 09, 2014, 11:05:52 PM
About the same as two dimes and a nickel.



Is it time to make the donuts yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on April 10, 2014, 08:38:52 AM
It's ALWAYS dounut time!

When did the wind get in the willows, and how did the willows feel about that?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Chainsawmidget on May 04, 2014, 10:22:23 AM
Last Thursday and pretty darn good. 

So, you expect me to talk?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 04, 2014, 10:25:21 AM
No, Mr. Midget, I expect you to die.

Can I get you a drink?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 05, 2014, 07:10:57 AM
Yes. Lime in a coconut, please. Shaken, not stirred.


Will bell-bottomed pants ever come back in style, and what can we do to prevent it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 05, 2014, 08:27:05 AM
Maybe, and threaten to take chain saws to the fashion industry.

It's Monday - where, oh where are my brain cells?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: alandhopewell on May 05, 2014, 01:45:01 PM
Maybe, and threaten to take chain saws to the fashion industry.

It's Monday - where, oh where are my brain cells?

     Stuck in Friday traffic.
Have you been around? Have you done your share of comin' down?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 05, 2014, 05:28:59 PM
No, I don't get pain enough Rubles, and my share involves two fried chickens, a box of dougnuts and a bottle of Jack Danials.

Why did the Klingon cross the road?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 06, 2014, 07:20:26 AM
Because it was stuck to the chicken's butt.


Have you been to the seaside?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 06, 2014, 08:39:35 AM
Yes, and Germans just WON'T clean up all the landmines!

Why can't we have rocketpacks and flying cars?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 06, 2014, 01:30:09 PM
Well, we can't have the flying cars because their arms would get "tired".

If instant karma is going to get me, what can I do about it?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 06, 2014, 09:10:58 PM
Drop your drawers, grab your ankles and smile.



How big is the trouble in little China?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 07, 2014, 05:23:01 AM
Little China breaks easily.  As does big China.

What does Jr. Pac-Man look like these days?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 07, 2014, 05:31:42 PM
Fat as a German sausage-holic.

Where have all the man-eating flowers gone?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 08, 2014, 01:23:54 AM
They tried to eat the manliest of men: Chuck Norris. He round-house kicked them to Alpha Centauri.



How far back in the woods does the honky cat need to go to resume his redneck ways?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 08, 2014, 08:20:46 AM
At the end of the gravel road, when the banjo's start to play.

What happens when you mix Viagra with the Blob?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 12, 2014, 06:53:00 AM
The 50-foot woman gets a new toy.



The river's down, the creek is dry, so why do you wear your pants so high?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 12, 2014, 12:53:05 PM
Cause that way I know, what ever may come, I know it's unlikely, I'll wet me bum.

I you were a muppet, which one would you be?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 13, 2014, 07:28:30 AM
Sorry, man, ain't nobody sticking their hand that far up my keester.



Are you going to Scarborough Faire?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 13, 2014, 08:13:20 AM
Nope. Going like a storm cloud, to rain of their parade.


War- what's it good for?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: retrorussell on May 13, 2014, 11:46:32 PM
Lowrider, Spill The Wine, Why Can't We Be Friends, Cisco Kid, etc.

Why are supervisors so damn lame?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 14, 2014, 03:23:41 AM
Because to become a supervisor, you have to demonstrate the ability to shove your head up your backside.



What is the meaning of all this kerfuffle?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 14, 2014, 08:23:19 AM
It proves you know Yiddish.

Why can't the Sy-Fy channel get good movies?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 14, 2014, 11:29:05 AM
Because they can't even spell Sci-Fi right.

Why hasn't anyone killed Friedberg yet?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 16, 2014, 07:23:30 AM
Because the check to the hit man bounced.



Anybody got change for a twenty?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 16, 2014, 08:20:55 AM
Yeah, I can change it into a really good dinner at Stake and shake.


We know Trevor has scary undies- but what about Umaril's T-shirts?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 19, 2014, 03:30:32 PM
Back when he had feathers, they weren't so bad; there was a layer of protection. Since he was unfeathered, though, peeeyuuuu! Those pit stains could stop a charging chaurus and have been known to make skeevers faint.


Why no, I don't play too many video games. Why do you ask?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 20, 2014, 07:55:36 AM
Because the constant twitching of your thumbs disturbs me.

Think Godzilla attacks cities because he's sexually frustrated?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 24, 2014, 07:36:46 AM
Yes, because he's only sexually attracted to hummingbirds.


Who would win in a fight between Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 25, 2014, 10:19:07 PM
Whoever wins the real loser is whoever was watching.

Are you not entertained?!


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 27, 2014, 08:41:23 AM
Oh, I R...just not wif my Spellingg.

Why won't Godzilla and Gamera kiss and make up?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Olivia Bauer on May 27, 2014, 03:37:08 PM
(http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120412083914/dragonball/images/c/c4/Godzilla_atomic_breath.jpg)
You've obviously never smelled Godzilla's atomic breath.

What is the Doctor's real name?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 27, 2014, 04:58:45 PM
Pepper... Dr. Ima Pepper.

Do androids dream of electric sheep?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 27, 2014, 05:33:55 PM
Pepper... Dr. Ima Pepper.

Do androids dream of electric sheep?

Yes, but only if they're electric Scotsmen, Jimmy.

Are you hungry for some action?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on May 28, 2014, 07:09:38 AM
Not really. But I could go for some onion rings.


Why would angels want to dance on the head of a pin, much less gather there in numbers?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on May 28, 2014, 08:03:04 AM
Actually, it's a pinHEAD...his name is Zippy, and he averages about 342 angels per hour. They dance in shifts.

When someone is 'hornswoggled', what is the amount of horn compared to the swoggeling?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 05, 2014, 07:20:25 AM
The average ratio of horn to swoggle is 4:9, though your results may vary. There was an interesting case once of a man whose horn swoggled so easily that he was named village idiot despite having an IQ of 155. He was brilliant, but he just couldn't quite understand why everyone around him did such mean, selfish things. That, and he loved to roll in dung.


What does a guy have to do to get a sandwich around here?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 05, 2014, 08:23:41 AM
Beat the Hamburgler over the head with a trunchion, and get his swag.

Specifically, why is Godzilla sexually frustrated?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on June 05, 2014, 12:08:56 PM
Because he's too busy giving Godzilla face palms

Why can't Starbucks sell "small," "medium," and "large" drinks?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 05, 2014, 12:49:12 PM
Because pretentious snobs have high vocabularies.


Exactly which star does Buck live on, anyhoo?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 06, 2014, 07:24:00 AM
Third star to the right, straight on till morning, next door to Neverland. And believe me, those kids will not keep off his lawn.


How exactly can one fit four and twenty blackbirds into a pie in such a way that they are still able to sing when the pie is opened?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 07, 2014, 09:32:46 AM
They never mentioned they were Robot Blackbirds, did they? Idiots!

What do you do with a drunken sailor?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: JaseSF on June 07, 2014, 11:05:30 PM
Watch over him or her so he or she doesn't fall overboard.

Where's the beef?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 08, 2014, 03:45:26 AM
In the bun, if ya get what I'm sayin'. Ba-da-boom!

And if you do get what I'm saying, please explain it to me.


Do you hear what I hear?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 09, 2014, 09:24:19 AM
Yes, and the constant bleating is gettin' on my last nerve! Stupid sheep...

When will the last unicorn find a virgin?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 11, 2014, 07:43:42 AM
It won't, because it fell in love with a passing narwhal and moved into Davy Jones's locker.



Why can't all animals have names that are as fun to say as "narwhal"?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 11, 2014, 05:38:07 PM
Only humans think Narwhal is fun to say. Animals don't have opposable tongues.


Can a Cannes Can-Can dancer do the Can-Can on her can in Cannes with James Caan?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 12, 2014, 07:54:39 AM
Indeed she can, even while eating a can of peas under a canopy.


Would you rather eat a vegan hot dog (made of vegetable lips, tongues and anal sphincters) or a tub of popcorn slathered in veal juice?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 12, 2014, 08:30:00 AM
The popcorn. You don't know where those vegetable sphincters have been!

If Godzilla where a painter, which style would his painting be classified under?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 12, 2014, 01:10:27 PM
Probably the Jackson Pollock splatter painting school. In human BLOOD!!!



Who said you could have that cookie?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 13, 2014, 08:25:33 AM
I DID! Don't like it, talk to my ROBOT MONSTER!


When did the cats develop a taste for beer?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 14, 2014, 07:46:01 AM
Right after they ate the firehouse chili.



What sicko put the creme in the crematorium?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 16, 2014, 08:19:25 AM
Same guy put the Sanka in the sarcophagus.

When is coffee grounds for divorce?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 16, 2014, 08:45:07 AM
When she secretly switches your fresh-brewed coffee for Folger's crystals---decaffeinated.

Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 18, 2014, 08:45:33 AM
Because Stephen Lynch wanted it that way.

Why did the marmoset get his toenails stuck the blender?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 18, 2014, 09:15:43 AM
Because the lady doing his pedicure was trying to save a few minutes because the marmoset kept hitting on her because he wanted to get marmo-laid.



Has there ever been a stupider joke than the one I just made?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 19, 2014, 08:18:42 AM
Yes, but it escaped my mind like the wind, and I'm glad I can't remember it, either.


Could I be more confused?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: El Misfit on June 19, 2014, 06:31:32 PM
Only if you try to figure out stuff


Who is on First?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 20, 2014, 04:45:56 AM
No, he is on the injured reserve list. Tonight we have John "Buzzkill" Smith on first, who is quoted as saying, "Now let's see them tell that blasted joke."



"Buzzkill" is a cool nickname. What's yours?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 20, 2014, 12:59:23 PM
Durfbury. Nothin' personal, it's just business.

Can you BELIEVE the nerve of that guy?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 22, 2014, 07:25:35 AM
I can't stop believing because I fear the tiny wrath of Steve Perry.



How many licks does it take to get to the Tòotsie Roll center of a solid steel I-beam?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Chainsawmidget on June 22, 2014, 01:42:29 PM
I can't stop believing because I fear the tiny wrath of Steve Perry.



How many licks does it take to get to the Tòotsie Roll center of a solid steel I-beam?
Three.  Assuming your tongue secretes acid in place of saliva. 

What am I doing with my life?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 24, 2014, 07:59:50 AM
Obvious answer: Wasting it here. Not so obvious: Using chickens as part of your plan to take over the world.



When King Kong hit the pavement, about how many New Yorkers did he squish?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 25, 2014, 07:28:56 AM
14 1/2. A former Olympic swimmer who had lost his arms and legs was among the victims. His name was Bob.


What price can you place on Freedom?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Rev. Powell on June 25, 2014, 07:35:50 AM
It's 50% off this week at crazy Tom Paine's House of Liberty - one coupon per customer, some restrictions apply. Freedom not available in all jurisdictions, check local regulations.

Do you like movies about gladiators?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 25, 2014, 07:54:32 AM
Only if they star Peter Graves.

How long did it actually take Michael to row the boat ashore?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 26, 2014, 12:42:34 PM
3 hours, 22 minutes, 14.237 seconds, a Sea of Galilee record that stood for 123 years.



I got a hankerin'. Does anyone have a cure?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 26, 2014, 01:01:12 PM
I have a Kleenex, will that help?

Just what was Mr. Cleever a Ward of?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on June 28, 2014, 12:08:22 AM
Of Burt Ward, TV's Robin. It all started when Ward Cleaver was drunk and had an illicit tryst with Liza Minelli. Or maybe it was a peacock. Nobody remembers. And yes, alcohol was involved.



What animal(s) was(were) involved in YOUR birth?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Flangepart on June 30, 2014, 08:11:33 AM
Godzilla...My folks were married in 54. I was born in 56...coincidence?


The Jabberwock vs. Saquach...who would win?



Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Derf on July 03, 2014, 08:25:37 AM
In a fight, probably the Jabberwock, since Sasquatches are not known for carrying vorpal blades. At hide and seek, the Sasquatch would win hands down.




What would happen if two kissing fish wearing braces decided to make out?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: claws on September 30, 2018, 02:25:54 AM
They would have lots of babies?

am I out of shape if a turtle can outrun me?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on September 30, 2018, 03:18:18 AM
No,  it means you're in shape.  Bad shape.

Does godzilla ever have to take a dump?


Title: Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...
Post by: pacman000 on May 28, 2019, 04:12:31 PM
He did around '98.

Can I have a castle on a cloud?