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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: akiratubo on August 07, 2014, 08:46:51 PM



Title: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: akiratubo on August 07, 2014, 08:46:51 PM
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*Flashback to early 1968, in the Daiei headquarters cafeteria.  Writer Nisan Takahashi walks in and spies director Noriaki Yuasa having a bowl of kimchi*

Nisan: Yo, Noriaki.  The suits want us to make another Gamera movie, since the last two were so profitable.

Noriaki: Cool.  Since we made so much money with those, they'll surely give us a HUGE budget this time!

Nisan: Uh, actually, they're not going to give us any money.  At all.

Noriaki: (spits out kimchi) What?!?!  But ... but ...

Nisan: Yeah, man, I dunno, either.  What can we do?

Noriaki: Well, I suppose we can put the focus almost entirely on the annoying little kids this time.  We can probably get them to work for free, they'll be so excited to be in a movie.

Nisan: Ok, ok.  That's good.  Ooh!  We can just re-use all of the monster footage from Barugon and Gaos.  Maybe the kids can be sitting around remembering all that stuff, or something.

Noriaki:  Yeah!  Great.  But that'll still only get us like 30 or 40 minutes, 50 tops.  Hey!  There's some leftover monster suit parts in the trash bin outside.  We can cobble them together into something for Gamera to fight for just long enough to get us to feature length.  And I think, maybe, we could steal some beach balls from the daycare, glue them together, and pass that off as a space ship.

Nisan:  Genius!  Let's get to work!  They told us we have to be finished by the end of business TODAY!

Noriaki: (another kimchi spit take)

*flash forward to the present day*

Gamera vs. Viras is every bit as bad as I've made it sound above.  Hell, it's worse!  Not only do they reuse 100% of the monster footage from the previous two movies, they even use most of the monster footage from the original Gamera -- and that movie was in black and white!  They just didn't give a s**t.

This movie's Kenny and his pal, White Kid (look, their names don't matter, it's Kenny and White Kid, always) are two of the worst Kenny and White Kids in all of kaiju-dom.  They sabotage a submersible that everyone in their Boy Scout troop was supposed to get a chance to drive so that only they will know how to drive it.  And for this bit of a***olery they are rewarded with an up close and personal visit from Gamera, a fun romp through a space ship, and a front-row seat for the final battle with the s**tty squid prop representing Viras.

There are two (2) good points in this movie.  1) the pre-credits battle between Gamera and the beach-ball ship is actually quite well done.  2) Vira's final attack on Gamera leaves a huge, bloody, spewing wound in Gamera's gut as long as the distance from his neck to his pelvis and as wide as the distance between his shoulder blades.  How Gamera survived that is anyone's guess, but he's a-ok as soon as the camera cuts away to the next shot.

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Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: Flangepart on August 08, 2014, 08:23:13 AM
E-yeah...kinda like finding out the hard way your Proctologist has a 'thing' for power tools.


Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: LilCerberus on August 09, 2014, 11:35:53 PM
I keep forgetting which one is "Attack Of The Monsters" & which one is "Destroy All Monsters"...


Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: JaseSF on August 10, 2014, 01:09:36 AM
Destroy All Monsters is a Godzilla film, Destroy All Planets is the English title for the Americanized version of this one.


Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: LilCerberus on August 10, 2014, 11:09:14 AM
Destroy All Monsters is a Godzilla film, Destroy All Planets is the English title for the Americanized version of this one.

Oh, okay! So, this one's "Destroy All Planets", & "Attack Of The Monsters" is the one with the two cute alien chicks & the monster with a knife for a nose that shoots throwing stars out of it's nostrils...

Thanks for clearing that up for me! :teddyr:
Now I need to figure out what "Destroy All Monsters" is.  :lookingup:


Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: Flangepart on August 11, 2014, 07:46:49 AM
DESTROY ALL MONSTERS is...infinatly better.


Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: daveblackeye15 on August 12, 2014, 01:37:19 PM
Yeah this one is pretty dry, I mean even Viras isn't that interesting compared to Barugon, Gyaos, Jiger, Guiron and even Zigra.

Gamera vs. Jiger was a step back in the right direction but really the only Showa Gamera movie I care about is Barugon.


Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: JoeTheDestroyer on August 16, 2014, 04:24:57 AM
Gamera vs. Viras is easily my least favorite Gamera movie. The fight between Gamera and Viras was pretty cool, but other than that the movie sucked.


Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: WingedSerpent on August 27, 2014, 07:36:09 PM
I like one of the moments prior to the final fight. It leads me into some interesting trains of thought. 

The lead Viras tells his underlings that he needs their lives in order to fight Gamera.  One pleads for their lives, before Viras takes their human heads off with one clean stroke.  The kids watching comment that Viras must have killed humans in order to posses their bodies.  Then the living aliens are drawn out of the husks and are absorbed by the leader.

First off, that seemed pretty dark to me.  Secondly, it showed that Viras may have been the most truly evil kaiju in movies.   While many kaiju are seem violent, many are just wild animals or are controlled by outside forces.  Think about it.  Two of Gamera's more infamous foes; Viras and Zigra are intelligent sentient creatures.  They talk, know how to pilot advance machines, and aren't controlled by anyone.  Zigra came to conquer Earth by himself, and just viewed humans as lower animals.  Viras murders his own crew without hesitation. 


Title: Re: Gamera vs. Viras
Post by: Flangepart on August 28, 2014, 07:46:24 AM
Yeah, Japanese 'kids' shows are known for the cheapness of human life. Dark, dark, dark, dark, dark...