Badmovies.org Forum

A bit off the topic but me being the helpful guru (not) I am I thought I would enlighten you with a lesson Dr. Demento taught me of things not to say during sex. Feel free to add to the list. To get us started here's:
Oh did I mention the video camera?
I hate people who think sex means something
It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate or blow up.

OK time to come clean. I'm a virgin and want to know what things to avoid saying. There I admitted it.

Difference between a wife, a lover, and a hooker

Hooker: Are you done yet?
Lover: Are you done already?
Wife: I think the ceiling needs painting

"Your kinkier than my girlfriend."

Wait!  Wait!  Let me get the manual
Is that all?
Fido was never like this!
This is almost as good as when I'm alone!

Your sister lets me do that to her.
Your mother lets me do that to her.
You're better when you're sleeping.
I like it when you call me "Cousin Eddie".
Oh, Mom!
Can you say "baaa!" like a sheep?

Things not ta say:

The holocaust is a myth.
God you're ugly!
My bologna has a first name....
Check out this gay porn I rented!!!! (Bully reference)
Be quiet or I'll cut you b***h!

and try not to cry while doing it.  Ruins the mood.

This is the second best sex I've ever had!
Am I as good as your father?
I'm trying out a new herpes medication, let me know if it's working.
Do you think your grandmother would be interested in a threesome?
By the way, I told my friends they could borrow you.

--"Ouch. Owwwwww. F***ing crabs."
--"Ouch. Owwwwww. Damn, let me get some lubricant."
--"Damn, that's hairy."
--"Is this a pimple or a boil?" ("Simpsons" reference)
--"Prepare to beam up."
--"Gojiraaaaa!!!"

Uh, sorry about the tags I'm no good with names
You're great Sarah... it is Sarah isn't it?
Would you mind putting this bag on your head?

Bend over and show me your dark side!
Cover me I'm going where no man has dared go before!
Now you aren't gonna tell anyone are you?

"I feel the force". (from a spanish flick)

You know my other girlfriend does it a lot longer.

You look good in the dark. (from Microwave Masacurre)
OH CARL! Oops, I mean...

Squishy wrote:

> --"Gojiraaaaa!!!"


I dunno, there's a certain appeal to this one...  I'll see if I can report back.

Nathan

Next!
Do you always let your dog watch?
I gotta split in five minutes so let's hurry.
You're almost as good as my dildo/vibrator
I forget, how much do you charge? (unless she is a hooker, then it is only mildly bad).
(yawning)
(snoring)

And truly in bad taste and I apologize in advance:
You are HIV positive, right?

"Wow, Mom never moved like THAT!"

IT'S OFFICIAL, WE ARE ALL GOING TO HELL!!!

nm

"Take me, Louie Anderson!"

Do you accept Visa?

Very witty --
Does anyone know whatever became of Louie Anderson's plan to do a film bio of Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle?
PS:  Vermin:  Did you mail out my new Demons of Stupidity?   I need to get Stupid, dude!!
Yours in Firesign
peter johnson

Did I tell you my aunt died in this bed?

You're good! I'll bet Achmed gives me twice as much for you as my last girlfriend!
Damn, I think these are the condems my little brother poked holes in...

The doctor said it's not contagious.

-----------------------------------------------------------
From every1in NYC, c-ya

"I believe I can fly.  I believe she was only five..."

-----------------------------------------------------
From every1 in NYC, c-ya

"Uh-oh. Gonna spew."
(anything in Jar-Jar talk)
"Ohhhhhh! Prince of Space is coming!!"
"Hey, let's get my sister in here! Hey SIS!!"

--Hey, Nathan, how did it go? Did you say it like the guy at the end of "Godzilla 2000" (light a smoke, strike a pose, bellow it defiantly), or like the helicopter pilot in "King Kong vs Godzilla?" (My idea was to scream this upon first seeing one's partner's goodies. Guaranteed to get one killed, whether they get it or not.)

i want your abortion.

Is that your final answer?
You are the weakest link. G'bye.
Hey, kids, come in the room and see what you'll be doing when you're teens

I didn't say we could have a threes--Rover, get from back there.  I said we can do it later.
-----------------------------------------------------------
From every1 in NYC, c-ya

Uh, when's this meant to feel good?
I want a baby!
Man your breath stinks!!!!!
Smile you're on Candid Camera!

I can't wait to tell all my friends in high school that I just had sex with R. Kelly.
---------------------------------------------------------
From every1 in NYC, c-ya

Wow, this is way different with an adult!
(pointing at genitalia) Check this s**t out.
We're going to burn in hell for sure.
Pull my finger.

Where's this thing go?

Mommy always let me, why won't you?

I wish we could be brother & sister.
Let's try anal sex, you can be Frank.
Call me daddy!
Come on, move! You don't expect me to do all the work do you?
Let me try something new, my other girlfriend really loves it.
So tell me, how many other custo... I mean boyfriends have you had?

Bite the pillow baby!!!!  I'm Cumming!!!!