Badmovies.org Forum

I just got finished watching parts of "The Fury" on AMC, and all I can say is: Oh, thank God. The '70s are dead. So are the '80s. Thank God. Thank God.

(1) Why can't anyone just come out and say it? Brian De Palma is a ripoff artist, and that's the only kind of "artist" he has ever been. He steals and steals and steals, and everyone calls it a "homage." That's crap. It's not a homage. It's theft. Take away his "source material" and you have nothing. His successes have been due solely to his casts and crews, and his reliance on gore effects to wake the audience up every fifteen minutes. (You can set your watch by the shattered blood-dribbling skulls in "The Untouchables.") At least Gus Van Sant's Hitchcock ripoff was directly attributed to the source...

(2) Kirk Douglas, Andrew Stevens, Amy Irving. Holy $#!! Any one of those names creates the urge to stuff a gun barrel in my mouth, and this turd has ALL THREE. Hollywood has yet to create a special-effects monster as frightening as Kirk Douglas in all his horny-old-man glory. (Cross references: "Saturn 3," "Holocaust 2000," and any other movie in which his pants come off.)

(3) John Williams: if they made you turn in previously-earned Oscars for bad work, this would have cost you "Jaws." It's nice to listen to on its own (I actually owned the soundtrack for years without having seen the movie!), but in the context of the film it is amazingly distracting and annoying - even compared to your later work.

(4) Even blowing someone's guts up can't hide the fact that the "script" is filled with utter nonsense at every turn. John Farris couldn't write a good grocery list. Forehead-slapping moments of incredulous disbelief abound. No, no, the "psychic phenomena" is okay--it's the stupid things characters do to keep the "story" rolling that leave one giggling on the floor. Hm, psychic people make folks bleed and blow up. I think I'll lock myself in this room--alone--with one, p**s them off, and see what happens. Why? Because the movie's almost over and we don't know how to end it!

(5) Glowing blue eyes? Ha ha ha, cheap animation, your magic carpet back to a bygone era. Pointless caption: MID EAST 1977. Why, thank you movie; I thought it was New York 1933.

(6) Okay, the psychic phenomena is bulls--- after all. Andrew Stevens turns someone into a flying. bleeding merry-go-round, floats in the air for several minutes, then flies across a room like Superman--or at least Pumaman--with the power of his mind...but then hangs on for dear life after falling out a window. Um...blood and glowing blue eyes! Ha ha ha.

(7) Some people go on and on about the movie's "conclusion." Get over it: they blew up a stiff dummy full of Karo syrup. For crying out loud, it's so silly-looking by today's standards that AMC didn't even cut it. Besides, if you're the sort of freak that strokes off to slasher-movies and effects like this, you need to be spending your money on psychological help instead of "Fangoria."

Some movies just slap you in a face and demand you hate them. "The Fury" makes me wish I could blow crap up with MY mind...I know right where I'd start. BRIAN!