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Other Topics => Entertainment => Topic started by: Nukie 2 on May 19, 2010, 07:35:29 PM



Title: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: Nukie 2 on May 19, 2010, 07:35:29 PM
Well you don't have to post one every day! whenever you read a funny or really good review.

this ones for that dreadful pixar rip-off Ratatoing

Ratatoing-Christian friendly movie of the year!, 31 July 2008
10/10
Author: phantombpr from United States

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

As a devout Christian mother of two children, it can be very hard to find a movie suitable for my children (ages 15 and 17). As I am sure I do not need to tell you, all Disney and Pixar movies are most certainly out of the question. The gratuitous amount of violence and sexual images that appear in these movies are damaging to a young child's soul.

When I happened upon the preview of this video on YouTube while at work (not to worry fellow mothers, I have the awful site blocked on my home computer, I am employed by the wonderful company of Colgate and monitor for any use of our copyrighted images) I knew immediately that this was a suitable video for my little babies.

This wonderful company took the violent Disney/Pixar movie "Ratatouille" and reformed it to a family-friendly version. I must also comment that the picture quality was much better than Disney's version. The graphics greatly exceed the sinful Ratatouille. It just shows that God is really on our side.

The movie opens with a scene of a statue (of God of course) over looking a beautiful backdrop. The movie then introduces the main characters of the film. I will admit that I often have a hard time following the plot lines of the movie while searching for any inappropriate material, so will just skip straight to that.

There are, unfortunately, a few moments during which you will have to shield your children's eyes from the film. Luckily, for some reason or another, these violent scenes are a bit vague in image texture (obviously, this company is run by good hearted Christians).

There was a scene in which I believed a cat was eating a mouse (a terrible image for anyone under 18 to be viewing), but fortunately, the creators managed to make it look like the cat was merely gnawing at the air, following which the mouse simply disappeared. Some may call this "terrible editing" but anyone who is not ignorant can obviously tell that this was simply put into effect to keep the child's mind pure.

So remember Christian mothers, install those parental controls, activate that V-chip, and for a good family movie to watch after giving daily thanks to our lord almighty, pick up Ratatoing! One of the best movies on God's green earth! Anyone who says different is ignorant. And believe me, I know ignorance!


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on May 20, 2010, 12:08:15 AM
I once saw a horrible one for Toxic Avenger 4.  I'll see if I can find it.

EDIT:
Damn! Couldn't find it.  Basic gist of it was the guy complaining about the offensiveness of the film.  Okay, valid.  I'm fine with that.  If a film offends you, or you're not turned on by shock value or anything of the like, then that's your bag and I respect that.  Mainly, he didn't like the scene where Pompey was being dragged by rednecks, saying it was taking a huge, racist shot at blacks.  He then goes on to say about how he likes black people and Mexicans and a whole list of other denominations.  Okay, fine, but why did you feel it necessary to say that?  Do you want a cookie or something?  Great, you're an upstanding member of society with minimal bias.  What bearing does this have on the movie? 

It was just so out of place and sudden, like he was feeling insecure about something. 


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: claws on May 20, 2010, 12:08:50 AM
Perhaps one of my favorite IMDb reviews:

Quote
Troll 2 worst date movie ever


This was really,really bad! I never heard of it,but my BF said it was a romantic thriller/ romantic comedy (he said it's got something for everyone) he shows to all his girls. He was really into us watching it together,so I tried to like it. But it's stupid! Everybody has bad hair, and dresses like it's the 80s, and the music is cheesy, plus the trolls look like midgets in potato sacks. And they can't blink because they're eyes are fake.I thought Elliott was hot, but weird. I can see where Holly's freaked about him spending so much time with his friends. Were they sleeping together naked? And she didn't know?!? I wanted to see where that romance plot line was going, but the movie doesn't even stay focused on it, there are these lame trolls getting in the way.If I'd written this, Holly would maybe get a makeover and some dance lessons,to keep Elliott from switching teams. There was too much about her dweeb brother and those troll-things so after awhile, you give up on this being a god date-movie.And if you watch this with a girl, don't try putting you're arm around her while that corn scene is on, it probably won't work.

2 out of 3 people found the following comment useful


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 20, 2010, 10:52:09 AM
Perhaps one of my favorite IMDb reviews:

Quote
Troll 2 worst date movie ever


This was really,really bad! I never heard of it,but my BF said it was a romantic thriller/ romantic comedy (he said it's got something for everyone) he shows to all his girls. He was really into us watching it together,so I tried to like it. But it's stupid! Everybody has bad hair, and dresses like it's the 80s, and the music is cheesy, plus the trolls look like midgets in potato sacks. And they can't blink because they're eyes are fake.I thought Elliott was hot, but weird. I can see where Holly's freaked about him spending so much time with his friends. Were they sleeping together naked? And she didn't know?!? I wanted to see where that romance plot line was going, but the movie doesn't even stay focused on it, there are these lame trolls getting in the way.If I'd written this, Holly would maybe get a makeover and some dance lessons,to keep Elliott from switching teams. There was too much about her dweeb brother and those troll-things so after awhile, you give up on this being a god date-movie.And if you watch this with a girl, don't try putting you're arm around her while that corn scene is on, it probably won't work.

2 out of 3 people found the following comment useful

Yeah, I broke up with her immediately after that.


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: Doggett on May 20, 2010, 12:34:01 PM
Anyone who says different is ignorant. And believe me, I know ignorance!

Yeah.

She sees it's ugly face in the mirror everyday ! :teddyr:


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 20, 2010, 03:00:26 PM
Not from the IMDB, but an excerpt from a Fangoria reader comment on Kevin Costner's THE NEW DAUGHTER:

"While it may not be the type of movie for some people, the people who like these kind of movies will love this movie."

I have no idea if he was being serious with that statement or not.   


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: Joe the Destroyer on May 21, 2010, 01:07:23 AM
Not from the IMDB, but an excerpt from a Fangoria reader comment on Kevin Costner's THE NEW DAUGHTER:

"While it may not be the type of movie for some people, the people who like these kind of movies will love this movie."

I have no idea if he was being serious with that statement or not.   


Makes me think of a tagline I read earlier this week for the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory video game.

"Much better than the horrid movie, but not much."

Um... So is it much better, or not much?


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: Doggett on May 27, 2010, 09:18:45 PM
I got this from a thread on the Emmanuelle page:

Obviously, if you are looking for the best actual *film* the first of any series is almost sure to be the best. If, on the other hand you are looking for the best "scene" you will have to watch each one and then rate the scenes on your own unique scale of quality, since one man's 1970's vintage porn is another man's narcolepsy.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: Nukie 2 on May 31, 2010, 11:41:06 PM
Film: Doggy Poo!

Its About Poo.... Enough Said!, 10 April 2005
1/10
Author: bdoty from United States

The animation quality of this feature is sub-par at best. That being said this low quality animation is the highlight of the film as it is at least passable and not complete junk like the story. The story has a strong focus on God and his role in the life of poo. I would think that this would be offensive to both the religious and non-religious types. I can understand how some people might think this film was a good to introduce your children to the idea of death and how to deal with it, but there is a huge problem with that notion. THE FILM IS ABOUT POO. Your children won't be able to stop laughing. If anything this film will belittle death and warp your children's notions of it. If you, as a parent, cannot confront your child about this subject matter, please do not use this film to do so. Find another, more able minded, adult to do it. This way your child will grow up normally and without the mental distress this film would have caused them. Just my 2 cents.


Title: Re: IMDB movie review of the day
Post by: claws on August 15, 2014, 01:06:53 PM
Not so much a review, but interesting inside story from a guy who worked on one of my favorite bad movies Nightmare Weekend

Quote
I was the on-line producer of "Nightmare Weekend" and was responsible for casting it. I have to agree that "Nightmare Weekend" may be the worst movie made of all time. The very fact that it has been considered for this category should speak volumes. However, while there is truth that this film was made for a direct-to-video release as was popular in the 80s, the film started with good intentions and a decent script. The problems arose when the co-executive producers, (all from France and England) who were supposed to put up their 50% of the $750,000 budget decided that in lieu of $, they would provide a script (horrible - written in French), a director (whose only credits I was told were porno pix out of Thailand, a film crew (again, all from France) and some equipment. We never got our money's worth. When we (I represented the American contingent) looked at the script, I hired a new writer (American) to re-write the entire thing. However, when we finally arrived on location in Ocala, Florida to begin shooting, the French writer had once-again re-written the entire film on instructions from the co-executive producer, an Indian chap named Bachoo Senn from India/London. It was a joke but once on location, there was little we could do.

All the young actors and actresses were having sex with one another (not that we cared). The acting was appalling, although I did take great pride in casting Dale Midkiff and Andrea Thompson, both of whom went on to somewhat successful careers. I gave up my dreams of the film business (having obtained my BA in film from Univ. Miami, Fla.) and now find the entire event amusing. I currently practice law on Wall Street. The only good thing to come out of that film was my daughter (now 19) who was conceived on location. Hope this clears things up for some readers.

By the way, I played the gas station attendant only because they needed someone and I happened to be there! Perhaps I stole the show.