Badmovies.org Forum

     My mother has been gone for twenty-one years, and from time to time, I wrestled with guilt over her death. From the time I was about eleven until about a year before she died, we didn't get along vey well, and it was mainly my fault-I was incorregeable, verbally abusive, and I even slapped her once for insulting a female friend of mine.

     The last year of her life, we managed to find a way to actually talk to each other, and were in the process of re-building our relationship when she was felled by a series of strokes. Ever since then, I've often believed that she died not knowing that I loved her, in spite of the demons inside. I recall an argument we were having one day, and she reminded me that I was her son. "Your son is DEAD, and I'm the one who killed him!" was my answer.

     I believed that she went to her grave with those words ringing in her ears.

     Last week, I was on the phone , talking to a cousin-in-law; Edie kept in touch with my ma up to her death, by phone and letters.
I don't know why, but something made me ask her, "Did she ever talk about me?"


     Edie said to me that, no matter how I or my two brothers acted, Ma always spoke of us as if we were Eagle Scouts-she wasn't blind to our shortcomings, but she wasn't biitter....she loved us, loved ME, and let everyone know it.

     I don't deserve her love, but I thank God for such a mother.

She'd be proud to see the person you have become.

A mother's love is one of the greatest gifts we can have and she knew that,under all that adolescent bluster was a decent man. :wink:

How wonderful for you Alan.   My mother just turned 88, and I saw her on Mother's Day (right near her birthday).  I was certainly once her favorite.  I greeted my family and my mother, and a few minutes later she looked across the table at me and asked... "Who are you?"   :bluesad:

I had the same thing with my Dad in 2007 - he was ill and we took him to hospital over Christmas. When we went to visit him the next day, he greeted me and asked me why I was there and not at work. I told him it was our end of year break and that I had a week off. He accepted that and then asked me who the lady with me was. It was my Mom.....

     I'm sorry.

     And you, as well.

one of the great joys of my life is bittersweet,ike your,alan.  my FIL and i were always good friends,we went to auctions together and annoyed my hubby and MIL terribly with the carp we bought for a buck a box. and we bought silly gifts for eavh other too.
but we also fought ALOT,usually over stupid things like politics,or my religion,just..stupid stuff.
the day he died,my husband was with him,and he told curtis what a good woman and wife i am for curtis,and how glad he was t know me,and know i would take care of his family. he died a few hours later.
i cherish that,so does my husband curtis.

now, MIL is dying...her memory is fading fast...it hurts.
my sympathies to all....

That's very sad,my friend. My Mom hasn't said that but she always calls me "Mary" now...that's my twin sister. She's 74 and is pretty feeble,both physically and mentally. However,I've been called my sister's name so much that sometimes I'm actually surprised to hear my name.