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Title: Deep Into the Darkness (2014) Post by: akiratubo on March 07, 2015, 10:42:47 PM :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:
This movie is s**t! A New York doctor moves into a small town with his wife and kid. Things there seem nice, except that his neighbor wants him to sacrifice an animal on a flat rock in the woods surrounding the town. His wife starts spending an awful lot of time at church. Most troublingly, a teenage girl staggers into his driveway with her guts torn out. Someone moves the body while the doctor goes to call the sheriff, then the body later turns up on a road in the middle of town. The sheriff rules it an accident. Well, maybe that isn't the most troubling thing. The most troubling thing is probably the squad of MUTANT, SUBTERRANEAN CAVEMEN WITH GLOWING EYES who abduct the doctor from his home in the middle of the night and force him to do a c-section on one of their women. Turns out the townspeople worship the cavemen and blah blah blah you can guess it all from here. Sounds at least minimally exciting, doesn't it? No! HELL no! The running time, according to the time counter at the bottom of my screen, was 1:41. It felt more like three, maybe four hours. Yargh! Everything is almost as cheap and amateurish as an Andreas Schnass movie. In fact, I'd much rather watch Violent s**t 2 than this damn thing again. (Forced to choose between Deep Into the Darkness and the original Violent s**t, I'd eat a cyanide capsule.) I can just imagine how excited the cast and crew must have been to start working, only to sink into despair when they realized the budget was what the producer saved from not paying his kid's allowance for a couple weeks. The final kick in the ass was the "twist" at the end, which made me extend my middle finger at the screen and tell the movie what it could go do with itself. :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: |