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Title: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: sprite75 on June 26, 2013, 09:16:32 PM A Wisconsin man pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge after having been caught getting it on with a discarded love seat (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex/couch-sex-guilty-plea-657302);
Quote According to a criminal complaint sworn by a Waukesha City Police Department officer, Streator’s 11 PM furniture tryst was interrupted by an off-duty cop out jogging. Officer Ryan Edwards reported spotting “a subject leaning over the couch facing down and it looked like he was having sexual relations with someone on the couch.” Edwards added that he “could see the male’s hips thrusting up and down on the couch.” When Edwards approached and yelled, “What are you doing?,” Streator dismounted the love seat and ran away. As the suspect fled, Edwards reported, he “could see that the defendant’s penis was erect.” The officer concluded that Streator--who was alone--“had been thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.” Streator’s guilty plea came two months after a Circuit Court judge ruled that he was competent to stand trial, a decision that followed the jurist’s receipt of a court-ordered psychologist’s report. Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: indianasmith on June 26, 2013, 10:11:12 PM So instead of a couch potato, he was a couch cucumber?
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Mofo Rising on June 27, 2013, 01:59:33 AM It's sad to me that in this day and age a man is still abrogated of his right to express his full love towards what is probably the most intimate piece of furniture. It's still not widely talked about, but a man's relationship with his couch should be inviolate. I've spent many a night in my couch's loving embrace...
Oh, wait. He diddled his couch in public? Sorry, guy, you're screwed. And not in the good way. Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Derf on June 27, 2013, 04:09:19 AM Quote Streator’s guilty plea came two months after a Circuit Court judge ruled that he was competent to stand trial, a decision that followed the jurist’s receipt of a court-ordered psychologist’s report. Poor guy. His plea came but he never got to. Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Jack on June 27, 2013, 06:34:00 AM I'm really surprised the sofa pressed charges. Or was it underage or something? :question:
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Umaril Has Returned on June 27, 2013, 01:58:19 PM I guess the bigger the cushions, the better the pushin'...... Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: bob on June 27, 2013, 08:25:08 PM he got off easy: judge ordered no porn, 100% sobriety and a mental evaluation and he got probation
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Rev. Powell on June 28, 2013, 08:20:27 AM he got off easy: judge ordered no porn... Does that mean he can't order furniture catalogs? Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Umaril Has Returned on June 28, 2013, 03:53:54 PM he got off easy: judge ordered no porn... Does that mean he can't order furniture catalogs? yeah I can just see it now...the Morning Wood Furniture Catalog... Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: El Misfit on June 28, 2013, 09:02:02 PM I'm guessing he doesn't know about the rubber glove with two sponges in a Styrofoam cup.
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: sprite75 on June 28, 2013, 11:01:18 PM I'm guessing he doesn't know about the rubber glove with two sponges in a Styrofoam cup. Two sponges, one cup? Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Umaril Has Returned on June 29, 2013, 10:51:57 AM How much wood could a couch man sport, if a couch man could sport wood....
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Ed, Ego and Superego on July 03, 2013, 11:05:09 PM "But officer it IS a love seat, so I'm loving it"
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: indianasmith on July 04, 2013, 12:09:32 AM Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "have a seat!"
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Umaril Has Returned on July 06, 2013, 01:32:45 PM Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "have a seat!" Just think of what would happen if he put a hole in the fabric and made the springs come out..then you could say that "love springs eternal"! Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: retrorussell on July 06, 2013, 03:24:06 PM I hope no one ever looks for change in that couch's folds..
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Allhallowsday on July 06, 2013, 08:30:46 PM he got off easy: judge ordered no porn... Does that mean he can't order furniture catalogs? Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: El Misfit on July 07, 2013, 08:07:05 PM I'm guessing he doesn't know about the rubber glove with two sponges in a Styrofoam cup. Two sponges, one cup? Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: bob on July 11, 2013, 10:27:45 PM (http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll36/Bigsteve87/Gifs/Dave-Chappelle-F-Yo-Couch-Large.gif)
Title: Re: Wisconsin man caught in illicit tryst with discarded love seat Post by: Umaril Has Returned on July 14, 2013, 10:50:40 AM If he really wanted a love seat that badly, he should have seen Seaman's first... |