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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: zombie #1 on September 01, 2013, 06:07:21 PM



Title: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 01, 2013, 06:07:21 PM
I'm just channel surfing and the remake of "The Omen" appeared. I've struggled through this remake before and managed to eliminate it from my memory until now. Seriously, what was the point?! There was no chance they could ever recapture the atmosphere of the original, and they didnt do anything with it other than just go through the scenes one by one. Real bone-headed stuff. I know the "Psycho" remake was even more of a scene-for-scene thing, but somehow that didnt offend me as much, even though it was still totally pointless.

Any other suggestions?


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: JaseSF on September 01, 2013, 06:34:41 PM
Amityville Horror remake makes the original, which wasn't that great, look great in comparison.

There have been a number of recent era remakes that people, me included, actually forget ever happened. Clearly those were pointless. Sure some will get mentioned here.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 01, 2013, 06:43:48 PM
Amityville Horror remake makes the original, which wasn't that great, look great in comparison.

I didn't even know they remade that, lol.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: FatFreddysCat on September 01, 2013, 06:49:59 PM
The remake of "The Fog" was totally pointless. It didn't even scare my ten year old.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: SynapticBoomstick on September 01, 2013, 07:35:36 PM
Carrie, the trailer gives away all the major plot points. It might as well be plain texts that says, "We know you've seen this before so we won't try anything different."


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: bob on September 01, 2013, 07:40:21 PM
Total Recall starring Colin Farrell from last year has to be up there.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: akiratubo on September 01, 2013, 08:50:37 PM
Gus van Sant's Psycho remake.  It was the exact same script, pacing, camera angles, edits, and even music for the  most part.  The only things different were 1) a scene filmed through a screen door instead of an open door frame, 2) Norman jacking off while peeping on Marion, and 3) you could briefly see Marion's vulva when she keeled over after being stabbed.

Completely pointless.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: LilCerberus on September 01, 2013, 09:50:19 PM
Point Of No Return, the Americanized version of Le Femme Nikita.
God knows how they were able to take a perfectly good spy movie & turn it into a hodgepodge of cliches.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: VenomX73 on September 01, 2013, 09:52:11 PM
Carrie, the trailer gives away all the major plot points. It might as well be plain texts that says, "We know you've seen this before so we won't try anything different."

YUP. Pretty much.

Total Recall starring Colin Farrell from last year has to be up there.

I refuse to watch it.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: pizdatrica on September 02, 2013, 01:02:37 AM
Funny Games, Death at a Funeral

both were exactly the same as the original, just made so that americans would watch them.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: voltron on September 02, 2013, 01:37:24 AM
Black Christmas  :hatred: :hatred: :hatred: :hatred:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Trevor on September 02, 2013, 01:38:00 AM
Total Recall starring Colin Farrell from last year has to be up there.

I got my ass to Mars: I refused to watch it, even though I like Colin Farrell.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Trevor on September 02, 2013, 01:39:22 AM
Black Christmas  :hatred: :hatred: :hatred: :hatred:

When and why did they remake that classic?  :question:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 02, 2013, 07:22:56 AM
don't watch this trev: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGFJdvQw65o  :buggedout:

I hated the black xmas remake. probably the most obnoxious bunch of characters in a horror I've seen.

But...I grudgingly admit they at least did something a bit different with it. But it's cack, yeah.


Funny Games, Death at a Funeral

both were exactly the same as the original, just made so that americans would watch them.


s'pose "The Ring" would fit into that category as well?


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: pizdatrica on September 02, 2013, 07:26:29 AM
Havent seen the original Ring  :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Trevor on September 02, 2013, 08:11:59 AM
don't watch this trev: [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGFJdvQw65o [/url] :buggedout:


OK, I won't. Youtube is blocked at my work so I'm lucky.  :teddyr:

Quote
I hated the black xmas remake. probably the most obnoxious bunch of characters in a horror I've seen.

But...I grudgingly admit they at least did something a bit different with it. But it's cack, yeah.


I would imagine that the word 'cack' means pretty much the same as the Afrikaans slang word does.  :wink:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 02, 2013, 09:16:00 AM
cackerooni, cack-a-lacka, clicketty cack, cackingtonz.....not very good


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 02, 2013, 11:27:14 AM
I will also chuck in the "Friday The 13th" remake

considering how many sequels it's had they might as well have just made a Friday The 13th Part XXXVIII or whatever, instead of starting again from scratch and making it so lame. The remake added nothing!


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: BakuryuuTyranno on September 02, 2013, 12:54:57 PM
The true winner:

The Last House on the Left

The original was made because, with graphic murder recently depicted, graphic rape was logically the next thing someone would try to get away with.

The remake ... had no purpose. It was already known you could get away with depicting graphic rape.

Also - I Spit on Your Grave


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 02, 2013, 01:37:53 PM
yeah. LHOTL remake I just found dull. it was technically good but had none of the quirky charm or off-the-wall weirdness of the first one. so....what was the point?!

ISOYG remake wasn't good, but I actually liked it a bit better than the original. The lead actress was surprisingly decent I thought.  (then again I really cant stand the original.)


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: SynapticBoomstick on September 02, 2013, 04:28:49 PM
Funny Games, Death at a Funeral

both were exactly the same as the original, just made so that americans would watch them.

That's how I'd describe REC and Quarantine. They're 99.5% the exact same movie with some sexual interest between the female reporter and leading fireman thrown in for the American audience. Dialogue, camera angles; virtually the same.

Of course, the obvious differences become clear when REC 2 follows the events of the first film in finding a cure and Quarantine 2 is randomly about three college girls on an airplane with deadly kill-thingies. I've seen the senario done before and much better in worse movies. :lookingup:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Trevor on September 03, 2013, 05:36:49 AM
cackerooni, cack-a-lacka, clicketty cack, cackingtonz.....not very good

Yes, it does mean the same.  :teddyr:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Trevor on September 03, 2013, 05:46:05 AM
Cabo Blanco: the lame re-make of that little known film with Humphrey Bogart......  :buggedout:

(http://images.moviepostershop.com/caboblanco-movie-poster-1980-1010378064.jpg)

Maybe the producers thought we were idiots and wouldn't recognize the storyline.....


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: FatFreddysCat on September 03, 2013, 12:00:21 PM
I will also chuck in the "Friday The 13th" remake

considering how many sequels it's had they might as well have just made a Friday The 13th Part XXXVIII or whatever, instead of starting again from scratch and making it so lame. The remake added nothing!

This is true. The "remake" wasn't any better, or any worse, than most of the "original series" F13's.

How'bout the "un-official" James Bond movie, Never Say Never Again? It's essentially a retread of 1965's Thunderball, with some added jabs at Connery's age.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 03, 2013, 04:32:33 PM
for some reason I always enjoy watching "Never Say Never Again" when it comes on tv. I love the video game 'Domination' scene and the bit where he massages that lady to get info... it's just campy fun.

 maybe if I was to sit down and analyse the Bond films properly I'd find out it was a poor relation to the 'real' ones but as it stands I quite like it, lol


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: DrSpunkwater on September 03, 2013, 05:00:20 PM
Burton's Planet of the Apes. What a waste of time.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: clockworkcanary on September 04, 2013, 06:15:40 PM
The Wicker Man (2006) was worse than pointless...it was insulting. Sure, they tried something a little different, but that "different" sucked donkey nuts. I think they were just trolling everyone with that flick.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: JaseSF on September 04, 2013, 06:39:18 PM
The Invasion seemed pretty pointless. Just how many Body Snatchers remakes are there? Only the original film and the first remake from the 70s are really worthwhile.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: FatFreddysCat on September 04, 2013, 06:56:40 PM
The Invasion seemed pretty pointless. Just hos many Body Snatchers remakes are there? Only the original film and the first remake from the 70s are really worthwhile.

Yeah, that one was no great shakes, aside from the sight of Nicole Kidman in tight sweaters.  :teddyr:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: crackers on September 05, 2013, 03:34:40 AM
I really disliked the A Nightmare On Elm Street remake. Why turn Freddy in to a pedophile?


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: LilCerberus on September 05, 2013, 10:53:59 AM
I really disliked the A Nightmare On Elm Street remake. Why turn Freddy in to a pedophile?
I thought he already was...


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: BoyScoutKevin on September 07, 2013, 12:26:23 PM
I really disliked the A Nightmare On Elm Street remake. Why turn Freddy in to a pedophile?
I thought he already was...

He was . . .
as I understand it.

I have to agree about "Psycho," especially as it was a shot-by-shot remake. Though, there is one thing I like about the remake, and that is Chad Everett's performance as Tom Cassidy. (IMHO) a far better performance than Frank Albertson's performance as the same character in the original version. Otherwise, a waste of celluloid.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: DrSpunkwater on September 07, 2013, 06:59:55 PM
I really disliked the A Nightmare On Elm Street remake. Why turn Freddy in to a pedophile?
I thought he already was...

I don't know what Nightmare on Elm Streets crackers was watching, but Freddy's always been a pedophile. That'd be the reason a lynch mob burned him alive.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Kaseykockroach on September 07, 2013, 11:24:52 PM
Don't 98.9% of remakes qualify? The only good remakes I can think of are The Maltese Falcon and The Man Who Knew Too Much.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: VenomX73 on September 07, 2013, 11:51:52 PM
I think Night of the Demons remake was good. It was real cheesy - but that's the point.

(http://systechsoftwares.com/support/night-of-the-demons-2009-858.jpg)

Yes, I like the original the best - but the remake was way fun to watch.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 08, 2013, 06:40:56 AM
Don't 98.9% of remakes qualify? The only good remakes I can think of are The Maltese Falcon and The Man Who Knew Too Much.
The Fly, Scarface, Cape Fear... There's a few

one of the only 'trashy' new horror remakes I actually enjoyed (possibly more than the original) was My Bloody Valentine 3D. it was entertaining all the way through and they made the storyline and plot twist a lot cleverer. still pretty throwaway but I enjoyed it. I only saw it in 2D as well


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: crackers on September 08, 2013, 07:40:34 AM
I really disliked the A Nightmare On Elm Street remake. Why turn Freddy in to a pedophile?
I thought he already was...

I don't know what Nightmare on Elm Streets crackers was watching, but Freddy's always been a pedophile. That'd be the reason a lynch mob burned him alive.

Sorry I have to disagree. The reason for the lynch mob was because he killed the kids ( as seen in the first episode of Freddys Nightmares). There was never any reference to him being a pedophile, that I saw anyway. Feel free to prove me wrong.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Chainsaw midget on September 08, 2013, 09:33:24 AM
They never said Freddy was a pedophile in the original series.  They suggested it more than a few times, sure, but they never came out and said it. 


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: clockworkcanary on September 08, 2013, 10:17:57 AM
It was definitely implied that Freddy was a kiddy fiddler, although as the series went on, they downplayed it quite a bit (as he became so damned popular). Freddy vs. Jason brought it back a bit (to sell him as even more evil than Jason) but the remake made no bones about it.

Regardless, the NOES remake was f**king horrible.

Frankenstein (of the 30s) was a decent remake of the original (that being the early 1900s version done by Thomas Edison).


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: JaseSF on September 08, 2013, 03:20:11 PM
There haven't been many good remakes since the 1980s IMO. Before that, they did seem a bit more common - think of sci-fi in the 70s/80s: Invasion of Body Snatchers, Thing, Blob, Fly, Invaders From Mars - they were all decent enough.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: VenomX73 on September 08, 2013, 03:23:43 PM
King Kong 1976 is my #1 favorite remake.

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qr_X4kPPEFg/T__bWuNu6QI/AAAAAAAAIo0/N5sG7F7lX_M/s1600/King+Kong+1976+BRRip+720p+Multi+Audio+mediafire2.png)



Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: FatFreddysCat on September 08, 2013, 08:46:49 PM
King Kong 1976 is my #1 favorite remake.

([url]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qr_X4kPPEFg/T__bWuNu6QI/AAAAAAAAIo0/N5sG7F7lX_M/s1600/King+Kong+1976+BRRip+720p+Multi+Audio+mediafire2.png[/url])




Jessica Lange was fiiiiiiiine back then. :D


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Kaseykockroach on September 08, 2013, 09:22:14 PM
Oh yeah, forgot about The Fly (which is tied with the original in my book. Brilliant in its own way) and The Blob (better than the original).
Though it seems there's a difference between a "reimagining" and a "remake". The Fly is a reimagining of the original. The NoES is a remake.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: indianasmith on September 08, 2013, 11:17:34 PM
I am actually very fond of the King Kong remake.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: claws on September 09, 2013, 09:34:58 AM
The true winner:

The Last House on the Left

The original was made because, with graphic murder recently depicted, graphic rape was logically the next thing someone would try to get away with.

The remake ... had no purpose. It was already known you could get away with depicting graphic rape.

I always thought The Last House on the Left was a good candidate for a remake. Sure, you can't re-capture the seedy, sleazy, dirty Grindhouse feel of it's time but the Original LHOTL wasn't a "flawless" movie to begin with. Meaning, I had more issues with those comic relief Cops. Whatever shock value the movie had was clearly ruined by the Cops.
I think the remake succeeded in every aspect and I definitely dig the art-house approach. I don't think there could have been any other way to remake the film. The rape is still hard to watch and the victim's parents are totally believable and ... ace. You won't see any better acting in recent horror movies.

My vote for most pointless remake goes to the Psycho remake.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: VenomX73 on September 09, 2013, 10:03:47 AM
I am actually very fond of the King Kong remake.

and don't forget how GREAT it's original sound track was! (1976) :smile:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Allhallowsday on September 10, 2013, 02:05:13 PM
Don't 98.9% of remakes qualify? The only good remakes I can think of are The Maltese Falcon and The Man Who Knew Too Much.
The Fly, Scarface, Cape Fear... There's a few...
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978) and INVADERS FROM MARS (1986) were both good. 


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Bushma on September 10, 2013, 09:06:52 PM
Ok, I just read this and want to share so I won't be the only one saying "WTF?!  WHY?!"

Quote
Stargate director and co-writer Roland Emmerich recently told DigitalSpy he plans to restart his franchise
Quote
We went to MGM, who has the rights, and we proposed to them to do a sequel, but as a reboot," Emmerich said. "Reboot it as a movie, and then do three parts. That's what we're doing right now, and pretty soon we'll have to look for a writer and start.

Yeah, they are rebooting Stargate to make it into a trilogy. 


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Chainsaw midget on September 10, 2013, 09:22:47 PM
Quote
Yeah, they are rebooting Stargate to make it into a trilogy. 
Why a trilogy?  Why not two movies?  or four?  five? 

Haven't we seen enough horrible trilogies to have killed off the idea that three movies automatically makes things awesome? 



Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: DrSpunkwater on September 22, 2013, 08:28:39 AM
I really disliked the A Nightmare On Elm Street remake. Why turn Freddy in to a pedophile?
I thought he already was...

I don't know what Nightmare on Elm Streets crackers was watching, but Freddy's always been a pedophile. That'd be the reason a lynch mob burned him alive.

Sorry I have to disagree. The reason for the lynch mob was because he killed the kids ( as seen in the first episode of Freddys Nightmares). There was never any reference to him being a pedophile, that I saw anyway. Feel free to prove me wrong.

Apparently subtlety is lost on some, which would explain the state of movies. It was strongly hinted at in the movies, though never outright said. In addition, seeing as Freddy's a serial killer, the odds of rape being included in his acts is overwhelmingly probable.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 22, 2013, 11:33:54 AM
Apparently subtlety is lost on some, which would explain the state of movies.
no need for this kind of provocative jibe really. we're a friendly bunch here (honest!)

I would say if it isn't explicitly stated in the storyline, it's probably best not to assume that he was. However I'm not that familiar with the Nightmare On Elm St. movies so I can't say for sure.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: tracy on September 23, 2013, 01:02:00 PM
Arthur II  stank on ice. Even though he kept the money and married the woman he loved he was still an idiotic drunk.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: FatFreddysCat on September 23, 2013, 08:27:36 PM
Re the "was Freddy a pedo or not" question: It's been ages since I've seen any of the N.O.E.S. series but I could swear he was referred to as a "child molestor" at least once in the original and possibly some of the earlier sequels.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: tracy on September 24, 2013, 12:38:34 PM
Burton's Planet of the Apes. What a waste of time.

I enjoyed that remake myself.  :smile:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Allhallowsday on September 24, 2013, 04:53:09 PM
Carrie, the trailer gives away all the major plot points. It might as well be plain texts that says, "We know you've seen this before so we won't try anything different."
I've been seeing the trailer for CARRIESISSY SPACEK may have been sexy, but no beauty.  Kind of a real girl face, even mousy.  This new "Carrie" is quite attractive.  I see car wreck, I see bucket o' mud (probably one of their "reimaginings"  :lookingup:) maybe it just looks dark and it's still pig's blood.  Really?  When will remakers learn?  Maybe it'll be great...  :question:


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: SynapticBoomstick on September 25, 2013, 02:02:57 AM
Ok, I just read this and want to share so I won't be the only one saying "WTF?!  WHY?!"

Quote
Stargate director and co-writer Roland Emmerich recently told DigitalSpy he plans to restart his franchise
Quote
We went to MGM, who has the rights, and we proposed to them to do a sequel, but as a reboot," Emmerich said. "Reboot it as a movie, and then do three parts. That's what we're doing right now, and pretty soon we'll have to look for a writer and start.

Yeah, they are rebooting Stargate to make it into a trilogy. 


Stargate: The Goa'uld Menace.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zelmo73 on September 25, 2013, 01:35:22 PM
I will throw in my two cents here, and add The Thing (2011) on to the list. Yes, I know that it is supposed to be a prequel of sorts to the outstanding 1982 Kurt Russell vehicle, but aside from the use of English-speaking Norwegians and the questionable logic of assigning a couple of women to a remote Antarctic weather station full of dudes who are most likely horny as hell, the movie's plot really didn't deviate all that much from the vastly superior 1982 film of the same name. "Vastly superior" due, in large part, to the simple fact that CGI gore is just not that scary.

The practical effects used in the 1982 film is really what made that movie so impressive; Rob Bottin was really at his best in that one, I've always believed. So when you have CGI tentacles bursting out of a CGI body, your CGI-weary eyes that were weaned on 20 years of bad Jurassic Park cartoony effects are going to call b.s. whenever they see it (check out the most recent Hobbit movie for a great example of when CGI goes wrong), subsequently you're not going to get scared.

It really added nothing to the overall story, since it was supposed to be a prequel, then we must include the 1982 film as part of the story as well. But this movie still felt like a remake and not a prequel, because the 2011 film plot and scene sequencing basically mirrors the 1982 film almost exactly, except with different characters. The acting done in the 1982 film was also much better, with bigger named actors going on to do bigger and better things after that one (Kurt Russell, David Keith, Richard Masur, etc.). Though, I must admit, Mary Elizabeth Winstead was a large reason why I rented the 2011 film because...well, just look at her.! :hot:

Ultimately though, the world could have done without the 2011 film, as it really added nothing to the overall story. It merely revisited it, which to me qualifies as a remake, and was therefore pointless.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 25, 2013, 02:54:55 PM
yeah I agree, can't believe anyone thought the 1982 'Thing' could be in any way improved/updated etc... not even bothered to watch it. spot on about the CGI stuff as well...


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: SynapticBoomstick on September 26, 2013, 06:35:58 AM
(check out the most recent Hobbit movie for a great example of when CGI goes wrong)

Now I'm geeking over the Pale Orc again. After three movies of fully physical in-camera guys made up to look like orcs, they made a computer-generated one. He was fine as a character, just not one that required CGI to realize.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zelmo73 on September 26, 2013, 02:55:05 PM
Yeah, Mr. Pale Orc has got nothing on the Uruk-hai fellow from the Fellowship of the Ring movie. He was the big crewmember fellow on the Black Pearl from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Umaril Has Returned on September 26, 2013, 03:13:23 PM
Carrie, the trailer gives away all the major plot points. It might as well be plain texts that says, "We know you've seen this before so we won't try anything different."
I've been seeing the trailer for CARRIESISSY SPACEK may have been sexy, but no beauty.  Kind of a real girl face, even mousy.  This new "Carrie" is quite attractive.  I see car wreck, I see bucket o' mud (probably one of their "reimaginings"  :lookingup:) maybe it just looks dark and it's still pig's blood.  Really?  When will remakers learn?  Maybe it'll be great...  :question:

I see your point abut Sissy Spacek..she was sexy in that Mid-Western "girl-next-door" look-the peaches and cream country girl look.  She had lovely
 hair and seriously beautiful blue eyes, kind of that budding beauty look.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: JaseSF on September 27, 2013, 06:24:00 PM
Agree with AHD about that trailer. Still the film has Julianne Moore so perhaps it isn't all bad?....doesn't look particularly good from that trailer though.

Some more forgettable remakes that so do not come close to replacing the originals:

The Time Machine (2002)
War of the Worlds (2005)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
I Am Legend (2007)
Godzilla (1998)
Rollerball (2002)
The Haunting (1999)
The Stepford Wives (2004)
The Omen (2006)

Now who out there actually thinks of these films before the original versions? Out of them, I suspect only I Am Legend might get some votes over the original Last Man on Earth and Omega Man but certainly not from me, that's for sure.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 28, 2013, 07:14:10 PM

The Omen (2006)

Great shout. Another one for the 'how did they possibly think they'd even come close to the original?' stack.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Allhallowsday on September 28, 2013, 07:58:45 PM
Agree with AHD about that trailer. Still the film has Julianne Moore so perhaps it isn't all bad?....doesn't look particularly good from that trailer though.

Some more forgettable remakes that so do not come close to replacing the originals:

The Time Machine (2002)
War of the Worlds (2005)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
I Am Legend (2007)
Godzilla (1998)
Rollerball (2002)
The Haunting (1999)
The Stepford Wives (2004)
The Omen (2006)

Now who out there actually thinks of these films before the original versions? Out of them, I suspect only I Am Legend might get some votes over the original Last Man on Earth and Omega Man but certainly not from me, that's for sure.
Believe it or not, I felt WAR OF THE WORLDS (that's the SPIELBERG one, right?) had merit and was a bit disturbing, with some great visuals (all the flags were reminiscent of a terrible time).. the rest I've mostly seen and you're right.  They're sh!t. 


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: RCMerchant on September 29, 2013, 06:01:17 AM
King Kong 1976 is my #1 favorite remake.

([url]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qr_X4kPPEFg/T__bWuNu6QI/AAAAAAAAIo0/N5sG7F7lX_M/s1600/King+Kong+1976+BRRip+720p+Multi+Audio+mediafire2.png[/url])



Really? I saw it at the movie house when it came out.
No dinosaurs-just a really lame snake.
The only remakes I have seen that were worth a f**k were Carpenters The THING,the  1978  INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (which gave a nod to the original with Kevin McCarthy running down the street screaming "Your next! Your next!"),and Hammer's reboot of the Kharis mummy films-Christopher Lee was the scareist mummy EVER.
Movies like LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT are best left undone. With all the torture movies out there now-who gives a f**k.It's a joke


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 29, 2013, 04:34:03 PM
Merch, do you like The Fly? the Jeff Goldblum remake I mean... don't think I've ever seen anyone say they prefer the 50's original (which I've never seen)


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: JaseSF on September 29, 2013, 08:34:21 PM
They're actually two very different films. The 50s Fly film is more fun, a few scares here and there, perhaps a few black humor moments too, plus some gross out moments while the 80s remake is I'd argue more terrifying and perhaps even grosser.

I thought the 1988 Blob remake was pretty decent too even if I do prefer the original. Can't think of too many remakes after 1990 that were particularly good.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on September 30, 2013, 05:53:39 PM
no, me neither...

http://www.nextmovie.com/blog/upcoming-movie-remakes/
just found this list from 2010 of planned remakes. a few were slated for this  year which we haven't seen yet... Mad Max, Pet Cemetary, Point Break


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Zapranoth on October 03, 2013, 12:53:15 AM
Agree with AHD about that trailer. Still the film has Julianne Moore so perhaps it isn't all bad?....doesn't look particularly good from that trailer though.

Some more forgettable remakes that so do not come close to replacing the originals:

The Time Machine (2002)
War of the Worlds (2005)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
I Am Legend (2007)
Godzilla (1998)
Rollerball (2002)
The Haunting (1999)
The Stepford Wives (2004)
The Omen (2006)

Now who out there actually thinks of these films before the original versions? Out of them, I suspect only I Am Legend might get some votes over the original Last Man on Earth and Omega Man but certainly not from me, that's for sure.
Believe it or not, I felt WAR OF THE WORLDS (that's the SPIELBERG one, right?) had merit and was a bit disturbing, with some great visuals (all the flags were reminiscent of a terrible time).. the rest I've mostly seen and you're right.  They're sh!t. 


I'll second you, AHD.  I am not a big Cruise fan, but I thought the War of the Worlds remake had merit.    HOOOOOOONK!   Zap.    People getting blasted out of their shoes.  The visuals worked.  Now, there was another remake... I only saw the trailer.  It looked like the bad kind of bad.

I, for one, completely hated the Jackson King Kong remake.  It represented what you get when you mostly don't rein in Jackson's excesses --  poor pacing, subpar gratuitousness.    Either go full on unrestrained Jackson (Bad Taste) or better-restrained (LotR).   

Godzilla remake...  Completely, 100% do not remember it.  And wasn't there a 1985 one too?    I know I saw it, but I don't remember a thing. 


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Chainsaw midget on October 03, 2013, 11:36:56 AM
Quote
I, for one, completely hated the Jackson King Kong remake.  It represented what you get when you mostly don't rein in Jackson's excesses --  poor pacing, subpar gratuitousness.    Either go full on unrestrained Jackson (Bad Taste) or better-restrained (LotR).   
I'm with you on that one.  I didn't want a "cute" King Kong.  I didn't want one that was relate-able.  I liked the old version.  He was a wild animal that panicked and rampaged because that's what wild animals do when they're scared and angry.  They don't have funny ice skating scenes.



Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: JaseSF on October 04, 2013, 10:56:57 PM
I know some liked it but I hated the Halloween (2007) remake. Thought King Kong was just OK. In fact, I also prefer the 70s film version over that one. None compares to the original IMO though.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zelmo73 on October 05, 2013, 12:34:33 AM
Quote
I, for one, completely hated the Jackson King Kong remake.  It represented what you get when you mostly don't rein in Jackson's excesses --  poor pacing, subpar gratuitousness.    Either go full on unrestrained Jackson (Bad Taste) or better-restrained (LotR).   
I'm with you on that one.  I didn't want a "cute" King Kong.  I didn't want one that was relate-able.  I liked the old version.  He was a wild animal that panicked and rampaged because that's what wild animals do when they're scared and angry.  They don't have funny ice skating scenes.

Yeah, I don't know what is up with liberal Hollywood giving our movie villains "feelings" nowadays. Joss Whedon is reportedly doing the same with one of my favorite Marvel villains, Ultron, in the upcoming Avengers 2 movie. One of the most endearing qualities of Ultron in the comic books was that he was a heartless bastard. I don't care what he is "feeling" or what made him that way. I mean, did we care how Satan got to be so bad in the Bible? Hell no! None of us cared that God kicked Satan out of heaven for being a bad angel. All we cared about was that Satan was a badass.

Silly liberal Hollywood will never get it right. A conservative Hollywood would leave comic book villains just the way they are: bad. With a healthy dose of God, guns, and girls thrown in, the good ol' American way!


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: crackers on October 17, 2013, 03:58:39 AM
So last night the remake of The Karate Kid was on TV. I never had any intention of watching it, but I thought what the hey.

This is well up there as one of the silliest. The thing that makes NO sense to me if the fact that the kid is learning Kung Fu and not karate. I'm not all that clued up on martial arts, but I have always been under the impression that the two are different? I could be wrong.

All this and it's 2 HOURS AND 20 MINS LONG!!!!!!!


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on October 17, 2013, 07:28:53 AM
the one with Will Smith's son? he just annoys me, lol

Other day I was looking through DVD's in the shop  and saw this

(http://p.playserver1.com/ProductImages/7/5/8/4/1/6/0/2/20614857_300x300_1.jpg)

I haven't seen it, but I'm sticking it here anyway. that's how convinced I am of its pointlessness. (unless anyone can prove otherwise)


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: crackers on October 17, 2013, 08:26:33 AM
the one with Will Smith's son? he just annoys me, lol


Thats the one and I couldn't agree more.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: messedup on December 17, 2013, 10:19:59 AM
A recent example would be Old Boy...Huge fan of the original, but the remake was just s**t.
Also:
The Karate Kid - Too long and I just hate Jaden Smith. Only good thing was Jackie Chan. I won't even mention the whole "Karate/Kung Fu"-Thing.
The Grudge - Compared to the Ringu-Remake I thought this one was boring as hell.
Funny Games - Not really a bad remake, but it's absolutely pointless because it's the same movie frame by frame just with american actors.
The Fog - I love the Original, but what they did with the remake was a joke.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Ted C on December 17, 2013, 11:15:29 AM
And it now appears that The Terminator is getting remade. That's pretty damn high on my "Why? WHYYYYY?!?!?!?!" list.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zombie #1 on December 17, 2013, 11:51:24 AM
Terminator? Odd one. Would that be the first Arnie original to get the remake treatment? Can't think of any others... Arnie kind of stamps his presence on all of his films and almost makes himself the focal point of the whole movie. Not sure how they could replace that 'Arnie element'


Funny Games - Not really a bad remake, but it's absolutely pointless because it's the same movie frame by frame just with american actors.
yeah I started to watch this remake and gave up after less than 10 minutes. Pointless, as you say...


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Ted C on December 17, 2013, 12:11:51 PM
Terminator? Odd one. Would that be the first Arnie original to get the remake treatment? Can't think of any others... Arnie kind of stamps his presence on all of his films and almost makes himself the focal point of the whole movie. Not sure how they could replace that 'Arnie element'

Well, Conan the Barbarian was remade, so it's not the first.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: messedup on December 17, 2013, 12:23:55 PM
Terminator? Odd one. Would that be the first Arnie original to get the remake treatment? Can't think of any others... Arnie kind of stamps his presence on all of his films and almost makes himself the focal point of the whole movie. Not sure how they could replace that 'Arnie element'

Well, Conan the Barbarian was remade, so it's not the first.
Not to forget Total Recall...even though you could argue that this and Conan were just new interpretations of the stories they are based on.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Kooshmeister on December 17, 2013, 12:44:44 PM
The 1995 version of Sahara. Beat for beat it's basically the same movie. Almost nothing is done differently. And what is done differently is just stupid.

Such as the character of Leroux, the French soldier. Apparently in an effort to avoid any French stereotypes, they made him a moody jerk. He unfairly uses von Schletow (the pilot) as a proxy for his (adittedly understandable) hatred of Germans, and when von Schletow quite reasonably points out that he, personally, had nothing to do with the destruction of Leroux's village and therefore doesn't deserve this treatment from the Frenchman, Leroux threatens to kill him.

I lost sympathy for Leroux after that. Von Schletow made a perfectly good point, and the only response Leroux can think of is a death threat?

Also, how he dies is entirely his own fault. He pretends to negotiate just to kill von Falken and gets himself shot in the process.

In the original, he didn't kill von Falken and the nasty Germans shot him in the back as he was returning. The Germans were genuinely bad there. Here, Leroux gives up the moral high ground by murdering von Falken during a parley, and the Germans are entirely justified in shooting him in retaliation.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: alandhopewell on December 17, 2013, 04:15:17 PM
     DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
The original was actually about something; this dreck was about 103 minutes too long.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: ChaosTheory on December 17, 2013, 05:45:20 PM
THE STEPFORD WIVES in addition to being pointless, is just about the most tonally disjointed thing I've ever seen.

**Spoilers for THE EYE, if anyone cares**


After I saw the Chinese movie THE EYE, I had the distinct thought - "if they do  US-version of this, I bet they'll make the psychologist a dick for no reason and have her succeed in saving the traffic-jam people." And lo and behold that's exactly what happened.  Yeesh.



**end spoilers**
Really, any US remake of any Asian horror film is probably going to be terrible.

I can't say I'm optimistic for the new ROBOCOP either.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Gst0395 on December 17, 2013, 06:08:53 PM
And it now appears that The Terminator is getting remade. That's pretty damn high on my "Why? WHYYYYY?!?!?!?!" list.

First Total Recall, then RoboCop, now Terminator? Where will it end? Why don't they try remaking a film less popular and acclaimed if they're so low on ideas?

I think Escape from New York and Blade Runner have plans to be remade as well. I swear, it's becoming a trend in Hollywood to attempt to remake 80s sci-fi flicks. I think they should just leave them the way they are.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: zelmo73 on December 17, 2013, 07:25:49 PM
It has become a common practice for me to check the background of a theater film that is coming out before I go to see it. I check to see if it is a remake or not. If it is a remake, chances are that I won't go to see it, and instead opt for the original version first if I haven't seen it or just wait for video or Netflix to check it out, like I did with True Grit (2010) which actually wasn't that bad for a remake, but I'm still glad that I didn't pay full movie price to go and watch it. It was good, but it wasn't that good.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: bob on December 18, 2013, 07:00:35 PM
Stephen King's The Shining mini-series deserves to be mentioned again.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: WingedSerpent on December 19, 2013, 10:27:04 PM
Six pages and nobody mentions the Clash of the Titans remake?  

Taking a fun colorful fantasy and turning it a gritty bland movie.  Many would complain about the CGI but there is enough flaws in this film that complaining about it is just about pointless.  

They completely miss the point of the Medusa design-her look was based on a fashion model, when Ray Haryhausem made a point to ugly her up-like a gorgon is supposed to be.  Those tree people things where an unneeded addition to the story.  Calibos' design looked horrible compared to the original. No imagination in it at all.  

I'll admit I left the theater thinking" OK, that wasn't as bad as it could have been"  but there more I thought about it and re-watching it on cable later-the more the flaws where evident and the more I disliked it.  I had come to  realize just how ashamed of its source material this remake was.

  


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Ted C on December 19, 2013, 10:49:32 PM
I'll admit I left the theater thinking" OK, that wasn't as bad as it could have been"  but there more I thought about it and re-watching it on cable later-the more the flaws where evident and the more I disliked it.  I had come to  realize just how ashamed of its source material this remake was.

When the best you can say is "it could have been worse", it's pretty crappy.

The "Jinn" came out of nowhere. What the hell?

They tried for "darker and edgier". They achieved "slower and dumber".


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: MrMari on December 20, 2013, 08:23:37 AM
I Spit On Your Grave...hands down IMO

I've voiced my opinion on the original one before. I can't stand it and this is coming from a huge grindhouse/ NY roughie fan. But the original made me sick for days and the fact that someone felt compelled to remake that crap was beyond me. Then they made a sequal! Look, I love revenge flicks...but the long and gratuitous ride to get to the revenge part had me highly disturbed.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: Gst0395 on December 20, 2013, 10:45:53 AM
I Spit On Your Grave...hands down IMO

I've voiced my opinion on the original one before. I can't stand it and this is coming from a huge grindhouse/ NY roughie fan. But the original made me sick for days and the fact that someone felt compelled to remake that crap was beyond me. Then they made a sequal! Look, I love revenge flicks...but the long and gratuitous ride to get to the revenge part had me highly disturbed.

I've heard things about Spit On Your Grave. It was a particularly hated film by Roger Ebert, and one of the more infamous "video nasties" in the UK. I think I'll steer clear of this one.


Title: Re: Most pointless 'remake' of all?
Post by: bob on January 12, 2014, 11:50:26 PM
Spike Lee's Old Boy