Badmovies.org Forum

I have no income-I talk to myself-I think about suicide all the time. Its hard man-I hate this world. I cry about nothing all the time.f**k this s**t.
Ya know like-Richie's dead- I loved him more than anybody and my brother he could have stayed with me or something. I could have stopped him. Richie was my brother. I let him die. Tara died on my watch. They all died. My Ma's dead,my Dad's dead-Tiana's brother died Monday-shes all f**ked up. f**k all this.

f**k all this-WHY? WHY????
I wish I as dead.

I trid to remove this topic-but it won't  let me. Dammit-IGNORE THIS. YOU DON'T need to read this-GO AWAY.

I'd do something for you if I could.

Rev-please remove this.

I'm drunk and babbling-please take this topic off board-I'm an idiot. I babble-it doesnt need to be here.
Svengollie- you have been very passionite about stuff that I can identify with-lotsa folks on this board think your crazy. I don't. I understand.
Keep it cool. Time will tell.  :thumbup:

And ER- I love you too- but you have to be more understanding of folks who are not as lucky in life as you. Your very smart and beautiful. But we all have different life experiances that shape us-and the only way to make peace is to understand the ones we disagree with. I am trying my best to do this in my life. I realize I'm a jerk-I am trying to change.

Rev-Don't remove this- I think this is in the long run helpful. We all need to be friends-because division is not a good thing. Svengoolie-ER-we all are here on this planet. We all love BAD movies. In the long run-we all want the same goal-and that's just to be civil.
I took sides- I shouldn't have. It was wrong. I like you all. I like ER- I like Svengoolie.

I'm done.
 I p**sed of Hallows- I insulted ER- I'm leaving.
I love you all. f**k all this.
Bye.

Aw, Ronny, I told you I wasn't insulted, man, no biggie. After ten years I think I get you, it wasn't a big deal. When you get your SSI life is going to open up for you. Just keep slogging through. I bet you find everything works out. You know good things happen too. Keep writing about it all if it helps even a little. Everyone here cares about you, brother.

Transitions are hard but I bet with these changes coming up the angel of good luck will soon take a rainbow colored dump on your life that'll leave you flipping the past the bird.

Stick around, please.

My advice is see a doctor and get prescribed some antidepressants. It worked for me. Relief may be that easy.

Good luck, friend.

The Rev's right, Ronny. Go see a doctor. It might change your life for the better.

Hope you get help mate. Take care and remember we care about you and you are not allowed to leave us.

this is upsetting. stay strong RC.

PS, I've said for years, a lot of this might be your blood sugar. Try getting more protein if you can and avoid sugar in all its forms. See if that helps. Don't skip eating, and when you feel the bad moods hit, or you start feeling tired, or your mind gets blurry, eat a piece of cheese or some eggs or tuna or even a Slim Jim, something like that. Try eating something small every few hours. Also don't drink alcohol. (Sorry if I sound preachy but I do want you to feel better.)

RC, I don't know you, but please don't do anything stupid, like hurting yourself, that you can't take back.   

I can relate with your situation.  I have some kind of mood disorder that the doctors haven't figured out a good treatment for, yet.  Most meds have either done nothing or made me feel worse in some way or another.  I go through periods of major deperssion, anxiety, and/or irritability plus they think I am somewhere on the autism/aspberger's spectrum.  I'm also trying to get SSI, and I am being supported by my mother, which makes me feel more useless.  I currently don't have any good friends as my best friend died a little over a year ago.  Sometimes I don't want to live, but I do it anyways because I have to.  If for no other reason than it would destroy my mother if something happened to me.

Life really sucks, but you need to press on wether you want to or not.  One can only hope that someday it will get better.

that last post from RC looks ominous. does anyone here know him irl, or aside from this board?

Shame that you're going through this.

Thoughts of strength to you, my ol' pal.

Can you try one of these?


https://www.fisherwallace.com/pages/depression-treatment?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIoaDWjKO72QIVzGrBCh1fBgXGEAEYASAAEgJVrvD_BwE (https://www.fisherwallace.com/pages/depression-treatment?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIoaDWjKO72QIVzGrBCh1fBgXGEAEYASAAEgJVrvD_BwE)

I'm very skeptical.  It may not be, but that thing just screams snake oil to me.  If it actually worked, you would think every doctor out there would know about it and prescribe it.

Same from me: hugs, Ronny.

Ron and I spoke the other night.  It didn't go well, but we had a few laughs.  I love that guy.  When he drinks, he's very in touch with his feelings... he also gets crazy as bat sh!t.  He and I are both going through hard times.  I am not blessed with patience.  I suspect I'm the catalyst for this declaration.  I tried to call him last night, no pickup.  I have never met the man, but I have talked with him for so long that I used to speak to Tara Sue too.  I know him so long we fight, particularly if we're BOTH drinking.    

Suicide is close to his heart for personal reasons.  Also in suffering, we all dream of release.  But Ron is one of us.  He wants to live.  

He will get lonely or bored and will remember that we all do love him and I believe will come back.  

Ron, remember, I love you.  I am your friend, even when I'm an ass.  

I talked to Hallows for about 3 hours tonite. It was good to talk. My brain is f**ked. I feel better-we talked about watching old movies in the early 70's. I apoligize to ER and anybody else that I may have p**sed off. I have to stay. Where else am I gonna go?

By the way, RC, since I'm up late with insomnia and humiliating myself on here with the longest post ever in the name of attempted black humor, glad to see you back, hugs, please take care of yourself, you had us all worried and we all do think you're worth having around. Also try my advice about not letting your blood sugar get low. I hope all is better and gets better still. You're loved here.

I don't know who I'm kidding-maybe myself-but not too long. I know I'm a drunk. I shouldn't post when I'm hammered. I love you guys too much to stay gone for too long. You all are my support. I would be lost without my Bad Movie friends.

I have a number you sent me.  We talked once or twice last summer, but we were both drunk so I don't recall much.  But it was fun. 

I was worried reading some of this, but glad you're here, sir. 

I've been living in fear and dread since the last election. How could my country let that happen? When is this evil moron going to get us into a war? What horror is congress going to dream up next to inflict on people at the bottom economically?

Believe me I've had thought about bailing out too...

Sven - We get the fact that you hate Trump and everyone who voted for him.  Guess what? Life is bigger than politics.  The sun still shines, the rains still fall, and there is so much that is good and decent and worthy in this life, and YES, in this country, that wasting time on hatred over things you can't change is futile. Find something to give yourself some purpose, and do it!  There is MUCH good in the world if you look for it.

glad you resurfaced RC, from the... abyss? I've done that a few times. hopefully you came back stronger

Take care RC, this place would not be the same without you.

Smith, some elections aren't just temporary down times. Some elections lead to absolute disaster that a lot of people never are very from. I'mmseriously concerned  2016 may be one of them.

RC - Have you ever thought about leaving Lawton?  Maybe not going super far, but finding a town with an antique store you can plant yourself in front of and tell stories all day or something?  That's my plan B in life for when I eventually get fired which I feel like is coming soon.  You've seemed to be much more collected lately, so I hope you're feeling a little better now.

But can you change it by worrying?  Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of being politically active even though my political beliefs are a long way from yours.  However, letting fear consume you and hate destroy your joy in life costs more than it is worth.  I know that you aren't a big fan of the Scriptures, but I saw this verse this morning and thought of you:  "He who hates his brother abides in death."

Living well is the best revenge.  BE HAPPY, and your enemies will never be able to claim victory over you.

Great advice.