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Other Topics => Off Topic Discussion => Topic started by: RCMerchant on December 06, 2014, 12:04:50 PM



Title: I kicked my son out.
Post by: RCMerchant on December 06, 2014, 12:04:50 PM
My son Eddie has been living in my apartment.I dont live there-he does. I have been living at Tiana's-He wont try and find a job-he smokes lots of pot and plays video games.When I try to go there the house is loaded with pot heads.I had the landlord warn me. I kicked him out. I just cant do it no more.
Am I a bad father?
If he dont get a boot in the ass of the REAL world...I dunno...I feel awful.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Rev. Powell on December 06, 2014, 12:18:25 PM
You're not a bad father. If you let him continue screwing up and covered for his ass, then you'd be being a bad father. Just let him know that you love him and that you'll be there for him---when he does the right things.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: RCMerchant on December 06, 2014, 12:31:27 PM
He said-"your not my family anymore I dont want to see you ever."
I feel really bad. I wanna cry.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: retrorussell on December 06, 2014, 12:57:21 PM
Sometimes when you've done all you can they need to just grow up on their own.  Let it go, be happy and live your own life.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Rev. Powell on December 06, 2014, 01:14:38 PM
He said-"your not my family anymore I dont want to see you ever."
I feel really bad. I wanna cry.

That sucks, but he's clearly immature. Not your fault, as long as you're doing what you think is right. Sucks to have your kid mad at you but you have to do what's best for him even if he doesn't like it. Sounds like he needs a good kick in the ass, I did too at that age.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Allhallowsday on December 06, 2014, 02:12:22 PM
So, the apartment is leased in your name, but who pays the rent? 


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Josso on December 06, 2014, 02:55:01 PM
You're not a bad father. If you let him continue screwing up and covered for his ass, then you'd be being a bad father. Just let him know that you love him and that you'll be there for him---when he does the right things.

Unless he gets worse through being kicked out, I guess it's a really tricky call. What do you do before that, intervention or something I guess. I live with my parents, I'm 23, smoke weed basically as self medication (I guess amounts here were not stated, so there's that... if you are on like 5g high grade a day there's no way you'll be motivated to do anything). Not being funny but if I had to live with RC on a family basis I'd probably have killed someone by now. My buddy has become full agoraphobic, does nothing but games & smoke, he used to smoke but less and produce near professional level music. BUT let's look at this from the other side, some people make careers out of video games.. I see twitch streams with crazily regular donations and subscriptions coming in when you do the maths it's a proper job nowadays, then there's people who make successful gaming channels work, it's still difficult but not outside the realms of possibility in 2014. So I guess this is all relative and "more information required" seems like a nice conclusion, but yeah that's just my 2 cents from someone over half the age of most people here. I feel like I'm not sure what the main issue was here, the pot smoking, the doing nothing or both... and I feel lie I'd have to investigate the reasons of why that is before really passing on any advice.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: VenomX73 on December 06, 2014, 03:01:58 PM
Sometimes when you've done all you can they need to just grow up on their own.

I agree


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: RCMerchant on December 06, 2014, 03:13:49 PM
So, the apartment is leased in your name, but who pays the rent? 
I pay the f**king rent-513 god dam dollars a month


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Allhallowsday on December 06, 2014, 04:14:45 PM
So, the apartment is leased in your name, but who pays the rent? 
I pay the f**king rent-513 god dam dollars a month
That's what I expected.  Why don't you give up your apartment and start helping Tiana pay her rent since you live there?  Perhaps you could get another apartment with both of you paying for one place. 
Since you're paying the rent, you did the right thing.  Tough, of course.  If your son is not willing to understand, he will hopefully grow up eventually. 


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: zombie no.one on December 06, 2014, 06:01:54 PM
He said-"your not my family anymore I dont want to see you ever."
I feel really bad. I wanna cry.
not to make assumptions, but I reckon there's a good chance he probably means the exact opposite

like you probably know when you smoke a lot of weed you lose perspective. I can automatically tell when my brother (who is an on-off weed smoker) is back 'on' it. he basically stops giving a s**t about anyone except himself. weed is not a life-or-death addiction drug, but it's a very selfish drug.  someone who is smoking it 24/7 probably needs that wakeup call, and I hope your son sorts himself out. there's only so much you should be expected to tolerate IMO




Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: lester1/2jr on December 06, 2014, 06:48:54 PM
pot and video games are a deadly combination in terms of proactive behaviors. better to be a crack head and UFO cultist or something. actually, no it's not


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Allhallowsday on December 06, 2014, 07:04:14 PM
...
Unless he gets worse through being kicked out, I guess it's a really tricky call. What do you do before that, intervention or something I guess. I live with my parents, I'm 23, smoke weed basically as self medication (I guess amounts here were not stated, so there's that... if you are on like 5g high grade a day there's no way you'll be motivated to do anything). Not being funny but if I had to live with RC on a family basis I'd probably have killed someone by now. My buddy has become full agoraphobic, does nothing but games & smoke, he used to smoke but less and produce near professional level music. BUT let's look at this from the other side, some people make careers out of video games.. I see twitch streams with crazily regular donations and subscriptions coming in when you do the maths it's a proper job nowadays, then there's people who make successful gaming channels work, it's still difficult but not outside the realms of possibility in 2014. So I guess this is all relative and "more information required" seems like a nice conclusion, but yeah that's just my 2 cents from someone over half the age of most people here. I feel like I'm not sure what the main issue was here, the pot smoking, the doing nothing or both... and I feel lie I'd have to investigate the reasons of why that is before really passing on any advice.

You, my friend, are hardly "...over half the age of most people here...".   :smile:


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Rev. Powell on December 06, 2014, 07:47:10 PM
You're not a bad father. If you let him continue screwing up and covered for his ass, then you'd be being a bad father. Just let him know that you love him and that you'll be there for him---when he does the right things.

Unless he gets worse through being kicked out, I guess it's a really tricky call. What do you do before that, intervention or something I guess. I live with my parents, I'm 23, smoke weed basically as self medication (I guess amounts here were not stated, so there's that... if you are on like 5g high grade a day there's no way you'll be motivated to do anything). Not being funny but if I had to live with RC on a family basis I'd probably have killed someone by now. My buddy has become full agoraphobic, does nothing but games & smoke, he used to smoke but less and produce near professional level music. BUT let's look at this from the other side, some people make careers out of video games.. I see twitch streams with crazily regular donations and subscriptions coming in when you do the maths it's a proper job nowadays, then there's people who make successful gaming channels work, it's still difficult but not outside the realms of possibility in 2014. So I guess this is all relative and "more information required" seems like a nice conclusion, but yeah that's just my 2 cents from someone over half the age of most people here. I feel like I'm not sure what the main issue was here, the pot smoking, the doing nothing or both... and I feel lie I'd have to investigate the reasons of why that is before really passing on any advice.

RC said "I had the landlord warn me," so it's not innocent behavior. If you're able to make a living playing video games and smoking pot without bothering anyone else, then no one cares. But why should RC pay for his son to be a nuisance to others? 


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: HappyGilmore on December 06, 2014, 08:27:19 PM
You're not a bad father. If you let him continue screwing up and covered for his ass, then you'd be being a bad father. Just let him know that you love him and that you'll be there for him---when he does the right things.
I second this.  This is essentially what I was going to post.  So..

But yeah, you're not a bad father.  Did the right thing here. 


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Josso on December 06, 2014, 09:10:08 PM
...
Unless he gets worse through being kicked out, I guess it's a really tricky call. What do you do before that, intervention or something I guess. I live with my parents, I'm 23, smoke weed basically as self medication (I guess amounts here were not stated, so there's that... if you are on like 5g high grade a day there's no way you'll be motivated to do anything). Not being funny but if I had to live with RC on a family basis I'd probably have killed someone by now. My buddy has become full agoraphobic, does nothing but games & smoke, he used to smoke but less and produce near professional level music. BUT let's look at this from the other side, some people make careers out of video games.. I see twitch streams with crazily regular donations and subscriptions coming in when you do the maths it's a proper job nowadays, then there's people who make successful gaming channels work, it's still difficult but not outside the realms of possibility in 2014. So I guess this is all relative and "more information required" seems like a nice conclusion, but yeah that's just my 2 cents from someone over half the age of most people here. I feel like I'm not sure what the main issue was here, the pot smoking, the doing nothing or both... and I feel lie I'd have to investigate the reasons of why that is before really passing on any advice.

You, my friend, are hardly "...over half the age of most people here...".   :smile:

 :bouncegiggle: LOL yeah, particularly sleep deprived post that


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Allhallowsday on December 07, 2014, 01:23:18 AM
...
Unless he gets worse through being kicked out, I guess it's a really tricky call. What do you do before that, intervention or something I guess. I live with my parents, I'm 23, smoke weed basically as self medication (I guess amounts here were not stated, so there's that... if you are on like 5g high grade a day there's no way you'll be motivated to do anything). Not being funny but if I had to live with RC on a family basis I'd probably have killed someone by now. My buddy has become full agoraphobic, does nothing but games & smoke, he used to smoke but less and produce near professional level music. BUT let's look at this from the other side, some people make careers out of video games.. I see twitch streams with crazily regular donations and subscriptions coming in when you do the maths it's a proper job nowadays, then there's people who make successful gaming channels work, it's still difficult but not outside the realms of possibility in 2014. So I guess this is all relative and "more information required" seems like a nice conclusion, but yeah that's just my 2 cents from someone over half the age of most people here. I feel like I'm not sure what the main issue was here, the pot smoking, the doing nothing or both... and I feel lie I'd have to investigate the reasons of why that is before really passing on any advice.

You, my friend, are hardly "...over half the age of most people here...".   :smile:

 :bouncegiggle: LOL yeah, particularly sleep deprived post that
Kicking one's son out is never funny. 


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: A_Dubya on December 07, 2014, 02:14:49 AM
pot and video games are a deadly combination in terms of proactive behaviors. better to be a crack head and UFO cultist or something. actually, no it's not

As long as you use it moderately it's ok. There are some days I don't smoke at all, or even turn on the system to play anything.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: RCMerchant on December 07, 2014, 04:20:46 AM
Im a drunk-I dont have a issue with him smoking pot-I have an issue with him SELLING pot-and not paying rent and turning my house into a hangout for potheads.
I buy his groceries-which is fine-except all his pot head freinds eat it.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Josso on December 07, 2014, 09:44:55 AM
Im a drunk-I dont have a issue with him smoking pot-I have an issue with him SELLING pot-and not paying rent and turning my house into a hangout for potheads.
I buy his groceries-which is fine-except all his pot head freinds eat it.


OH, ok yeah, that's not cool.. selling drugs in your property makes you liable (probably), it does here at least. Pretty much the only place that is a legit career to follow is the Netherlands. I understand your position now

Quote from: Allhallowsday
Kicking one's son out is never funny.


(http://i.imgur.com/Y0oFlYG.gif)


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: RCMerchant on December 07, 2014, 07:25:01 PM
And I let him move back in today. :lookingup:
Imma dick.


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Allhallowsday on December 07, 2014, 08:13:42 PM
And I let him move back in today. :lookingup:
Imma dick.
No.  You're a dope.  Love makes us do dopey things, things that may not be good for ourselves or the ones we love.  We all just want to be loved. 


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: 316zombie on December 08, 2014, 03:30:14 PM
RC, i know this story cover to cover. my sister lived it with one of her twins for many years. and she heard "you aren't my mother" a jillion times, along with" i didn't ask to be born", " it's YOUR fault i'm bipolar", " how could you throw me out when i have a son who'll end up homeless!", etetcetc...
it finally came to a head 3 years ago, when the other twin had her first child and threw her sister out. my sister refused to let her move back in, took custody of her grandson until his dad got back from iraq and went to court with his dad so he now has full custody.
not even this was enough for trissy to stay on her meds , get a decent job and straighten up her life.
the family now has ZERO contact with her, and the courts decided she can't see her son either, which IS what's best for him.
it's still very hard for all of us, but we all had to decide that she's a grownup and we HAVE to take care of ourselves and her son. we will always love her, but she can't be allowed to ruin or lives, you know? and certainly not her son's, he's a really smart kid and deserves a great life, which he has with his dad.
we DON'T like her at all, even with the familial love thing. we hope that someday she'll straighten up, but at 26, it's hard to stay hopeful.
i hope you're prepared to toss him out again,because it may be necessary. don't put yourself through the cycle of pain my sister did, okay?


Title: Re: I kicked my son out.
Post by: Ed, Ego and Superego on December 08, 2014, 03:50:54 PM
RC you did what you had to do.  You are not in the "Running Shelter For Your Sons Pothead Friends" business.  To keep it up would be to abet his lifestyle. 
  Your name is on the lease, and anything they do will be your problem.  23 is a self centered age, and pot (as said above) is a self centered drug. 
When I was 23 my grandmother sat me down and firmlytold that all the males of my family were younger than me when they fought in WWII... commandos in jungle fighting, died in tank battles, led men in battle, paratroopers the lot of them (about 16, it was a big family).  And I had no business whining about how life was hard.
-Ed