Badmovies.org Forum

Earlier tonight when we had our little DVD/Movie review, I had told WyreWizard about my exploits on this board.  His reaction "Didn't I warn you not to go there?  Those people are out of their minds!"  So I told him "You forget I deal with people like that on a daily basis."  He said "There's a fine line between your patients and the people who visit that board.  But anyways, how's my karma on there?"  I had told him and he raised his eyebrows.  "I guess I should go trolling on that board again so my karma would be brought down!"  Then he laughs maniacally.  Then he told me a particular message he had left on this board I should check out that would show me the depths of the depravity and delusions you people sink to.

That message:  My Favorite TV Commercial Reality Flaws.

In that post, WyreWizard made a claim about how some products are falsely advertised.  Beer, cars and Men's cologne.  But is it the cologne I will be talking about mostly.

I should tell you I've had 4 or 5 patients complain about how Axe and Tag don't work the way they do in the commercials.  One was suicidal because his GF had broke up with him after he used Tag.  Another was upset because he used the product and walked through a crowded city street and not one girl even noticed him!   Now believe it or not, the third patient is a woman who used it.  She was lesbian and interested only in women.  She tried it and got the same results as the first two guys.  Nada, zip, zero, zilch.  No women were attracted to her or even noticed her.

I should also tell you I have been happily married for almost 20 years.  When I was courting my wife, yes I did use colognes and aftershaves.  But none of them (and I mean absolutely NONE) made her lose her mind and be insanely attracted to me!

Now after reading the replies to that post, I had thought "Some of these people can't really be serious!"  It is no wonder WyreWizard calls some of you delusional and depraved.  Know these are not my opinions.  I just think some of you are...strange.

What I find bizarre and strange is that anyone would take a ridiculous, over the top, deliberately comedic commercial so seriously.  NO perfume or body splash has that effect!  OF COURSE the commercials are false!

Hello, WyreWizard.  Nice to meet your new screen-name. 

Strange and proud but in the world of strange I'd say that you're winning, your story about your 'patients' is the best bit of fiction I've read this week.

Let me make this absolutely clear:  if you do this again, I will ban you.  It will not matter if you try to shuffle off responsibility by claiming it was said by another person. 

I really dislike the game you are trying to play.

What did we do to cause WyreWizard so much psychic pain?   :twirl:

He was already in pain to begin with and his pain continues, obviously.

Ok, I have to take this in pieces...


That's true, I see no need for help.  I'm happy the sick and twisted way I am!


I wonder if I can done some sort of forum seance to summon him...


Ok, well I can clear that up for you.  You did it wrong.  First you need to put an ad in craig's list for "attractive actresses", the you pay each of them $100 to throw themselves at you in public after you clearly spary on Axe.  Then you set a time and meeting place, I prefer a shopping mall.  Then you walk into the set place take out the Axe and spray yourself with it.  Then the women will swarm you.  It's well worth the money and attention!


AGAIN... you did it wrong.  You used the wrong stuff...
(http://www.geekologie.com/2010/05/27/shirtless-kirk.jpg)


I prefer to view the world the way I like to see it.  It makes more sense that way. 


Just own up to it.  That's like saying "I don't mean to offend you, but you look like a giant turd that's been passed through a human centipede."


Am I strange or am I normal?  Maybe you are strange so you think I'm the strange one?

Did you ever think that a product can make false claims and have suckers buy from them? Do you have a brain or are you programmed to believe ever friggen thing on the TV? I'm calling BS on this, if you are a professional, you should know that this wouldn't have worked in the first place and told them straight out.


Marketing, do you know the definition of it? If not, here's a one:
the process or technique of promoting, selling, and distributing a product or service
What part has truth in it? None, it's all a ploy to spend your money on s**t you don't need, it's your fault for trying something that doesn't work on most people.

So far I think that this thread just reaffirms the fact that I could be filth rice if I developed a Sarcasm font for the internet.  Everyone takes things so seriously on the net because there's really no way to tell if it's sarcasm or not.  Think about it.  Wouldn't we have taken this thread a different way if...


was (and I'm sorry for not correctly quoting you here Doc...)


Just knowing it is sarcasm to being with makes much more sense then there being "4 or 5 patients" plus a psychologist (???) who actually believe that using some sort of body spray will make you irresistible to the opposite sex.  If that's true I feel really sorry for those people, because those are the same type of people who give lawyers so much work!  They would be the type of people have to be told at the end of commercials "toys do not actually move on their own".

If it helps, I already think of you as filth rice.  :bouncegiggle:

LOL!  That's what I get for not rereading what I wrote.  "filthy rich" is what I meant, but oh well.

Really, man...I've been throwing salt over my left shoulder with my right hand for decades every time I spill the salt, and I scratch my palms whenever they itch, and I STILL have yet to become rich! Short and sweet of it, don't believe everything you hear  (unless it's on the Internet....)

Axe and Tag...b***h, please.

Everyone knows women lose their s**t over Avon's Deep Woods colonge, but only if it comes in the football shaped bottle.

That was my fault, I think.  :buggedout: :wink:

You know that responses like this are exactly why he keeps coming back, right?



Too true  :bouncegiggle:

Or your undies' fault, Trev. We don't know the true effects they might have on the psycological behavior of those within range of the area of effect  :twirl:

On a more serious note, the boy needs to stop listening to everything his Rice Krispies tell him to do  :bouncegiggle:

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

So that's why I occasionally get dressed in drag and think I'm Joan Collins?  :wink: :teddyr:


 :teddyr: :teddyr:

Even after he insulted people at this very forum and Andrew giving him a warning I'm surprised people still reply to his stuff.

Troll bashing is fun!  That's why people reply to his stuff.  It's fun for the troll to make ridiculous comments, and sit back and watch how people take it.  It's also fun for the people who are replying then they get to relieve stress by saying how ridiculous those comments were.

Was that you in the season ender of Dynasty, Trev?  I'd have never known!, you had Ms. Collins walk and her accent down perfectly!  man you should go on Ru Paul, I swear.   :bouncegiggle:    Big hug back at ya'   :cheers:

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRNsiZsi9Ea9jbq-0YLYMlS7GmKMNPCZYBlYRkzYynHR4j0MIs_)

As you can see, there is a kind of resemblance. It's just that her lingerie is probably made of satin and lace and my undies are made of......ermmm: let's not go there.  :buggedout: :wink:

I do wish I looked like THIS 90% of the time...... wow.

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/05/22/article-2329315-19E9F1D0000005DC-832_634x450.jpg)

Gorgeous lady.  :smile:

Oh HELL yeah! She did a nude spread for Playboy years ago, but sadly it was all waist-up  :bluesad:  She even looked good then at 50. Too bad we didn't see the rest of her!

Agreed: South Africans didn't see any of those pictures as Playboy was banned here then.  :bluesad:

Frankly, it's about darn time that someone stuck it to the body spray industry.  While politicians and ralliers are out there wasting their time on piddly issues like the financial crisis and gun control, DrSimonCowell has the courage to speak out about what really matters in this world - Tag Body Spray - and I, for one, know that I'll sleep better tonight knowing that someone had the guts to Rage Against the Cologne!   :hot:

What?!? What were they thinking? WHy did they do that, I wonder?  Did it have something to do with white women or some other oddball law they came up with? Just curious.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

You think those people are upset now, wait until they find out that Red Bull doesn't really give you wings. 

THAT'S A LIE!  It does!  One time I drank a red bull (mixed with A LOT) of vodka, and I few for a few seconds off of a park bench.  My friends say I just jumped off and belly flopped on the grass, but I was in the air for several seconds... at least it seemed that way.

I think that some people are so literal-minded that they just don't get the "artistic license" or allegory used in discussion/commercials/art/movies, whatever.  Maybe it's a matter of aspergers or something -- not to diagnose, but there may not even be an intent to troll, just completely a matter of something going over a person's head or foreign to their way of thinking.

Sorry for being serious!  :)

Yeah, really. I myself was deeply disappointed when  a Geico representative told me that there were no Cavemen, too.  Even moreso when I found out that the people at State Farm weren't real farmers....

3 pages for this? :question:

Yeah, I bet we can do better!

3 pages of bulls**t is what we can give ya! :bouncegiggle:

Make that four pages.  :wink:

I wouldn't eat Fruit Gushers because I thought they would turn my head into a piece of fruit.

Then again, I was in grade school.

Did anyone ever actually measure out a roll of bubble tape to see if it really is six feet of gum?  I never tried it, I just knew it was A LOT of gum and the commercial said six feet.

And I just won a free tip to Fruit Snackia....UM NOM NOM!!!!

I was telling my wife about this thread, and we started talking about it ourselves. I think that at some point in our childhoods where we actually believed the commercials, so we harass our parents to but us a toy and it doesn't actually walk/talk/fly/shoot lasers/etc on its own. That is likely the point where we stop believing what we see on TV. Maybe these "patients" of the Doc's never had that experience.   I know how far fetched that sounds, but its a possibility right?

Hi Wyre!
Heres a video of  a monkey playing with s**t!
Find the reality flaws in that,snacker!  :wink:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1Yu8eqRMVg

Mm.  Mm.  M. 
It's interesting how many have looked at and responded to this thread!   :hot: 
Maybe it says something about the state of this forum. 
I could see where the Webmaster would get tired of this crap. 
As merely a member, I find it amusing.  Content!  Like stupid TV: content! 
If it's Wyre, welcome back! 

Ronnie, that post sums up why we love you around here!!!! :bouncegiggle:

Pretending to be a different user now? That's so childish it's sad.

I love the well formulated excuse you had for having the same IP. Jesus, man it's called a proxy. If you wanted to come back and say condescending things to us again you could have come back through your original handle instead of pretending to be someone else in a desperate hope that we'd think you have friends.

Your personality and the drama you bring with you is not acceptable on Badmovies.org. You play this stupid childish game to get on people's nerves; you should be harassing newfags on /b/ instead of posting on a site that demands somewhat intelligent thought.

Maybe Andrew is a better man than me, but were I in his position I would have banned you as soon as you came back with your new name. Maybe instead of wasting your time and ours you could actually do something productive with your time that would make people like you.

This is the last time I will ever make a post regarding you and your abysmal attempts cause trouble. My final word is nothing more than a plea to Andrew to have your IP banned.

-A.J.

And when A.J. is down on you, you are officially a naughty boy!!! :thumbdown:

No. we had the strictest censorship laws in the world, at least from 1963 to 1993. Even cinemas were closed on Sundays.  :bluesad:

And thanks for renewing my hate for censorship,  Trev.