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My cousin is coming to visit. A cousin who I've not met in a long time. I don't remember what he looks like only what he did.

I think rapists are some of the most disgusting humans imaginable. Child rapists are even worse, the thought of harming a child and scarring them for life.

An incestuous rapist is even worse since the child will trust them only to be betrayed.

Now imagine if you will that same cousin raped your sister when she was eight.

I suppose Mom has forgiven him. After his father, her brother drank himself to death she wanted to repair that bridge and be on good terms with her nephew. I suppose I can understand her desire. She asked me to be civil and civil I shall be.

I shall give him the courtesy of not stabbing him when he comes through the door.

My sister suffers from neurological issues that are slowly killing her. Issues that were caused by her trauma. He betrayed the trust of my family and ruined a little girl's life just for a few minutes of sexual pleasure.

If my mother thinks I'm going to show him respect she's dead f**king wrong.

This visit is a TERRIBLE idea. I believe in forgiveness and all that but we are only human. I'd say skip it if you can bro

He's coming to my house. I will stay downstairs and say nothing to him.

My words are too good for him.

Mom had me shovel the walkway.

Wouldn't want him to slip and crack his skull open.

That would be tragic.

Mom and Angie are fighting. This is the nastiest one yet.

I can't even believe these people. They always argue.

You don't want him to slip... and NOT crack his skull open.  That would be tragic.

My throat burns, my hand hurts, and I'm covered in tears.

I have never yelled louder in my life. Angie just kept going and going. She refuses to back down from an argument. She always has to have the last word. Emotions have never been so high until now.

I don't know what to do. It's all his fault too, if he never raped her maybe she wouldn't be like this. I can't stop the tears, I curled into a fetal position and screamed to drown her out. I feel like a child.

And this f**king argument started because Angie refused to clean the kitchen.

I can't take much more. I feel like I'm going to break.

I've calmed down. Man.

This has been an unpleasant day and he's not even here yet.

I am sorry you are having to go through this.
Was he ever held to any legal account for his crime?

couldn't hurt to just go to the bar

Prison. I don't remember for how long. Over a decade I believe.

They say pedophiles don't survive in prison but of course this one did.

I live in the middle of the woods. I have no transport.

pedophiles are actually more or less coddled in prison. kept safe and not given any treatment whatsoever.


It's revolting. Iran knows what to do with those people

I have no idea what to say, except that I feel for you, and hope this ends as soon as possible. Feel free to vent here. That's what friends are for.

He's here.

He had the balls to talk to me. I said nothing, I concentrated on not decking him.

The rapist has left the building.

Surprisingly not in seven assorted trash bags.

I'm glad you got through it.
Killing people can be emotionally satisfying, but rarely worth the trouble that ensues thereafter. :wink:

Forgive me for chiming in so late but I think your mother is in desperate need of counselling.

The visit is over and you made it through.  Good on you for dealing with a difficult situation in a survivable fashion.

I hope she got some sort of ....something from it because from here it seems like the whole thing was very pointless torture.

I mean, if you were a Holocaust survivor would you have Hitler over for tea? there's plenty of other healthy things to do in this world

You should have invited me over and pointed this motherf****r out to me: I would have brought along a rusty knife and my cricket bat.  :hatred: :hatred:

IMO there are ways to abdicate from the human race.  Rape and child abuse foremost among them.

The absolute best I can do toward a 'person' who has commited either is to dismiss them as failed humans: as refuse.  Our behaviour towards others makes us 'human', not our biology.  Just because you are walking around in human shape does not make you a 'person' who is entitled to the considerations one gives a human being.  Legally, yes.  Otherwise - forget it.  I'd give more consideration to the barnyard dirt I scrape off my boots.

We all had a conversation over Skip-Bo after he left.

He was tolerable on a social level but I could tell people were uncomfortable. I told Mom that I still hate him and she understands.

My sister was especially uncomfortable.

Mom told me afterwards that Chris said to her that he understood that I don't want to deal with him so he avoided me because he didn't want to invade my space.

It doesn't matter. I want nothing to do with him. No amount of time can heal those wounds.

You don't get to rape my sister and be my friend.

Of course people were uncomfortable!  Expecting anything otherwise is not only UNreasonable, it is flat-out insane.
And anybody in their right mind would expect your sister to be anything BUT "comfortable"!   :buggedout:

I'm sorry, A.J., I know my ranting is not helping at all.   The circumstances you have to deal with are horrendous.

Actually it's kind of comforting.

He may return to stay for the weekend. I'll tolerate him.
But if I find his wallet... Hehe. Well, never mind that.

Why on earth would your mother invite him over if the girl he raped as a child is still living in the home?
I simply can't fathom her reasoning.  It can't be anything but pure torment for your sister! I think you both
ought to move out!

I'm with Indy on this one: this doesn't seem like a healthy arrangement at all.

I for one think its possible to rehabilitate and get a second chance even after such horridness, but that definitely doesn't have to come from the victims, even if they are family! The idea that he'll be staying in the same house with his previous victim, especially one that seems to still have issues from it cannot be a good idea in any possible reality.

Sorry, I know this must be a tough situation and I'm just some random mug on the internet, but I hope you make through this craziness alright.

Above all, forgiveness is greatest. 

I do not believe that that means that anyone is worthy of forgiveness.  Contrition is everything. 

I wish I could say something that could make things better, or even help a little but there just aren't any words. I can't even describe how angry people like your cousin make me. I just wanted to say though, that I really respect how much inner strength it must have taken not to leave him in a bloody pile somewhere.

Apologies AJ but I am now f*****g angry!  :hatred: :hatred:

I would kill this SOB if I ever ran into him: he does not deserve to live and share the same air as we do - if I ever met my biological parents, they would get more of the same. :hatred:

This!  WHO invites a rapist to stay in the HOME of their victim and thinks that is a GOOD thing???  She is being raped all over again IMO. The monster is invited and welcome in her HOME - so nowhere is safe.   I cannot imagine how awful that must be: the feeling of utter helplessness.   Your mother is a very sick woman.  She needs help and you two need to get OUT.

eta:  And to insist that your sister clean the kitchen in order to welcome your cousin like an honoured guest - !   Wow.  THAT is severely twisted.  The message your mother is sending to your sister is 1) he is more important than she is 2) she deserved what he did and/or 3) that her mother does not believe it happened.   Something is very very wrong there.

What Newt said.  :thumbup: :thumbup:

Leave. Leave now, and find a safe place.

Thanks for the support but please don't say things like that about my mother. As I recall he's only in Minnesota for the home and garden show. Mom wanted to see him while he was in town. I wouldn't call her a sick woman and I'm not mad at her for bringing him here. She didn't bring a rapist to the house just to torment Angie.

I guess she wants things to be the way they were before the rape. But no matter how well we get along with him I'll always look at him with contempt.

I'm going to tell Mom that he's not welcome a second time.

Yikes! What a nightmare!


Please do!  Whatever good intentions your mother has, she needs to know that it is not her place to forgive your cousin - it is your sister's.  Even if your sister does forgive him, it should be her decision whether or not he stays.  I don't believe forgiving him needs to include allowing or welcoming him back into your lives.

Good point. I think I'll talk to Angie in private first.

This is what I love about this forum: Despite our vast differences in philosophy, religion, and even taste in movies,
when one of our members is hurting, we are ALL there for him or her.  That is what family should be about, and I
am proud to be a member here. :cheers:

A.J., you handled this with class and grace that I doubt I would have.  Glad it's over for now and I hope you are
never put in this situation again.

I just found this. You handled the situation with much more restraint then I ever would've been able to.

I dint see this thread-this is my first viewing-my God-AJ-your a better man then me-I'm with Trev -I would have killed him-regardless of the circumstances. Filthy evil souless scumbags. His dying would make my imprisonment or death worth it. I would have at least beat the living s**t outta him.
I aint afraid of death myself-and some people SHOULD  die-thats just common knowledge.

I guess I he's coming back no matter what. UPS just dropped off twelve boxes of I don't even know what. All I know is that he "sells high-tech equipment" and the boxes are s**t he's selling at the home and garden show.

It's taking up a lot of space in the garage.

If hes moving in-you need to get the f**k OUT. I live in Michigan-You can crash at my house for a while. Im serious.

Even my Mom knows better than that.

Besides, every time we let someone move in it didn't end well. Chris' father, my uncle Randy moved in once with one stipulation: he was not to ever get drunk in our house.

He broke that rule in less than a week. He moved back to Phoenix and drank himself to death.

Mom and Chris became buddies at the funeral I guess. Randy's kids were her entire world back when we lived in Colorado. But after what he did we moved out. What he did was heinous but at least he confessed. Grandma suggested Mom trained Angie to say she was raped and even payed for Chris' lawyer.

Mom and Grandma were always on bad terms but this was the match that burned the bridge down. The next time I saw her she was in a casket. I wish I could bring her back for a few seconds just for her to hear my last goodbye.

"Rot in hell, you old c**t."

I guess Mom asked Angie first if it was okay for Chris to stay for dinner. She said yes. That's why Mom allowed this meeting.

He will return for his crap tomorrow. After that I won't see him again. At least not for the foreseeable future.

Thanks, guys. It was nice to have words of support, but I don't think he'll be back for a while.

I can't put in to words how much it means to me. Again, thanks.

 :cheers:

Just one final thing: the stuff he left in your garage. I was going to suggest I have some gasoline and a few matches for that. :wink:

Ha. He already picked them up. Doesn't really matter either way, he probably won't be back.
I still wish I could have found his wallet, though.