Badmovies.org Forum

1.The Kid
2.Clifford
3.Return To Oz
4.Return of the Living Dead
5.Phsyco Beach Party
6.Micheal Jackson's Moonwalker
7.Save the Last Dance
8.The Care Bears Movie
9.Super Mario Bros.
10.Fast and the Furious

1. BRAVEHEART
2. PEARL HARBOR
3. DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?
4. FRIDAY THE 13th series
5. GLITTER (even though I haven't seen it, I just know it's bad)
6. FREDDY GOT FINGERED (if it has Tom Green in it, STAY AWAY)
7. SCREAM trilogy
8. RESIDENT EVIL
9. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
10. STAR WARS

As much as some might disagree, I just don't like these flicks.

1. Truth or dare (not the Madonna movie)
2. Truth or dare ( the Madonna movie)
3.  Natural born killers
4.  ID4
5. Trick or treat
6. A nightmare on elm street 2
7. I dont know the name of it, but Madonna sings all the way through it.
8. Saturday the 14th part 2
9. Out cold
10. Every Friday the 13th except JASON TAKES MANHATTON

How the f**k can you call RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD one of the *WORST* movies ever?!

1 Satan's Storybook(I cannot warn enough)
2 Earth Girls Are Easy(My wife bought me the DVD of this because she thought I might like it. Yes she is blonde)
3 Men In Black 2(Showing even new films suck)
4 Jaws 3&4(Did we really need them)
5 Dirty Dancing &Footloose(They tie because I couldn't make up my mind which was worse)
6 Freddy Got Fingered(What can I say that hasn't been said)
7 All 3 Scream films(I only saw the first one but that was more than enough)
8 The whole Nightmare on Elm Street series(I know I'll take heat for it but damn it they sucked in my book. And of course the wife owns all of them on DVD)
9 Friday The 13th 2 and up(Of course the wife has all of these on video as well)
10 Any Batman movie after the first one(They killed the series when they over did it by putting in 2 villains per film. How many saw that Batman Returns could have been good if they would not have had the Penguin?)

Y'all don't know from bad.  You just don't.
     In no particular order, here are ten movies that will make every single one of the movies listed above seem like classics of the arts (One exception - Satan's Storybook.  Ain't seen it, know nothing about it.)  Titles in italics are movies I watched without the protection of MST3K, commercials, or VCR remote
_____________________________________________________________________
* Hobgoblins - A Gremlins rip off about little imps that grant your hidden desires before ripping you to shreds.  The Hobgoblins are all stuffed dolls and look it, the jokes fall flat, and none of the characters die at the end, which p**sed me off to no end because I HATED THEM ALL.  And I'm not normally like that.
     Couple that with an ending that'll make you want to kill someone, and you have this movie.
     MST3K couldn't even cure this sick pup.
_____________________________________________________________________
* Touch of Satan - A young man is seduced to evil by a minion of Satan.  Long, drawn out, and dull, and that was the MST3K version.  God only knows what would have happened to me if I watched it straight through.
_____________________________________________________________________
* R.O.T.O.R. - A run away robot chases an innocent girl while its creator races against time to stop it.  Sound good?  It isn't.  This movie has some of the dumbest moments imaginable.  For the longest time, this movie was the ruler by which I judged how bad a movie was.
     Sadly, I've seen worse since.
_____________________________________________________________________
* Super Gamera - Between the original run of Gamera films and the new ones lies this turd.  It is comprised of battle clips from the first series of Gamera films and a plot about a space girl and her young friend helping Our Hero against an alien invasion.  Ends with Gamera sacrificing himself for humanity.
     Aw.
     Might be worth watching if...naw.
_____________________________________________________________________
* Spawn of the Slythis - Mud monster attacks L.A.  Could not sit though this for the life of me.  Yet I watched (almost) all of the others.  Wonder if that says something....
_____________________________________________________________________
* "It's Alive" - Not the killer baby one, but the one directed by Larry "Can He Direct A Watchable Film; Guess Not" Buchanan.  It's about a sideshow owner, his pet dinosaur, and the people he tortures.  The dinosaur is a man in a mime suit (with ping pong ball eyes for that extra prehistoric feel).  Most of the running time concerns the Flashback That Wouldn't Die about how he captured his first victim.  It's one of the worst dinosaur movies ever made.
_____________________________________________________________________
* Altor the Fighting Eagle - Back in the days of old, young Altor must go save his sister/fiancée from the clutches of the evil puppet Spider.  To do so, he must endure some of the most boring adventures ever devised.
     Now in all fairness, it is mentioned that the sister/fiancée was adopted by Altor's family, but he only learns that after they decide to wed.
     Includes the Endless Chase, in which Altor and his companion run trough the same stretch of forest over and over and over again.  And then do it again.  For kicks.
     This movie has at least two sequels.  There is no justice.
_____________________________________________________________________
* Drive In Massacre - A killer runs rampant through a Drive-inn theatre killing people.  Who's doing the killing?  Why is he (or they) doing the killing?  I don't know, and neither do the makers of this film.  Pointless waste of time.
     The ending's kind of good, in a way, but, in a way, you could say the ending's good for all of these films, cause you don't have to watch them no more.
_____________________________________________________________________
* Howling: New Moon Rising:  Yet another game of "Who's the Werewolf?"  Like Super Gamera above, this movie is a whole bunch of clips from the previous series, enlivened by what has to be one of the worst werewolf costumes in history.  The fast forward button was my friend for this one.
_____________________________________________________________________
* Tentacles - A giant octopus attacks a sea shore resort in this Jaws rip off.  It makes Octopus look like a classic.  
     The end has Killer Whale puppets ripping to bits what looks like a real octopus.  Classy.
_____________________________________________________________________
     I've picked these ten because they have given me NOTHING in the way of entertainment.  These movies, for me, aren't even a pleasure to mock.
     Sorry about the length of this post, but I felt giving a straight lists without any explanations or reasons was too easy.  That, and I like to hear myself talk.  On and on and on and on and…..

Chris K...didn't like...Star Wars? Are you indeed a member of the human race? Good Lord. I do have to agree with THe Fast And THe Furious. I just saw it tonight, and even though three people wrote it it had the worst dialogue I've heard in ages.

Cullen,
  I have to agree with you on a lot of these. They are down right bad, especially the Howling one. They haven't made a decent one since the first one. BUT be very thankful you haven't had to sit through the torture that is Satan's Storybook. You would be able to sit through Spawn of the Slythis and say, "This isn't bad."  I have had people ask me if this movie ever existed. Yes, it did and for all the right reasons it is out of print. IMDb has nothing on it but www.Allmovie.com has a little bit on it, and they are kinder than I. If you do find it and decide to watch please have the number of the nearest mental help center available.

I have to agree with Cullen on a number of his choices.  Of course, for me, Pigs (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/pigs/) and Night of the Zombies (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/nightzombies/) have to be mentioned (anything that earned a skull).  "Primal Scream" and "Sorority House Vampires from Hell" also deserve mention.

1) Freedy got Fingered (why anyone watched Tom Green I have no idea)
2) The Telephone
3) Showgirls (so bad I had to watch it in sections...mass nudity was not enought)
4) Jailbreakers
5) Sleepless in Seatle
6) Titanic (True story...aparently the ship did sink)
7) Blair Witch II: Book of Shadows (some movies should not have sequals)
8) Home ALone (1 through whichever they are up to now)
9)Pearl Harbour
10) Titanic (and yes I know I listed it twice it is that bad)

***sorry about the 3x message, keyboard issues...damn enter key is giving me trouble....would delete prev if I could

From Andrew:  Taken care of, no problem!

Here are my picks!  I will never see most of them.

1) Glitter
2)Freddy Got Fingered
3) Speed 1 and 2
4) The Girl in Gold Boots
5) Hobgoblins
6) Space Mutiny
7) Devil Fish
8) Scarey Movie 2
9) Kung Pow Enter the Fist
10) Crocodile Hunter's movie

Babydoll wrote:
>
> Here are my picks!  I will never see most of them.
>
I do not think that you can condemn these movies if you have not seen most of them....

Don't get me wrong- I agree with you on some but Condemning a film before seeing it is a poor idea...That is usually the motication behind bad movie viewers...watching them becuase they are bad....it is like talking about the Great war and having never been in it..(ok bad example-same principal)
Scary Movie 2 was bad but what did you exect--it was a satirical look at all the pop horror films-and the only reason they made a sequal was because Scream had made sequals.

As for Kung Pow that was a very amusing movie...not great but the prem of the movie  was very interesting!!

-Nick Eld

No one mentioned Star Crystal!

BARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

"why is he such a jerk?"
-GAR.

Actually I had a ton of fun watching this movie.
But its soooooooooooo awful and the ending is very
anticlimatic. Andrew can side with me on this one right??

Dan said:
> Actually I had a ton of fun watching this movie.
> But its soooooooooooo awful and the ending is very
> anticlimatic. Andrew can side with me on this one right??

I am with you on the awfulness and the ending being a total wanker, but the fun part?  I don't know Dan, there are times when you have to draw a line.

The review of Star Crystal (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/starcrystal/)

I agree the kid was a worst movie.

For me, most of the movies mentioned [and indeed, many reviewed on the site] don't make the grade, mainly because for the most part they're direct-to-video B movies that would have zero impact even if they were great movies.  To qualify, I think a movie probably has to be a big budget turkey.  It helps if it ruins the career of some of the people involved in it, or nearly sinks a studio.  But the biggest rule is that years and years later, it's still mentioned whenever people in the general public [not just bad movie fans] think of bad movies--many times, it will be better remembered than the "good" movies released in the same year.  

Now I actually LIKE some of these, but they're still bad....it's not a list of movies I hate, just movies that are terrible.  And it's in no particular order---I'm not God, and I can't say that one is worse than another, though there are some I would never willingly sit through again, and some I enjoy a lot.   And if you haven't seen or at least heard of most of these, you can't call yourself a real bad movie fan!

Heaven's Gate
Ishtar
Hudson Hawk
Exorcist II: The Heretic
Freddy Got Fingered [I like Tom Green, but this title will be synonymous with "bad movie" for at least the next decade.]
The Swarm
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Robot Monster
and Night of the Zombies is still pretty bad, though I can't seem to tear myself away from it.  
I can't think of a solid tenth, but it's interesting how quick people turned on Pearl Harbor as compared to Titanic, where it took a few years [and nearly a billion dollars] before people decided they didn't like it.

Restricted to movies I've seen (otherwise I'd throw in most Steven Segal flicks), and not in any particular order: (Sorry for the length)

Gremlins-- Was this supposed to be a comedy, horror, drama?  To me, this movie did not know what it was supposed to be.

Air America-- I couldn't even finish watching this.  Dull and dumb.

_____'s Way (?)  Not Carlito's Way.  Story of a disabled (missing leg & arm) alcoholic , bitter Viet Nam vet and friends.  V. V. stumbles on a blackmailing scheme and takes it over.  Couldn't find the title or plot in IMDB.  Another movie I didn't-- couldn't--- finish watching.

Dave.  Let's see, the answer to unemployment is to just pass a law giving everyone  a job.  Hell, while we're at it, raise minimum wage to $1 million a year.  Everyone's a millionaire!  While I equally hate Sneakers for its politics (moral of that movie, it is ok to steal all the money of the political party you oppose) its story was at least a bit interesting.

Smokey & the Bandit III.  OK, Burt Reynolds, of Cannon Ball Run II,  et al., would not do a third Smokey.  That should tell you this movie shouldn't have been made.

Barry Lyndon.  As Mad magazine skewered it, Borry Lyndon.  

Moonraker.  Um, isn't James Bond supposed to be a SECRET agent.  Is there any intelligence organization that doesn't know who he is now?  Going into space is a definite shark jump.

Dune.  Needlessly complicated book (IMO) gets put into a 2 hour movie, while trying to keep all the complexity.  LOTR is a good example of distilling an epic story into a movie.

Knife in the Water.  God freaking awful.  Polanski is a creep and overrated.  

Number ten could be The Tenant (same reason as Knife in the Water). Or Showgirls (I do have to agree, lots of plot integral nudity can't save it.  I haven't sat through the whole thing yet.)

Easy:

1. Dangerous Minds (I tried to sleep in the theater on this one)
2. Castle Freak (before Dagon I thought Gordon's career was through)
3. The Phantom Menace (saw it opening night and was stunned silent by it's  
    awfulness.  AOTC wasn't much better)
4. Sleeping With the Enemy (tried to sneak out on my girlfriend to play video
     games in the lobby)
5. Mission Impossible 2  (whole family watched it, whole family hated it)
6. Keeping the Faith (Edward Norton is a jerk for making this)
7. Sombre (Look into the mind of a serial killer and yawn)
8. Three Musketeers (The 90's one.  I had to pretend to like this because it  
     was one of my girlfriend's favorite movies.  God forgive me.)
9. Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes (It almost makes me hate his previous        
     films)
10. The Patriot (Who greenlighted this film?  Satan?)

Also, am I the only one who loved (that's right "loved" not "liked") Freddy Got Fingered.  I never stopped laughing through the whole thing and almost everyone I talk to thought it was hillarious also.  What's to hate?  I think the reason critic's despised it so much is that it riduculed everything these movies hold dear ("I'm proud of you son" or "All I wanna do is suck your...").  Plus I learned a great deal about farming and how one would become a farmer.  It's already become something of a cult film and I believe in the years to come it'll be looked back on one of the craziest films ever to come out of the studio system.  Hope Green gets another chance to direct.

I cannot believe nobody mentioned CARNOSAUR.   Ugh.  No entertainment value whatsoever.

chris wrote:

> Also, am I the only one who loved (that's right "loved" not
> "liked") Freddy Got Fingered.  I never stopped laughing
> through the whole thing and almost everyone I talk to thought
> it was hillarious also.  What's to hate

Although I agree with you on all the other films how can anyone like Freddy Got fingered....I mean anyone who is over the age of 12....remember when it was funny to fart in a jar and make your friend smell it....that was when that movie was funny to a person and even that is a stretch.  Putting aside Writing (what writing) ,coninuity (which is really a non-issue when you are going for shock humour only) and a tractor trailer load of other points of abhorment in this film I really have no idea how anything about this even comes close to a decent film  I am sure the backers onthis "movie" were trying to hand themselves with the film stock but probably could not find any copies that had not been destroyed by fans who burned the movie for being ripped off.  

Tom Green's time has past...if he even has a show anymore I am sure its days are numbered.  The man is a horrible director, actor and for that matter a poor comedian at best...but heh who doesn't find airbrushing Lesbians on the hood of their fathers car funny....my guess is he was not beaten enought as a child

I can't even begin to count the funny parts in this film, Rip Torn generally being the funniest.  I agree that Tom Green's time is past, but generally that's when I start liking people.  The less popular most people become is usually equal to their work becoming better.  Now I know that there is no way you can prove something I find funny is wrong or I can prove something you don't find funny is wrong, but if a 12 year old did write this he was probably mentally insane.  Just thinking of Green and Harvey writing some of that stuff is hillarious.  eg. H:"Okay you're driving.  Now what?" G: "How about I see a horse?" H: "Yeah!  Perfect!"  G: "Then I grab it's schlong!" H: "Tom, you're a genius!" G: "But to justify why I do that I"d better say I'm a farmer, can't forget the audience you know."

Well if we are working under the asuption that the less popular people are the better they get Tom better hurry up and p**s of a lot of people-die-then come back and haunt a seniors home....something I am sure he would think it hour sit-com worthy.  Rip Torn is the only reason that I even watched that movie and he was amusing but I think that is like finding the needle in a large vat of chicken manure...rewarding yes...worth it NO!!!...my guess is this was a favor that Torn owed someone in the studio and it was either this or a pound of Flesh- and I am sure he is now kicking himself for not giving up the flesh!   If I were torn I would write this off as something that people will know about but never speak of...like poor ned beatty in "Deliverence"-"Squeel like a Pig boy!!" *SHutter*

AT least that role broke down doors for Beatty.  AS you said I can not prove youw rong nor I - But I just wish people would stop encourging this assanime behaviour (spelling-sorry).  THis is paramount to the people who keep buying Britany Speares albums or *nsync allowing the studios to keep making them.....  If Tom even hopes of having a legitiamate or a career in movies in GENERAL...he should desociate himself with all his previous mistakes including present day and back!!!...You know...like Alanis Morisette did....."ALways to Hot!!! Never to Cold...."

Sorry to keep arguing, I usually say my piece and leave, but Rip Torn is one of the more daring actors in Hollywood.  And even if he did just consider this movie a paycheck (which I doubt, it seemed he had fun) he should be more ashamed of Down Periscope and other mediocre atrocities.  This is the man who recieved an on screen blow job in The Man Who Fell to Earth and uttered worse profanities and did more perverse things in Tropic of Cancer.  Only after Larry Sanders was he considered a "Hollywood Legend", I mean he did The Beastmaster for God's sake.  And to take Freddy Got Fingered as anything more than Green being given 15 million dollars, then saying f**k it to the studio and critics is fooling yourself.  He took the word "bad" to a whole new level and I thiink it was quite daring considering his "popularity".  This is the kind of film Andy Kaufman would of made, some of his specials are just as jawdropping.  The man deliberately tried to get booed off the stage and sabotaged his own rising career.  Not saying Green is as good as Kaufman, but at least it's a step in the right direction.

My Picks:

1) GODZILLA (1998) - Simply the most imcompetent piece of Blockbuster filmmaking I have ever seen in my life. Like an Albert Pyun film with a $130 million budget. At least ID4 was an actual movie. I actually sat in the theater in utter shock at how awful this film really was.

2) TOYS - Robin Williams' most excrutiating movie. Siting through this one in the theater was nothing short of agonizing. I no longer fear hell for I have seen TOYS!

3) CREMAINS - This is some no budget horror film that the CHUD site actually gave a positive review to. Clearly they have no taste in film because this film is virtually unwatchable. Only reason I watched it was because it co-starred a co-worker. Even she hates the movie.

4) ADRENALINE: FEAR THE RUSH - How does Albert Pyun keep getting people to greenlight his movies? Who does he have compromising pictures of? Who is he blowing? How? Why? This one is a headache inducing incoherent mess.

5) CHUD 2: BUD THE CHUD - I actually enjoyed the original. I was actually happy when I heard this was coming out. Then I rented it. Nothing more need be said.

6) MUTATOR - Ultra lowbudget ALIEN rip-off with the late Brion James wandering around a research facility where some pink cat-man monster is lurking about killing people. The effects of the monster are accomplished entirely through the use of hand puppetry and its just the same shot repeated over and over. Hell, the actors never even interact with the monster because they clearly had nothing on the set to work with.

7) SANTA WITH MUSCLES - Hulk Hogan has made many bad movies, but few are as agonizing as this one. Getting a colonoscopy from Edward Scissorhands would be more enjoyable than watching this movie ever again.

8) THE TWONKY -  Very, very obscure sci-fi comedy from the early 50s that tells the story of a mild mannered man who recieves a TV set that can walk, freeze people, light cigarettes with a laser, counterfeit money, and cure sickness amongst other things.  There's a very good reason why this one only played in one theater one time three years after it was made before sitting on the shelf for decades.  

9) TEENAGE CATGIRLS IN HEAT - Quite possibly Troma's absolute worst film and not on purpose either!

10) INDEPENDENCE DAY - Or as I like to call it: IQ4. I can't remember the last time I walked out of a movie feeling as p**sed as I was after I saw this movie. Just a totally braindead movie that is just a collection of plot holes they tried to mask with constant one-liners.

Honorable Mentions:
HUDSON HAWK  
OLD MOTHER REILLY MEETS THE VAMPIRE
LEONARD PART 6
EXORCIST 2
TARZAN, THE APE MAN
BILLY MADISON
FILIPINO BATMAN & ROBIN
MR. MAGOO
KOMODO
THE GIANT GILA MONSTER
SCARY MOVIE 2
THE LOCH NESS HORROR
BATMAN & ROBIN
THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS
JERKY BOYS: THE MOVIE
THE KILLER SHREWS
THE FLINTSTONES
THE CONQUEROR
ON DEADLY GROUND
And just about everything produced by Charlie Band in the 90s.

Let's see, what movies make me wince and shudder and makes me fear watching it again, ever?

1. Octopus (the contempt this movie had for its audience is more terrifying than anything in it)

2. Hollow Man (cinematic excrement so pungent it almost killed me while watching it on DVD.  I could not believe that the director of Robocop and other strong films directed a movie so utterly stupid and offensive to the intellect)

3. Dario Argento's Phantom of the Opera (Crikey what crappy!)

4. Edge of Sanity (Anthony Perkins smokes crack, becomes Jack Hyde and connect the dots from there, dull, poorly acted (with the exception of Perkins) and raunchy as hell).

5. Spontaneous Combustion (the movie that made me think that Hooper's good stuff was a fluke)

6. Death Ship (my wife bought this for me because she loves me and knows I love horror movies, especially ghost stories - I watched it once and swore never again.  I later sold it to Half Price Books for something good)

7.  Return of the Livind Dead Part 2 (Proof that writer/director Ken Weiderhorn's Shock Waves was a fluke)

8.  The Guardian (1988) - William Friedkin directed this utterly worthless piece of s**t which features an unstoppable evil force that cannot work an answering machine!

9.  13 Ghosts - This remake of the William Castle cult classic  simply chugs a  box of Exlax and then proceeds to void itself all over the original.  No whit, no scares, no sense.  With the exception of the ghost in the bathtub scene, this movie shows absolutely no life whatsoever.  I read recently that they had nstarted filming with an incomplete script. Gee I couldn't tell that!

10. Virus - Jamie Lee Curtis, a Baldwin, and Donald Sutherland (who so completely and utterly humiliated in this movie it make you cry) in a botched Alien on the Seas thriller that just sucks.  There is absolutey nothing that you have not seen in this movie in some other better movie.

>>Hollow Man (cinematic excrement so pungent it almost killed me while watching it on DVD. I could not believe that the director of Robocop and other strong films directed a movie so utterly stupid and offensive to the intellect<<

The film's main fault was that in the end the writers forgot it was about an invisible man..not an invincible man.

Nick Wrote:
>"Scary Movie 2 was bad but what did you exect--it was a satirical look at all the >pop horror films-and the only reason they made a sequal was because Scream >had made sequals."

I hoped it would have a plot and "good" writting. (no cursing every second of the movie) I know that was asking too much.

1, feeders
2. feeders
3. feeders
4. the horrible feeders sequal that haunts me only in my nightmares
5. feeders
6. feeders
7. feeders
8. FEEDERS!
9.feeders
10 and lastle...feeders.

AKA the "non-moving-grey-puppets-on-sticks"

-mr. henry

>8) THE TWONKY - Very, very obscure sci-fi comedy from the early 50s that tells
>the story of a mild mannered man who recieves a TV set that can walk, freeze
>people, light cigarettes with a laser, counterfeit money, and cure sickness
>amongst other things. There's a very good reason why this one only played in
>one theater one time three years after it was made before sitting on the shelf for
>decades.

 I actually watched this one a couple years ago on one of the cable channels, just to be able to say that I'd seen it. Ouch!

>9) TEENAGE CATGIRLS IN HEAT - Quite possibly Troma's absolute worst film
>and not on purpose either!

 I've only seen this one on USA. Does the uncut version at least have gratuitious nudity?

>The film's main fault was that in the end the writers forgot it was about an invisible
>man..not an invincible man.

 I've always wondered; how do invisible people see? If light passes through their entire body, that means it passes right through their eyes too. In other words, their corneas wouldn't focus the light on their retinas so at best they'd just see colored blobs.

The Parasite -   the only DVD i have ever removed from existance with a shotgun.

I dare you to watch this Andrew!   You think Galactic Gigilo was bad, you aint seen nothing yet :)

Here are some I utterly hate: Night of the zombies (The German winter camp version with the same title is MUCH worse then the Bruno Mattei movie by far), the howling new moon rising, hobgoblins, santa with muscles, beast from haunted sea, curse of the screaming dead, zombie 90, zombie bloodbath series, pigs, tons of full moon crap is out there too etc. Return of the living dead doesn't deserve to be on any bad list.

I nominate "Nadja", the most boring artsy, self-pretentious vampire movie ever

Do you mean this movie? (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/parasite/)  Or is it another?

Gotta love old movies with stars before they were stars...who wish they could forget or ignore them ("Tammy and The T-Rex" comes to mind)

Give, Jamie Lee Curtis credit, she's always seemed grateful for where she came from and what the fans did for her

I can't believe I forgot a few(My list is way more than 10)

Ishtar (I dare you to sit through it)

Grease 2 (I didn't mind the first one, but My God did we need that?)

Jay O'Connor wrote:
>
> I nominate "Nadja", the most boring artsy, self-pretentious
> vampire movie ever

Have you seen HABIT or THE ADDICTION?  Both made in New York City, both draw pretentious comparisons between drug addiction and vampirism, both completely suck.  THE ADDICTION gets bonus pretentious marks for actually being set in the New York academic philosophy world.

Curse you, magic beans!

Here's some that spring to mind in no particular order.  Yeah, I know, it's more than 10.

It's Pat: The Movie
Saturday the 14th
Ed Gein
Dazed and Confused
Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD
Inspector Gadget
Unbreakable
The Lion King
3000 Miles to Graceland
Mouse Hunt
Blues Brothers 2000
Strange Brew
Toys
Rocket Man
Rollerball (Remake)
History of the World Part 1
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

I was tempted to include Freddy got Fingered, Troll 2 or Spice World, but those have entertainment value to me.  The movies on the list are terrible *and* hard to sit through.  If a movie can at least be laughable, I think it's redeemed itself to some extent.

Chris wrote:

>4. Sleeping With the Enemy (tried to sneak out on my girlfriend to play video games in the lobby)<

>8. Three Musketeers (the 90's one.  Had to pretend to like this because it was one of my girlfriend's favorite movies.  God help me.)

Ahhh, the stupid s**t we men do for love and sex.  And even I have to admit, that was straight ghetto.  And you probably don't even live in one in your state.

One more thing, is you girl still with you even after what you said about her movie going taste?

Its a different flick,  something about a hypnosis experiment gone awry..  The only thing i really remember is the director,  Andy Fromke,  i remember that name because i swore to avoid anything with his name on it from this time forward.

Information on the Parasite Redjack's talking about can be found  here  (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0130177) and  here.  (http://www.filmvault.com/filmvault/tw/p/parasite1.html)

Andy Froemke is the directors name..   NetFlix shows the box cover for the movie i'm talking about, but its on the listing for the other parasite movie.

How in the f**k is History Of The World Part 1 hard to sit through? Dude, a 10-minute musical number ABOUT THE INQUISITION!!!

The inquisition, what a show!
The inquisition, here we go!
I bet you're wishing, that we'd go away!

Haha...Mel Brooks = 0\/\/N@G3

Do you convert?
NO, NO, NO NO!
Do you confess?
NO, NO, NO NO!
Do you revert?
NO, NO, NO NO!
Do you say "yes"?!
NO, NO, NO NO!
Well I've asked real nice, and I've said "pretty please,"
I've worked over their knees, and now I'll work on their knees!

1) Vanilla Sky (Just unbearable Tom Cruise narcisist vehicle)

2) We were soldiers (Some good ideas, but crappy direction ruins them)

3) Beowulf (Christopher Lambert vs Culture)

4) Adrenalin (just for once, the typo mistake is not mine)

5) Glimmer Man (Steven Seagal plays an intelligent cop)

6) On dangerous ground (So the way to stop an ecological disaster is to blow the Oil Rig? You go, Steven Seagal!)

7) The patriot (Ugh!)

8) Godzilla (Emmerich's remake)

9) Rebel without a cause (Yes, the one in which James Dean is traumatised because he sees his father doing the housework)

10) Creepozoids (Crappy Alien exploit).

This is the same guy who thinks UNBREAKABLE is one of the worst films ever so I don't think he's thinking clearly. :)

Thanks for the heads up.   After reading that, now i understand why its so bad.

Unbreakable was terribly slow with no real payoff.

History of the World Part One was just flat out terrible.  I did not laugh once.  I've enjoyed Mel Brooks movies before, but that one just wasn't even remotely funny.

Brock wrote:
>
> Unbreakable was terribly slow with no real payoff.
>

Rumor has it that it was the first segment of a trilogy (each movie a one act play that, when viewed together would create a three act play).  So that could explain the lack of quick pace and 'pay-off'.

I haven't seen it, but will.

Chadzilla, who is getting really hyped about Signs.

It was originally going to be a trilogy, potentially, but I think M.Night has gone on record saying that that probably won't happen now.  I don't think Unbreakable got the response he was expecting...if it had done better in theaters, maybe, but I don't think there's enough interest to justify a sequel. And I'm not just saying that because I didn't care for it.

But yes, Signs does look cool.

Maniac (1930s)
Murder by Television
Myra Breckinridge
Gummo
Freddie Got Fingered
Bolero
Beast of Yucca Flats
Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves are Here!
Bubbles Galore
Gore Gore Girls

Chadzilla, love the Jaws quote at the bottom of your post. Is that an auto matic inclusion from your computer, or is it from Andrews system?

Now I would understand Speed 2 being a dud, but Speed1 ?  What were you thinking?  Did that whole bus jumping the highway gap thing?  Ok, a 10+ton bus doing a 50ft. jump is over the top, but don't just knock the whole thing.

Andrew's system, frankly I barely know how to work a computer.  Turn it on, point and click, beyond that.........................

No, two seperate girlfriends on both movies, and can ya believe it, they both dumped me (it should be mentioned that I wasn't seeing them at the same time, as much as I tried)!  After having to watch movies like Without Honors I'm the one who gets dumped!  I shoulda been given a freakin' medal.  On the bright side though, now that I'm single and lonely I can watch whatever damn movie I please.

>No, two seperate girlfriends on both movies, and can ya believe it, they both
>dumped me (it should be mentioned that I wasn't seeing them at the same time,
>as much as I tried)! After having to watch movies like Without Honors I'm the one
>who gets dumped! I shoulda been given a freakin' medal. On the bright side

 Maybe they dumped you because they thought you actually liked chick-flicks.

No, I'm pretty sure they didn't think I liked the movies.  I'd complain and complain and complain.  Such as, "I hate this stupid film", "God this is gay", "This is so gay", "The fact that you took me to this makes you less attractive to me", "Yeah right!  Like there's such a thing as true love!", "At least the lead chick is hot.  I'd do her","Then again, I'd do just about anyone but you after taking me to this stupid gay film", "I love you, no wait, I mean I loathe you".  So I'm fairly positive they didn't think I enjoyed those movies.  I guess why they dumped me will remain a mystery.

...chris, be my  hero...

>I guess why they dumped me will remain a mystery.

 I'm stumped...

Okay I'll mention it, Carnosaur is not that bad in my book. I like it because I can't stand Jurassic Park and the Carnosaur trilogy is one of my favorites. As a matter of fact the whole thing is sitting on my movie shelf and they are always fun to pop in while I'm bored.

Carnosaur is the worst of the trilogy but It's still better than a couple hundred other movies I actually like. You can have your opinion, but no this: There are so much worse.

I didn't mention Carnosaur on my list because that while I hated the movie, I can see someone else liking it.  Thus I couldn't reasonably consider it one of the worse movies of all time.

The same goes for a lot of the mainstream movies on some of the list here.  I can see someone out there liking them (and, on one or two occasions, I've seen movies on other people's lists that I liked myself).

Okay the top 10, well this changes every ten seconds but here is what I can think of:
(not in any particular order though)

1. Satan's Cheerleaders (1988?)- I actually own this movie...
2. See No Evil (197?)- I own this one too...
3. Hell Highway (2002)- Anything by Brain Damage is caustic to me, but this one is just plain  ludicrus
4. Teenage Caveman (2000)- porn, talk, porn, cool ending but to little to late to be enjoyable.
5.Batman in Robin was pretty bad...
6. Ghoulies 4 was pretty rancid, but I can enjoy this one once in a while.
7. The rest of the Ghoulie series which I can enjoy frequently.
8.Raptor- Jim Wynorski has appeared twice on my list now but I can still say this one works as a good highlight reel to the Carnosaur Trilogy.
9.Head of the family is crap too but it's got a bit of that guilty pleasure in it.

and 10...

10.Merlin's shop of wonders or some such has a vague adaptation to Stephen King's the Monkey and that is plenty dumb but also some fun too.

by the way, I like Super Mario Brothers... Oh Well.

Oh, my god, I think Flash Gordon was one of the *stupidest movies* I have ever seen in my life! I couldn't even sit through the entire thing. It was cheesy and it sucked bad.

OK, in my book, there's the painful, sleep inducing B-movies, and then there's the enjoyable ones that I will remember for eternity...So here are 5 of the most painful ones I ever saw, followed by 5 of the most enjoyable ones:

Top 5 Suicide Inducers:

(1: Ghoulies 3 (this remains the only B-movie that I couldn't finish watching...it actually felt as if my brain was slowly dying, and that I was losing motor control of various parts of my body)

(2: Planet of the Vampires (a movie made in Italy in 1965..it aired on American Movie Classics a few months ago, but I can't find a mention of it anywhere. This one's a sleep inducer...after I barely made it through, I took a 4 hour nap..)

(3: Monster High (I truly hated this movie.. I think it was because it tried to be clever and witty, and it was just stupid.....ugghh...I felt insulted by the movie..)

(4: Splatter University (What can I say? This movie just sucks...no fun...no surprises.....nothing outstanding about it...it just sucked...and that's it...)

(5: Ghost Ship (At least there were some funny George Kennedy Lines)


Now, for my top 5 enjoyable B-flicks:

(1: Zardoz (still is clearly the weirdest movie I have ever seen)

(2: Uninvited (I don't know what it is..maybe its that I love cats.....I don't know, but it just makes me laugh so much....at the end, why did stopping the cat involve putting one of the suitcases in the water? The cat was able to get into the boat, right? One of the great mysteries of the world, I guess.)

(3: The Story of Ricky (the most violent movie I have ever seen....I love it!)
(4: Class of Nuke 'Em High (The Cretins are the undisputed idols of my dark side...bar none)

(5: At the Earth's Core (The exploding fire-breathing lizard scene will make me laugh for the rest of my life)

Octopusjarboy writes:

"Planet of the Vampires (a movie made in Italy in 1965..it aired on American Movie Classics a few months ago, but I can't find a mention of it anywhere. This one's a sleep inducer...after I barely made it through, I took a 4 hour nap..)"

Planet of the Vampires was directed by the great Mario Bava.  It is credited with being one of the many inspirations behind Alien.  It's been years since I watched it and only remember then end, which I won't reveal here.

Further information on Planet of the Vampires can be found  here.  (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0059792)

IT may have sucked, but how can ya not appreciate Ornella Muti in spandex..    Made the whole thing worthwile for me

It's understandable, I just happen to feel that it all ddepends on what you like. I still can't believe that Satan's Cheerleaders has not been mentioned more though... Worst movie of the 80s.

Anyway, I respect your opinion and I could see why you could hate it (I usd to).

1.Simply Irrisistable
2.The Animal
3.Chucky 1
4.Chucky 2
5. Chucky 3
6.Country Bears
7.Peter Pan Return To Neverland
8.Goldylocks
9.The Fly
10.Jimmy Neutron

I don't know if anyone even reads these posts anymore, so damn many but crap i gotta put my two cents in.  And I am upset someone named Strange Brew as a terrible movie!  I love that movie! Also I really liked Trick or Treat, second to only Rock n roll nightmare for heavy metal horror.   Now in no order....

1. Allison's Birthday-- Okay this sucked end of story
2. Lunch meat- I couldn't even finish this one.
3.Titanic- God I hated this movie.  Have you no consideration for the ppl who died on that boat, maybe they didn't want to be exploited to make Leo DiCaprio more money.
4.Mr.Nanny-Hulk Hogan sucks
5.Crow City of Angels- It was just plain disrespectful to make a sequel to a good movie that someone died making.  And insulting to make it a bad sequel.
6.Fearless Vampire Hunters-- Sorry Sharon Tate (god rest her soul) but this movie sucked
7.Unbreakable-- I have to agree with the other person who hated it.  It moved way too slow for as simple of a plot as it was.  I saw it free at the union, but i still wanted my money back
8.Gummo--I only saw part of it, but some little girl talking happily about being molested doesn't make for a good flick
9.Street Fighter-- The game was cool, the japanese animation movie was cool.  The live action movie sucked.  They could've at least made Ryu as hot as he is in the game.
10.Damn near anything with Julia Roberts (pretty woman was ok) God I hate her.

I limited myself to movies I had seen (or at least seen part of)  

I wonder if anyone will read this,
Deena

1. Blair Witch Project
2. Bogus Witch Project (Pauly Shore thing)
3. They Saved Hitlers Brain
4. Battlefield Earth
5. Mesa of Lost Women
6. Frankensteins Castle of Freaks
7. Amazon Women of the Moon ( some comedy about b-movies)
8. She Devils on Wheels
9. Howard the Duck
10. Two Thousand Maniacs

In retrospect, I think THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN is worse than either PLAN 9 or ROBOT MONSTER....it probably should be on my list instead of one of those.
But I couldn't finish watching it.

I can't decide if PLAN 9 is better than ROBOT MONSTER or not.  Should I give Ed Wood credit for creating what he believed to be a masterpiece, or should that cement his place in infamy, in that he was trying to make the best film he possibly could and that's what he came up with?  My stupid, stupid mind will never be able to make a decision, so I guess I'll just leave my list as is.

The difference between THEY SAVED HITLERS BRAIN and PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE and ROBOT MOSTER is that PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE have entertainment value. The only entertainment value of THEY SAVED HITLERS BRAIN is the title and the talking head on the DVD.

In no particular order:

1. Halloween:Resurrection
2. Scary Movie
3. Five Bloody Graves
4. Necromania (Ed Wood)
5. The Beast of Yucca Flats
6. Blood Shack (Ray Dennis Steckler)
7. Godzilla (1998 American Version)
8. Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II
9. The Alligator People
10. Son of Godzilla

1. Castlefreak
2. Sleepaway Camp
3. Ravenous
4.The Brotherhood
5.Dr. Giggles
6. Bleeders
7. Batman and Robin
8. Freddy Got Fingered
9. Life of Brian
10. The Others

man, obviously u dont know ur ass from ur elbows! save the last dance is a great movie and u just dont appreciate it....u probably sit at home all day and watch movies like "the majestic" or even " men in black 2". but u know, everybody has ther own opinions and i respect that, its just that...............YOURS SUX!!!

paiceZombie wrote:
>
> 1.The Kid
> 2.Clifford
> 3.Return To Oz
> 4.Return of the Living Dead
> 5.Phsyco Beach Party
> 6.Micheal Jackson's Moonwalker
> 7.Save the Last Dance
> 8.The Care Bears Movie
> 9.Super Mario Bros.
> 10.Fast and the Furious

Save The Last Dance had some entertainment value as Julia Stiles frightens me.

>Julia Stiles frightens me.

 How so?

Here are some of my picks they aren't in any particular order butl the first 2 are just plain painful to me.


Vengeance of the Dead (This movie almost had me  cursing with it's awfulness.  Words cannot describe the pain I went through)

Wes Craven Presents Carnival of Souls (What was this movie thinking.  It made me get terrible grades in school)

Pinochio's Revenge (I waited years to see it then when I did I hated myself)

Wishmaster 3 (  Forced wishes, an Archangel, A sword and a shiny Djinn)

Grim (  What can be said about this movie)

The Fear ( The movie about the wood dummy that "killed")

Breeders ( Nudity CANNOT save a film)

Blair Witch 2 (  A good way of showing how exactly drugs are bad)

Troll 2 (horrible just for the acting alone)

301/302 (Korean shocker about a cook and her neighbor and food and death.  Just awful)

Oh God!  I agree with Cullen.  Most of these posters don't know PAIN.

I read Andrews review of Sorroity Vampires blah blah, and was thinking of trying it.  Until I played the clip.  I then realized that I wouldn't make it through it.  A man's gotta know his limitations.

As I think through some of the horrors I have seen,  the ones I have seen with the help of Mike/Joel and the bots have always been tolerable.  Not always good, but tolerable.  Except for one film.  A film I have only seen mystied-once.  I cannot watch it again.  It caused me serious pain.  It caused a weird emotional reaction in me.  I simply cannot watch this demented piece of filth ever again...even mystied.  It is THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES.  I don't even like to think about it.

In the category "How Could this Thing Possibly Have Been Made" I tip my hat to Maestro Ed Wood and his debacle "Plan 9 From Outer Space".  Ed was a serious alcholic and had other hangups to boot, but he must've swilled a fith of hooch each morning whilst directing this train wreck.  The production quality of this film alone leaves ones mouth agape.  I mean the freaking Tombstones are card board and they bend.  There is no continuity checking...the errors are so many and obviuos it's beyond belief.

On slow Saturday afternoons I watch the schlock on the SciFi channel after MST3K reruns.  One movie they like to show is a Howling flick, "The Rise of the Marsupials" or some such nonsense.  It's quite bad, though not terribly painful, except for the end.  You see at the end of the flick the were-marsupial and her hubby decide to get back into the movie business (yes this brave cutting edge flick combines the werewolf genre with the movie-in-a-movie genre-how avante....oh never mind).  She becomes a great actress (so we're told-hey IITS) and her hubby is a powerful director.  Now during the flick it is revealed that when exposed to flashing lights, the were-marsupials turn into their "were" selves.  And, at the end of the flick, our female "were" lead is at an awards show and the cameras start flahing and -BaBoing-she goes a changing on live T.V.  Do you understand the pain?  She's a big star, and this is the FIRST time she's been subject to flashing lights?  Yeah sure.  

For a hard core Star Trek fan like myself, Star Trek 5 is extraordinarily painful.  After 21 some years of Star Trek we find out Spock has a brother...oh brother.  Oh the pain....And then...An aged and hefty Nichelle Nichols (Uhuru, who was quite the fox in the 60's) does a "sexy" moonlit striptease (PLEASE SHATNER, FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY,  STOP!)....I can't go on, the memory is too painful.

Disney's "The Black Hole" came out when I was a starry eyed 13 year old.  I really wanted to see this movie.  Disney promoted  the hell out of this turd.  It was incoherant and quite awful.  The space ship walls were obviously made of paper, and the cartoonish "floating" robots were obviously moved about by wire.  Not only could you see the wires, but also their movement screamed "something heavy being pulled along from above by wires".  Truly bad.

It's one thing if a movie that has a budget predicated on the funder's ability to recycle aluminum cans is bad, it's another when $100,000,000 is p**sed away on it's production, and it has some acting talent to work with to boot.  Batman and Robin is so appallingly bad, given the resources available to the filmakers, it leaves me  speachless.  Ed Wood made movies on virtually no money at all.  They're bad movies, but few of  society's resources were waisted in their making.  Batman and Robin is a sin.  The absolute waste of talent and resources doumbfounds me.

Speaking of bat people, although I hate to throw in another mytified movie, but  "The Wild, Wild, World of Batwoman" is really a horrible movie.  It makes no sense at all.  Scenes in the movie just make my brain hurt.  The opening of the movie has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the movie.  The logic centers of my brain go into overload when I try to connect any of the scenes.  It is a painful movie. Mike and the bots make it watchable however.  I only recommend the mystied version.  

As one who has read The Lord of the Rings trilogy 12 times, The Hobbit thrice, The Silmarillion 10 times, and Unfinished tales twice, I find Ralph Bashki's abomination, the poorly animated "The Lofd of the Rings", particularly offensive.  If you've never read the books, the movie makes no sense whatsoever.  If you have read the books the movie is offensive.  In Tolkein's world, elves are graceful, beautiful, immortal beings.  They do not make keebler cookies, nor are they faries, whcih is the way Baski portrays them.  As one reviewer of the movie wrote, it has all of the hit scenes in the books without any connecting information to substantiate them.

I don't know the name of this one.  It is a western made in the late seventies.  It starred Anne Margaret, Kirk Douglas, and Arnold Schwarzeneger.  I found it painful in the extreme.  Email me if you know the name, as I've only seen it once.

Last and extremely least is another mystie, "Manos: Hand of Fate".  What to make of this thing?  How could anyone think that this would work?  Well if you look into the history of the filming of this garbage, you will find that nobody, outside of the director, thought this thing would work.  I can't describe the mind that made this movie and thought it worthy of making.  My mind boggles.  It frightens me that such a person ever existed.

>I don't know the name of this one. It is a western made in the late seventies. It
>starred Anne Margaret, Kirk Douglas, and Arnold Schwarzeneger. I found it
>painful in the extreme. Email me if you know the name, as I've only seen it once.

That would be The Villain.

First, Julia Stiles looks like she has Downs Syndrome. Second, she keeps playing unbelievably white people trying to be black, which I imagine she actually does in real life. She's also completely interchangeable with the chick from Traffic and Swimfan and Leelee Sobieski, which hints at some sort of evil cartel.

1. Titanic
2. Pearl Harbor
3. Con-Air
4. A.I.
5. Police Academy 5
6. Police Academy 6
7. Police Academy 7
8. Gone In 60 Seconds
9. Loaded Weapon 1
10. Phantom Menace

i know # 1 is a tie between Manos and Freddy got fingered!

MANOS is pretty bad...that one is definitely one for the list.  Which I think I'll revise...

In no real order...

MANOS
PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE
THE SWARM
FREDDY GOT FINGERED
ROBOT MONSTER
THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN
EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC
HEAVEN'S GATE
HUDSON HAWK
HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD [aka NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES]


Honorable mentions: THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES, CUTTHROAT ISLAND, ISHTAR....