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* "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it." - W.C. Fields

* "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." - Groucho Marx

* "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain

* "Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air." - Jack Benny

* "I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty." - John Waters

I dunno about that second quote...there have been some naked people who've had quite an influnce on me... :twirl:

"Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head”

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

“Politics is the conspiracy of the unproductive but organized against the productive but unorganized.”

Here's a few from Albert Einstein


"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

 "The only real valuable thing is intuition."

 "A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."

"Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

one of my favorites... No one can make you feel inferior without your consent~ Eleanor Roosevelt 

And some from that great font of wisdom, Yogi Berra.

"You can observe a lot just by watching."

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

"A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."

"90% of the putts that are short don't go in."

"If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."

"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."

"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."

"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"

"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

"1.  Know more than anyone thinks you know but keep this knowledge to yourself for as long as possible.  It could come in handy one day."

"24.  When the glove is on the other foot.  The shoe is on the other hand."

"71.  78% of the world's problems can be solved with a drop kick."