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   Jack is a lonely paramedic who works the graveyard shift, picking up defunct winos, druggies, and hookers,  with his older, foulmouthed, anally obsessed partner Roger.  I mean, Roger has seriously got rectum on the brain - maybe because he has Irritable Bowel Syndrome, I dunno (What is it with movies and IBS?  I mean, ZOMBIELAND, THE LADYKILLERS, and now this dark vampire comedy all feature characters who not only have IBS but talk about it constantly!  Is this a conspiracy to make us all more bowel aware?  What's next?  PSA's before your movie, entitled "You and Your Colon?").  Jack's girlfriend Sherry has just broken up with him and is calling him up and griping because she wants all her stuff back . . . except, of course, she says she wants all her "sh!t" back.  No one in this movie uses regular words when profanity will suffice, especially Roger, who manages to work either the S-word, the F-bomb, or some synonym for derrierre into just about every sentence he utters.  Charming fellow.

   Where was I?  Oh, yeah, Jack.  Ol' Jackie boy is moping and mooning over his lost love Sherry, who dumped him for her Yoga instructor, when he finds the blood-covered, semiconscious  body of a beautiful woman named Danika in the trash dumpster behind his apartment.  He wants to take her to the hospital, but she begs him not to, so he takes her to his place instead.  She has a nasty laceration on her neck and a bad case of the DT's.  But, she cleans up drop dead gorgeous, and seemingly has no problem with Jack (or us) seeing her into the altogether - he no sooner gets all the blood wiped off of her and a bandage on her neck before she changes out of her old clothes and into some of Sherry's while Jack tries really hard not to look . . . or not to look like he's looking.  The next evening he wakes up to find her curled in a fetal position on the couch, trembling all over.  She is starved, but nothing in the apartment will satisfy her, or do anything but make her puke.  Jack promises to try and get her some meds, and goes in to work.  Then ex-girlfriend Sherry comes by to pick up her "sh!t", and lo and behold!  Danika finds what it is she was hungry for!  Jack comes home to find his old girlfriend lying on the floor drained of blood, and his new amour feeling very frisky . . . at least, till she gets hungry again!  It seems new vampires need to feed A LOT.  And Jack's apartment doesn't have a lot of good hiding places for the drained husks of Danika's meals.

   This is a dark comedy about the downside of falling in love with one of the undead.  It is pretty hilarious in places, and Danika is VERY easy on the eyes.  As the body count rises and Jack misses more and more work due to lack of sleep and physical fatigue from hiding his true love's leftovers, the question arises . . . is true love from a very hot woman worth having to dispose of one body a night?  Can any relationship succeed when one partner regards the other as a potential Happy Meal?

This is a pretty fun, sexy vampire romp that is a perfect antidote for recovering TWILIGHT victims.  Or at least, suitable revenge if your significant other is a card carrying member of Teams Edward or Jacob.

Indy sez check it out!

I told you not to tell anybody about that!

Sounds like a pretty good movie, I'll have to check it out  :teddyr: