Badmovies.org Forum

On the flip side of What can you do that most people cannot do - What are some things that you can't do that most people can?

For one, I can't  ... whistle.  From the time I was a little kid, I tried, but could never get it right.  I have huffed, puffed, and puckered ... but just haven't been able to master such a simple thing.

I also can't shuffle a deck of cards too well either. I fumble so much I might as well be wearing oven mitts.

How about you guys? 

I can't snap my fingers.

Fix mechanical things.  I usually make it worse so I don't bother usually.

Can't blow my nose...

Can't shuffle cards very well either...

Can't whistle...

I'm useless when it comes to carpentry and most mechanical things...

Keep my cool. :thumbup:

You and I are birds of a feather then. I can't do it for the life of me. You should have seen the last time I did it. Cards to the left of me, cards to the right... :bouncegiggle:

Show any shred of patience when following written instructions involving assembly.
Or keep my cool when I bump into things or knock things over.

same here! :teddyr:

I can't deal with heights. Once I get up more any significant distance I start to freak out a little bit. That's what happens when your a flatlander.

I'm with you there, my stomach starts to turn when I get up high. 


Speaking of that I used to have trouble but I can't describe at some point it clicked.  I wish I could give a good idea of how to do but alas I'm poor at giving instructions. 

Like a few others have said, I can't whistle.  I can sort of make a high pitched sound, but it's not the same.

I can't, for the life of me, tell a good joke.  When I try, either it's just not funny, or I end up offending somebody.  I mean, I can repeat a joke (Why did the chicken cross the road...) but I can't make a joke on the spot after someone says something.  For that, I'll always been known to my friends as a Socially Awkward Penguin. :lookingup:

:bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: that's a good, what yer talkin about? :thumbup: :bouncegiggle:

I can't blow my nose or shuffle cards fancy either.
 
I also can't tread water.. is that what it's called?  - I can swim, but I can't swim in place.

Low body fat + small feet = hard to tread water. Means you aren't fat enough.

I can't "roll" my tongue and I can't wiggle my ears. Can't burp on command either.

I was recently in Hawaii, and for the very first time in my life I found I could float in water. That's because I am now fat enough to float. For most of my life I was to dense to be able to float. Now I can. Thank you beer!

I am incapable of instantly telling left from right. I don't know what it is, but if somebody asks me if something is to the left or right, I still have to put my hands in front of me and make the "L" with left hand. Some sort of mental block, but it's never clicked for me.

I have no capacity to do maths beyond the most basic of sums.  I'm fascinated by the subject and in awe of those who are good at it, but without a calculator, I'm pretty much dead in the water.

My typing is really putrid.  I took two semesters of typing in high school and that skill has just been deteriorating ever since. 

Can't remember stuff.  Couldn't remember the words radish or chives.  Or the name of one of my uncles.   

hi
I cannot for the life of me satisfy my wife in bed, no matter how many books i read on the subject or how many movies i watch i am incapable of giving my wife the orgasm she so desperately wants,aaaahhhhhhhh the pressures us men must shoulder.

Funny.  She never has trouble reaching orgasm with me.   :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout:

I can't type with all 10 fingers.  I took a typing class in high school (on an electric typewriter . . . hey, it was around 1981) and I could type very well by the end of the class (I got an "A")!  Unfortunately, I rarely used my typing skills in the years that followed and I forgot how to type.  Now, I type with 2 fingers (and I can type reasonably fast, thank you, but not nearly as fast as if I used all 10).

   

Hadn't thought of that. I tried wiggling my ears.  Another I can't do ....

pu·trid   /ˈpyutrɪd/  Show Spelled
[pyoo-trid]  Show IPA
 
–adjective
1. in a state of foul decay or decomposition, as animal or vegetable matter; rotten.
2. of, pertaining to, or attended by putrefaction.
3. having the odor of decaying flesh.
4. thoroughly corrupt, depraved, or evil.
5. of very low quality; rotten.

WOW! Does your typing actually produce a rotting smell?

 :teddyr:

I can't seem to watch Avatar, but seeing as it made a gazillion dollars, obviously most people can.

Some people think so, but actually that's just, um...well I like spicy foods and they tend to give me gas.

Someone is trying too hard, probably both of you. Ask her if she can make the solo flight, and if she can't, that's where she should start. Once she can, start with that, and work your way to flying the mission yourself. Keep in mind, you'll probably never be able to make the flight without help from her, women often just don't work that way. Also, work on passing the oral exam, and remember, it's all informal tests, so you can bring in whatever you need to help you pass.

Just a helpful tip from you're Uncle Greg.

I can do them at the same time

Gotcha. I was concerned that your typing might be corrupt, depraved, or evil, in which case I was prepared to avoid all future posts.

 :wink:

hi
I knew it! i spent all that time watching Blue movies(against my will) reading all those porn magazines and having to force myself into trying out my new techniques with all those women,all in the hope that one day i would be able to please my loving wife, and guess what?. All i had to do was ask my uncle Greg and my fav forum member the master and i would have my answer.

thank-you
Tonight my wife will scream so loud you guys in America shall be able to hear her,  yippppeeeeeeee

Standing by.

 :teddyr:

While we're waiting I thought I'd mention that I can't whistle. Not my forte.

Also, do you know 'the alphabet trick' ? It's actually pretty effective for her, and entertaining for you. I believe it can be used to embed subliminal messages into a woman's mind, but at this point, it's just a theory.

Bravo!

Take contructive criticism.   My way is the only way when doing certain things hence why I plan a lot of stuff alone.

Relate to other people.

Agreed.

Those are words to live by.  :cheers:

Uh oh.. I didn't hear anything

All I hear is a cry for help...
 :wink:

Can't drive.  I just can't do it.  Refuse to, also.

Also, I have almost no patience when dealing with children.  They bug me.  I don't get it.  They're creepy and always seem to be sticky and covered in jam or jelly.  Even when freshly bathed.  And they never shut up.  No offense to anyone.

I hear a faint sound of music- Is yer wife from Chatter box? JK! wait, i-i think i.....hear her: it's a cry of.....torture? :tongueout:

I don't either, for 2 reasons: gas is insanely expensive (as is auto insurance), and my job pays for all my public transportation (bus, train).
Loud or unruly kids bug me but so do their parents, who are likely talking to someone else or looking at clothes or something, and paying zero attention to their brood.

With the advice I gave him, he likely excited her into a coma. That's fairly common the first time mere mortals partake in the way of Greg for their lovemaking session. You know how professional fighters have to register their hands as dangerous weapons? Guess what part I have to register.

Also, I'm surprised there's no questions about 'The Alphabet Trick'. I'm 100% serious about it, and it's uber-effective. Once you know it, it makes sense.

I'll stick to giving you my usual UN-constructive criticism then :teddyr:

hi
Don't worry guys! that was the earth moving but it is not an earthquake it is just my wife enjoying herself.Uncle Greg i couldn't remember if you said the alphabet system or the numbers system,so i just stuck to the numbers system and performed a certain number that always seems to work.Doggett do you ever disagree with anyone?
My wife would like to thank you all for the advice and now i am the flavour of the month i get to purchase some movies on amazon without my wife giving me a headache.
So next time i am making love i shall post it on youtube under the title
                     "This ain't no badmovie,this is for real"

"I'll buy THAT for a dollar!"

Did you use the numbers from Lost? According to the show they have special powers.

[Ignoring all the sex talk]

I can't burp on purpose. It occasionally happens by itself, but I can't will it to happen. Luckily, the same can't be said for other ways of emitting gas.  :buggedout: :tongueout:

I have a lot of trouble fastening my bra behind my back.  I can reach, but I just can't get the right hooks together.  Most girls are pros at this by now, but I still have to do it in front and spin it around.


I have no idea what that is, I thought about asking, but decided it's probably best that I don't know.

It's not something YOU need to know. It's not weird in a bad way, but rather a good one.

Yeah, that was a staple in Sam Kinison's act for years. Good advice. That and shave off that stubble before venturing into the breach.

Yeah, that was a staple in Sam Kinison's act for years. Good advice. That and shave off that stubble before venturing into the breach.
[/quote]
Ick.  If it bleeds, I don't feed.  :bluesad:

I did not know that, , , I must have missed that one.

Yeah, that was definately a Kinison bit, including "while I'm at it I think I'll write a letter to Santa."

Also known as "yodeling in the canyon."  I believe I heard that one from George Carlin.