Badmovies.org Forum

OK, when Rob Zombie does horror, you know that three things will be true:

There will be massive gore.
There will be boobies.
There will be backstory.

I finally got to see this one last night, and liked it pretty well.  I did not like it as well as I did his HALLOWEEN remake, which I thoroughly enjoyed, but I liked it quite a bit better than HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES or THE DEVIL'S REJECTS.  As far as recent remakes go, I would put it near the middle.


WHAT WORKED:
Jason - bigger, faster, and smarter than ever, the Dean of Slashers is back with a vengeance this time!  His underground tunnel network is very spooky and his physical presence is downright menacing.

The Girls - Man, there was some awful pretty machete fodder in this one.  The girl named Bree was hotness personified.

The Hero - He was the brother of a girl that went missing near the old Camp Crystal Lake, and he spent the whole movie trying to find and then rescue her.  He was the only one of the male characters that was believable or likeable.

The Kills - Dude, Jason was BRUTAL in this one!  The sleeping bag roast was just hard for me to watch as I have a horror of death by burning.

WHAT DID NOT WORK:

The Back Story - I loved the back story in HALLOWEEN, because you got to see how Michael Meyers became the evil, tormented figure he is.  You could feel pity and horror at the same time as you saw the hulking monster grow from the troubled little boy. Here, you are given hints at the back story, but no real detail on how Jason survived drowning, or how he survived at the abandoned camp all those years.

The Guys - other than the hero, Clay, they were pretty much all jerks, and stupid jerks at that.  Even for machete fodder, they were dumb.

The Ending - Come on, the "Jason jumping out of the water and grabbing the girl at the end" is SOOOOO OLD by now!!  Give us a fresh twist!

Not to be rude or anything, but Rob Zombie had nothing to do with the reboot of Friday the 13th. The guy who directed it was Marcus Nispel who did the Texas Chainsaw remake (which I liked) and Pathfinder (one of the worst movies I've ever seen).  But I agree with your assessment that the new Friday flick was really well done!  I was expecting not to like it but was most pleasantly surprised.  I loved that they returned Jason back to how vicious and brutal that he was like in The Final Chapter.  Particularly the screwdriver through the neck kill.

DOH!!!  I don't know why I had made that assumption.  Oh well.  Scratch the top line of my above review.  Everything else I said holds up, though.

As far as the new TCM movies go, I liked the remake of the first movie, but TCM- THE BEGINNING was pretty much a yawner.

I must say I agree whole-heartedly...the film was decent but the most likeable character for me was the goofy asian guy...I was rooting for him to survive but oh well  :twirl:

One thing I do have to agree with...  The one ***hole character who talks about Julianna Guill's boobs and how amazing they are.  Her's are probably the best breasts I've ever seen in a film, definitely in a horror film anyway.

As for the movie, I enjoyed it.  It's not the high point of the series, but it is far from the low point as well.  Worth a watch for slasher fans.  

SPOILER below

Apparently, they're writing the sequel now, and word is they're deliberately going for more inventive and over-the-top kills in the sequel.  My question is this: with what happens to Jason in this one, is he going to be zombie Jason in the new one?

****END****

I didn't like it much. It was entertaining enough, but phenomenally dumb. It also was too similar to the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake in a few things, which I didn't like. Both TCM and F13 are different series and need to look and feel different.

The funny thing is that I did enjoy the TCM remake a lot, and I think Marcus Nispal can do much better than this. Even the much maligned "Pathfinder" was way better.

Hated this movie.Its an absolutely uninspired piece of garbage. People just got stabbed through out the whole thing. No arms being lopped off, no decapitation, no disembowelment, even lamer and more predictable story than usual. The one good death scene is were that chick gets stabbed in the head when shes under the dock and then shes lifted up so we can see her nice rack, but thats it. Ya there were some hot girls, but hot girls don't make a good horror movie. And that freaking ending god I wanted to strangle somebody, which is what happened to Jayson, when he should have been sucked through that f**kING wood chipper.
I should make a horror movie were all these bad directors who do s**ty remakes of bad horror movies are eaten alive by pist off fans, it would actually be brutal and way more entertaining than this crap.

That's one thing I should have said in my review.  The ending of this one is probably the worst in the entire series.  Yes, even worse than the moronic ending of part VIII.  Somehow though, I kind of expect bad endings in Friday films (the only ones that have good endings are parts 1 and 6, really), so it didn't bother me as much as it would in other movies.

I started to watch the clock on this at around the fifty minute mark, then it suddenly made almost a complete 180 and was pretty good from around 1:15 'til the end.  I liked Jason and the "explanation" of how he gets around unseen so quickly.  The chase scene in the third act was great.

I could have done without the endless sex scene, the campfire girl's hideous fake boobs were more horrifying than Jason, and the pot humor almost had me turning off the damn movie.  Like someone else said, there were too many reused plot elements from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.

They didn't try too hard on this one but it squeaks by on the strength of the third act.

I didn't care for this movie at all. The Asian kid was the only likeable character, and even was pretty much a walking, talking stoner cliche'. All the other characters were painful stereotypes, too (even for a Jason movie... I mean, SERIOUSLY). I especially hated the hero. The guy was just one douche haircut with legs. There was some nice trim on display, I'll give it that much. All in all, though, just freakin' craptastic.

No, this wasn't directed by Rob Zombie. But it was directed by Marcus Nispel, and that (arguably) is infinitely worse.

I gotta say, there were three somewhat likable characters.

The Hero, who's trying to find his sister.
The Girl, who hero met when trying to find his sister. 
The Asian dude, who was pretty cool.

I forget their names entirely, but really, in these movies, names are moot point, cause more than likely, they'll be dead when the credits roll.  I'm surprised the credits just don't say "Guy Number 1", "Guy Number 2", etc.

I actually liked the way they fit in details from Friday the 13th Parts 1-3. Part 1 obviously before the credits, then Part 2 until Jason got the hockey mask and so on. I remember when I saw this in the theater someone behind me kept complaining out loud that " Jason wouldn't do that!!! Jason doesn't run! etc...etc..." Sorry to burst that guys bubble but Jason wasn't always a slow walking killer in the originals. This wasn't a remake of the period after he became a zombie.

The characters were forgettable and they even pointed out the cliched nature of some of them, but then strong characters are not the point in this type of film. So all in all for me it delivered on what it promised to do which is kill some annoying horny kids.   

Very true.  You can see him running frequently in 2, 3, and 4.  He even ran some in 7.

You need to watch Chopping Mall.  :wink:

EVERYONE needs to watch Chopping Mall. You should be issued a copy as soon as you're born.

You know I'm going to have to review this one, especially since I reviewed the rest. One thing of interest about the new one is the plethora of references to each of the old school ones. Let's see how many we can think of off the top of our heads:

Friday 1: Jason's mom/intro/archery

Friday 2: potato sack, shot of the wheelchair, girl looking like Jason's mom/trying to psyche him out.

Friday 3: the barn and the hockey mask of course

Friday 4: glass breaking galore, brother looking for missing sister

Friday 5: it was the AMBULANCE DRIVER ALL ALONG!!! j/k - not thinking of anything for 5.

Friday 6:

Friday 7: the sleeping bag death, amped up though

Friday 8: well, there was a boat lol

Friday 9: the homoerotic shaving scene...ok j/k!

Friday 10: um....

Ok, looks like there were a lot more references to the first 4 with sprinkles from the rest.

Any that you caught?

I assumed it was mostly references to the first four since the Jason of this film is a non-zombie one, and the tone of the films is closer to the earlier films.  I'm kind of wondering if the next film will make him a zombie?  Anything else doesn't really make any sense.  But then again, the Friday films were never that logical...

One other reference: I think the ending with the lake is a reference to the end of part 1.

   This new Ft13th was kind of a let down for me... I thought it was too polished and lacked cinematic character (EG: Film noise, grit, etc.) that made the original great. Hollywood just took a film classic and polished it to the point of destroying it's original identity...
   Plus, I love tits just as much as the next joe, but it was distracting in this film. It was too formulaic: "10min tits... 15min kill scene... 20min tits... 25min kill scene..."
It seemed as though the director was hiding his inability to set up eerie location profiles and character buildup with "God's finest creation" aka "candy yams" aka "fun bags" aka "flesh pillows" aka "the baby bar" aka "hoots" aka "titties"!!!

It kinda seemed as though the director was saying; "You wanna know how stupid I think people are? I bet if I stuff this film with nipple-shots and spurts of red corn-syrup, it'll gross over $50,000,000!" (Sad part is, he was right!)  :lookingup:

It worked for 11 other movies, why wouldn't it work now?   :teddyr:

Sounds okay to me.  I hate it when I have to fast forward for long stretches of time to get to the good parts.   

If that's all you demand from a film, then I envy you... I wish I were so easily entertained.

I disliked this movie.  Why did Jason have a cave hideout where he actually ran electrical wiring?!  Stupid.  He's a killing machine not a electrician.