Badmovies.org Forum

Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: A.J. Bauer on October 02, 2013, 05:19:42 PM



Title: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: A.J. Bauer on October 02, 2013, 05:19:42 PM
Write a terrible script for a movie!  But all of the characters have to be members of the forums!

A fool by the name of Andrew read a line from Necronomicon. This unleashed an eldritch abomination that lays waste to all it sees. To redeem himself and save the world Andrew collects a team of bad movie enthusiasts to seal the monster away.

Trevor - A film archivist with a knowledge of the worst and most obscure cinematic turds.
TrekGeezer - A hardcore Sci-Fi fan armed with a functional Star Trek phaser.
RC Merchant - A tough as nails vampire (Who drinks RC cola instead of blood) that can club fifty eldritch monsters with a baseball bat before he brushes his teeth.
Rev. Powell - A steadfast and stern leader of the group.
A.J. Bauer - A young college student with anger issues and a massive collection of My Little Pony fanfiction.
Indiana Smith - A daring archaeologist that is not to be confused with that other archaeologist.
LilCerberus - An expert spy who has only been caught ten times in one mission!
Jack - He drives the SUV on weekends. Without Jack the heroes couldn't operate at all! Thanks to Jack they're saving the world SAT-SUN! (Only 8 seats, everyone else gets stuffed in the trunk)
Derf - Torn apart by an SMG before the movie started.

Together they must use their combined knowledge to send the monster Uwe'wood'andergoth back to it's eternal prison under the deepest depths of Hollywood.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Flangepart on October 02, 2013, 05:23:43 PM
Uwe'wood'andergoth...

Sir, you have written your own Hackmaster/D&D monsterpedia entry.
  :tongueout:

The film opens in an abandoned movie theater...




Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: A.J. Bauer on October 02, 2013, 09:55:59 PM
Uwe'wood'andergoth was a joke on the weird long names H.P. Lovecraft would give to eldritch abominations.

The "goth" part coming from Shoggoth. The rest was the names if bad directors.

Uwe Boll, Ed Wood, Paul W.S. Anderson.

Sadly I forgot Michael Bay.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: LilCerberus on October 02, 2013, 10:00:17 PM
Can I be in it?
I'd make a great lurker whose disguise sticks out like a sore thumb!  :teddyr:


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: indianasmith on October 02, 2013, 10:58:50 PM
Your script needs a daring archaeologist/religious mystic who can dig for arrowheads, leap across narrow gorges, read ancient texts, understand Roman politics of the late Republic and early empire, and he needs to have very sexy nostrils.

Sound like anyone you know?


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: A.J. Bauer on October 02, 2013, 11:00:16 PM
Your script needs a daring archaeologist/religious mystic who can dig for arrowheads, leap across narrow gorges, read ancient texts, understand Roman politics of the late Republic and early empire, and he needs to have very sexy nostrils.

Sound like anyone you know?

Alan Quartermaine?


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Jack on October 03, 2013, 06:39:49 AM
You guys are gonna need transportation and I've got an SUV that seats 8.  Well it's my wife's actually, but I have full use of it.  On weekends.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: SynapticBoomstick on October 03, 2013, 08:05:37 AM
And one of the dark artifact related to Uwe'wood'andergoth could be called the Yew Bowl.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Flangepart on October 03, 2013, 08:13:31 AM
And one of the dark artifact related to Uwe'wood'andergoth could be called the Yew Bowl.
But for heavens sake, don't flush it!


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: JayJayM12 on October 03, 2013, 10:56:09 AM
I can craft service the crap outta this thing for you guys!  (can't be THAT hard to learn how to cook, right?)


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Doc Daneeka on October 03, 2013, 11:26:54 AM
"I've watched Hip Hop Locos thrice. I've seen the end of Super Hell 2 and can forsee the beginning of Super Hell 3. I have nothing left to live for, but trust me, I can buy you some time. Save yourselves."


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Chainsaw midget on October 03, 2013, 11:31:06 AM
Quote
This unleashed an eldritch abomination that lays waste to all it sees. To redeem himself and save the world Andrew collects a team of bad movie enthusiasts to seal the monster away.
You forgot about the part where the abomination leads an evil army ripped straight from the depths of hell.  ... "Hell" in this case simply meaning "some of the worst movies imaginable." 



Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Flangepart on October 03, 2013, 12:48:31 PM
Ah, but who would lead this 'army'...I can see Manos as the Commendant of B-stalag 13...but who is the Commander of such a rag tag band of heckraizers?


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Jack on October 03, 2013, 01:25:36 PM
"I've watched Hip Hop Locos thrice.

This man could stare into the face of death and laugh  :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Rev. Powell on October 03, 2013, 02:14:45 PM
I demand to have a nude scene. This is a horror movie, after all.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: SynapticBoomstick on October 03, 2013, 04:29:05 PM
Ah, but who would lead this 'army'...I can see Manos as the Commendant of B-stalag 13...but who is the Commander of such a rag tag band of heckraizers?

George Kennedy riding the Giant Claw.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Chainsaw midget on October 03, 2013, 04:39:31 PM
Ah, but who would lead this 'army'...I can see Manos as the Commendant of B-stalag 13...but who is the Commander of such a rag tag band of heckraizers?
Nazi Dracula riding a Tyrannosaurus. 

Played by Christopher Walken. 


And by that, I mean Walken could play either the dinosaur or the Nazi vampire.   


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: indianasmith on October 03, 2013, 08:04:04 PM
I think we need to fight the Imperial German steam zombies from SUCKER PUNCH.  RC can wear the school girl uniform!


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: A.J. Bauer on October 03, 2013, 08:33:16 PM
Quote
This unleashed an eldritch abomination that lays waste to all it sees. To redeem himself and save the world Andrew collects a team of bad movie enthusiasts to seal the monster away.
You forgot about the part where the abomination leads an evil army ripped straight from the depths of hell.  ... "Hell" in this case simply meaning "some of the worst movies imaginable." 



Very well. Even the dead will return for this.

Members of the Army:

MANOS THE HANDS OF FATE

-The Master
-Torgo

IT CONQUERED THE WORLD

-Carrot Alien

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE

-All aliens and Zombies

THE GIANT CLAW

-Flying battleship Vulture

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE

-All of the cars, including the Green Goblin car

CASTLE OF FU MAN CHU

-Fu Man Chu with the might of Dracula


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: bob on October 03, 2013, 09:53:23 PM
I demand to have a nude scene. This is a horror movie, after all.

There goes the PG rating.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Bushma on October 03, 2013, 10:29:56 PM
I demand to have a nude scene. This is a horror movie, after all.

Ok, but only because you really want to see me naked...


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Trevor on October 04, 2013, 01:21:07 AM
Trevor - A film archivist with a knowledge of the worst and most obscure cinematic turds.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

I not only have a knowledge of them, I carry the damn things around with me.  :buggedout: :wink:


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Trevor on October 04, 2013, 01:35:37 AM
I demand to have a nude scene. This is a horror movie, after all.

 :buggedout:+ :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Derf on October 04, 2013, 07:00:38 AM
I demand to have a nude scene. This is a horror movie, after all.

There goes the PG rating.

Not if "PG" stands for "Pretty Gross."

I want a role as a guy who dies in a storm of machine-gun fire. It doesn't even have to be heroic. I have wanted that role in a movie for years now. Seriously. Seriously sad, I know...


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Flangepart on October 04, 2013, 07:44:59 AM
Only one man can be the Minister of Propaganda for the evil army -ED WOOD JR!


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: LilCerberus on October 04, 2013, 09:57:53 AM
Hows about a narrator? Or an obnoxious dj on the radio? Or that guy who plays the voice of the dispatcher on the cop car radio? Or a binders' assistant for the big newspaper scene? I know how to ride a motorcycle!


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Pacman000 on October 06, 2013, 12:49:33 PM
I can narrate. That ought to be a safe roll....


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: LilCerberus on October 06, 2013, 01:05:51 PM
I can narrate. That ought to be a safe roll....

Alright, then... I'll be that one zombie that keeps looking at the camera.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Javakoala on October 06, 2013, 10:27:02 PM
I demand to have a nude scene. This is a horror movie, after all.

Ah, finally, truth in advertising!   :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Flangepart on October 07, 2013, 08:40:53 AM
I demand to have a nude scene. This is a horror movie, after all.

Ah, finally, truth in advertising!   :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
That could be series all by itself!


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: BakuryuuTyranno on October 10, 2013, 04:00:19 AM
Er.... I demand a role being somebodys pet t-rex


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: A.J. Bauer on October 19, 2013, 10:40:31 PM
Nude scene? Oh god who's nude?!


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: bob on October 20, 2013, 04:52:32 PM
Nude scene? Oh god who's nude?!


Torgo!

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f4/John_reynolds_torgo.png/220px-John_reynolds_torgo.png)


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: zelmo73 on October 20, 2013, 05:19:43 PM
You guys are gonna need transportation and I've got an SUV that seats 8.  Well it's my wife's actually, but I have full use of it.  On weekends.

Not a problem. The jeep in Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) was an 8-seater that held over 30 atheists in it.  :teddyr:


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: HappyGilmore on October 20, 2013, 08:10:26 PM
There's usually a town drunkard, and I call it now.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Flangepart on October 22, 2013, 08:00:51 AM
I wanna be any mad pilot that flies like a maniac and can't be trusted with anything else.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: A.J. Bauer on October 22, 2013, 03:16:11 PM
Nude scene? Oh god who's nude?!


Torgo!

([url]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f4/John_reynolds_torgo.png/220px-John_reynolds_torgo.png[/url])


Well I guess his knees aren't the only thing disproportionately sized.  :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: Kaseykockroach on October 23, 2013, 04:10:29 PM
-raises hand- : D


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: bob on October 23, 2013, 05:59:15 PM
I call dibs on being the narrator who rambles on about everything other then the movie.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: A.J. Bauer on October 24, 2013, 08:52:30 AM
I call dibs on being the narrator who rambles on about everything other then the movie.

Only in the Torgo voice.


Title: Re: BadMovies.org: The Movie
Post by: bob on October 24, 2013, 10:46:35 AM
I call dibs on being the narrator who rambles on about everything other then the movie.

Only in the Torgo voice.

This will be done. The Master would approve!  :teddyr: