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2 weeks ago. My son beat me up. I could have told the cops he hit me first. I didnt. He beat me up.

Now I face jail.

Dammit. I dont want to live like this...God help me. I cry every day. DAMMIT. PLEASE GOD HELP ME.

 :buggedout: :bluesad: Wow, that's tough and so very sad. I think there are some people who know the legal system well on here so maybe they might be able to help you or give you some advice...I do hope you can get some help to deal with the tough family/abuse issues you're going through...you deserve a much better life than this.

This may seem a little harsh, Ronnie (harsh for the way I usually speak to you):


I do wonder what happened here. Your son beating you up has all kinds of parameters around as to what happened.

Perhaps an argument ensued, he got mad, struck you and the two of you got into a fight.

I don't know why you are facing jail time. Perhaps he is under 18, or perhaps you are on probation and it's a violation of your probation.

These are questions in my head, and of course you can answer those for us.

What I want to say however, and of course this is an assumption of circumstances as I do not know what transpired, is that taking a fall for someone has no lesson to it.

What does he learn by you being punished for his actions?

We're all familiar with the rat maze. A rat runs through the maze, and learns their way to a destination by a small but painful shock for each wrong choice. If we put two rats in that maze, one always running ahead of the other, and that one ahead always taking the punishments for the wrong choices, allowing the other one to make it through without any punishment, then when it's time for that second rat to run that maze on its own, and probably with greater punishments ahead, it won't find its way because the lead rat is not there to take the punishment.

I know you've raised kids, and like parents in general you've made good and bad decisions. I really don't know what this decision is to you; why you've made it. You may well have a good reason for making a decision to take a fall for your son. Does that reason, though, justify him not learning from this?

Just questions. I don't know if in this situation if someone can have an answer, even with all the information.

Legally? Possibly.

Responsibly? I don't know.

Just talk to us, Ronnie. Talk to someone.

Wish I could say more but am not good in such situations.  You deserve better RC and seem to have a good head on your shoulders.  Hoping things can pull through and an answer can be found to help you avoid that end.  I hope another board member has more practical advice. 

Sensible questions, Menard.   :bluesad: 

Ron, what happened?  Talk to us when you've sobered up.  It's always the booze. 

I assume I'll go to jail. I may not. I always assume the worst...I go to pretrial August 9.
I just dont have a lot of faith in the justice system.
I been railroaded by these f**king podunk cops in this town so many times.
They hate me.
Long hair-This town is small-the cops make Archie Bunker look like a hippie.

I went to jail inaitally. Spent 2 days there 2 weeks ago. Cost me $250 to get out.
Part of my rent money! dammit.
The kids a brat-my other son called the cops=but I refused to talk-so they took me to jail.
I was covered in blood-he busted my nose-f**kin pigs-they hate me.

RC, I can't give legal advice on criminal matters in Michigan.  I assume you can't afford a lawyer?  Do you have a public defender?  Do you trust him/her?  They will try to keep you out of jail.

Truth is always the best way.

I never lie. I just dont want to get my kid busted.
Ill take a fall.

Why? Is being hit your fault? Really, what happened?

Staying silent is not always the same as lying.  It's your decision, obviously.  But Menard makes a good point that it might not be the best thing for your son.  And it's not the best thing for your community to punish the wrong guy. 

My advice is tell your public defender the absolute truth.  You can still plead no contest to the charges if you decide to, they can't make you plead not guilty or implicate your son.  But you need the assistance of a professional if you want the best outcome possible, and he or she needs your absolute cooperation.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you, RC.

Tough love is the only way kids learn, especially if it escalates to your situation where your kid beats you up.  Being noble and taking a fall for him won't magically make him him see the light and realise what he did was wrong.

Let him be responsible for his own actions and you'll be doing the best thing for him as a parent.  Sometimes a good scare (ie, going to jail) works wonders for the attitude.

Remember, we love you here.  Good luck :thumbup:

Ronnie my friend, you know that all of us wish the best for you.
But, from where I sit, I don't think you are helping your son by taking the fall for him.  What are you teaching him?  That he can raise his hand to his own dad and not have any consequences?

It's not my place to tell you what to do.  But think hard on this before you take the fall for him. What kind of man do you want your son to become?

I think you're not doing your self or your son any favors by taking the fall for what he did, but it's not my place to telly ou how to raise your son.

But I do wish you the best at your upcoming court date. Just tell your public defender what happened and you should be ok. We're rooting for you buddy!

sounds like a difficult situation, I hope you manage to fix it somehow and good luck

Sorry about your plight... I wish you well.

One thought as one Dad to another... what lesson is your kid going to learn if you take the fall for them? Sometimes tough love is the best love... and while we never want to see our kids in trouble or hurt we must ask the question are we really protecting them or are we hurting them by denying them the consequences of their actions??

IT might be a valuable lesson that will be a wake up call and change the direction of his life.

Just a thought... take it or leave. What ever your choice I wish the best for you and your children.

As usual, your combination of beauty and brains sees another great post, and I raise my glass to you  :cheers:

As one who came from the wrong side of the tracks as a younger man, (but nowhere near as bad as some of those around me back in that day) I agree that you need to learn a good hard lesson sometimes, no matter how much pain or remorse it instills in your being.

But, as is the way of things there are those who don't care no matter what they've done, and it makes you wonder how some people live with themselves...

RC,
 You are my friend but I MUST agree with Indy, again.
1) if you want your son to be a good man, he has tolearn how to beone himself.  You covering him like this will not help him learn.  I'm sorry, being a good dad means that kids have to fall sometimes.  Those that are caught and covered for never turn out well.  Your intention is noble, but it won't help him be a better man.

2) Don't be a victim anytime, bro.  Use your public defender, and I gotta say, maybe the drink has gotten ahead of you.  Don't be a victim to that either. 


Hang in there.  Stand tall.  You have people.
-Ed

Can't they guess what happened seeing the physical evidence? If you're the one who's hurt, I reckon it should be obvious? Unless you fought back and the both of you are wounded. And out of what you say can we assume that your son is lieing? I think that's an even bigger reason to tell the truth.

Eddie wasn't hurt.
We talked about it...when I go to the pretrail confrence,he' said he's going to man up.

Thanks for all the advice,guys!  :thumbup:

Best of luck to you.  This sounds like a tough situation.