Badmovies.org Forum

Any basic type things you never learned how to do?  For instance I never learned my times tables.  Never learned how to whistle by sticking two fingers in my mouth. 

How 'bout you?

1) the two fingered whistle is way beyond me. I can't even figure out the mechanism.
2) how to tie a tie. I wear one maybe once a year and never remember.
3) How to cook rice.  1:3 times it fails.

I can't whistle.  At all.  I've never even been able to figure out how it's supposed to work.

I can't spit, can't even build up enough saliva to spit.

I can't climb.  No, you don't understand, I can't climb.  I have never seen anyone worse than me at climbing.  I can climb stairs and (if I'm lucky) ladders and that's about it.  If I come upon an obstacle that I can't step over or go around, my progress is thwarted.  My friends, even the ones as fat as me, would effortlessly climb rocks, fences, trees, and stuff while I simply couldn't.  It made running around in the woods not much fun.

I can't; whistle, skip, swim well or do math.

I never learned to be serious at solemn occasions. Even when I try, I mean really try, I get this almost manic need to start laughing, and when I start it gets crazy. That's happened at religious services, a funeral, a wedding, school graduation, when I was meeting a Senator, and while being questioned for jury duty. It's probably some sort of madness!

I can't burp on command. God knows I've tried as a kid countless times because all my friends could burp on command.

I do that as well! Whenever anybody tells me someone has died, I just burst out laughing.  :question:

I can't whistle with my finger either! I wish I could. It's one of those skills that I know relies on basic physiological principles, yet I just can't figure it out. It's one of those skill I admire on a weird, deep level. I would love to be able to belt out a loud, attention-getting whistle. That's something that can come in handy in some situations, you know.

I can't whistle either.  isn't strange that so many of us are whistling impaired? :question:

I also can't shuffle a deck of cards for the life of me!

The whole two finger whistle is a mystery to me too.  I respect those who can do it actually.

Lets see...for me...

I'm mechanically challenged, I have trouble changing a tire.

Writing neatly...matter of fact I find writing to be one of the most annoying things in the world.
 

I can't jump (on foot) or ride a wheelie on a bike or quad. My vertical jump is about a foot, I just don't have the body mechanics for it.


Not to derail the thread, but I have an uncle that recently retired after 40+ years of building and running his own business from the ground up. It grew into a very successful plastics manufacturing business that had several hundred employees and several shops. He's a workaholic and his off time was spent running a christmas tree farm he also owned (and still does). Anyway, he's now in his 70's and has picked up a new hobby: Tree climbing.

I can't balance a checkbook!  I've watched my wife do it many a time, and it seems like I should be able to, but I've never once managed it.

I can't whistle at all, nor can I snap, nor can I shuffle a deck o' cards, nor I can drive a stick.

balancing my check book and saviings book without using a calculator or a bank statement is next to impossible for me

also my handwriting is damn near illegible if that counts

I can't burp on purpose, either. If I really need to burp, I generally get a tickle at the back of my throat that sets off a coughing fit, at the end of which I'll belch and be fine. I also can't whistle with my fingers in my mouth, though I can whistle quite well the normal way. I never learned how to have a spontaneous casual conversation (small talk). If someone asks me something, I can answer well, and if a topic comes up that I don't find ridiculously stupid, I do okay, but when people try to engage me in idle chatter, I either say something totally idiotic (or don't say anything at all) or else I make a snarky comment that is only amusing to myself. I'm getting better, but I still hate it.

I used to have that problem. Then I spent a LOT of time living with roommates who had people over all the time and also got a job working with the public on a regular basis. The trick with small talk is to realize it is always pointless and usually about something meaningless and/or stupid. "Talk about the weather." I remember having a pretty long conversation with some guy at a party about the food that was on my plate, which is about as meaningless as you can get. Some people just need to talk to pass the time. Not me, I naturally seek silence and would prefer to be left alone. But I spent a solid decade being constantly surrounded by people, many of whom I didn't even really like. Now I'll yammer away with anybody about anything. Once I got over the initial hurdle of just talking, and realized it didn't mean anything it became a lot easier. It sounds like bad advice, but not caring about the conversation is really an excellent way to make small talk. I genuinely don't care, and I'll be damned but people seem to respond to that.

That said, I still prefer silence. Of course, if small talk is required with people I like, I do tend to find common ground. Everybody has intersecting interests. Food is a great equalizer. When in doubt, talk about food. Or movies.

As for basic skills, it still takes me several seconds to determine which side is left and which is right. I'm a little better now, but there are times when I have to put my left hand into the "L" shape to prove to myself that I'm right. I don't know what prevents me from immediately realizing it, some sort of ingrained mental block.

Put me in with the can't whistle crowd. Not even regular wistle. If I have a song in my head-I just sing it out load...which is annoying to some folks at work.
Is there a correlation with Bad movie geeks and the inability to whistle? Someone should do a usless goverment funded scentific study.

I can't swim. Unless I'm on my back...I can back stroke and dog paddle...but not regular breast stroke. I can stroke breasts,though-hehe...! 3

My spelling is atrocious. I'm far from illiterate-I read at least a book a week-if not more-And I read newspapers and magazines constantly-even at work on my break. But even though I have seen a particular word all my life-(like "probely" "probelaly" prob" ah f#ck it)- cant get it.
                                                                                                                                                                                             

I have learned much the same thing, but I still hate small talk. I work in a very customer-oriented position now (massage therapy), so I have to talk to a lot of people about a lot of things. Of course I hit it off with some clients and have very interesting conversations. With others, it's more of an "I really can't wait to get this over with" attitude. My big breakthrough began several years ago when I realized people are basically self-centered and don't really care what I or anyone else says or does. It sounds very negative, but it was also very freeing to me: I began losing my self-conscious behavior and doing more of what I wanted because I no longer felt that everyone was looking at me. That also applies to small talk: nobody really cares what is being said; it is the human equivalent of monkeys picking fleas off of their companions, a social action that makes people feel a bond with others.

And RC, I had an English professor in grad school that also couldn't spell to save his life, so you're not alone there.  :smile:

Sorry RC but that made me laugh  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

I can't whistle either, not in any way shape or form. I also can't blow bubbles with bubble gum.

I can't drive stick, I made myself sick the last time I tried to

I learned on a motorcycle, & got my driver's license through some bureaucratic loophole.
It wasn't until five years later, that I eventually learned to drive.

I just started a thread on motorbicycling.com to see about getting started on turning my bicycle into a moped.
At least one reader, possibly two, were appalled at the magnitude of my simplitude.

DRIVING
TYING A TIE
ALGEBRA
FINGER-WHISTLING
SKATING

I'm terrible at riding a bike.  Even when I started to ride fairly often as a kid I was never that great, and I never learned how to peddle while standing like everybody can do.

I did learn it and once knew it well but I can no longer remember how to do long division on paper.  I'm sure there are other mathematical skills I've lost over time but that one stands out to me.

I never learned how to ride a bike. They always scared me as a kid.