Badmovies.org Forum

Commercials are always fun, depending on the right one or the right company.  Here's a few:

If you don't switch to Capital One, Vikings will get you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drqO8aySdFg

If you are obsessed over a cereal, you will turn into a furry monster.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6eakuH1krk

Certain body sprays make you irresistible to women.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ_TlopThfs

So, what have you guys learned?

Chinese dry cleaners call their technique an "ancient Chinese secret" when they actually just use Calgon.

Dow bathroom cleaner contains sentient bubbles who enjoy "going down the drain together!".

When faced with an adverse situation, or angry people, just hold up a roll of Mentos and smile.  Everything will be all right.

Obsessive commercial people will offer you a deal you CANNOT refuse

I've learned that jewelry will definitely get you kissed (or more) when you present it to your spouse.

People, for some reason, aren't surprised to see a lizard talking to them.

When you drink beer, armies of scantily clad women will show up out of nowhere to join you.

Never use Supervolt batteries, as they'll always fail you when you need them the most.

There's all these great foods that promote weight loss that, neatly enough, doctor's don't seem to know about.

I can't remember where I put my remote, car keys, or inhaler, but I can remember @%%@ing commercial jingles that I heard decades ago.

Ozzymandias speaks: There are actually guys who are stupid enough to agrevate Bigfoot.
Crooked insurrance companies and drunk drivers upset Robert Vaughn more than Thrush taking over the world.
Cavemen are over-sensetive babies.
Everyone who makes millions of dollars from some "plan" sold on an infomercial hangs out at an exclusive pool party.
Cute puppies are obsessed with toilet paper.

Ozzymandias has spoken!!!

Things I've Learned From Commercials? to change the channel.  Seriously, I haven't watched commercials in years and I'm totally fine with it.

Burger King is a very scary place.  I try to avoid the whole section of town where their restaurant is located.

Eating at a fast food restaurant - 7 days a week - is a fantastic way to lose weight.

Driving any car at any speed is something that should only be attempted by a trained professional on a closed course.

The local restaurant named "Bub's" is actually pronounced "Boobs".

Taking 'natural male enhancement' pills will make even the nerdiest guy insanely popular with the ladies.

Eating yogurt will make your belly gyrate at the offiice.

men love Miller lite better than their Fiances
Men with too much money will convert their basement closet to a cooler room for beer
Car dealerships will give you back $1900 back on a purchase on a new car

Side effects of erectile dysfunction pills can include a 4-hour erection.  None for me, thanks!  :buggedout:
Barbie readily adapts to the hottest fads and fashions.  Read: she's a sellout!
Seeing a dog drag its butt across a carpet, whether on a commercial or in real life, is just nasty.

Last year, I bought a 2 DVD set called DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL.  It's a compilation of about 6 hours worth of TV commercials from the 1950s through the 1970s.  It's interesting to see what commercials have tried to teach us over the years. 

(http://content.vcommerce.com/products/856/67337856/main-205.jpg)

Talking pizzas sound like Mr. Bill.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tpnn06p3SdA

a creepy gut with a muffin mit w/ a smiling face will force you to eat Hamburger helper
people will take 89 cents to got to Taco Bell
eating greasy foods will make your buttons fly off and you will fall down on the ground
Papa John will personally come to your house to deliver your pizza(s)
The NFL sponsors many beers
drink Sprite and the ground will become a swimming pool

Advertising execs seem to think using a popular song and changing the lyrics slightly to promote their product is a brilliant bit of marketing.  

They also think "weird" or "silly" sells, whether or not it has anything to do with the product.

Apparently Bud light, Miller light, Natural light, Budweiser,Miller High life, Corona, Coors and Guinness are the best beer in the world!

Every time you make crescent rolls you'll have to poke a small man made out of dough in the stomach.

People who eat at Sonic enjoy really stupid conversations. 

Some burgers are protected by alarms. 

A place with a rodent as a mascot not only sells food but is a place where kids go to have fun. 

Giving a girl jewelry must always be preempted with an awful pun or line. 

most prescription pills have horrific side effects...but you should take them anyway

if you are in debt, you should pay someone to consolidate your debt...even though you could do it on your own

using a feminine hygiene product gives you a feeling like a day at the park, or dinner with girlfriends, or day at the beach(etc. etc.)

using male enhancement products makes all your girlfriends want your man's package...and that's ok with you.

stars with millions of dollars use weight loss products and/or excercise products to look perfect in a SUPER short time...has nothing to do with fact that they have the $$ to get lypo.

you should pay $1.50 and over for a bottle of water...even though a few years ago, we got it free out of the tap, and at some point it was drinkable.

you should believe in true love and love a man for his spirit...but getting a REALLY big diamond from Jared (insert jeweler here) helps alot!
 

In the same neck of the woods as this thought...

Its ok to ask your mother if she douches. 

All products works well, but some will scare the s**t out of ya

Using Herbal Essence Shampoo instantly causes orgasms!

If you have bad credit, then its mandatory your write a catchy song about it.

There is a giant green man who oversees canned vegetable production

Customers at Olive Garden simply don't know how to schmooze well with their wait staff. 

Cats have lovely singing voices.   

Beggin' Strips may cause your dog to have a panic attack. 

Frank Perdue Jr. is a figure skater. 

Burger King BRAGS a lot

Some people who don't know they're credit score will sing about it

drink Gatorade and you will sweat Gatorade

If you're not sure what to say to a girl you like, talk to her about McDonald's.  You will click.

Ozzymandias speaks: Let us not forget the PSAs.

Fathers become bad mimes when it is time to talk to their daughters about sex.
Most small children contract diseases nobody has ever heard of.
People who want to conserve energy are goofy.
Even in retirement, Patty stills seems more fun than Cathy.
Little dinosaurse are concerned about their teeth.

And of course, the classics PSA's taught us:

Colon polups are pervy guys in big red suits that dig through you refrigerator.
It is extremely funny when a bully that makes fun of kids for wearing a bicycle helmet runs into something and gets a concusion.
Sparkle City has a superhero in a grey business suite and hat cleaning up trash.
Don't smoke around your child or a performing dolphin.
Al Lewis sends maniquin heads through the mail.
Batman pays Robin and Batgirl.
Drugs will cause you brains to look like a sunny side up egg.
Throwing trash out of a moving car will cause Native Americans to cry.

Ozzymandias has spoken!!!

Old, washed-up sitcom stars of yesteryear advertise Old Navy merchandise.
Splattering burger drippings on you is a good thing.

Even balloon animals need some lovin'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lVcA606XMA

Burger King has been ripping off McDonalds for YEARS!!!

We learned some realy great jingles from those old TV ads and JAUN VALDEZ got around a lot him and his little donkey

Commercials don't have to have anything to do with their product, as long as they have quirky humor.
Wherever you go with your cell phone, dozens of phone company employees will follow you around.
The King is proficient at football, but will offer the opponent a burger as a gesture.

If you annoy sasquach he,ll throw you through the air,Giant chickens can ride motorcycles,pigeons can retreive your computer but forget the keyboard,women named josephie are plumbers,dracula likes the peanut butter first,

SILLY RABBIT TRIX ARE FOR KIDS,IF ITS KENNER ITS FUN AAAWWWKKK,PINK HEARTS,YELLOW MOONS,GREEN CLOVER,ORANGE STARS,BLUE DIAMONDS

Going for a walk outside is a boring, painful, inconvenient ineffective and downright dangerous way to get exercise. A machine in your house is better.

With a good wax, you can put a high gloss on scrap cars.

A good car wax can replace hundreds of dollars worth of body work.

Hercules could only lift 300 pounds.

Blankets are difficult to use.

Although we aren't told what it does, Viagra appears to be an antidepressant.

People are surprisingly gullible the moment you mention a brand name.

The Burger King got even creepier when he started rapping about how he wanted to have sex with Spongebob Squarepants (how the execs thought "Baby Got Back" was an appropriate song choice for their commercials designed to push a crappy toy that came with kids' meals I'll never know).

Women who shave their legs while having a bath may "accidentally" throw the razor several feet (possibly clear across the room).

Goths are actually vampires that can be easily defeated with garlic pizza.

Women friggin' love to clean their houses.

It is our duty to eat turkeys whenever possible because it turns out that they're actually terrorists.

Getting a cell phone may result in you being stalked by a crowd.

It's actually quite creepy to have talking animals trying to sell you meat products. Seriously...they're selling out their kin.

An enhanced male looks a lot like a creepy, grinning idiot from the 1960s.

A glass of artifically flavoured sugar water is worth the cost of masonry repair.

A lot of the things I consider easy and convenient are really a pain in the butt.

A British accent somehow makes products seem less crappy.

Babies excrete a clear blue liquid.

Planning your funeral ahead of time will fill you with optimism.

Family heirlooms just take up valuable space, especially if they're made of gold.

TAKE THE NESTEA PLUNGE

Huge burgers with cheeze and bacon have NO calories. Just top them off with a diet coke or pepsi!

Wal-Mart is staffed by helpful, knowledgeable people who are happy to be working there.

You can print The Lord's Prayer on any piece of junk, and somebody will buy it.

Cheap commemorative coins are legal tender if some third-world country is paid to recognize them as such.

Juicing vegetables is much better for you than just eating them.

Wearing an ugly metal bracelet can give you a feeling of wellbeing, but nobody appears to know how or why or even what it does.

Looking back, it should have been pretty obvious that Billy Mays was on something.

You can get a professional bodybuilder's physique using a Bowflex machine.

It's all right to discriminate against silly rabbits.

Eating hamburgers in front of characters with hamburgers for heads is neither creepy nor insensitive.

If some suicidal fish asks to be put in a can, it probably won't taste good.

Women go nuts for guys who douse themselves with cheap aftershave.

Heating up a small pre-cooked beef roast makes any meal feel like a special occasion.

Sugar Bear has to steal his own cereal.

THE NAMES THATS KNOWN IS FIRESTONE,WHERE THE RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD

Ozzymandias speaks again: I forgot one. Irritable bowel syndrome sounds sexy when Lynda Carter talks about it.

Ozzymandias has spoken!!!

SCRUBBING BUBBLES,SCRUBBING BUBBLES,During the holidays SANTA is a TAXI DRIVER,

Only Canadians are likely to get this one:

Santa and Scrooge hang out together as a sort of odd couple, trading various witty remarks.

While watching a TV show, you'll spend one-third of your time watching commercials for other TV shows.  And if you tune in to see those shows, you'll spend one-third of your time watching commercials for the show you're watching right now.  This ensures that the audience maintains a high level of interest in the TV shows.

can anyone remember WISK and its RING AROUND THE COLLAR or CHAFFON MARGERINE with ITS NOT NICE TO FOOL MOTHER NATURE