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Like " I'll be there with bells on my shoes."" "Colder than a well digger's ass" or , one that always scared me for some reason I may get into later- "In a pig's eye!"
What do they mean?
What ones have you heard?

I'll make you laugh on the other side of your face. Never could figure that one out.

Think slapping somebody really hard... how might they then sound?  And have you hit hard enough that the sound is coming from a spun-around mouth? 


We'll draw the curtain of charity on that one. 

"haven't *seen you, done that, etc..* in a coon's age*. i recently said to an old friend i ran into in the grocery. a young lady felt the need to lecture me about being a racist. believe it or not, i CALMLY explained to her that is is NOT racist, the phrase refers to RACCOONS. and i told her to ask her older relatives as well.
  she turned to an older lady she was with, with a questioning look, and the lady said i was right and demanded that the young lady apologise to me. i stopped her and said that i was happy to see the youngun strongly stating her stance against racism, so no apology necessary, and advised that she start talking to older people and asking the question RC asked in his OP.
   knowledge is freeing, and jumping to conclusions is NOT. i think the young lady will do exactly that, and LEARN before she speaks next time.

"worse things have happened to better people"

(https://i.imgur.com/B5KmliJ.gif) (https://lunapic.com)

"Hogwash!"
What? Hogwash?  :question:

Dad always said to people who were not getting a move on: "What are you waiting for? Better days, cheaper wine?"  :question:

It's refuse, swill... or most literally, do you wash pigs? 

Another one from my childhood "Don't come running to me if you fall and break your legs."

:bouncegiggle: :lookingup:

"When in Rome, the guilty dog gathers no moss!"

Well,  strip my gears and call me shiftless!


The term "shiftless".

Well,  I'll be dipped in dogsh-t!


I've gotta go  p-ss like a Russian racehorse.

It's raining like a herd of cows p-ssing on a flat rock.

Here he comes, one arm as long as the other. 

A shmuck looking for a handout.

That I can explain! Out here we say a horse p**sing on a flat rock.
Ever see it happen?  Bounces of the rock and splatters!
When it's a hard fast pouring rain- does the same thing on pavement, the roof, ya know...at least that's what I reckon!  :question:

I think it's like-
" Joan of Arc got burned at the stake! And your moaning about getting a flat tire!"

  :bouncegiggle:
One of my mother's expressions about the unappreciative dinner guest, substitute gender as necessary. 

There ya go!

Here's one- when you admit you are wrong- and afterwords say-"Whatta ya wan't-a fish?"
"So what do you want? A fish?"
My Dad usta say that.
My Ma usta say " My mother's hairy canary!"
So interesting to hear them scream at each other!   :smile:

When describing something from the fridge that I don't remember having: " It's older than Methuselah"

When we lived in Glasgow, when a child asked a parent for something quite often the reply would go along the lines of...

"A new bike? I'll give you a new bike!"

Quite often what they would actually get was a slap.

"It's better than a sharp stick in the eye."

Here's one that's probably not that old, but it's new to me: "more power to your elbow!" I'm going to try to work that into regular conversation.

"Here's mud in your eye!" when making a toast.

"If you had a brain, you'd be dangerous.." a rather obvious one.

Gloriosky!