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EDIT: Dammit, I really need to proofread these things before I post them... Anyway, in high school, he DATED a girl I knew, way I originally wrote it made it seem like they were dating currently.  Sorry for the confusion.  The girl, BTW, I still keep in semi-touch through Facebook.

I just found out that one of the guys in my high school graduating class committed suicide.  

I had a few classes with the guy, but I didn't really know him that well.  I mean, I know he was very intelligent, had a dry wit about him, and I overheard him talking to some friends once about how he was diagnosed maniac depressive.  I guess years of dealing with that problem finally got to him.  

Also found out he actually DATED a friend of mine during high school, a young lady I was rather fond of (I suppose I still am in some ways).  That's kind of irrelevant now, but it's just one those, "Oh, yeah, and also..." type of things.

I don't know really what to think.  I feel bad for his family, his parents, and siblings (from what I understand Ben was single), and for his friends.  I called the funeral home, and they're going to have a private service, so I asked about sending a card or something.  

I wish I could say I don't know what it's like to want to end your own life, but I do.  It's something I've given more than a passing thought to, but I always kind of thought, Well, I've made it this long, I guess I'll be able to last the rest of the way, and here's someone my age, and, in some ways, a rather similar disposition, who didn't.

Ahh.. I feel selfish even mentioning that.  The guys dead and I'm just blabbing about myself here.  But then again, grief is like that.  It's not the person who died but how their death affects us, I suppose.

I'm sorry to hear that. It must be hard...

It is sad when events like this happen. I wish the family the best through this sad time for them.

Sorry to hear that.  I remember back when I was in high school in the morning hearing on the PA about kids that died that I knew personally.  Sad thing.

Someone I worked with who was in my graduating class and myself once made a joke about our graduating class having a round table reunion after a recent suicide and then discussion between us of how many suicides and fatal accidents there had been in our class.

Keep in mind the numbers weren't staggering, it's just when you can list people off the top of your head, counting them out on your fingers as you go, it seems like a lot, but when you compare it to the number of graduates, it's not a lot.

In every graduating class there are suicides and fatal accidents, and as we get older those who have died from medical conditions well before their time.

Suicides are problematic as we try to understand what sent someone over the edge.



No, it's really not a selfish question. When something is personal and we are trying to understand it, we don't know what it's like to be somebody else and think what they thought, experience what they experienced; the only comparison we have is how we might feel. As we get older and pass through tragedies in our lives, we gain a level of compassion; an understanding, not personally, of how someone might hurt or feel in a situation, because...we've hurt.

It's not selfish to feel...to question...and to at least gain an understanding of how we feel, which might later come out as compassion when someone hurts.

As for knowing what it feels like to want to end your own life, most of us have probably been there. Not to take away from your statement, but to add to it that you are not in a minority or have anything to feel self-conscious about.

In bad situations, in pain, when feelings are overwhelming, some will seek an escape; and in such mindsets...rationality is not necessarily there and something drastic seems like an answer...but answers have conclusions and suicide does not.

Just some thoughts.

I understand that.  Part of me just feels kind of bad/guilty: the man's dead, and I hear I am thinking about, not just my own thoughts, but things like, "What, that guy dated Kristy?  WTF?!?  How did HE get a girl like that?"  Just seems really damn petty I'm even contemplating that. 

I mean, I said earlier we weren't really friends, but, to be honest, in Junior High I found the guy to be a bit of an insufferable known it all.     

Anyway, I'm rambling.. trying to sort through my feelings.

Thanks for your thoughts.

One of my best friends committed suicide on Christmas about 23 years ago.  A lot of time has passed since then, but there are still many unanswered questions about why he did it.  Tragic.  Just try not to dwell on things like this too much.  Keep on living!

You have my sympathy comdadre.

As everyone else has said: "I am sorry to hear that." As I think I have posted earlier, when I went back for my 40th high school reunion--yes, it has been that long--there was a memorial to our classmates who were no longer with us. And two of them I knew real well, while I was in high school. I never heard how any of them had died, except for one girl who apparently drank herself to death, which should not be much of a surprise, as she apparently had a drinking problem even back in high school. Yes, death sucks.