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Write a terrible script for a movie!  But all of the characters have to be members of the forums!

A fool by the name of Andrew read a line from Necronomicon. This unleashed an eldritch abomination that lays waste to all it sees. To redeem himself and save the world Andrew collects a team of bad movie enthusiasts to seal the monster away.

Trevor - A film archivist with a knowledge of the worst and most obscure cinematic turds.
TrekGeezer - A hardcore Sci-Fi fan armed with a functional Star Trek phaser.
RC Merchant - A tough as nails vampire (Who drinks RC cola instead of blood) that can club fifty eldritch monsters with a baseball bat before he brushes his teeth.
Rev. Powell - A steadfast and stern leader of the group.
A.J. Bauer - A young college student with anger issues and a massive collection of My Little Pony fanfiction.
Indiana Smith - A daring archaeologist that is not to be confused with that other archaeologist.
LilCerberus - An expert spy who has only been caught ten times in one mission!
Jack - He drives the SUV on weekends. Without Jack the heroes couldn't operate at all! Thanks to Jack they're saving the world SAT-SUN! (Only 8 seats, everyone else gets stuffed in the trunk)
Derf - Torn apart by an SMG before the movie started.

Together they must use their combined knowledge to send the monster Uwe'wood'andergoth back to it's eternal prison under the deepest depths of Hollywood.

Uwe'wood'andergoth...

Sir, you have written your own Hackmaster/D&D monsterpedia entry.
  :tongueout:

The film opens in an abandoned movie theater...

Uwe'wood'andergoth was a joke on the weird long names H.P. Lovecraft would give to eldritch abominations.

The "goth" part coming from Shoggoth. The rest was the names if bad directors.

Uwe Boll, Ed Wood, Paul W.S. Anderson.

Sadly I forgot Michael Bay.

Can I be in it?
I'd make a great lurker whose disguise sticks out like a sore thumb!  :teddyr:

Your script needs a daring archaeologist/religious mystic who can dig for arrowheads, leap across narrow gorges, read ancient texts, understand Roman politics of the late Republic and early empire, and he needs to have very sexy nostrils.

Sound like anyone you know?

Alan Quartermaine?

You guys are gonna need transportation and I've got an SUV that seats 8.  Well it's my wife's actually, but I have full use of it.  On weekends.

And one of the dark artifact related to Uwe'wood'andergoth could be called the Yew Bowl.

But for heavens sake, don't flush it!

I can craft service the crap outta this thing for you guys!  (can't be THAT hard to learn how to cook, right?)

"I've watched Hip Hop Locos thrice. I've seen the end of Super Hell 2 and can forsee the beginning of Super Hell 3. I have nothing left to live for, but trust me, I can buy you some time. Save yourselves."

You forgot about the part where the abomination leads an evil army ripped straight from the depths of hell.  ... "Hell" in this case simply meaning "some of the worst movies imaginable." 

Ah, but who would lead this 'army'...I can see Manos as the Commendant of B-stalag 13...but who is the Commander of such a rag tag band of heckraizers?

This man could stare into the face of death and laugh  :bouncegiggle:

I demand to have a nude scene. This is a horror movie, after all.

George Kennedy riding the Giant Claw.

Nazi Dracula riding a Tyrannosaurus. 

Played by Christopher Walken. 


And by that, I mean Walken could play either the dinosaur or the Nazi vampire.   

I think we need to fight the Imperial German steam zombies from SUCKER PUNCH.  RC can wear the school girl uniform!

Very well. Even the dead will return for this.

Members of the Army:

MANOS THE HANDS OF FATE

-The Master
-Torgo

IT CONQUERED THE WORLD

-Carrot Alien

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE

-All aliens and Zombies

THE GIANT CLAW

-Flying battleship Vulture

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE

-All of the cars, including the Green Goblin car

CASTLE OF FU MAN CHU

-Fu Man Chu with the might of Dracula

There goes the PG rating.

Ok, but only because you really want to see me naked...

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

I not only have a knowledge of them, I carry the damn things around with me.  :buggedout: :wink:

 :buggedout:+ :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:

Not if "PG" stands for "Pretty Gross."

I want a role as a guy who dies in a storm of machine-gun fire. It doesn't even have to be heroic. I have wanted that role in a movie for years now. Seriously. Seriously sad, I know...

Only one man can be the Minister of Propaganda for the evil army -ED WOOD JR!

Hows about a narrator? Or an obnoxious dj on the radio? Or that guy who plays the voice of the dispatcher on the cop car radio? Or a binders' assistant for the big newspaper scene? I know how to ride a motorcycle!

I can narrate. That ought to be a safe roll....

Alright, then... I'll be that one zombie that keeps looking at the camera.

Ah, finally, truth in advertising!   :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

That could be series all by itself!

Er.... I demand a role being somebodys pet t-rex

Nude scene? Oh god who's nude?!

Torgo!

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f4/John_reynolds_torgo.png/220px-John_reynolds_torgo.png)

Not a problem. The jeep in Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) was an 8-seater that held over 30 atheists in it.  :teddyr:

There's usually a town drunkard, and I call it now.

I wanna be any mad pilot that flies like a maniac and can't be trusted with anything else.

Well I guess his knees aren't the only thing disproportionately sized.  :bouncegiggle:

-raises hand- : D

I call dibs on being the narrator who rambles on about everything other then the movie.

Only in the Torgo voice.

This will be done. The Master would approve!  :teddyr: