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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Trevor on January 21, 2013, 06:27:46 AM



Title: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Trevor on January 21, 2013, 06:27:46 AM
For me, it's Alien Predator aka The Falling: all I can say is YIKES.  :buggedout: :buggedout: :wink:


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: retrorussell on January 22, 2013, 02:54:27 PM
ALEN: RESURRECTION.  I actually paid money at the theater for this, good God it's awful!
I had heard no scathing reviews about MIDNIGHT, which I fortunately did NOT see at the theater.  I do, however, regret the money spent for a rental.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: ChaosTheory on January 22, 2013, 09:42:36 PM
OASIS OF THE ZOMBIES - I'm still baffled as to how a movie could wreck a good premise so badly.
R.O.T.O.R. - seriously, whut the whut?
UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION - I was in no way prepared for that degree of awesome from a straight-to-video sequel  :teddyr:


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: The Burgomaster on January 24, 2013, 11:09:21 AM
A FORCE OF ONE.  I'll never forget the saturation advertising campaign they had on TV.  One of our local independent TV stations played the TV teasers at least 6 times an hour (and I'm not kidding).  One of my friends from school told me it was "awesome" and he had already seen it 2 or 3 times.  So, off I went to the drive-in with my parents and sisters to see it as part of a double feature with THE OCTAGON (which looked like a classic compared to A FORCE OF ONE).  Yeeesh.

Here is one of the teasers they used to show on TV:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgLPlSL62ZA





Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: voltron on January 24, 2013, 07:51:34 PM
Oh that's easy. Scream (1981), no question. The less said about that pile of poop the better.  :hatred:


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: tracy on January 26, 2013, 12:57:24 PM
"Going Ape" with Tony Danza....one of the worst movies ever commited to film. I'm convinced that I lost IQ points with that piece of garbage.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Mofo Rising on January 27, 2013, 06:10:46 AM
Well, I don't know. There's a lot to be said for experiencing the worst movies ever made completely unprepared.

I remember it very clearly that I held a party where we were all going to watch stupid movies. I remember having a copy of The Wrong Guys handy. If you had HBO as a kid in the '80s, you watched it. Louie Anderson, Cub Scouts, you get the idea. We started watching this movie and unanimously decided that is was awful and shouldn't continue.

It's replacement was Slapstick (Of Another Kind).

Let me link that: Slapstick (Of Another Kind) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slapstick_of_Another_Kind)

I am not exaggerating in the slightest, Slapstick is the worst movie I have ever seen. If you think it would be fun to make your friends watch a terrible movie, you have not seen Slapstick. I'm lucky they did not murder me.

Terrible movie night never happened again.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Bushma on January 27, 2013, 12:07:00 PM
Paranormal Activity

Yet another film based on "found footage" where nothing happens for 95% of the film. I watched this in theaters and was insanely bored. I actually like Asylum's "Paranormal Entity" better!


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: claws on January 27, 2013, 01:41:44 PM
Fiend (1980). It was the early 80s and my mom and me pretty much rented anything at the video store that looked like a horror film. I believe Fiend was one of our first really bad movie rentals. It sucked so hard we both still complained about the movie weeks after.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: JPickettIII on January 28, 2013, 09:51:36 PM
OASIS OF THE ZOMBIES - I'm still baffled as to how a movie could wreck a good premise so badly.
R.O.T.O.R. - seriously, whut the whut?
UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION - I was in no way prepared for that degree of awesome from a straightforward sequel  :teddyr:

These movies I personally enjoyed.  Especially R.O.T.O.R.  Universal Soldier: Regeneration was a little bad.  I would recommend any of these  :cheers:.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Archivist on January 29, 2013, 02:32:41 AM
The Butterfly Effect (2004) - the last time I have ever paid retail for a DVD.  What a depressing and utterly pointless waste of a time travel movie.  Ugh.

Live By The Fist - ultra low budget kickboxing-in-foreign-prison movie with Jerry Trimble.  No wonder it was in the bottom of the bargain bin at the local DVD shop.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: voltron on February 07, 2013, 07:24:00 PM
Black Christmas (2006)


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: akiratubo on February 08, 2013, 08:28:33 PM
Eaten Alive (1977)

I remember seeing the box for this movie at many stores during the VHS era.  I was always curious about it but never rented it.  Even the internet was mostly mum about this movie except to say that it had the same director as The Texas Chain Saw Massacre but wasn't as good.

That is an understatement.  The movie is nothing but a red-tinted headache that seems to be trying to poke fun at someone's idea of redneck stereotypes.  The script trots out Kmart Kowboys, insane old racist men, domestic violence, hookers, drug use, and cruelty to animals and children.  With all that going for it, it STILL can't make any sort of impact, except maybe an impact on your patience.  Tobe Hooper's direction is on the level of "point the camera that way".  Neville Brand, as the villain, clearly wishes he were anywhere (maybe even dead) but in the movie.  Robert Englund makes an appearance.  He tries, bless him, so I'd be tempted to call him the one bright spot in the movie ... if he didn't completely suck.  This is, bar none, the worst performance of his career.  I'm actually surprised he was ever allowed to be in another movie after this.  (Incidentally, Robert's first line of dialogue was stolen by Quentin Tarantino for use in Kill Bill, which makes me hate Eaten Alive even more for inspiring Tarantino in even the slightest way to make that godawful pile of crap.)

The only good thing about Eaten Alive is that it comes from a time when filmmakers knew how to make true sleaze.  It freaking starts with a closeup on a guy unbuttoning his belt and unzipping his pants while telling a crying hooker about how he's going to butt-rape her, for crying out loud!  And all of it is played completely straight with no sort of craft or artistry at all.  It's like someone just happened to have a camera rolling in a brothel while this was going down.  Anyway, that's the first five minutes.  You can safely quit watching after that, as the movie has already shown you the best it has.

I needed some Advil and a stiff drink after this one.  DEFINITELY a movie I wish someone had warned me about.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: retrorussell on February 09, 2013, 08:14:34 PM
For fans of eccentric performances there is definitely something to enjoy in EATEN ALIVE.  Neville Brand and the husband of Marilyn Burns' character are especially nutty.  Otherwise, yeah; it's no great shakes other than a couple good gore scenes.  I remember it was my first ever dvd rental.













Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Umaril Has Returned on February 10, 2013, 05:06:11 PM
Fiend (1980). It was the early 80s and my mom and me pretty much rented anything at the video store that looked like a horror film. I believe Fiend was one of our first really bad movie rentals. It sucked so hard we both still complained about the movie weeks after.

I thought so too, even after reading all that great stuff about it in Famous Monsters magazine. While speaking of bad movies, another film that would have been a great double bill with Fiend would have been The Alien Factor which was just as bad or worse as Fiend. And like the other one, it too was featured on the cover of Famous Monsters!


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Ash on February 10, 2013, 05:28:44 PM
Gothika

I couldn't get the color blue out of my vision or mind for hours after that wretched film.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: bob on February 10, 2013, 06:44:26 PM
 Die Another Day (2002)  :hatred: :hatred: :hatred:

-50/5


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: JaseSF on February 11, 2013, 07:07:26 PM
Unidentified (2006)
Step Brothers (2008)
The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2006)
Mr. Lonely (2007)
Nobody Knows Anything! (2003)
The Waterboy (1998)
National Lampoon's Senior Trip (1995)

I really wish I had never seen any of these...


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: ulthar on February 11, 2013, 11:02:26 PM
ONLY WHEN I LAUGH

Man, I hated this movie. My girlfriend in high school drug me to see it. It had the distiction of being the first R rated movie she saw with her parents' implicit blessing.

It was bad enough for me that it singlehandedly turned me off drama as a genre for DECADES.



Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Pacman000 on February 12, 2013, 07:40:14 PM
Baby, Secret of The Lost Legend

Someone should have told me that the natives don't wear tops.  At the very least the box shouldn't have looked like a kid's movie.  :buggedout:


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Bushma on February 12, 2013, 11:10:02 PM
Baby, Secret of The Lost Legend

Someone should have told me that the natives don't wear tops.  At the very least the box shouldn't have looked like a kid's movie.  :buggedout:

I haven't seen that movie since I was a kid. I loved that movie growing up!  I wonder what I'd think of it now.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: akiratubo on February 12, 2013, 11:47:47 PM
Baby, Secret of The Lost Legend

Someone should have told me that the natives don't wear tops.  At the very least the box shouldn't have looked like a kid's movie.  :buggedout:

Don't forget the beautiful, majestic brontosaurus father being brutally gunned down and dying a horrible death, the African terror-warlord, the momma brontosaurus stomping people into mush, and people being thrown out of a helicopter to their deaths.  You know, for kids.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Paquita on February 24, 2013, 12:56:28 PM
I wish Netflix would warn you when you have a Redemption movie.  It's not that I mind a 20 minute introduction from naked vampire floozies huffing and puffing in slow motion, I would just like to be prepared.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: SynapticBoomstick on February 27, 2013, 10:40:39 AM
Hellgate, a 90-minute long brain fart with absent-minded characters and where ultimately nothing is accomplished.

IMDB plotted it at a [2.7]. A waste of an October evening.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: RCMerchant on March 01, 2013, 09:06:33 AM
Eaten Alive (1977)

I remember seeing the box for this movie at many stores during the VHS era.  I was always curious about it but never rented it.  Even the internet was mostly mum about this movie except to say that it had the same director as The Texas Chain Saw Massacre but wasn't as good.

That is an understatement.  The movie is nothing but a red-tinted headache that seems to be trying to poke fun at someone's idea of redneck stereotypes.  The script trots out Kmart Kowboys, insane old racist men, domestic violence, hookers, drug use, and cruelty to animals and children.  With all that going for it, it STILL can't make any sort of impact, except maybe an impact on your patience.  Tobe Hooper's direction is on the level of "point the camera that way".  Neville Brand, as the villain, clearly wishes he were anywhere (maybe even dead) but in the movie.  Robert Englund makes an appearance.  He tries, bless him, so I'd be tempted to call him the one bright spot in the movie ... if he didn't completely suck.  This is, bar none, the worst performance of his career.  I'm actually surprised he was ever allowed to be in another movie after this.  (Incidentally, Robert's first line of dialogue was stolen by Quentin Tarantino for use in Kill Bill, which makes me hate Eaten Alive even more for inspiring Tarantino in even the slightest way to make that godawful pile of crap.)

The only good thing about Eaten Alive is that it comes from a time when filmmakers knew how to make true sleaze.  It freaking starts with a closeup on a guy unbuttoning his belt and unzipping his pants while telling a crying hooker about how he's going to butt-rape her, for crying out loud!  And all of it is played completely straight with no sort of craft or artistry at all.  It's like someone just happened to have a camera rolling in a brothel while this was going down.  Anyway, that's the first five minutes.  You can safely quit watching after that, as the movie has already shown you the best it has.

I needed some Advil and a stiff drink after this one.  DEFINITELY a movie I wish someone had warned me about.

Gotta disagree! There are no likable charecters in EATEN ALIVE...and thats why I like it! It seems like everyone in this film is depraved or need to die-THATS why I like it! Neville Brandt is great! And Robert Englund does a pre-Freddy Kruger perv! Love it!
  For me,its TRANSFORMERS.Ugh! Oh-and 2012! What a piece of s**t! To be a fun BAD movie...its gotta a least be enjoyable. Multi-million dollar blockbusters that insult my intelligance dont pass muster.Gimme a guy in a rubber monster suit smashing cardboard buildings anyday!


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Trevor on March 04, 2013, 02:36:32 AM
Why, oh why didn't you special peeps warn me about Boa vs Python?  :buggedout:


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: claws on March 04, 2013, 02:51:51 AM
Fiend (1980). It was the early 80s and my mom and me pretty much rented anything at the video store that looked like a horror film. I believe Fiend was one of our first really bad movie rentals. It sucked so hard we both still complained about the movie weeks after.

I thought so too, even after reading all that great stuff about it in Famous Monsters magazine. While speaking of bad movies, another film that would have been a great double bill with Fiend would have been The Alien Factor which was just as bad or worse as Fiend. And like the other one, it too was featured on the cover of Famous Monsters!

As a young kid back in the day I haven't had appreciation for bad movies yet, I only wanted to see the "good stuff". As a result of the Fiend fiasco we avoided Prism Video (the company that released Fiend)  releases for some time thinking they only put out crap  :teddyr:


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Ted C on March 04, 2013, 10:50:34 AM
Why, oh why didn't you special peeps warn me about Boa vs Python?  :buggedout:

Isn't that a Syfy original? Isn't that a warning in itself?


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Trevor on March 06, 2013, 03:19:59 AM
Why, oh why didn't you special peeps warn me about Boa vs Python?  :buggedout:

Isn't that a Syfy original? Isn't that a warning in itself?

I guess I missed that warning, didn't I? *Slaps self*  :buggedout: :teddyr:


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: Ted C on March 06, 2013, 10:09:23 AM
I actually was warned about Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I wish I had listened.


Title: Re: Movies you wish people had warned you about first
Post by: spongekryst on March 08, 2013, 07:53:26 AM
Why, oh why didn't you special peeps warn me about Boa vs Python?  :buggedout:

Because it's awesome.  :teddyr: