Badmovies.org Forum

I actually wanted to like this movie.  I knew that many of my fellow evangelical Christians were deeply offended by it,
but at the same time, some of these folks are offended by Barney the Purple Dinosaur - teaches evolution to kids, you
know?  So despite all the negative reviews, I decided to give it a chance and judge for myself.  This evening my wife and
I sat and watched the whole thing.

Good Lord, what a train wreck!

First of all, from a Biblical point of view, it gets so much wrong that it's not even funny.  Noah's sons were all grown men,
and married. The ark was built, not only to save the animals, but to save the decent remnant of humanity.  While the Bible
does say that there were "giants in the earth in those days," it never calls them rock giants, nor does it indicate they were
fallen angels who helped redeem themselves by assisting Noah's construction project.  No stowaways on the ark either.
And Noah was not a psychotic human extinction advocate who tried to murder his own granddaughters, nor was he a kung
fu master eco-warrior!

But let's pretend I'm not a Christian and never read the Biblical account.  How was NOAH as a movie?
Not great.  The title character was unsympathetic, the voice of God was never heard once, the subplot with
King Tubal-Cain made little sense, and the timeline was hard to follow.  Overall, I was simply NOT impressed.
At all.

Maybe EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS will be better.  Christian Bale as Moses?  It's worth a shot.
I want to hear his Batman voice say "Let my people go!!" :teddyr:

Yeah as soon as I heard that God was destroying the earth not because humanity was sinful, but because they weren't eco-friendly, I wrote that one off completely.

Hollywood  :lookingup:

yeeps! Sounds like a Riff-fest fit for a bible study.

Yet, this man sticks by his guns about the glories of SUCKER PUNCH.

That, my friends, is a leap of faith greater than Noah's.   :teddyr:

(Sorry, Indy. It's been too long since I gave you flak about your favorite movie. The Debil made me do it!)

SUCKER PUNCH was more scriptural than this movie!!! LOL

My wife described NOAH as "a SyFy Original Bible Story."  I can't top that!

You need to quote her more often!

I actually was going to see this, when it came to the theater, but then I changed my mind, and from what is said here, I am glad that I did. Though, I might have liked it a bit more than anyone else here.

I think the problem with this type of film is trying to make a religious film for the masses, when the masses are not that religious, and what you get is "Noah." I think the makers of "Exodus : Gods and Kings" have the better idea, or, from what I understand of the film so far, is to make a film for the religious, then hope it appeals to the mass who are not religious.

And we shall see what we shall see.

I was so bored so quickly, had to turn it off

If EXODUS follows the formula that THE TEN COMMANDMENTS and PRINCE OF EGYPT used, it will be successful.
If it goes the path of NOAH, it will probably tank.

It's OK to add a few plot elements as long as you keep the beloved narrative intact and basically unaltered.
Come to think of it, someone needs to tell Peter Jackson that.

My lesson learned from this movie is this: only evil people eat meat and unless we co-exist with the environment global warming will kill us all.

THIS IS A DARREN ARONOFSKY FILM? I was quite happy to just let this die an obscure death, but sorry, WHAT? I didn't personally like his last two films but at least they weren't painfully bad. What the hell happened, 98-06 he made some of my most standout films ever. I actually had to double check this in the morning on imdb because it's so unbelievable. I had a theory a few years ago that after this film things would get good again (similar to my "every other windows OS is stable" theory) so who knows maybe the trash has peaked and we will get some epic oddity next.

Could be. Epic Oddity is what this site is about!

Thanks Indy,
 I probably wouldn't take the time to watch this, but now its even lost curiosity value.
-Ed