Badmovies.org Forum

I rubbed my left eye this morning and it sounded like a Geiger Counter.

I have a notepad at work where I scribble down notes all going in random directions when people call me as I'll only forget anything important they say. One day in the far future some archaeologist is going to find it and make a lot of wrong conclussions about how we lived.

Last night I dreamed I was driving what I thought was an electric car. Turned out it wasn't, so I had to put some gas in the tank. There was a little white doggie riding shotgun, by the way.

So this octopus was complaining about humans using base 10 for the number system, and a squid wheeled by on a hoverboard, yelled 'HAH!" and drove away laughing.

All I want to do is dang a long ding my ding dang dang a long.
-Ed

     Alex Trebek has no upper lip.

Alex Trebek's mustache emigrated to Poland to be near sausage.

I think my thumb is getting larger . . .

Gotta clean out the car tomorrow.

All of you actually should care about this statement: I have clean undies on today.

How long they'll stay that way is another matter entirely :buggedout: :wink:

Why do some ice cubes fall out of the tray in one piece, while others splinter into fragments?

I exist (which, sadly, few people care about). Aaaaaaaaand now I'm depressed...  :lookingup: :tongueout:

We care.  :smile:

I like stories.

Mungo Jerry did a song about the end of summer. It too, sucked.

I feel like fish are an integral part of great art.

I want wind chimes that can actually destroy potted plants with sonic vibrations.

I really don't see how the AT8533 power module is supposed to work, unless it's not really a power module, but an XLR adaptor...

That red-haired girl at CVS looked bored stacking competing brands of pregnancy tests.

I want a torpedo boat, a monster to attack with it, and a hot chick to cheer me on. No, I don't care if everyone else wants that.

The noise from the building site across the road from my office is p**sing me off.

The smell from the Crematory next door is making me hungry.

The airplanes are flying a bit lower than usual over my house.

I shaved my face.
Now I'm cold.

My ass smells like s**t.
No-really-I leaned over to tie my shoes-I could smell my own ass-I had been drinking for 2 days without a shower-I could smell my own funk.

Now where are the 5/8" bolts?

I'm washing all my dirty white socks. From the looks of the water I'm gonna have to run them through the washer at least one more time. For some reason I thought about Trevor and his underpants. Hello, Trevor!

I was on the CHFB-and Tom Weaver callled Bela Lugosi Bela Drugosi-that p**sed me off and I pulled his card on it. :hatred:

Good for you!

I've always liked Tom but he can be a real jerk.

Sometimes I wonder if her actually likes horror movies!

This one time when I was a kid this guy stopped at a local restaurant and everybody thought he was Tony Orlando. He  signed autographs as "Tony Orlando" and even got his picture in the paper under the headline "TONY ORLANDO HAS BREAKFAST AT REID'S RESTAURANT!".

Turns out it wasn't Tony Orlando but some fake Tony Orlando. As far as I know the fake Tony Orlando is still on the loose - perhaps in YOUR town . . .

Last night, I was listening to Boom Boom by Trio, when I heard an explosion off in the distance... :buggedout:

Gotta change the filter on the furnace.

How can I NOT care about the possibility that a fake Tony Orlando may be on the loose in my town? *shudder*

I have to clean my shoes.

I finally defeated "Rare Akuma" in M.U.G.E.N. with a melee-attack only character.

Rare Akuma is the green-clothed man that shoots a ton of skulls.
! No longer available (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P4nr53_WwE#)

If randomness reaches infinity, will we notice it, or just keep playing the lottery?

I need to rotate my tires.

I keep thinking 1984 was made in 1986...
I think I saw 1984 in 1985...

The emergency sprill must be released . . . but do not unfasten your safety belts!!!!

I brought my own mike.

When the cat's away, the mice will play, because they hired the Doberman next door as a bouncer.

My local Ford dealer's service is inadequate.

I keep hearing that intro to Christmas In Hollis by Run-DMC, and it's not helping my DTs!
They cut out the lyrics, so for some reason, I keep expecting Falco to come in & start rapping...
Either that, or I expect it to segueway into Yes by Morphine...

My wife was seeing her best friend off this morning to the airport so I didn't get my usual hugs before leaving for work.

The candy bars are blooming like honey blurbs of azure wabblestock.

Just be glad these people are not anywhere near you:  :buggedout: :buggedout:

www.carservicecity.net (http://www.carservicecity.net): messed up my previous car big time and took Mom's car for a thirty mile joy ride.  :thumbdown:

When paranoids meet each other, do they suddenly feel secure?

RIP Meadowlark Lemon

It seems that I woke up again this morning. I hope to break this habit someday.

When you get a haircut, it pays to cut a whole bunch of 'em! All at once!

RIP Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead

I'm planning my first underground lair. What carpet should I buy, fire proof or fire absorbent?

Armadillos only  give birth to identical quadruplets.

YUP!
https://www.vice.com/read/richmond-100-guide-dc-richmond (https://www.vice.com/read/richmond-100-guide-dc-richmond)

Crows have regional accents and dialects.

How many puddle-jumpers could a puddle-jumper jump if a puddle-jumper could jump puddles?

I thought that I did, but on second thought, I guess I didn't.

Armadillos are know carriers of leprosy. When annoyed or provoked they can even spit leprosy-laden loogies right in your face.

In other news: There has been a rash of leprosy cases in Florida.

http://www.newsweek.com/spitting-armadillos-blamed-floridas-emerging-leprosy-problem-356823 (http://www.newsweek.com/spitting-armadillos-blamed-floridas-emerging-leprosy-problem-356823)

Without my glasses, I first read this as CLOWNS have regional accents and dialects. Which, I suppose, is also true.

The other day, my wife and I stopped at a convenience store for a bathroom break, and when we returned to the car, a dog had peed on the tire.

How about instead of "dropping the ball", we "raise the bar"?

RIP Wayne Rogers

Just bought a Vivitar 410 for selfies & STAs, & found that lighting is a bigger issue than I expected...

I saw an arrowhead-shaped poop this week . . .  :teddyr:

Does this mean Trevor is stockpiling weapons?

Trevor's undies are already weapons of ass destruction...

As long it is contained in the rear,we wont have a turd front!  :lookingup:

 :buggedout: +  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:

 :buggedout: +  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

My a$$ knows all about it, believe me  :wink:

TREVOR...the butt of one joke, and he's okay with that.

Indeed.  :teddyr: :thumbup:

Based on the state of his undies, I think he was so upset that he s**t a brick.  :bouncegiggle:

every country should burn down its Saudi embassy

I got in my first Twitter War tonight! :teddyr:

That's why I had problems driving to work this morning  :wink:

A happy Elvis Presley's birthday to all!

I found a hunka hunka burnin' love on my lawn. It burns blue, like methane.

The sound of my toilet running keeps me awake at night.

This happened when I was in High School in 1980

http://youtu.be/eE7PXGrRup0 (http://youtu.be/eE7PXGrRup0)

that tornado hit us in Lawton before it hit Kzoo.
Me and Rick Specht jumped in his 68 Ford and headed for the swamps! The low ground.
We were really drunk on my neighbors homemade wine-and we did that before we went to class-out in the parking lot-we usta smoke and drink.
The tornado hit and me and Rick jumped in his truck and booked.

If I had a terrarium for a lizard, yes it would have tanks and army men in it.

I care about almost 40% of the statements posted on this thread.

I hear Kanye West has another album.

I hear, and care not. Of the Sith he is.

I made the final payment on my trip to Israel today!  Come March 9, I am Tel Aviv bound!!! :cheers:

Got room for a South African in your luggage? ;)

Well, this thread is about making a statement about SOMETHING NOBODY SHOULD CARE ABOUT. Can't imagine anyone caring about Kanye and his albums. I don't.

Am I misunderstanding the point of this thread?

No, sir, you are not misunderstanding. And for the record, I care not that Flangepart cares not about caring that others care not about Kanye West's new album. Now if ADAM West were to come out with an album, then I might care.

Then again, sometimes you can get rid of a bomb.

For the second time in my life, I bought a lottery ticket today.

Somebody around town has been stealing people's dogs for a week or so, then bringing them back... :question: :thumbdown: :question:

I am switching to wearing panties this year  :buggedout: :wink:

briefs
--classic
--high-cut
--control
hipsters
boyshorts
bikini
tanga
--thong
--G-string

And let's not talk about material, but . . .?!

Materials
--cotton
--lace
--latex
--leather
--lycra
--mesh
--nylon
--polyester
--PVC
--rawhide
--satin
--silk
--or tooth floss, if someone gets hungry.

And, if you want a tip to be hip, then check out Lady Sylvia Marsh's (Amanda Donohoe) in "Lair of the White Worm's" fashion sense.

Yes, but are you going for comfort or for style?

I'd recommend comfort and, in your case, cotton. Nothing worse than skid marks on nylon tricot.
 :buggedout:

No one liked Lindsey graham why would anyone care who he endorsed? The press baffles me

The problem with reality, as I see it, is the inconsistency.

The company just spent days reseeding some property next to my offce and now the birds have eaten it all.

So, corrupt former Gov Bob McDonnell & murderer Ricky Gray get new appeals on the some day. What's the word I'm looking for; That thing Pontius Pilate did? :question:

Bruce Jenner was a great athlete. decathalon you do ten things and he was better at it than anyone else in the world

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decathlon

Day 1

    100 metres
    Long jump
    Shot put
    High jump
    400 metres

   

Day 2

    110 metres hurdles
    Discus throw
    Pole vault
    Javelin throw
    1500 metres

I'm a crawling kingsnake and I rule my den!

TMI, Indie. TMI.   :twirl:

Based on today's performance I have a ways to go before I roll my way into the semis.

Rejoice, the quest may bring happiness.

it should be Make A Random Statement About Something Nobody Ought Care About

'If you will it, it is no dream," Theodor Herzl.

Pouring battery acid on kittens is just mean.

A rose in a cow pasture  is still a rose, just watch your step.

And never step on a pregnant alligator!

Anybody else ever notice that impersonators tend to get Moe Howard's hair wrong?

The Mugwump is a lumpy beast, a living fleshy stump.
Pale, round and noisy too, a lot like Donald Trump.

Ice just doesn't have that same crunch it used to have in 1979.

I got my shipment of books in today! Fully stocked and ready to do some more book signings!

I wonder if they'd let me market "meat jerky" called Not Soylent Green?

I keep seeing some car ad, where they play Eminence Front by The Who.... :question: :question: :question: Are they saying, "It's a put on"????? :question: :question: :question:

Since starting a challange last year to see if I could make a full collection of James Bond movies only buying them second hand and for less than £5 I've managed to pick up copies of Dr No, Diamonds Are Forever, Live & Let Die, The Man With The Golden Gun, Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day, Casino Royale, Quantum Of Solace & Skyfall.

Dr. Diamonds Live the Moonraker for Tomorrow the Die Casino Quantum Skyfall.   

much better than No Forever Die Gun Moonraker Only Dies Enough Day Royal Quantum Skyfall.

I now wonder if I noticed Joe Turkel was in THE SHINING for the first time twice.

It's not how long you make it, it's preventing the screams from waking the neighbors.

I almost never write or type the word "Whale"

I'm a little surprised there haven't been more Kylo Ren & Stimpy jokes...

Great.... Now you've got me thinkin' about that song "Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe".............

I can't help thinking "My City Was Gone" by The Pretenders would've sounded completely different if Devo had done it.....
I'm thinking it would've been a happy song called "Good Riddance".

I will enjoy the GOP Debate much more without that swaggering bully Donald Trump on the stage.

Why is everything made out of black plastic nowadays?
The next clock, camera, computer, phone, tv, etc, that I buy, I want it to be made out of clear plastic, with glow in the dark buttons.

I am supposed to be making a speech at a dinner tonight. Should be about 5 minutes long. So far I have 7 lines written.

Just how do you do wakka do, and how many times should you do wakka do it?

It just doesn't sound right when a radio news person says, "A college student is dead following a check on traffic & weather"......

The worm may turn, but as worm's are a-political...who cares?

As I watched my daughter's mice fight over which one got to use the chew stone first, I thought of how that was the most important thing in the world to them, but to the rest of existence, it didn't matter a hill of beans. Maybe that's how anything we do here on this planet is when laid against the scale of the universe.

My agenda tonight is simple: Grill ribs, eat them, write next chapter of my current WIP.

Will the past be present in the future?

I hear there's talk of a Bucky Larson reboot by J.J. Abrams.  :buggedout: :bouncegiggle:

Cool, you're writing a women-in-prison script! About time you got done with all that religious stuff.

Netflix seems to have moved me to the 2-DVDs-at-a-time plan without me asking or paying extra. Kind of nice of them, though I suspect it's just that  their database is probably screwed up.

I don't have the discipline to write down my ideas for films, so I've been vlogging them... :lookingup:

For the second time in my life, I was informed that someone I know is a murderer. The first was in grad school when, shortly after graduating, I learned that my linguistics professor killed his wife, who was planning to leave the state with their daughter. Today, I learned that one of the people that goes to my church (I won't call him a Christian since he never behaved like one--something has always been a bit off about him) murdered a little old lady. He has a wife with 3 kids, 2 of whom are still teenagers living at home (none are his). I don't ever want to hear of someone I know personally committing such a heinous act ever again.

Oddly enough, I meant "Work In Progress" - but my current work in progress does, in fact, involve a woman who spends several chapters in a horrible prison in a cave in the Egyptian desert.

that sounds hot

My ass smells like s**t.
 :bluesad:

Why is it that everytime I order a set of thermals online, eBay thinks I'd be interested in a set of @$$less panties? :hatred:

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

Send them to me  :wink:

My feet hurt: not the bottoms, but the tops. Strange.  :question:

I need to check the water softener.

Should we call the freezer in the refrigerator the 'water hardener?'

Edie: "You should come to Sabbath service with me tonight. We're having a special speaker from Israel, and you haven't come in ages."

Me: "It's just that it's Lent, Edie, and if I go into a Jewish temple now I'm afraid I might catch fire or something."

Edie: "Ironically the talk is on how there is no Hell."

Me: "Then I guess this speaker has never been to the license bureau on a weekend."

Polly Waddle doodle...all day? All stinkin' day? That slut...

From a man of Confederate Heritage, I would like to say Happy Birthday to the First Republican! :)

Be kind to your web footed friends, for a duck may be somebodies mother....not sure exactly who, mind you...

I forgot what "Quantitative Easing" means...
Or where I heard it...
And I have absolutely no idea why I'm thinking about it...

QE is when a central bank buys securities in order to drive down interest rates. It stimulates the economy in the short term.

Happie Presidents' Day! :cheers:

I think I ate too much, but, DAMN, it was worth the pain!

RIP Denise Matthews, AKA Vanity

Cheddar cheese, polk salad, and my next door neighbor...which two of these three go together?

So....our dishwasher has this design flaw called "it's getting old" that leaves it with these gaps that let forks and other utensils fall down out of the little basket and hang in space, caught by the very end so that the rack won't slide in or out until the item that's caught is removed. It makes you have to fully lift the sliding rack itself and work out the stuck object, and it's kind of a big deal in a not that big a deal way.

Today I was trying to pull out a spoon, and naturally, it being like 5:00 AM, the spoon fell into the no man's land between the silverwear tray and the lower portion of the dishwasher itself.

Being 5:00 AM, I didn't feel like lifting the whole shelf and making noise, so I rolled the dice and tried working my hand into the space between the rack and the bottom. Leaning forward in a contorted stance like that, I clutched the spoon just fine but then found my hand was stuck. I mean really stuck. Like no matter how I tugged it stayed stuck kind of stuck.

So I stood there in this undignified pose, thinking, "why did my parents have to meet?" and actually had to (oh the humiliation) get my three-year-old to go wake her daddy up, and rescue me from my crazy plight, all before sunrise.

So help me God, that schlocky dishwasher goes this very week!

Yesterday I was up at 430, dressed, went to gym, exercised in a group,  changed, went to work, trained two people, worked all day, got home at 630 discovering I HAD WORN TWO DIFFERENT SNEAKERS THE WHOLE TIME.

So help me God, that schlocky dishwasher goes this very week!

Three things you should do.
1: Take it to a shooting range.
2: have at it with what ever boom stick ya got.
3: enjoy the catharsis.

He also didn't smother under his stuffed animals as a baby, Clare. Stuffed animals are pretty darn safe. (Sorry, had to add that too)

The good thing about everyone else in the office being off sick is that I have a free hand in what music gets played (currently Blue Oyster Cult).

You better start the day with GODZILLA, cause ya know...tradition.

I have a Tumblr blog.

http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/ (http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/)

I've been trying to work out a Viking funeral angle.

Daggone this fresh outa the dryer laundry smells good this morning!! Maybe I should let my four-year-old pick out the detergent more often!

Cool! Make a vid. Like these guys did.
https://search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?p=Shooting+broken+appliences&ei=UTF-8&hspart=mozilla&hsimp=yhs-001

I've hidden the Fallout 4 disc til Monday.

I'm getting sick of networking all the time & never actually doing anything.

Trying to get my paws on some footage from my most recent work, which I just found out the director decided to scrap & start all over...  :hatred:

The new intern says her great-grandfather fought in the German army in World War Two, and lost a leg to frostbite in Russia.

Ouch! One more proof that war is hell.

My mother in law's dog is named Ali, but I call her the Booger . . .
or the worst dog in the history of the planet, for short. :hatred:

I am going film hunting tomorrow: anyone want to come and join in?*

*Physical labor is required.  :teddyr:

I refuse to treat reality with the respect it demands.

Everywhere I go in my apartment, I smell cat poo.

I don't own a cat!

Why are there no fat vampires? Is it the liquid diet?

There was a morbidly obese vampire in Blade.

I've been audited every year in this century save two.

I am dirty. My bath is calling me.  :teddyr:

In a text my badly hungover friend just called me a "half-Mick shant." I've never been called a "half-Mick shant" before. I'm not sure what it...

Oh, OK. I looked it up. Shantytown Irish? We weren't shantytown Irish, we stuck it out over there, lol.

I swear, you take someone's credit card when they're too drunk to drive, use it to pay her a taxi and have her car towed so it won't get broken into in a bad neighborhood, and as thanks she insults your mother's people.

Just no reward for courtesy anymore. Wonder if I'm still invited to the bar mitzvah?  :bouncegiggle:

RIP Nancy Reagan.
Two weeks til spring....

Shelley Duvall and Ringo Starr were never married.

For some reason our stove tilts slightly backward and left, and has all the time we've lived here, and yet we've never tried to fix that or see why it does. It's not that big a deal in most cases, except when you try to fry an egg, the egg runs to the side, and that's annoying.

The tiniest minds make the loudest noise.

Amen, brother!

My grandpa loathed Frank Sinatra, because he said during World War Two 4-F Sinatra stayed home and bragged about bedding the wives and girlfriends of GIs off fighting for their country. He never forgave Sinatra for that. I was just randomly thinking about that this morning.

My stepfather was a Navy Airman in the war. He kept getting moved into one form or another of "advanced training" which kept him out of active combat.
That doesn't mean he skated through it; There were more than a few gruesome accidents he had to help clean up.

Anyway, after the war, he went to dental school, & became a dentist for 50yrs.
One of his instructors was an avowed pacifist, who believed that the US should have just given Hawaii to Japan & stayed out of the war.

One of my stepdad's classmates was an ex Marine who had been to Iwo Jima, and enjoyed picking on this one professor. (Most of hist classmates were veterans.)

So, one day, the professor was going to teach these future dentists how to melt down & purify gold in order to make fillings & crowns, AND incidentally, asked the students if they could procure their own in order to save the school some money.
The ex Marine showed up that day with a bag full of gold teeth. The professor wanted to know where he had gotten them, and well, I don't want to go into too much detail, but the ex Marine went on to explain how he had retrieved them from fallen Japanese on Iwo Jima.

The pacifist professor was appalled, which amused all the veterans.

Oh, Lord was that a brutal war.
The Japanese set the standard by how they treated prisoners and other non-Japanese, so that was the Imperial Military's payback. Watching THE PACIFIC and reading NEPTUNE'S INFERNO (The U.S.Navy at Guadalcanal) makes me glad my dad was also lucky to be a Navy Aircraft prop spec. in Sitka, AK. I feel for your stepdad, LilCerberus.

Goodnight, everybody/good morning Trevor!

My StepDad also likes to tell the story about how he got his deployment papers the day before the war ended.
My father also managed to stay stateside during the Vietnam War as a radar operator for delta battery.
And I had an uncle who was an Air Force typist during the war who had to serve stateside due to a bad ear.

I guess I just felt the obligation to point out that Frank Sinatra wasn't the only ingrate of the 1940s. I mean, we're told often enough about the hippie counter culture of the '60s, and it's politely touched on how accomplished men like Henry Ford & Charles Lindbergh were Nazi sympathizers prior to the war, but we never hear stories of how these men weren't alone in their beliefs, or that even way back then, we had the same voices we have today saying that we can't run around the world fighting other people's wars & making other nations mad at us, or going to war over some tiny little island that wasn't worth defending...

I'd really like to hear more about American dissenters of WWII, just like I wish every election year, people would watch Triumph Of The Will so they would see just where a slick PR package really gets a nation...

Let's not forget that we in the 2010s can have free discussion on things like dissent against our government less because of those who stayed home in the 1940s, than because of those who went over and put their lives on the line to oppose the evil people who created Triumph of the Will.

I'm with my grandpa on this, to carry on with the wives of the men over there protecting you is a low thing to do.

Hey, indy just told me he landed safely in Tel Aviv!

Remind him to keep his head on a swivel. After what happened just this week...be careful dude!

I think I need to learn up on Margaret Sanger...
The radicalist right wing talk shows have been bringing up how Hilary's such a drooling worshiper of Sanger...

So I looked it up, and apparently, in WWII, she had to rename everything she was a proponent of, because it was exactly what the Nazis were doing.

Yup. And also, from the horses mouth.
http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/zachary-leshin/planned-parenthoods-margaret-sanger-not-sure-whether-adultery-and-murder (http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/zachary-leshin/planned-parenthoods-margaret-sanger-not-sure-whether-adultery-and-murder)

So, following my misogynistic rant, some rabid atheist on twitter had to point out that Hitler & Sanger weren't fans of each other... Semantics... The irony...

So, following my misogynistic rant, some rabid atheist on twitter had to point out that Hitler & Sanger weren't fans of each other... Semantics... The irony...

Um...hope I didn't tick you off. Just found it strange indeed, that link.

No, not at all. Like I said, I need to learn up on Sanger.

Happy St. Patrick's day to all the good little Catholics & all the good little Irish, and a happy Lush day to all the drunks running around in green plastic derbys...

My dear grandmother over in the stone-soiled eternally green land of Connaught blames Americans (we dwellers in this land of sin and vice and cable TV) for turning a saint's day into a drunken debauch. Talked to her a bit ago and she praised me for not using the day as an excuse for anything "untoward" and bid me to remember I am also half-Irish, and Ireland is a land of professed holiness, though these days under siege by the misguided. I thanked her for her kind words, assured her I would indeed shun all inebriation this august day of Padriag, and felt glad inside that she doesn't know I am seriously thinking of trying ayahuasca in the near future.

Why is there no beer that 're-emerges' in a color other than green? Is it a dye problem, or just a question of mixing primary colors?

I bought a dill weed...
Looked hopeful, really stated to take off...
Then some varmint ate it...  :hatred:

The 10:15 meeting starts in thirty seconds....

I absolutely, positively,deliberately refuse to be random! Look, a racoon! 

So, in addition to Sanger, I need to learn me up on Francis Galton, & this whole thing about the cow or the ox or whatever it was...

That "Puppy-Monkey-Baby" commercial scares the hell out of my kid.

! No longer available (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql7uY36-LwA#)

It scares the hell out of me too.

I once tried to write a really dark, dystopian retelling of The Ballad Of Jed Clampett... These danged misanthropic hippies didn't get it.

(http://kellyannpope.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/What-in-Tarnation.jpg)

And if you try to tell the story of Petticoat Junction without explaining why uncle Joe was slow...

I do say...
             This color thingy...
                                 Is a lot of fun.

     Did you ever sit there, tapping the centers of your palms with your middle fingers, then remember....you don't have webshooters?

I think I'm getting old, finally.  :thumbdown:

I thought I was old when I turned 60. Getting my Golden Buckeye card from the state? THAT made it official!

Last day of work before I have some time off to prepare for my 6 month stint in the south Atlantic.

In only 3,357 days I become eligible to join AARP!

"Hair" is one of my least favorite smells.

Something I don't quite get about interpretations of the works of Samuel Beckett, is how they tend to focus on his being from Ireland, despite his having moved to France at a young age, where he would live the rest of his life, having served in the French Underground in WWII, wherein he really didn't get into serious writing until after the war, with the bulk of his works being geared towards post war German audiences...... :lookingup:

My back feels like someone hit it with a baseball bat.

My arm feels like I hit someone in the back with a baseball bat.

I think it's an Irish "diaspora" thing. If you come from a grief-haunted nation that's sent its best out into the world, leaving you with half the population you had two hundred years ago, you cling with a desperate, starved neediness to the achievements of those whose genetic origins lie within your country, wherever they went on to settle.

Beckett did have a line I've always liked: "...nothing is more real than nothing..."

I think there is an innate Irishness in a remark like that.

My baseball bat don't feel a thing.

I forgot Planet Fitness closes at nine on Fridays.

This pollen is getting everywhere.

Inralp reezilmanorp. Magorzip!  Magorzip! Magorzip!!   :buggedout: :question: :bouncegiggle: :twirl:

Pizza bites were designed by ninjas to burn the mouths of their victims.

Beyond the realm of things we know lies the realm of things we don't know . . . :buggedout:

(https://i.imgflip.com/11xc6z.jpg)

 :wink: :wink:

Plarni Pornaml: ag, I give up.  :wink:

Now, here I thought planet fitness involved having solid continents, buff coastlines, and Alps of steel.

My router at home took a major dump this morning.

I'm having to re do the configuration.

f**k.

Aquaman Vs. Prince Namor. Even Del Toro can't make that work.

The more I think about it, the more I am certain I dodged a bullet by not going last night. Besides, the questionable experience ill-suited capping off a child's birthday party. Doesn't it feel extra good to know you made the right choice? Beside, "Where you go I go, always." is a remark for my mental treasure chest.

If Rudolph Nureyev caught fire, and came at you with a musket, shot and missed, you could say you dodged a Blazing Ballet Bullet.

My blog traffic has gone from 300 + views a week to around 40 a week in the last month . . . not sure why!  :bluesad:

I have 14 framed photos on my wall of cats.

I'm glad we never started a 'strange dream suppository'

My friend and his wife came to dinner tonight and brought a bag of creepy gag fortune cookies. Mine said, "The bullet that will kill you was manufactured today."

...huh.

Well, that's sure a positive thing to get in a cookie!   :buggedout: :buggedout:

In first grade at Mary Queen of Heaven Elementary, this boy on the playground tried to get people to give him money to watch him eat a ladybug, and I felt sorry for the ladybug, so I jumped on him and wrestled it away and let it fly off. Instead of getting mad he spent the rest of the year wanting to be my boyfriend. I bet somewhere in this world he's out there now married to a dominatrix.

The ants are coming out in force this year. I'd consider an ant eater for the job, but would it turn on me when winter comes, and the ants hide?

I thought Flangepart was asking if an anteater would turn him on in winter.  :question:

RIP Doris Roberts

Boaty McBoatface?

Snarky McSnarkfest?

RIP Prince (The Artist Formerly Known As Prince)

Gaelic word of the day: breacaimsir menaing weather that is unremarkable as either particularly good or bad.

As used in a sentence: "Tomorrow we are supposed to have tornado watches here, but today the weather is just sort of breacaimsir."

Years ago now, bought a horse named "Prince".  Not in MY barn!  So his show name became "The Artist".

RIP Joanie Laurer, aka wrestler Chyna

I don't care that those celebs died but geez, somebody should.

I never really understood what PURPLE RAIN was about . . .  :question:

Earth day, founded by a happy lil wifebeater who murdered his girlfriend, used her for compost, & tried to claim the CIA did it...

I made a poop a couple months ago that might have been in the world record books, if I'd measured it.  Looked like I swallowed a python!

I picked up thin crust pizza by mistake yesterday from the take n bake place.

I'm not wearing any socks right now!   :buggedout: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:

skateboard wheels are super hard now. I'm not sure why people like them like that its a little slippery and loud for me. certain tricks are easier though I guess thats the diff

I never had one o those kinds o skateboards. Mine had the skinny metal wheels.
Ugh! Gives me the speed wobbles just thinkin about it.

I rented two movies Friday and haven't watched either of them yet!

 :buggedout: Well, I just found out that Autism Speaks doesn't speak for autistic people... :buggedout:

I was the bottom right support for a human pyramid.

Last night my husband and I were supposed to watch the last Hunger Games movie together, but he got wrapped up in Dark Souls 3 and left me hanging while he had a go at a boss. It got late and we never did watch it. Well today he sent flowers to my work by way of saying sorry about that. Made my day!

lilcerebus - speed wobbles are terrifying. If you could bottle that emotion I'd buy it by the can

The last time the universe explodes may not, indeed, be the last time.

Gaelic word of the day: "atueslyl." A noun that refers to someone who is a virgin but is not pure of heart. I had many cousins whom that word fit.

My life seems written by Stephen King, edited by Douglas Adams, produced by Patrick McGoonan, and performed by Loony Tunes.

Me tired and dirty  :thumbdown:

Today was our school's field day, with all grades out doing games and obstacle courses all day long.
At 52, I am not as quick or agile as I used to be.  So naturally, I had to compete against the students in EVERY event!!!

So...masochistic or just crazy old guy?

The pharmacy iPhone app f**ked up again.  They really need to fix the dang thing.

A bit of both.  Let's call it a fit of unbridled optimism, shall we?
But I did outrun FOUR seniors in the 50 yard dash!!!

You crazy nutty insane weirdo...good on ya!

I just literally laughed out loud when I saw a DVD titled "Kayne West - The Making Of Good Music".

Lawn mowers and cell phones don't mix.

 :bluesad: I liked it better when the acronym GOT stood for Galaxy Of Terror. :bluesad:

And göt is Turkish for ass.

Really? What's the Turkish word for giant maggot? :smile:

Years ago when I was in Scotland, I bought my Doctor Who-loving friend Rob a tartan TARDIS, and he was disappointed when he got it because he thought I said I got him "A tart in a TARDIS." Yeah, like I was gonna put some woman of easy virtue in a scale TARDIS and send it to him, right....?

My husband: "You were a more interesting person before you found God."

Me: "You used to be able to do five-hundred ab crunches."

My husband: "OK, we'll call it even."

I'll be on leave from the 23rd to 27th May - nice.  :smile:

I think long after everyone I know is dead, my diary will give me a small scale version of posthumous fame.

I also think Elvis had bad taste in shoes.

And exactly why is Vagas Elvis the only one people remember?

More sequins. Sequins are the key to immortality.

There are days I wish I'd stayed a virgin.

Have they outlawed Hyaluronic Acid or something? Jeez! :hatred:

Had to get some new highlighters yesterday.

Who's Verner Hertzog?

He's an eccentric and eclectic German filmmaker. One of his movies was apparently the last thing Ian Curtis watched before he hanged himself in May 1980. (Not a reflection the movie's quality, one hopes.)

I rather liked his INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS.

"Werner Herzog," not "Verner Hertzog."  :tongueout:

http://youtu.be/QhMo4WlBmGM (http://youtu.be/QhMo4WlBmGM)

Every Wednesday afternoon, I go to WRIR 97.3fm & I play some piped-in show called FilmSpotting, and they'll talk about whatever's been recently released, and then dedicate the rest of the show to stuff I never got around to watching, or that I've never even heard of, because (lets face it) I've dedicated my life to the kinds of movies that are going to turn up on afternoon & midnight UHF, AAANNNDDD that's why I wanna be an actor like Klaus Kinski, because he's been in a bunch of stuff that the critics like that nobody's ever heard of, and a bunch of stuff that we like that everybody's seen.

Seriously, the guys at Filmspotting thought Ishtar was a good movie!  :buggedout:

Am I the only person who hears 'ride of the Valkyries' and can only think of chopper's beginning a strafing run?

Now that you mention it, It makes me think about that scene from the trailer where the guy's spinning around in the turret like it's the magic teacup ride from Disneyland...

Kinda wish I could afford one of these... Only, I'd give it more than one facial expression...

http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/decorations/animatronics/2-5-cerberus-3-headed-dog/pc/1005/c/0/sc/1011/46478.uts?thumbnailIndex=1 (http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/decorations/animatronics/2-5-cerberus-3-headed-dog/pc/1005/c/0/sc/1011/46478.uts?thumbnailIndex=1)

It's my son's fifth birthday and I took him to work with me and said he could decide where we had lunch. Any restaurant anywhere. His pick. The city is wide. Totally up to him. His call. The culinary  universe lay at his feet. He names it, we'll go there. Lay it on me, he's the decider today.

He chose McDonald's.

Gotta head to the office supply place and find a new laptop stand.  My previous one the arm came clean off.

Huh, there is apparently no immediate limit to the number of times you can use the eff-word on BMDO.

My dad is having his yard dug up again.

First Elsa, now Captain America... :lookingup:

And add a sound chip of it arguing with itself.

Wait a minute! Brent Spiner's character from Independence Day survived? :buggedout:

I have a scorching case of diverticulitis.  They gave me two medicines for it, with which one I must absolutely not touch alcohol unless I want to become violently ill. 

Do NOT let the cats bring you your meds...unless you let them have your beer. Well, I wouldn't trust 'em...

I love my kids. Today we went to a cemetery to feed the swans and see if we could spot the rare red squirrels they have, and we crossed up this hill and I stopped and said, "Oh, they're burying somebody." Instantly and as one they all said, "Can we go see????!"

Awesome, man, awesome.

That's pretty priceless.  Did they complain when they saw the casket was closed?

I wonder if Kenny Chesney realizes that to someone from the east coast he looks like a very gay man like fashion wise

RIP Muhammad Ali

It only just now occurs to me that The Matrix takes place around the same time everyone was worked up about the Millennium Bug...

I'm in a quotey mood today.

Better send all your beer to me just to be safe!

Every time I hear somebody say "Straight Outa Compton", it makes me think about that digital encyclopedia you used to get with Windows 3.1 computers....

If all the alternate universes were put together...the nerds would still be outnumbered by the normal people.

Normal?

The Trumpster will be visiting the home of the iBook Riots... Can't wait to see how THAT works out...

Well, what ever behavior is most acceptable to the majority of a planets population. Particularity the world of the BDCs. Beer Drinking Cats.

It's taking forever to get this one directory moved over to archive storage at work.

Just got done with Krav Maga, read a nice little horror story while sitting here at Starbucks watching my favorite/least favorite barista do her stuff, waiting on my godson's mom to get out of traffic so I can experience her getting even more hyperactive with caffeine swirling through her bloodstream, sidestepped having to have dinner with my in-laws tonight (THANKS, HONEY!!!), got a full tank of gas, a new battery for my phone, the present I ordered my mother for her birthday Sunday came in, and it hits me....life is pretty darn good right now.

Ever notice the fluid in those self-service windshield cleaning wells at gas stations smells like it was hauled in from The Bog of Eternal Stench?

The bog of eternal stench. E-yeah...must be all those festering bug guts end up in thar.

Making vanilla-cattail pollen ice cream tonight.

I'm staring into the computer monitor...and it stares into me. We both yawn.

skateboarders generally hate kids on scooters but they've kind of grown on me. It's cool that they can have an actual session where they interact with each other, try new tricks, fall, etc on their own for long or longish periods of time. It's different than playing sports, less structured obviously, but similar in other ways.

Hugh Jackman has appeared in my dreams more than any other real-life person.

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM...well, there goes my day...

Just realized that it was never the Chinese spamming my site at all... it was probably Russians or Ukrainians, using Chinese proxy servers.

To my dying day I will never know whose idea it was to put the word "Fun" in "Funeral."  :bluesad:

My life as a tank engine sound on Doppler shift.

I wonder if you could fuel an automobile using nothing but belly button lint . . . :question:

Howitzers can be fun, but make sure you use the right ammunition with them.

Possible date night Friday.

Does your chewing gum loose it's flavor, on the bed post over night?
No, it adds the taste of wood varnish to it's 'style'.

Could I drink so much that I become sober?

I had put out two kinds of butterfly weed, but I'm now finding out I should've put out two kinds of milkweed. I'm finding gardening has a lot in common with engines, like when you confuse the two kinds of rotary engines, or the two kinds of radial engines...

I wonder why they don't offer degreed institutions for autodidacts with learning disabilities...

I got a new toothbrush yesterday and it feels weird. Funny how something like that can be so annoying.

If Godzilla and Momma Gorgo wanted to 'get busy', would they send baby Gorgo go 'out for a pizza', and what would the Kaiju equivalent of that be? Eating an oil tanker, stomping a village, or what?

As a Midwesterner I have noticed two things about tornadoes: you can't argue with them, and they don't seem to like the taste of Jews.

I'm a little surprised Four-Square has never become a professional sport.

I remember once when I was very little I had a dream that I went to the bathroom and somehow I got poop on the ceiling.  I didn't throw it up there; I was doing business as usual but somehow it wound up sticking to the ceiling.  Turd after turd would hang from the ceiling like stalactites.  My mom was appalled and my sister busied herself trying to count them all.  She had quite the task in front of her.

Which species would most likely succeed in taking over the world, Ducks or chickens?

Since ducks pre-dated human civilization and chickens are mostly a bi-product of human engineering, allow me to postulate this scenario: a virus wipes out humanity and most mammals. Ducks, being able to navigate by land, sea, and air, quickly benefit from the vacuum in nature the absence of mammalkind brings, and flourish, while chickens purdy much get eaten by anything that can catch them. Able to dwell in a number of biomes, ducks quickly multiply and become more numerous than at any point in millennia. Aliens arrive in flying saucers in a few thousand years and find ducks on six continents and in migratory flocks so vast they darken the sun."

"Erpo k'rak, Ludrf, poncho pzop*," says the alien red-shirt to his captain (just before a flock of ducks descends and eats him in proper red-shirt fashion).

*"Truly, Ludrf, this is the planet of the ducks."

Q.E.D.

ER now can write the Prequil for Howard The Duck.

The story about that autistic man & his councilor down in Florida had me tore up a good while. I was in special classes & wound up doing some vocational rehab instead of college or trade school, so I got to know a few people like that. I worry about their futures, & then I feel it staring back at me, and I can't help getting broken up.
People don't know me. They think because I don't walk & talk like one of them, that I must be stubborn & lazy, and it hurts.

RE; wet heat Vs. Dry heat...
The sun is The Godfather, and high humidity is Luca Brazi coming around the corner to find you, as you owe them money.

I like people who look on the bright side. Take my friend Amy. She had a mastectomy but refers to it as, "The time I lost three pounds." Now there's an optimistic outlook for you!

That's funny, but you forgot an example of dry heat. Is it a small yappy dog biting your ankles? A spoiled kid screaming on a long flight to Boston? The small bit of green vegetable matter in your date's teeth just before the g'night kiss? The calm before the explosion when there's one last cookie in the package and three children moving toward it at once?

D'OH!
Dry heat is like Tessio makeing the deal with Barzini. "It's just business."

I took the man who has helped me so much lately in managing my work out to lunch earlier in the week and he told me this true story:

"I spent so much money on cocaine when I was young that my dealer said he named his German Shepherd after me. I said, 'Alan, you're calling the dog Benny, that's not my name.'

"So he looked right at me and said, 'Yeah, Joe, but how I think of you is the guy with the Benjamin Franklins, so Benny, right?'

"I didn't like that name, so I started paying him with fifties.

"Well the dealer was paranoid, kept getting new dogs to watch his place, thinking if he kept a dog around too long it might make friends with somebody out to steal his stash, and one day when I was over buying my blow I saw he got a new one so I asked if he named this one after me too, I was thinking maybe he said, 'Joe, meet General Grant.'

"But he said, 'Nah, this one I call Harvard.'

"I went, 'Let me guess, because that's where you're sending your kid soon?'

"The dealer looked me straight in the eye and said, 'No, Joe, that's where YOU'RE sending my kid.'

"And it hit me, my drug habit was putting somebody else's kid through a better school than I was planning on putting my own kids through!"

So I sat there at that table and thought this man, Joe, I know he sent his two kids to more than decent schools, so his cocaine habit must've been truly off the scale for that to have been true, and I said so.

He said, "My nose paid for someone to go to Harvard. What's that tell you."

Somehow that put it into perspective, and I don't think I'l watch Escobar on Netflix

Wow.  Quite a story there, ER!!
It's a wonder he lived this long.

Knew a guy once he told about this dog he had, a pit bull, how much he really liked his dog and all that, until one day the police shot it while raiding his house.  I felt bad for the guy (and more, for the dog) then he destroyed all the sympathy I had for him bytelling me how he used to feed gun powder to the dog.  Turns out that's an all too common practice of among drug dealing street trash to make their dogs "tougher and meaner".  

I thought about asking the guy how he'd feel if someone feed HIM gun powder and appealing to his sense of empathy, but I honestly don't think he had any.

ER and I got into a short story writing contest.  The results were pretty entertaining on both our parts, I think!

Wow, I'd love to moderate a thread like that.  I can see it now...

Okay, first topic is... waffles!

You both have one day and need to come up with a minimum of one hundred words.  GO!

Oh, my required elements were something like:

- the year 1986
- a boss who is afraid to leave his workplace
- a staircase where three people have died
- a hot secretary who wears a different wig every week
- spicy cookies
- a marketing scheme involving Peru
- and a rabbi with PTSD

I'll post mine on my blog Tuesday night.

Ever notice everybody tends to wear the same clothes constantly on cartoons?

A day on the lake with friends is the best therapy of all.

Poultry is the best friend a geek can have.

I'm beginning to worry about the mental state of the American press.

Last year, some paranoid junkie with a bad haircut shot up a church, and millions everywhere went after The Dukes Of Hazard. Then, NBC Nightly Nooz did a report saying the KKK was now down to fewer than 5,000 Dixiecrats nationwide...

So, yesterday Trump made a crack about gun control politicians that 2nd amendment supporters have been parroting for years, and all of a sudden he's making a threat, & NBC Nightly Nooz is saying that Trump's entire base is the KKK, which, as I previously mentioned, is fewer than 5,000, which just doesn't add up.

The press needs an intervention.
THE PRESS NEEDS HELP!

The Media is like any other group of people with power and influence. And just as capable of vast corruption. They just hire cuter people.

My husband was a media studies major, his father was a local news producer, and my husband was left too disgusted by the "covert reality" of the news industry to be a part of it.

He hated the sensationalism, the directives from the network powers that be to keep a chosen spin on a story intact at the local level, and above all he hated the morbid focus on making peoples' tragedies into lead stories. He said he could not be part of that callousness without losing his soul.

He went into it idealistically and after two years interning and part-timing at a station (yes, Indy, that's when he banged the weather girl) he walked out and said it was like he regained self-respect the farther he drove away. To this day he despises the news media and hardly ever watches it, describing its corruption and bias.

I'm begining to feel like a Prole watching the entire Ministry Of Truth have a collective meltdown as Oceana mutters, "Big Brother has lost it!"

When I was a kid it used to scare me sometimes to walk past our cabinet-size TV, like something was going to reach out and get me, like something actually could live in there. Now with flat screens, less so, since the TV ghoul would have to be half an inch thick, and the thought of a half-inch ghoul is just not that intimidating.

I remember when we used to visit my gran at weekends we'd have a bed made up in my uncles room. He had a poster of a ghoul climbing out of a circular pit on his wall. That used to scare the crap out of me. Nowadays I have it as my laptop screensaver mind you.

The trouble with waking up is you're not asleep anymore.

I kinda have a problem with Ghost Rider's new '69 Charger.
I mean, there's, like, what, a dozen of those left?
And the other eleven are orange.

He's got a car? Huh...must be the new sponsor.

3 can sometimes be mistaken for 8. 6 for 9.

Grilled ribs taste ever so  much sweeter as the evening air cools down and you realize that grilling season is drawing to an end . . .

Jeez, Mom, if I was gonna die, don't you think it would've happened to me already?

I buried my pet rock at a quarry. When I read online that she might just be hibernating, I couldn't find her again!

It's been a fantastic couple of days as the private school I teach at celebrated its 40th anniversary and homecoming.
Today, for the first time in my life, I picked up an announcer's mike and did the play-by-play at a football game.
I may have found a new calling! :teddyr:

Still without my car.
Apparently, When the serpentine belt popped off, the mechanic assumed that the engine must have overheated, thus burning off all my coolant, nevermind that I had specifically said that the coolant reservoir had sprung a leak & run dry several times before that!
 :hatred: I AM REALLY NOT FEELING HEARD!  :hatred:

I tried to become normal...didn't take...Gizornenplatz!

Where I am now, when I look to the left, I am facing westward.

I face west sitting at my keyboard, and east when sitting on my toilet.  Coincidence?  I think NOT!!!  :teddyr:

Hey, Jamie answered my question about snakes on-air last night on Safari Live!

It's been a long time since I stayed up 24 hours straight.
Not that much fun anymore.

If butterflys are free, does that mean cockroaches are trapped under your sink?

Yes, I often wonder what pigeons & rats & roaches did before there where houses & cities...

At my house we think Halloween is too awesome to be contained in a single evening, so make all of October build toward it, with that last week transformed into a sort of Halloweenakkah, eight nights worth of the good stuff! Parties, costumes, making candles, night walks on a woods trails, scary movies, trick or treating, flesh sacrifices to the Master, its all there.

We celebrate Halloween all month too!  Though, we’re probably not as organized about it as you seem to be.  I like to extend it into the first week of November.  It always makes me sad how there’s so much build up then a day or two after Halloween, sometimes it’s like it never happened.  I like it to stick around and cuddle for a few more days.

You guys make me wish I had a social life.  :bluesad:

You do, mein Friend...well, ANTIsocial life, but hey...

This evening, I went to an AICP/VPA networking event meant to connect advertisers & agencies with film makers & studios...
Mixed like sheep & cattle, and of course, neither has any use for a part time board operator at an all volunteer low power radio station.
I haven't felt like this big of a freak since junior high school.

Over the years, I have done best to teach myself to be tolerant of people of all races, colors, and creeds.
But . . . I just don't think human beings are supposed to be ORANGE!  :buggedout:  #donaldtrumpisaspacealien

Doubtless we've all asked why it is ghosts are seen wearing clothes, when logically it'd seem ghosts would be naked, right? Old topic.

So to take that further, it might seem clothes have spirits and can enjoy an afterlife. Obviously, right? I mean they're always on ghosts. QED they survive death.

So to take it one step farther STILL, why do clothes need humans attached to them to be a ghost? Why can't clothes themselves haunt locations? Hmm? Think about it.

Remember that pair of jeans you threw away eleventh grade because they got bleach spilled on them? They might be floating around in the ethyr, watching, waiting, making random appearances and scaring onlookers. I bet it's only a matter of time till someone encounters a full "non-bodied apparition" of an old dead shirt or a single sock that met a tragic end. (And we won’t even talk haunted condoms!!) It's only logical after all.

Anyone care to share stories of an encounter with a departed fabric item? I truly think this is the next great field of paranormal research just waiting to happen!

Skipping Krav Maga tonight, and in a bit I'm going to talk about Kiva micro loans to someone I know. I have been involved with funding Kiva's micro-loan program for a decade, and it's not a scam and I think it does a lot of good on a person to person basis.

If anyone ever has some spare change and wants to use it for a good cause, you eventually get your investment back:


https://www.kiva.org/ (https://www.kiva.org/)

ER is a veritable fountain of good ideas on this thread!!!  :cheers:

The school I went to failed under the NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND act a couple of times, & the last four years, test scores haven't been up to standards, and a PTA member was recently indicted for embezzlement....

I wonder if I'd have a case for one of those frivolous lawsuits...

Reap what ya' sew...

Sometimes my husband is as moody as a teenage girl. I suggested he take up drug addiction to give himself something to do with his spare time in the fortnight he has off while he waits for his crew to get back from vacation, but he says he'd rather watch his fingernails grow. (I pointed out that there are certain drugs that'd make that more interesting, still pushing the addiction route because I figured when he "overcame" the drug there was a book deal somewhere in there, but no he's Mr. Good Clean Living.) I rooted around the attic til I found this old box of tapes of Jack Benny radio shows my grandma used to have and gave them to him to listen to, and he said if I was making some point it was lost on him. I said there was no subtext, it is a good show, kill some time with it. He said didn't I get it, he wanted to be active not kill time. I said, "Oh, active, why didn't you say so?" And I wrote out this list of all this stuff that needs to be done around the house. And you know what? He glared at me. Moody, I tell you...

Tornado warning tonight. Blah.

The worst part about tornado warnings is how the local weathermen can barely hide their glee at getting to pre-empt "Judge Judy."

YES!!!!

We had one guy here, almost legendary, really, who would sound aroused reporting tornadoes, and would go out afterward and report from in front of someone's wrecked house and say, "Wow, just LOOK at the raw power of nature! This was a beautiful example of what a tornado can do. I am speechless...can we get a closeup of those bedrooms...look at that car in the tree, toys scattered.....can we get those toys down there, scattered into the next street....family pictures tossed across the neighborhood....these houses, they're just ripped apart. I am....right now so awed. Seeing this is what you become a weather forecaster for. What you wait all year to see."

I used to just wait for someone to shoot him.

Who was that weird guy that came on right before & right after the debates on the fox network last night?

It weirds me out when someone calls flip-flops "thongs."

I just watched the first new episode of Black Mirror, the one about social media standing becoming a sort of new credit rating, and it was a little too realistic, and disturbing in a way that most bleak dystopian visions aren't. Black Mirror is a smart show.

The price of obamacare is about to go through the roof, coverage is about to shrivel up, and veterans are being made to give back their paychecks!

Can somebody tell me what's wrong with this picture?

I just found out you can't get a copy of Triumph Of The Will on ebay because It's "Nazi propaganda"...

My brain hurts when I watch the news. Please tell me I'm not alone in that.

I'm leaving WRIR.

Had a dream where some street preacher was trying to save my soul. Being a little confused by this I told him I was an engineer and therefore didn't have one.

Janet Reno, who spent more time & money trying to crush Bill Gates than she did trying to catch terrorists, has died.

Flingwtaddle Wombat Garamellon Garpatchio Zingleberry and Poottowards, Attorneys at law.

Er... the online radio station?

Meanwhile, the local Hucks is still selling Reese's Pumpkin Peanut Butter Cups at full price. 

Those vicious bastards!

I won a bat detector kit in a draw from the Canadian Wildlife Federation!  This should greatly enhance my vampire hunting capabilities.

Nice: this is the bat I use  :wink:

(http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/ODAwWDUyNg==/z/OE8AAOSwjVVVixJa/$_1.JPG)

Huh, didn't know such things existed.  If you go exploring caves with bats in it though, just be careful around the guano. 

 :question: Anybody know where to find a cape, like the kind Sherlock Holmes or Mr Sulu would wear?  :question:

Now if only bats could learn to play baseball.

Today's handy cooking tip:

When you put a bowl of popcorn into the microwave for two minutes, you'll increase the likelihood of getting popcorn if you remember to actually put kernels in the bowl first.

"Mother and father are replacing me with a brace of Howler monkeys!" Rifftrax.

I have NO clean undies. Anywhere.  :buggedout:





* Not even under the bed  :wink:

Okay, so the ability to rate your MP3s in your music player is a handy feature, but, I can't help but wonder why anyone would KEEP an mp3 file that they rate less than three stars. 

Course, I suppose it's for mainly for listening to music online that you don't already own.

Sounds like something Adam West would have in his utility belt. 

I just realized, this is the first year I won't be inflicting the Hardware soundtrack on the good people of Richmond.

Should you come across a sleeping bobcat...don't wake 'em.

DTs... :buggedout:
Words don't look right.  :buggedout:

Now that I know that Rat Fink by Allen Sherman is a spoof of Rag Mop by The Ames Brothers, Rag Mop sounds kind of like a rip off of Pennsylvania 6-5000 by Glenn Miller...

I was thinking about portable recorders, when I had an ADHD moment about that documentary Rate It X (1986), and I suddenly got what was up with that creepy disembodied white glove. I dunno, I guess you'd have to be a live sound person to know what I'm talking about.

What if the boogers we discard in Kleenexes crawl outside and evolve into slimy things like slugs and snails???  :buggedout:

Then you should probably give up your $400 a week escargot habit & take up picking your nose...

I have blisters on me fingers...should I take up the guitar?

That kid shot in Reno last week; Anybody else notice the crowd gathered around enjoying themselves?

Did not catch that one...but sadly, I'm not surprised...not surprised at all.

If it weren't for nostrils, boogers would be permanently homeless.

I think condoms should have erotic pictures printed on them.

Nah, that joke about the serial numbers wouldn't work...

As the stench from the elections won't go away, perhaps a groupwide review challenge of Triumph Of The Will is in order...

"Don't tell me what sort of Hanukkah to have."

"That's a cool picture - wait, it's gone.  Now it's back - wait, it's gone - now it's back . . . "

Now that you mention it, It does sound like a practical alternative to that joke about the guy who wants to get a $100 bill tattooed to his (you know what).

The joke where "Wendy" becomes "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day."?

No, the one where he tells the tattooist, he likes to watch his money grow, he likes to play with his money, and that his wife only married him for his money.

Wait, you forgot napkins were mobile homes? They be booger RV's man!

With increasing frequency, I find that I recognize fewer and fewer names/faces on imdb.com's Born Today list on the home page.

I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it. I am turning thirty-eight tomorrow, and I refuse to stress out about it.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks

That's okay, ER. We still love you. And you are still a spring chicken compared to me. Happy Early Birthday!!   :cheers: :cheers:

Happy birthdaty, and just remember it is only a number. I remember when I turned 40 my eggs still tasted the same when I had breakfast the next day.

Have a marvelous birthday, ER!!!!   





(No pressure)

Well...Carrie Fisher dies today...same age as me...wish I were 38 again...

I wonder how many people are going to getupset over THIS murdered actress...
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1310689/ (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1310689/)

Anymore it seems like everybody is dead.

Growing up, my cousin Allie reminded me of Delirium of the Endless. Not in how she looked, in how she...was. Harmless, tragic, surrounded by cats, swept away in bubbles of hazy thought, flighty, emotional, meandering, unstable, good-natured but ill-fated, pretty but sometimes kind of flimsy in construction, and able to throw a vicious fit, like when Del blighted the cop who pulled her over when she was driving with Dream*. I almost made Delirium my new picture, but somehow after 2016, her big sister Death seemed a better choice.

* "You'll feel like bugs are crawling on you for the rest of your life, and until you're dead and after you're dead, and forever!"

When someone speaks to me in Spanish, I speak to him in French. I get the weirdest reactions that way.

I think my right foot is planning to kill my left one, but it can't afford a third conviction.

Hah! Lucky you...imagine if it were your butt cheeks.

This time of year, my PTSD gets hard to control. Stuff that happened to me in school.

Last week, a pair of local public educators were killed in a house fire.
A part of me can't stop wondering how much of it is tragic, and how much is karma.
So Far, The local news has interviewed one of their neighbors, and one of their coworkers, and none of their students.

Man. School must have been ROUGH!

Too many "interventions".
Time once, when they thought ADHD, Aspergers' & dysgraphia could be "cured".

I bought a copy of Spoon River after finishing one of my acting classes, but I never read it...

Breaking Bad fans will probably remember the famous scene where Walter White is outside and, in a fit of anger, tosses a large party pizza up in the air and it ends up going right on the roof of his house.

Well, apparently fans of the show keep tossing pizzas on the roof, the mailbox, yard, and driveway of the house where that episode was filmed.  It's gotten so bad the shows creator Vince Gilligan had to even go on social media and beg fans not to do it anymore.  When I heard about this, all I could think of, "Damn, that is SUCH a waste of pizza!" 

People, STOP doing that!  If you don't want the pizza, send it to me!  (And not on my roof either.)  I don't get to buy pizza too often (unless it's frozen from the store) so just casually wasting it like that is incomprehensible to me.

Sing see today at the maple Grove church...
Behold I make all things new
New years eve.
10AM only

Okay, I think I've figured out what I'm doing wrong.

I've had the headphones up too high, so I've had the mics down too low.

Bit ago, the kids in bed, He Whom I Married safely ensconced in the Commonwealth Wasteland of Fallout 4, I laid down and wanted to read something uplifting and edifying, so naturally I thought of Poe. I was enjoying Annabelle Lee when something hit the roof above me. HARD. H.W.I.M. looked up briefly and then over at me and went back to his game, but being the more responsible sort, I did what anyone who'd spent time in Texas would, I got one of our assault rifles out and investigated. Turns out with all the ice and snow we had today a raccoon tried to climb our chimney and slipped and fell. Poor thing. It made me imagine how hard life would be living outdoors in all seasons, all weather, trying to find not only food but----this is what tripped me out---finding water this time of year. Imagine how thirsty wildlife must get. And while I can and do leave wild animals food this time of year, what can I do about water, since it freezes so rapidly? I guess I could segue into an "aren't we fortunate?" close here, but rather than hit upon the hopefully self-explanatory, how about instead I conclude by reminding everyone of the enigmatic statistic that the regions with the least sunscreen usage also have the lowest rates of all types of skin cancer.

Um, could it be because those places get no sun?  I mean, when was the last time you heard of a melanoma epidemic in England?

Sometimes when I'm really bored on this site, I go back and read my old upvoted posts. 

Othertimes I read WyreWizards's downvoted ones. 

So did anybody else bother with that Celts in Mongol territory weirdness that's supposed to be some re-imagining of the Baum classic?

First proper day back at work since I went off to the Falklands way back in April. One of the bosses took me to one side to let me know one of my co workers has been trying to stab me in the back while I was away. Welcome back I guess.

Today I was sworn at in German. Kind of loses something when you don't know the words. I think it was something to do with motor oil and monkeys? Asphalt?

Panzer driving pink Flamingos?

I turned 61 yesterday.

Hey, still breathin'!  :smile:

When Dubya was in charge, a friend made the inane argument for universal health care, "Would you rather have your taxes spent on health care, or an aircraft carrier?".

So, now we've got bamstercare, and yet, one of the reasons all those people got killed in that fire in Oakland, is because there's no more affordable housing in that city.

So, what is California spending their money on? Housing? Health care? A new warship? No...
California is spending a billion dollars on a George Lucas Museum!

Once when I was contact buzzed I thought my brain was going to melt down because I remembered this time, maybe two months before that day, I was getting ready to go someplace, and I walked out and thought, "You know, it's just a little chilly. I should go back in and get a sweater." Which I did. I remembered it took me about five minutes to go in, pick the sweater out, and get outside again.

Well as I lay on this floor incredibly stoned for someone who hadn't actually done the smoking, this heavy thought pressed down on me that I had completely changed my entire life by going back for that sweater, and in effect I was permanently running five minutes behind ever since that day.

I thought, whenever I go to Target from now on, I'll see different people, hear different things, maybe miss important happenings that I would have experienced five minutes before. Maybe I would have met someone important to the unfolding of my life, but now I never will, because I was five minutes behind life's former schedule, and nothing I can ever do is going to be able to change that.

It started feeling like I was suffocating contemplating how very real and very terrible, even tragic, this fact was.

So I told someone there and he said, "I can fix that." And he gave me this Hershey's Kiss to eat, and said, just think how it tastes, and listen to some calm music. And I guess that helped, but sometimes even now I think about that idea, the notion that I seriously am living on a vaguely different schedule than I would have if I'd gone outside without getting that sweater.

Infinite timelines = infinite possibilities

You know what's a very hard thing to do? Kiss your elbow.

Cynical about politics? Why yes, I am. Why do you ask? Oh, it's all the evidence...

Imagine spending your whole life being told you'll only be good for one thing, that your not even smart enough for the things you're good at. Then one day you grow up, and the only line of work you've ever known gets turned into some sort of political catch phrase; "Jobs Americans aren't willing to do". Imagine people who don't know you, nor ever will meet you announcing good enough, nor ever will be good enough for anything. Consider who really hates, and what really hurts.

I wonder if anyone here would be interested in reading the scores of movie reviews I wrote in the 2000s?

This is the site to post them on!

RIH Ricky Jovan Gray

Threw my neck out tonight carrying someone to the trunk of our car, and can barely turn my head to the left. Naturally when we walked in the front door after the concert and all I wanted was to limp in and grab a salonpas, three ibuprofen, and possibly a support brace, my five-year-old chose that moment to charge over and leap off the third stair landing straight at me calling out, "HI, MOMMY!" Couldn't let him fall, so I had to catch him, and my already stiff neck made a cracked knuckles sound audible (as evidenced by my husband's sympathetic wince) all the way across the room. I thought I was gonna die then and there while my kid choke-hugged me, and my right brain thought Virgin Mary lead me post-haste to Purgatory, and my left brain moaned for biological oblivion to grind me to dust, for, oh, beckoning grave I am ready. Truly, neck injuries are agony.

So you went to a concert and had to carry someone to the trunk of your car . . . ?
   I sense an interesting story here.

I get the Godzilla and Atragon themes mixed up.

Somehow, I added the Taxi Driver soundtrack to my Spotify playlist...
It keeps making me think that the sequel should be called Democrat...
Anybody else notice how they've started wearing hoods?

Eh, who am I to judge. I just maxxed out my credit card on microphones...

You may be crying, but you got me laughing. And for that I'll always be grateful. Please keep us advised of your progress, as we all here, I am sure, are hoping for a speedy recovery for you.

Progradation is the outward building of a sedimentary deposit, such as the seaward advance of a delta or shoreline, or the outbuilding of an alluvial fan.

If anyone cares about that statement, I know a girl I could fix you up with.

Is she an Alluvial fan dancer?

Every other Wednesday I try to get up early to play tennis before the proper day begins. Well the person I was supposed to play backed out at the last minute, so I went in and figured the chances were good I'd find someone to go up against, and if not, I'd practice serves. (My lifelong Grail quest is to add power to my precision. I've always had stamina and speed but have been told all my life I lack strength both in serves and returns.)

A man a little older than me came over and said he was in the same situation, his partner had to cancel, and he asked if I wanted to play a couple sets. We got an indoor court, I played against him, he wasn't bad at all, good sets, satisfying play, if time had allowed I'd have gladly gone a third set against him but we each had to split, so we walked to the net to shake hands and I'd noticed the whole time he'd left a watch on, but I looked closer at the watch and realized it was the same one my Uncle Lark wears: a Presidential Rolex.

I said, "You....played tennis wearing a Presidential Rolex?"

He said, "Yeah, it's safer than leaving it in a locker, and I figure I might as well get use out of it."

I get that, but....this man played tennis wearing a watch that costs more than a lot of new cars.

Wow.  That's . . . something!

Took my daughter to morning Mass, she enjoys it and I get to see my godson and his family (or as I often call them, his "ilk") but I never go up and take communion---like ever---and sometimes I am the only one in the entire service who doesn't, even my daughter goes up, which is a gray area, shrug.

This morning as everyone was walking back to the pews after communion, maybe half the parishioners in the seats, half still lined up at the front, this old church lady of a type we used to call a "rosary rattler" back in my Catholic schooldays came up to me and said in this stage whisper that carried across half the church, "Why don't you ever take Communion? If you're in a serious state of sin after all this time, you should go to confession instead of living with it."

Instead of reminding her what I did was none of her business, I foolishly joked that my present life is too banal for serious sin to be much of a problem, I didn't go up out of respect for the rules of it all, feeling less than in communion with Rome, as one is supposed to be to receive the alleged body of Christ.

She then said, "WELL, you should consider what I said, because everybody probably assumes you're living in mortal sin or something like that. Also you're not setting a good example for your little girl. So I would go to confession today if I were you."

And with that she got up and waddled away, and as I mentally beat her head against the pew I remembered how much I disliked going to church.

I live alone, I don't have any friends, & have ADHD. That said, why is it, in an audition, I get lines, whereas in a request for an STA, I get a list of characters, props, camera angles, motions, etc, but am usually asked to improv my lines? I'm just an actor. What do they expect me to do with all this?

Recite an imaginary grocery list, but with gusto!

Call everyone and everything by it's wrong name.
"Hand be that cat, would you?"
"Cat?"
"The one on the lid."
"That's an Iphone under a magazine..."
"Whatever."

Testing...

I couldn't post yesterday: strange.  :question:

I've concluded lions are the complete and utter dicks of the African savanna.

That's why they helped that dentist kill one, despite the misgivings of the Copenhagen Zoo.

Seriously, in their Darwinian uber-struggle to stay dominant they kill leopards, they kill painted dogs, they kill baby elephants, they kill giraffes, they kill cheetahs, they kill humans, they kill snakes, they kill each other, they kill the young, they kill for sport, they kill for pleasure, they kill for territory, they wreck the dens of other animals.

They have no internal equality in their prides, the strong bully the weak with amazing shows of cruelty, they have tyranny and oppression beyond Stalin's dreams. If a member tries to leave the pride, the others rip it to pieces, and they exist amid almost sexual slavery and chauvinistic misogyny, with males being lazy layabouts, making females do all the work, using them for breeding at their whim. In short lions are like a four-legged version of ISIS!

Males routinely kill other males' cubs. Males routinely kill their own male cubs. Sometimes within the same families even females kill other female's cubs to give her own cubs a better chance of rising to dominance. Watch lions for a while and you'll see they attack each other as a way of life, beating each other down to show which is higher in the pride's ranks.

They are also total Monets: the closer you get to them the less beautiful they are. They are tick-spotted and mangy, and they smell just awful, lying in their own filth (one of the few species that routinely does this), and peeing on one another all the time to show (again) dominance.

Also for all their undeniable strength and prowess they are sloppy hunters, sometimes taking half an hour to suffocate prey to death, preferring not to bite deeply because they might break a tooth.

Lions just suck.

Leopards now, leopards are awesome.

Peter Hathaway Capstick feared hunting a Leopard more than a lion. He even, while agame warden, used a home made armor vest, with a football helmet, to give himself a chance if one of those 'shredders' ever jumped him.

My hair is way, way too long: waiting for the CANSA Shavathon www.shavathon.org.za (http://www.shavathon.org.za) so that I can get my Jason Statham vibe going on again.  :wink:

As I've gotten older, I find I prefer a short haircut. Back in the day, I was a hippie from Hell. Actually, less than 8 years ago, I had rather long hair. Got tired of it being in my face and mouth. One day, while I was mostly drunk, I broke out my shaving kit and gave myself the shortest haircut I'd had in nearly 45 years and haven't looked back since.

Short hair is definitely easier to take care of!!

My hair is a mop: I am waiting for 25 February so that someone can turn me into Yul Brynner / Telly Savalas / Jason Statham or some bald old lady.  :wink:

Tadpoles are extreme cannibals.
Extreme cannibals are tadpoles.
Cannibals in the extreme are tadpoles.

Yeah, try collecting crickets for pets.
That'll surprise ya real quick.

Just like if you say a word long enough it begins to sound silly, if you stare at your hand a while it starts looking odd.

I've worked out, to the 10th power, that the odds of embarrassing your Mom due to the shabby condition of your underwear, are just too much to contemplate.

I have also decided that Norway is not shaped like the rat it is named after.

My Mom would agree with you  :wink:

I never liked The Matrix.

I never saw The Matrix.

You lucky bastard.   :cheers:

According to a caffeinated marsupial I am lucky despite being born out of wedlock.

It's a very nice day outside, sunny and warm. Despite this I find myself missing the days before global warming came along and we actually had proper seasons when you could tell the difference between spring, summer, autumn and winter around here.

How do you "make you own opportunities"?
None of it makes any sense.

True. Rather like how can something be both "new" and "improved"?

The jelly fish must not be good on toast...that's why there are still so many of them.

I was singing "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window" to my youngest, who is four, and she said, "That song make me mad." I asked why and she said, "Because you ask and ask and it never says how much the doggie is."

No more tighty whities for me: satin and lace will do fine, thanks.  :wink:

Have you worn them, though, Trevor? Satin undies are not as comfortable as they sound. They tend to slide when you sit because satin is so soft, and you're constantly having to sneak off and readjust them. And lace only lays right the first time it's worn. Save them for the bedroom, and in everyday life, cotton, baby, cotton...

I dress for comfort, not appearance...well, it's not like I have a great deal of choice in the matter...

I have worn undies like that a lot: actually quite comfortable, especially in winter.  :smile:

I have a special friend in my life who wears stuff like that every day: she once joked that she also wears high heels to bed.  :teddyr:

High heels to bed? Must go through a lot of torn sheets in a year.

That's what she told me: the heels for special moments only.  :teddyr:

Is the world strange,absurd and obtuse,or is it just me?

If I had to get pushed down an elevator shaft by someone, I'd want PBS Kids' Barney to do it.

Yes. To everything.

Once I had a chance to ride with a cop, and I didn't do it, but I wish I had, because then I'd be able to say, once I had a chance to ride with a cop, and I did.

I think there's something more life-affirming about being able to make a statement that relates to the affirmative, and obviously this isn't one of those since I am telling about something I did not do rather than something I did. I am not sure what I ended up doing in the space of time in which I would have been riding with the cop, it was possibly something nice enough, I doubt I regret it, but if I had gone riding with the cop, I would probably be able to recollect that space of time, it would stand out, and memories are the building blocks of life, or at least that's true if you're me. I do think it is largely experiences that make life more meaningful, not things, as in possessions. You own something, you use it, you tire of it, whatever, but to have a life experience, especially one of the positive, uplifting variety, well, that is immeasurably more meaningful both as it transpires and in remembrance.

So I sometimes think about passing up the opportunity to be in  a police car cruising with an officer, possibly partaking of free donuts, I don't know, but I also ask myself, why not find out if that program still exists, and the fact is there's something of acceptance of a missed opportunity there, and in removing that feeling of slight regret, I'm not certain it'd be a fair exchange, this potent sense of what-if replaced by what likely would be, what, like a four-hour dose of sitting in a moving car, shining spotlights on vagrants and being close-up while DUI tickets get written? Is that a fair trade for re-writing a personal engram?

Or maybe it would be.

Maybe the cop would be a deeply interesting human being, a swell sort of person I'd be glad I met. Maybe I'd watch in wonderment as the cop did something amazingly heroic (saving blind nuns and refugee babies from a bus wreck, for instance). That's the thing about life in general, you don't know until you do something what you're going to get out of the undertaking, and frankly it's the step into the unknown that makes life interesting.

And that brings me to an idea I think about almost as often as I do the what-if of the declined cop ride, and that thought is this: what if we exist simply to entertain God?

Might it be the idea that there exists so many variables in our individual existences that God looks on with curious glee to see what we'll do next?  Maybe that's why life is present, maybe we are simply vehicles to deliver a fix for boredom. Perhaps we are God's drug of choice. Maybe our wars and catastrophes, our chasing after dreams, our colorful smelling burps are all written into the program to be interesting to some higher force that  dwells "up there" fascinated by the Plinko chip-like randomness of the huge what-if of each of our lives. 

Who could have predicted a minor offshoot of a great family would become Caesar Augustus, or an abused little California girl would grow up to be Marilyn Monroe? Yet think how thrilled a divine observer might be to each development. Think how amusing it might be to toss a dust bowl at a nation's mid-section to see how people there would react. Think of the cure for boredom the retreat of the ice age might have provided, sparking 10,000 humans clutching the bare earth for dear life's sake to become 1,000,000 strong in a mere five millennia. Or the coming of the industrial age, how interesting that may have been.

It's like tipping over a chess board on a massive scale. What if this variable comes to be? What will happen next?

People seek the meaning of life, assuming with wonderful HUMAN optimism that it has a meaning, and perhaps it does, but what if maybe choice is the purpose of life itself, and the ripples making choices gives off are what makes it all so crazy fun amid the pain and torment and regret that nips at our heels from birth to the greatest mystery of them all, death? We must make choices, even choosing not to make choices is a choice, so just maybe....it all makes some degree of sense somehow that....we take chances, we make choices, we deal with the aftermath. We live our lives, in short. And in living our lives, we please something who wrote the program in which we all dwell.

So I think about that missed ride, and maybe it is a metaphor for...everything.

That is very profound, ER.

Thanks, it just sort of came to me spontaneously last night while I was here.

Only just recently dawned on me how cut-throat the arts are, & It's had me a bit discouraged.

Interesting.
For myself, I see mankind as God reproducing his own kind, and making us reproduce as we do, to force us to find out what he has to put up from us.
"Adam, Eve...think you know so much? Okay...for a set time, you are going to do things your own way...and I warn you what it'll be like. I want you to listen...but you have free will. So lets see what you do with it."
God don't have to 'play' with us. He's watching us do it do ourselves.

I would voluntarily eat a worm if it would do away with daylight saving time.

And I'd dig one up for you...preferable the one in a Tequila bottle.

So it's broad's day..
Some wore white to show solidarity with Tsarists & Klansmen...
Some wore red to show solidarity with Bolsheviks & Republicans...
Some wore purple to show solidarity with Prince fans & One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eaters...

That's why I thew on an outfit that used to be blue, until, in typical male fashion, I accidentally threw it in with a load of whites, causing it to become a sort of nondescript, yellowish shade of gray...

I tend to think events such as Women's Day are more divisive than unifying, and serve to stratify an already divided society. I also think men don't get enough credit in this era for their collective achievements, past and present, and the resentment many males are coming to feel over this is not unjustified. I wish there was a greater effort to unify instead of divide, to mark us as one species instead of subdividing us according to gender, race, nationality, income, epistemology, politics, or just about anything else. We all struggle to exist on a tiny speck of a planet surrounded by, in the words of Samuel Beckett, "the dark vast." Would that we would all pause and consider what delights and wonders we could achieve if we, seven billion strong, worked together. Perhaps there is an unseen Creator looking out for us. Perhaps not. Just maybe there are no guarantees and it's all up to us and us alone to secure our tomorrows, and forestall extinction.

In either case, we could do better.

! No longer available (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p86BPM1GV8M#)

Mercy Street's been cancelled after two seasons.
I think I'm the one guy in all of Richmond who's never seen, nor been an extra in a single episode.

Supposed to freeze these last eleven days of winter. Planting season isn't for another thirty-seven days.

We had our first baby goat of the season this evening!

Mazel tov, y'all!

Hey, Indy. Hear the radio interview you did. What is the current goat count now, excluding yourself, of course.

Counting the new kid, 18.

Where's my f**king swear jar?

Day after tomorrow, the banks & the post office will be closed, and my plants won't know the difference.

Can anyone help me?  :question:
I'm looking for some sort of pocket DVR I can line out my cameras to, preferably compatible to RCA inputs.
Unfortunately, all my searches keep leading to more cameras, the kind I wouldn't buy out of a gumball machine.  :hatred:
Any ideas? :question:

60's TV magic women votes
Jeannie ( I Dream of Jeannie) - Trump
Samantha (bewitched) - illary
Flying Nun - write in for Carson, Huckabee?

Dunno, I like Samantha over Jeannie, but I'd not have voted for Clinton. Incidentally, how come the men on your list get called by their last names and the woman by her first? I thought we settled that kind of sexism back in the OJ trial years when Judge Ito called the lead prosecutor "Marcia" instead of "Ms. Clark", even as he called the men by their last names?

I don't know their last names. That's what they were called on the show I mean geez

I think Samantha just  comes off more as a democrat. She seemed lke she kind of appealed to women more than Jeannie, who is like a pet and is married to a military guy. Flying Nun was the real wild card

LOL No, I meant the political candidates. "Hillary" as opposed to "Trump" "Carson" etc.

I think the answer to that is if you just say "Clinton", it begs the question: "Which one?"

I'm with her

 (https://fourthdimensionalrecovery.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/dreamofjeannie1.jpg)

Just messing with you, Lester. Interesting theories, actually.

Indy now has a new nickname...'old 18 goats.'  :cheers:

Up to 20 now! :bouncegiggle:

Them goats breed like...goats!

Chuck Berry & Chuck Barris in the same week...
Odd...

I'm going to be scarcer than usual for the next ten days while I work as a production assistant on a low-budget movie. 12 hour shifts with a 45-minute commute each way.

Good wishes.  :smile:

This may be the wrong location for this: I cannot imagine nobody caring about it!

Best of luck.  Tell us how it goes?

:hatred: lucky  :hatred:

You would not say that if you saw the pay. I'm losing money on the deal!

 :teddyr: You have money to lose on a deal? :teddyr:
 :hot: Could I interest you in a boom mic rental? :hot:
KitSplit (Prices Negotiable)
https://kitsplit.com/profile/lilcerberus/listings

It's warmer outside now than it is inside the house.

A. My friend's mother used to dislike me openly with a cold, barely contained contraction of sentiment that lasted a decade and a half.

B. Because she adores my daughter she is suddenly actually being warm to me.

So:

C. Clearly she plans to do away with me and replace me in my kid's life.

I can't find a flaw in my logic, can anyone?

The Barnum & Bailey train just hit a tractor-trailer in Nottoway County!

Seriously? Ow...
Don't go to any place named Stepford.

Just learned about ugly battle behind the 14th amendment...

Time for the VEDA challenge... 3:)

Once a few years ago I was at this berit milah starring an eight-day-old boy, and I noticed there was this group of Russian immigrant Jews standing back around the food tables, eating herring and honey cakes and cold cuts on rye like bears out of hibernation. They weren't even in the part of the room near where the main event was...coming off, they had their backs turned (which, you know, given the nature of the occasion was probably a good idea), shoveling in the food as fast as they could, chattering in Russian, beady-eyed and furtive while all the American Jews and their goyim guests hung back, waiting for the polite time to eat.

So I turned to my friend and whispered, "Who are those people?"

She was like, "No idea."

"You don't know them?"

"No."

"Does anybody know them?"

"Probably not."

Then it hit me like a wave from on high, a sure-fire screenplay I was going to write: Bris Crashers!

BRIS CRASHERS!
 :bouncegiggle: Gotta love it.

I just signed up for Amazon Prime.
The grocery service isn't available in this area (23234).
Go figure.
God, I loathe this town!

My sleep's been all screwed up lately, and that little old lady next door who just lost her husband has been firing up her lawn  mower at 6:00am the last two days...

Shame you don't live in Texas. In Texas you can legally shoot someone who "needs killin'." (That's why I had to get out of Austin.)

My, but the toilet moss is colorful this season.

I beg my innocence, I had nothing to do with that.  :wink:

You know what'd be a strange chain of events? Some man goes into his bathroom and sees he's out of toilet paper, so he reaches into the cabinet to get more, and hooks his index finger into the hole in the toilet paper, and inside is a black widow spider, which bites him, and he loses the top half of that finger. So he's mad at life about that, and when people ask how he lost his finger, he tells them, but they laugh, thinking he's making a joke. He gets angrier and angrier about this until one day someone laughs, and the man picks up the first thing he can grab, which happens to be a misshapen coconut, and hits the other man in the head. He is arrested for battery, goes to jail and serves eleven weeks, gets out, can't get a job, loses everything, takes the most bleak and soul-sucking task known to man, telemarketing for a funeral home, and finds life so filled with despair he decides to end it all by leaping in front of a train. He walks to the tracks and finds a dollar on the ground, and figures what the hey, one last throw of the dice for the heck of it, and he buys a lottery ticket, which wins, giving the man forty-two million dollars after taxes. He then decides to dedicate part of his winnings to funding a scientist who claims he can create a virus that will eradicate black widows from the planet. In fact the scientist's virus works so well it doesn't just kill off black widows alone, it wipes out arachnids planetwide, with the result that since one-half of all insectoid biomass passes through spiders' digestive tract, insects now overrun the world, destroying crops, spreading diseases, causing famine, plague, and ensuing resource-wars. One day a UN task force set up to trace the cause for the global catastrophe follows the trail back to the lottery winner missing half an index finger, and puts him on trial for crimes against Earth and all its denizens. He is convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment. In his cell he finds he is out of toilet paper, so reaches for a spare roll (the UN considering it cruel not to keep its prisoners well-supplied with TP) and inside is a Maricopa harvester ant, which bites his left index finger, causing the man to lose it. In anguish he spills to the floor of the prison clinic and weeps, asking God why has his life been so filled with torment. He then strokes out and dies, meets his creator who explains that in the life before last he used to be person who coined the phrase, "Have A Nice Day" and the only appropriate punishment the universe could devise for the life form behind the invention of a saying that brought so much annoyance to so many was that he experience an unending series of particularly bad incarnations.

Be strange, huh?

Why aren't you writing original screenplays for movies?

Oh, right, Hollywood doesn't do "original" anymore.

Huh. Apparently you aren't allowed to use the word "wanker" in a review on Amazon.com.

I liked it better when reruns of MST3K were cut up into one hour weekly segments, & each segment was introduced by that creepy guy from World At War.

An old friend wrote me three times today; someone else who goes even farther back forgave my recent awfulness to him by saying what I did didn't actually bother him in the first place; another friend's book went live on Amazon, and already has a five-star review; I made a good commission on a sale this afternoon; my little girl and I are going someplace special in a bit; my old dog hasn't limped from hurt hips in four days; it's seventy and sunny, and I am happy!

After going through two Nostalgia Electronics hot dog rollers, I just got one of these things;

https://www.cuisinart.com/discontinued/grills/gc-15.html (https://www.cuisinart.com/discontinued/grills/gc-15.html)

Trying to figure out what I can do with a griddle. Been doing hot dogs for so long. I don't even mess with the microwave or the toaster oven any more, just the hot dog roller.

My mom still has this paper I wrote when I was in second grade and the teacher asked us to tell which jobs we thought were good and which were bad. I wrote that priests and garbage men had it made, because they both seemed to work just one day a week, and I felt bad for "the" phone operator, because she always had to be there in case someone called. I also said I'd be scared to be a doctor, because when you hit someone's knee with the little hammer, they might kick you.

I think Toasted Cheez-Its is the best flavor behind original Cheez-its.

I think gravity takes me fro granted...and after all I give it...

That all sounds about right to me. 

Ungh!
First we're told "Mother Of All Bombs" (not It's real name) is sexist, then somebody tells me Moab is one of Lot's inbred sons....
This week just keeps getting weirder...

Well, in the Old Testament Moab WAS one of Lot's inbred sons.

I can see the tasteless and incredibly predictable SNL skit already... :lookingup:

Ducks tend to remain in the water when it rains, as if enchanted. Rain tends to make them passive and unresponsive to anything outside of themselves.

WWJD? for a Klondike Bar.

A couple of weeks ago I was attending an intel brief being given by someone who has the ear of the Trump administration. Of all the things I could have asked like how if things went badly wrong would they counter the Russian S400 air defence, or if he really thought that preparing to refight the last big war was the best way to prepare for the next one, what I really, really wanted to ask was with Linda McMahon being given a position in the administation was there any chance the WWE was going to put on any shows from the White House? Didn't get a chance to ask it though. :(

Well, since I began my bad movie odyssey, Overdrawn At the Memory Bank aint half as bad as some of the crap I've sat through.

Like people on cells phones.

I think our beagle Ernie is gay. He lives with our female dog, Chocolate, and shows zero interest in her, but the minute he sees another male dog, zoom, a-humpin' he goes with a definite "oh-yes-oh-yes"expression on his face. They try to say male dogs hump other male dogs for reasons of dominance, but I think it's homophobia to say animals can't be Pals With Dorothy. Besides, he really likes sequin collars.

I can see this as the next Pixar movie: The Corgi with a Difference.

I say we bugger the planet silly for Earth Day, just to show her who's boss. Let's make the ghost of Chief Seattle cry!

Erf Day. I used to loathe biodegradable flowerpots because they came apart too easy, but I'm warming up to them. It's a lot easier to tell when a plant is getting potbound, and they're a lot easier on a potbound plant.

Now, I need to learn more about dirt.

RIP Erin Moran

I can't abide being treated like a pound of porridge.

Transcription is tedious.

I just found out it was Denim Day.
When I was a kid, My parents woulda' had a conniption fit, no matter what the socio political cause. They HATED denim.

I was not allowed to wear denim jeans to school.  Horrors!   My mother was born in the 1930's.  Poor kids wore denim (according to her) and it was desperately important to her that we not wear it.  We could afford better and having achieved that was a big deal.  Denim was for labourers.  The drive to distance oneself from that can run deep.  Different worlds.

My mom wouldn't explain that until I was in my early 20s. Before that, I thought they were just being stuck up like they were about everything else.
Fourteen or forty, your parents will always be from another planet...

I'll never understand how previous generations survived those itchy, scratchy, sweaty, uncomfortable, irritating polyester slacks...

Happie Arbor Day!

Still shopping Ebay, & I still don't see what good Amazon Prime is...

Amazon Prime. Ain't that where Captain Kirk got his first STD?

Why is it my adult pix clubs stopped sending me pictures of nude women, and have started sending me pictures of clothed women manhandling nude men?

What, do they think I've had that surgery or something?

Yeah, I went there!
Let the Boos come rolling in!

Anybody know a good, inexpensive way to get started in Stereo Photography?

Wow. I have 9 copyright claims on my most recent Youtube upload. Folks in Spain are blocked from viewing it. At least no one will make money off of it. Ah, the joys of age restricting your videos on Youtube!

"There is no sex in Hell."

Pizza is delicious.

Keep hearing the lyric in "Under Pressure" as

"Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a bench, like a dumbf**k."

You are welcome.

Does anybody know if I need a special kind of permit for a FLIR camera?

I just bought a brush axe on Ebay... It's kinda like a kaiser blade, or a ditch bank blade... Now, My Ebay feed is recommending bridal gown accessories...

National Star Wars Day!
How come I didn't get the memo?

Dunno, man, I gave it to Jar-Jar to give to you and said take it right straight over...what could go wrong with that?

@NancyPelosi Did ya ever ask where people like me are gonna come up with $1,400 a year?
How in the Hell is this a "Tax Break For The Rich?"

BTW, It's also National Prayer Day...
At least one of mine was answered!

Okay... I need to learn to distinguish conifers...

I dont' trust conifers...they talk behind your back, then spread your secrets Allll over the forest.

So conifers are like the teenage girls of the forest, eh?

Today is Kentucky Derby day, which means just one thing in my life: my uncle's party.

I guess he's not really my uncle, since he was married to my father's second-oldest sister, my (least favorite) aunt, and they got divorced years ago, but he is two of my cousins' father, and a really nice guy, so he invites us each year, and usually we go.

He invariably greets us at his door, beams ear to ear with a warm smile, tells us how happy he is we're there, and I wear an oversized hat, discreetly hang out, see the famous people he's also invited, big-wigs among Democrats, their hands always out for contributions-cum-bribes, some surprisingly upper-echelon celebrities sometimes, my uncle's Dorian Gray wife, who ages perhaps even less each year than my supernatural mother does (honestly, try being her daughter and having to live up to this woman who is almost freaking sixty and gets mistaken for my sister, I'm proud of her but it gets old....she is not normal, I tell you).

I think today he has a tribute for his late pseudo-friend John Glenn coming, complete with a Marine Corps band, which is a nice touch. In his younger days John Glenn would play golf with my uncle, my uncle would write him fat campaign checks and get certain metaphorical doors opened for him, get his radio stations licensed a little faster. It's how it works in that 1% of American life most people truly don't believe even exists, yet does....oh, how it does.

My cousin, who is much like an older sister to me in many ways----she used to try to scare me off sex and drugs, even as she told me incredibly tantalizing stories about her involvement in both---gets me to choke down a mint julep every Derby day, a foul concoction that makes me feel like my stomach is trying to come out my contorted face. I writhe, she chuckles and tries to hand me another, but, no, one is 100% more than my limit, thanks.

The race itself is a little over two minutes in length, so you have to invent things for people to do the other four hours they're in attendance, too early in the season to swim in this part of the country, even in a heated pool, too wet today to be out on the lawn (because that's what my uncle has "a lawn" not a "yard" like we mere mortals have). So he has a string quartet on hand, loaned out from the local chamber orchestra which he underwrites, a rock band, the aforementioned Marine Corps band, a comic, who knows what else. Plus he'll meet 'n greet, and I don't think any person on the planet, including my aunt, his mean ex-wife (who has a deep grudge against me she's nursed since I let loose with a very public lapse in judgment in 1995) dislikes my uncle in the slightest, he truly is a good soul, generous, kind, friendly, faithful to his wife (though what man wouldn't be, she looks like a supermodel) so the time will be filled in conversation if nothing else. When it's my turn to have a few minutes with him, he'll likely call me this nickname he has since I was little "Ellie Two Shoes" and maybe this will finally be the year I get to the bottom of the mystery of why he's always called me that: doesn't everybody wear two shoes?

My uncle, ex-uncle, never-was-uncle, whatever, let's just say uncle, he makes me laugh and always has. He has an interesting life story. He comes from very old Deep South money, raised Catholic in a city that's 90% Baptist, and moved up here from Alabama to go to college and then stayed around, except the part of the year he lives in Aruba, where his (second) wife, who has citizenship in the Netherlands is more or less from. He barely sounds like he's from Alabama, except when he wants to, talking as he sometimes does about the football team there, which he calls simply "the Tide" and then he'll affect a nasal-less accent that surely, SURELY does not really exist under the skies of God's blue Earth.

So that's my day, a party at his house, which might properly be called an estate (must be interesting to be so rich) and maybe I'll even manage to see this two minute horse race at the Kentucky Derby party, who knows. In the meantime, I try to smile, stay out of most people's way, and do my best not to gawk at money on display amid people who probably never had to do their own taxes in their whole life.

Poor me, eh?

I went to early morning Mass today with my oldest, who is determined to turn Papist next Easter Vigil, and while I prefer to sit in the back, preferably with a nice assassination-preventing wall behind me (I worry I might get into politics in some twisted future when time travel is invented and a stalker might come for me in the here and now), we always sit up front because the people we meet there seem to want to be close to the altar, and anyway, there is this old lady who sits ahead of us like her name is engraved on the pew, and this cheerfully sweet old dear wears the same hat every week, a hat so big it'd be a bit much even by Kentucky Derby standards---seriously, Cad Bane would say that's a big hat---so it's kind of like a minor contest each Sunday among the six of us to see who winds up behind the hat lady.

Well today it was me, and I was looking forward, 7 AM, mind drifting (sorry about that, Jesus) and I saw out of the corner of my eye that the crown of the hat was...moving. I focused my eyes and atop this hat was a bee walking across the fake flowers above it, mostly hanging on, moving slowly, but, yes, a real live bee.

I was stumped, what to do, interrupt her obvious reverie or risk her getting stung? What if she was allergic? Oh, gosh, scary thought.

I decided I'd watch the bee, and if she (for basically any bee you ever see is female) looked like she was going to fly down onto the old lady, I'd tell the old lady about it.

This vigil went on for probably half the Mass, and this was a High Mass, not one of those wussy little in-and-out weekdays Masses, so we're talking an investment of time here. The lady'd stand up, the bee would hold on. She'd sit, the bee would hold on. She'd kneel (because God cannot hear a sitting Catholic's prayers, just a fact) and the bee would still hang on. Cold morning here for May, so I assume the bee was slow-moving, though perhaps she just liked where she was.

Finally it was the part of the Mass where people assemble to take Communion, and being, according to Catholic reckoning, neck-deep in Mortal Sin, I honor the tradition by not going up and partaking, so I had to watch this old lady with the bee in her bonnet go up and I thought, well if this doesn't make the bee take off, nothing will. But I was wrong, when she came back and knelt down for a meditative moment after eating Jesus up there, I saw there was that determined little six-legger, still on her hat.

By this time I'd taken quite the attachment to the bee and wished her well, and I knew from biology that if I shooed the bee off the lady, likely the bee would be unable to find her way back to her hive, so I decided since the insect had done its human host no harm for the past hour, chances were it might be all right after that on the homeward drive.

So the Mass ended ("...go in peace to love and serve the Lord...." "....thanks be to God....") and I watched the sweet old dear leave church and I can only hope she transported the bee all the way back home where she flew off with a story for her sisters in the colony somewhere on the east side of town, and that my apis-friendly decision did not result in the old lady getting stung in route and causing a massive ten-car pileup as she writhed in shock at her sudden burning agony.

My morning thus far: playing God.

Soul-shredding evening yesterday that made me question everything about myself and my life, sat up thinking almost all night and that segued into a bad morning capped by a downer conversation, still went into work today, got b***hed at by my boss, almost quit, haven't so far because he was technically right, keep thinking, though, that there is a constant offer for another job I could take for easily triple the money although with someone with whom I have a deeply weird personal history, I also find myself wanting to tell off my father for ruining my life by setting me on a bad career path when I was seventeen, I'm also married to someone who is either doing something altruistic or damning and which is now drawing in our oldest daughter which is getting deeply into my head today, and I keep wondering, I really, really keep wondering, is it morally wrong to be angry at a dying person at the heart of much of this, even if she has never exactly wronged me?

If the person is manipulating events, then, hell yes, be angry at them. If the events are unfolding without manipulation, then be angry at the situation.

If someone is dying, it does NOT give them the right to control others.

I hate insomnia.

Me too. Just the thought of insomnia keeps me up at night.

The Iowa towns of DeWitt and Clinton are named after 19th century New York Governor DeWitt Clinton.

It does suck.
On the other hand, you eventually figure out where to find the best sandwich at four in the morning.

I still need to consult a plumber & decide between the Kohler Wellworth/ Wellworth Classic, and the Project Source Standard...

Was having a BBQ on my birthday round at my brothers and my 8 year old nephew asked me to go in the pool with him. Asked my wife to put sun cream on my back. There were two bottles on the table, one was water proof stuff, the other one wasn't. Guess which one she put on me?

Possible tornadoes today. Business as usual in late springtime in the American Midwest.

Speaking as a person with mild autism, Dylann Roof has just admitted, in a really weird way, that he is one retarded dude!

Yeah, I went there!
Let the Boos come Rolling in!

I feel like I've been getting assaulted by morning people lately...

7-11 needs to bring back their Salted Caramel flavored coffee, cuz that stuff was da BOMB.

Yeah...lack of caffeine brings out the original Godzilla in all of us.

RIP Powers Boothe

I just discovered that for years, I've been confusing Michael Ironside and John Saxon with The Late Powers Boothe...

Okay, I'll make a deal with ya'! You can get rid of all the Civil War memorials & statues, And turn all the cities into Sanctuary Cities IF AND ONLY IF you bring back The Volstead Act!

Ever wonder how I have the time to write such long f**king posts on here?

A. My child's naptime when I have to be quiet.

B. A job that combines busy-ness with long periods of having nothing to do.


And as for why I write long posts on here even with the opportunities arising?

A. Insanity.

(That is all.)

I must complete the Yearbook today, at least the Kindle version. No excuses!

I finished the Kindle submit and swam my first laps of the year. I've earned a little treat. Hillbilly heroin, here I come!

My turtles need a bath.

First load of laundry in months, done.
 Expecting a new toilet tomorrow.

RIP Chris Cornell

Funny how the passing of Roger Ailes is getting more press, yet more people care about the passing of Chris Cornell...

I don't know about that, I had no idea who Chris Cornell was until today. Depends on your age bracket and interests, I guess.

Same here. And after listening to "Black Hole Sun", I understand why I wouldn't remember it or the singer.

Yeah, BOO me all you want. Nobody is greater than Slim Whitman, folks!

It's probably those ten years I spent at WRIR 97.3fm, getting to know all those musicians, DJs, critics, & others who hate me & everything I stand for...

http://youtu.be/zkC0xYhtGTU/ (http://youtu.be/zkC0xYhtGTU/)

Reduce children, reduce crime!

FACT: 100% of criminals ARE CURRENTLY NOW OR WERE ONCE CHILDREN!!!!!!

The people who operate this website strike me as very sane:

https://scarfolk.blogspot.com/2017/05/children-cause-of-all-crime.html

People are picking on Melania Trump for not wearing a headscarf on her visit to the Arab world, citing possible offense given through her omission, and one question I'd like to ask those who vicariously complain on behalf of the Arabs: do Arab women remove their headscarves when they come to the West, so as not to offend us?

"I only watch the news for the weather report, and they're  not even honest about THAT."

It is always the civilized who must alter their behavior and dress to avoid offending barbarians.

Been abusing my meds again... Gonna be dealing with that over the coming days. Need to figure out a way to get a grip on that, and those old demons. Clowns never really bothered me; It's "Normal" people that make me cringe.

Bit horse today from thinking I could shout back at bad memories.
Really.
Been a strange month.

Every so often I just google random words and phrases in an attempt to mess up their algorithyms for targetted advertising.

Apparantly this is working perhaps a but too well, although I cannot think which combination of things I have searched for could possibly have let them to target dating websites for people looking for single male muslims at me.

I've been playing with new things. Computer things...be very, very worried.
(http://)

Was a lovely day today, so I decided to put in a days leave and spend it with the wife. We went for a walk along the harbour, took some pictures of the beach and sea, went to a cafe for lunch and then strolled along the waters edge eating ice creams. Today was a good day. Nothing complicated, just spending time with each other and enjoying it. It amazes me more and more every day that even after more than four years we still seem to be in the honeymoon period.

Decided to use an online page to start up a D&D campaign with some friends scattered over Europe. Would much rather be a player than the DM, but I am writing a campaign just now (in between popping onto other pages) and watching fantasy films to keep me in the right frame of mind (Dungeons & Dragons 3: The Book Of Vile Darkness at the moment).

RIP Gregg Allman

About sixteen years ago I knew a woman from France who told me she switched dentists recently, and I could tell she wanted me to ask, "Oh, yeah, how come?" so I did and I'd say she had a pretty good reason since her former dentist was arrested in connection with murdering at least six and possibly nine young women over the course of I forget how many years, but it was spread out a bit.

I asked if the dentist was creepy and she said not at all, he was the warmest, nicest person ever, except in retrospect he'd do two odd things. One was he seemed to really like to feel your pulse at your neck with his bare fingertips, and the other was he'd personally call your house to check on you if he'd done a procedure on you that day, and then ask if your doors were locked, because he said he did neighborhood watch volunteer work in his own community and cared about his patients' safety!

Whoa.

Not all service personnel gave their lives in combat... Some were killed in testing, training & transit.

After at least twenty-five years of watching & rewatching Zardoz, I finally figured out what a Webley-Fosbery automatic revolver is...

And, now that I know what a Webley-Fosbery automatic revolver is, I kinda don't see the point. I mean, semi-automatic pistols & double-action revolvers had already been around a while.

Besides, for a gun, it seems something of a clunky novelty...

Proof of the wise saying "Just because you can do something, does not mean you have to do it."

P.S. LilCerb...RE: you post above. Do you listen to Dennis Prager? He mentioned that in his Memorial day show.

 :buggedout: :buggedout:

Was it this guy?

(https://www.filmlinc.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/marathonman2-1600x900-c-default.jpg)

Helpful hint: If ever you need to buy your daughter a black dress so your husband can take her to California with him for the funeral of a woman with whom he used to be in love, just buy the girl a black dress and bring it back to her, don't take her to a boutique and let her pick out her own or you'll stand around for an hour while she tries on every one in the shop, then spend another hour arguing with her about why the one she likes is not the one she should wear, then spend another hour driving home to a wall of silence from her because the one you bought her is the one she wanted least. (I'm at step two now with step three to look forward to.) As I was just telling the owner here, she's eight. Imagine when we clash over clothes when she's about thirteen.

Anyone wanna take over for a while? She cleans her room, speaks French, uses sign language, plays piano, makes good grades and plays soccer like I had a fling with Landon Donovan. She has bad fashion sense, though, and isn't very nice to her mother sometimes....

Umm...if I, say, "accidentally" sold her to a grandmother in need of a child to pamper, would I have to split that money with you?  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

What kinda money we talking 'bout?

Sorry, I just found out that when the old lady said she was gonna pay in cookies, it wasn't some weird slang for money. What am I gonna do with 50,000 freaking cookies? Deal's off.

I wonder what Jill Greenberg thinks of Kathy Griffin.
Seriously.

Aaanndd now, I'm wondering what Gabriel Range & Simon Finch Think of Kathy Griffin...

Anybody remember how Gabriel Range & Simon Finch won an award for their depiction of a dead George W. Bush, but you couldn't make a crack about some primate that had recently passed away or needed to be put down without being accused of making some sort of threat against the Bamster?

So, I keep seeing this article pop up saying Maza plans to bring back the wankel sometime in the next decade...

I just saw The Fast And The Furious 6 (I think it was 6).

It really bugs me how those old "Cash For Clunkers" ads feature all the exact same kind of "classic" cars they buy at that auction in London.

Since my husband is out of town, I slept with two people last night, and one of them was a girl.   :cheers:




Fortunately they're only six and five, and I'm sort of related to both of them. Funny how you get used to not sleeping alone, isn't it?

I find the words 'Fling Twaddle Wombat' a very useful phrase when startled.

So, apparently, there were two music groups from the 1980s called "The Firm". One featured Paul Rodgers, Jimmy Page, Chris Slade, and Tony Franklin. The other one did Star Trekkin'.

Went to the hardware store to buy some bricks & a thatch rake.

As I was passing through the garden section, it occurred to me, that in a weird way, the specific selection of flowers they had smelled kinda like meat.

Though today was nice and tomorrow should also be fun, everyone here (average age 5.5) is asleep, no one anywhere else is home from Maine to Texas, I have nothing I want to read or watch or write, I can't go anywhere, and I am a little bored (gee, El, really????) and I fear insomnia lies ahead of me tonight.

Under the floorboards
Yesteryear's dust lies keening
Like maddened treefrogs.

I am so lost tonight I am spewing haiku.....

I just farted

Good to know I'm not the only one... :lookingup:

eat sh!t

I think my thumb is plotting against me . . .

The dog said 'Ah,ha."
Raymond Burr faced Godzilla.
The dog was impressed.

d-day... Normandy landings... Not on my calendars for some reason...

It gripes me that so few people care today. Do anyone (Besides Indy) teach history correctly any more?

It's kinda hard to imagine that a cartoon character created by a misogynistic psychologist & bigamist in the 1940s has since  become a feminist icon...

Matcha makes me feel like someone has replaced the bones in my skull with glass.

RIP Adam West

Not sure what to make of this; I just heard voters in Puerto Rico just voted 97% for U.S. Statehood, but only 23% of voters showed up to vote...

I been thinking about that and I'm not sure the Republican Congress will allow heavily Democratic Puerto Rico into the union without internecine warfare in the aisles. (Not a topic I'm wanting to start, just a thought I had when I heard about the vote.)

My actual random statement is: I think my years of Chap Stick addiction have left my lips unable to form any natural moisture.

Then it's time for the hard candies, like older people use to keep their mouths moist. A moist mouth means a damp tongue to keep those lips moist.

To all the people creeped out by the word "moist"  -- moistmoistmoistmoistmoistmoistmoistmoistmoistmoistmoistmoist.   :teddyr:  :tongueout: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

I think it's the essence of wetness, isn't it?

The SAC (airforce equivilent of a private) I am working with on guard got told by a Warrant Officer (as high as you can go in the ranks as a non commissioned officer) to have his hair cut by tomorrow night (since we are working nights). He went to explain to the Warrant that he had been planning to get it done when he finished guard duty at the end of the week. The Warrant told him he wasn't interested in excuses, just to get it done before the next shift to which thinking he was being funny replied "Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir".

I then had to explain the SAC later, that this particular Warrant Officer was so old school he was practically fossilized, and gave him some career advice about not joking around with Warrants like that unless you know them very, very well indeed. I also explained that this Warrant is the one in charge of manning on camp and decides where you go and when you go there, which is you are someone who is about to go away on a promotion course and hope to return to this base afterward rather than being posted elsewhere... well this was the last guy you want to p**s off.

Anyway, he decided to go for a haircut as soon as the barbers opened this morning and then go up to the Warrant's office and apologise. Will be interesting to see how that goes for him when I go back on shift tonight.

Up to my ears in hock...
New toilet, two different plumbers, because the first one didn't know what he was doing...
New eyeglasses, & I had to get a new prescription because the old one expired...
New A/C for the car today, & my mom got talked into replacing the one for my house...
Still not through paying for this stuff... https://kitsplit.com/profile/lilcerberus/listings/

Still not as bad as that year I had possums...

Okay, so... I've got Watergate, The OJ Simpson chase, and the Charleston Massacre...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_17 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_17)
https://www.brainyhistory.com/days/june_17.html (https://www.brainyhistory.com/days/june_17.html)
https://www.google.com/search?num=100&newwindow=1&site=&q=June+17&oi=ddle&ct=user-birthday-5656109189693440-lawcta&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjU27DYxsTUAhXMPT4KHdDNCnMQPQgG&biw=1118&bih=621&dpr=1 (https://www.google.com/search?num=100&newwindow=1&site=&q=June+17&oi=ddle&ct=user-birthday-5656109189693440-lawcta&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjU27DYxsTUAhXMPT4KHdDNCnMQPQgG&biw=1118&bih=621&dpr=1)

I only recognize a few of these people...
https://www.google.com/search?num=100&newwindow=1&sa=X&biw=1118&bih=621&q=june+17+famous+birthdays&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLQz9U3MDHILVOCs7REs5Ot9LML4nPK9VMSS1KtkjKLSjKKAcOaRJwtAAAA&ved=0ahUKEwiC67DfxsTUAhWGZj4KHaGjD9IQMQjTBSgAMHk (https://www.google.com/search?num=100&newwindow=1&sa=X&biw=1118&bih=621&q=june+17+famous+birthdays&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLQz9U3MDHILVOCs7REs5Ot9LML4nPK9VMSS1KtkjKLSjKKAcOaRJwtAAAA&ved=0ahUKEwiC67DfxsTUAhWGZj4KHaGjD9IQMQjTBSgAMHk)

https://open.spotify.com/user/12123460900/playlist/2TclL0YtSnZ7iJa6MT0Gx8 (https://open.spotify.com/user/12123460900/playlist/2TclL0YtSnZ7iJa6MT0Gx8)

Actually managed to sit down and plan out my upcoming D&D campaign. It's going to start them saving a village from a pack of wild dogs that have been attacking the settlement. During the course of the adventure the party  may or may not discover the villagers lynched the owner of a small farm and its his dogs that have been attacking people out of starvation. They should hopefully also discover a magical item that will lead them onto the overarching plot line.

Who am I kidding? The party will go on a killing spree at the first mention of an NPC then turn into pyromaniacs as soon as they can get their hands on a fireball spell.

RIP Stephen Furst

My father drank himself to death in 1999.
The other day, my sister cropped me out of a picture of him for fathers' day...

Yaaaay, today I get to mind the shop all alone! My inner Dwight Schrute, prepare to run wild! Half-ply toilet paper in the restrooms, firings left and right, and beets in the vending machines!

Dwight Schlutz? Ah, Mad Dog Murdock! I appreciate your plans, BTW. Excelsior!

Still have no idea what elevated calcium means...

May everyone have a great day as you choose to define it, quiet walk in the woods, a bad movie, lunch with an old friend, leather chaps and the twelfth chapter of 50 Shades, I don't judge. The new interns have arrived, prim as Victorian governesses, lax as salaried salespeople, young as the first ray of winter sunrise, little memories stretching only back to the second Bush years, so like an Ann Taylor-clad drill sergeant, I am off to send them into the salt mines....

Perfect time to work on the evil laugh. BWA-HAHAHAHAHAH (ect,ect)

RIP Michael Bond

Thursday June 29, 1995

The Sears men brought the new dishwasher today and installed it and took out the old one, and Charlotte Sometimes and I watched them do it, offered them something to drink, and mostly stayed out of their way. There was a middle-aged black man who didn’t say much, and a moon-faced man a few years older than me, who had receding mousey brownish hair and talked a little more, and ALMOST reminded me he was vaguely retarded. I like the chrome finish of the new machine, and it reminds me of Allie’s kitchen. I put on some dishes as soon as they left.

Dad called at lunch and I told him how it went, he said good. He said (how did I miss this) he left me a blank check in the hutch and if I felt like it I could go grocery shopping. So I got that and changed into a better top and skirt and went to Krogers and loaded up on everything. I think I like grocery shopping as well as any other kind of shopping because it amazes me that all this stuff from the ends and edges of the earth can be brought here to Ohio and be there for us to buy, and not be a lot more money than they are. 

Mostly I just got normal stuff but I did do this one impulse buy. They had big bath towels on sale for $2.99 each, and I saw this one that was this perfect blood red. Dead on like blood. The other reds weren’t this same shade, so I bought it and it’s in my bathroom on the rack, and seriously, it looks like a cascade of blood is flowing over the bar and hanging in mid-air. It’s the most startling hue of red. I don’t want it to fade.

Oh, boy, this is making me sound demented, isn’t it? Well I see that color as life-affirming instead of morbid, K?

Walking Charlotte to the park between rains after I got home, I saw a baby robin hopping semi-flightless along the grass, so I picked it up and set it up onto a tree branch and I hope it stays there, because it reminds me it’s only hours from mastering short hop-flights.

Brian called and I was at first wanting to strategize and try to gang up so we could handle him coming here, but he said, “Just relax, will you? What’ll be will be. I’m who I am, he knows a lot already anyway. I think this is more of a formality than you think it is.”

I wonder how he ever got to have that confidence in himself he does? Maybe it comes from having a younger sibling. I wish we could get this out of the way and move forward.

Made dinner, went up to the park again, rain made us come back early. Saw some show about fifty years of female comics, but only halfway watched it while I talked to Allie, who said she is now back to two days for her sobriety, but she “only” drank three vodka and OJs, before she stopped and poured the pitcher out and called her sponsor, so it wasn’t what she called a “major recursion.” I told her well done and good luck, and she kept coming back to it instead of other topics so we talked about that, mostly, except she got hired at Blockbuster and that was making her feel up tonight. I asked if it might help her if she had someone in her life who cared about her, and she said Julia, her sponsor does, and I said, no, like in a relationship, and she said, “Ellie, I am not in a place in my life for one of those.”

My poor damaged little cousin. I swear it seems like I am older than her in most ways.

With all this crap about rewriting the history of the American Civil War, It occurs to me that no one's ever really talked about how the Commonwealth Of Virginia became two completely different states...

I think CNN's just upset because they didn't come up with the idea first.
http://youtu.be/SXWVpcypf0w (http://youtu.be/SXWVpcypf0w)

I am really beginning to dread weekends & holidays...

How is this 47 pages long?!

Because people keep posting random statements on it.

But they are random statements about things no one should care about. Well, supposed to be.

Example: Raylan Givens liked blue better than red.

Who the hell is Raylan Givens, and why should I care what his favorite color is?

Bad example: I've cut myself, and it won't stop bleeding.

Random, yes, but worrisome and should be a cause for concern.

This has been a PSA from your friendly local Thread Nazi.

Antibiotics... I wonder what it is about doctors, that they're so anxious to stick children with needles, yet they're more insistent on giving pills to grown ups...

What can you expect from a profession that (according to a JAMA article in 1988) kills more Americans every year than anything except heart disease and strokes.

I can't stop chewing my fingernails...just glad I stop before they bleed.

Always something about replacing an old vinyl record or 4 track audio cassette with an old compact disk on the reason that the artist or record label decided not to re-release it on MP3...

I bet Billy Graham on crack would've made for a mighty interesting crusade.

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!! That Jerk Kept Preempting Earth2!
 :hatred: :hatred: :hatred: :hatred: :hatred: :hatred: :hatred: :hatred:

I'm getting old... and alone... and I haven't done much with my life... All my dreams are starting to depress me.

Make new ones. Smaller, perhaps, but fairly easy to achieve.

And discard the linear thought process now and then. It inhibits dreams with things like logic and process. Let your dreams flow until they find that one crack in the wall you are trying to breach, then fill that crack and chip away. Even if you never make it all the way through, at least you made progress and hopefully gained wisdom, friends, and proud memories.

Y'know I've often thought watching people who were on drugs was more fun than being on drugs.

I wonder if I had a youtube channel and kept constantly mentioned "Chez-Its" for no reason if they (either Nabisco or my fans) would start sending me Chez-Its for no reason.

Either way, it'd be a win, win!

Depends of the drugs and the people.  :teddyr: :teddyr: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:  :cheers:

Or they'd get a court order blocking you from mentioning, referencing, showing, and/or alluding to Chez-Its.

Umm, yeah. Down with the, ah, corp...corporations. Man. Groovy?

I'll just show myself out now.

It appears that the Great Goat Holocaust of 2017 has come to an end.

In retrospect, I should probably take my meds before listening to RADIO GAGA by Queen...

Had to go over to the other side of Scotland for a funeral last week. Took a scenic route rather than the most direct one, taking Kristi from Inverness, down through the Great Glen through to Fort William. Wasn't the best weather for it, but the mist and fog did make the highlands look more dramatic. It's a drive I've wanted to take Kristi on since I met her. All was great until I got down to Loch Lomand, where its a fairly narrow two lane road around the Loch edge. Lots of trucks that were too big just to stay on their side of the road had me convinced I was going to hit the wall on my side of the road trying to avoid them, but got down to my mums safely in the end. In the future, I think I'll be taking the more direct route however, via Perth.

Had to fit in going to my youngest nephews (on my side of the family) 6th birthday party, my uncle's funeral, going to see my half brother and sister, as well as making sure my aunt was ok. It was a busy four days. I guess it was a nice service. I've never been to a funeral where I've liked the eulogy, but I figure that's just a me thing and maybe more to do with not liking funerals and as long as it helps my aunt I guess that its a good thing. Brian was one of my favourite uncles and I'll miss him when I visit Stevenston in the future. 47 years married... seems such a waste of life and experience when someone is gone. Wore my dress uniform for it, more for the family because it means more to them. Given the choice I'd have prefered a suit, but again if it helps Gina then I can do that for her.

Went into town to pick up some stuff and wandered through the weekend market. No where near as many stalls as their used to be when I was a boy, but one guy had a stall selling second hand records and DVD's. Spent a bit of time chatting with him, turns out he knows his obscure horror movies, although he didn't currently have anything I am looking for in stock. Did pick up Watership Down. From Russia With Love, On Her Majesties Secret Service, Spirited Away, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, The Creature Below, Send Me No Flowers, The World Is Not Enough, Tomorrow Never Dies, A Cure For Wellness, Dr No, Hidden Figures, Zombiesaurus, The Commancheros, The Undefeated and North To Alaska. Would have bought more, but I wasn't really in the right mood to look through everything he had.

Took our new pet rabbits with us since we didn't have time when we were packing to sort out someone to feed them while we were away and I didn't want to leave them for four days with a pile of food and just hope they rationed themselves (not going to happen). Somehow, we have managed to gain a kitten which we'll be getting next month. When it comes to cats, I am with Mark Twain so I am not going to complain about that too much. I like dogs too, but generally the larger breeds. Really don't like the smaller yippy ankle biters.

Anyway, back to work tomorrow. I'll have a shave, iron some uniform and tell everyone who asks tomorrow how nice the service was and accept condolences with all the grace I can muster. Right now though, I just feel tired and need to wash up.

That's a well-written post that made me feel like I was there.  :smile: Despite your near-mishap, and the sad nature of part of your trip, I envy you driving across Scotland, it is one of the most interest and beautiful places I've ever visited.

Just upgraded my Soundcloud account, now I just need to-
Um, uh...
Wait a minute...

Sometimes I think The Lawrence Welk Show was unrecognized high art.

Sometimes I think if I had to take mescaline and watch a TV show, that's be the one.

Sometimes I think Lawrence Welk was likely a more savvy marketer of his product than any TV producer ever, including Lorne Michaels and Walt Disney.

Sometimes I think the CIA was using Lawrence Welk to send coded messages, perhaps in the pattern of the bubbles.

Sometimes I think the pleasant effects of lobotomy can be simulated non-surgically by intense viewing of The Lawrence Welk Show.

Sometimes I think Methodist Heaven could be a little like The Lawrence Welk Show----sexless, calm, full of old people, happy in a mild sort of way----and then I get a bit glum.

Sometimes I hear the theme song to The Lawrence Welk Show, and it takes me back to being little and it'd come on Channel 48, Saturday evenings at seven, and my great-grandma would watch it.

Sometimes I think no one on The Lawrence Welk Show had any metabolical or biological functions whatsoever, sort of like the Brady family.

Sometimes I think The Lawrence Welk Show was faithfully watched by spree killers and other maladjusted folk.

Sometimes I think long after most other programming is forgotten, people will still be watching The Lawrence Welk Show.

So, tell us, ER, what do you REALLY think about The Lawrence Welk Show?

Personally, I always thought it was what I was supposed to like when I got older, which made me very confused and depressed.

On the surface not my cup o' tea, I see it at best once a year, but it does hold some soft sentimentality.

I am also convinced the CIA was using it to send out messages. No other explanation for how it stayed on the air for fifty years.

Same reason Matlock was in syndication for so many years: People like comfort TV. Even if they don't actively watch it, they like to know it is there.

Kinda like the giant spider on the ceiling of the closet I never open.

I think Lawrence Welk has inspired many Riffers...as a form of vengeance against it.

So I had to rise extra early this morning, because my ardent little eight-year-old Papist, who spent the night with her friend from soccer (after they went last night and saw what I heard was---perk up your ears here, gang---a bad movie) wanted to still go to the first church service with her sponsor and her family, so I had to stumble around in the first light of dawn, get my son up, let out the dogs, do all this stuff alone since my husband and our youngest are at Disney World til tomorrow (he has taken each of the children there, just him and one of them, the summer before they go to kindergarten, his tradition), and we finally got washed up, dressed, got in the car, my son asked, "Can I just go to Gramma Bee's today instead?"

"No, come with me today. You might like it."

"Why will I like it?"

"Because....." (I thought fast), "you'll get to see the ghoulish ritual of people eating their god?"

"What???"

"People will take communion and they say they're eating Jesus' body when they do."

A moment of stunned silence, then, "Does Jesus bleed?"

"Yes, Jesus bleeds wine."

His mind was too blown for words from then on, so he did the wise thing and fell asleep again in the back seat, obviously overtaxed with the idea of watching people eat Jesus, who bled wine.

We drove, got my daughter, she, being some sort of strangely responsible person for her wee age, was there waiting in her friend's doorway, perfectly dressed for church, hair beautiful, ready as ready can be (honestly, which side did that DNA come from?), her great-great grandma's rosary at the ready, we drove to church, woke my son up, he went in, found our usual pew, and it was strangely awkward sitting there next to my godson's grandfather today because of something someone said about him yesterday (lololol, ahem...).

We made it through Mass, etc etc, my godson's grandfather gave my kids five dollars each for the St. Vincent de Paul Society poor box, and told my son it was nice having him there for Sunday services, and since he was the new man, how about he pick where we went for our after-church brunch? His pockets were deep, the world was wide, young fellow, you name it, my treat. Child, you cannot pick a restaurant too exclusive, if it is your wish I shall get us in, he said.

Naturally, like he did on his birthday, my son picked McDonald's....

But everyone had a good time there and I slid down the Playland slide too, in a dress.

Our day, so far.

You have a lot of wonderful days . . .  :thumbup:

Okay, I'll try!

"Yes, Jesus bleeds wine."

I will be randomly saying this to people for the rest of the day.

(I don't know a lot about drinking, but someone starting the day with a beer is not...right, is it?)

Went looking for some pictures and artwork for the D&D campaign I am running. Had a photo of a particular actor in mind from a movie from the 60's or 70's. Couldn't remember the name of the movie or any real details for it other than he had a goatee and I think was he was a satanist, so started using search terms like '70s movie sauve satanist with goatee'. The results I got back were surprisingly NSFW. Especially the advert for a film called 'Transsexual Prostitutes 60'. I find it slightly mindboggling that there are atleast another 59 movies in that series.

Anyway, gave up on trying to find the photo I wanted. Managed to find some artwork to use instead.

Next time just use Anton LaVey. Movie Satanists are all probably modeled after him anyway.

(https://encyclopediasatanica.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/antonlavey4.jpg)

P.S. Anything after "Transsexual Prostitutes 16" isn't worth watching. They just lost their passion for the material and started going through the motions.

OMFG!!!  YOU are the The Phantom of the Pornos! I've been reading your reviews since I was old enough to figure out what feltching is.

1. There truly is a Transsexual Prostitutes series that got to sixteen? I figured you were kidding.

2. I am still not sure I know what feltching is, and I'm good with that.

3. Rev does porn reviews? Hey, respeck, Rev! My friend tried to get into the business years ago, hoping to shoot one but he didn't get far.

(Two professions that puzzle me, one is basketball coaches, because the sport seems chaotic and too fast-paced for much planning, the other is adult film directors. I assume they handle close-ups and the like and don't stand there and give instructions?)

There is actually a fair bit of instructions being given. The director will make sure things like for example if a man is playing with a woman's boobs that the nipples can still be seen and there are a surprising amount of cuts and resetting the scene. Just when someone is *ahem* hitting their stride, they might have to stop and then restart. Just like main stream movies, scenes tend not to happen in a single take and end up being a composite.

Well, I was joking about the Phantom of the Pornos thing.

Feltching is something even indecent folks refrain from discussing.

And SHOCKING ASIA did a segment on young men who prostitute themselves as young women because the cost of a sex change is beyond their means.

(This has been a plug for Deranged Visions, so...there!  :twirl: :twirl: )

Oh. Well. I pride myself on my innocence, so...