Badmovies.org Forum

We've talked about movies and tv, how about cartoons?

Early man had cars which were operated by their feet.  

In "cartoon world" most characters walk on thin air, for a little bit anyhow.

In "cartoon world" some characters could survive a 1000 foot drop, face first.

In "cartoon world" most characters DONT age.

In "cartoon world" steam rollers dont kill characters, they just make them flat for about 2 mins.

When you survive that drop from from 1000 feet, your body will turn into an accordion.

Texas is really a planet populated by zombie cowboys.

Just because you're in a wheelchair, it doesn't mean you can't be a Ghostbuster.

Being hit on the head, triggers the fusion of small stars and the creation of flying alarm clocks.

If in trouble, turn to Bob Hoskins for help.  :teddyr:

Cats and mice have very complicated and violent relationships.

If cartoon has sex with a real person, the cartoon becomes a real person.  (You wo't learn that on Nickelodeon!)

When seeing a pretty or sexy lady, guys' eyes will buldge out and their heads will turn into wolf heads and let out a large howl.

If hit in the face, your teeth will shatter like glass and then regrow in a matter of second.

You can kick anyone's @ss by eating spinach from a can. 

If you smoke and eat bacon fast enough, you can travel back in time.

Animals have no genitalia.

Acme can supply you with all your hunting needs...even in the desert.

Platypi are bipedal and don't talk much.
They also look good in fedoras.

I gave you karma for that also, don't forget...

Only animals make the best secret agents. 

Lions are pink and very nervous.

Mostly blind old guys still have their drivers license.   

chocking someone after over and over will not snap their neck
alien who go to skool will have to face a paranoid person

The earth will eventually be taken over by plant-like creatures, unless a young boy (aided by a robot, a wizard and a fish) and his father can press their "roots" together...

Never join an organization named Cobra - they may seem well organized and funded, but they're incredibly inept.

You never want to "form blazing sword" at the beginning of a battle - always wait until you've gotten your butt kicked first.

Skunks sexually harass painted cats relentlessly. 

A rabbit dressed like a woman can fool just about anyone.

Shooting guns at the ground will make you levitate briefly. 

Coyotes and Sheep Dogs may not work well together, but can be the best of friends off hours. 

Mice in Mexico are beyond fast. 

Eating bananas makes you stronger and able to fly...

No matter what kind of painful sh*t happens to you in a cartoon world, you will ALWAYS be OK and never die.  (And if you do die, you'll still be there in the next episode (unless you're Maude Flanders))!

The Griffins have worked in every job field known to man. 

there are people that can blast a ray from their hands (DBZ)
there are yellow skinned people
an older sister with a hyper disorder will destroy your lab
purple skinned dogs are big scaredy cats, but can scream very loudly
 people who are annoyed will turn red and have steam coming out of their ears

There is no such thing as a real mustache...

* If you eat hot peppers, flames will shoot out of your mouth like a blow-torch

* Mice wear gloves

* Falling down creates a sound like a slide-whistle

* Explosions just fray your collar and make your face turn black

* Your eyes can roll around 360 degrees in their sockets

* Some cats speak with a lisp

* If you spit on your palms, you can lift extremely heavy objects

It is perfectly acceptable to shout "HO!" in public places...

You can turn a robot into a person through the process of de-fossilization :teddyr:

When running away from something/someone, you must run in place, and a foot off the ground for a few seconds first.

When driving, the landscape moving in the background repeats itself every couple seconds.

If the villian and the protagonist are in a tree, and the villian saws through the limb the protagonist is standing at the end of, the tree will fall but the limb will stay afloat in midair.

When accidentally running past a door you meant to enter, you must hop on one leg a few times, then go through the door.

I'm giving you an Oscar nomination for mentioning this one!

You can be removed from this earthly realm by use of an eraser, but still be able to "draw" yourself back into reality.

The theme tune will be better than any live action programme.

The tears of a child can actually flood a room.

When dinosaurs and cadillacs combine, common sense goes out the window !

You never have to pay for hamburgers...

•  There are only certain animals and motorized vehicles in the world that can not only leave a single trail of flames on the road, but can also lift asphalt off the ground for a few seconds if moving at extreme speeds.

•  You can drop a letter in a mailbox and within seconds receive what you had ordered by special delivery.

•  Falling trees always fall in the direction you are running, and are always tall/long enough to do damage.

•  Many cartoon characters in the 50's 60's and 70's lived in a different house with different furniture in every show.

•  Many cartoon people only had one set of clothes, yet can afford to buy or wear costumes or disguises for quick needs.

•  In many cases, you either had to be in a band, or sing bubble-gum music to be able to solve crimes.

Mattresses are actually living creatures that dwell in caves and prey on puffins

Thanks Burgo! :teddyr:

More:

Villians can be completely fooled if you put on even a thin disguise.
ACME products are not to be trusted.
Cartoon rabbits are the biggest smarta**es.
Lions and pumas are generally intensely stupid.
Despite cats being much larger, more dangerous, faster, etc. than mice, they still take a beating trying to catch them.

-The object you need (or are going) to use is always significantly lighter than the similar objects behind/next to it.

-Sacks, boxes and other items can store way more objects than their size would suggest.

-Painting a door on a solid surface will magically create said door, but only for certain people (namely, not you.)

-There's rabbit season, duck season, and then, after several switches back and forth, you get Elmer season.

-Martians only need a little bit of water to grow.

-Make sure you've got your directions right, especially when it comes to being near Albuquerque.

-A powerful stench can even affect inanimate objects (clocks, machinery, even paintings.)

Anything you need is usally just off camera-you simply need to reach over and grab it.

Coyotes are indestructable-but still get damaged.

Crows wear trench coats and speak with italian accents.

Vampire ducks can be brought back to life once every hundred years-just make sure you don't use substitions in the process.

Frogs can drive space ships and have catipillars for pets.

there is a plant that wants to take over the world

I learned that Anvil's are really easy to find, and make a good object to throw at birds.

There are companies that deliever to the middle of the desert for coyotes.

There are some places worse than Village of the Damned and Silent Hill. (When They Cry)

:bouncegiggle: :twirl: :bouncegiggle: Good one!

* An explosion can cause an animal's spots to fall off (but don't worry . . . they will magically reappear moments later).

* Everyone has a sign that says "Help" (and they usually produce it from behind their back when they are falling off a cliff).

* The only type of cheese that exists is swiss cheese with holes in it.

* If there is a train track running through hundreds of miles of desert, you'll never see a train until you step onto the tracks . . . then it will appear out of nowehere and flatten you.

Cat and dog owners are just a pair of african american legs with a broom.

Sewers smell like poo gas.

What I learned from watching cartoons is You can get away with virtually anything if you claim you're a retard afterwards.

Thanks Peter Griffon

i didnt learn from cartoons when i was a kid, but they gave me lots of ideas. like, when i saw tom chasing jerry around until he stepped on a rake and whacked himself in the face, i didnt think "ouch, i bet that hurt like hell", i thought "hmmm, i wonder if a rake would really pop up like that when you step on it". i tested it and found that it does pop up and it does hurt like hell. now that i think about it, i did learn something.

A painting in a spooky house always has eyes that follow you when you pass it.

When running through a door in a long hallway of doors, you will always emerge from a different door; often one far away, especially if someone is chasing you.

Roosters love to antagonize dogs.

When coming across a situation that will result in pain in a matter of seconds (explosion, train running over you, etc.), instead of jumping out of the way, throwing the explosive away, etc., you sadly look at the camera p.o.v. and cry, frown, or hold up a sign expressing your displeasure with the situation (Help!  Ouch!  Oh No!, etc.).

Policemen don't like cats that live in trash cans.

Dogs can get janitor jobs and also moonlight as a karate superhero.

There are secret schools that teach monsters how to act and live among humans in secrecy.  (Rosario+Vampire)

- There isn't only one monster in Loch Ness, there is actually a family of them, all of whose names end in "Ness".
- Ducks can be vampires.

The sidekick is smarter.

Bats are bulletproof.

The one thing I've learned from watching cartoons:

Most animals wear shirts with no pants.

Roosters have speech impediments.

When running very fast the feet and legs are no longer visible; just a rotating blur.
Any branch jutting from a cliff you happen to catch on your way down will never support you for more than a few seconds.
Roadrunners claim they can't read, but they understand the signs they're holding.
If you move quickly from one place you will leave a cloud behind.

if you get shot from a cannon, you can fly over the world

If you immortal and you lose your fingers or arms, they'll magically reatch themselves back on.  (Baccano!)

Dogs make good consulants. (Dilbert)

If you dig a hole straight down, you will pop up in China (where everything is upside down).

And whereas older cartoons are concerned, the residents' teeth will be at least a foot long, their eyes will be shut, and they will bow at least once every second.

Don't forget the yellow skin, long braid and coolie hat.

The other interesting thing about a hole through the earth, is that you will fall all the way through. When, and only when, you emerge on the other side and everything around you flips right side up, does gravity pull you the other way. This usually only lasts long enough to take you back home. Oh, and chances are you'll pass a guy with horns and a pitchfork along the way.

This doesn't just apply to cartoons . . . Mickey Rooney was made up like this in BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S!

Miss Gorightry!  You make-a too much noise!
God, I hated that movie.  Not just for his blatantly stereotyped performance, but the movie as a whole was just stupid IMO.

Wow . . . this is one of my favorite movies.  Not Top 10 or anything, but at least Top 50.

Italians say picnic as dicnic

If I learned anything is that most people are indestructible to just about anything.

[/quote]

Wow . . . this is one of my favorite movies.  Not Top 10 or anything, but at least Top 50.


[/quote]

Really??  I guess I mostly didn't like it because Holly Golightly was such a complete dips**t in the movie, and towards the end George Peppard became just as stupid. 
There are definitely some films considered classics that I just didn't like.  That one, and Who's Afraid Of Virginia Wolf I just couldn't stand.

Prehistoric dinasours and birds and be used as transport and tools,pigeons and sparrows are rivals,to make your car stop or go use your feet,mad scientists want to rule the world,cheaters never win,Richie Richs house is so big they have a long distence operator to rach the other end,Pigeons can fly and blow bugles at the same time,Your wrecked car gets fixed realy quick

I've learned that getting shot point blank in the face doesn't kill you or put a hole in your head, it simply causes your face to be blackened temporarily.

Condors dont like being shot at,Theres a difference between eating and consuming,Lovebirds can be realy romantic,If you press a button your space car folds into a briefcase,A rock & roll group can have three guitar players but no drummer,

If you throw your six shooter in the air it will land in the holster and shoot you in the foot,You can drive your car through a hotel lobby up the stairs If you wack a crytsal alien on the head it will break into little bitties peices,You dont do anything it little space kiddets,A boulder can land on your head with no harm,

You can stand in midair as long as you think there's something under you.

Rabbits are six feet tall on their hind feet.

Anvils are an extremely common item, that require moderate effort to lift and will give you a nasty bump if they land on you.


Actually, I watched cartoons for years before I even knew what an anvil was. I saw one in a machine shop when I was 7 or 8 and all was revealed. Eureka. That's what it's for. It is interesting when you look at those old cartoons and realize they were made in a time when most of the kids understood references to things like blacksmithing and farming. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of adults out there today who only know an anvil as an oddly shaped heavy thing that cartoon characters drop on each other.

99% of the time villains just look cooler

Being ambitious tends to make you evil

If a villain threatens you or your loved ones, relax; the villain is probably incompetent and if things actually start to get serious a hero will swoop and save you

It's okay to be different as long as you never question the overall opinions and methods of the group

You can run off a cliff and continue running several feet in the air (horizontally) until you notice that you're not on a solid surface anymore.

There was a period in time when it was illegal for anthropomorphic animals to not wear white gloves.

There are two kinds of animals: those that walk upright and speak, and those that do not. It is common for the talking ones to keep the others as pets or livestock.

Baby white camels can drive a car,Alien villians ether had sharp pointy teeth or facial deformities,birds often had only two front toes or oversized feet,Chickens get super powers by drinking from martini glasses

Never run indoors; you may end up in a bizarre dimension that consists of a never-ending hall and repetitive decor.

A horse can wear a ten gallon hat a bandana a gun belt and use a six shooter and his partner is a donkey wearing a sombero a bandana and can also use a six shooter as well,By pulling a leaver a lady can apply makeup without taking her hands off the wheel,

When the worlds strongists flea gets annoyed his handlebar mostcache strieghtens out and he drags mean bulldogs through tiny little knotholes

If a freighten great dane jumps on you youll get knocked clean accross a room,you can live on a primative planet and still be able to pilot a space ship,Gorillas can wear pants a hat and suspenders but no shirt,Lions can be practile jokers,Pigeons have short tempers at times

Some hyenas don't laugh and are clinically depressed.
There are usually just two types of gangsters: one that's short and tough and one that's big and stupid.
Pleasant scents become sentient and physically guide you to the source.
Dr. Jeckyll's formula will turn you into a giant monster, whether you're human, rabbit or bird.
Snake-charming works on rope, too.

A cat can use a frying pan amd a eggbeater as a lifeboat,French wolves try to change the way others look upon them,Little yellow and green duckling as well as little lambs have big dogs to protect them,There were super heros in the prehistoric days to,

Frenchmen are very romantic but when they start kissing they get carried away,Englishmen speak in cockty accents,Russians always invented it first,Mexican mice are realy fast,theres hundreds of ways to catch a roadrunner none of them work,The wealthists boy in the world is polite but his reletives brag a lot,If little yellow birds hide in a mad scientists labratory they will eventiualy turn into giant monster birds,Back in the prehistric times the swallows were so big they were called swallows becuase that what theyll do to you when they catch you,If someone hit the ground they always leave big holes in the ground,If a crook steals portible holes to commit crimes he will eventiualy end up in prison when he uses the very last one to escape the police

Big green sea serpents protect little boys wearing beanie caps,Its called a CROWS NEST becuase crows live in them,Little hawks can drag around great big roosters,Cats,dogs and even mice can be partners,The sidekick is better at catching the bad guy then the hero is,Blue eagles can swim underwater,Cartoon cowboys almost always sounded like JOHN WAYNE,You can disassenble your hot-rod and convert it into any kind of racer,A gun can fire continiusly without running out of bullets,

In years past, it was a common practice to make houses very long, and decorate them with identical furniture at regular intervals.

Many cartoon charitures exhail helium,Ants can lift 50 times their own weight super ants can left even more,A bird can lose his feathers and still fly,A cartoon rabbit can get his profile traced in bulletholes twice,Crows are realy,realy smart,Someone can be run over by up to ten cars and live,Flying squirrels and carrier pigeons often wore aviator helmets,By pulling a lever or pushing a button your racecar can convert into any mode of transportation a FLYING CARPET ON WHEELS,A POGOSTICK,A VACUM CLEANER,A MOTER CYCLE etc

Some dragons have alergies to daisies,Some kings loyal guards named YIPPIE,YAPPIE & YAHOOOYIYIYIYIYI are more hazerous to the king,Gophers are fasinated by vegtable factories,Some rescues can be preformed with a basketball,chopsticks and a yoyo,Chicken pox was created by evil contaminated chickens that escaped from a top secret goverment lab and they break into little kids homes and peck them while their asleep and when kids scratch they turn into evil contaminated chickens,

To see a invisible monster paint it,some koalas are very fast,a airplane propellars can be used to slice cold-cuts,Bald guys that are hunters pronounce their Rs AND Ls like Ws .

Pygmies worship the airplane but are afrraid of helicopters and their not warm and freindly people,Vutltures are scared of thunderstorms it makes the squawk and flap their wings a lot,Most ghosts are monters was someone in disguise,When frieghtened some dogs turn invisible,If you move a clocks hands to midnight a revolutionary war ghost and his cat will appear,Some turtles are good at sword play,Fortyfoot great white sharks can live outside the water and can run on their tailfins and sound like curly

There is some kind of wormhole or other spatial anomaly just under Albuquerque, New Mexico.

what ever you do, take that left turn in Albuquerque

Woodpeckers can do morris code.Use a bazooka when hunting pteranadons,Everybody is afraid of 40 foot purple gorillas,Some gorrilas and very civilized and can read books,If you want to get someone out of a giant clam tell it a joke,Some lions are hard of hearing,To look like you riding in a limosine just sit on the fender on the other side,Bannana peels can cuase a car to skid,A tazmanian devil travel by twirling around like a mini tornado and even sharks are afraid of them,Some birds hatch out of a egg fully developed,Police once used streetside phones

A depressed Tazmanian Devil will eat a violin,Wives are often large and dominate and husbands are small and meek,The magic words for levetating are SIM,SIM SALA BIM,a LITTLE BIRD CAN KICK A GREAT WHITE SHARK OUT OF A TREE,

Pilots will ALWAYS safety eject from their helicopters BEFORE they explode.

Trained military men and ruthless terrorists can't hit ANYTHING (and the inexplicably use laser guns instead of conventional weapons, even though the show seems to take place in close to modern times.)

You can knock people out with a swift blow to the head, and not have to worry about concussion or any long term damage.

France has skunks.  They are known to have exceptional libidos.  They easily are attracted to cats.  Small roosters are exceptionally intelligent.  It is impossible to die from many causes including explosions, firearms and alcohol poisoning.  Large bulldogs are gullible for kittens.  Angels and saints are incapable of understanding mid 20th century American slang.  In Dallas, America's first criminal was a caveman dinosaur rustler and he lives to this day.  Canada has vast hot dog fields.  It is possible to sneak into Canada claiming you are a "UN Wiener Inspector".  Speaking of Canada and Ren and Stimpy references, Canada has an elite corp of Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen.  Kids enjoy a toy that is nothing more then a log.