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PETA ACTIVISTS MISSING AFTER DECLARING "WAR ON LEATHER" AT A MOTORCYCLE RALLY

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.




http://glossynews.com/society/201001070305/activists-missing-after-declaring-war-on-leather-at-motorcycle-rally/


Probably not true . . . but still had me smiling all day long!

I wanna pee and fart on PETA-heads!  :bouncegiggle:

The moral of the story, class?

Don't f**k with motorcycle gangs.

I do hope this story is eventually proven as true.  I could go to sleep with my a smile on my face for quite a long time. 

I'm not sure what the title for the topic is all about, but alright.

If this is a true story, it just goes to show how big of idiots people can be.  Protesting leather and throwing red paint on people is one thing, but doing it to bikers is another.  You just don't go around trying to tick off these guys.

I mean these guys don't mess around with anyone, look at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NB5DcnDU-YU

Considering how people from PETA have the preservation instincts of a lemming, this could be a true story one of those days.

One guy on another forum commented that PETA types are almost proof of the impossibility of evolution.  Nothing that dumb could ever pass on its genes.

As far as the thread title . . . after a tough week, this story was reassurance to me that there is, indeed, a benevolent divine Being out there.

Thank you for posting this Indiana.  :thumbup:  :smile:  Your thread title is right on: it would be so sweet if this article proved to be true! 

Bah, I highly doubt those would really be the quotes were this to happen in real life; funny-ass concept though XD

This is very reminiscent of a story from TheOnion.  Funny thing, I know two Marines in Johnstown.  I'm going to email them.

I'm not sure if this has happen but I think there is some truth in the story...

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats...”


So I wonder of those PETA members were wearing LEATHER SHOES or a LEATHER BELT or a LEATHER band for their wrist watch... or if the Volkswagen had LEATHER SEATS...

Errr...  Did you look at the subheadline of "Glossynews"?  Right now for me it says "True-ish, not guaranteed".  One of the other news stories is "Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota to the Sioux".  There's also a story about Pat Robertson being injured by voodoo practicioners.

So.  Yeah.