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I'm sure we all have one or two of these. Things people do to be nice to you that just p**s you off, and you can't say a thing about it without looking petty or grouchy.

When I'm getting my keys out, I'll sometimes drop a penny or two out of my pocket. Either I don't notice, or I figure it's not worth putting down my groceries to pick up anything smaller than a quarter. Rowan likes to find coins on the front porch, so I just leave the odd penny or nickel where it falls.

So, what's offensive? People who come to the door and feel compelled to do what wasn't worth my time right in front of me, bending over and picking up pennies and then handing them to me. "Oh look, you dropped some money." Older gentlemen tend to do this, but it's not exclusive to them.

OK, you've come to my door for something, and it wasn't to look for loose change. Why are you wasting my time? Who told you to pick anything up off my porch? And why the hell do you think I need three pennies you picked up off the ground? Am I supposed to be grateful? I notice these people don't feel a need to pick up a loose bit of litter or anything else, just small change, which they make a production of handing to me. I'd be less offended if they picked the pennies up and kept them before they rang the bell.

I could ignore this if it was one person's idiosyncrasy, but it's happened at least three times in the past year, with different people. What is the deal with that?

People saying "sorry" just because you happened to come around a corner at the same time as them. It's like a plague in my country...I mean, what are they sorry for? Coincidentally meeting? It's not like they necessarily bumped into you (which could warrant a quick "sorry"). Then again, when you spend enough time in this country you start to realize that our frequent "sorry"s aren't apologies; they're just a habit we picked up as children so as to seem as inoffensive and polite as possible.

I suppose it is better to hear a polite if completely insecere apology than an honest "f*ck you" when you meet a stranger at the corner, though.

1.) One time I got a flat tire about a half mile from my then appartment.  I drove up the street on it slowly figuring the driveway would be best to change it and this manical woman is behind me all the while blarring her horn.  I pull into the driveway and she stops in the middle of the road, rolls down her window and shouts, "EXCUSE ME, YOU HAVE A FLAT TIRE".  No f*cking sh!t, really?  You mean my car shaking wasn't normal?  Thanks for stressing me out further.  

2.) People who hold the door for you while you are about 50 yards away.  That way you have to go into a half @ssed run to get to the door to not seem rude.  However, as time goes on I find myself walking slower.   :teddyr:

3.) People who ask "are you alright" right away when you fall.  It just seems like the wrong time to ask such a question.

People who come to my door to try and convert me to their religion. I'm sure they're doing something that they feel is very nice. Afterall, they're trying to save my soul, right? If they're right about the afterlife, that would be a very nice thing, wouldn't it? "Offend" is not the right word. More like "annoy."

On that note, someone trying to stop me to talk about their faith or to convert me in a public place does not annoy me, at least it annoys me very, very little. Just don't come to my house.

Now, if my house is on fire, you have full permission to come in and save my ass.

I didn't realize until now you were Canadian. :teddyr:

The other one I hate is people who are all apologetic about passing me in a store aisle. I'm looking at something, I deliberately make room for them to pass, and they hesitate, bob up and down a couple of times, then scoot across quickly while ducking their heads nowhere near enough to accomplish anything and muttering "excuse me."

Thanks. That cockatoo mating dance was really less of a distraction than if you'd just walked in front of me. :lookingup:

It's all about making a visible effort to avoid being inconsiderate. Not everybody goes to that much trouble, but the minimum seems to be to hesitate, move somewhat quickly and mutter a quick apology. I took a step back to make room, I'm clearly aware of their presence, and they have every right to walk there. Just walk by and our interaction is complete. Anything more only makes it more distracting.

I think what bugs me about unnecessary apologies or politeness are they put the obligation on me. I have to graciously accept an apology somebody didn't need to make, that was more of an annoyance than if they'd just been "rude" by saying nothing. They made a gesture that needlessly cast me as the guy who needed to be appeased. Apologies should be about taking responsibility, but in a weird way, they can also put responsibility on the other guy. You've been courteous to me, and now I owe you something, however insignificant.

When I'm playing golf and I hit a ball way out into the woods, out of bounds.  I hit another ball (that's what the rules say you're supposed to do), and just leave the first one out in the woods.  I've got probably 5 lbs of balls in my golf bag, and at least two shoe boxes of them at home - what do I care if I lose one?  But there's always somebody who's got to go trudging out there to look for something I didn't want in the first place.  An of course I've got to go help them - can't let somebody else climb through the woods looking for my ball while I ignore them.   :lookingup:

This other guy I play golf with doesn't have the best eyesight.  So I'm walking around in the rough and he's always got some suggestions as to where he thinks my ball went.  But it's not a ball - It's a piece of paper, or plastic, or a white dandelion or something.  But I've gotta walk all the freakin' way over there, knowing full well it's not a golf ball.  I'd like to say "You can't see for s***, so stop making suggestions." 

People who think they are being helpful but are really just being A holes. Perfect example... I was at a convenience store looking through the cold medicine because I felt like crap(should have been a clue that I wasn't in a good mood) and this guy walks up to me and says... you would be really pretty if you lost a little weight.. what? oh, hell no, he didn't just say that to me! I said, its funny you say that because I was just thinking damn, I wish I could lose some weight so I would look good to some dumb ass stranger.. He replied, I was just trying to help you, b***h! and stormed off.   :hatred:

I had no idea of your gender, but now I do. Amazing! I have no doubt he actually thought that was a nice thing to say to a stranger, but it's still amazing there are people that clueless.

I HATE that. oh my god it is the OPPOSITE of courtesy when I have to run to the door

Yeah, walking up to a strange woman and giving her advice on how she could look better to you is just creepy, no matter what your intentions are. Hope he caught the cold. :teddyr:

I think I have, on maybe one or two occasions, felt it was appropriate to compliment a woman I did not know and had no intention of getting to know. And then it was somebody who made some unconventional fashion choices that I really liked, and it came off more as "good for you, I like what you've done" than anything else.

When someone is eating something and they say, "Do you want some?  It's really good.  Seriously.  Just try a little.  Just have a bite.  It's so good.  Here, have some of mine.  Just a taste . . ."

I DON'T WANT IT , DAMN YOU!

4.) I hate when people offer up advice no one asked for in an attempt to make life "easier".  I find older people do this a lot because they're under the impression age always = wisdom. 

5.) People who repeatedly insist on saying, "you didn't have to do that" when you buy them a gift.  Shut the f*ck up and take the gift already!

6.) People who buy you Christmas ornaments during the holidays.  What the hell am I going do with something I can keep out for a few weeks in December?  Spend the 5 bucks on a 12 pack of soda and I'll be happier.

I'm with you.  It's just a damn golf ball. 

People who stop when you want to cross the road and then point and blow incessantly about you getting across as fast as you can. Jeez, what'd you even stop for then?! :lookingup:

Sometimes when the breakfast girl is sick and/or doesn't show up, I end up having to work the breakfast area (usually I just set breakfast out around five and work it until 6:30, then the hostess takes over.)  On a few occasions, I've had to stay a little extra until someone else can come in to take over, and once or twice I had to do the WHOLE breakfast period. 

Now, I don't really like working breakfast, it's a lot of running around, the kitchen is hot like crazy, and time just slows to a crawwwwwl when you're doing that job.  Anyway, one time, I'm dashing around, sweating dripping off me like crazy, trying NOT to get p**sed because, after all, this isn't really my job, and several of the guests in the hotel smile at me and say, "They're really working you hard, aren't they?" 

:hatred: :hatred:

I hate it when people stop when they aren't supposed to and don't need to. If I'm crossing the street somewhere other than a crossing, cars aren't supposed to stop. If one does stop, it takes a few seconds to confirm the driver's intentions. If he'd just driven by, I could already be crossing the street.

Same at intersections with all-way stop signs. If I drive up to one of these, I know how right of way is determined, but there's usually some jackass who always wants to let the other guy go first. Sorry, but in the time it takes to sort out that you're giving up the right of way, we both could have gone. Of course, not all of these guys are being nice. Most of them just don't know what they're doing and they're scared to go first in case they're wrong.

I once merged onto a street and ended up slowing to a crawl because the guy I was supposed to yield to was determined to let me in. It was late at night, and we might have been the only two cars on the street. I come off the expressway, there's a car where I need to go, so I hold off on accelerating until it passes. This idiot decides to be nice and let me in, so he slows down. There isn't another car anywhere near this guy, just wide open space in front and behind him. It's not rush hour or anything. I don't need his help to merge. All I know is there's a car sitting in my blind spot and he won't get out. I take my foot right off the gas, and this other guy, who is already on the road and has the right of way, continues to slow down. We're well below the speed limit before I figure out what he's doing and step on the gas.

If you're supposed to drive, then drive. Otherwise, you're just causing confusion.

Oh!  I hate when I come to work looking slightly different than I normally do because all stinkin’ day people are stopping me to make a big loud to-do about my appearance.  I wouldn’t mind if it was just a simple compliment while we were talking, but it’s always someone interrupting me while I’m doing something or stopping me before I’ve even got to my desk to make a big show of the fact that I’m wearing a dress today instead of pants, or green instead of black, or my hair is down instead of up.  I’m really shy as it is and I hate being the center of attention, which is probably why these people purposely make such a fuss, but it’s totally embarrassing to me.  I’d love to wear dresses and different colors every day but I’m so afraid of these people and their “compliments” that I just go back to the same old thing.  


I don’t see how those people can think they’re being kind.  I can’t stand it when someone points out some obvious physical flaw, like weight, or a zit, or “you look like crap”.  What is pointing out something that I’m completely aware of going to do?  How does that help?  It only makes things worse!

Now if I have chocolate on my face, toilet paper on my shoe, or there’s a hole on the butt of my pants, does anyone say anything to me?  Nope!  I just get looked at weird by strangers until I figure it out for myself.

Believe it or not, I sometimes have trouble talking so I hate it when people try to "help" by second-guessing me or finishing my sentences for me.  :buggedout:

My wife can drive me nuts when we're eating dinner.  "Would you like some salt?  Some milk?  Is it too hot?  Is it hot enough?  Did I give you too much?  Would you like some more?  Do you want to get it yourself, or should I get it for you?"

I'd just like to finish chewing this mouthful of food without somebody asking me 20 freakin' questions! 

People who say "ITS FRIDAY" at work.  God I hate that.

I see there's a few shy people on here. Don't you hate it when some extrovert makes an extra effort to draw you out, include you, or get you involved in something? Who are they to decide what's enjoyable for me, or what level of participation suits me? It's not so bad if it's somebody who makes the effort, but respects my wishes if I politely decline or give some other sign that I'm really all right taking a more passive role in whatever is going on. But there are those people who just can't see beyond what they think is pleasant or proper, and they just keep bugging. That just makes me uncomfortable, and depending on how persistent they are, it can make me angry. I think I've told you guys in another thread about the evening of dinner theatre that almost turned violent when a couple of determined actors attempted to physically wrestle me out of my seat. They thought it would be fun, and I'm sure they did not realize how close they came to getting the crap knocked out of them. I had no trouble pulling away from them, and I could just as easily have started punching, but they finally backed off. In hindsight, it would have been a good lesson to those guys if I'd called the cops and had them hauled out of there on assault charges, but it would have ruined our vacation. :teddyr:

That can be the worst.  I do appreciate their well-meant intentions when someone offers or tries *tactfully* to draw me out a bit. It's nice that someone wants me included.  But when they persist/insist, making a fuss, the discomfort generated is awful: why can't they take 'no, thank you' for an answer?

I recall at my current job the first three months being kind of forced to go to lunch with some of my coworkers.  From day one I insisted that I really enjoy solitude during my lunch break however these folks just had to pry to get me to go with them.  In order not to look too douchebag-ish (which I should have never felt in the first place seeing they should've let up) I went.  After three months I just bailed on them and have been eating at my desk ever since. 

My mom had that habit until a few months ago. While she was visiting, she was asking me a question while I was eating. I tried to answer, I started to choke and then threw up on the carpet. She's let me eat until I was finished since then.

I think we might be brothers, Andy. :teddyr:

I'm by nature a gentle person (see me interact with kids and you'll realize that) but some people just don't know not to hassle me or to push me. A bully in high school pushed me too far in 1981 and I put him in hospital for a few weeks ~ the legend about me is that no one messes with me, if they've any sense at all.

People push me too far sometimes and then they're upset when I lose my temper: Did you &^%$#@'s think I was going to just sit there and take your sh*t?  :question:

Although I'm a little afraid what Harry Potter's Dad would do for having toilet paper on your shoe...  :buggedout:

I didn't mind going for lunch with co-workers when I worked at a paper where we all developed some genuine camaraderie on the job and got along well together. It would be awkward going to lunch with people right off the bat.

The last job I had, I really wanted nothing to do with anyone on a personal level, and actively disliked a couple of people, and yet they kept holding these team building, morale boosting get-togethers. In true corporate fashion, they didn't give a s**t about morale from Monday to Friday, but scheduled official times to have it boosted off the clock. OK, if I wanted to associate with any of these people outside of work, I would, and if you want to boost my morale, try not to be such pricks to work for. I don't think I went to a single one of those things, and I know I wasn't seen as a team player. They had kind of a warped idea of what a team is.

The group I got stuck with was the gossip queens sadly.  You know, the people that needed to know more about "the new guy" than everyone else even if they truly at heart didn't care.  When I broke it off they seem to take it personally.  I simply informed them I'd rather be alone at lunch.  I really had nothing much in common with them. 

I should point out too, people who tell me my food looks good while I'm eating get on my nerves too. 

Tying the handles of grocery bags into knots to make them easier to carry. 

People who try to strike up a long-winded conversation with me when they don't know me at all.  Did I ASK you to talk to me for a long time??  :hatred:  And then when you give obvious signs you don't want really want to talk much (walk away slightly when they pause, look the other direction, pick up a book, etc.) they TOTALLY don't get the hint.  SHUT UP!!!

Not something that offended me, but it does continue from being shy and not terribly sociable at my last job. There were some emails being forwarded between me, another reporter at my office (who I actually got along with), and a reporter at one of our sister papers where all of the production was consolidated. I occasionally went down there to supervise the final pagination of our paper, and really got along with people there much better in fact. But I still took a little while to warm up and join in.

Anyway, the reporter from there emails the person at my office (continuing this long string of forwards and replies), and at the end of the message happens to mention "What's with Andy? I try to be friendly and he doesn't respond. Weird." Fair enough, except that she accidentally clicked "reply all" and sent a copy to me. Oops. :buggedout: So I answered her question. Told her I'm a very introverted person by nature, and have what might be called a mild social phobia. It doesn't affect professional interaction with people, but small talk and casual greetings don't really come naturally to me, but I will be sure to say hi next time." To be honest I can be so preoccupied at times, especially with a busy day ahead, she might have spoken to me and I just didn`t notice.

I wasn't mad or embarrassed or anything. I know I can seem unfriendly, and I'd rather have the chance to explain something like that. Besides, she was the one who would s**t herself when she got a reply back from me. :teddyr: And sure enough, I got an immediate response with that panicky "Oh God, I'm so sorry!" beginning. I was sure to always say hello to her after that.