Badmovies.org Forum

This will be where I post my opinions on individual Criterion films. This top post will be for all of the movies I've seen and their out of ten rating and ranking. I will edit it after each film.

1) Funny Games (10/10)
2) Brazil (10/10)
3) Rosemary's Baby (10/10)
4) The Piano Teacher (9/10)
5) I, Daniel Blake (9/10)
6) Antichrist (9/10)
7) Being John Malkovich (9/10)
8) Fantastic Mr. Fox (8/10)
9) Fantastic Planet (8/10)
10) The Fisher King (8/10)
11) Bowling for Columbine (8/10)
12) Pan's Labyrinth (7/10)
13) Stalker (7/10)
14) Watership Down (6/10)
15) Night of the Living Dead (5/10)

Fantastic Planet (1973)

The first thing I watched after getting my Criterion Channel subscription. It's an animated French film directed by René Laloux.
The film takes place on a planet called Ygam, which is ruled by an alien race known as the Draags. The planet is very large as well as
its inhabitants. In fact, Humans (Which are referred to as "Oms" by the Draags) are the size of insects by comparison.
The Draags often enslave Oms as pets or train them for specific purposes. However wild Oms are seen as vermin to be exterminated.

It's an incredibly disturbing movie where Oms must survive in this massive world without being eaten by giant monsters or exterminated by Draags.
It also gives us a taste of Draag politics. It's not super subtle but it's clear that Draags themselves are an analogy for real life humans and the way we treat
what we see as lesser beings.

I had a lot of fun watching it and I give it a high recommendation.

9/10

Stalker (1979)

Oh boy. I am not looking forward to talking about this one. If you love this movie you might not appreciate this review.
Let's get on with it.

So, it's a Russian movie directed by Andrei Tarkovsky. It's about a man simply known as "Stalker" who is paid to escort two men
through a place called "The Zone". Somewhere in the Zone is a place called "The Room" (I know what you're thinking, Hardy har har).
The Room is a place that is capable of granting the wishes of whoever enters it.

Look, it's a good movie by pretty much any metric. It's well written and contains some very thought provoking philosophical musings.
I really did enjoy it sometimes and I was impressed by the cinematography and atmosphere. When they're wandering through the Zone it does an
amazing job at making me tense up and fill me with a sense of foreboding dread. It's masterfully done.

...but I couldn't get into it. I tried so damn hard. I read critic reviews and agreed with them and I understand why people like it. But I didn't.
There are many shots that are extremely long where nothing really happens. I get that it's trying to build up atmosphere to but to me it felt like pointless fluff.
I just constantly kept thinking "Get to the f**king point already". I feel like a caveman and I am disappointed in myself. Maybe it's just my ADHD but there were
just too many points in this movie where I felt super bored. I even turned it off with only ten minutes left because I just couldn't force myself to care.

If you love this movie then I am very sorry but I just couldn't do it. I can't even give this a rating. Maybe in the future I'll give it another chance but I just couldn't
get into it.

7/10

---

Retroactively rating Stalker a seven. Not because I rewatched it. I don't really plan on that ever. It's a very well made movie but still painfully boring.
Sorry I'm a knuckle-dragging caveman but I just can't stand the long shots where nothing happens.

Antichrist (2009)

My reaction to everything in this movie: OH GOD OH F**K OH GOD OH F**K

This is the most disturbing movie I have EVER seen. Holy crap.
So it's directed by Lars von Trier. This was my first Lars Von Trier film ever. He's a very controversial director from what I've heard.
I was definitely curious to see what all the fuss was about.
Yeah, I see why he's controversial. I can't even give you a plot synopsis. If I say anything about the movie's story I'll spoil it.
I'm not kidding. This is going to be my most vague review of anything ever.

I can't even tell you what about this movie was shocking without spoiling it. But there was one specific scene that made me actually say, out loud, by myself:
"OH GOD! OH MY F**KING GOD! AHHH!". I scared my dog.
Uh, it's got some deep symbolism and it was fun to analyze but. Wow. Yeah you kinda have to interpret it for yourself.

But let me tell you, if you're the least bit squeamish, DO NOT WATCH THIS. Even I was horrified.
It's a great art house film but it's not for the feint of heart.

9/10

---

And now for something completely different:

Lars Von Trier being an idiot and getting banned from Cannes. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LayW8aq4GLw)

(Warning: The cringiest thing you'll ever see)

FANTASTIC PLANET is great, but I didn't find it disturbing. Watch it for the animation style (and the soundtrack).

If you didn't like STALKER you probably won't like any Tarkovsky movies (maybe SOLARIS if you use the fast forward). You have to really be in the mood and prepared to watch a Tarkovsky film.

Agreed about ANTICHRIST. Worth seeing but prepare yourself. It really is horrifying.

Good choices.  :thumbup:

The way human beings died in that movie were in ways that we wouldn't even blink if they were ants. It got to me.

I've never been able to see William H Macy the same way after seeing him in Antichrist

I think you mean Willem Dafoe.

Kirsten Dunst's reaction is perfect.

Yeah, I was gonna say.


"Somebody please shoot me."

my mistake ---- in my defense, I've only seen Antichrist once and am still recovering from a cold a  student gave me a ew weeks ago

Funny Games (1997)

Been a while since I've made one of these, huh? I don't have a whole lot of money to be honest. Thankfully the Criterion sale is going on at Barnes and Noble right now. Blu-rays are only $20 and I recommend picking some up. Anyway, onto the review.

This is my first Michael Haneke film ever and I'm glad I picked this one to start. I was on edge for the entire film, hoping for the family to escape, playing right into what the director wanted me to feel.

As indicated by the director interview on the Criterion edition of the film, Haneke intentionally wanted to make this film controversial. While I strongly disagree with the people who dislike the film, it's clear to me that the film would be lesser if it didn't have detractors. Haneke explicitly didn't want a movie as universally beloved as The Piano Teacher.
It intentionally reminds you of your role as an audience member and Haneke got the reaction out of me he exactly intended.

An absolute masterpiece made by a genius director, and officially one of my favorite films.

10/10

I picked up two Blu-rays at Barnes and Noble during the November Criterion sale. I wish I had more money, otherwise I'd pick more up.
Maybe I can talk Dad into getting some for himself.

Anywho, I've got another Criterion review coming. The second film I picked up is Bowling For Columbine by controversial documentarian, Michael Moore.
I have yet to see a single documentary by Moore but holy s**t does his reputation proceed him. I mostly just know him for his bizarre parody in Team America: World Police.

I'm not sure what to expect but we'll see.

Bowling for Columbine (1997)

So I watched Bowling for Columbine and thought it was pretty good. Moore and I clearly have the same opinion on gun control.
It definitely knew how to tug on your heartstrings using music among other things, and it's clear Moore did his homework.
I was pretty amazed by the montage where he plays "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong and all the horrific things the US is responsible for.
The cartoon about the history of racism in the US was pretty funny and informative.

I will say that there's a couple of scenes that were a little off. Apparently there's more to the process of getting a gun through a bank than depicted.
And by using Charlton Heston's "cold dead hands" speech before discussing the Denver NRA convention it made it look as if that's where the speech happened.
I don't think they were intentionally deceitful but it makes it a little harder to sway certain opinions.

Overall, I liked it. It's far from my favorite Criterion film, but it certain isn't the worst one. It was interesting to finally see a Moore documentary.
I guess it's a good thing I got it with Funny Games because they both highlight the value that a controversial and polarizing film can have.
Movies that make you think are more important than the ones that just make you feel good.

8/10

a.j. my friend, do you have an ebay account? i get used criterion movies there at very good prices. if you don't have an account, i'd be happy to help you get set up! :) :cheers:

I have an account. I mostly use Amazon though. Criterion Blu-rays on Amazon are basically $20 year round.

ah, that's right, i forgot that you like the blu-rays.  :cheers:

Criterions are 50% off at Barnes and Noble in November. They have 50% off sales twice per year. That's when I usually buy mine.

That's where I got my two most recent films.

I went to pick up a copy of Funny Games but I just saw Bowling for Columbine on a shelf and thought "Y'know, I've never seen a Moore documentary... Eh, f**k it why not?".

well shoot, i wish i'd known you wanted that a year ago, i had 4 copies in my ebay inventory that i sold off when we moved.  :bluesad:

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

An enjoyable film, but it didn't exactly blow me away as I expected. I appreciated the creativity and found the visual effects to be very appealing for the time.
However, I found myself getting annoyed when the mystical elements were being interrupted by the side-plot with the villain.

The plot follows a Spanish girl named Pan who finds a mysterious labyrinth. Inside the labyrinth is a strange creature that claims she is a dead princess that had been reincarnated.
She must complete three tasks within three nights if she desires to return to her kingdom and become immortal.

Maybe I need to watch it more than once, but I just found myself to not be super invested in it.

7/10

I think that the mystical elements more qualify as the "side plot." I read the plot as the girl's fairy tale fantasies are her escape from her awful reality. Fantastic movie, you should give it another go someday. Listen to del Toro's commentary, too, it's impressive.

Just bought a bunch of 'em on sale.

The Piano Teacher

The Lonely Place

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Dr. Strangelove

Code Unknown

I, Daniel Blake

Seven Samurai

Watership Down

Brazil

A Portrait of a Lady on Fire

SEVEN SAMURAI would be nice. Out of those I only have WATERSHIP DOWN.

I ordered the Karel Zeman box set and HAXAN. Should arrive later this week.

Of those I got Dr. Strangelove, 7 Samuari and Brazil.

iWhich Brazil did you get? I got the package with Gilliam's directors cut of Brazil, the studios edition of Brazil and 1 disc with just special features.

I don't remember which version of Brazil I got. It's still in the mail.
Also, I messed up and a bunch of the Criterions I bought were DVD instead of Blu ray.
So I needed to return them. Here's the corrected list.

I, Daniel Blake

The Fisher King

The Piano Teacher

Grand Budapest Hotel

Watership Down

Code Unknown

Night of the Living Dead

The Lonely Place (I had trouble paying attention during most of this. I let dad keep it. Didn't seem like my thing anyway.)

Brazil

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

The Piano Teacher (2006)

A film by Michael Haneke. I absolutely adored the original 1997 version of Funny Games so I was excited to try another one of his movies.
The Piano Teacher absolutely did not disappoint. It has a slow start but slowly devolves into absolute madness.
It seems almost like a parody of Hollywood romance in the way it's presented and it's ultimately an incredibly twisted and uncomfortable film.
But man, it was good.

Won't spoil anything else. I'll just recommend it.

9/10

I, Daniel Blake (2016)

I, Daniel Blake is a social commentary that is heavily critical of the unneeded and unwanted complexities of bureaucracies.
Daniel is just an old man that wants to get back to work. But legal red tape seems to be constantly getting in his way.
So many forms to fill and government workers to talk to that seem to love wasting his time.
He stands up for a single mother and he ends up befriending this family.
It's funny, sad, and very intelligently written.

If I had to criticize one aspect, it'd be that the ending is really predictable. But, honestly, that's a very small flaw.

9/10

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

After watching Dracula, The Mummy, and now Night of the Living Dead, I've come to the conclusion that I don't like old horror movies.

Just like the other two previously mentioned I absolutely appreciate and understand the position that these films have in the history of cinema and how important they are. I perfectly understand that a lot of movies and video games that I love would not exist if not for this movie.

However, when it comes to actual enjoyment I just plain didn't have fun. The cheese factor was mildly amusing for a while but it kinda runs into a catch 22. The cheesiness of an Ed Wood film is thanks not just to the time it came out but the incompetence of the director. However, it's harder to laugh at this since the cheese is mostly from the constraints of the time.

Unlike a b-movie the direction was competent and I can absolutely compliment the film for that. Yet the datedness of the visual effects and acting prevent me from being able to take it seriously as a horror film. I'm sure it was scary when it came out. But compared to classic horror movies from later on it has aged very poorly.

Stanley Kubrick's The Shining has aged like wine and still absolutely terrifies me to this day.

Night of the Living Dead, in my completely subjective opinion, has aged like milk.

I know a lot of people will disagree on this but if I'm being honest all of my criticisms have more to do with my personal tastes as opposed to actual faults in the film. While I used The Shining as an example of a well aged horror film, I would never directly compare the quality since that would be completely unfair to Night of the Living Dead.

Again, I completely understand why people enjoy these old movies and I have no intention to s**t on their legacy. However, at the end of the day my ratings have to do with how much I enjoyed watching it. And, unfortunately, I don't control how much fun I have watching a movie. In the case of Night of the Living Dead I didn't have much fun at all.

5/10

I appreciate that you don't trash the movie just because you didn't personally enjoy it. I try to give good ratings to movies I don't personally enjoy but which I recognize as quality filmmaking. I love NOTLD (much more than DANIEL BLAKE, for example) and I'd gladly trade a Criterion I'm lukewarm about from my collection for it!

There's a 50% off Criterion Collection movies at Barnes and Noble both online and in stores,  running through August 2.

My Criterion Collection of Bruce Lee movies just arrived in the mail today. I'm burning backup copies on to my external hard drive for my TV right now.  :cheers:

(https://cdn3-www.comingsoon.net/assets/uploads/2020/04/1036_BD_3D.jpg)

Nice one!

 
It's been years, but I think this might clarify :
From Wikipedia :

Moore then asks Heston if he would like to apologize for leading NRA rallies in Flint, Michigan (Moore's hometown) after the shooting death of a six-year-old girl at Buell Elementary School and in Littleton after the Columbine shooting. Heston claims he did not know about Kayla's death or how soon the rally was after it. When Moore presses to know if he would have cancelled the rally, he declines to answer and walks out of the interview.

MICHAEL MOORE's first film was about his own hometown of Flint, Michigan : ROGER AND ME. 

Brazil (1985)

Brazil is a film by Terry Gilliam. His best known works would be Monty Python, The Fisher King, Time Bandits and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Much like Monty Python it's somewhat of an absurdist comedy, however it's certainly darker with more of a focus on social commentary. It's surreal on top of everything else and is just a blast to watch. It seems to mostly criticize bureaucracy much like I, Daniel Blake. However it takes a more over the top approach compared to the previously mentioned film. The sets and costumes are brilliantly detailed and the story is perfectly unpredictable.

I cannot possibly recommend Brazil enough.

10/10

The Fisher King (1991)

Yet another film by the absolutely brilliant Terry Gilliam. While not as good as Brazil it was still a really fun watch and I'm happy to have it in my collection.

The Fisher King is a movie about a radioshow host named Jack played by Jeff Bridges that verbally berated one of his listeners. Said listener very shortly afterward walked into a bar with a shotgun and shot several people dead before killing himself. Jack felt responsible for what happened and quit his show to work at a video rental store.

After getting drunk and wandering to some nearby docks, he is mistaken for a bum by some kids that decide to attack him. Jack is rescued by a mentally ill hobo named Parry, played by the legendary Robin Williams. The movie is largely about the bond that starts to develop between these two.

The Fisher King is a very uplifting story that will probably leave you in a good mood. It has its dark turns but overall I found myself feelings very happy and fulfilled by the end credits. It doesn't have the same outstanding writing, humor, and production design of Gilliam's magnum opus, Brazil. But it very much stands on its own and you're missing out if you haven't seen it.

8/10

Watership Down (1978)

It was okay. Good animation for the time and pretty disturbing in its presentation. However, I didn't find myself being wowed by it at all. I wasn't super invested.

6/10

There's a Criterion Flash Sale: 50% off all Blu-rays and DVDs at criterion.com

the flash sale ends tomorrow at noon ET

I picked up Blue Velvet and Until the End of the World (bluray) for prices even cheaper then those listed on Amazon

Come and See (1985)

An incredibly dark and disturbing movie about a young boy that joins the Russian military to fight the Nazis. As the film goes on the boy loses people close to him because of the cruelty of the Nazi soldiers.

It very much emphasizes exactly how evil the Nazis were by showing the sort of things they did to Russian civilians in the war. The cinematography, acting, and creative choices makes it hard to watch, but damn good.

8/10

Which version of this did you watch? The superb 1978 version, the silly family TV version from 1999-2001, or the ho-hum Netflix version from 2018? I'm just not getting the "1991" date/year part of this.

If you're referring to the 1978 version, I thought it was wonderful. 

Sorry. I copy-pasted the font formatting of a previous entry but forgot to change the year. My bad.