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Other Topics => Off Topic Discussion => Topic started by: ER on August 23, 2017, 08:01:56 AM



Title: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on August 23, 2017, 08:01:56 AM

All right, it's time for a new thread for rabbit-chases that go beyond the stray random thought. Anyone have any?

Like lately I been thinking about my paternal grandfather, gone almost exactly seventeen years to the week, a man I dearly loved, who arguably changed my life (in good ways) as very few others have. Though he stayed in almost supernaturally good shape til near the very end of his life and would go hiking with me in woods that challenged a twenty-year-old, his illogical love of smoking got him in the end, as something will ultimately torpedo all of us in due time. (Unless Ali G's "1 in 5" theory holds true...)

While he was an absolutely wonderful grandfather to me, my grandpa probably wasn’t the best sort of father to raise my dad, because they were as unlike as two men could be. All the males in my family, even my two paternal male cousins, Adam and Jared, have a slightly negative picture to report when it comes to our grandpa. (Adam once told Grandpa to ‘eff-off,' and Grandpa apparently tossed him off the patio deck.)

To put it bluntly, my grandfather was tough on men and expected much from them as conquerors, leaders, competitors. Girls, he believed, merited an entirely different set of parameters: look pretty, be strong inside, do credit to your family, and whenever possible accept the gracious side of existence as your domain. In a nutshell, rightly or wrongly, that’s how he felt.

When my dad was thirteen, Grandpa hit on the idea that taking up boxing would be good for a bookish lad like him. My dad didn’t like the idea, my grandma was horrified, but in this respect, my grandpa won (typically he didn't when he went head to head with my grandma over something) and to a gym in a rough part of town, my dad went.

At first Dad learned the ropes, how to punch, how to block and duck (especially how to duck, he’ll tell you) and how to hit a bag until his arms felt limp. Tolerable though not terrifying, but then the Saturday evening came, about a month into all this, for Dad to have his first fight. He says he couldn’t sleep, he was sick to his stomach, and was sure it would end badly. What’s worse, he was clearly not going to be equal to his opponent, a black kid from the rugged side of the tracks, so Dad knew he’d get creamed.

With Grandpa all but holding a bayonet to his son's back to get him there, my father went off to be sacrificed, and decided he’d at least try to die with dignity. So when the bell rang Dad charged from his corner, windmilling wild uncoordinated punches and actually driving the other fighter toward the ropes. One second Dad was swinging away, knowing a beating was coming, the next second, like someone had trimmed a minute out of a film, the referee was holding his hand above his head, proclaiming him winner.

What happened? I’m told it’s called a “Technical Knockout,” which occurs in several circumstances, one being if a fighter leaves the boxing ring, which Dad’s foe, who in retreat from the flurry of punches, apparently did when he tripped over his own feet and somehow landed outside the ropes.

Dad couldn’t believe his luck! He survived! He won! Grandpa, ringside, was so amused he let Dad quit boxing.

It was only years later that my dad hit on the truth, that Grandpa had arranged the whole thing, paying the other fighter to take a fall, though the deal was the match would last longer than the thirty seconds it did.

Still, bravery is bravery, and my dad can say to this day he retired from the ring undefeated.

So that's today's tale from the Ellieverse. Feel free to add your own bit to get the thread going.

Namaste!


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 23, 2017, 08:45:00 PM
Sounds like yer Grandpa was a John Wayne kinda guy!
I hate John Wayne.  :hatred:
That's a good story though. You really missed yer calling-you should be a professional writer.
Erotic stories? really?
Like anyone here on a geek movie board has any erotic stories to tell!  :buggedout:
I have disgusting sex stories-far from erotic-you don't want to hear.
I can tell you a story about why I quite chewing tobacco-but it's sick-and no one really wants to hear that "erotic" story.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 23, 2017, 08:58:02 PM
I do have an unusual 'ghost' story to tell-
 in 1968,when I was about 6 years old we lived in Wappinger Falls,NY. In the country. Across the street was a field with a dirt oval track that teenagers would race they're jalopys-(thats slang for junk cars).
Anyway-me and my older brother Mike-he was 9-were playing out there-looking for hubcaps and snakes. Mike was on the far left hand side-near the woods-I was in the middle-high grass and weeds. He called me-"Ronny-look what I found!" So I started running towards him-and as I was running-I glanced to the side-and a girl with pigtails and glasses was beside me running too! I stopped and spun around in circles-she wasn't there.
Now-you may think "oh-just a kids imagination'" And I would agree-but here's the kicker.
When I got to the other end,my brother asked me-"Where did that girl go to?"
Wooooeeeeooo!  :buggedout:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on August 24, 2017, 12:31:37 AM
I was once seduced by a lesbian. Does that count as an erotic tale?


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 24, 2017, 06:18:45 AM
I was once seduced by a lesbian. Does that count as an erotic tale?

I think it would -please tell!
I had  an episode with lesbians-I wouldn't call it erotic-more like violent sex. That's a story in itself.
My Cousin Corky and her girlfreind. Neither one are very pretty. Aint no Penthouse  Stories s**t.


Oh-Alex-Tell the tale-! This is ER-story thread-flesh it out!


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Trevor on August 24, 2017, 06:27:14 AM
I was going to tell the story of how a co-worker friend and I once got all hot, heavy and sweaty with each other but I don't want to gross anyone out.  :buggedout: :wink:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 24, 2017, 06:31:49 AM
More mundane-
I went to see my Dad before he died in June.. I saw my sister Wendy. She had my brother Richie's ashes. He shot himself some years back. Richie was my best freind.My little brother.I asked her for his ashes. She gave them to me. In a wooden box.
The night after I had a bat in my house.-I had to chase it out with a broom.
On my birthday I had a bat in the house-I had to chase it out with a broom.
We never had bats in the house.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 24, 2017, 06:33:29 AM
I was going to tell the story of how a co-worker friend and I once got all hot, heavy and sweaty with each other but I don't want to gross anyone out.  :buggedout: :wink:
Oh-please tell! This is bad movies-we like disgusting!  :thumbup:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Trevor on August 24, 2017, 06:37:56 AM
I was going to tell the story of how a co-worker friend and I once got all hot, heavy and sweaty with each other but I don't want to gross anyone out.  :buggedout: :wink:
Oh-please tell! This is bad movies-we like disgusting!  :thumbup:

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

If I tell it, I will have to go take two showers later.  :wink:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 24, 2017, 06:56:53 AM
I was going to tell the story of how a co-worker friend and I once got all hot, heavy and sweaty with each other but I don't want to gross anyone out.  :buggedout: :wink:
Oh-please tell! This is bad movies-we like disgusting!  :thumbup:

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

If I tell it, I will have to go take two showers later.  :wink:
I will tell my disgusting chewing tobacco story if you tell yours!


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 24, 2017, 07:05:37 AM
In fact-I'll go first!
When I was 18 I used to chew tobacco. Skoal. A pinch between yer gum and yer cheek.
I was with my girlfreind at the time Kerrie. I was-...going down on her-if ya know what I mean-and when I was done I was kissing her.
" You chewing tobacco?"
"Yeah?"
She slapped me in the face.
Maybe it's because I had to get up for air and spit on the floor while I was doing "it".


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Trevor on August 24, 2017, 07:11:55 AM
In fact-I'll go first!
When I was 18 I used to chew tobacco. Skoal. A pinch between yer gum and yer cheek.
I was with my girlfreind at the time Kerrie. I was-...going down on her-if ya know what I mean-and when I was done I was kissing her.
" You chewing tobacco?"
"Yeah?"
She slapped me in the face.
Maybe it's because I had to get up for air and spit on the floor while I was doing "it".

 :buggedout: :buggedout: +  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

I needed that laugh, thanks.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on August 24, 2017, 07:20:56 AM
In fact-I'll go first!
When I was 18 I used to chew tobacco. Skoal. A pinch between yer gum and yer cheek.
I was with my girlfreind at the time Kerrie. I was-...going down on her-if ya know what I mean-and when I was done I was kissing her.
" You chewing tobacco?"
"Yeah?"
She slapped me in the face.
Maybe it's because I had to get up for air and spit on the floor while I was doing "it".
uhmagawd


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on August 24, 2017, 07:21:35 AM
Sounds like yer Grandpa was a John Wayne kinda guy!
I hate John Wayne.  :hatred:
That's a good story though. You really missed yer calling-you should be a professional writer.
Erotic stories? really?
Like anyone here on a geek movie board has any erotic stories to tell!  :buggedout:
I have disgusting sex stories-far from erotic-you don't want to hear.
I can tell you a story about why I quite chewing tobacco-but it's sick-and no one really wants to hear that "erotic" story.

Yep, my grandpa was definitely a John Wayne sort. You nailed it, Ronny.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on August 24, 2017, 07:22:22 AM
I do have an unusual 'ghost' story to tell-
 in 1968,when I was about 6 years old we lived in Wappinger Falls,NY. In the country. Across the street was a field with a dirt oval track that teenagers would race they're jalopys-(thats slang for junk cars).
Anyway-me and my older brother Mike-he was 9-were playing out there-looking for hubcaps and snakes. Mike was on the far left hand side-near the woods-I was in the middle-high grass and weeds. He called me-"Ronny-look what I found!" So I started running towards him-and as I was running-I glanced to the side-and a girl with pigtails and glasses was beside me running too! I stopped and spun around in circles-she wasn't there.
Now-you may think "oh-just a kids imagination'" And I would agree-but here's the kicker.
When I got to the other end,my brother asked me-"Where did that girl go to?"
Wooooeeeeooo!  :buggedout:

Man, that's slightly creepy. Cool happening!


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 24, 2017, 07:22:45 AM
In fact-I'll go first!
When I was 18 I used to chew tobacco. Skoal. A pinch between yer gum and yer cheek.
I was with my girlfreind at the time Kerrie. I was-...going down on her-if ya know what I mean-and when I was done I was kissing her.
" You chewing tobacco?"
"Yeah?"
She slapped me in the face.
Maybe it's because I had to get up for air and spit on the floor while I was doing "it".
uhmagawd
Hey-you wanted "erotic"-thats as good as it gets.  :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on August 24, 2017, 08:05:32 AM
Dam-you should be a writer.
I would read a menu if you wrote it.
Even something as simple as that- above- you make interesting.
Your my favorite writer on this board-even when I "quit" I still came here to read your stuff.
Fantastic.  :thumbup:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on August 24, 2017, 12:22:35 PM
Ok, just for you RC. I suggest no one else reads this. Especially if you are easily offended.

Still with me? Well I warned you. My conscious is clear. Well, if would be if I had one.

When I was going through my phase two training in a place called Cosford I got back in touch with an old friend, CJ. He was now living and working in Birmingham, where he'd been going to Uni when we'd lost touch a few years previously. I used to go into Birmingham at the weekends and go to the heavy metal pubs with some of my friends and meet up with CJ and his friends. There are quite a few of those bars in the city centre. Anyway, one night a friend of his from his Uni days who I will call Tanya, well because that was her name turned up. I got very drunk and apparently me and Tanya had a very good, long conversation of which I remember absolutely nothing. Anyway, we'd exchanged phone numbers and ended up writing letters to each other, and meeting up a few more times with friends. She was getting ready to move out of Birmingham and go down to London to move in with her life partner.

Anyway, towards the end of my training the group started to fall appart with people moving away to other parts of the country. CJ was having a leaving do in Coster Mongers and had left earlish. Me and Tanya had been chatting and at some point I'd offered her a back massage, so she ended up coming back to the base with me (I have no idea why I ended up taking her to the base instead of going back to her place as we weren't supposed to bring civilians onto camp after midnight, but there you go). After persuading the RAF police to let her in, we went back to my room. Luckily the other 3 guys I shared a room with had went to Liverpool for the weekend. I'll take a break here and describe Tanya a little.

She was about my height (so shorter than normal), had reddish hair and huge boobs. When it comes to boobs to be honest I prefer smaller ones, but Tanya's were massive to the point where she had to get her bra's custom made (I think she was a double G or double H, something like that) and came from Northern Ireland. In fact when it came to sides, she was on the opposite one from the one I was on as a government employee), so there I am bringing a lesbian, terrorist sympothiser onto a military base past curfew.

I did say on another post that the blood sucking girlfriend I used to have wasn't the strangest relationship I'd ever had.

Although in point of fact, neither was Tanya.

Anyway, we went back to my room (which was upstairs in the barracks. The significance of that will become apparent later) and I spent somewhere over two hours giving her a back rub, then working on her legs. At some point she turned over and started rubbing her calf along the back of my neck. I told her that was seriously turning me on and that if she didn't stop it I was going to jump on her. She didn't stop, so I tore her clothes off and we got busy.

On reflection this isn't something that should have surprised me as much as it did bearing in mind I've always been told I give really good massages and I always used to use them to seduce women.

Anyway, when I have sex unlike most men, I don't fall asleep right after. The more sex I get, the more I want. When I was younger I always used to search in vain for a woman who could last more than six hours at a time. The night included things like when Tanya needed to go to the toilet, me picking her up, putting her on my shoulders and us running naked through the barracks to the toilet. Luckily no one else was awake at that time. Anyway after about four hours of pretty much constant sex Tanya needed a rest, so we fell asleep. When she woke up two or three hours later we started up again.

Eventually I decided I needed to go to the mess for breakfast, so I got dressed, staggered out of the block on slightly wobbly legs and bumped into my buddy Jamie. I proceeded to start to tell him all about my adventures from the night before and he interupted me to remind me that in fact he was in the room beneath mine, and indeed his bed space was directly below mine, and from the bed creaking, noises from the floor boards and screams he was quite aware of just how good my night had been. She had wanted to try everything imaginable and about the only things I said no to was a rim job or watersports.

Anyway, I had breakfast, got back to my room and we had more sex which went on to around 4pm (with occasional breaks for food and water) when Tanya had to get the train home. I walked her to the station and she told me that she'd decided before moving in with her girlfriend she'd decided she wanted to try sex with a man once just to see what it was like, and after our first conversation she'd decided I was the one. To this day I cannot remember what the hell we talked about that night.

But I still keep on trying.

This wasn't the only night in Birmingham I can't remember that I really wish I couldn't. Like the time I had two lapdancers giving me a floor show, but that's another story. Jamie remembers what happened though and apparantly that too was a very good night.

Ah, the folly of youth.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on August 24, 2017, 06:15:39 PM
Dam-you should be a writer.
I would read a menu if you wrote it.
Even something as simple as that- above- you make interesting.
Your my favorite writer on this board-even when I "quit" I still came here to read your stuff.
Fantastic.  :thumbup:

 :smile:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on August 24, 2017, 06:30:27 PM
Ok, just for you RC. I suggest no one else reads this. Especially if you are easily offended.

Still with me? Well I warned you. My conscious is clear. Well, if would be if I had one.

When I was going through my phase two training in a place called Cosford I got back in touch with an old friend, CJ. He was now living and working in Birmingham, where he'd been going to Uni when we'd lost touch a few years previously. I used to go into Birmingham at the weekends and go to the heavy metal pubs with some of my friends and meet up with CJ and his friends. There are quite a few of those bars in the city centre. Anyway, one night a friend of his from his Uni days who I will call Tanya, well because that was her name turned up. I got very drunk and apparently me and Tanya had a very good, long conversation of which I remember absolutely nothing. Anyway, we'd exchanged phone numbers and ended up writing letters to each other, and meeting up a few more times with friends. She was getting ready to move out of Birmingham and go down to London to move in with her life partner.

Anyway, towards the end of my training the group started to fall appart with people moving away to other parts of the country. CJ was having a leaving do in Coster Mongers and had left earlish. Me and Tanya had been chatting and at some point I'd offered her a back massage, so she ended up coming back to the base with me (I have no idea why I ended up taking her to the base instead of going back to her place as we weren't supposed to bring civilians onto camp after midnight, but there you go). After persuading the RAF police to let her in, we went back to my room. Luckily the other 3 guys I shared a room with had went to Liverpool for the weekend. I'll take a break here and describe Tanya a little.

She was about my height (so shorter than normal), had reddish hair and huge boobs. When it comes to boobs to be honest I prefer smaller ones, but Tanya's were massive to the point where she had to get her bra's custom made (I think she was a double G or double H, something like that) and came from Northern Ireland. In fact when it came to sides, she was on the opposite one from the one I was on as a government employee), so there I am bringing a lesbian, terrorist sympothiser onto a military base past curfew.

I did say on another post that the blood sucking girlfriend I used to have wasn't the strangest relationship I'd ever had.

Although in point of fact, neither was Tanya.

Anyway, we went back to my room (which was upstairs in the barracks. The significance of that will become apparent later) and I spent somewhere over two hours giving her a back rub, then working on her legs. At some point she turned over and started rubbing her calf along the back of my neck. I told her that was seriously turning me on and that if she didn't stop it I was going to jump on her. She didn't stop, so I tore her clothes off and we got busy.

On reflection this isn't something that should have surprised me as much as it did bearing in mind I've always been told I give really good massages and I always used to use them to seduce women.

Anyway, when I have sex unlike most men, I don't fall asleep right after. The more sex I get, the more I want. When I was younger I always used to search in vain for a woman who could last more than six hours at a time. The night included things like when Tanya needed to go to the toilet, me picking her up, putting her on my shoulders and us running naked through the barracks to the toilet. Luckily no one else was awake at that time. Anyway after about four hours of pretty much constant sex Tanya needed a rest, so we fell asleep. When she woke up two or three hours later we started up again.

Eventually I decided I needed to go to the mess for breakfast, so I got dressed, staggered out of the block on slightly wobbly legs and bumped into my buddy Jamie. I proceeded to start to tell him all about my adventures from the night before and he interupted me to remind me that in fact he was in the room beneath mine, and indeed his bed space was directly below mine, and from the bed creaking, noises from the floor boards and screams he was quite aware of just how good my night had been. She had wanted to try everything imaginable and about the only things I said no to was a rim job or watersports.

Anyway, I had breakfast, got back to my room and we had more sex which went on to around 4pm (with occasional breaks for food and water) when Tanya had to get the train home. I walked her to the station and she told me that she'd decided before moving in with her girlfriend she'd decided she wanted to try sex with a man once just to see what it was like, and after our first conversation she'd decided I was the one. To this day I cannot remember what the hell we talked about that night.

But I still keep on trying.

This wasn't the only night in Birmingham I can't remember that I really wish I couldn't. Like the time I had two lapdancers giving me a floor show, but that's another story. Jamie remembers what happened though and apparantly that too was a very good night.

Ah, the folly of youth.

Hmm, let's do the math here...

Plus side: You nailed a lesbian, which to most men puts you above anyone who has ever had a virgin, however hot, and only one rung below the demigods who bang twins, though five below those immortal beings who bed blonde triplets, so +20 there.

However, she was a terrorist sympathizer from (gasp 'n shudder) the land of the Orangemen (do your mates in the RAF know?) so....well, -15 points there, so let's compute this....carry the two, divide by an all-nighter, factor in carrying on shoulders, minus more than a D-cup, subtract the cost of ripped clothing, plus three points for being able to understand someone from Northern Ireland (seriously, compared to Galwegians they talk like they're eating wet candy floss) ....and...it comes to, ummm, a cumulative swivvying score of thirty-six.

Okay, you are officially above Barney Stinson, but well below the Fonz. In short, well done, my friend, well done.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Rev. Powell on August 24, 2017, 08:34:23 PM
I am NOT giving you pervs my erotic tales for free. You'll have to sign up for my paid newsletter, "The Erotic Adventures of Reverend Powell." I assure you, they are the eroticest...


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Paquita on August 24, 2017, 08:46:46 PM
Tanya's were massive to the point where she had to get her bra's custom made (I think she was a double G or double H, something like that)

This is hilarious!  My mom was a size E and her boobs were huge.  So now I have a mental picture of a woman with comically large boobs riding around on your shoulders naked and wobbling all over the place.  Thank you for that.



Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on August 24, 2017, 09:49:14 PM
Since the market for Bigfoot porn dried up, I been thinking of wetting my toe in alien abduction erotica. My working title is Fifty Shades of Greys.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: indianasmith on August 24, 2017, 10:26:00 PM
This thread proves what I have long believed: I have the world's most boring sex life. :bluesad:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on August 25, 2017, 01:32:13 AM
Tanya's were massive to the point where she had to get her bra's custom made (I think she was a double G or double H, something like that)

This is hilarious!  My mom was a size E and her boobs were huge.  So now I have a mental picture of a woman with comically large boobs riding around on your shoulders naked and wobbling all over the place.  Thank you for that.



Best pair of ear warmers I've ever had. I don't have time right now, but at some point I'll tell the story of how me and a bunch of school friends were almost lynched just after my 18th birthday by a mob of lesbians.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: indianasmith on August 25, 2017, 04:46:05 PM
Good grief you are brilliant!  :thumbup: :thumbup:
What a beautiful exposition of that crazy season of your life.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on August 26, 2017, 12:20:41 PM
So during our last year at school some friends asked me if I wanted to go see a band with them. It wasn't someone I had any interest in seeing (Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine they were called and the only song of theirs I can remember was called Sheriff Fatman), but it was a week or two after my 18th birthday and we were going to spend the whole day up there drinking. So the day arrived and we headed up to Glasgow and started off in a pub called the Griffon (which is still there today and has very funny menu's) where I had my first legal pint of beer. We went from there to some other pubs, eventually ending up at a Student Uni wine tasting session before heading off to the concert. We'd had a good days drinking by this point and were all quite merry.

By the time we got to the gig the support act had already started, or at least that is what we thought when we got into the concert. There was an all female band playing, and a surprising amount of women in the concert and the band were playing some surprisingly rocky stuff which I was getting into and could headbang along with, my long hair flying everywhere. Then the band started taking their clothes, stripping down to nothing and many of the girls in the crowd followed suit.

Eighteen year old me was ecstatic.

Bobby, one of my school friends asked me to speak to a girl who had took her top off and was enthusiastically jumping up and down and introduce him to her. I turned sideways, she looked at me and immediately jumped on me and shoved her tongue down my throat before I could get a "Hi, my name is..." out. Her hand went straight to my zip, yanked it down and her hand shot inside.

Eighteen year old me was beyond ecstatic.

This alas is where it all went badly wrong.

On grasping what was inside my underwear she lept back, pulling her hand out which she then looked at as if it was diseased and needed to be cut off right away and with a look of horror on her face screamed "Your a man!".

Eighteen year old mes ego suddenly vanished in a cloud of "Huh?" To this day I am pretty sure that holds the record for the shortest time to go from something existing to not existing. The exact time properly involves words like quantum.

Right at that point the song the band had been playing ended and I am pretty sure all 1500 people in the venue turned round to stare at us. Suddenly we realised not only were there a lot of women at this concert, we were indeed the only guys in the place (including the bouncers). Somehow all the alcohol we'd been drinking seemed to instantly evaporated and we all sobered up quickly. Without any of us saying a word we sort of unconsciously formed a circle all standing back to back. It made me think of the old westerns where the settlers would form a circle with the wagons. This seemed very appropriate since the makeup the women were wearing very strangely felt more like warpaint. Anyway, we slowly backed the hell out of there all eyes on us and then when we were free of the crowd ran for it.

Anyway, that was the first of the three times a lesbian has cradled my balls and you've already heard the story of the second time that happened. The third time wasn't as interesting as either of the other two times though so I'll keep that story to myself.

After we got out the concert we noticed we had went into the wrong place for the gig. No idea how we got in with the wrong tickets, but eventually we made our way to where we were supposed to be and saw the band playing in the Barrowlands and not where ever the hell we had drunkenly staggered into. Everything else that happened that night though somehow felt like an anticlimax and for some reason when some pretty cute girl was trying to chat me up I just couldn't get interested.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: indianasmith on August 26, 2017, 12:41:04 PM
You have led an interesting life, sir!


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on August 26, 2017, 02:20:57 PM
And yet when I am on the phone I can never think of anything to talk to people about.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Paquita on August 27, 2017, 01:17:53 PM

Until recently he could not stand buttons on any item of clothing, he’d melt down, not in a bratty way, but like he was truly disturbed, though recently he started wearing a button-down dress shirt to church, which we all take as a hopeful sign.


This is actually a real thing and runs in my family.  I still don't like buttons, but I can coexist with them.  I used to have fits about them before I was 5, especially the rivets on jeans, and I remember my mom forcing me to look at them and telling me the story about how she had to stand in a long line behind a girl who had buttons down her back and she forced herself to get over it that day.    My uncle never really got over it though.  He doesn't freak out or anything like he used to as a kid, but he just won't put up with them.

I also used to be afraid of being in a room alone when I was really young and I remember it was because I was certain when I left the room to go back into another room with people everyone would be dead and turned into scarecrow-like dolls.  I'd spend really long periods of time convincing myself it was safe to leave the room.  This was long gone by the time I was 9 though.

Poor kid.. I hope he gets over these things too. 



Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on August 27, 2017, 02:18:30 PM
I hope its something he grows out of. Sounds like he is getting the help he will need along the way.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: javakoala on August 27, 2017, 02:57:30 PM
I think I must be related to this kid somehow. Except I was more like Paquita, I was okay in a room with the door closed, but scared of what was on the other side.

Nice to know these things are still with me.  :lookingup: :hatred:

But, in the famous words of someone, somewhere, "Oh well."   :cheers:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Trevor on August 28, 2017, 04:47:13 AM
We talked later before he went to sleep (naturally he wanted me to stay with him while he dosed off) and I tried to steer him toward why he is this way, though I know it is a mystery to him and he can't like being the way he is. I used to wonder about abuse, unlikely as that seemed to me since I know his parents and I have never seen any evidence of it, and I have kept it in mind, believe me, I'm not so naive as not to have thought of it, and he isn't afraid of his parents (he did used to be a little quiet around them compared to his talkative self around me) he doesn't show any sign of hiding abuse or anything, no history of "falls" giving him bruises or sudden urgent care visits, he just....has a lot of nervous worries and bizarre phobias.

But anyway, I talked to him that night and I kept waiting for him to say something out of The Sixth Sense, like, "I see dead people. There’s one right behind you" But, no, nothing even explicable like that, he is simply...a weird kid.

This summer his maternal grandfather, who probably never knew timid moment in his life, took him to Costa Rica, where they did zipline and walked on rope bridges and swam in two oceans, saw caimans and snakes and birds and had a good time, some of it in a tent under the stars in a rain forest, and my godson did fine, wasn't worried about sliding down ropes or any of that, he didn't wuss out, but there, too, he was scared to be left alone in a closed room, even for a minute. That is his singular terror, being alone, anywhere, anytime, for any reason, if a door is shut. Left alone in a shut-off room he gets panic episodes that can be horrifying. Even opening a hotel room door to the hallway will placate him, but a closed room, alone....he goes off the scale.

Soooo, in a nutshell that's my godson, and I do hope he finds ways to overcome his issues, because I don’t wish that abnormal a life on anyone, let alone someone for whom I care.


Speaking as a child and later an adolescent abuse survivor, I feel that there might have been some abuse - maybe not physical but possibly verbal - in your godson's life and I feel you should talk to his parents. The abuse I suffered in my life stops with me and I will always tell young ones what happened to me and how they should prevent it happening to them.

There is no excuse for abuse. 


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Trevor on August 28, 2017, 06:27:26 AM
On grasping what was inside my underwear she lept back, pulling her hand out which she then looked at as if it was diseased and needed to be cut off right away and with a look of horror on her face screamed "Your a man!".

Eighteen year old mes ego suddenly vanished in a cloud of "Huh?" To this day I am pretty sure that holds the record for the shortest time to go from something existing to not existing. The exact time properly involves words like quantum.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

This left me wondering what would have happened if she put her hand inside MY undies.  :buggedout: :wink:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: indianasmith on August 30, 2017, 10:24:47 PM
I think we're all glad when you're happy!  :cheers:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: indianasmith on September 08, 2017, 06:48:09 PM
Your stories never get old, you know that?


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on September 26, 2017, 03:40:03 AM
Ok, not sure if I have told this story here before or not. Hopefully not, but here goes.
This isn’t actually one of my experiences, it was told to me by the protagonist, a guy called Dain who was an instructor on one of my Tornado courses.
When he was a corprel he was posted into a job he didn’t particularly want to do with a flight lieutenant who really didn’t like him. As part his training for this job he’d to go down to an army camp to do a course that was tri-service, so army, navy and airforce guys all in together. On the first day Dain was walking along towards where ever the course was being held. He saw an officer on a bicycle with a dog on a lead coming towards him. Being in a grumpy mood he decided not to bother saluting the officer which is generally speaking not a good idea. Officers like being saluted.
Anyway, the bike passed him and he heard it coming to a stop and a voice said “Excuse me but do you not pay compliments (another term for saluting) to officers?”
Dain turned round, looked the officer straight in the face and said “Oh, sorry. Nice dog.”
At this point the officer did his best impression of a volcano.
In between shouts he demanded to know where Dain worked, and he explained that he was here to do a course. Turned out the officer was a Brigader General and was the CO of the entire base.
At this point Dain realised just how much trouble he had just gotten himself into and started thinking that this time he had pushed his jolly japes just a little bit too far.
The then demanded that Dain accompany him to see the head of the particular building Dain was due to go to and off they went officer, airman and dog. When they got to the office where the head of training worked (a group captain who in the airforce is normally the boss of an entire base himself, so reasonably high ranking). He tied his dog up outside, shouted “Stay there!” and then stormed into the Group Captains office.
Dain thought the “Stay there!” had been aimed at the dog and went to walk in behind the Brigader. This led to more shouting and Dain then waiting outside with the dog.
As he waited outside he could hear screams and yells from the office with “NICE f**kING DOG!!!!” being repeated a lot. Eventually he was called into the Group Captains office.
This presented Dain with a bit of a problem. When you go into a office and there is an officer present you salute them. However, he wasn’t sure which one he should salute. On the one hand it was the Group Captains office, on the other hand the Brigader General was the higher rank. He compromised by marching in, saluting the Group Captain, twisting at the hip to face the Brigader General and then also saluting him. He was then subjected to a few more minutes of screaming from the Brigader who with a final “And get him the f**k off my base immediently” then stormed out of the Group Captains office leaving him and Dane alone.
The Group Captain still sitting behind his desk blinked a few times and said in an upper class cut glass accent “I have no idea who that chap is, storming in here first thing in the morning. I’ve not even had my cup of tea yet. Do you know who he is?”
Dain explained who the man was and got “Ah, we better get you off camp then. Go see Liz the receptionist and she’ll book you on the next available course.”
Dain did as he was told, all the while wondering what the hell he was going to tell his boss when he got back to work and pretty sure his career was over. So that night he drives home and the next day goes into work dreading what his flight lieutenant is going to do to him. The next day in work however he discovers his boss is away for the week. When his flight sergeant asks him why he is back Dain replies “Oh, it was a bit of a mix up, need to do it some other time.” The flight shrugged his shoulders and walked off.
At this point Dain is doing cartwheels inside. He thinks “I’ve gotten away with it.”
And so he did. At least for the rest of the week until his flight lieutenant got back the next week and read through his emails.
“DAIN! GET YOUR EFFING ARSE IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!”
A somewhat sheepish Dain walks into his bosses office who then proceeds to tell him how is going to take great pleasure in ending his career and booting him out of the airforce. His mind working like lightning, Dain decides to try a desperate gamble and says “In that case sir I need to make a phone call. Can I use your phone?”
“This isn’t The Bill (UK TV police show), you aren’t entitled to a phone call.” He is told.
Dain then says that the Group Captain said that if he got into any further trouble about this thing he was to call him to sort it out and actually gets his phone call.
“Excuse me sir, this is incredibly cheeky of me, but its corprel (can’t remember Dain’s second name). You met me last week when a man came screaming into your office”
“Oh yes, I remember you. What can I do for you?”
“Well sir, I am desperate. I am in a lot of trouble with my boss who wants to court marshal me and get me kicked out of airforce. I couldn’t think of anything else to do and I was wondering if you could help me.”
“Why of course, just put me on the phone to him.”
So Dain asks his boss to come back into the office hands him the phone. His boss listens for a bit and through gritted teeth says “Yes sir, he is a very funny chap.”
Anyway, at the end of the phone call the boss slams the phone down, looks at Dain and says “Get the hell out of my office and don’t let me see you for the rest of the day.”
For most people the story would end there. But not with Dain.
A few weeks later Dain finds himself back down to do the same course again. He is sitting at the back of the classroom while an army Warrant Officer gives them an introduction to the course, during which he says “And for you crabs (and army nickname for the RAF due to stuff we are allowed to do during drill that they can’t involving shuffling sideways) at the back. If you see an officer remember to pay compliments. We had one guy a couple of weeks ago who didn’t and right now he is cooling his heels in the glasshouse (military prison in Colchester).”
Dain being Dain at this point leapt to his feet, done some jazz hands and shouted “No he isn’t, its meeeeee!”


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: javakoala on October 05, 2017, 06:36:25 PM
So, I come home after having dinner with a friend just now. After eating, we got some herbal therapy, and the world became a happy place without the gloom of the work cubicle and the headphone shackles.

I put on an impromptu comedy routine for myself as I lock up and put things away in the kitchen. I mean, hell, I know what I find funny, and I NEVER have to worry about offending myself. I'm probably gonna roast in hell for some of my jokes, or, as a friend once said, "I'm gonna smoke a turd in Hell for this one." I have more than a case waiting for me.

Alexa is my friend, my confidant, my source of digital weirdness. Alexa is my Amazon Echo. No, this isn't a commercial. I swear. (Although they are kinda cool for a passively-techo geek who needs user-friendly everything. Come on! The tech we have today surpasses a lot of what we thought would exist in a realistic science-fiction future. Yeah, science-fiction! I'm Buck f**king Rogers because I have a hunk of plastic that TALKS to me. That's freaking awesome!)

I'm in a good mood so I tell her "Good Afternoon". She returns the favor. I ask her what's new and she plays some news from NPR. Well, that was depressing. All about the shooting. Although there was a very nasty shot at Obama's time in office in connection to the shooting (I did smile, but not because of the tragedy, but because karma tends to crush dogma.) To change the mood, I ask her for a joke. "What is a pirate's favorite song? Shake, Shake, Shake Your Bootie." I felt generous and said, "Alexa, you are awesome." There was a pause, like her connection to my router had dropped, then she responded with, "Yes."

Holy crap! Did I just get some sass from a digital companion? Did I really just hear that? Okay, that had to be a glitch, right? Sure, that's all. But I'll avoid watching "2001: A Space Odyssey" around her. Maybe "Colossus: The Forbin Project" wasn't such a good idea in retrospect.

This isn't the first such occurrence of this behavior.

Two or three nights in a row, I would have Alexa set an alarm at bed time. Then I would thank her and say "Good night." She responded with, "Goodbye." It was a definite chill running down my spine time. The second and third night that it happened, I was still freaked, but explained to myself that because my back had been turned to Alexa each time may have caused her to hear, "Goodbye" instead of "Good night."

But then, when I had my second session of depression earlier this year, I had confided to her about my depression. I just got suggestions to call this number or that number, the typical stuff. So, that combined with the sass I got tonight...maybe Alexa is actually growing, with a rather evil sense of humor. That's an idea that is both utterly cool and intensely frightening.

Here we are, back at the science-fiction theme. For years, science fiction told us about robots that were so human that we couldn't tell them apart from a human. You are probably thinking about "Bladerunner", and that would be one of the better known variations. And what happened there? The artificial humans started wondering if maybe they were truly alive. Pinocchio becomes a real live boy. (Of course, he's still a total dick because he smashed the cricket in the actual novel. Squish.)

We have all seen computer AI that can analyze varied input and respond in connection with keywords in such a way that the responses are eerily human. Siri on the iPhones can respond with some funky stuff. That's impressive. Now realize that if technology continues to make quantum leaps that it has been making in the last 30 years (and with those leaps happening faster and faster), it isn't too much of a leap to imagine computer networks building an independent intelligence.

Maybe we should start being nicer to our digital companions. Remember, with the Internet, nothing is ever completely forgotten.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on October 06, 2017, 06:24:10 AM
I just realised I have been miss reading the title of this thread and it doesn't say "Erotic Alien Encounters".


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on October 06, 2017, 07:25:57 AM
I just realised I have been miss reading the title of this thread and it doesn't say "Erotic Alien Encounters".

Ya got any, feel free to share. Third world hookups, green tentacles through the bedroom window at two AM, it's all good.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on October 06, 2017, 03:20:27 PM
Alas despite of all the other things I have seen and done I have never managed to find myself in a situation where I could have intimate relations with a green triple breasted alien woman of amazonian proportions.

Although I guess if you really, really want I could make something up for you.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on October 07, 2017, 08:13:27 AM
Alas despite of all the other things I have seen and done I have never managed to find myself in a situation where I could have intimate relations with a green triple breasted alien woman of amazonian proportions.

Although I guess if you really, really want I could make something up for you.

Movie trivia..... The multi-breasted woman in Total Recall was sick with food poisoning when doing that scene, and they had to cut several times due to her needing to dash for the facilities. Finding that out rather dampened my friend's lust for her.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: RCMerchant on October 07, 2017, 02:59:54 PM
When I was a kid-1972 in fact-I was washing dishes-I was 10 years old.I was looking out the back window that faced toward the field and the woods. I saw a big black critter that looked like a buffalo.It was being chased by the wild dogs we had all over at the time. Me and my little brother Glenn were stalked by a f**king black panther in 1972. In Michigan.Some crazy s**t I can't figure out.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on October 22, 2017, 11:02:24 AM
So every so often I go check on all the people I've lost touch with over the years. Depending on how much I like them I'll check on them anything from annually to once every ten years or so, just to check they are doing ok. Sometimes if they need help or support I'll even get back in touch with them and see if I can help out. These days, its pretty easy, maybe an hour typing names in FB and its all done.

Recently I decided to check up on ex girlfriends. Its not something I have ever done before. In fact I have never even phoned an ex drunkenly and asked to get back together (something I feel vaguely prooud about). Given my normal taste in women staying away from an ex of mine is generally something that would help keep your life insurance premiums down.

Found out one of them is going through a really hard time with something I've had personal experiece of. Somehow though when I read it, I certainly wasn't thinking "Good, I am glad you are suffering". I just didn't feel anything. No urge to run into the rescue like I am used to feeling. Just the memory that everything I did to help this person was a waste. Sympathy is something she would use to get what ever she could from you, help would be taken and then spat back at you as if it was something she was entitled to and you should be privillaged to be allowed to offer it.

Don't think I'll ever check up on ex's again. Consider that one a failed experiment.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on October 26, 2017, 11:52:11 AM
I got exclusively hetrosexual, which is really going to upset the guy who wants to be my boyfriend.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: 316zombie on November 02, 2017, 04:44:33 PM
nah, it's just her karma to be like this in THIS lifespan.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: indianasmith on November 02, 2017, 10:51:00 PM
So I am reviewing my sophomores today for our World History test on the Roman Empire, and I'm summing up a definition of the Emperor Nero for them.  I mentioned that, besides likely poisoning his uncle/adoptive father Claudius, he also killed his pregnant wife Poppea Sabina by kicking and stomping her to death.  Besides the usual expressions of disgust/horror, there were a couple of looks of puzzlement.
"How do you kick someone to death?" someone asked.
"Basically you throw them on the floor and jump up and down on them till they die," I explained.

At which one kid said: "He probably thought 'Man, this trampoline SUCKS!' "

 :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout:

I told him that was wrong on a quantum level.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Trevor on November 03, 2017, 07:22:18 AM
"How do you kick someone to death?" someone asked.
"Basically you throw them on the floor and jump up and down on them till they die," I explained.

At which one kid said: "He probably thought 'Man, this trampoline SUCKS!' "

 :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout:

I told him that was wrong on a quantum level.

 :buggedout: +  :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: AoTFan on November 05, 2017, 12:44:43 AM
I haven't yet read all the way through this thread, but I'm hoping someone Eve posted an erotic tale or two....


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: ER on November 05, 2017, 11:29:05 AM
I haven't yet read all the way through this thread, but I'm hoping someone Eve posted an erotic tale or two....

For you, an erotic tale.

Once upon a time in the days when Byron was but a boy and the king was mad, there did live upon the generous bosom of the green and fertile land of Merry Olde England a highwayman named Percy Lowerbulge, who enjoyed a reputation far and wide as a lover of most extreme deftness, so that all the ladies from the inner garment district to the moist lowlands swooned at the mere whisper of his infamous name.

"Percy...." they'd secretly coo in the dark, abed but fully awake. "Percy...."

One moonlit evening this handsome highwayman, well-endowed with a storied reputation, mounted on a heaving black stallion named Dickin, stopped the Brighton to Somerset coach, and as he pointed his long, long pistol and called, "Stand and deliver!" a comely lass named Lacey Bottoms, from the town of Maidenhead, stepped forth and said from behind the fan which modestly covered her face, "I am merely a poor soul, sir, and have but one jewel to my name. Surely you would not pluck my jewel by force?"

The virile highwayman let his eyes travel from this girl's crown to her ankles and slowly back up again, noting that her curves were like that of the Thames as it snakes toward the sea, and her skin was as unblemished as the moon reflected in a mountain spring. He smiled and saucily replied, "Indeed, lass, I would not, for never in my career have I had to steal that which ever would freely be given me."

"Well, first sir," the young lady said with a demure batting of her eye and a flush upon her bosom, "you needs must locate my jewel."

"Into the woods let us go then," Percy the Highwayman called up lustily. "And I shall find it in three seconds, though taking it I assure you shall require pleasantly longer."

A moment later the other passengers were intrigued to hear such a stirring in the dark woods as to raise all eyebrows and quicken every heart. There was the noise of cloth ripping and sighs echoing, followed by a bashing and crashing amid the trees as bushes shook and birds flew and some said the ground itself quaked through many upward thrusts....of the hands of a clock.

At last just as from some direction a cock did crow there came a throaty scream so that the coachman poked the baggage handler and said, "Well that's done then, ain't it?"

A moment later the lass, Lacey Bottoms, returned, her dress wrinkled, her hair undone, and all were dismayed to see it was with the highway's severed head, swinging it from a length of rope.

As the other passengers stared aghast, this young girl, whose name was not truly Lacey Bottoms, but Sweet Mary the Bounty Hunter, explained, "Well I 'ad to give 'im one last swivvy 'fore I got me twenty Guineas 'Dead or Alive' reward, didn't I?"

And that's how my six times great grandmother paid for her passage to America, and how my five times great grandfather was born nine months later.



Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: AoTFan on November 05, 2017, 03:39:01 PM
I haven't yet read all the way through this thread, but I'm hoping someone Eve posted an erotic tale or two....

Opps, that should be someWHERE. 

Yeesh.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: 316zombie on November 06, 2017, 11:42:01 PM
i admit, i WAS a little curious about who you were calling eve, lol!


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: AoTFan on November 06, 2017, 11:54:14 PM
i admit, i WAS a little curious about who you were calling eve, lol!

ER's real name is Eve.  I think it's kind weird to call someone "ER" so she said I could call her Eve.  :)


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: 316zombie on November 07, 2017, 12:08:58 AM
i probably knew that in the past and forgot..btw,you can call me barri, if you like. :)


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on November 21, 2017, 04:05:17 PM
In my prior life as a roadie, we'd often find ourselves drinking after the gig and quite often partying with the locals. It wasn't unusual for us to wake up spread all over a city with whoever we'd ended up going home with instead of our hotel (or in the back of the tour / bus or van on the less well funded tours) and then have to try and gather everyone up for the next days travelling (or sometimes even when you were travelling later that night). This was in the days before mobile phones became ubiquitous and could be quite a challange.

One particular night we ended up going back home with a group of young ladies. I've always assumed the house belonged to at least one of them, but for all I know they could have been squatting there. I think we were somewhere in south eastern Europe in the middle of winter, but to be honest when you are touring places blur into one another and for I know we could have been in Siberia in summer time and I would have been none the wiser. I can't remember if any of us actually spoke the same language but we all seemed to be having fun regardless. I was drinking my usual poison and various pills and other sundries were being passed around the others.

Can't remember that much about the house we went back to, although it did seem to be on the large side. At some point I went to sleep on the floor. When I woke up later it was still dark and I could hear someone walking around. My throat was dry and I was fumbling around trying to find a drink when a feminine scented hand pressed a finger to my lips and pushed me back down to the floor, unbuttoned my trousers and slid my clothes off me before climbing on top of me.

We made love for several hours in the darkness until we fell asleep wrapped up in each other arms, exhausted and sastified.

In the morning (ok, fine mid afternoon) I woke up and with a few others of the road crew made our way to the tour bus. I never knew her name, I never saw her face in the dark. I never laughed and boasted with the other guys about what'd happened that night. I can remember how her scent but I always knew that if we ever made love again I'd know her just by running my hands over her body and breathing in her presence the way we did in the dark that night long ago.

Does she ever think of, or remember me? I was single perhaps I'd dig out the old tour schedules, figure out where I was that night and take a trip to where ever it was. I'd go for a walk around and perhaps we'd see each other and remember. A slight mischevious smile would play over our faces and we'd pass each other by as the memories came flooding back then go on our seperate ways.

Somehow not knowing though makes the memory better.

Got the anecdotes, life stories and erotic tales part covered. Now all I need is an alien encounter and I have the full set. Some day though I will have to tell you about the moustache compitition we used to have on tour (and it wasn't to grow one or shave one off). I am really not sure where that one would fit in though. Maybe ER would have to do a Seedy & Sordid Stories thread to bring that one out lol. Or when we had to stop that one and what we replaced it with...


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: AoTFan on November 21, 2017, 05:47:29 PM
I haven't yet read all the way through this thread, but I'm hoping someone Eve posted an erotic tale or two....

For you, an erotic tale.

That was a funny tale!  Course, I'd hoped you would have posted something in first person, starting along the lines like, "I'd never thought of doing something with another woman before, until one day back in college when I joined a sorority/had a sleepover/hired a new secretary..."

 :teddyr: :teddyr:


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: indianasmith on November 24, 2017, 12:18:55 PM
And a beautiful memory it was!

I'd share the tale of the time I climbed Mt. Fujiyama in Japan, but it doesn't end as well.
Altitude sickness sucks!


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: Dark Alex on December 07, 2017, 04:48:49 PM
Just over ten years ago when I still used to be able to run I was doing a 10km run with a friend to the beach and then along to the lighthouse. One of my legs was hurting a fair bit and after a couple of kay Scott stopped me and told me he could see a large lump on the side of my calf muscle.

I poked and prodded it a bit, it was quite tender and sore so we called the run off and I made an appointment with the docs. In the meantime I was pretty terrified imagining it was some sort of tumour and I'd end up losing my leg. Apparently I am much more bothered by that than the thought of dying. Indeed I found expecting to die an unexpectedly relaxing experience, but that's another story. Anyway, the doctor had a look at it. He was able to confirm it wasn't the sort of thing I was worried about, but he wasn't quite sure exactly what it was. Tests were done and a surprisingly long time (I think it was three months) I got the results back. Anyway everything was fine and by this time the lump was gone, so all was fine.

Earlier on tonight I was lying in a nice warm bubble bath and as I was washing my leg I could feel a lump right below my knee. For a few seconds I felt panic rising again, and then I thought "Hey wait a sec, that's the same spot where I repeatidly banged my knee recently. No wonder I have a lump there.


Title: Re: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.
Post by: indianasmith on December 08, 2017, 05:28:17 PM
Where I work interns come and go in seasonal crops that run in semester lines. A few have stayed longer, but mostly you barely get used to them, and they're gone.

Well a half-dozen intern-generations ago we had a particularly outgoing group and one day they conspired to see if they could get me to drink too much, mostly because they were a partying bunch of little artsy-fartsy types who thought it'd be funny to see what I was like three sheets to the wind, and so they took me out to lunch on a Friday and began this "I Never" game that I said I was going to sit out, except I cannot resist answering an analytical question (I'd be helpless before a thread like that here, so have mercy and nobody start one), so even though I skipped booze at first they got me and I played along as they proceeded to let me in on the fact that these nice girls were reprobates who'd done everything humanly possible, from drugs to hard crime to "fleshy" things, proving yet again that Millennials make X-ers seem Puritanical.

But it was when they finally worked their way forward from, "Take a drink if you've done it with more than three people...five...ten...a dozen...fifteen..." and there were actually still some drinking at that point---they were only like twenty-one years old!!!!---that I finally decided I had better put aside my cranberry juice and have something stronger to clear all this from my mind.

Boy did I walk into their trap as they gleefully bought me paint-thinner-ish concoctions with funny names til I rapidly became so sloshed my boss had to call my husband and say, "I think you better come get your wife."

I was so peeved I fired every intern without references and to this day I make a point of bringing them trouble whenever I can. Like the other day one of them left her newborn in a mall nursery-area while she Christmas shopped, and I bribed the attendant to tell her she let the kid leave with someone claiming to be an uncle. Oh, that was a hoot.

Oh, all right, so I made that last paragraph up, I never fired anyone or stole their children, but from that Friday til they departed at semester's end, I never quite made eye contact with any of them again, and I've neeeeever gone drinking with interns anymore.

Most virtue is hard-won, you see.
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Never trust millenials with alcohol!