Badmovies.org Forum

....wonder why witch doctors are always throwing virgins into volcanoes, and not dirty old men?

...what does white noise sound like to the colorblind?

. . . I wonder if anyone will ever explore the interior of Uranus?

...what are Indian restaurants called in India?

...I wonder if anyone ever told Kurt Cobain that he shot his mouth off?

Why not use potatoes as suppositories?

The DOMs would have other uses for them....

...I bet Paul Bunyan never found a girlfriend.

...Imagine how silly Hitler's German Shepherd Blondie felt when she got to dog heaven and found out who she'd been loyally playing fetch with.

...ever notice how the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus have such similar handwriting?

...if I was a Wal-Mart greeter, I think I'd say "shalom" sometimes, just for the reactions.

...ever notice the first time you find a severed finger in your chili it's hurl-worthy, but after that you get used to it?

...To have the god or gods accept a pure person instead of one that isn't?

...Elvis loved sequins and his mother; Liberace loved sequins and his mother; Kaiser Wilhelm hated sequins and his mother. Ergo I foresee a major wardrobe change next time I take my son clothes shopping.

...ever notice when you're alone in a dark forest a mile from home thinking deep thoughts, there's something spooky about the sound of approaching footsteps?

I'm sure you're aware of the yards of books, perhaps from a Feminist perspective, that suggest such destruction of persons was sexually motivated... then again, I am presumptuous.    

Indeed, unexpected footsteps are creepy, eh, "spooky".  


Not all minds have so many rooms. 

...y'ever love something so much you hate it for making you love it so much?

...it makes me sad that salaries in the medical field are so bad nowadays that so many nurses have to do porn and work as strippers. And don't even get me started on pizza delivery guys or plumbers!

Does it ever occur to anyone most of the hardship and misery in america is caused by a few greedy people sucking up all the money that millions earn and don't receive, or that most of america would be so much happier and better off if that tiny number of greedy people were gone?

...if a billionaire spread her wealth equally among all Americans, we'd each get three bucks. I'm excited!

...insomnia feels like dark chocolate held just out of reach.

Many of the people who want to boycott Nike shoes over Colin Kapernick don't boycott their catholic churches over decades of systemic child abuse and coverups.

Psst, this thread is for deep thoughts, not shallow bellyaching. Try the Rant thread. "Do better."

Apparently millions of peolle think a black man taking a knee to protest murder is a more heinous act than a religion molesting children. That's something to think on...

Plenty of adequate substitutes for Nikes.

I'm buying a pair of cheap nikes soon.

When Arwen and Aragon got married was Frodo the ringbearer?

(That kind of question keeps me up at nights).

Did they exchange rings or were they sick of the sh-t by then? I mean, seriously, after than I'm not sure i'd want to see a ring again...

....I think work cures most of what ails a person, since it generates money, and money usually brings happiness, and even if it doesn't, at least it often makes a person too busy to dwell on the things that frustrate him, and even if it doesn't it keeps the person too tired to gripe as much, which cures what ails the people who have to listen to serial complaints, meaning work is a glorious circle-shaped cure-all that brings up society by its very nature.

$3 is 30 South African rand: I could buy milk and bread with that  :teddyr:

As of 2016 the USA had close on 600 billionaires, although China now has more apparently.

Ooohhhh,  America has 600 billionaires.... Out of 300 million people.  

(https://isgp-studies.com/design/images/solutions/Wealth_inequality.jpg)

...if gun control worked Chicago would not be the murder capital of the nation.

...waiting in someplace you don't want to be, waiting on someone you don't want to see, is an excellent time to think deep thoughts.

If it doesn't though how come every other place in the world that doesn't have free gun laws doesn't have a high murder rate? I think the answer is a little more complicated than that.

...kittens become cats, eventually you run out of Chap-Stick, great loves always end, and sometimes I think the journey itself is the destination.

...unhappy people tend to feel the seduction of seeing uniqueness in the pain they feel, while happy people see their joy in simple terms, so which is right?

...when I was little I was standing knee deep in the ocean of Galway Bay with a lot of my mother's family up on the shore behind me, cousins scattered about, and a wave knocked me flat on my back onto that stony expanse they called the beach, and I remember looking up at the sky, choking, not seriously but still choking, while this gossamer veil of water covered my face, got in my eyes and nose and mouth, and strangely no one among all those Irish came to help me, lift me up, see if I was all right, so I sat up on my own and looked back and them, and they were mostly looking at me but not reacting at all, and as little as I was I think I understood something that maybe they were trying to teach me, that in this life you honestly do have handle your own problems. (Shrug?)

...why is it that mental health professionals are quick to label behavior patterns as indicating PTSD, when under some circumstances those reactions are a perfect fit for cold hard reality?

Yeah. It was a good idea to have guns laying all over the place in the 17/1800's when we had to kill Indians so we could steal they're land , also to free people from slavery. But now-it's not such a good idea.

...in my day to day life lately I have been encountering clear omens of death, and I laugh them off, so does that mean if I die my courage might translate into an offer to go to Valhalla, since I laughed in the face of death?

(five minutes til my appointment)....I wouldn't have wanted to be around when Grape Ape moved his bowels.

...I think Klingons should be a playable species in D&D.

...how did a deaf, dumb, and blind kid manage to play mean pinball?

...I always wondered, if a priest witnessed you committing a crime and was set to testify against you in court, and right before the trial you went and confessed your guilt to him in the confessional, would that stop him from being able to give testimony against you? I was told it wouldn't since the priest could still testify to what he observed with his own eyes, so I guess the best policy would be to scream a confession at the priest as you were doing the crime. Any flaw in my logic?

(two minutes til my appointment but the jerk is always running late)...I read that Charles Addams used to love to walk in cemeteries and pause above a grave and try to imagine what the person buried there looked like, and when I read that I felt disappointed since I thought I invented that game.

Watch TOMMY (1975) and find out.
Great movie!

If your crime is killing the priest then you solve the issue at one fell swoop.

...it would have been much simpler had I been born one week later since being born in the early part of a calendar year makes more sense than being born in the last week of one. Plus I could have spent the late '90s saying there was a song written about my birth year.

I almost said that but I figured it was too easy, but yes, for sure.

...okay one more before I march off to be interrogated for my own good, blah, and that thought is: I bet in all of history, no one has ever composed a haiku containing the phrase "bubbles rose from his cold nose."

The old monk stumbled,
Bubbles rose from his cold nose
And the gods did sneeze.

I will and I'll tell you what I think of it when I do.  :thumbup:

amonamush... amonamush...

http://youtu.be/wP97iBFNdiY (http://youtu.be/wP97iBFNdiY)

Why do we cry for emotional reasons?.what is the physiological reason emitons produce the crying response?

Why do we cry, period?  I mean, in what way does leaking water from our eyes and snot from our nose make anything better?

...life would still work if we didn't have time zones. One world, one shared time.

...the trouble with living to a hundred is your old friends won't be around to see it.

....Casper was the most accurate ghost on TV because he wasn't wearing clothes.

...I got before I gave; that forever makes me a demigoddess.

...today 6:00 AM Mass was in gloom, sun barely up and little light in the gray rainy sky, flood warnings everywhere, roads closed, a deluge hit as we walked from the car, wind chilled us, legs went goosebumpy, so I hope God shaves some time off Purgatory for me still taking my future nun kid there. (The second half of the 1990s would be a good place to start, oh, Lord.)

...if I tried to be a Sufi dancer, I believe I would throw up.

...I have concluded trying to comprehend neutrinos is best left to people who don't mind losing their sanity.

...remember that story in The Books of Blood where the chick goes into the mass grave of 1666 Plague victims and becomes a carrier and spreads it across 1980s London, killing people left and right, and because she is immune she convinces herself Death loves her, so she seeks him out and then meets Death and goes to bed with him but (!!!!!!!spoiler alert!!!!!!!!) it's not really Death, it's some mundane loser serial killer who strangles her? I hate when that happens.

...I swear to God this is true. When I was in London on the same trip as the Karl Marx's grave incident, I was hanging with this South of the Thames guy named Aaron, and on my last night there I was leaning back against this brick wall in an artificially good mood and I was going to kiss him when this West Indian drag queen who was dressed like Princess Diana walked by real close to us and said something I couldn't understand, and suddenly for some reason after that I absolutely did not want to be kissing anyone. That really happened, and I wonder if Aaron still holds a grudge against drag queens in general?

...Kraken may be two years off at this pace but I am zeroing in fast on the BMDO Mile High Club. Does it also have a private washroom and secret handshake?

...I have a theory that one of the strongest proofs of unseen forces directing human life lies in the fact we have all probably experienced some variation of going on never having heard of a word or person or song or idea or SOMETHING like that, and suddenly for no apparent reason we will keep encountering it over and over again all at once in a short space of time.

Like in The Sandman when John Constantine knew Morpheus was coming because he kept hearing the song Mr. Sandman played wherever he went and kept getting all these references to him.

I think real life contains that as well and the question is why? What is at work beyond our senses that directs that great coincidences should come to play and make our lives intersect with this particular thing that is all at once everywhere? Is it important in some way for us to be subtly or overtly changed by exposure to this varying X. that keeps coming up?

I may not be describing it well but if you think I bet you know what I mean and have had it happen too, like....out of nowhere for no apparent reason something just keeps being referenced and you find it's now there in the forefront when you'd never heard of it before.

And what does that phenomenon mean?

....also I've always found "phenomenon" a scary word. If you leaped out of the dark and shouted it at me I'd probably scream. Though that might also be the 'dark' and 'screaming' parts.

...off to meet my husband and other two children at my mother in law's house. That's where I act like an angel.

...some days I feel like Shiva and Medea are telling me to key lewd haiku onto the cars of bad drivers.

I wonder if fish will ever evolve lures to catch people?

I'm amazed at his intelligent creatures with tiny brains,  like squirrels, ravens and the Portia spider, are.

You're amazed at "his" creatures, Sven? You mean God? You're a creationist?

(https://d2lnr5mha7bycj.cloudfront.net/itemimage/image/large_a7dc81d8-adde-4d91-8f56-22abb143b315.jpg)

Oh, you using those today? That explains your mistake up there. Well there you go, and people say you have no sense of humor under all that bitter cynicism.

...I love science and have always tried to install some appreciation of its complex wonders into my children.

Like today my seven-year-old son was filling up a bucket with a hose and I said water was composed of two flammable elements, hydrogen and oxygen, yet amazingly if I dropped a match into it it wouldn't burn, and did he know why that was?

He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Because the match would sink and go out?"

Deep thoughts, son, deep thoughts....

....so what if one day in deep space the TARDIS landed on the Red Dwarf and the ninth doctor told Lister don't freak I just need this ship a second, so then the doctor summoned all the doctors there but the time space paradox of all of them in the same place on the Red Dwarf overloaded reality and doctor number five said with boyish charm I know who could help, my old friend Data, so they landed on Enterprise D's cargo bay and Data came out and met them and revealed that their entire existence was as a molecule of biological matter stuck on Trevor's oldest underpants?

Man I would definitely watch that.

I. Played in a RPG that involved. Capaldi's doctor and the red dwarf crew.  I played kryten, and the crew. Was. Subjected to an optimization field that made them the perfect version of themselves. Dimmer became Ace Rimmer, and kryten became Data.

Yes, that really happened.  Next year the same. GM ran a. Crossover of doctor who and the dukes of hazard.

Here's a bonus visual deep thought:

(https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/41459360_10216004280355418_3172338925876281344_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&_nc_eui2=AeGoFbrY1Hf-m8w_HlDIAVOUibV6KiWnZ-HvCan6WTElnhxVVkuNPWZsqD2Z9wDmNzRZlWNzALozS-iCIboyibqSd_3XHAdNJAmxh6tIBYa4eQ&oh=eebb83fb7b1bd730f9b2d53b6bd252bf&oe=5C296C6C)

That's funny.

...I knew a hippie girl in Austin who used to go to North Texas University, and she was so broke then she'd steal toilet paper from the college restrooms. One day a telephone survey taker called her and asked what brand of toilet paper she preferred, and since she got hers at NORTH Texas University, she said, "Northern."

...kilt. A garment worn in the Scottish Highlands; among Appalachians kilt also stands in as the past tense of an act of homicide.

...it is believed the pressure on Jupiter grows so great that gases assume a solid state and reach temperatures hotter than the surface of the sun. Now if we take that as a given, why hasn't the definition of what a gas is been re-written? I think that answer lies in a conspiracy involving Shriners and OPEC. Think about it. Who has more to gain than oil producers and the guys who drive those tiny cars at parades?

...When Jesus said, "Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone..." wasn't it lucky for that harlot on the ground that that Jesus' mother wasn't around?

...I think Irish dancing began because some boy dropped a spider down some girl's back.

...You know what's a total conversation killer? When you're with a bunch of your friends and you go, "You know that violent ringing in your ears you get when you blow your nose?" And everyone else says all at once: "No."

...last week as I mentioned to a lot of people I know, including some on this site, I kept seeing old Irish omens of death on an almost daily basis; the wind one night even sounded like a keening banshee, so I walked out and listened closer. The best/creepiest of these omens though was when I was standing in an old cemetery and a crow flew in fast and landed a few feet from me on a tombstone, looked right at me and cawed three times, which is straight out of Celtic legend. I was impressed! Well then after days of all these strange things I was driving into downtown and when I got there the entire inner city was shut down following a mass shooting that took place across the street from where I was heading. I had been due there forty-five minutes earlier but I rescheduled. Without that rescheduling I would have been walking exactly through the lobby of the building where this shooting happened, almost exactly where it happened. And what's worse I'd have left the Desert Eagle I carry in my car since taking it into where I was going is always too much trouble, even though I am authorized to enter there armed. The irony, potentially dying unarmed and not getting my chance at Valhalla since I'd have died without my weapon in my hand rolled over me with a mighty WOW. Since that day I have had no death-omens.

Ah, but if you die in combat you only have a 50/50 chance of making it to Valhalla. For Odin gets half and the other half go to Fólkvangr to dwell with Freyja.

Dang, you're so orthodox.

...the staircase was hungry.

If it helps, then can I also point out that being a woman in Valhalla most likely means you get to spend eternity serving the men ale for them to quaff. Oh, and you can also get into Fólkvangr by being a woman and dying a noble death (what ever that means).

...this 'work thing' is obstructing my deep thoughts.

There goes my backup religion.

Have you ever considered Pastafarianism (bless his noodley goodness).

...you know what I think would be scary? If the Washington monument came alive and started raping people.

But . . . what if C-A-T really spells "dog"????  :buggedout:

...hang on to your books and photographs, digital is the most fragile medium of the last 5,000 years.

...it's always memorable when you run into an old friend, but it's hell on your car insurance premiums.

...it's always easier to judge someone else than it is to judge ourselves.

... considering I cheer and shout for my kid on the soccer field and clearly have conversations with her and the rest of my family members, I don't think the other soccer parents are still buying into the cover story that the reason I don't talk to them is that I'm deaf and mute.

...is it a little strange that my Bat Cave is a mausoleum?

...I sometimes wonder if dryer sheets spread mind control drugs.

...did hippies really come into existence in the '60s, or has every society had its version of hippies?

....I seriously have a theory (I'm not kidding) that the reason the plane carrying Buddy Holly et al crashed was because the Big Bopper was changing clothes and fell forward into the pilot.

...east, west, south, north are entirely arbitrary designations since we have no idea what direction is "up" in our galaxy, or in the universe.

...wonder if the way we talk now will seem as quaintly weird as people back in the 1930s sometimes sound in those old movies?

...I think it'd be fun to be buddies with the Green Man.

...it's past time we adopted metric geometry and instituted 100-degree circles instead of this mind-bending 360-degree stuff.

...hmm, now that I am on straight salary and not commission at this job, killing time instead of working is stealing, isn't it? Oh, I feel just like a politician!

Blame the ancient Egyptians. Apparantly it was they who figured out a year had roughly 360 days, and well that is where we get our degrees from.

"Eggs are basically cheese that comes from chickens." - Dilbert

Hey ER, ever wonder how out modern. Speech would sound to people from decades. Past?  Technical reffs,. Internet this,  smartphone that, the endless stream. Of F bombs,  MF this, MF. that  sh-t, cxxx, ? I imagine our modern speech would be a mixture of incomprehebsible technogibberish to on the level.of ''i reversed tbe porlarty of the neutron flow'' and horrificly foul and obscene language that marines wouldn't have. Publicly used 50 years ago.

white people who ride bikes in bike lanes are trying to become the palestinian, sandinista, civil rights era heroes they read about but can't be because they are rich white liberals living picture perfect lives in wealthy cities

Probably some truth there, Sven, and I also suspect there is greater uniformity within the American and English languages today than throughout times past when region dialects were profoundly different and clearly marked a person as to his origins.

A German linguist during World War One made recordings, which can be heard on YouTube, of British POWs from various parts of the UK, and their accents were like listening to the phonetic speech of Dickens characters brought to life. Mass media and standardized education have smoothed out a verbal uniqueness that once existed.

...it's stupid of newscasters to introduce themselves by name every broadcast. We know who they are.

Huh? Wtf?   :question::bouncegiggle: :drink:
Wow- I want the drugs you have!  :buggedout:

Because it's news. It's nice to know who your getting your facts from. Just like when you write something here.
Plus it's polite to introduce yourself before you speak.

...I wonder what it would be like to stand outside during a cat 5 hurricane.

I was outside for hurricane Gloria when it hit Long Island for a bit. Mostly I was in a van in an ally.
I been in a couple tornados.

How can the old buildings like that of Puma Punku, the Great Pyramids, Machu Picchu, Easter Island-how these things-magnificent things-can be that old and that precise? How they were built? I've heard all sorts of theories. But no one will ever know.

rc- maybe its different where you are, but here in Boston the bike lanes are full of rich white guys dressed like they are inthe tour de france who glare at motorists for no reason. and write b***hy letters to the editor to the Boston Globe wanting more laws and more police everywhere for their hobby

I know what kind of people your talking about. When I lived on Long Island- I had to go threw the Hamptons to get to my job on the docks, loading ice onto the fishing boats. Plastic people.
I just don't understand the civil rights, Sandanista connection.

They're rich pricks like Donald Trump. Ignore them.

...we can ignore even pleasure, but pain persists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. (A deep thought from C.S. Lewis.)

.....some things that must suck include being too tired to sleep, gaining weight but staying flat-chested, and being a globe-maker if the day ever comes they prove the planet is flat.

I'm guessing these are the same type of cyclists who thinks that road laws only applies to both motorists and pedestrians. those people needs a slap to the face from a pedestrian.

Ah, take heart, the outfits those men wear are so tight at least they'll never reproduce.

Rc a lot of these stories are. Simply lies.  Puma punku was lied about.  The so called extremely hard stone that was  'impossible'  is actually fairly soft and easily cut.. The. Statues. On Easter island could be made by. Primitive people and moved,  it's been done by. Modern. People using primitive tools and techniques.

Also the people of Easter island destroyed their island's ecology making those religious statues and died out as a result.

Who said they were lies? :question: The huge stones at Puma Punku are 1000 of years old and still retain very precise lines. Many are exactly the same as the other. Plus they are f**king huge...on top of a mountain. And thrown about like a kid's Legos.

misfit, ER - they are basicallly the opposite of bikers. Bikers are outlaws riding around selling drugs or whatever it is they do. cyclists have high paying jobs, live in gentrified formerly cool neighborhoods and want more laws. Where did we go wrong? as a nation

Check out a video by David MacAulay entitled PYRAMID.  Very cool stuff on how they were built!

https://skeptoid.com/episodes/4202

In the spirit of Yom Kippur I say we go with tradition and just blame the Jews for this, too. Sound like a fix?

Sigh. Ok, jokes about priests and boys are not making fun of what they do to children. Tjey're about slamming the church for it's reaction to what their clergy were doing.

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. 

ER- Yom Kippur doesn't sound sound like a very nice guy

...wonder what shape migrating geese fly in over countries that don't have a letter V in their alphabet?

Still would be a v shape. I think it has to do with birbs having some sort of idea of flying without too much stress.

The bottom of the Marianas Trench.


Off hand, it is the deepest thing I can think of.

...when Luke Skywalker became one with the Force, why didn't his artificial hand fall down beside his cloak?

Well: What I'm thinking of.

If Germany is the fatherland, and Russia the motherland does that make Poland a cock blocker?

I can't say I saw anything to indicate what happened to his metal hand either way, maybe rei finds it if she goes back to his world.

https://youtu.be/m91wC_Ep938

If anyone cares it's been revealed that luke's last words were "So it ends as it began, under the light of two suns."

And if you think the movie sequels suck ass, forget them and read the "Heir to the Empire" book trilogy by Timothy Zahn. Infinitely better.

Ever read The Bounty Hunter Wars trilogy by K.W. Jeter?

I wish they'd made Heir to the Empire into a series of movies. Shoot, they probably could've got 2 films from each novel.

Frankly the Star Wars expanded universe is the "real" Star War in my mind.

....ever notice babies follow things with their eyes that you can't see?

Mandalorian Armor and Slave Ship are both worth reading. The other book in the trilogy less so but still...

Only ever read one Star Trek Wars novel. It was all about the bounty hunters Vader hired to find the Enterprise and what happened to them afterwards. Didn't work out well for most of them (only Boba Fett and Dengar really come out in any good shape if I recall correctly).

Ever seen the graphic novel where the Matt Smith doctor lands the TARDIS on the NG Enterprise? Lol

What is this Matt Smith person you speak of. I know of William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee & Tom Baker playing Dr Who. After them, there could never be another (well except for the entirely canon movies where he was played by Peter Cushing).

And I refuse to accept any reality that deviates from that.

....I once met someone from Chad. Chad, African country? How many people ever meet someone from there? How many of its citizens travel into other parts of the world? Chad is like....when the cartographers were assembling Africa, they made up some countries to fill in space, right? But no, Chad is real and this dude was from Chad. I met him in Ireland in late 2004 and he was friends with this local guy I was hanging round with. Chad. Weird.

....if Canadians would fill in Hudson Bay, their country would be a lot bigger.

If you ever drop your car keys into a river of molten lava, forget'em, man, because they are gone.

...if the elder gods awaken and you've already lost your mind beforehand....wait, what was I saying?

...you know what, I think underwear ought to be free.

...if I had to do it over again, I'd name this thread WeIrD ThOuGhTs, which is much better than the name I almost gave it:

Barzo's Bactine-Addict's Sing-Along for Teenaged Girls and Other Put-Upon Creatures Who Lack The Cogency To Escape Delirium Or Digress To Discover Lucid Unobtrusiveness In A World Where Rat Droppings Lie Within Commercially-Produced Chocolate Products And Most Victims Of Morticians Are Dead But Not Happy About It Which Is Upsetting Considering Bliss Is But A Butterfinger Away For Most Gluttons and Sugar Rush Thrill Seekers Of The Post-Internet Age Who Wipe Their Minds With Carbohydrate Highs And Other Means Of Nullifying Sadness Since Deep Thought Can Often Produce Deep Horror And Enlightenment Has Been Known To Drive The Sane Mad Much Faster Than A Bad Boyfriend Will Craze-Out The Aforementioned Put-Upon Teenaged Girls.

Hmm, better did I say?

Out of all the things I could possibly see online, why do I keep coming across pictures of Darth Maul and Rey as a... uhm, lets stay polite and say couple?

...okay, I was pretty sure the guy from that party in college wasn't really Oscar Wilde, but I thought, hey, how often do I get the chance to possibly sleep with a dead gay Irish poet?

Well... he would be in no position to say no I guess.

...I've noticed half the world's problems can be solved with chocolate, half by the relaxing joy of petting a purring cat, and the other half can be taken care of mathematically.

Give a man a rotten fish and he'll be sick for a day.
Teach him to fish incorrectly and he'll die of starvation

I wonder if the deepest thoughts in history we're thought by the people who explored the Marianas trench...

Ha!

Light a man a fire, and you warm him for a night.
Light a man on fire, and you warm him for the rest of his life.

New take on that:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0612.html (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0612.html)

...it's masochistic to get up this early to take my kid to church just so she can meet her fellow masochists there for dawn Mass instead of later services. Wasn't there a Protestant Revolution to quell this sort of thing? It's parental abuse to deprive me of sleep like this, grrr. I'm supposed to be the boss in this relationship, aren' I? Couldnt I tell her no, go back to bed? Hours of out of body pain having her led to this? I hope she  remembers these sick-early mornings someday if she ever decides  to write a mommy dearest type memoir about me (I am not anti-wire hangers!). If I could think of these dark mornings as investing in career development that'd be one thing but surely nuns will be extinct by the time she's eighteen, right?

I'm telling you, there ARE later services.  Being miserable is NOT a prerequisite to Godliness!

Today I offered to take her to a museum instead but she had the fortitude of an abbess. Maybe I should take up sun worship: better hours in sun worship.

Unless it is Catholic services in which case you have commiserate your faith rather than celebrate it.  :bouncegiggle:

I always used to go to our church's evening youth services which were more relaxed and less formal than the morning services.

If one of you could explain that to my daughter I'd be deeply grateful, lol. It's actually the fault of these people she likes, this family that feels like the... suffering, of rising early for the dawn Mass earns Graces that they can apply to others, which I suppose from their perspective is a noble deed. So I try to make her happy when I can and being at that particular service makes her happy. (Sigh.)

All roads lead to the dog barking up the wrong tree, therefore divided we fall, but with three you get egg rolls!

Coming soon to FOX TV, when preachers smoke dope!

When in Rome, the guilty dog gathers no moss!!

...I remember one New Year's Eve in the '00s my (not yet) husband and I celebrated the night in the historic Gaslight district with Russian Satanists and I got black candlewax on my clothes, so the hostess, D'Arcy, said to send her a cleaning bill. I said no that's okay, I don't think my dry cleaner takes Infernal Express. She looked blankly at me and I thought, girl, you are not witty enough to be a devil worshipper, because if there's one thing you can count on from the Prince of Darkness it's wit. It was disillusioning because I somehow imagined Satanists as having a good sense of humor about, oh, I don't know, virginity tests on human sacrifices and things like that. I did have strangely good sleep that night if by sleep I mean sex, so maybe that was what I got out of the black candles and mumbled mojo that was more banally boring than half the Masses I sat through in school. Truthfully the service was more ecumenical than diabolical and the Satanists weren't trying to recruit anyone just grant us charms for a good year, which was nice of them in an outreach kinda way.

Actually writing that last night about the "Satanists" made me look up what I had to say about it almost twelve years ago...


Monday January 1, 2007

(7:12 PM)
Okay, so last night Landon came for me and we drove down to the gaslight district in the west of Clifton. We got there about ten, late, early, whatever, and I met Darcy and Mikhail, and I’d asked earlier if Mikhail was any connection to Andrei, (note: Andrei was a creepy but freaking beautiful Russian we knew who was omnipresent for a while but one day in fall 2006 he seemed to vanish from the scene for a long time) and Landon said he didn’t think so. I was thinking, yeah, but Andrei has a way of connecting all over.

I can’t believe how much Landon still misses him, and I’ll never tell him.

We pulled up to the address, this gorgeous old home near a genuine gaslight lamp post, all very Sherlock Holmes, even the night was chilly and nice, with a stern wind that sent the clouds scuttling past the bright moon, making the moon look like it was flying by. I met Darcy and Mikhail at the door. Darcy is a red-haired, approximately beautiful as sin woman of about my age, maybe a tad younger, flat-chested but willow-like, graceful, and with the posture of a model; Mikhail was cocky and forward and almost jaunty, Prussian is a weird connection I kept thinking of. He reminded me both nothing and everything of Andrei.

So we went in, some others were there. No one really knew anyone else. No one knew our hosts, these New Yorkers who’ve come here to get rich and return in a few years.

Except for Darcy and Landon and me, everyone was drinking truly excessive amounts, even for New Years’. No one knew what to say to anyone else, despite Darcy’s promise that everyone would leave as “perfect friends.” This made me have to try very hard not to giggle, recalling as I did all the “we’re going to an orgy” jokes I made to Landon on the drive over.

So, there was ethnic food, Russian rock music, American rock music, odd synthesizer music, and at one point I leaned over and whispered to ask Landon if these were all actors he’d hired to play a New Year’s prank on me. It simply seemed beyond unreal that this was what I was doing for New Year’s Eve. Then toward eleven-thirty, Darcy and Mikhail did this Russian thing and lit red and black and white candles, and passed them around the room, letting the smoke and flames touch each of us, and they said that bound our spirits together for the year and that in 2007 we’d each unexpectedly come into contact with one another.

They also charged spirits to watch out for us, and granted us one favor, to be asked in our dreams, that the forces of the beyond would grant, without us ever knowing they’d granted it, it’d only be done and we’d be surprised, and probably never know was done for us, we’d simply enjoy the outcome.

People were plastered by midnight, and just before the hour struck, Mikhail dimmed the lights and left one candle burning and chanted and then threw plants into water in a silver bowl, and howled, and then dipped a plant into the water and splashed each of us with it. I got it all across my face. Then midnight came: 2007. A year that excites me very much.

So later I asked Mikhail all about the ceremony and he said he and Darcy are not devil-worshipers but they do sometimes pay homage to the devil, as they do God, and the Mother, and spirits, and past powerful humans, and the forces that exist, like wind and heat and ice and fire and blood and sky.

I said cool, okay, and was thinking Diana would go for this. (Diana was some then-teenage girl whose brother I knew in Maine.)

He invited me to do more things at another time, ceremonies, all that, and I said thanks, maybe, and he said okay.

There was no orgy, no sacrificing of a baby, but I wasn’t expecting an evening like that, and I don’t think Landon was either, but he was amused and I was observing it all, so I was glad he found this venue.

Left there by 1:15 and spent the night in Newport. Slept past one. Up and eventually home by mid-afternoon. Mild weather. Twilight Zone marathon continues on Sci Fi.

Hello, 2007. Glad to be here to meet you. I hope we’re friends.

Someone mentioned Russian rock,  so....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=-D02111Z4k4

If you're not  into wh40k you may not get it but the singing it still good.

Cool, sir.

....by Jack Handy.  :wink:

http://www.great-quotes.com/quotes/author/Jack/Handy (http://www.great-quotes.com/quotes/author/Jack/Handy)

If at first you don't succeed, do as Romans do!!!

One thing you teach your kids if your a vampire-
Don't run with wooden stakes.

Uh, unless you can outrun a lion you may not want to encourage people to do as romans... :wink:

Don't need to outrun the lion unless you're alone, you just need to outrun the person you're with.

Or trip them!   :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:

That works too. I've always been a sprinter so I should be good. I do expect a lion incident eventually.

What if the creatures we call "cats" are really lungfish wearing fur coats??   :question: :buggedout: :bouncegiggle:

When they take dracula's ashes and ressurect him in hammer movies why does he have his clothes on when he reconstitutes?
 

Judging by the amount of food our feral cats go through in a week, I'd say they are lungfish.  :wink:

When you think about it, lobsters are really just oversized mermaids for scorpions.

...it's kind of amazing that wasps can spew out paper.

....I wonder if Hitler's apparently significant sleep problems were in any way related to his conscience troubling him?

Probably not.  Psychopaths have no conscience.  To be honest it was likely more due to being history's first methhead.  There's a documentary called "High Hitler and the Nazi supermen" that reveals the nazis developed what we now call meth,  issued it to the civilllian and military widely,  Hitler was taking daily injections of it to stay energized and how meth helped destroy Hitler and the Nazi military.  See it if you can.

Yeah, you're probably right. I gave him too much credit for a second there. (And I think I saw that...or something like it on The History Channel back when it truly did history.)

Yeah it was on that or a similar channel.

....wonder what the final post on this forum will be?

....Amazing Grace sucks as a makeout song.

Amazing grace would be a funny name for a female porn star.

.... according to The Onion, students who study Latin have a better chance of summoning a demon.

It would be.

....I don't think Saint Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, I think they all probably fled to a deep cave, where they're multiplying and waiting for the right time to come out and bite everybody.

....every time I was pregnant I thought, you know, if this kid happens to come out with a fully-functioning extra arm, I won't let doctors surgically alter that because except for having to have specially-tailored clothes, it could have advantages. For instance in a fight my kid could grapple with two hands and still sneak in a good solid shot to the chin, or if she worked in a restaurant she could stir three pots at once, which surely would merit a higher salary, and if it was a boy, then as a teenager he could steady his tablet with two hands instead of one while he....watched internet videos. But the real plus to this was I figured I could paint the kid blue and do a tour of India, convincing hicks up in rural Haryana that I'd birthed the return of a Hindu deity, and maybe they'd throw handfuls of rupees at us as we passed through. Fourteen cents to the dollar adds up! Alas, though, all three children had to be born completely normal-like, but, well, not all dreams are meant to come true.

....kissing girls is strange. So is a five-hour road trip for an hour of meetings. I'm homesick already.

So are you the one Katy Perry was singing about? Enquiring minds want to know.

Actually that is misrepresentation, I guess, since I've been kissed but never kissed back.

So bored waiting here, far from home.

You need to invest in a pet cattle prod. I have found zapping random strangers provides no end of fun, but if you really want added amusement you can move the bodies to an entirely new location thus causing addition confusion when (if) they wake up.

Oh and pour some water over their groin area so they think they've pee'd themselves. Hilarious I tell you.

....we are each as many different people as there are people we know.

If the american government sucks and yet the people are supposed to vote in the government what does that say about the american people?

Our current predicament calls to mind the old proverb: Most nations, sooner or later, wind up with the government they deserve.

Today is one of those days where an otherwise efficient worker made a tiny blunder a few weeks back and only now the proverbial doo-doo hits the fan.  :bluesad:

....Alfred Adler claimed Freud and biologists had it wrong and the sex drive is not the greatest motivating factor in life, he argued that the desire for self-approval is.

Some deep thoughts...

http://youtu.be/1b-bijO3uEw (http://youtu.be/1b-bijO3uEw)

This video has some deep thoughts in it, then again so did the whole series...

http://youtu.be/sHChe6KY0DQ (http://youtu.be/sHChe6KY0DQ)

....once I spent a weekend driving around seeing all these Texas Hill Country sites with ties to Comanche history, and one night soon after I dreamed I was in a teepee playing Dig-Dug with Quanah Parker, so I woke up and told the man who had shown me all those places, and half-asleep he said, "Whoa, that's a spirit dream. A vision."

I said, "What, the spirit of the last Comanche chief Quanah Parker wants to play an '80s video game with me?"

He wasn't kidding and didn't even like me making a joke of it, he believed in things like that and he said, "Just dreaming about someone as powerful as Quanah Parker being with you is a spirit dream and your mind is trying to put it in the context of something familiar to your past, that's why you saw a video game in it. What did he say to you?"

"I don't think he said anything."

"Then he was teaching you with silence."

I'd told him about the dream thinking he'd laugh but he talked about it for days and kept asking me what I thought it meant.

I thought it meant I'd spent all weekend hearing about Quanah Parker and Comanche history but he was convinced it was mystical.

....since I inherited Great Aunt Tillie's estate my husband has never been sweeter to me. Why just the other night I woke straight up in bed to him giving me a neckrub from the front, both hands wrapped around me. The poor dear doesn't know his own strength though he sure does love me and I had to pry his hands loose to tell him enough was enough. Left me breathless and dizzy, it did. And now he wants to take me to Rock City to see Lover's Leap. He's so romantic....

....hard to believe we're coming up on twenty-five years since River Phoenix died. I think I was just the right age for his death to make a big impact on me and on most of those my age I knew. It was an extremely cold Halloween that night, snow falling, even, the last time we trick or treated, already an anachronism but we went anyway. When I first heard about a young star from Stand By Me overdosing, my thoughts went toward Corey Feldman, the most likely candidate for that. Until the next spring River Phoenix's was THEE big passing of cultural mega-significance, then of course he got lost in the post April 1994 tidal wave, but for half a year death made him loom vast in our collective consciousness. A quarter-century ago. Just wow.

...maybe when I turn forty this Christmas Eve I should say I am "thirty-nine years and thirteen months....thirty-nine years and fourteen months..." etc.  Nah, truth is I am proud to add each year to life. I'm glad to still be here. Every age is a new frontier and a new treasure, and someday when I'm thirty-nine years and three-hundred-sixty months, forty will seem like a babe in the woods.

....G.K. Chesterton said many good things but his best might be: dead things drift with the tides; it is only that which is living that can swim against the currents.

....to fear nothing, to desire nothing, is to be free.

For most of this century I've been friends with a proclaimed trance medium (he believes he is, anyway, doesn't charge anyone, nice man) I met through the sister of some guy I knew in college, and while he feels he channels astrally by himself, when he links up in a trance with his husband he feels together they reach higher planes.

He is from Spain and spent time in a seminary training for the Catholic priesthood before deciding the multiverse works other than Rome says it does. He went from the seminary to Morocco for a sort of vision quest and feels he left his body and met some higher teacher in the Atlas mountains after fasting and mediating the best part of a week and counts that as the experience that changed his life.

He says he came down off the mountain and an old man in a shack surrounded by goats fed him flat bread and watery goat cheese after and he learned from that the kindness of strangers.

I asked if he ever thought how lucky he was to be coming half-dead but high on enlightenment off a mountaintop in an Islamic country, where hospitality to strangers is taken so seriously, instead of other places where strangers are shunned, and he told me he thinks the lesson was people love one another when fear is removed, and the old man loved him and he loved the old man.

Not ridiculing that outlook, just have never quite been sure that's a solid lesson or not. People can be dangerous and xenophobia can be fatal.

Anyway, he has long told me I reflect a mingling of scholar-warrior energy from the Tao, and that I also have more "open channels" than most of those who reflect that manifestation of the Tao.

I have asked him what that means and he says it means I have more of an imaginative connection to the unseen and more instinctive hunches than those in scholarly or warrior-like categories often have, and also it all lends me a versatility single category or single-channeled people fail to have. He said I love information and knowledge, but distrust theory.

I greeted this evaluation when he first gave it to me long ago with a sort of that's cool shrug and while I enjoy talking to him I can't say that supposed diagnosis of my soul has ever played much of a part in how I've lived my life in the seventeen or so years since he told it to me.

But then the other night I shared with him some disturbances in the Force that have surrounded my son, who opened up a fortnight ago about how....unhappy he was about some things, and then today I got this long email from the Spanish medium he said he did not compose but was "automatically written" by one of my "spirit guides" and it says my son is remembering a past life when he was killed in childhood as part of a persecuted minority and my son's (I think) overreaction to all this stems from his superconscious recalling via cell memory the consequences of the last time he was cast in a role of an outsider focused on by an established group. He said my son's energy is strongly warrior-like and he dislikes both feeling weak, and being alone, since warriors like to be in a regiment, whether literally or figuratively: they want their group, whatever that group is, so to be an outsider torments him.

Again, I was kinda like aw, cool, thanks, and don't plan to do anything with what he told me but I also do think the way my son has reacted to some things he's going through (at age seven) hasn't been logical and seems more teen-like and it has had something like an ungrasped motivation behind it.

Above all I think my son wants to conform and conformity in general is not a virtue I prize (or criticize, it's his life) but this medium coming up with this claimed explanation seems so oddly....logical in a supremely unlikely way.

This is the same man who told me the diamond-shaped birthmark on my shoulder is a memory scar from where I suffered a fatal past life injury, so he's into inter-life bleed-throughs of problems and traumas and influences. He said for instance his sister's blindness was chosen by her to pay off karma for blinding Turkish prisoners of war centuries ago in the Byzantine Empire.

He says my life is heavily karmic in nature, that as a mature soul living in a young soul world I've chosen hard lessons about loss, and I have rarely been more connected via past life ties to any number of people than I am today when so many close to me have been in other lifetimes with me before. He said the ties of owing and being owed karma are pulling me multiple directions because I chose to try to balance a lot of things "this time around." He said as a result I reached an overload point and said hell with it all and copped out (his words) when I sought simplified answers via Christianity.

That's his claim.

It's true I changed 180 degrees in many ways in my early thirties, but it's also true he knew that.

All this interests me and I could listen to/read him all day, I just don't feel greatly influenced by what he says as a signpost on how this life ought to be lived. I do know the first time I went to London I knew my way around and kept feeling like things had been changed and that unsettled me. Does that mean I once (or more than once) lived there, or was I feeling some genetic ancestral memory, or did I just read about the city so much I had a grasp of it?

I think the universe is a strange place, that's what I think.

I think if I had any brains, I'd be dangerous.

Just like a shoggoth...

Know what's a scary thought to me? If I'd died when I was fifteen, like I almost did, I might've ended up as one of some terrorist's seventy-two virgins.

So you could have bitten his dong off.   :wink:

That's based on the premise that terrorists have an accurate view of the hereafter.
I rather imagine most of them got an unpleasant surprise on the other side of the suicide bombing!

Hey,  they have faith in their religion and they prove it.

They do believe 100%, no doubt.  Doesn't make them right, though.  :wink:

That's how I feel about most religions...

Put aside faith and look at evidence. Read The Case for Christ, if you're capable of open-mindedness.

What I really wonder, though, is after the terrorists have their wicked way with the virgins, do the former virgins get to go off on their own or are they stuck with the terrorist for eternity?

Also, is it a one-shot deal, or are they miracled back to virgins again time after time? And how would that even happen? You could slap a hymen back up those gals and technically they still had had sex. But if so, if they are reset after each waist-dance, is this Hell for the virgins, their punishment for things like lying to their parents and skipping out of their bedrooms on school nights? Would that mean then that Hell and Heaven happened in the same place, just as different conditions within that reality?

Also, do the virgins have to consent to the sex with terrorists, or is it all like eternal #MeToo?

Are the virgins assigned to terrorists, or do they line all the virgins up and each terrorist gets to pick a virgin, round robin style, til everyone has seventy-two? Or maybe the virgins get to pick, looking over the terrorists and going, "Ummmm, I'll take Abdul."

And what happens if a terrorist gets there and there and enough virgins haven't died on earth that day? Does he get a few at a time, or would he have to wait til all seventy-two were lined up? What if a bus of really ugly Catholic schoolgirls crashed off a hilltop, and they went to the line and the terrorists thought they were hurl-worthy. Would they get to pass on them and wait for better virgins, or do they have to take what comes along? Let's face it, unless you're saving yourself for some higher ideal, if you're a female virgin past a certain shelf life, you're proooooobably not Grade-A, knowudimeen? What with men being what they are.

After a suicide bombing, would the terrorists even still be bodily cohesive enough to deflower the virgins? I imagine Mohammad Atta's penis was pretty smeared after flying into the Trade Center. If you think about it that was likely one of the first parts of him to hit the building. That thing must've looked like a Dole banana run over by a steamroller driven by Chris Farley.

And what about female martyrs? Do they get male virgins, or are they disappointed to find out in the Seventh Heaven it's all female all the time? Do they have to spend the first few months up there instructing these virginal boys about the little man in the boat? How boring. Maybe female martyrs get dead UCLA frat boys.

And what about those baby martyrs, the infants wrapped around a bomb and handed through a crowd? Do they have to wait til their balls drop, or is it like a molestation situation til they're thirteen or whatever?

A little annotation on the rules would've helped.

I mean these are things I lie awake at night thinking about.

Their virginity is eternally renewed. Me, I'd be happier with just one woman who knew what she was doing.

Yeah, tennis is a lot more fun when you're playing someone who knows how to serve. Of course my one and only experience with a virgin did seem sweet. He said, "There's no place in the world I'd rather be right now." Awwwww! Things like that make up for the fact it was a fast minute.

(I've had too much caffeine today.)

What if life is really a computer game, and when you experience Deja Vu, you have died and went back to the last save point?

Sadly in most abrahamic religions women are nothing but protperry to be owned by and servile to men.

If you want a religion that treated women like peolle try Sikhism, and no i'm not  a Sikh but I respect their views more than most religions.

Definitely much good in Sikhism. Plus it's elevated carrying a dagger to holiness. Gotta love that.

I'm half convinced that may be true. Or at that we relive our lives on a(n infinite?) loop.

Survival is deeply hardwired into all life forms, and one trick mammals use, whether we know it or not, is our ability to quick-read those around us and process what we perceive. Without this mammals would have died out long ago.

Animals focus on eyes, as do we humans, though less blatantly. We zero-in on eyes more than we know we do, so that just by changing the expression in your eyes you can change how others perceive you, not only at a conscious level but, more importantly, unconsciously.

Learning to project through your eyes is one of the most fundamental tools in manipulating others into taking up with the image you are hoping to craft. Usually by concentrating your thoughts on a trait or stereotype or emotion you will to some degree mirror that in your eyes and broadcast your reaction to that outwardly through your expression and eyes, so that with practice a person can become very good at this action, and actors, top salespeople, public speakers, those working undercover who need to become someone else, can often be quite good at the technique since there is nothing like mastering eye-changes to push a frame of reference at another person.

Think about yourself. Do you make eye contact readily, or do you gaze on and look away, gaze back and look away? When you meet another person's eyes, do you hold the contact? Do your eyes mirror what you're feeling at any given moment or are your eyes frozen from habit?

How much time have you spent examining other people's gaze? It's telling. What's also telling is how strongly we ID those we know based on a certain outlook in their eyes. Think about that for a moment and you'll probably see it's true, the light or darkness or smirk or shakiness of the eyes is something we associate with those we know well. I can instantly think of my grandma's eyes and the light that came from them, and I think of her in part from that, though she's been gone for almost a quarter-century.

Out in the world, whether you realize it or not, your mind is always working, checking out eyes and sending you back reports: "That person's mad. That person's formidable. That person's  crazy. That person is weak."

The eyes can tell all that and more, whether it's true or, with practice, a self-serving lie.

A century ago Sydney Reilly told his boss Reginald Fothergill that when he wanted to become another person out in the field, he didn't bother with heavy disguises, he changed the internal architecture of his gaze.

Reilly, by the way, (born Sigmund Georgievich Rosenblum) was the greatest spy of his era----the greatest spy of all time is by nature someone we never heard of----and he was right, the first step in any disguise is to get your gaze right. Everyone has a default gaze, that, sure, changes depending on your mood, but look at a number of pictures of yourself sometime, preferably those where you're not smiling, and you'll see, it's like a fingerprint, your eyes' expression. Practice changing that and you transform who you are. It's really very simple, and very profound, and some people practice it as a way of life.

The eyes, after all, are the mirrors of the soul, and we all know mirrors can lie.

Interesting... I do not agree that the eyes are the mirror of the soul; I expect many fiends walk among us undetected.  I don't see as well as I once did, but always felt eyes can be misunderstood.  More and more I rely "on my gut" to determine something I might not otherwise.  I agree that the smarter the mammal, the warier.  However, it seems human beings have a monopoly on paranoia. 

Does Santa only work one day of the year because all the mince pies, brandy etc, put him a diabetic coma for the rest of the year?

I dunno but I do know the reason he has no children is he only comes once a year, and then it's down the chimney.

As the media focuses on bush's funeral, I can't help wondering how much all this pomp and circumstance is costing the american public. His body's being ferried around on planes and trains, guarded, displayed, etc. How much is this costing the government, the same one that says healthcare for the living is something ti can't do?

Apparently the gender fluid people want Santa to be gender neutral. I wonder how Mrs Claus feels about that.

We bury a President once a decade or so, and we're spending a few million to do it.
Providing "free" health care (nothing the government provides is free, we ALL wind up paying one way or another) for 320 million Americans is a wholly different order of expense.  We're talking TRILLIONS.

I don't mind giving any President a proper and respectful send-off; Democrat or Republican; they all were heads of state and the face of America to the entire world for their time in office.  It's right to show that they were respected and, yes, loved by millions.

As to whether or not it is the government's fiscal responsibility to absorb the health care costs for every single citizen in this country when we are already $21 trillion in debt - well, that's a policy debate Congress can have.  I see the pitfalls in BOTH systems, private and public, and both have lots of shortcomings.