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Book Club

Literally the only reason I watched this is because my Mom needed me to rent it on Amazon while her friend was visiting.
Also, since I sleep on the couch I can't go to bed until the movie is over so I'm screwed.
I'm certainly not the target audience but I found myself getting more and more annoyed by the glorification of Fifty Shades of Grey.
I absolutely detest Fifty Shades, its disgusting glorification of abusive relationships and misrepresentation of the BDSM community makes me
wish it would just vanish into obscurity.

But I guess it works for the target audience so whatever.

4/10

Black Panther

I love how you're considered racist if you don't like this movie just because it's a black superhero film.
There are plenty of excellent movies starring and centering around black people but THIS is the one I need to like?
There is not a single movie, song, TV show, video game, etc. in existence that you shouldn't be allowed to dislike.

I was hopeful for Black Panther since I thought the fact it would take place in Africa meant it was going to be a fresh and new
experience in a series that's infamous for doing the same s**t over and over again. But even though it takes place in Africa they
felt the need to make it about the US anyway by making Wakanda the most thinly veiled analogy for America I've ever seen.
In the goddamn end credit scene there's a news interviewer goes that's like "DUUUUH, what kind of country keeps life changing advancements in science and technology to itself?"
And then the main character smirks at the camera.

The writing was absolutely painful. When Martin Freeman (Using the most inconsistent American accent ever) says "You're going to need all the help you can get" I wanted to leave the theater.
I predicted EXACTLY how the story was going to go. But the worst thing about the entire movie is the unbelievably unfunny sense of humor that tries so hard to identify with the youth you'd think it was written by the same person who writes Hillary Clinton's speeches (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwaiyjh1dGk). No s**t, there's actually a bit where they reference "What are those?!", a meme that was short lived and was never funny.

Picture of the person that wrote Black Panther's jokes:
(https://i.imgur.com/VAeA885.jpg)

Those CGI rhinos were so badly done they actually looked disgusting. None of the characters were interesting. The bad guy was very poorly written and has one of the worst villain names I've ever heard. Say what you will about "Kilgrave" in Jessica Jones, at least they acknowledge it's a stupid name and mock it on two occasions. In Black Panther they actually have the main character say the name "Killmonger" in a way that implies that this is a scary name that is to be taken seriously.

And the CGI in the final battle... Absolutely embarrassing. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTDRQR9-PnI)

I usually enjoy Marvel movies as a kind of cinematic junk food but even with that mindset this was hard to watch. The only good thing in Black Panther were a couple of action scenes which were a little fun.
But it was mostly painful.

3/10

The Nun

Story time. So I go out with my dad every weekend. We usually go to see a movie but there wasn't anything in theaters that looked good at all.
Well my dad was raised Catholic by an abusive father and had to go to a school where nuns hit you with rulers. Today my dad is an atheist and has an undying hatred for the Catholic church and Nuns.
He wanted to see The Nun and said something along the lines of "I want to see a movie that depict Nuns and the evil monsters they are".

It's worth noting that while I was aware this was a spin-off of the Conjuring I had not seen any of the films in that series at the time (Until Halloween when my sister showed me the first one). So I went into it not really knowing much. It was for this reason I was confused immediately since the film started with something that looked like a trailer for what we were about to watch. Something about a Nun from a child's painting haunting a house. It wasn't until after the movie was over that I realized that had nothing to do with what we just watched. After some thought I figured out it was just a recap of the movie the Nun was from. Personally I found it unnecessary. It's not like any of that information was helpful for me to understand what's going on. The story is pretty straightforward.

When we got our tickets we had some time before the film began. I noticed that another movie called "The Wife" was in the other theater and was starting soon. I talked to dad about it and he said since we paid for the ticket it doesn't really matter if we watch that instead. We watched about a half-hour before getting bored. It was probably a better made movie but it didn't really keep my attention so we left to watch The Nun instead. I was personally hoping for a so bad it's funny situation but that was definitely not what I got. There were a couple of scenes I laughed at and some genuinely impressive cinematography in some spots. But for the most part it was bland, predictable, cliche, and boring. The characters were two-dimensional, the villain wasn't scary, and overall it was just a waste of time.

2/10

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I've only put three here because, honestly, I don't watch many bad movies in theaters. I try to save my money for things I hope I'll enjoy. Most of the films I have seen in theaters this year I actually enjoyed.

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Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on December 24, 2018, 06:00:26 AM

Having see it, mercifully forgotten it then just being reminded of it I have to say that "the clover field paradox" was the worst movie I saw in 2018.

I didn't even finish that movie. It was too painful.

Badmovies.org Forum

Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Svengoolie 3 on December 24, 2018, 06:00:26 AM