Badmovies.org Forum

1. Call the movie theater and ask one of the employees what movies are playing

2. Call special phone numbers to hear recorded messages about the weather

3. Ask to be seated in the smoking or non-smoking section

4. Buy cereal so I can get the toy that's inside

5. Buy wax lips

6. Send away for stuff and wait 6 - 8 weeks for delivery, with no way to track the package and no phone number to call to ask about it

7. Watch old movies on local TV stations with commercial interruptions about every 12 minutes

8. Join the Columbia Record and Tape Club

9. Eat at the Woolworth's lunch counter

10. Brush my teeth and then chew a red pill that will stain my teeth in the spots I didn't brush good enough

11. Answer the door and see the milk man standing there

12. Answer the door and see the Fuller Brush salesman standing there

Go to a theater in costume for a special movie.

Buy and play a pc game without signing up for an account and having another account and password to remember.

Go online without being assaulted by ads at every page.

Make a joke without offending someone somewhere somehow.

Call "customer service" and speak to someone to whom English was a first language.

Deal with "customer service" without feeling like a cow being "serviced" on a stud farm.

I did this only once: opening night for BATMAN (1989). My friend and I went dressed as the Joker. No one else was wearing a costume.

 

Since that moron shot up a theater many chains have banned costumes.

Can't get horny all the time

Can't go back in time and come out sooner, probably would be more social then.

Can't get the 12 and under free meals since I'm not 12 anymore.

Can't fly for free.

Open a school door and walk right in.

Get a burger in those little foam containers at McDonald's.

Watch Saturday morning cartoons.

Get something off Wendy's 99 cent menu.

Get into your hotel room with a key.

Buy a chocobliss.

Watch music videos on MTV.

Be a free-range child outside of Utah.

Smoke almost anywhere like you used to be able to do. (Thank goodness.)

Remember everybody's phone numbers.

Feel as free in your car as you used to pre-computerization.

Rewind vhs tapes.

Be in your twenties and say you could only remember one pope in your lifetime.

Go to bookstores at the mall.

Go to malls.

Laugh at yourself for hurrying to a blue light special.

See Amy Winehouse in concert. :-(

Plan to someday party like it's 1999.

Buy candy cigarettes.

Hear, "You got mail!"

Use MSN Messenger.

Cringe in fear of Teddy Ruxpin.

Tell your mother, "Yeah, well when I have kids I'm never gonna do that!"

Adjust the TV antenna.

Watch the Taco Bell dog, Spuds McKenzie, or Air Bud without thinking aww, they're dead now....

. Find a News Stand.
. Go to an full service gas station. Ya know, when the guy checks your water and cleans your windsheild.
. Slam down a phone reciever and have it make that loud "BRANG!" noise.

You know,  I bet if you looked you could find an app that made a loud slam sound when you pushed the end call button...

Ain't the same...it's not so much the noise-it's the slamming!

I watched my friend Tommy Dillinger (yes- they are related!) beat the s**t out of a phone in a booth- right in front of a police station. He ripped that phone right of the hook! One of the coolest things I have ever seen.  :thumbup:

Phone booths,  I kinda miss them.  Sometimes you'd be in one,  some rude jerk would be wanting to use it and being a dick about it,  so you'd hold your breath let the biggest fart you could and step out so he could enter the gas chamber.

Or just gather up a big goober and hack it at the glass at them.  :twirl:

Come to South Africa: all gas stations have them.  :smile:

Use a dial phone instead of a press number type.
Watch a film in a theatre which is on film, not digital.
Listen to my vinyl LPs: turntables are very expensive.
Eat with my own teeth.  :tongueout:

Nobody has arcade games anymore.  I used to remember stores always had them out front right next to the machine you put a quarter in for those little plastic eggs with a toy inside.  

Nobody gives you free AOL trial disks anymore.  

You can't physically go into a store and rent a movie.  

You can't buy comicbooks off the spinner racks at grocery stores anymore.

I have all my front teeth except 2- the Alfred E. Nueman one, and one to the 3rd from the left on the bottom.
Most of my back teeth are shot. I chew with my food with my front teeth. I don't sit in a lot of resturants around people. I hid in a corner.
I look like an an orangutang chewing food. I spit out back teeth every couple years. Pieces of them all the time. I'm used to that s**t.
Them car wrecks f**ked up my teeth.
I don't smile in pictures.

Agreed: a lot of the video rental stores in my area have closed - once popular, now not so much anymore. Sad.

Grow my hair long.

Spend all day drinking.

Run for 6 hours a day.

Travel where I want to, when I want to.

Throw a roundhouse kick higher than my head.

 (You shoulda seen me back in the day, though!! LOL)

Sympathy, Indy, I despair of ever again being able to run a 5 1/2 minute mile.

Actually, there are still a few video rental places near me...

Things I can't do:

Sleep in, except once every other week.  :bluesad:

Say the Red Sox are cursed (Jackie).

I can't go to Hastings anymore. There are other book, video, & game stores near me, but Hastings was the best & I miss it sorely.  :bluesad:

I drive by the Planet Fitness that is where our Hastings used to be and just want to cry every time.
That store was my personal "Cheers" - the place where everybody knew my name.
Still just SICK that they went out of business.

Access any for of news media without being assaulted by the sight and sound of a huge,  horrible,  inflamed,  roaring anus with dentures beneath a pair of eyes that looks like diseased vaginas set in a face that looks like a huge orange scrotum.  I miss the days I could go 5 minute without having the sight of a face that fills with with hatred and disgust thrown at me.

Well, stop looking at Hillary then!

She's the pretty one.

hhmm... my city must be even more unique than i though, there are so many things y'all posted that i can still do within 5 miles of home! odd, isn't it?

I can't ride a bike- I tried. I can't. I feel like my chest is gonna blow up I can't breathe. Ugh. That sucks.
I can't go to work anymore. I HATED  :hatred: my job at Honee Bear Canning. But I was there for 30 years. And now I ain't got s**t to do.
I can't find Bubs Daddy rope  gum anywhere.  :bluesad:

On the other hand...
I don't chew tobacco anymore. I started in 1976 when I was 13, and quit in 1979.
I don't drink beer at all. I don't drink wine. Not since 1982.
.I don't feel self -consious about being short. I was very bugged by it most of my early life. It quit bugging me about 1983. About the time I started listening to punk rock.
I don't fall down drunk in public no more!  :drink:
I don't go to jail no more!  :lookingup:

Then it's all good.   :thumbup: :smile:

Yeah. I'm happy. I'm looking forward to life. I feel good!!  :thumbup:

RC, red wine in small amounts daily can help with cardiovascular issues, it's a pretty established fact.

https://www.prevention.com/life/g20470490/health-benefits-of-red-wine/ (https://www.prevention.com/life/g20470490/health-benefits-of-red-wine/)

might want to consider a glass a day.

I go threw 3 fifths of whiskey a week. I think my booze level is high enough.  :bouncegiggle:

Better than I was in 1987. I went threw 3 fifths a DAY on weekends. No bulls**t. That's why I'm all f**ked up. I did cocaine and anything else too. I sold blotter acid in 1986. I did alot too.
Nah- I'm good.  :wink:

I started chewing and using smokeless tobacco (Skoal, etc.) when I about 14 (circa 1984). I finally gave it up for good five years ago.

Skoal! That's what I chewed! Came in those cardboard and wax lined cans with the tin lids.

Sorry.  I had to say it:

https://youtu.be/xbl_cZ4OhMo

(It's a Stevie Ray Vaughan song, nothing horrible I promise.)

I can't go to Blockbuster and rent a movie or shop at Toys R Us. 

Can't buy a model kit at a dime store.
Can't buy an oily jiggler at a dime store.
Or buy monsters driving hot rod stickers bubble gum.
Can't go to a dime store!

I don't eat donuts. 
I don't drink white wine. 
I don't drink soda. 
I don't drink whiskey. 
I don't do drugs (unless meds count). 

I can't dance. 
I can't take very long walks. 
I can't eat a huge plate of food put in front of me. 
I can't listen to much modern Pop. 
I can't listen to modern Country. 
I can't sit through 99% of modern movies. 

Over the years I probably tried every brand/flavor of smokeless at least once, haha. I would get sick of the same thing all the time so I changed "brands" every year or two. Skoal, then Copenhagen, Rooster, Red Seal, Kodiak, Hawken, Longhorn, etc., etc.... Lord only knows how much money I wasted on that crap. Haha

I did Copenhagen- but it was like eating dirt sprinkled with amonia. I did chew Red Man, Beechnut, Spark Plug (it came in a brick) in a pinch (no pun intended!).

RACIST!!! :wink:

 :buggedout: +  :tongueout: :teddyr: :teddyr:

I can't appear in adult entertainment videos anymore: too much shrinkage.  :twirl:

That's actually a pretty accurate description of Copenhagen's taste, haha.

Even at the height of my chew addiction I would only buy "Cope" as a last resort, like if I ran out of tobacco while I was out on the road...sometimes I'd pull into a convenience store and Copenhagen would be the only type of "dip" they sold. Even then I'd be like "Seriously? Ugh. Oh well, any port in a storm," haha.

Fill up my car for under fifty dollars.

Buy one of those little petrol powered cars that kids can drive.

Dang, what are you paying per gallon, ER?  I drive an SUV and I can fill up for around $40.

Gasoline tends to be cheaper in the South.

The warranty makes me get premium and it's around $3.69 a gallon.

I can't have any hope for a better future anymore...

Wow, you're like a constant downer, huh?  ;-)


You have to find reasons to hope, because without hope, life becomes pointless.
FIND SOMETHING to believe in, something greater than yourself, a goal to aim for, a dream to dream.
Don't sentence yourself to a life of misery.

Sven, I think you have to work to create your own happiness instead of waiting for it or thinking others will bring it to you. Also if current and former patterns aren't giving you what you wish for, you have to be brave enough to abandon them and try a new path toward happiness. To stay in a rut, if you happen to be in one, is only going to deepen the current problems. (Though a hip flask of gin helps elevate mood too.)

 I'll tell ya what I CAN Do/ or DO!

. I  do books read every day.
. I do make all the Holiday dinners.
. I do still have a full head of hair.
. I can still pick up a pen and draw a cartoon lightning fast.
. I can dance, if I want to. " I can leave my freinds behind...!"

I hate you

If it makes you feel any better- I still can't get any taller than 5' 2" In fact, I think I'm shrinking.  :bluesad:

Dammit RC, i told you when you're on a boat and you see a strange cloud on the water, get in the cabin!

I can't fry bacon naked anymore.  :bluesad:

Random hookups with English guys. Stoopid marriage.

That's a good thing.  :buggedout:



On a clear day I can still see forever.  :thumbup:

One thing I do do is go thru an adblast site. You click on the link which has soe good clockbait and there's a tiny bit about the clockbait, while the rest of the screen if just a vast wasteland of ads. Then you're to click on page after page after page of ads with a tiny bit about the clickbait.

I don't do those anymore. Once i see it was just to get me to click thru one ad wasteland screen after another i say some very foul words and leave.

Ever tried an adblocker?

Turning off Javascript works too.

When did the entire web become Angelfire in 2001?

the ad men just find ways to get around it.

Simple. DON'T GO THERE. Tada! Problem solved. I don't go to clickbait sites. If I find myself on one- I LEAVE. Simple Simon!
Met a pie man! Going to the fair! You know the rest of the story!

Been using one for 5 or 6 years now and no one has gotten around it so far.

I can still eat an apple with my front teeth, (even though I'm missing one on the top and one one the bottom. I'm missing 5 in the back.)

Did we talk about this with the teeth before?  :question:

Yes: I said that I wish I could eat food with my real teeth a few weeks ago - I had an operation in 2006 that took care of that.

Yeah but- in this thread?
I'm really f**king high.  :buggedout:
Yeah- yer right. One page one! I am high! I'm gonna eat and go to bed.

Locally produced advertisements & TV shows...
You're supposed to be able to find that sorta thing on the web these days, maybe public access cable (If they'd bother with scheduling & listings), but it was more fun when they were on regular TV.....

I can't walk out to the mailbox without taking a nitro.  :bluesad:

I can't spend 6 hours a day running any more. I used to do that five days a week, four hours in the morning and two in the evening.

crouch/kneel without needing leverage to get back to standing or sitting.

Get excited about the Academy Awards.

I only watch if I know a South African has been nominated: if not, no.

I can't watch TV for the most part. I just can't focus on the show other than football.

^ Sports is one of the things I don't watch. Bores me to tears.
Mostly old movies and true crime junk.