Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Squishy on February 19, 2001, 08:51:00 AM

Title: Schwa-chan! Funny Commercials
Post by: Squishy on February 19, 2001, 08:51:00 AM
No, I don't have a cold, that's what they call Arnold Schwartznegger in Japan. (Not in his presence, of course.)

Back in the early Nineties, Schwa-chan made a series of TV commercials in Japan in which he played a genie that whooshes out of a "health-drink" bottle, his hair moussed straight up, gold coins exploding out of his chest as he roars with scary, scary laughter.

I understand one or two websites actually had these commercials available, but were shut down by

Anybody know where I might find the things? He haunts my nightmares; I must face the demon-genie and end the torment.

(P.S. Lotsa sites now carry downloadable commercials, such as, and you can keep the really funny ones [like the SuperFriends doing the "Wasssssup!" routine]. If you love the wresting AFLAC duck commercial--I almost lose bladder control every time I see the end of it--y'can peg that one at the AFLAC home site. [, dur!])

Title: Re: Schwa-chan! Funny Commercials
Post by: Mighty Atomic Pikachu on February 20, 2001, 07:17:53 AM
AIEeeeEEeeeEEE!!!! Thanks for bringing that up, Squishy. Now I'LL have nightmares about it.

Seriously, how did you happen to find these?

Oh, those crazy Japanese...

Title: Re: Schwa-chan!
Post by: Squishy on February 21, 2001, 05:04:12 AM
--Schwa-chan, The Lipotan-V Genie

...he kinda looked like the "Slim Jim" meanie ("Eat me!!"), but was much more buff (of course) and less violent. The twist-off cap unscrewed, and out came Schwa-chan on a cloud, spraying twirling, superimposed coins, with his clenched fists raised triumphantly, laughing...laughing... He wasn't violent, but he was still damned scary. He flashed the "V-sign" at the camera, shouting "Dai-joh-V!!!" ("Daijohbu" is Japanese for "in good health.")

In other commercials, he was even gentle: in one, a little boy is sitting in the snowy slush next to a wrecked bicycle, sniffling over a scraped knee; a huge shadow falls over him. In the next shot, Schwartznegger (still in the Genie get-up, complete with mousse) is carrying him home, cradled in his arms, softly singing him a lullabye, the bike effortlessly hung over his shoulder. That's the whole thing. In another, the Genie soars through the sunset-reddened skies at high speed on his cloud, singing a Japanese love-song to the ninety-year-old lady he is embracing and kissing on the cheek.

So weird.

Then disaster struck. The commercials turned "normal." The genie got a girl sidekick, some pop-idol at the time I think, stood around talking about the product and the whole concept died horribly ON THE SPOT. I swear you could hear it crying for mercy as it bled to death.

I was stationed in Japan at the time. I was just watching a little local TV when this stuff leapt out at me, bellowing "AH, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" I've never been quite the same since.

Would you?

(Lipotan-V, by the way, was just caffine and flavored water.)

Title: Re: Schwa-chan!
Post by: peter johnson on February 22, 2001, 12:09:52 PM
What's even odder about this is in England, SCHWA, is a trademarked insignia for parodiac (is that a word?) anti-Grey Alien merchandise.  Look on & link to bluesnake merchandise.  Hell, go to bluesnake simply because it's damn weird --