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Information Exchange => Movie Reviews => Topic started by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:00:04 PM



Title: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:00:04 PM
It's show time!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:01:52 PM
1 min - Wow. I thought the aliens in Star Trek looked bad.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:02:31 PM
1 min - Aliens use bendy straws to suck water out of the ground.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:04:03 PM
2 min - I don't know what that is..... Let's throw rocks at it!!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:05:29 PM
3 min - Why is there a blue sky?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:06:53 PM
4 min - NASA can make devices that can suck in large alien creatures and bend them like Mr. Fantastic.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:11:08 PM
7 min - Is that old guy James Lipton? Probably not.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:12:08 PM
8 min - ZUUULL MOTHERf**kA ZUUUUULLL!!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:13:48 PM
9 min - An alien can penetrate and shatter glass by pressing it's hands against it.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:16:07 PM
10 min- An alien can survive holding onto an electric fence for over 30 seconds, live, then get hit by a car, and still live. Also they get flattened they live and look like cartoons.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:18:42 PM
12 min - "It was probably an ADUI! Alien driving under the influence! HAHAHA!!"

I must find this child and kill him for that joke.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:20:21 PM
13 min - This kid has a VERY annoying voice! It sounds like Ralph Machio after smoking 15 packs of Marlboros.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:22:25 PM
14 min - How come Mommy didn't see the alien in the rear view mirror?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:24:38 PM
16 min - OH MAH GAWD! THE KID IS A CRIPPLE BUT YOU COULDN'T TELL EARLIER BECAUSE OF THE CAR! WHAT A TWIST!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:26:06 PM
16 min - It's appropriate to use your brother in a wheel chair as a shopping cart.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:28:42 PM
19 min - This kid's dad was Billy Mays. HA!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:30:12 PM
20 min - RC car remotes have enough battery power for 8 seconds of use before it dies.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:33:00 PM
21 min -
"Here's your toww (Sounds like "Toe")!"
"Huh?"
"Tuna on whole wheat!"

Sounds... Appetizing! I'd love to eat toes!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:37:51 PM
24 min -

"Look! Somebody left footprints!"
"Yeah right! Like Mom's gonna believe that!"
So I guess it was the kid in the wheel chair who left those prints?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:43:45 PM
30 min - How does the alien know how earth power tools work?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:45:46 PM
31 min - She finds the entire living room revamped into a forest style and she thinks the kid in the wheel chair did it. Logic? WHAT'S THAT?! Should I also mention this alien did this overnight without waking anyone?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:47:45 PM
32 min - The wheel chair kid thought it was a smart idea to attempt to go down a steep hill. Wow.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:48:49 PM
33 min - How is he staying up in the water like that if his legs don't work?!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:49:34 PM
33 min - HOW IS HE STILL IN HIS WHEEL CHAIR?! He was struggling to stay on the surface!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 05:54:36 PM
37 min - McDonald's Product placement count: 1


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:00:20 PM
41 min - I was afraid of this movie being a rip-off of ET. Guess what. They stole the scene where the little boy baits ET into a trap. This time it's straws and not Reese's Pieces. HOW SHAMELESS ARE THESE BASTARDS?!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:01:41 PM
41 min - I guess vacuums are these thing's weakness.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:04:16 PM
43 min -

"This must be what they like to drink on their own planet!"

Coca-Cola?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:06:52 PM
46 min - Why did it's skin tone get lighter?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:09:23 PM
48 min - And once again... OVER NIGHT... The alien completely revamped the house. But now it's normal again. What B.S.!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:12:33 PM
50 min - WHAT THE **** IS HAPPENING?! WHY IS THERE AN ATMOSPHERE ON MARS?! HOW ARE THESE THINGS ALIVE?! WHY DO THEY HAVE CLOTHES?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 :hot:


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:13:48 PM
50 min - This is the worst Mom ever! She's taking her crippled son on a down hill jog with her!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:14:38 PM
51 min - Why are there so many dogs on this street?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:20:16 PM
56 min - Why do all the kids in this movie have the most annoying voices ever?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:21:54 PM
57 min - There were so many funny faces made in one scene. HAHAHA!!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:23:12 PM
57 min -

"What's he doing in there?"
"I think he's putting steering wheels on his wheel chair"

BWAHAHAHA!! That's worse than the "Flat Tire" comment from "Thankskilling".


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:24:58 PM
57 min - Another ET rip-off. He put the alien in a suit. This time it's a giant teddy bear. THAT HE PLANS ON TAKING TO A PARTY! I could take this kid's lunch mon-...

Actually he's a in a wheel chair... I'd feel like a dick.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:27:48 PM
1 hour - What's with the random musical number?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:29:08 PM
McDonald's Product Plug count: 2


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:31:06 PM
1 hr. 1 min - Several kids saw the "Teddy Bear" stretch out a weirdly long alien hand. Gee, I think bringing the alien out in public was a BAD THING!!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:32:49 PM
1 hr. 2 min - How is everybody falling for this "It's an anamatronic teddy!" bulls**t? It's the 80's! We don't even have that kind of tech today!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:34:29 PM
1 hr. 2 min - That's pretty good choreography for a flash mob.  


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:37:26 PM
1 hr. 4 min - These guys are having trouble catching a little boy in a wheel chair?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:40:22 PM
1 hr. 7 min - Did she just walk through shattered glass bear foot?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:45:28 PM
1 hr. 11 min - I'm so confused. What's all this about horses and windmills? Somebody please make sense of this film!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:49:29 PM
Sorry if I'm not posting enough. This film is mind numbingly terrible, I can barely pay attention at this point.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:52:41 PM
1 hr. 16 min - *FACE PALM*

They actually LIVE off of Coca-Cola?! Where the f**k are they finding Coke on MARS?! UNDER GROUND?! WHY DO THEY HAVE STRAWS ON MARS?! THIS IS THE WORST PIECE OF GARBAGE TO DISGRACE SCIENCE FICTION SINCE BATTLEFIELD EARTH!!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 06:55:37 PM
1 hr. 18 min - Can you believe that the adult aliens look even worse than that "MAC" thing?!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: bob on March 18, 2011, 06:58:56 PM
You're almost done. You can finish it!  :thumbup:


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: RD on March 18, 2011, 06:59:42 PM
I just got back from PAUL and yes, there was a Mac and Me reference.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:00:43 PM
1 hr. min 22 - Did that alien give that lady the bird?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:02:15 PM
1 hr. 22 min - THEY DID NOT JUST LET THE ALIENS IN THE f**kING CONVENIENCE STORE!!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:05:26 PM
1 hr 24 min -


1) The aliens just got surrounded by cops. I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD GO BAD!
2) Is that O.J. Simpson?


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:07:22 PM
1 hr 25 min - WOW! That store was full of explosives! How did a shotgun shot travel that far?! GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD~!!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:10:06 PM
1 hr. 26 min - The cripple died? How? He wasn't THAT close to the explosion!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:13:13 PM
1 hr 28 min. - THE ALIENS SURVIVED THE EXPLOSION?! NO! NOOO!!! THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THEIR F**KING MAGICAL POWERS! THEY SHOULD BE DEAD! DEAD!! DEAD!!!! QUENCH MY THIRST FOR BLOOD! REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!

[Technical Difficulties, we'll be right back!]


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:14:28 PM
THEY DID NOT JUST BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE! AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHGHHHHGGHHHHH!!!!!  :hatred:


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:17:04 PM
1 hr. 31 min -



(http://bulk.destructoid.com/ul/user/1/17189-130475-RageFace2png-620x.jpg)


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:20:00 PM
1 hr. 32 min - I should be disturbed by the aliens dressed like humans in this scene. But what gets me is really that that Asian girl looks a lot like the aliens.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:20:51 PM
McDonald's Product count = 3


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:22:33 PM
1 hr. 34 min - THE ALIEN CAN DRIVE NOW?!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:23:57 PM
End of Film - I want to die................


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: bob on March 18, 2011, 07:25:27 PM
(http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f55/BIGWIGGUM/MAC.jpg)


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:25:48 PM
In conclusion, this is HORRIBLE! Ungodly AWFUL! It's a rip-off of ET, it has way too many product placements the aliens look like s**t, the plot is cookie cutter and the sound gave me a head ache. In the end I'd give this film a 2/10.

I want it to DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE~!!!!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: bob on March 18, 2011, 07:29:55 PM
Good job!


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 07:41:32 PM
([url]http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f55/BIGWIGGUM/MAC.jpg[/url])


That really summed everything up.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: bob on March 18, 2011, 07:49:52 PM
Thanks. I made that for a worst movie ever tournament at another forum.


Title: Re: A.J. Bauer Reviews: "Mac & Me"
Post by: Olivia Bauer on March 18, 2011, 08:42:19 PM
Thanks. I made that for a worst movie ever tournament at another forum.

It's not the worst film ever but it's is really up there with things like Manos and Nukie.