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I have a dream. I wish you could all understand italian just to cry laughin' at Asia Argento's acting. She was probably drunk in the dubbing room. But to tell the truth, who listens to her when most of the time she's naked ? (there must be something morbid in her father's obsession in filming her in the buff). Anyway, this movie is not a disaster like Giallo or La Terza Madre (the 3D is good and the photography and the colours are very effective, and there's lots of t&a) but after the promising first 15 minutes it sinks under god-awful CGI (think about Seduction Video movies, then step down to a Commodore 64-like quality), terrible acting (Rutger Hauer looks like he stumbled on the set by chance and he's asking where the exit is, the guy playing Harker looks like a 90s porn refugee) and a pace so slow that even a statue could not bear. I woke up when the Giant Mantis appeared. Really, Dracula as a mantis is a touch of genius. Probably.
There's one scene where all the theatre came down laughing: the gorgeous (and naked) bride of Dracula is suckin' blood from Harker when the Count claims the boy for him screamin' "He's mineeeeeeee!" like a queer and throwin away the girl in an accelerate bad CGI effect recalling a drag-and-drop of an icon on the desktop.
Another nail on Argento's coffin, unfortunately.

I suspected as much from the trailer...

Argento's 70s and some of his 80s work pretty much gives him free reign to do as much rubbish as he likes, plus he's probably as old as Dracula now so we can let him off.

Nothing could be worse than The Card Player though..

Have you seen Mother of Tears and her punk witches ?  :bluesad:

nah... not seen his Phantom Of The Opera either, which is supposed to be abysmal. I dn't really want to see them tbh. I was kind of forced into watching the card player by a friend...that was bad enough!

Oh man I do own a copy of Phantom of the Opera and saw it a couple months ago. The only thing I remember with any detail is the rat catchers creating a mini car drived by a midget designed to kill the rats that live under the opera (these rats also raised the phantom himself!). It's not a good sign when you completely forget a movie that you saw not that long ago but for some reason describing the midget driven rat vehicle makes me want to watch it again! It's pretty awful tho from what little I remember.

Dracula 3d had a completely awful trailer and I have no hope for it being good. The saddest thing about later Argento is how often unappealing the visual aspect is. His camera movement and incredible sense of color is to me what made him a legendary director. The plots and dialogue have always been pretty much crap but the visual splendor made some of those bad plots into masterpieces of the genre (Suspira, Tenebre and others). To see him shoot these low budget aesthetically bad films is truly sad. I hope the full experience of Drac 3d is better than the trailers but from this review and others I highly doubt it.

yep, and another bad part is the way he actually talks himself up in interviews... refers to himself The Master (or something like that) and isn't slow to credit himself with pretty much inventing various genre techniques. back then maybe but not now

ya time is not kind to horror directors look at Carpenter, Craven, Fulci, Hooper, Romero all putting out mostly crap late in their career. It seems the most successful "horror directors" are the ones that made their horror movies early on and then switched genres later in life I'm thinking Cronenburg, Peter Jackson, Sam Raimi (although his new oz movie looks atrocious), and others. 

Phantom of the Opera is comedy gold!   :teddyr:

It might help that I never thought Dario Argento was any good in the first place.