Badmovies.org Forum

Gang:

As I've been away, I've fallen in with a group who love bad movies as much as you do - maybe even more?  At any rate, one of them started a thread that I think is worthy of starting up on this board.  So here we go....

Many of you already know many bad movies got released on VHS, but what about the artwork for these babies?  Can you say crayola?  Can you say line drawings?  Can you say Third Grade Art Class?  Allow me to let the pictures do the talking:

(http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/2624/72240577.jpg)

(http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu352/SlackJack_CM/aliendead.jpg)

(http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/3502/bodycountvhs.png)

(http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/6681/cannibal.jpg)

Now, let us see how many more examples we can come up with!

- TGWD

...What in the hell is Cannibal Campout with that cover?

Anyway, I was actually looking at lots of VHS covers to various bad movies last night, some looked like they were well-drawn or well-painted while others were downright hideous.

http://www.critcononline.com/action_usa_1988.htm
These two for the same movie both look pretty drab.

How can someone be so cheap that they actually draw a cover with a pencil? I'm looking at you Cannibal campout.

I still think all these are better than most of today's DVD covers....

If you're talking about the crappy Photoshop mishmashes they inexplicably put on movies that already have top-quality poster art, then I agree completely.

Cannibal Campout is a bit odd... but at least I know now that I could have gotten a job when I was 5 to do crayon drawings for some company somewhere.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/feelin%20screwy%20raedon%20vhs%20front.jpg)

I thought that said "fun, romance, crap" then.

WHAT?  YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON US???!!!

wow what a rack on that blonde

Heh, agreed.  :twirl:

                                            (http://racksandrazors.com/Pics/demonwind.jpg)
This has an awesome hologram which you can't see.
But if you could, it looks so stupid...
the Demon goes through the window; he repairs the window; he goes through the window; he repairs the window; he...

I remember this one from my video store days. The lenticular hologram was the worst I think I've ever seen on anything.

Not necessary the worst, but it is kind of funny they did "photoshopping" in the 80s as well:

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/muthers%201976%20continental%20vhs%20front.jpg) (http://www.critcononline.com/images/fighting%20mad%20aka%20death%20force%20continental%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Yeah, they did.  That's actually quite well-done for the time.  It was a LOT harder to do in those days, especially that well.  

(http://i1.iofferphoto.com/img/item/657/871/96/Zt9o2XhXvpNt6Y6.jpg)

To be fair to whoever arranged the cover, that's what the actual cartoon looks like...  Also, I know this is the DVD, but it's just slightly modified to fit the proportions of DVD and I couldn't find as good of a quality VHS scan.

Gotta keep this thread alive...

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3123/2722240370_be94e226b7.jpg)

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/crucible%20of%20horror%20vhs%20front4.jpg)

(http://mos.totalfilm.com/images/a/awesomely-bad-80s-vhs-cover-art-00-408-75.jpg)

See?  This is the kind of stuff I mean.  badly drawn, no proportion, no talent.  

They're bad, but still give you a good, warm feeling when you see them.  Kind of like going through the ol' Mom and Pop stores where they have the rack of VHS rentals off to one side, kind of bluish-tinted from being in the sunlight too long.  You know?  

That's what these make me think of.

-TGWD

Went Googling for old 80s cover art, and this one seemed very familiar.
(http://cache.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/190-1.jpg)
How lame is it when you redraw the Afghan girl from National Geographic as your cover art?
(http://users.telenet.be/wootie/natgeogirl.jpg)

Haha I've had that VHS for years, and it never dawned on me that they ripped off that National Geographic cover, but they did. Good find Andy  :thumbup:

                            (http://www.critcononline.com/images/troll%20ii%20vhs%20front2.jpg)
We all know this one:
The boy on the cover isn't even the same boy in the movie.
The boy in the film  doesn't have a treasure troll toy.
The line, "The original boogey man is back" is misleading, as that assumes there only ONE monster, when there are several--
which brings another case; there are no trolls in this movie, certainly none wielding a battle axe.
Finally, if you look closer you'll see the boy is in fact running away from a troll that's painted on a piece of wood--
the light cast on the boy and stairs doesn't seem to effect the troll, which concludes the troll is two dimensional
(you can see this more clearly if you have the actual VHS cover!)

This little masterpiece:

(http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/I/51RJWHA87BL._SS500_.jpg)

This is a very low-budget, shot-on-video film that I actually rather enjoyed. It is awful, though. For some reason we had this on shelf at the library I work at.

My favorite part about this cover is that the woman's bust is clearly enhanced in the least convincing manner possible.

That one's a new'un.

One other note on the Troll picture.  The troll itself is drawn as if it were leaning forward, or distorted vertically somehow - but this doesn't really make sense with the rest of the cover.

I have to say, this is one of my favorite thread ideas.  It's great.

Love all the ones posted.  I'm not having much luck finding any, and none of my old VHS covers look anywhere NEAR this bad.

It baffles me when the artwork is as bad as some of these.  I have a friend who can draw WAY better than any of this stuff (he did my avatar) and he'd be able to do it for quite cheap...  Probably cost a few hundred dollars for him to do a painting.  Can they really not spare a few hundred bucks for a good cover when mass marketing a VHS rental tape?

(http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e236/Fernee914/bog.jpg)
Lookit this one, so is this creature underwater, or is half it's head underwater and for some reason bubbles float from its lungs when it exhales?
That blind screen makes wonder what the rest of this creature looks like,
to me it suggests it possibly looks like the Grinch!
(http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/51KX7TY4XZL._AA280_.jpg)

Okay here I go again and plug "Nukie", but here is anothere reason why I think it's the worst movie ever made--
Heres the USA VHS cover:
(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/coverv/46/101946.jpg)
Nothing special but a blatant "E.T." rip-off with the moon in the background and silhouettes.

Here's the French VHS release, released under "Nukie Et Miko" translated :"Nukie and Miko"
(http://www.nanarland.com/Chroniques/nukieetmiko/j9.jpg)
Wait a minuet that's the "Mac and Me" VHS cover, Mac's antennae are lopped off, and his ears are trimmed ....
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/mac%20and%20me.jpg)
Not only did they rip-off "E.T." they ripped off a rip-off of it!

I want to see Angry Joe Bass!  Both the cover and the name have so many possibilities!

There have been a lot of bad ones in the past, not to mention a lot of bad blurbs.  I remember the VHS copy I had of Son of Godzilla, which had a synopsis on the back written by someone who obviously had the movie on in the background. 

But I digress...

Bad VHS covers?

How 'bout Die Hard Dracula?

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41SAV0K6SBL._SL500_AA280_.jpg)

Death Wish Club

(http://www.papermag.com/blogs/dwishclubvhs.JPG)

I've never been a big fan of the Rawhead Rex VHS cover, either.

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1136-1.jpg)

This one is a personal favorite:


(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/261-1.jpg)

Oh man, so many to choose from. Badi (AKA Turkish E.T.) pretty much speaks for itself:

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OR1QF0-WMr0/SawzSwB0bWI/AAAAAAAAAI0/RYcjZ9KnIk8/s320/Badi1.jpg)

And who can forget Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny?

(http://www.kiddiematinee.com/images/s-sicbunny02.jpg)

This is an obvious statement, but those guys behind Nukie and Mac really failed to make their characters seem cute at all - Mac is frightening.

This cover is amazing!

I'm intrigued. "A Daring Rescue!"

And why are they driving around in that fire truck?

Holy hell! This film is live action? I must find it.

Haha, yeah, it's one of the most hilariously bad movies I've ever seen, in an "Oh-my-God-is-this-s**t-really-happening?" kind of way. I actually just bought it and liked it so much that I just had to write a Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny review (http://rarecultfilms.blogspot.com/2009/07/santa-and-ice-cream-bunny.html) on my blog (and obviously you can tell that I'm not much of a writer). Amazon has a few copies of the VHS on sale - totally worth the 12 bucks in my opinion. I would definitely put this one on a "movies you must see before you die" list!

European cover art for Cannibal Ferox which might not be work safe, so here's the link:

http://www.schnittberichte.com/www/SBs/5139266/cov11.jpg

Jumping on the bandwagon:

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/dynasty%20of%20fear%20academy%20vhs%20front.jpg)

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/deathdream%20gorgon%20vhs%20front.jpg)

... and a boy was probably responsible for the cover art.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/mad%20butcher%20magnum%20vhs%20front.jpg)

... the butchering of puppet people?

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/jaws%20of%20death%20paragon%20vhs%20front2.jpg)

... where bodiless hands wave goodbye.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/goldie%20and%20kids%20prism%20vhs%20front.jpg)

... bad hair day AND the promise of Barry Manilow. No thanks.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/adventures%20of%20pinocchio%20video%20gems%20vhs%20front.jpg)

... is it just me or is there something indesecent going on?

"European cover art for Cannibal Ferox which might not be work safe, so here's the link:"

What do you mean might not be safe for work?  I think I need to go clean my mouse off just for clicking on that link!

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1443-1.jpg)
"Too gory for the silver-screen", "Made for Video"
So that's how they rationalized that they couldn't get a theater to show this P.O.S.

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/15-1.jpg)
See it, you see-- he's burning; I dunno if you get it, it's kinda hard to grasp!

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/219-1.jpg)
                    Moon + Beast = Moonbeast!

Ha ha somebody's been looking at far too many Frazetta paintings.

So, an angry bald woman kills people in their dreams?



You get a lot of value for your money with that movie. It comes with a free soup recipe.

Okay . . . my turn:

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6hDZt1e0ofY/SZ4xusoMXKI/AAAAAAAADew/qNNa3DeHKWg/s400/video+nasty.jpg)

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6hDZt1e0ofY/SZ4q9_r9z-I/AAAAAAAADeY/t5GCZm7aE4Y/s320/video+rollerblade.jpg)

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51NiRTf-BKL._SS500_.jpg)

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/513BQEEMGML._SS500_.jpg)

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/510SX27TZSL._SS500_.jpg)

some of these are not bad but rather awesome

I tend to think they're a happy medium of awesome AND horrible - which is one and the same on this site!

More examples? Suuuuure:

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/night%20of%20the%20strangler%20vhs%20front4.jpg)

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ruf9JBv9V4U/SkDL8SOC8TI/AAAAAAAACMg/JvpjI4DGHKs/s1600/jchan.jpg)

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ruf9JBv9V4U/SkDL8P1dkiI/AAAAAAAACMY/6YmxFzW9LJo/s1600/devildoll.jpg)

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LZ92yTgKeAQ/SMFrhD4xC_I/AAAAAAAAEd4/wVHx1M0AFqs/s1600/terrorontour.jpg)

- TGWD

(http://i2.sell.com/7/19/504664/44/172/2861527-m.jpg)

-Jimmybob

Ho ho ho, that film is at the bottom of a very, very big barrel.

Watched the clip on the review.

I have to find this film..... Mind bending stuff lol, the daring rescue was great, watch the slowly moving fire truck almost run over the dog...................... Lets dump the kids and the dog.... lol very entertaining. Wonder if a full version is uploaded on the internet somewhere. May have a look later, google videos may have it.

Agh!

With that siren and deranged circus music, the Ice Cream Bunny appears to herald the arrival of Hell itself.

I'm willing to bet the whole thing is some bizarre metaphor. Santa Claus is hope, the Ice Cream Bunny is death, and the children represent the future, which must devour the past. Also, the barking dog is the chaos of the world, bringing Death to our door. Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn represent... well, I have no idea.

As far as I can tell, the only message in Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny is "Visit Pirate World."

Found some others:
(http://www.post-apocalypse.co.uk/endgame/83-15a.jpg)

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41AD5MXR2WL._SL500_AA280_.jpg)

Hard to see the Ratboy one, but it was the biggest I could find.

(http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/bb/15/4521eb6709a0ccd030851110.L._AA280_.jpg)

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1745-1.jpg)

(http://www.deathwishindustries.com/home/What%20Is%20Best/Indian%20Revenge%20Movies/Thunder%20Warrior%202%20VHS%20Box.gif)

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1713-1.jpg)

Isabelle Sanford?!? Weezy?!?

Whoa baby! I'm there!

Jack and the Beanstalk was another ploy to get people to visit Pirate World-- still haven't seen it,  I'm waiting for the price to go down on Jack and the Beanstalk, or it to end up on Netflix.

(http://www.deathwishindustries.com/home/What%20Is%20Best/Indian%20Revenge%20Movies/Thunder%20Warrior%202%20VHS%20Box.gif)

I didn't even know there was a first one!

That's exactly what I thought.

Why do I get this feeling that the cover for this one is way more awesome than the movie it depicts?

Here's one...

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/night%20of%20the%20bloody%20apes%20dvd2.jpg)

What I find interesting is the pics from the film are in black and white, but the movie itself is in color.

Endgame looks like it's gonna be exactly the same deal with ROTOR; awesome poster, content that had a budget that couldn't even afford that was on the poster.

(http://cache.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/242-1.jpg)

Oddly enough, I recently found myself explaining this very principle of bad movie box art to my daughter. She was going through some of my collection and asking me about the pictures. I had to explain that I had no idea what was happening on the cover of Robot Holocaust, as nothing even remotely like that happens in the movie.
(http://i535.photobucket.com/albums/ee356/Rivamarsh/VHS%20cover%20art%201/RobotHolocausta.jpg?t=1247576936)
So then I showed her some sword and sorcery covers of the 80s that followed the same conventions. Such as...
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3616/3438395469_a8b89439cb.jpg?v=0)
How do you even fight with those two weapons at the same time? Also note the beautiful title, apparently drawn in felt-tip pen.

You know, this reminds me of this old video review guide I had years ago from Fangoria.  One of the tips they said when looking for films to rent is "Never go by box cover artwork!  Some of the films aren't worth the costs of the artists pencils!"  (Or something like that.)

HAHAHA! I never even noticed that before, just how could you! Karma!

Yeah, I wrote up a guide years ago for how to determine the odds that a movie is bad based on the box.  I have to say though, with the advent of DVD and photoshop, a lot of the rules I determined are not as true.

Wish I still had the whole thing, but a few bits I remember that most on this forum will understand:

If the box is bigger than normal, that is a HUGE indicator of crapiness.
If the back of the box has NO PICTURES from the film, it is probably garbage.
If there are quotes like, "The goriest horror film ever!" with no one attributed to the quote, it's almost certainly crap (that one is basically exclusive to direct-to-DVD releases).
If there is a drawn cover art image which is matted like the box was a picture frame, it's probably crap (Ratboy, as seen below, does this). 
If there's an ultra-cool Boris Vallejo/Frazetta style painting on the cover, and it's obviously a low budget film, it is probably crap.
If it has famous people in it in the era before they were famous, it's probably crap - especially if it is a film that was long out of print until they got famous.
If you can determine the cover art doesn't match the plot description at all, it is probably crap.
If the cover art font looks like the font from a more famous similar movie, it IS crap.
If there's a hologram on the cover, it probably sucks.  Ditto with 3D art that sticks out of the box, lights, sounds, and other box gimmicks.
If there is obvious photoshopping on a live action photo on the cover, it probably sucks.
If the title bears a striking resemblance to a big budget film's title, it probably sucks.

I've never had any experience with bigger-than-normal VHS boxes, what are those?

http://www.slasherindex.com/bookbox.html (http://www.slasherindex.com/bookbox.html)

There's a few examples.  They're not ALL bad (a few typical polished Hollywood films got these boxes in the early VHS days, I think), but most of them are.  It should be noted I'm not referring to any specific kind (one company's boxes are actually called Big Box VHS, IIRC), but any non-standard VHS boxes that are physically large.  

The worst examples were the ones that actually were a sleeve, just with a box made way larger and styrofoam inserts to hold the VHS.  

I'd have thought that larger boxes would incur larger costs... I guess that's not the case.

That describes about 90% of the movies I rented on tape back in the day  :teddyr:

(http://cache.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/287-1.jpg)
(http://cache.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/291-1.jpg)

It's probably true, but I'm sure making the movie stand out on the shelf was more economical than making a good movie. Just like putting kick-ass cover art on a cheapo movie. It's turd polish.

Night of the Bloody Open Heart Ape Surgery Stock Footage

(http://uraniumcafe-the.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/night-of-the-bloody-apes-gorgon-vhs-front.jpg)

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/don%27t%20open%20the%20door%20vci%20vhs%20front.jpg)

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/woman%20who%20willed%20a%20miracle%20usa%20vhs%20front.jpg)

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/curse%20of%20bigfoot%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)

(http://www.bigassbiscuit.com/pics/schoolspirit.jpg)

Thanks for that little insight, I kinda wish I experienced the days of VHS more, though I think I would have hated sleeves though, those things must be really flakey after all these years.

I own this DVD . . .

 :bluesad:

BIG FOOTS ASS AHAGHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I own this DVD, and I can honestly say I love this movie. Not as much as I love "Don't Look In The Basement", but it is demented film-making at its zenith.  The whole bit with the train noises while the couple is in the train car, and then when she steps out onto the porch, the sounds stop, because they aren't really ON a train, just in a remodeled train car.  I damn near wet myself every time I see that scene.

I immediately thought of a Charmin commercial when I saw that one. :teddyr:

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/curse%20of%20bigfoot%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)

I like big butts and I cannot lie....


I'll bet ya Bigfoot has dingleberries.

Dude, this looks like some surrealistic weird dream:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLKEGAbkpyo

I'm guessing about 90% of the curse is his meaty rump...  :tongueout:

Gotta love how the freaked out dog during the closeups keeps barking at the cameraman. 

You haven't been letting her look at the covers of ALL your movies have you?  Cause I imagine a few of them would raise why more questions than you'd want to answer just now...

:)

Nothing naughty there. The horror covers are the ones I have to be careful with, and she naturally goes looking for those. So I've had to explain the cover of Creepshow to her without talking about death or decay. That's not easy.

Fortunately, she seems to like the Godzilla boxes best. And she gets excited about recognizing Arnold on several different action boxes. That led us to a game of identifying Arnold, Chuck Norris, Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, etc. Then we played a game of "how old will I be before you let me watch it" with a bunch of movies. Her idea. She's definitely my daughter.

You sound like you've got an awesome kid.

Also, another film. http://www.critcononline.com/images/savage%20water%20french%20vhs%20front.jpg

(http://www.trashcity.org/BLITZ/BLIT0017.JPG)

I saw this cover while looking around, and it is wretched. Bad Karma (1991)

Makes me think of Neil from the Young Ones.
Llentils spill on the floor) Neil: "Bad Karma!"

The tagline is quite disturbing.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/03/It_Conquered_the_World.jpg) yet, the cover looks like the monster is huge, but the fact is it is a metal pupet

I like that monster's face, it looks so cartoonishly sinister.

Yes I've always been quite fond of that creature, what is it a vegetable from Venus?

More or less, it's a giant intelligent fungus.  Personally, IT CONQUERED THE WORLD is one of my favorite films. 

Ozzymandias speaks: I watched this at work on a computer that isn't hooked up to speakers. I imagined (for fun) maybe some music behind it like the themes from The Double Deckers or the Banana Splits. Then I noticed the kids were singing, so I thought "I'll watch this and see what the music is like. I watched it at home and discovered THERE IS NO MUSIC - only that droning siren. ARGH! That makes it a sureal dream for sure. Then the kids sing and you can't understand it (or I couldn't).

I think this was film MOS with the sound added later.

Ozzymandias has spoken!!!

Here's a few covers that are pretty weak:

(http://horrorsnotdead.com/images/posters/AquaTeen-Final.jpg)
(Movie's as bad as the cover)

--

(http://z.about.com/d/horror/1/0/w/D/-/-/DayofDead.jpg)
(Not the worst zombie movie I've seen, but certainly a crap cover)

--

(http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2005/uglydvds/darko.jpg)

--

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51XK4VVMBGL._SS500_.jpg)

--

(http://9i9i9.net/wp-content/uploads/d183d0b8d0bad0b5d0bdd0b4-d183-d0b1d0b5d180d0bdd0b8-2.jpg)

What exactly is wrong with Aqua Teen Hunger Force's movie cover?  It's a truly excellent painting by a master of the form, Boris Vallejo.  It just looks silly because they're characters that should never be done realistically - but that's the whole point...  Or was that you being ironic?  I can't tell..

Clearly it's not the craftsmanship or technique of the work (being an artist myself I recognize talent), but the subject matter in general. Nothing depicted on the cover (apart from the four characters) was even remotely close to happening in the picture... there's no dinosaurs... there's no barbarian women riding chopped Harlies... there aren't even any f*cking volcanoes in the movie!!! I realize ATHF is supposed to be asinine, but maybe it does it's job just a little too well...

...If they would have put a robotic-duck or even that stupid laser-shooting poodle, at least it would have been in context! Just because it was the designers intention to be lame, doesn't aleviate it from being such.   

That's Aqua Teen for you.  They thrive on randomness. 

Having not seen the Aqua Teen movie I cannot comment on its content, but the poster in question is an overt homage to all the Frank Frazetta Conan book covers, painted by the #2 in fantasy poster art Boris Vallejo. See the poster for National Lampoon's Vacation for another example of this humorous take again painted by Boris. At least that one has the Griswold wagon. That the ATHF one does not depict any actual events in the film is not a surprise.

Just hope you've hidden the more "interesting" stuff in a fairly good hiding place.  

If you need some suggestions, here's a good one: try putting them under her bed.  If she's like most children, she hasn't looked there in ages.

:)

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LZ92yTgKeAQ/SMFocuqn24I/AAAAAAAAEc4/4_K7vz_OIxA/s1600/deathspa.jpg)

(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00008G96A.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg)

LOL!

Ah, I see.  That makes sense. 

I haven't seen the movie, but I understand where you're coming from.  I just look at it and see a really good painting with ridiculous material in it - and I've never liked the show, so I never saw the movie.

Consider yourself lucky... I realize it's a stoner favorite, but I'm not sure even marijuana could rectify this garbage! *BLAH!*

Even more prime examples of badness!

(http://cache.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/2559-1.jpg)

(http://cache.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/2379-1.jpg)

(http://cache.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1863-1.jpg)

(http://cache.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1395-1.jpg)

Keepin' the bad artwork alive....

- TGWD

Was that film from the 70's?

Malice have the same artwork for their 1987 album "Licence To Kill"

(http://www.malicemusic.com/graphics/licensetokill.gif)

Look!

Scrolling down to Robo Vampire felt bizarre; first I see "Robo" and expect to see "Cop" underneath, but instead I get "vampire".

(http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/4720/diamondninjaforcemoonlicx3.jpg)
The cross-eyed ninja!  :bouncegiggle:

(http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/3574/spiderlhorribleinvasionyz8.jpg)
AHH cob-web! AAHH spider!
How they can stretch that out for a whole movie is beyond me!

I gotta bring this one back from the grave to show off some new finds. These covers are from Ghana Africa where artists were hired to create promotional artwork for traveling exhibitionists who toured the country with a TV, VCR and generator. Some of these are absolutely hysterical, especially the James Bond one. You'll know it when you see it. Some of these are not necessarily safe for work though why anybody would get offended beats me.


(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2446/3804595157_f765919c4e_b.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2503/3805417910_22029499de_b.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2624/3804605451_3a45ced8f5_b.jpg)
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3088/3804614795_a03cc796e8_o.jpg)
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3482/3805442368_0c02e0a8e7_o.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2504/3804623587_387b61716e_b.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2617/3804619143_376c0e8f2e_b.jpg)
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3479/3804613767_bde4415050_b.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2653/3805413962_1e00fdfaab_o.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2577/3804625995_160e6e7a4f_o.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2636/3804590793_69b5d1d75c_b.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2467/3804586223_a1bd6c4f28_o.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2440/3805426772_331aacc089_b.jpg)

holy crap they could have at least gotten someone who was interested in art to draw them


stolen bible 2 looks awesome.  it's probably really boring though

AWESOME!
They're kinda charming in a way!

this trailer for stolen bible is insane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBGmewXPYCE

This one had me roaring. Cujo seems to be about a mad experiment to graft the head of an Irish Setter onto the body of a Rottweiler. :bouncegiggle:

Stolen Bible trailer is INSAAAANE. Thanks for the post, Lester. That's the first Nollywood trailer I've ever seen. I guess it explains a little bit about the Nigerian Dead Parrot Sketch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IQqd17p9_0

What.......the........helll..........was........that!

That just made my day. Utterly hilarious!  :bouncegiggle: That trailer should be required viewing for the entire universe!  :bouncegiggle:

Holy hell. If Nigeria invests in a boom mic, they will rule the world.

(http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg124/doubleslick/deathvalley.jpg)

nigerian is actually just loud and distorted english

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Mebbe they hired 5th graders to do it...! An art class project!

Lester, you are my hero.

thank you.  and my hero is scottie for his sick haul!

I love the periodic yelling of "STOLEN BIBLE! STOLEN BIBLE!" :bouncegiggle:

oh man it's got the guy from sturborn grasshopper 1 and 2!!!  I gotta see this

Screw TURKISH STAR WARS - Nigerian cinema is my new true love!

I saw some of Nigerian Titanic on youtube.  it was NOT on a par with the  stolen bible trailer or vhs cover

I think I just had a stroke!

Wow, Jesus sure got off the cross easy in Stolen Bible.

(http://www.tierhorror.de/cover/577_3673.jpg)

Pure cheese for a crappy Fulci flick.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/house%20by%20the%20cemetery%20vestron%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Christ, the kid is doing a horrible job of trying to look like he's having fun.  Even the suit he's riding looks bored.

(http://uraniumcafe-the.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/human-beasts.jpg)

 :buggedout:

Headless Eyes (1971).  Goofy!

(http://www.itsonlyamovie.co.uk/COVERS%2010/HEADLESSS%20EYES.jpg)

Kingdom of the Crystal Sk... what the?

Bless you guys, keep the thread alive; there's so many VHS covers out there yet to find!

- TGWD

Ha! Reminds me of this album I had as a kid:

(http://bp3.blogger.com/_EQXPQvxgn9A/RxmS2Ab8kUI/AAAAAAAABf0/O9ov57pl68g/s320/FrontCoverPhoto2)

Fulci ala Disney?

(http://lh5.ggpht.com/_m0YtPN5vgmI/SZv_iUw4o4I/AAAAAAAAKS4/zxfHw6DzOk8/s800/DirtyFingers.jpg)
EWWW!

(http://retroslashers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/offerings.jpg)
Damn, the cherry cordials are leaking!

(http://retroslashers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/absurd.jpg)
A bloody axe on the sleeve of a horror movie, how absurd! :buggedout:


(http://retroslashers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/dont-open-till-christmas.jpg)
Well I don't wanna open it now, nor ever, I can't even return the gift!

(http://retroslashers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/happybirthdaytome.jpg)
You should probably remove the skewer when you eat!

(http://retroslashers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/initiation.jpg)
A giant hand lights your hair on fire and raises you up to burn a giant eyeball-- you are initiated!

The Initation one definitely has an hidden sexual subtext.  :buggedout:

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/86-1.jpg)
Street Sh*tz ?

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/143-1.jpg)
Cover bare breasts up with a motorcycle and a disembodied head!

why thankyou!

(http://i973.photobucket.com/albums/ae218/rapturemassage/firecracker20monterey20vhs20front.jpg)

"She'll blow you...........away."             well, something sure blows here.

Can we make out any sort of clue as to, other than martial arts, what she does or why she does it?

and did the 'artist' (loose term) HAVE to give her a camel toe????

one more for you...

(http://i973.photobucket.com/albums/ae218/rapturemassage/young20and20free20monterey20vhs20fr.jpg)

"Young and Free........and dead very soon"  who fights a bear with a lit torch??  you're only going to p*ss him off.

and don't let the bear get inside on you, look, he already has a claw on the kid's crotch.  "Hi, I weigh 85 pounds but I am going to go toe to toe with a black bear, because brute force will work, not cunning and quickness."

"Young and Free.........and in need of a protective cup."

Sleep of Death.  So a guy is improperly sleeping on a pillow that's got rope tied onto it.. a cross stabbed into it.. and a disembodied evil head floating above it?  WTF?

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/61-1.jpg)

(http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BNTc1NTU5MTE2OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzA4NDQyMQ@@._V1.jpg)

Not too sure if it's a VHS, but it's pretty bad.

I'd like to SECOND that agreement.

Whatever happened to making not only the film, but the POSTER ART a masterpeice? NoW its just get a picture of the big name a-list star on the front and call it a day. Back in the days of illistration, even if the producers demanded the actor's money making mug on the poster art, it was still a DRAWING or a PAINTING or SOMETHING along those lines. and it looked FANTASTIC! I mean, look at the star wars posters! The Mines of Kilominjarro! Hell, even B-MOVIES had great artwork! Look at Masters of the Universe! and all those cheeply made exploitation fliks of the 70s!

.......MAN .......Is THIS really what we settle for these days? I mean, what is he even DOING in this picture?! Is that an INVISIBLE GUN in his hand?!

(http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/news/00018144.jpg)

Dude! That is an AMAZING illistration! Explain to me why you think that's bad. Just curious.

But he has two lit torches.





Also, his left arm is practically disappearing into his jacket.

^ I think his right arm is his left arm....

 :buggedout:

Now that you mention it, it is kind of awesome.

Soulkeeper.
Don't know what it's about, and by the look of this picture, I don't care.  Pass.

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D1ZZyTOG7tQ/Sn12AXl0JCI/AAAAAAAAFIA/S2ay-7uqRTk/s400/Soulkeeper.jpg)

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/bf/Wild_Women_of_Wongo.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ab/The_Day_the_Earth_Froze_poster_-_1.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/22/FreaksPoster.jpg/391px-FreaksPoster.jpg) This is a crappy cover, but a really scary movie! :teddyr:

That kid looks like the oldest son from Home Improvement. (Zachary Ty Bryan)

(http://img91.imageshack.us/img91/49/picture311e396c94.jpg) (http://img91.imageshack.us/i/picture311e396c94.jpg/)

 :bouncegiggle:

It is.  Check here:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109271/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109271/)

This film will come back to haunt HIS career...oh, right, he doesn't have much of one now.  This might help him.

Wild Women Of Wongo!  Man, that's a brutal film!  :teddyr:

Terror Eyes.  Why don't they show any eyes? 

(http://www.itsonlyamovie.co.uk/cover%20scans/terror%20eyes.jpg)

It's an obvious photoshop, and not a great one.  This appears to have the original image, with the guns in place. 

(http://upload.unlimitlife.com/ib/bangkok_dangerous.jpg)

Here's another example of Photoshop gone awry (a LOT of the DTV Seagal covers feature this).

(http://www.horreur.net/img/affiche-Attack-Force-2006.jpg)

Far as I'm concerned, Photoshop was the worst thing to ever happen to box cover art...

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ruf9JBv9V4U/SkDL8P1dkiI/AAAAAAAACMY/6YmxFzW9LJo/s400/devildoll.jpg)

(http://www.dvdbeaver.com/FILM/DVDReviews18/a%20Shohei%20Imamura%20Vengeance%20Is%20Mine%20DVD%20Review%20Fukush%FB%20suruwa%20wareniari/cover%20Shohei%20Imamura%20Vengeance%20Is%20Mine%20DVD%20Review%20Fukush%FB%20suruwa%20wareniari.jpg)

Nah, Steven Segal was the worst thing ever to happen to box cover art.

I think you missed the point. Aqua Teen is all about illogical randomness. Very rarely does anything make sense in the show and defiantly not the movie. So really it actually makes sense that the cover for ATHF has no relation to what happens in the movie. Its one of those things you just have to go with. Besides it still doesn't mean that the cover sucks its amazing painting done by one of my favorite artists.

Looking at some of these covers brings back memories of the sleazy video stores that had a few rows of "legitimate" movies with sun-faded covers in the front of the store while they sold direct-to-video porn in the back. Geez did those places smell, too.

Gorgon, Wizard and Continental Video all had the most cheesy artwork on their boxes.. and they were BIG, too!

(http://i434.photobucket.com/albums/qq64/voltron_014/demonpara1.jpg)

Also, Video Gems had some poor artwork, but they were nothing compared to Rae Don - a company which specialized in some of the most horrendous movies ever.

why does this remind me of R.O.T.O.R.?

I think this deserves its own topic.  I never understood why some video stores had a certain smell.  And I don't think it was related to the porn.

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/bloodofthevampiregorgonvhsfront.jpg)

Okay, really, that's the best someone could come up with?  This could be the cover for about several thousand movies out there. 

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/summerofterrormpivhsfront.jpg)

I don't know.  This cover looks awfully terrifying.  I feel like that cabbage patch doll from that Awkward Family Photos pic should be superimposed somewhere on there.

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/legacyofhorrorgorgonvhsfront.jpg)

Is his beard made out of steel wool?  He scrubs his victims to death with his hairy chin! 

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/greatalligatorgorgonvhsfront.jpg)

Oh, that alligator.  He's so great!  He was a big help at the bake sale fundraiser this weekend. 

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/frankenstein80gorgonvhsfront.jpg)

So, he bashed her on the neck with his bone and somehow caused a contusion?  Sounds pornographic. 

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/frankenstein1973gorgonvhsfront.jpg)

Looks like all Frankenstein's monster wants is a beer. 

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/draculasgreatlovegorgonvhsfront.jpg)

...followed by its sequel, "Dracula's Money Shot."  Did he pick that chick up here in Spokane?  Looks like one of our hookers got loose.

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/diesisterdiegorgonvhsfront.jpg)

She's fleeing in terror from the run-on sentence. 

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/christmaslilliesofthefieldmpivhsfro.jpg)

Jesus loves the little children, all the little children in his soup!

(http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/Joe_the_Destroyer/bloodspatteredbridegorgonvhsfront2.jpg)

Is that... Jennifer Tilly?  What is she stabbing that's causing the inexplicable blood?

he's a freakin crocodile!

Or would that be a crock?  Sounds like the movie in general..

Hmmm... weird you should mention that, cause where I live in Southern Illinois most video stores also had tanning salons in them, so they'd have that "tanning" smell.  (Weird cause, I never saw that in video stores in Missouri, maybe it's a local thing, or MO's the exception).  I do remember one video store also did photo development and had one of those movie popcorn makers, so there was a mix of developer and old popcorn in the air.

Yummy :teddyr:

Gotta love the artwork on this winner"

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/73-1.jpg)

Looks like a green, retarded gargoyle.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/curse%20of%20the%20demon%20goodtimes%20vhs%20front.jpg)

 :bouncegiggle:

Thanks.  My sides hurt now.

And what's the the random ass floating picture on the left? 

She's stuck inside a burning clock.. and it's struck by lightning?  WTF?

(http://www.itsonlyamovie.co.uk/cover%20scans/after%20midnight.jpg)

Is it just me, or does that tagline make absolutely no sense?


The one kid's a little too high? Just crop his head off.


You gotta love the drawn-in-marker font. Reminds me of a school project from the days before desktop publishing.

...And that's a bad thing!?

Not a VHS, but this one definitely deserves some recognition...

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51v0PS9ALQL._SS500_.jpg)

Here's one:

(http://i806.photobucket.com/albums/yy348/SPazzo_1493/DeathRace2000.jpg)

I just bought this DVD and thought the cover looked crappy, so I scanned it just for this thread.  If the cover's this bad, I can't wait to see the print quality!  :buggedout:

Beautiful example of what we were talking about earlier in this thread. Just take your clip art CD, your copy of Photoshop and a couple of frames grabbed from the movie and you too can create professional-looking box art to replace that shabby painting some artist did back in olden times. Jeez.

And I love how these things always have prominent pictures of the stars, and give top billing to a supporting character who happened to get famous after making the movie. Somewhere around here I have a copy of Parasite, starring Demi Moore with her face plastered on the cover.

Honestly, I don't see why this wouldn't sell DVDs:
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3510/4079684812_803e2435e5.jpg)
Wow, there must be some mistake. Sly is third in the credits on this one. :wink:

Not VHS but still pretty bad:

(http://cover7.cduniverse.com/MuzeVideoArt/Large/91/213991.jpg)

Whats worse than a cover art with IMDB blurb?

(http://cover7.cduniverse.com/MuzeVideoArt/Large/48/222248.jpg)

Ben Affleck was smart enough to get his name removed but his mug is still there. Fail  :teddyr:

Curse of the What The Hell Are Those Things And What Do They Have To Do With Blue Lights?

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1240-1.jpg)

My god that Cannibal Camp cover is a shocker unbeleivable.

"From one of the producers of American Pie." That's about an order of magnitude lamer than saying "from the people who brought you..."

(http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/143834.1020.A.jpg)
(http://johneaves.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/giant_gila_monster.jpg)
(http://www.averyant.com/Averys5.gif)

the FIRST happy birthday to me dvd was AWFUL.

(http://ak.buy.com/db_assets/large_images/206/40251206.jpg)

LOOK AT THAT! She looks like the friggin' Cheshire Cat! At what point in the movie do her eyes GLOW? and come to think of it, is that chick even IN the MOVIE?

oh photoshop. what you can do

(http://titulky.icr.cz/mini/SweetInsanity.jpg)

OK, so this cover is coll, but that's the point. I rented this piece of crap thinking it was about some cool killer goth chick, and it turned out to be about a lesbian goth chick that was molested and I never even found out who the heck was killing everyone (it wasn't her). Plus, she doesn't look anything like on the cover.

I thought it was Edward Scissor Hands's sister!

Hey Infogeek, here ya go! (http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/brainiac/monster_a_go_go.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/64/The_Incredible_Melting_Man.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ea/Dangerdeathray.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0c/Red_Zone_Cuba.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ee/Girlgoldboots.jpg)(TOO BAD!)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0a/Deadly_bees.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/ce/Pumaman.jpg)
ALL ABOVE HAVE BEEN SUBMITTED TO MST3K RIFFING!

The Incredible Melting Man one is cool.... :tongueout:

Yes, I have to say I quite like that Melting Man poster.

Killer disembodied eyeballs colored with a red marker from space!

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1966-1.jpg)

(http://www.animaldisguise.com/images/ironmaster.jpg)
Seriously, go see this movie! The front cover suggests it's a Sword and Sorcery Fantasy film, while the back says it's a movie about cavemen. Further more check out the sword on the front cover-- how the hell can anyone swing that! Also note how the artist was reluctant to draw the sword holders face.

(http://www.amoeba.com/dynamic-images/blog/Phil/landofdoomfront.jpg)
A hand crossbow? Really?!

I like how a lot of these pieces of VHS cover artwork look like early thrash and death metal cover art.

I love how many fantasy B-Movies have hot redheads on their covers. :teddyr:

Nukie - you should check out Land of Doom.  It's terrible but actually pretty entertaining.  I also have to comment that, even if a hand crossbow is ridiculous (the one in the movie is very similar to the one in the Road Warrior, BTW) that cover artwork is actually REALLY good.

(http://cheesy-movies.com/movies/a/images/alien_terror/alien-terror-1981-vhs-cover.jpg)

I think ones like that are amongst the worst, due to the total lack of any creativity at all.

Plus, since these kinds of films have a dead body as their artwork, they remind people of snuff.

True, but you know it's going to be a bad movie because of the cover, as it features people in fruity costumes!

I'm actually kind of fond of all the old hand drawn covers but wow that first posting with the Cannibal Campout or whatever has to be one of the WORST I've ever seen! LOL :cheers:

Ugh.  Don't mind me.  I don't need that memory surfacing.  The movie poster is terrible, but the DVD release from Something Weird is horrendous.

Speaking of bad covers:

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/93/Gh5-cover.jpg)

Oh sure, it isn't a movie, but I have never seen such lazy cover work in my life!  This thing tells nothing about what is going on or what it has to do with guitars or with being a hero.  I mean look at the previous game's cover:

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4c/Guitar_Hero_World_Tour.jpg)

It at least shows us what is going on! 

Well, that would be a guitar carry case and there's some leads an a foot pedal on the ground. So it does have something to do with guitars. Now, if only the game had something to do with guitars....  :lookingup:

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: good one Circus :thumbup:

Good point, but think about it.  What captures your attention more when looking at video game cover.  A guitar case or someone actually playing a guitar?

I wish they all would.  :wink:

Agreed on the Guitar Hero cover.  How bland!
This one has NOTHING to do with the title.. or anything.
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/gold%20runner%20interglobal%20vhs%20front.jpg)

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4f/Incrediblystrangecreatures.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/95/Space_mutiny2008dvd.jpg)

I hate that cover!  HATE IT!

THIS is the only kind of cover this movie should have....

(http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu352/SlackJack_CM/spacemutinydvd.jpg)

Period.

- TGWD

Look out!  There's a giant head behind you!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/blade%201972%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)

What a stupid cover.. it's like, "Hey buddy!  Long time no see!  Let me buy you a drink!"

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/legend%20of%20the%20seven%20golden%20vampires%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Never seen myself but from what I've heard the movie is pretty bad. So maybe the cover art is most fitting after all ;)

You make that sound like all titles previously mentioned in this thread with bad cover art weren't already terrible to begin with. XD

 :bouncegiggle: true, but then again I added a "wink"  :smile:

Really, 7 Golden Vampires wasn't too bad.  It should've been better though IMO.

This one looks like she's thinking, "Hey, pervert!  Let go of my clothes!  And what's with that giant Peter Cushing head staring at me??  GROSS!!!"

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/shock%20waves%20american%20vhs%20front.jpg)

The disembodied Peter Cushing head reminded me of a classic poster that is pretty bad on closer examination.
(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4065/4282273747_f7dddd78d8_o.jpg)
Don't get me wrong. I like this style of poster, and I happen to have this one mounted next to my TV. That's given me lots of opportunity to study it.

It's got some good things going for it. Heroes striking action poses, giant Vader looming over them, Death Star battle in the background, but that's where it gets kind of shoddy. It's like the artist tried to cram in too many things and didn't worry about tying it all together. With all its little images, it actually has a lot in common with the badly photoshopped DVD covers of today. There's actually two X-wing battle scenes going on there, plus a little chunk of Tattooine that makes no sense at all. Yes, it's Luke's farm, but it serves no purpose here. They aren't even standing on ground. The artist has pretty much sized the characters according to importance, so we have the droids and Chewbacca hiding behind Luke's leg. The two great British actors needed to be recognized, so they get a couple of floating heads that are not to the same scale as anything else. Cushing is rendered in a monochromatic style. I suppose that's because he's bad. And while the other heroes are standing, Han is running, and he looks like he's going to circle around and plow right into Luke.

When I was a kid, I used to have the Hildebrandt version of the poster on my bedroom wall. And I always thought that one was cheesy. Darth Vader has one eye much bigger and flatter than the other, and it was apparently drawn before the roles were cast, so Luke looks like George Kennedy. But apart from that, it's actually much better. Luke and Leia are standing on Tattoine, with the farm behind them. The droids are standing with them, to the same scale but farther back. A clearly defined Death Star battle is going on in the sky above them, and then we have Vader (the only piece not integrated into the scene) looming over everything in a threatening manner. The composition is much better all around, and the style also has more of an old-fashioned pulp sci-fi feel to it.
(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4019/4283018970_01ea00d107_o.jpg)

Yeah.. depth perception/size is all out of whack in the first picture.

Um.. why does he have a disembodied girl's head on his left shoulder?  And is the blond girl in the pool with the girl being strangled by the invisible strangler?  If so, damn she's big!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/invisible%20strangler%20video%20treasures%20vhs%20front.jpg)

(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/10011692/photo_13_hires.jpg)

Not a vhs cover but a movie poster for some old Japanese flick which for some reason the trailer has become popular on the websites lately. Pretty lame if you ask me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN0HVJ5tkIM
I watched the trailer and to be honest I don't see what all the fuss is about it. I've seen far crazier Japanese movie trailers than this.

Also
(http://www.ahashare.com/uploads/images/234980.jpg)
(http://www.impawards.com/2004/posters/decoys.jpg)
(http://meonfilm.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/monsturd-poster.jpg)

Ok, that made me laugh out loud when I saw it.

^ Me too  :bouncegiggle:

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/fe/Slimepeople.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/99/Giantleeches.jpg)

This has been posted before but yeah, it's still gross  :bluesad:

I think Monsturd does pretty much exactly what it sets out to do.  It's gross, but it means to be. 

And if you look closely, Leia appears to be missing a finger on the hand holding the gun.  You try holding a pistol like that, with a index finger running along the gun and your middle finger pulling that trigger. Doesn't really work.

That's basically an inferior version of the CED/Betamax cover..

(http://www.yameenmusic.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/ced-star-wars.jpg)

Yep, the Hildebrandt poster is a reworking of that design. The Hildebrandt brothers were brought in to basically bash out a quick alternate poster. They were told to go for more of a comic book feel, and didn't actually have photos of Luke and Leia (I looked that up, because the generic characters baffled me).

It didn't get used in theatres, but stores sold a lot of them. I had one on my wall for years.

look at the top!
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1d/Women_planet.JPG)
is it me, or is he only wearing a loin cloth in DENIM?
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/12/AtorBlademaster.jpg)

What..?  She lives in the sewers?

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/night%20owl%20goodtimes%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Umm.. did a private plane crash into a jumbo jet airliner.. and then fly out of it?  WTF??

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/airport%201975%20goodtimes%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Wow, the Hildebrandts?  It's ok, but I've seen considerably better work from them.  Apparently they had to do it in 36 hours.  Probably helps explain it.

Their other Star Wars work is better.  Like this:

(http://www.brothershildebrandt.com/Images/millenium.jpg)

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4025/4316153372_f5e8e8208c.jpg)

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4022/4315517067_329d3c4be1.jpg)

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4022/4315517169_8e8ec1ce26.jpg)

The Equalizer 2000 cover is awesome!  :thumbup:

And the chick is wearing hot..almost nothing :buggedout: :buggedout:

SuperGirl: The Awkward Years

Yeah, I know she's looking through a peep hole-but the cover makes it look like she's got X-Ray vision.

Who'd give $74,95 for that crap?

 I wonder if that was the original price tag.  some vhs tapes were super expensive when they first came out

Smarkus looks awesome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwD4vXOPrGk

"no need to fear, smarkus here"  

I'm afraid you forgot the "is"

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4025/4316153372_f5e8e8208c.jpg)
She's giving birth to a car!

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4022/4315517067_329d3c4be1.jpg)
It'll teach you to count to three!

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4022/4315517169_8e8ec1ce26.jpg)
Please like a hot chick would ever have to spy on a guy like that!

For those of you who have suffered thru this one, who could forget the guy yelling JOE BAAAAAAAAASSSSSS in the movie.

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4071/4317685658_a67dfb47dc.jpg)


 JP Morgan, Pat Cooper, Linda Blair and Rip Taylor? Thats one hell of a show.

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4013/4316951665_e0712df4dd_b.jpg)


This is a must see BTW.

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2699/4317685860_9f3bbf636e.jpg)


Nuff said

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4062/4316951485_25e8bc358a.jpg)

Okay.. she's straddling a giant porcelain mask.. not sure what the eyes are bleeding from.. but the mouth.. yuck!  Must be her time of month?

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/savage%20lust%20aip%20vhs%20front.jpg)

"I'm gonna KILL the a**hole who drew on my face while I was passed out drunk!"

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/hellmaster%20aip%20vhs%20front%20small.jpg)

And I know this thread is about bad video artwork, but the title is just so stupid.. wouldn't 24 hours to midnight BE midnight???  
Oh, and "Look out Seagal!  Watch out Van Damme!" isn't the most shining of endorsements..

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/24%20hours%20to%20midnight%20aip%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Must be a relative of Leroy Jenkins.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/master%20blaster%20prism%20vhs%20front.jpg)
I got my finger on the... trigger? Not sure how anybody could actually shoot with that gun.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/project%20shadowchaser%20prism%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Looks like gay porn to me ;)

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/hush%20little%20baby%20prism%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Somebody is begging for help because a) the person is bad at math or b) is scared of bleeding apples.

(http://image.allmusic.com/00/adg/cov200/dru900/u926/u92641jy8gu.jpg)
Odd torch holding position.

The gun really goes well with all the camo. Should blend right in. Actually, it looks like his daughter glued a Barbie to the side of it, and he didn't have time to pry it off before he had to go out and shoot somebody.


For Shatner, it seems perfectly natural. :teddyr:

Wow, it takes a real cooking pro to get grill marks that perfect.

What an original movie. I suppose adding pins would have put them on shaky legal ground, even if they called him Tacktop or Nail Noggin. As it is, we'll just have to settle for Steakface, victim of a disfiguring barbecue accident.

Or maybe they could've called him Grillmaster, but that might be the name of a tv chef.

Or a brand of gas barbecue.

So her p***y is the trigger?  Odd..

Is that smoke from the muzzle, or do her feet just really smell?

Not only do they smell, but apparently they squirt blood, too!

Um, I dont think that's the LEGS that are squirting blood.....

Did they TRY to make that chikclook like a blow up doll?

And as for THIS one, I usually LIKE the termina...WAAAAIITAMINIT.
(http://img.movieberry.com/static/photos/35946/poster.jpg)
See, thats the phucking shame of all these dvds of old movies coming out. They think the original artwork is to outdated or something so they just slap together some lame photoshoped mess that has NOTHING to do wih the movie.
Just look how cool the ORIGINAL artwork was!
(http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/203567.1020.A.jpg)

What really bugs me about it is the artwork is usually no more dated than the movie inside. The original artwork is going to appeal MORE to someone who will actually want the movie. Rather than please the people who like it, they'd rather p**s off people who thought they were buying something else. And that Class of 1999 cover goes way beyond the normal BS. It's just plain fraud, as far as I'm concerned. There is no reason for a design like that, except to misrepresent the movie and trick people into buying it.

Wow.. the Silver Surfer in a suit and tie has 4 teens trapped in his head!

Category: Bad spelling

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/project%20kill%20paragon%20vhs%20front.gif)

This poster looks cool and thanks to whoever posted it because now I want to see this movie.

What?  Some guy is walking down a road, approaching 2 giant women, armed with a knife.  All the women have to do is squish him with a fist.  End of movie.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/contagion%201987%20sony%20vhs%20front.jpg)

I think the lunatic(s) in question designed the art here!  The hell.. a couple standing on a brain?  With spiders on it?  And a flying telephone..?  God help me!!!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/lunatics%20a%20love%20story%20sony%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Ahh, the 90s.

The knife isn't so silly. I think it's a natural reaction to defend yourself when giant women suddenly emerge from a spatial rift in front of you. I mean, maybe he was driving on that road and almost crashed into them. He's scared sh!tless but full of road rage, so he grabs something sharp from the glove box and goes to give them hell. "Hey, you crazy broads! Get your dimensional gateway out of the damn road! Some of us have to get to work!"

Wow.. it almost sounds like a better plot than what's probably in the movie itself!

I suppose the eyes are supposed to make this guy look crazy or demonic or something. Reminds me of a Monty Python animation.
(http://www.kvikmyndir.is/images/news/9-1.jpg)
...or a Palmolive commercial. "You're soaking in it."


And what is with this guy's face? And why does everybody have "Barney the Dinosaur" teeth?
(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/71-1.jpg)


You know, I'd probably scream too if somebody stabbed me in the back with a couple of tombstones.
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_APOTJWw25Hs/SEuJ69BNg3I/AAAAAAAAAHc/G9T0gtMId0o/s320/fear+vhs+front.jpg)

Ya know, i kinda LIKE this one.

Yeah, it's a good cover. I just find the proportions and the forced perspective to be a bit out of whack.

Yes, two tiny gravestones instead of one normal sized one!

Yeah, it looks like his jaw should drop down about a foot, and a super-long tongue should roll out with the Python members' names on it, like the opening credits for one of their movies.  Then a giant foot would squish him.

It totally does, check out the layouts!
(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/bestselling-movies-2006/641-1.jpg)

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/2612-1.jpg)

The monster must have really short legs, or the oceanic shelf must have a real declining slope.

DERR Fire a gun DERRRR!
(http://dawnofthedave.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/strike-commando.jpg)

YA SEE?! THATS what im TALKIN' ABOUT!! If they would just use the ORIGINAL arkwork insteada some misleading photoshoped DOOKIE, they might actually BENIFIT from it and the film could become more POPULAR!!
JEEZIS!

And vukxfiles, I found out about this movie the same way! I saw the poster at a horror convention and decided to hunt it down!

You would think they would have gotten a better looking broad for this cover.

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4055/4337262807_fc74aac045.jpg)


I'm shocked that this classic hasn't made the list.

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4048/4337262833_d1d215b3e7_o.jpg)


I like to think the Klan dude got bucked off the horse, broke his neck, and is squirming in his own poop...or maybe its just a bad cover.

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2757/4337262941_a742929756.jpg)

I know it's just sticker wear, but it looks like a flying log is about to take out the Klansman who's already about to fall off his horse.

Strange juxtaposition on this one.. the review stating she's "a beautiful woman" when we can see skull where the skin's peeled off.  Bleargh!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/madonna%20a%20case%20of%20blood%20ambition%20atlas%20vhs%20front2.jpg)

And this one.. wow, this is just stupid!  A knife stuck in the street (rather difficult to manage) with blood, money and.. what the hell is that in the blood?

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/fresh%20kill%20city%20lights%20vhs%20front.jpg)

They look like there running across an I-BEAM high above the city to me!

That is either an unusually big horse, an unusually tiny klansman, or the horse is much closer to the viewer.




Looks to me like somebody's pinned some toast and peanut butter to the street with a knife, or maybe a burnt Pop Tart. That must be it. Guy burnt his Pop Tart, got mad, pinned to the middle of a highway with a large kitchen knife, and all the berry filling leaked out around it. Then he went on a killing spree against people in blue pantyhose, all because of an overdone breakfast pastry.

Looks to me like somebody's pinned some toast and peanut butter to the street with a knife, or maybe a burnt Pop Tart. That must be it. Guy burnt his Pop Tart, got mad, pinned to the middle of a highway with a large kitchen knife, and all the berry filling leaked out around it. Then he went on a killing spree against people in blue pantyhose, all because of an overdone breakfast pastry.
[/quote]

Makes sense!  :bouncegiggle:
Seriously, that's a pretty inane cover.  I don't know how I can top that.

I'm not familiar with that particular rifle. I mean, it looks like some kind of teeny tiny Gatling gun on the end of a regular assault rifle, but all the barrels are firing at once. It has a scope that appears to be completely blocked by the large open sight, which is probably why the scope is pointing off to the right and not straight down the barrel. Why that front sight is there is anyone's guess, since there's no rear sight. But none of that matters because Mr. Don't Ask, Don't Tell isn't bothering to aim it anyway, probably because there's no stock - just a pistol grip placed unusually high on the rear of the weapon. This gun is also unique in that it's fed by both a clip and a belt at the same time. I'm not sure where those large cartridges are going, however, since the barrels look like they couldn't be much larger than .22 calibre.

And then there are the problems with the picture itself, like the faulty perspective. It looks like the barrels flare out from the front of the gun, which also appears to be slightly bent. And since the artist apparently can't draw a foreshortened circle, it looks like the grenade launcher has an angled "baloney cut" on the end, and the scope appears to have a large chrome ball in front of it. Altogether, I'd say that's just about the worst rendering of a gun I've seen on any movie poster.

A lot of work obviously went into this cover. What I find really funny is Patrick kind of looks like Pat Boone in this picture. Beware of Patrick Boone. He's in a coma, yet he can kill with his high-contrast face and dodged, hand-tinted eyes.
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_a2DZzPSW9nE/SoCyjalJ0oI/AAAAAAAAAR0/0KJB_Wv9JgY/s1600/patrick.jpg)

Yeah.. I can see him saying, "Am I that transparent?"

"Dammit! I'm going to march right over and tell Ed 'Big Daddy' Roth to keep his dog in his own yard!"

Actually, it looks like the dog's laughing.  Like the guy told him a joke.  "A cat walks into a bar.."  ARF!  BWA HA HA HA!!!

It looks like she sharted while this guy was trying to rob her with a kitchen knife, and both are now trying to run away in embarrassment.   This is why I don't eat Tex-Mex fast food very often...  :buggedout:

I'm sure Andrew can verify that this gun is 100% legit. :teddyr:

Neat-o.. (not) the skull of a ZZ Top member!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/invitation%20to%20hell%20sony%20vhs%20front.jpg)

And I know this is supposed to be a silly movie.. but still, that's a pretty dumb cover.  And wait-- is that Dr. Forrester from MST3K?  "Send 'em the movie, Frank!"

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/night%20of%20the%20laughing%20dead%20super%20video%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Actually, I think he looks like Gerrit Graham.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/13%20ghosts%201960%20goodtimes%20vhs%20front.jpg)
What's even going on here?
Is that a floating chefs hat in the background?

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/terror%20goodtimes%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Grabbiest cover ever!

Yes it is!  And there's also a disembodied arm laying across the green guy's arm!

And yes, that does look like Gerrit Graham.  Years before his luminary status as Bud the CHUD.

(http://paisley.presys.com/graphics/breaker.jpg)

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Z6TZG1H1L._SL500_AA280_.jpg)

(http://www.wrongsideoftheart.com/wp-content/gallery/posters-b/breaker_breaker_poster_02.jpg)

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/img/amg/videos/drv700/v799/v79953qg3v8.jpg) (http://media.mightyape.net.nz/serv/get-image.dyn?imageId=4433694) (http://www.famouswhy.com/ddd/admin/images/breaker!_breaker!.jpg)

(http://www.musicman.com/00pic/2859.jpg)

Wow, five covers and at least three different styles of facial hair on Chuck. I don't remember him shaving off a beard one piece at a time in that movie.

He looks kinda like David Bowie in the first one!

Even I hate these movies, something must be wrong here.
(http://tcotrel.tripod.com/gone/deadlinedvdcover.jpg)

It's a trilogy, yet there are two movies here?
It looks like they are having a hard time being gone in 60 seconds.

I Hate Gone in 60 Seconds two cuz it is really not a sequel, it's just crap put together.

i used to own the gone in 60 seconds 2/deadline auto theft dvd. didn't care for the old footage from the original 60 seconds or the junkman reused in those movies. I still prefer The Junkman. I remember at one time (maybe still does?), The junkman held the world record for most cars destroyed in a movie.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/fix%20world%20video%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Woman in bikini: No, giant bodyless man!  Don't shoot him!
Giant Bodyless man: Out of the way, woman!  He's gotta die!  And if my bullets don't take him down, my jet, car and speedboat will!

I love breaker breaker.  Probably my second favorite Norris after Lone Wolf Mcquade

I have the first one.  Not bad, I will try and scan it an put it up.  Funny movie.

Later,

John

How about lame marketing!
(http://haal9000.com/dvd2002-3/coming/munchie.jpg)
Hey kids, if you love pizza, you'll love Munchie!
He's just so cool in his leather jacket and all...

So, does he actually ride a flying pizza like a skateboard in the movie, or is that just artistic licence?

You know, they've had the technology for flying pizza skateboards for years, but the government won't let them release them because they're thought to be too dangerous/delicious for children.

Links are not working.

I see them alright.

I heard something similar, except that it was being suppressed by an unholy alliance of Big Oil and Burger King.

I heard that they were all set to go into production but they just couldn't arrange the dough.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/357%20magnum%201977%20world%20video%20vhs%20front.jpg)

Woman: Uh.. honey?  There's a little guy behind you with a tiny gun at your back.
Man: And there's a guy behind you, pointing at you and holding a gun.  Aw crap.. there's a giant hand about to hit me on the head with his gun, isn't there?

Super Dude, you really need to look more excited.  I mean look at it.  You've got guns that Dirty Harry would kill for.  Oh wait.  They're apparently only those little playdo shapers. Well, at least you can balance a woman on top of one of them and you're several hundred feet high.  Plus your name is SuperDude! 

A guy called SuperDude isn't allowed to look that grumpy!  ... Of course with that name, you should probably be dressed like a surfer and wear a cape, but we'll worry about that after the grumpy thing is taken care of. 

(http://img54.imageshack.us/img54/93/superdudeposter01.jpg) (http://img54.imageshack.us/i/superdudeposter01.jpg/)

Who needs an artist? Just use a grainy, high-contrast photo and some watercolours. Nobody will ever know it isn't a painting.
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/nightmare%20in%20wax%20interglobal%20vhs%20front.jpg)

GAWD that movie is borring. A friend of mine found it at a thrift store. We tried watching it. we TRIED.

This was also on the movie poster.  Somehow it scared me as a kid.  But this is silly: a disembodied woman's hand with a cat head grafted onto it?  It looks like Thing from the Addams Family had a wife who was the unfortunate victim of a scientific experiment involving a cat head.   :teddyr:

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/legacy%201979%20vhs%20front2.jpg)

LOL. I remember thinking at the time what a goofy poster that was. A lot of horror movies used to scare me as a kid, or rather the ads on TV did. The Legacy was no exception, but seeing that picture in the newspaper ads, my reaction was more WTF? At first glance, I thought it was a weird little ghost with a cat's head, which actually would have made more sense than what I saw on closer examination. A cat's head with a hand grafted on the bottom? I dunno, maybe it's just two separate things combined, but it sure looks like a weird-ass science experiment.

I saw The Legacy for the first time several years back.  Boring and stupid, even with Roger Daltrey in it!

This could very well be the most blah vhs cover I've ever seen.  How boring!

(http://cdn2.ioffer.com/img/item/100/024/121/o_29DwuNdg5VOkBb4.jpg)

The problem with that one, for me, is that my first impression is of someone inside looking out, and then it becomes clear it's the other way around. That's the problem with a black figure at a window in a black wall - not much in the way of reference points. That and there is nothing overtly threatening about the guy. Once again, you have to think about the situation, and by that time, it's too late for a real gut reaction. I'd have made the woman a bit easier to discern, and given the silhouette a knife or some kind of weapon. That would at least convey an immediate sense of danger.

And what exactly is going on outside? It's pitch dark in the room, yet it appears to be either sunrise or sunset outside. Or maybe a thunderstorm. Or the background from a Ralph Bakshi cartoon.

I'd have to agree with you.  It's vague at first glance.  Someone could stick a different title on the bottom like, "Let Me Out of This Hellhole" or "Dumbass, You Left Your Teenager Outside" and I wouldn't know the difference except that there's a lot of darkness. 

It looks to me like more attention was put into the dark clouds behind the "deadly" intruder.  Hell, I would warrant that the activity in the clouds is probably more interesting than the movie.  I'm guessing this film starts off lightly tense, drops off for about 45 minutes, then tries to pull it all together in the last act.  I'm only making that guess based on the cover art, of course. 

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/nightmare%20never%20ends%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
See: The world conquered by Yu Suzuki!  See: Evil search lights coming out of his eyes!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/dream%20no%20evil%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Axe + strawberry jam + satin sheets = COVER ART!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/interzone%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Portrait of a Rambo knock off

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/magic%20sword%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Did someone order this "cover" out of a Scholastic Newsletter, complete with markers?

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/poor%20pretty%20eddie%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Alright, honey, I need you to draw a movie cover for me.  Draw a guy that looks like Peter Petrelli holding a knife, and throw in an ugly hooker for good measure.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/nightmare%20never%20ends%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Hey buddy!  Turn your high beams off!  I can't see!
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/dream%20no%20evil%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
It looks like plastic was put all over the floor in a basement where flooding was imminent.  A mouse scurrying underneath the plastic was killed by the chop of a hatchet.  Eek!
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/interzone%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
Yeah, very bland cover.  Just some doofus off the street posing.  Woo!  I'm a stud!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/magic%20sword%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
This one makes me think the giant knight is saying, "Ere now!  That'll be enough smooching for you two!  Bugger off!", while the two-headed dragon looks to be in bad shape with 3 holes blasted through it and blood dripping from its maws.  "Fear our fire, puny humans! (cough cough)  We will crush you and burn down your vill.. villa.. ugh.. villages." (hack wheeze)
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/poor%20pretty%20eddie%20star%20classics%20vhs%20front.jpg)
I guess they needed to stress just how BIG the killing was!  Stupid.. and she looks like a store mannequin.  How is this cover supposed to draw interest?[/quote]

Eye lasers aside, I had no idea the SS was letting in Native Americans, particularly ones with fluffy 80s hair. Maybe they were conflicted about it, since he's also been set on fire.

They had to join the times and be equal opportunity.  People on fire have rights, you know!

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/exorcism%20all%20seasons%20vhs%20front.jpg)

I see this and think that the Devil better get a good dermotologist and dentist.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/invasion%20of%20the%20mindbenders%20atlas%20vhs%20front.jpg)

When women use highbeams to find a man to marry.  HAHAHAHA

(http://www.notrecinema.com/images/cache/airport-80-:-concorde-wallpaper_235601_7536.jpg)
is it me, or does the missile has an eye on it? :teddyr:
(http://cache.io9.com/assets/images/io9/2008/07/_12151023224951.jpg)
I know it's not a VHS, but the title does mean something!
(http://www.peek-productions.com/HOBGOBLINS.jpg)
wow, the hobgoblins has that "I'm gona f**k you b***h!" look about it

Well, the movie was a disaster, but probably not what they were trying for.  Maybe if they had spent more time making a movie that was actually a parody of disaster movies instead of a movie that was a parody of everything that they could think of written by somebody that had their sense of humor surgically removed, they might have had something. 



Be fair.  It's Hobgoblins.  That poster makes the movie look much more interesting than it actually was. 

Um.. it looks like the hobgoblin might already be inside her.  :buggedout:

I think you mean 'missile,' unless that thing is full of Catholic prayers. :teddyr:

Cause nothing says SEXY like a girl smelling her own armpit...

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4062/4468019149_217755753f_o.jpg)


I guess something came between Ethel and a hair salon...

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2750/4468793588_d9de2313dd_o.jpg)


Something tells me this guy is not cheating death in this movie...

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4021/4468019089_5f2153a87e_o.jpg)

Three butts, two eyes and one very bald head...

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4012/4468793598_0cb550b9cb_o.jpg)

It looks like the gun is shooting a man at that helicopter. 

(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/coverv/38/113938.jpg)

Here's a great idea: Let's take a slightly gory reptile flick and edit it to hell, then give it this safe-looking, Land Before Time-ish VHS cover.  Oh, but we have to remind the consumers this is a horror film.  Let's give the plesiosaur sharp teeth and add a dead body in for good measure.

Wow, I've got to see that dinosaur flick!   :smile:

Hmm.. some giant guy is rising out of the river, trying to see what some gal is staring at in an odd manner while her boyfriend lies in a bloody heap on the street.  But these weird colored streaks are in his way, as well as palm trees.  "Hey!  What's going on over there?  I can't see with all this foliage and color in my way!"
BTW, what does this have to do with Castro...?
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/miami%20vendetta%20continental%20vhs%20ad.jpg)

They're ripping off Scarface and Miami Vice at the same time. I'm guessing the movie, aside from being in Florida, is not much like either. Love the expression on her face. It's like 50% terror and 50% "Duh..."

There's an uncut DVD available from Tokyo Shock under the clunky name "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds."  Very b-licious, but some have hated it.  It was also on the first season of MST3K.

Wait, I'm confused... is the movie called "Fat Ethel II" or is it "CRAZY Fat Ethel II"?  (Or is "crazy" just something they threw in the background.) 

And I'm not even going to ask what happened to the first Fat Ethel (movie).

The movie IS called Crazy Fat Ethel II.  The original film is called "Criminally Insane".  There is a 12-year gap between the 2 films!

From what I've read, the first two films were released under two different names. Crazy Fat Ethel OR Criminally Insane.  Apparently there's also a Criminally Insane 3 and 4, but they weren't released as Crazy Fat Ethel 3 and 4... from what I can tell anyway.

CRIMINALLY INSANE looks and feels like an early John Waters movie, with a heaping tablespoon of Andy Milligan stirred in. In other words: fun for all!

The sequel is almost unwatchable: it's "filmed" on cheap 80's video tape and is made up almost entirely of (Crazy Fat) Ethel 'remembering' long stretches of the first movie. I can't even image what any additional sequels look like.  :buggedout:

Director Nick Milard and star Priscilla Alden also made a couple of DEATH NURSE movies in the 80s which are supposed to be worse than CRAZY FAT ETHEL 2.

Good news! DEATH NURSE 1 and 2 are on Youtube! I bet DEATH NURSE 2 is mostly  Death Nurse (Priscilla Alden!) remembering footage from DEATH NURSE 1.

Anyhoo - here's some of DEATH NURSE 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG0a7mlVLZw&feature=related

As someone keenly observed on Youtube: "Where do you have to be in your life to agree to act in 'Death Nurse 2'?"


 

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61baXoq17RL.jpg)
First off, the monster does NOT have eyes! Second, the monster is suppose to look like a mutated tree! third, the two creatures at the bottom, only the guy in the middle is shown, and he is to have his eyes open! Fourth, the airplane in the top right corner is suppose to be a military DC-3! 

Those errors aside, that's actually a badass movie poster IMO!

The vast majority of the "Posters" here that I can see are a spinning radioactive sign and a message that says "do not hotlink images and steal bandwidith".  I mean, I can see a few bad movie posters, but some of you may wish to look back at ones you've put up & see if you can find it in a form that doesn't "steal bandwidth".
peter johnson/denny crane

I'd suggest using Imageshack. 

Agreed, this one has all the criteria I love in a B-Movie poster - monsters, helpless maidens, the military, and explosions! I haven't seen this movie before, but now the poster alone makes me want to.

I'm afraid most of these images are gone forever. They were from Critical Condition.com but that site closed shop I think.

Hmm... Reminds me of:

(http://www.impawards.com/1963/posters/day_of_the_triffids.jpg)

Just a little more cluttered...  :teddyr:

Hmm.. can't say I've ever seen a message like that before.  Only "Such-and-such account suspended" or something to that effect.  But almost every poster I can see just fine.

the pic isn't showing up Joe.

Here's a Photobucket version.

And yeah, it reminds me of THE NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS poster, too.  :smile:

(http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/rr154/Raffine/day_of_the_triffids.jpg)

so wait, the are the walkie talkie stalkie?

Wow.. how stupid!  A lame Halloween mask is stuck on a wall by a kitchen knife, with a head like a Matrushka doll inside.
(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s131/PaintedBoxSpotlight/Grotesque.jpg)

I feel like the tagline is referring to how awful the movie could be...

What are you talking about?  That is an awesome cover.  That's the kind of cover that you pick up because it looks cool, just knowing that there will be no way the movie could ever live up to it.

The cover is awesome.  I'm a bit doubtful on the movie, though...

And Linda Blair not only stars but is an associate producer!  She'll never live this one down.. :teddyr:

Retrorussel:

I went back a random screen or two, and I cannot see the picture you posted on March 9, wherein you speak of a dwarf or something holding a gun at someone's back, etc.  All I see is a spinning animated white screen showing a radioactive danger insignia in red, saying "Do not hotlink images and steal bandwidth".  If you can see that post okay, then does anyone know why I can't?
peter crane/denny johnson

You can't see it because rather than uploading the picture to something like imageshack or photobucket, someboy decided to hotlint the image and whoever runs the site they linked from decided they weren't putting up with people stealing their bandwidth.

A good slasher flick that deserved better cover art:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71ANXDNCTML.gif)

(http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/article/7/8/9/23789.jpg?v=1)

(http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/article/7/7/6/23776.jpg?v=1)


    15 Grossly Misleading Movie Posters
http://www.cracked.com/article_18542_15-grossly-misleading-movie-posters_p1.html (http://www.cracked.com/article_18542_15-grossly-misleading-movie-posters_p1.html)

I'm surprised that The Blob French (I think it was that one) movie poster wasn't mentioned.  It made it look like an action packed military film.

Do you have a picture of the French Blob Movie Poster?

I saw it on Shadow's B-Movie Graveyard and it was missing when I went looking for it.  However, I still found it.  Enjoy the WTH of it:

(http://vintagemovieposterstore.com/assets/images/dangerplanataire.jpg)

Eww.. the blond chick has Grandma boobs!

So many things are wrong with this poster. Wrong decade for one-thing.
If I went into this movie thinking it was anything like the poster portrayed, and saw people running away from grape jelly, I'd laugh my butt off!

That is some funny stuff.  The interpertation factor is off the charts.  WOW!   :question:

Ive seen this cover before, and I thought it was really cool....in a BAD way, of course.

Blood Freak

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/blood%20freak%20video%20treasures%20vhs%20front.jpg)

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_FuriXAuzR00/SNSrzQH8uGI/AAAAAAAACkY/760xTWu00sg/s1600/beast1.jpg)

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_FuriXAuzR00/Sby-VxvLBII/AAAAAAAAg7A/UBYvm0hUeP4/s1600/scandyf_bodyfever.jpg)

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_FuriXAuzR00/SJCYzoWX3jI/AAAAAAAABkc/EbwOB23UDKg/s1600/knightriders.jpg)


(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FuriXAuzR00/SbyqQzrsn-I/AAAAAAAAg6Y/J8fn8bLJElY/s1600/scandyf_lift.jpg)

The Lift hahaha
the tag line is even damn silly!
take the stairs, take the stairs, for god's sake, TAKE THE STAIRS!!!  :teddyr:

Well really you can only do so much with a movie called "The Lift"-
Never mind I just thought of about three different covers that could have been more daring and better.

Russ Meyer presents Fantastic Voyage 2. :teddyr:

Not only is she trapped in a giant syringe, the optometrist just put those pupil dilating drops in her eyes and she can't see anything.

It's a guy on a motorcycle in medieval armor.  How is that in any way considered bad?  That's awesome!  If only they could work some guys with chainsaws and a shark into it, it would be perfect!


Seriously though, I've watched that movie and it's damned good.   Not nearly as silly or explotive as the cover would suggest. 

I'm using Photobucket BTW.

You have to wait until you have a minimum number of posts--10, I think, unless Andrew raised the requirement.  Just keep posting and before you know it you'll have full privileges.

My first post here and here are a few more s**tty covers!  :bouncegiggle:

Dirty Heroes
Crudely drawn artwork for a scene that may or may not actually be in the film, riveting!
(From the positioning, it looks like the handsome man is gonna rear-end that blond while the Nazi fellow watches!)
(http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k81/trekkie313/195a7cef.jpg?t=1288664729)


Alien Private Eye
Nevermind the lame pose and s**t cover, I wanna know whats up with his eyes!
(http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k81/trekkie313/31638416.jpg?t=1288665011)

And here is some bad covers from movies you wouldn't expect!

From Russia With Love
(http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k81/trekkie313/FromRussiaWithLoveVHS.jpg?t=1288665799)

The Wild Bunch
I have 4 of these Warner Bros. clamshell tapes and this one is too lazy to have actual artwork!
(http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k81/trekkie313/TheWildBunchVHS.jpg?t=1288665852)

(http://www.bleedingskull.com/vhs/_images06/Cover_ThreeMeathook.jpg)

Not as bad as most of the others here, but.. there's only 2 victims, and they're not on the meathook!  ..And how'd they get blood on them if they haven't been 'hooked'?  Or have they been 'hooked', then let go so they can stand there and pretty much look indifferent?  ..Ugh, I dunno..

Raedon Home Video had a knack for creating some of the worst VHS cover art from the 90s. I only wish their releases were available on DVD. Lots of hilarious cheese!

I like how they're just standing around posing while there's a huge battle with people dying right behind them.

Dude! Those are green army men in the background!

(http://www.jesseshunting.com/images/plastic_army_men.jpg)

Anymore bad art?  :question: :bluesad:

Sometime after I get home from work I'll probably try to dig up more.  In the meantime, if you haven't gone here already:

http://critcononline.com/video_companies_cover_art.htm

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/savage%20lust%20aip%20vhs%20front.jpg)
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/robo-c.h.i.c.%20aip%20vhs%20ad.jpg)
#2 umm, a lady that is part robot isn't All Woman! :tongueout:
(http://www.critcononline.com/images/fist%20of%20steel%20aip%20vhs%20front2.jpg)

I've known about that site forever, very good for researching what movie is collectible.

Here are some real stinkers... :wink:

Ain't No Way Back
(http://www.deathwishindustries.com/home/What%20Is%20Best/Best%20Action%20Films%202/Aint%20No%20Way%20Back%20VHS%20Box.gif)

Brothers In Arms
(http://www.deathwishindustries.com/home/What%20Is%20Best/Best%20Action%20Films%202/Brothers%20in%20Arms%20VHS%20Box.gif)


Notice the same guy seems to appear on both covers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HI5i-HnMk0&feature=sub

I watched this and this was too dang funny.  I will have to watch the other episodes.

Karma for posting.

Later,

John

The covers were obviously pulled out of somebody's butt, but I'd kind of like to see those movies. One of them has Len "Uncle Leo" Lesser in it, and that appears to be Mitch Pileggi standing on the left of the other cover.

I've never liked those movie posters that just have all the stars standing there without any hint as to what the movie is about, but at least most of the other times they do it, they actually bother to have stars. 

No new additions?

(http://www.movieposterdb.com/posters/08_11/2005/460898/l_460898_c2327c6f.jpg)

The link is not working.   :thumbdown:

Grr...  :hatred:

Google "Pervert". I don't feel like fighting with Hotlink blockers.

What is "Hotlinking" ?

Something to do with spicy pork sausage.  :tongueout:

(http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/510-1.jpg)

(http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/253-1.jpg)

I really love this one....

(http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/430-1.jpg)

Big Foot's bigass.

"So-what cover art should we use?"
"How about a close up of his scary face,or him attacking-covered in blood?"
"I dunno-I was thinking of a picture of HIS ASS!"

That is funny.   :bouncegiggle:

After you eat the hot links the you have  :hot:.

Later,

John

hotlinking is when you link an image to site A when it's from site B when the image is "Prohibited" :smile:

I was visiting the page:  http://critcononline.com/video_companies_cover_art.htm (http://critcononline.com/video_companies_cover_art.htm) and noticed something.  There is talk about companies ripping off other companies.  I was looking the Action Internation Pictures page and found something interesting.  It appears that the company ripped off it self.  Take a look at these two pictures.




The names are very close but the pictures of the main characters are almost identical.  Future Force has Dave Carradine and Future Zone has David Carradine.  I think that the makers just copied and pasted. The gun, glove and jacket are all the same.  This must have been done to save money to pay David Carradines big salary requirements.   :bouncegiggle:

Fun stuff.  Must watch both if I can.

Later,

John

Update...  Not sure what is going on.  My pictures show when I do a preview but disappear when I save.  I will try and find out.

Sorry,

John

Thanks for reposting  :bouncegiggle: I posted the Bigfoot ass cover a few pages back http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,125486.60.html
but the image was taken down by Critical Condition.com  :bluesad:

That is the worst picture they could have possibly used to showcase this film.  They might as well have bigfoot taking a huge dump.

It does bear more than a passing resemblance to a Charmin commercial. :teddyr:

Kinda makes you wonder if the Curse of Bigfoot is anything like Montezuma's Revenge. 

 :bouncegiggle: Oh man, this thread is full of some great laughs.  :thumbup:

It's the exact opposite.  Traveler's constipation.   :teddyr:

[quote ]
([url]http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/510-1.jpg[/url])
[/quote]
"Could somebody turn up the air conditioning? Beau Bridges is too hot." :bouncegiggle:

"Okay, who put the tomato in Beau's helmet?"

I have a VHS of Outland which has a terrible pre-Photoshop cover which looks like Sir Sean Connery has been stuck onto the cover.  :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout: Good film, though.  :thumbup:

Like most things in life, this topic is in needs of more ninjas.

Go ninja go ninja go!

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v181/chainsawmidget/ninja20commandments20imperial20vhs20front.jpg)

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v181/chainsawmidget/ninja20empire20imperial20vhs20front.jpg)

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v181/chainsawmidget/ninja2520american2520warrior2520imperial2520vhs2520fron.jpg)

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v181/chainsawmidget/ninja2520operation2520licensed2520to2520terminate2520im.jpg)

I think I may have broken a few of the Ninja Commandments... :bluesad:

Is that one guys head "sweating blood" for no reason?

THE LEGENDARY PIERRE KIRBY!!!  :teddyr:

Headband  :smile:

The look on his face is like, "I tore through the sky for this?"

HAHAHA!  :bouncegiggle:

Robo Vampire VHS cover

(http://static.zooomr.com/images/542662_1ba6e501fa.jpg)

Not so much bad art work as it is plagiarism and false information.

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_91h_OwUG-QU/S8N7gcUiK6I/AAAAAAAAAQA/zEAqAOTRkWE/s1600/robo.gif)

Screencap from the actual film

I would bet $10 that artwork is done by the same guy who did Strike Commando and RoboWar.

Nah, I don't think so. Strike Commando & Robo War were directed by "Italian B-Movie maestro" Bruno Mattei in Italy. Robo Vampire, like Robo War, is a cheap cash-in on my name sake but was filmed in the U.S.A and Hong Kong by a different company. So I doubt they are related in any shape, way or form. 

I forgot how many of those god awful ninja films were made. They were all pretty much the same thing too...Joseph Lai or Godfrey Ho taking an obscure martial arts film and then splicing in new scenes of ridiculous looking "ninja". They are hilariously bad. I don't know who came up with the concept that ninjas should be wearing brightly colored outfits and headbands that say the word "ninja" on them, but that person should be worshiped and showered in gold coins.

We must find Pierre Kirby and  team him with with Reb Brown and Dolph Lundren.

I think he's registered on this site and one day he shall reveal himself.

SPOLIER: It's Circus Circus.

All this time and no updates??  Do I have to do everything for you people??

Well, we can't have a bad VHS cover thread without some bad cartoon compilation covers.

Look at this crapola:

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Nv4HVj9tycc/TS-HyJldHSI/AAAAAAAAADU/NmDY1c4BUOA/s1600/pd1.jpg)

Sir, I know Daffy Duck.  I have watched Daffy Duck for years.  And you, sir, are no Daffy Duck.

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Nv4HVj9tycc/TS-SwjUuBpI/AAAAAAAAAEI/tNNuJ34k8p4/s1600/jonscover2.jpg)

What commentary could i possibly add about this one except to state that a) the artist was on helium, b) they weren't looking at the canvas when they drew this and/or c) whose idea was it to give Foghorn Leghorn THAT much of a package? 

Yeah..."one hour of color cartoon fun"...and a lifetime of intense psychotherapy.

...And this is no cartoon but I HAD to share this one:

(http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/8536/3621.jpg)

Wait wait wait...are there GHOSTS in the HOUSE, or is the HOUSE itself a GHOST, or did a GHOST take a picture of this HOUSE, or...or...OH IT'S SO CONFUSING!!!

There.  New content.

- TGWD

Oh my god, I will buy those Looney Tunes tapes if I ever find them!

The house looks like it's in the early stages of being demolished.
As for the Looney Tunes covers.. I can almost hear Mel Blanc saying, "Eh... what the f***'s up with that, Doc?"

The Ghost House cover is awesome looking.

By the way, this movie (http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n34/mortis45/Freddy%20In%20Space/sledge.jpg) is now on DVD still with the s**tty artwork.

Agreed. The movie isn't really bad either.

(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/762-1.jpg)

I had a dream last night where I was in some weird thrift store looking at old tapes and there were so many strange looking movies from a label called "Funk Night" or "Night Funk" or something like that.  I wish I could remember the titles, but after waking up I was sad that none of them were real.

"He who smelt it, dealt it."
-or-
"Silent... but DEADLY!"

That face looks about as scary as my workbench after I've been spray painting.

(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b94/Jasesf/batmania.jpg)

Not as bad as some perhaps but yeah still kinda bad...

(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b94/Jasesf/duel-756825.jpg)

Great movie....but the cover??

Not even trying to blend in the photo...
(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1077-1.jpg)

Something tells me Mandell is trying to burn every copy of this cover.
(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1266-1.jpg)

A severed arm or a severed finger? Amoeba maybe?
(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1298-1.jpg)

Why?
(http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/1360-1.jpg)

 ^ Howie Mandels' jacket is AWESOME!  :buggedout:

The artist did a fabulous job on Dennis Weaver's butt crack.

(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/jackiechan.jpg)

Jackie really pinched this one off in a hurry.

(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/jawsofdeathII.jpg)

As Ronald Reagan would say "Where's the rest of me?".

That is just 100% pure genuine nightmare material.

It also appears Foghorn is either a lady or in drag.

I understand KIDZTOONZ later became PIXAR.

EDIT: Couldn't find it!  :bluesad:

(http://cdn3.iofferphoto.com/img/1122447600/_i/7653659/1.jpg)

Wendigo a.k.a Savage Water

The Good
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_OGVS1BCBX98/TCDJAzBrCII/AAAAAAAAAeE/poM_BDPFNW0/s1600/wendigo1.jpg)

The Bad
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OGVS1BCBX98/TCDO-eCyEUI/AAAAAAAAAec/rgZ9yA5OgFI/s1600/wendigo2.jpg)

The Ugly
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_OGVS1BCBX98/TCDpyx9dnXI/AAAAAAAAAek/U202PXgAfbs/s1600/savage.jpg)

(http://www.80shorrormovies.com/_images/surgikill89.jpg)

Any actor would be embarrassed to have such a shoddy poster/cover on their last film.

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_BoIEhBFmXy4/TEMB_rMUf8I/AAAAAAAAATk/uID5Sdw0_r8/s1600/agc.jpg)

I wonder if his pipe caused the fire ...

(http://i964.photobucket.com/albums/ae125/retrorussell/deadgirlsraedonvhsfront2.jpg)
Stupid.. they don't look dead to me.. hey!  It's one of the Cobra Kai in their Halloween skeleton costume in the background!
(http://i964.photobucket.com/albums/ae125/retrorussell/desertsnowraedonvhsfront.jpg)
I don't know what the hell desert they're talking about.. or snow.. what they are doing in the dark.. and what happened to the lower half of their bodies!

This movie was made in South Africa: I have been looking for it for years now.  :teddyr:

Hilarious bad movie. Wish it was on DVD.

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SQbLWftbtmA/TjT73iGEPFI/AAAAAAAAE2U/8s8seV5-cM4/s1600/y_tu_mama_tambien.jpg)

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-L16uUPZ0ERc/Tf5Iq8LkXjI/AAAAAAAAEeE/m-QyPJlXAlU/s1600/Think_big-573313646-large.jpg)

A trucker movie with the Barbarian Brothers, David Carradine, Michael Winslow, Richard Kiel, Richard Moll...... How did something so wonderful manage to slip under my radar all these years?

Not only that, that appears to be Martin Mull tied to the grill of the 18-wheeler.  He's surprisingly nonchalant about his predicament.

It is Martin Mull. I really have to track down a copy of that movie.

Think Big is indeed a silly one. Lots of bad dialogue and terrible fight scenes. The highlight for me...The Barbarian Brothers RAPPING the intro.

did anyone notice the bad cropping of the brothers heads?

Having a graphic design background, I did note the quality of the collage. Probably all cut and pasted by hand. Released in 1990, it was just slightly before good, relatively affordable photo editing software. And unless it's just the image, there appears to be some really conspicuous airbrushing on the brothers as well.

Anybody else notice a similarity to the poster for Smokey and the Bandit? I can't decide if its a coincidence, unconscious imitation or an intentional ripoff.
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-L16uUPZ0ERc/Tf5Iq8LkXjI/AAAAAAAAEeE/m-QyPJlXAlU/s1600/Think_big-573313646-large.jpg) (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cb/Smokey_And_The_Bandit_Poster.jpg/220px-Smokey_And_The_Bandit_Poster.jpg)

WTH?????
 :bouncegiggle:  That is a silly cover.

Later,

John

I remember seeing that on the shelf at the video store years ago. Every once in a while I'd almost get curious enough to rent it, then put it down and get something else.

(http://serialkillercalendar.com/VHSWASTELAND/HIGH-RES-VHS-COVERS/MERRY-CHRISTMAS-VIDEO-GREETING-CARD.jpg)

Someone actually made some money off this extremely lazy idea.



And this is definitely not original artwork!  :buggedout:
(http://serialkillercalendar.com/VHSWASTELAND/HIGH-RES-VHS-COVERS/THE-ALIEN-DEAD.jpg)

Ehhh: Evil Dead...Alien Dead...they're practically the same movie!   :twirl:

- TGWD

Is the scribble from the actors?  Does this increase the value?

HAHAHA

What the heck is up with this......slime.. phantom....I guess....of the Toxic Avenger?!
(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGj1xS_zqIW6Fm7VDoL5v1NJk4_kg44t4ET5tNw3F2QQhbeusEqg)

And this Brain Damage cover I actually like BETTER than the VHS copy that I own.

The one that I have is still cool...
(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSmpzUuJrlUIgftFcgbkikCKNGlCFuubZ22zq4TyatgKgfQ60UR0Q)

but this one just is far more strange and cool lookin'.
(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTc85Ecti4Hruii8YA2fjoKnmb6TU8YSmkVqhd-GwdYuJlO90FaGg)


Which one do YOU guys prefer?

If only the second were bigger.

-

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xYvL79dwK1g/URVSf_M-O5I/AAAAAAAADiM/ht1EEkioA3I/s800/tumblr_mhw9kjtyPT1s29f4ko2_1280.jpg)

Oh God, that's awful!
So is this:
ALICE, SWEET ALICE
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy8ba2eL7cI)
What??  That mask isn't in the film!  Lame.

super penis nose

The Ninja Klux Klan and gay sex?
(http://vintageninja.net/wp-content/uploads/Ninja_VHSdetail_3.jpg)

 :buggedout: :bouncegiggle: That one is just plain wretched. I feel bad for the filmmakers who had to settle with this. Still, my drawing is like that of a caveman compared to that.  :twirl:

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

I am ashamed to admit that I have seen that miserable waste of time: on the MGM Channel, no less!  :buggedout: :buggedout:

NYARSH!  What a combination of images!   :question:

Glad to see this thread is still alive!  Now, how about a couple more?

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jzi3qHZA5PE/Tcs4FyPBXcI/AAAAAAAABfc/cXvloC3pnT4/s1600/nightmare%2Bnever%2Bends%2Bstar%2Bclassics%2Bvhs%2Bfront.jpg)

(http://serialkillercalendar.com/VHSWASTELAND/HIGH-RES-VHS-COVERS/STEPSISTERS.jpg)

(http://www.thefilmpilgrim.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Assassin-IVS.jpg)

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t1Yk0OneeXU/Tcs0R8-d4DI/AAAAAAAABfM/xHJk4F68_FA/s1600/death%2Bpromise%2Bvhs%2Bfront2.jpg)

- TGWD

Hal Fletcher?  Sharyn Talbert?  Bond Gideon?  Hey, I think I saw these people at the grocery store the other day, bagging my groceries and pushing basket carts into the store!  They were all polite to me, but they seemed kind of sad.  :teddyr:

(http://i.imgur.com/wmRl0Wa.jpg)
"Okay, so how are we going to let people know that The Heist is an explosive crime thriller?"

"Well, I just figured we'd have a picture of a homeless looking guy standing there looking uninterested with a building in the background and we could write 'explosive crime thriller' on the box."

"Good idea!  Make you you use an exclamation point to really drive it home!"

(http://i.imgur.com/GpoJ6Q6.jpg)
I'm not exactly sure who this Nelson Nye person is, but I have my doubts that his seven sixgunners are really up to the task of taking down the 80foot cowpoke with the glowing crotch." 

I kind of like that ASSASSIN one.  At least some work went into it. 

Tonight on BIOGRAPHY:
(http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2010/11/vhs23.jpg)


Frankly, this image is cooler than anything that happens in the movie.
(http://www.worstmoviesevermade.com/wp-content/media/2012/10/rotor-vhs-cover.jpg)

...
(http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/thefw.com/files/2012/06/death-spa1.png)

The one on the right looks like either Paul Williams or Artie Johnson!

(http://i434.photobucket.com/albums/qq64/voltron_014/110760288_amazoncom-ice-death-vhs-icy-death-movies-tv_zps079cdc95.jpg)

Sadly, that cover is still better than the movie.   :wink:

Our video rental place only had Nightmare Never Ends under it's aka title:

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/satan%27s%20supper%20vhs%20front%20&%20back.jpg)

This cover art gives the movie some sort of class lol. They did get the heart part right. Well, I am assuming it's a heart (could be a brain too). That demonic female is no where to be found in the movie though. That said, I do love the no budget cheesy insanity of this flick. Fun bad movie.

Amazinbly, the actual movie is much, much worse.
(http://wtf-film.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/cover3.jpg)

Great movie, terrible cover art!
(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b94/Jasesf/duel-756825.jpg)

(http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/0f/88/0569225b9da06e2f8c6af010.L.jpg)

That helicopter must be flying dangerously close to the one Mitchell is hanging from...

The fear of being hit by a semi-truck makes Dennis Weaver fart, apparently.

Ozzymandias speaks: Not a VHS, but a bad cover. I recently bought a copy of this DVD. Haven't had the chance to watch it but I don't think Bronson is a doctor in the episode. The TV show is from the early 50s and that is a 70s Charles Bronson "head" on those scrubs. I also don't believe that is Richard Boone's body.
(http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Medic-Classic-TV-Series-DVD-2004-CHARLES-BRONSON-/06/!B3tlTvwEWk~$(KGrHqEOKm4E)3u+Ws+NBMnPN6QTi!~~_3.JPG)

Ozzymandias has spoken!!!

I can't find my copy anywhere, so here it is:
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51SNXDB1DTL.jpg)

Roboman a.k.a. The Man with the Metal Mask a.k.a. Who?
Of course "Roboman" looks nothing like that.

Sometimes when you watch a movie, you just want to reach out and slap a character. 

This is the first time I've ever got that feeling from just looking at a movie's box art. 

(http://i.imgur.com/er4qO7h.jpg)

Oh man that guy is so coool  :thumbup:

he's in the closet about something and it aint being a vampyre.

And nothing even remotely like that scene happens in the movie either.....


(http://0.tqn.com/d/horror/1/0/M/z/0/-/The-Comic-magnum.jpg)

(http://0.tqn.com/d/horror/1/0/G/z/0/-/Land-of-Minotaur-united-american.jpg)

They look very bored. Possible warning of the movie within?

(http://wrongsideoftheart.com/wp-content/gallery/posters-l/lethal_panther_poster_01.jpg)

(http://wrongsideoftheart.com/wp-content/gallery/posters-t/tough_ninja_shadow_warrior_poster_01.jpg)

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_v0fV15P7uQo/Sogyf8VC8YI/AAAAAAAAGPs/KJVTsF2yxVU/s400/helter+vhs.JPG)

Not VHS but still...

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_5M3zRRnMV2s/TUxgsi2rcDI/AAAAAAAAAWc/ipQzeTnACRw/s1600/DeadlyPrey_11x17.jpg)

Well, if the movie was some really dark cartoon this would be a good poster for it. 

I like that one.

If Marvel ever makes another movie version of The Punisher, this should be the poster.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

That is great: an elderly bull with two pieces of bacon hanging from its' snout...  :teddyr: :bouncegiggle:

The MST3K version of this is one of their best.

(http://i.imgur.com/wnewlZK.jpg)


I agree with that tagline 100%. 

(http://img546.imageshack.us/img546/4103/iyge.jpg)

Well, that's a pretty half hearted attempt at an Indiana Jones costume. 

(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxlvprYD8V1qlst9io1_500.jpg)

Well, there IS this...


Where's the image?

BUT...there is also...THIS.[/i]..

And, Dear God help us all...


Weird. The image is still listed when I check 'modify', but it's not showing on screen. What up?

Yeah, the artist is compitant, sure...

Please don't hate me...

Because ass shot
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/578/079/477.jpg)

OT: there's this:
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/10/Per_Aspera_Ad_Astraposter.jpg)
Personally, it looks like that hairs was copied to the cover.

(http://www.collectiondx.com/files/waroftherobots3.png)

Is it just me or does the guy with the machine gun look a lot like Mel Brooks?  :question:

(http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070911205933/godzilla/images/a/a7/Cartoon.jpg)

 :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout:

Man in car: Take THAT, ya lousy boat explosion!

HE DOES! Boy, I wish he'd made this...heh heh heh...

Its soo bad its good  :teddyr:

Eye can see that...

[/color]

What the hell (pun intended) is this?   :buggedout: :question:

(http://www.thefilmpilgrim.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Beyond-Evil-Vipco1.jpg)

Oy....

^^Oh, John Saxon, why...


Looks like somebody's had enough of Jeff Foxworthy...
(http://0.tqn.com/d/horror/1/0/C/z/0/-/Frozen-Terror-lightning.jpg)


Hmmm.
(http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/comicsalliance.com/files/2010/11/vhs02.jpg)

(http://serialkillercalendar.com/serialkillercalendar/VHSWASTELAND/HIGH-RES-VHS-COVERS/GODZILLA-VS-MEGALON.jpg)

How the HELL did they get up there? lol  :twirl:

Not to mention the battle took place in Japan the cover looks like its NYC

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-URuvJTPXu5s/UYWcFd0ccpI/AAAAAAAAQOQ/r42NvfBRNPw/s320/deadly_mantis_poster_01.jpg)

(http://serialkillercalendar.com/VHSWASTELAND/LOW-RES-VHS-COVERS/THE-GIANT-GILA-MONSTER.jpg)

I always found this one stupid, I don't know why but a clawed leg about to stomp a car seems kinda lame.

(http://www.delaware.lib.oh.us/sites/default/files/imagecache/giant-spider-invasion-poster-art-everett.jpg)

Oh, come on! If the movie had been only HALF as cool as that artwork, the movie would have been beyond awesome.

yeah, there are lots of covers in this thread which are a lot cooler than their movies

(http://luxuryoceandevelopments.com/wp-content/godzilla-vs-king-kong-2012-5215.jpg)

If you're a fan of the movie - you'll understand why I think that's a bad cover. :wink:

I kind of like the SPIDER INVASION one.  70s posters/artwork in general just seemed a lot cooler.





Yeah, there's definitely some issues with the imagery... 
Cripes, you'd think for the 35th anniversary edition they'd put some effort into it.

Yep. Even Kong was upset about the cover - so he started drinking again...

(http://m.cdn.blog.hu/me/mediaviagra/image/1962_king_kong_vs_godzilla_2.jpg)

More Unicorn Video Fun

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/night%20of%20the%20sorcerers%20unicorn%20vhs%20front.jpg)

My thoughts exactly, SisterCT.




 :teddyr: :teddyr:




 :teddyr: :teddyr:

By the look on his face, that pistol he's stuck into his pants is loaded and doesn't have a safety catch.  :buggedout: :teddyr:

(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzayhaSDL71qi7zhio1_1280.jpg)

I like that one. 

(http://luxuryoceandevelopments.com/wp-content/godzilla-vs-king-kong-2012-5215.jpg)

Wow.. it looks like Godz and Kong are just having a normal conversation.
"So Kong, how's the wife and kids?"
"Not bad.  Junior's been kinda sick lately, but it's just the flu season.  It'll pass."
"Yeah, my kid's got that too.  Hey, did you see that episode of LOST yesterday?"
"Yeah.  I totally Tivo'ed the part where the guy gets skinned and hung in a tree."
"Yeah.. did you see the new speedboat I just bought, in my back yard?"
"Yep, that's a beaut!  You and the family are gonna love that.  Hey, Gladys and I are gonna barbeque tonight.  Wanna come over later?  We got plenty of steaks."
"Sure!  Sounds great."
"Yup."
"Yup."
.....
"Hey, wanna wreck the town and burn sh*t?"
"Sure!  Sounds like fun!"
(ensuing carnage below)

(http://horrorsnotdead.com/wpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/monstersharkPOSTER.jpg)

Monster of the Red Ocean? Time to hit Amazon!!!

One from South Africa:  :buggedout:

(http://cdn.mos.totalfilm.com/images/8/80-more-awesomely-bad-80s-video-covers-81-420-75.jpg)

And yes, there is a croc involved.

..and another one....  :buggedout:

(http://cdn.mos.totalfilm.com/images/8/80-more-awesomely-bad-80s-video-covers-29-420-75.jpg)

ACCIDENTS
..based on a true story of intestinal distress

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

It's actually about a scientist who discovers that his peaceful inventions are being altered and used to kill people but then what do I know  :wink:

(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1w49dG27w1qi7zhio1_1280.jpg)

Don't do it!! That's just a French title for Lamberto Bava's infamous "Devil Fish" (1984), aka "Devouring Waves" and "Monster Shark." Take it from one who knows, there is no scene in the movie that even remotely resembles the awesomeness of that poster. :P

It's DEVIL FEESH_ I mean FISH? Wow. Talk about unconsummated cinematic intentions.

(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqde0l6ObW1qi7zhio1_1280.jpg)

Just like your undies, Trevor?

Chimp, chimp cherrie...

People seem to be getting confused. 

This topic is for the worst covers, not the most awesome.

D'OH! Sorry...

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71HB411XKFL.gif)

SURPRISE ATTACK also sounds like it could be about intestinal distress.
We should go back and update the "Make you own made-up movie review" or whatever it was called thread.  Where we put in one line at a time (plot, characters, things I learned from the movie, quotes, etc.).  That was kinda fun!

(http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_liov1bv47m1qgx029o1_500.jpg)

Floating head syndrome  :buggedout: :bouncegiggle:.  This movie looks like a cross between Creature From the Black Lagoon and some Indian movie.  No wonder the girl is freaked  :bouncegiggle:.  Worth a watch.

WTH????   :question:

I was thinking more like 'The Kraken' from Clash of the Titans (1983)

and the head = Jacob Marley (Christmas Carol)

It reminds me of the Ymir from 20 Million Miles to Earth (which the Kraken seems to borrow heavily from).

I was about to say "What an awesome poster" when I checked the title and saw that it was directed by Godfrey Ho  :buggedout: :buggedout:

Is THE BEAST supposed to be the erotic film LA BETE?  With the horse f*cking scenes and the black beast with the perpetually erect wang chasing the girl?
..Uh, that might have been in that movie, if I had seen it.. which I didn't!  :wink: :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:

It wishes it was. It is actually EQUINOX, a rather interesting film with stop-motion work by Jim Danforth, and it has a young Frank Bonner, who made it big playing Herb Tarlek in WKRP.

And the cover isn't as horrible as the rather bland new title is.

(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmiecwJhej1qixyapo1_500.jpg)

Gee, looking at the cover, I'm starting to see where Konami got part of the idea for the marquee and side-cabin artwork for their old game, "Green Beret" aka "Rush N' Attack".

From Russia With Whatever He's Holding In His Hand.....  :buggedout: :buggedout:

(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT7Dj3xqgP_LrUyTkqP2Xcg1-l7RxPx9bV3ZPUjKCa-KhTQbd9h)

Oh yeah and since when did 20th Century Fox distribute United Artists' films?  :question:

(http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2398/1572660344_ef00c1f03d.jpg)

(http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w234/tcrine_photos/Fu-Man-Chu1_zps2112326c.png)

(http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w234/tcrine_photos/1146-1_zps7b700597.jpg)

(http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w234/tcrine_photos/blood-bath-aka-reazione-a-catena-twitch-of-the-death-nerve-vhs-cover-video-nasty_zps810f0549.jpg)

I think it's a flare gun. 
That was an awfully boring trend, the 80s version of floating heads, where they'd just stick a random still from the movie in a grey background.


Okay, so I was at the thrift store yesterday and I paid all of 25 cents for this little beauty:
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HBSuHkSxZ44/TJEcR9XTwKI/AAAAAAAAAGM/A6Nhrba84Dg/s400/strange+but+true.jpg)

Vincent Price and football.  Vincent Price and football.

Wow, the Killer Klowns found a succesful diet plan!  And became rock musicians!

I actually like this one:

(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7109/7428089570_496f102dba_b.jpg)

Not bad. :teddyr:

(http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w234/tcrine_photos/psychos20in20love20vhs20front3_zps438f8700.jpg)

(http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w234/tcrine_photos/supersonic20man20united20vhs20front_zps890de86e.jpg)

(http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w234/tcrine_photos/psychomania20goodtimes20vhs20front_zps8c8cbbf2.jpg)

It's not bad artwork, but all I can see when I look at it is a hot girl with a bicep for a body.

(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y163/967evil/HEADLESSSEYES.jpg)

 :buggedout: :buggedout:

Little toooo much going on here.....

(http://www.cannon.org.uk/cannonguildhomevideo/Naked%20Face,%20The%20(1985)%20%5BUK%20VHS%5D.jpg)

I love this movie!!! Sad and demented fact: It was directed by Kent Bateman. Yup, Jason and Justine's father.

Now you know. And knowing is half the battle. G.I. JOE!!!!!!!!!