Badmovies.org Forum

I love off topic discussions.  Religion, politics, current events, philosophy - you name it, I love to bat it around.  And, frankly, I would rather bat them around with you guys than with anybody I know, cause y'all are awesome like that.
BUT, that's not what this board is about, and I have been a bit TOO off-topic of late.  I can't promise to reform completely - I'm too far gone for that - but, by way of atonement for my recent topical wanderings, I devote this thread to your most recent REALLY BAD movie viewings.  Don't put it here if it's good!  This is a thread for cheap, stupid, low budget, steaming shovels of cinematic poop!

And guess what - I've seen two this week!

First off, there was TRIPPIN'! (2011)

It was a low budget but fun stoner/horror/comedy flick.  Three couples take off for a cabin in the woods where a famous hunter and suspected psycho killer once lived, and a bunch of bad stuff happens to them.  But is the psycho killing them?  Are they dying of their own sheer stupidity?  Or is it a chain reaction of terrible accidents taking them out one by one?  Since the only survivor doesn't really REMEMBER all the details - he was ingesting WAY too many illegal chemicals at the time - he assures us in the opening clip that "This is SORTA what happened."  And we have bear traps, drugs, boobs, a seriously annhilated frog, car trouble, makeout scenes, a nail thru the back of the head, tanned and mounted human hides, and some major league suicides.  An excellent slice of low budget cheese, ripe, firm and full-bodied!

Then I watched HELL'S LABYRINTH last night.
A girl is driving through the lonely woods, running from her abusive ex, and has car trouble.  Creepy guy in truck offers to help, and when she turns him down, he bashes her in the head with a shovel.  She comes to inside a labyrinth with about 12 other people, and they are hunted down by demonic creatures that looks cheesier than some of the monsters in OBLIVION (the RPC game, not the movie).  People die, the gore is very faked, there's a random naked chick, more monsters, more people die, and  .  . . well, this one  is a stinker.  Video cheese, overripe, left out in the sun, with a touch of mold on it.

Tonight's video choice . . . SUPERSHARK!

Now, tell me what awfulness you've seen lately!

Sounds somewhat interesting.  Is it a bad bad movie or good bad movie? 

I got 2 "good" bad movies I watched recently as well as one of the worst things I've ever seen.

I caught The Adjustment Bureau (2011) a few weeks back and frankly I thought it was incredibly stupid and insulting to my intelligence. A complete waste of Matt Damon's talent in that.

1/5

Saw 3d or Saw: The Final Chapter (2010) it's known as both  

0/5 for giving away the ending of the movie literally during the opening credits  :hatred: :hatred: :hatred:

And late last month I conquered Uwe Boll's House of the Dead (2003).  There are random insertations of footage of the video game on which this movie is based. The acting is awful. There is extensive slow-motion fighting which looks awful. House of the Dead raises questions which never get answered throughout.

I constantly found myself saying "Wait, what?" while watching this.

By any standards it's one of the worst movies ever made, and not in a good Troll 2 sort of way.

0/5  :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:

I would say that HELL'S LABYRINTH falls into the "so bad it's kinda fun" category, but only barely.  TRIPPIN' was better in that regard - it never made the mistake of taking itself seriously.

SUPERSHARK was pure cheese through and through.  Never a word of explanation as to why the shark was bulletproof or why it could come on land.  And hey, it had John Schneider and J.J. Wilson in it!

This is a test...uh...right?

I can't tell from your ratings or reviews which are suppose to be "good" bad movies. :question:

Just a few quick reviews, more comments, about some movies I've seen over the past 2 or 3 months.

These are several disaster movies I'm writing short reviews about, as I got a 12 pack of made for SyFy Channel grade disaster movies, mostly, on DVD. It was pretty cheap, and for that price, I think it was like $7.50 at the time, I'm not complaining too loudly.


Nature Unleashed: Avalanche (2004) - An entertaining enough film, for me. It's a story we've seen before where the threat of avalanche is becoming more real due to some geological anomaly rearing its head just as a mountainside winter resort is about to open. Filled with CGI effects, it's still not that bad of effects, especially if you consider that the movie Avalanche (1978) used special effects for the Avalanche, and considering it was 1978, didn't look as good as these do. Even though this is predictable, I still found it enjoyable.


Nature Unleashed: Fire (2004) - A group of dirt bikers and a forest ranger are trying to get an injured dirt biker out of the forest as fires start breaking out, blocking their potential escape routes. It's a mix of disaster movie with stunt bike riding. The pace is better than the above mentioned Avalanche, the effects work well with a mix of CGI effects and actual fires on a small scale giving an effective representation of the bikers riding through fires. Tension is maintained almost from the start, and the characters kind of grow on you.


30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2007) - A navy rescue crew with a special device that can dynamically separate oxygen from water, therefore creating a bubble underwater in which people can breathe, is sent to perform a rescue operation on a submarine...that was attacked by a giant squid! Where there are submarines and giant squids...yes...Capt. Nemo must be close at hand. Ah, but Nemo is interested in their device, as he has plans for it.

This is essentially an extreme dramatic license on 20,000 Leagues, and not a sequel. And it only gets dumber from there...and the presence of Lorenzo Lamas does not change that.

It's a The Asylum produce movie, and even for them this is taking things to a new low...and I don't mean the ocean floor.

What is a literate person's worst nightmare, may be your, as a bad movie lover, dream come true. The story advances well enough, and there is a plot, but art direction went to hell, and things such as Capt. Nemo, who has sworn off the air breathers' world, pointing out on a map where they are located in the ocean, just a little to the left of the upc symbol on the map. :bouncegiggle:

Things get even worse from there with this huge submarine they are on made out of the finest, thickest steel that Pittsburgh can provide in some the finest warehouses they obviously used for sets. Forget about wondering how this thing could possible float....you might be laughing too hard to concentrate on that.

Like I said, this is a bad movie, even by The Asylum standards. It has an entertaining story, of sorts, interrupted by "oh geez" and "you've got to be kidding" moments. Enjoy!

supposedly good movies

I watched 1997's ABERRATION yesterday...New Zealand-lensed film about a woman who returns to her old family cabin, which turns out to be infested with rapidly-mutating lizards.  How rapidly-mutating? There's a scene where she tries to drown one in the fish tank and after a brief struggle, it just starts leisurely breathing water.  Then of course there's the reason she's at the cabin in the first place...she stole a bag of money from the Russian mafia and needs a place to hide out! Complete stinker, and the middle third of the film is nothing but jump scares -- the girl opens the closet and freaks out when she sees a coat hanger, opening fire into the closet, her goofy biologist friend panics and fires the shotgun eight times when a tree branch crashes through the window during a storm, etc. 

After that I checked out 2007's SOMETHING BENEATH...Kevin Sorbo is an environmentalist priest (!) attending an eco-conference at a newly constructed conference center/hotel.  A strange black slime is oozing through the pipes, and anyone who comes in contact with the slime starts hallucinating their worst fears until it in some way manages to kill them.  An obnoxious socialite hallucinates herself aging rapidly, attacks her mirror, broken glass slits her wrists, while the hotel manager's paranoia of his employees undermining his success ultimately gets him shot.  According to the wacky nerd archetype, the slime is intelligent, but it really doesn't show any signs of intelligence.  Neither does the movie. 

It's been a while, and it is not the most memorable movie, but weren't there some scenes with an annoying small dog that made it almost worthwhile?    :bouncegiggle:

I watched like a1/3 of a movie called vibrations starring Christina Applegate. I've been busy and haven't had time to watch movies and I certainly wasn't giong to use that time to watch this movie about a drummer who loses his hands then discovers rave culture.

The Castle of Fu Manchu has got to be one of the worst movies I ever saw, however, In the nine circles of Hell, I would put it in level 5, since it really didn't get my blood boiling or make me smack my head a lot.

Xanadu- The seventh level of Hell, since it made me smack my head, but not really enough to do damage.

Monster A Go go- Eighth level of Hell, Made me angry and feel stupid. yet it hasn't reached the ninth level, because there's a movie that did.

Batman Forever- No, no no! This is the worst thing I ever saw, bar none! Just...why? Why have Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face, Jim Carey didn't help as the Riddler and even as a kid, I hated it. :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:

Manos is in purgatory, since I can see what the director was going for, but had little to no money to film it. really can't hate that much.

Leonard Part 6- Level 4, I felt like it lowered my IQ level.

The Navy Vs. The Night Monsters- I had to put on my poker face just to watch it. First level of Hell.

Batman and Robin- Second level, since it is just stupid. didn't really lower my IQ level that much, not say Batman Forever.

Twilight- Seriously, why hate on it when It's made for girls? :question: I really don't see that hate, sure it has vampires, but vampires are a symbol of tragedy from a misfit of society, Twilight put a spin on it. The hate is way too exaggerated, and don't be hatin' on girls. If your going to hate Twilight because of the Vampire thing, then go look at Cirque du Freak, where there's two different types of vampires. The one that people mostly associate with are the Vampaneze and Vampires can be in the sun, but not for long. If your going to hate Twilight for the vampire s**t, then go look at Cirque du Freak.

The dog wasn't as memorable or annoying as the small dog's owner, the aforementioned socialite.  The main thing with them both is the dog goes running down the hall, and Sorbo suggests she gets dressed before she runs after it (she's falling out of a nightie).  She giggles, says something about, "You were looking at my ta-tas, weren't you?" and tries to seduce him.  He just arches an eyebrow and says, "Miss.  Your dog?" and she storms into her room in a huff, telling him "Your loss!"

I think that's the only time I've ever heard the phrase "ta-tas" in a movie.

This right here is a big part of the hate.  Whatever happened to vampires being monsters? 

people would see vampires as monsters in their early lives, but as Frankenstein Monster ran away, you can't get away from the fact that both of these monsters aren't really monsters, there just different.

I remember Aberration. I kind of liked it because I'm a sucker for a good killer reptile movie. Although this one could REALLY stretch the boundaries of disbelieve in how un-killable these foot-long iguanas could be. There's another scene where they try to light one on fire-and it can suddenly spray liquid to put it out. This means that.
A. The lizard understood that it could use a liquid to put out fire
B. Might have evolved that feature really quickly. Had they been shown earlier using this spitting ability to shoot venom then it would have at least be some what established. 

Its a good thing that Walter Matthau never became a director-because GANGSTER STORY(1959) is one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life.
It makes Ed Wood seem like a f**king genuis.
BAD.
Really bad.
Its insanley stupid.
And I like BAD movies-this one hurts..
Not inna fun way. Jesbus wept.
It is-without a doubt-one of the worst films I've ever seen.
The acting is BLOOD FREAK level.
But that was about a turkey head monster that drinks blood.

I will not stand for this besmirching of  the good name of Ed Wood - the man was a secret genius  :teddyr:

I agree. Wood was a "genuis without talent."
I love the man.

A few I recently talked about in the "Recent Viewings" thread that struck me as particularly painfully bad were:

Nobody Knows Anything! (2003): this is sort of a faltering attempt at making an arty comedy parody of the film industry and make a statement as to the process and how in reality no one in Hollywood film making really knows anything. Lots of cameos and bit parts from famous, successful stars (Ben Stiller appears as a celebrity cast peach expert, Mike Myers appears wearing terrible eye make-up) can't save this although there might be some out there who actually enjoy this style of comedy. To me, it just feels like some film school student's first film and not a particularly engrossing one at that.

Mr. Lonely (2007): Harmony Korine's film focused on the lives of celebrity lookalikes who decide to live together at a mountain retreat that just descends further and further into depressing fare and is in fact it seems to me more concerned with having the celebrity lookalikes doing unusual things together than any deeper meaning or message although it's also supposed to be about finding oneself, one's search for identity and a sense of belonging. The visuals though here are quite startling and the scenery is beautiful. And this is a downright weird story, especially the sidestory about flying nuns.

Unidentified (2006): preachy film that's supposed to be about UFO abduction and the theory these events may in fact be more demonic otherworldly instead of involving visitors from another planet but the focus soon shifts to pushing a Christian agenda that you must be saved or you'll be doomed to damnation even suggesting other religions are invalid at times. Actually I liked the general idea at work here and there's some surprisingly validity to some of the claims here but well I'd like to actually see some UFO and aliens/demons or whatever instead of just hearing constantly theories put forth from some pushy Christian know-it-all.

These are not films for everyone clearly although I could see perhaps Lester and Rev. Powell perhaps watching the first two (personally I found them particularly hard to get through so be warned guys).

OCTAMAN
OMG, this was a crappy movie!
And I taped from THIS TV (with all the Sanford Brown, cancer, asbestos commercials in tact).
It was a rough go...

I saw Aberration during the brief period of time I was attempting to watch every horror movie at the local Blockbuster in alphabetical order. I don't recall it being terrible. In fact, I barely recall it at all.

I recently watched Brain Dead (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0914799/), not the Peter Jackson film or the '90s cult classic. It was pretty bad, but it did have two good points. One, it didn't shy away from gratuitous nudity (and one of the actresses was a "natural"). Two, it made great use of "head gags." That's right, most of the movie was noggins being ripped in two or being shot through with a shotgun.

Not great stuff, unless all you're looking for is nudity and gore, then it was "okay."

It's Alive!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtFZru0uFcY

I wish it wasn't....

The Beast With a Million Eyes!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qa5kBjmxh4

I've been curious about this movie for some time; it finally came on TV.  I's not as bad as It's Alive, but only because it's shorter, and because you can laugh at the poorly executed animal attacks.

Funny you should mention this. The DOGGIEWOGGIEZ! POOCHIEOOCHIES! DVD from "Everything is Terrible" that I saw last night (see "Recent Viewings") had a bunch of 2-minute edits of bad movies included as extras, and this was one of them. It's kind of fun when compressed into 2 minutes but I don't think I'd want to watch the whole thing! (You could probably find the re-edit on YouTube).

The most interesting of the lot looked to be REVENGE OF THE RED BARON, a "Chucky" inspired Roger Corman produced movie about the ghost of the Red Baron who possesses a remote controlled airplane and comes back to torment Mikey Rooney (!) That one might be worth watching all the way though.

I love this movie, haha.

Last night I returned from a depressing hospital visit with my Dad ready to escape into a really atrocious movie.
EYES OF THE WOODS (2009) seemed to fit the bill.
This was an interesting movie, with potential to be brilliant, but ended disappointingly.
A small community of Puritans, living in the American wilderness in 1547 (which is odd because the Puritan
movement did not exist in 1547, and the first Puritans did not come to America till 1620) are struck by a
serious epidemic which carries away Christopher Wicker's daughter.  Enraged and maddened by his loss,
he curses God and sells his soul to the Devil, who transforms him into a hideous flesh-eating monster. In
a short time, he kills and devours every member of the Puritan community there (the scene in which he ambushes
and kills the posse searching for him is INCREDIBLY gory!  He also has the courtesy to rip open the dress of his
main female victime, so you get to see dying Puritan boobie for a minute.)
   Transfer to modern day.  A group of typical teenage monster bait in a big van are taking a short cut through
the wilderness after running into the obligatory scary gas station attendant.  Their van stops dead, they get out
and hike a mile in the dark to find a place to camp (why??).  Next morning one of their number is gone, and the
van cannot be found.  The rest of the movie, they wander through the woods and get eaten one by one until only
two are left.

OK, this movie had some positives.  The gore effects are excellent for such a poor budget, and the monster costume is very well done.  No CGI here!  But the characters are obnoxious and the plot is so full of holes and contradictions as to be very confusing.  Some things are never explained - who is the random, topless, blood-covered blonde they find wandering in the hills  Where did their van go?  How did the Puritans beat the crowd to America by nearly a full century?  All in all, this one is watchable but confusing.  Could have been so much better. :bluesad:

I just bad a double bill of crocodile and crocodile 2 : Death Roll both of these were terrible movies. I laughed all the way through them though. The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen, particularly part 2. There is a guy with the worst british accent. I recommend you watch them.

Compared to giant croc/shark flicks made by The Asylum or SyFy I must say Tobe Hooper's Crocodile is actually a decent little B-Movie. It's goofy, charming, fun, cheesy and bloody with a likeable cast. Hooper even throws in one of his trademark "intense moment" scenes.

Never seen Crocodile 2 though.

OK, my Sunday night double feature this week was 7 BELOW and THE INNKEEPERS.

INNKEEPERS was a very slow moving ghost story about two employees of an old hotel that was about to go out of business.  They were hoping to catch some proof that the hotel was, in fact, haunted before it shut down; the young girl character was likable and sweet, while the grizzled, cynical college drop out was a bit of a jerk.  There were three last tenants too: a woman fleeing a bad marriage with her young son, an ex-actress turned psychic healer, and a strange old man who insisted on staying in a particular room, even though it has already been stripped of all furnishings.  This movie tried hard to be thoughtful and spooky, but simply turned out to be boring and hard to follow.  Too much never was explained; you didn't understand what the ghosts wanted or why they focused on this one girl.

7 BELOW begins about 100 years ago, when a young boy murdered his adopted family in an old Southern mansion.  Now a group of folks in a minivan have a wreck and are stranded in the same mansion, with a strange old black caretaker who knows too much, during a terrible storm that keeps them from leaving.  Agan this tried hard to be a good movie but was just a bit too jumbled and hard to make sense of.

Both are worth seeing if you don't go in with high expectations.

Now, for tomorrow night, I have a real gem from The Asylum - NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE  EARTH!!!

Hmm..
My brother seems to like John Carpenter movies so he bought Prince Of Darkness from a used DVD store.  Terrible, terrible, terrible.  Only Ghosts Of Mars is close to this as far as Carpenter's worst.

Wow, I loved Prince of Darkness.  For me it's one of his best. 

The director explained at Frightfest last year -

It's never established that it's haunted. The director left that detail for each viewer's interpretation. It's stated early on the phenomena might be the protagonist's imagination.

Giving the ghosts motives would determine the place is haunted; the filmmaker wanted the question "is the place haunted" to be something the audience could decide for themselves


Except that many horror fans watched "The Innkeepers" with high expectations, amongst whom many were satisfied

I really enjoyed that one too. It has some problems but I didn't think it was too bad at all.

To each their own of course; I thought POD was a POS.  Pleasance is always fun as a fairly unhinged protagonist though.  But many of the other performances were fairly dull, and the Wang guy from Big Trouble In Little China was REALLY annoying here.  Also, I thought the puking of Satan into other people's mouths should've been beneath Carpenter.

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things was a movie that became a running gag with my friends for a while.  It was basically the movie that I used to threaten them with. 

Here's the plot in a nut shell.  An annoying theater group (led by a guy that deserved to be punched in the face every time he opened his mouth) got to an island, dig up a corpse, play around with it, and then in the last ten minutes of the movie zombies show up and kill everyone.  The end. 

It is a horrible horrible movie, but it does have a great title and some crazy 70s fashions if you're into that stuff.

I just watched 2010's THE LOST TRIBE.  Not only is it a remake of 2009's THE FORGOTTEN ONES (and written/produced by a guy who acted in THE FORGOTTEN ONES, and the credits for THE LOST TRIBE thank the writer/director of THE FORGOTTEN ONES), but it's just a wretchedly bad rip-off of PREDATOR with a ghastly DA VINCI CODE subplot thrown in, in which Lance Henriksen is an assassin working for the Vatican murdering scientists on an uncharted island in order to conceal any evidence that human beings evolved instead of being a special creation. 

How wretchedly bad a rip-off of Predator? The leader of this tribe of "missing links" has dreadlocks and wears a mask made out of a sabretooth tiger skull, which he dramatically removes right before his final conflict with the heroine, who has discovered that smearing mud on her skin prevents the missing links' heat-vision from detecting her. 

Lance Henriksen, why would you hurt me like this?

     THIS Network showed this the other day....

(http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o316/Ty1986/octamanvideogemsvhsfront2.jpg)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7j6xhFdDxDI

     One of my cousins wouldn't speak to me for two weeks after I showed him  this flick....it's SO bad. In the scene shown here, the hero tells his partner to light the ring of fire so it will "burn up all the oxygen, and smother it!" They're OUTSIDE! Where did this lox go to school? Also, they left the girl inside the ring, so the hero had to jump through the flames to get her (why couldn't the monster?), and after it passes out, they throw a net over it, and leave it outside....where the rain revives it.

     I'm not even going to try to describe this, also shown onTHIS Network....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7kf-nV_E5Y

Respectetively yet strongly disagree. I loved this one! Sure it's 90% talk, but when the zombie action kicks in in the end it totally redeems itself. The prick movie director played by Alan Ormsby was such an a***ole that you just know he's gonna get what he deserves. And yes I do dig the awful 70s fasion. Again, LOVED it!  :smile:

Revenge of the Cheerleaders (1975)- David Hasselhoff's debut, I think. No plot, almost a soft core porn flick with a few high school pranks thrown in. The girls get naked constantly for no logical reason. I'm talking full frontal. I can't complain, they were hot girls for back then. There's a couple of really bad dance sequences that are really funny. It's a sequel to a movie called The Cheerleaders, which I haven't seen.

66 crush-I 'm a huge fan of both that movie and The Cheerleaders. there is a third one that isn't that great.

I was just thinking of Sado Master. It was at one point the lowest rated movie on netflix instant. It's from South America and the subtitles drop out all the time. The acting is ridiculous, it's only like an hour long but it still drags.

(http://www.cinecievyc.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/sado_master_poster.jpg)

from '05

And here i thought that was a ball-sack hanging down! :buggedout:

I think "Prince of Darkness" is OK. It reminds me of some of the later Hammer films, when they were trying to cash in on "The Exorcist." I feel like the idea was probably conceived a decade earlier. I think John Carpenter just loved Donald Pleasence so much that he came up with a film that would center around him. I have to agree about "Ghost of Mars." It's John's worst film, though "Vampires" isn't far behind.

I think I've mentioned this one before but here goes:
Lurkers (1988)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1EhlMKDWVI
HORRIBLE.  :hatred: