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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: The Burgomaster on January 20, 2003, 02:55:07 PM



Title: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: The Burgomaster on January 20, 2003, 02:55:07 PM
Check out "Curse of the Headless Horseman," which is available from Something Weird DVD on a double-bill with "Carnival of Blood." Both are terrible, but "Headless Horseman" is dreary, pointless, and has just about the worst acting, photography, special effects, editing, etc. that I have ever seen. It literally looks like a bunch of friends got together with a camera and made up the story as they went along. At least "Plan 9" was funny. "Headless Horseman" is just plain AWFUL in every imaginable way.

A great addition to my bad movie collection!


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Scott on January 20, 2003, 03:28:49 PM
Sounds like a bad bad movie. In fact not a movie at all. Well I always say "Just because its put on film or video dosn't make it a movie". It has to have some entertaining value. Intentional or not.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on January 20, 2003, 03:30:37 PM
The worst movie ever made is The House That Vanished, hands down.  I just bought my third copy from eBay in our campaign to destroy it utterly.  Sidehackers also springs to mind.  Michael Pataki, ick, ech, ptooey!

Brother R


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: TC on January 20, 2003, 03:57:45 PM
Children of the Living Dead is on the top of my list at the moment.  Everytime I watch it, I find a new flaw in it or something that makes me scratch my head and wonder why.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Fearless Freep on January 20, 2003, 05:41:14 PM
"Robot Holocaust" always comes to mind when I think "worse movie ever"
"Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell" is in the running as well.



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Vermin Boy on January 20, 2003, 05:43:19 PM
Night of Horror. Watching this movie is like heroin withdrawals. Every time you think it couldn't get any worse, it drops you into another circle of hell. You do not want to see this movie.



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: GeeWhiz on January 20, 2003, 06:12:14 PM
I still think it's gotta be "Bloodsucking Freaks".  Let's face it.  How can you beat a bunch of naked women who have to hold their cage together or a Ballet Dancer (?) who is going to kill someone by kicking them to death while dancing on their toes?


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Evan3 on January 20, 2003, 06:26:39 PM
 Im sorry, but I have said it before, and I will say it again, the worst movie ever is American Psycho


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Pancho on January 20, 2003, 07:10:00 PM
Die Monster Die or Wes Craven's Carnival of Souls.  The Clown at Midnight is close too.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Neon Noodle on January 20, 2003, 08:13:20 PM
Zombie Cop.

Bad, bad, BAD movie.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Perk on January 20, 2003, 08:22:32 PM
Pancho wrote:
>
> Die Monster Die or Wes Craven's Carnival of Souls.  The Clown
> at Midnight is close too.

Wes Craven's Carnival of Souls is one of the ovies that made me almost fail MAth.  That movie gave me a headache for weeks.  God was it awful


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: BryceDavid on January 20, 2003, 08:26:51 PM
I hated American Psycho too. But, there are a lot of folks out there who think it's a masterpiece.


Title: How about these?
Post by: BryceDavid on January 20, 2003, 08:32:05 PM
TERROR OF THE JUNGLE. Anyone seen this Crown International epic? It's really bad AND funny. It's the next PLAM 9 FROM OUTER SPACE just waiting to be discovered.

LEGEND OF LYLAH CLARE. Personally, I believe this is the worst movie ever, considering who made it and who's in it. Some might watch it and say it's not that bad but LYLAH CLARE is the kind of movie that looks "normal" but upon closer inspection, the movie is a complete  mess and it doesn't make any sense at all. It's brilliantly bad. I love it!!!!


Title: Re: How about these?
Post by: ErikJ on January 20, 2003, 09:33:45 PM
You can check my other posts when it comes to worst movies.
If I said it once I will say it a million times Satans Storybook is the single worst film ever made. Porn star Ginger Lynn make her main stream fime debut in this. You get bett production and better acting from a cheap prono than this.
All of you who say you know what the worst film is have no idea how bad this is. Unfortunetly my wife is on a mad hunt for this film because of my warnings. Kung Pow and Freddy Got Fingered wasn't even near as bad as this.


Title: Worst Movie Ever is Not a B-movie
Post by: Creepozoid on January 21, 2003, 12:05:07 AM
it would hafta be something mainstream. PEARL HARBOR comes to mind.


Title: Re: Worst Movie Ever is Not a B-movie
Post by: Scott on January 21, 2003, 12:07:18 AM
Battlefield Earth


Title: Re: Worst Movie Ever is Not a B-movie
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on January 21, 2003, 12:25:04 AM
If we want to go with mainstream, nothing can come anywhere near Fast and the Furious.  I hate that movie like few other things on Earth.

Brother R


Title: Re: Worst Movie Ever is Not a B-movie
Post by: BlackAngel on January 21, 2003, 12:48:26 AM
I will say these two movie over and over and over again when it comes to worst movies made:

Batman and Robin
Mortal Kombat: Abomination


Title: Re: Worst Movie Ever is Not a B-movie
Post by: Chris K. on January 21, 2003, 01:11:02 AM
Most definately PEARL HARBOR and THE PATRIOT on my list.


Title: Re: Worst Movie Ever is Not a B-movie
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on January 21, 2003, 04:22:40 AM
Mortal Kombat: Acrossthenation (hey, it Busta Rhymes, shut up) is very much akin to receiving a donkey punch from a 300 lb. Thai hooker with a razor-edged strap-on that squirts a mixture of Potted Meat Food Product and hydrochloric acid.
I couldn't stop twitching for a week.

Brother R


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Tygge Withlin on January 21, 2003, 05:52:18 AM
Excellent question.  However, I doubt I'd ever be able to answer it, as I am always finding new and astoundingly bad movies.  And that's a good thing : )


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Neon Noodle on January 21, 2003, 06:35:10 AM
worst mainstream movies?

The Beach
Gone Fishin'
Vertical Limit


Title: Re: Worst Movie Ever is Not a B-movie
Post by: Vermin Boy on January 21, 2003, 07:59:02 AM
If we wanna go mainstream, anything on Lifetime that isn't called Goodfellas or Silence of the Lambs.



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Bernie on January 21, 2003, 10:55:36 AM
Zardoz.

Only movie I ever walked out on.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Scott on January 21, 2003, 10:59:56 AM
I liked PATRIOT and ZARDOZ.

Patriot as a historical drama and Zardoz with the floating head of stone.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Fearless Freep on January 21, 2003, 11:45:39 AM
Zardoz with the floating head of stone.

And a Sean COnnery trying to establish a "post-James Bond" career running around in red underwear most of the movie.  He ended up doing all right for himself, but this early effort wasn't to reassuring



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: raj on January 21, 2003, 01:48:09 PM
I love Zardoz, it is pretentious & incomprehensible.  You can always read more into it than what is there.  However, it is best late at night, with a couple of beers, and the brain in neutral.

The penis is bad, the gun is good.

The worst movie I ever saw, I can't  remember the title, or who was in it.  The box cover featured the (naked) back of a woman in a jungle pool, with a waterfall in the background.  It centered around a couple searching for a lost treasure, with the requisite bad guys.  If I saw the cover again, I'd know it, but I guess it was so bad (read dull) that I have had to repress the memories.  It was rated R, but there was not much in the way of violence, and no nudity even to save it (and I didn't rent it a Blockbuster).  There might have been some island voodoo in it, I think it was set in Indonesia or the Philipenes.  Dull movie, unsympathetic characters.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Funk, E. on January 21, 2003, 04:37:27 PM
Geez... This is about as hard as picking a favorite. There are so many truly dreadful efforts aout there one can hardly think of one that takes the cake without some other PTSD invoking memory pops up.

Jugular Wine, oh sweet jesus
Beast from Yucca Flats, Noooooo!
Virus, Can't.... stop... twitching
Redneck Zombies, oh stupid inbreed people are funny... NOT!
Alien Resurrection, Please, somebody kill me... please I beg of you make it stop!


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on January 21, 2003, 04:59:48 PM
Urg.  The movie you're talking about is, I believe, Death Head Virgin.  It has something to do with voodoo and the figurehead of an old boat that comes to life and kills people or something to that effect.  And you're right, it's a dull, boring pile of crap that could put you to sleep if you had an IV caffiene line straight into your heart.

Brother R


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Scottie on January 21, 2003, 05:35:44 PM
That sounds like To the Devil.... A Daughter starring the once beautiful Natasha Kinski.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: raj on January 21, 2003, 05:38:32 PM
Oh no, any movie starring a naked Natasha Kinski could never be all that bad!


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: raj on January 21, 2003, 05:40:39 PM
Auuggghhhhhhh!  Flashbacks, no, the horror, the horror.

That's it.  Shudder.  Avoid this at all costs, it has no redeeming qualities, either intentional or non.

Brother Ragnarok wrote:
>
> Urg.  The movie you're talking about is, I believe, Death
> Head Virgin.  It has something to do with voodoo and the
> figurehead of an old boat that comes to life and kills people
> or something to that effect.  And you're right, it's a dull,
> boring pile of crap that could put you to sleep if you had an
> IV caffiene line straight into your heart.
>
> Brother R


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on January 21, 2003, 06:32:55 PM
If you want to see Nastasia Kinski naked, rent Cat People.  Besides the boobies (giggle), it's actually a good movie.

Brother R


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Evan3 on January 21, 2003, 08:56:37 PM
Let me tell you. There is an old horror one called the Relic. It was sooooooo crazy and sooooooo stupid. Ugh! The monster's origin was terrible too, it was mailed to a museum, alive and ready to kill, no radiation or anything.

As for mainstream movies, another awful movie was that Leo movie Romeo and Juliet. Yuk. How bizzare was that.

Also, dont dare butcher history by calling the Patriot a historical drama. I am a History major. I am touchy about these things.

But nothing as I have said, will be as awful as American Psycho/.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: TC on January 21, 2003, 09:10:09 PM
I would say that the Relic was a pretty mainsteam horror movie, and a decent one at that.  It was based on an even better book by the same name.   For a movie to be bad for me, it has to be bad in every respect.  At least movies like Planet of the Apes, Pearl Harbor, ect. are technically compentant.  I like my bad movies to scream "This move was made by a bunch of guys who had nothing to do after bowling season was over, so they threw this together"


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Fearless Freep on January 21, 2003, 09:10:38 PM
But nothing as I have said, will be as awful as American Psycho/.

Oh...puh-leeze.  I'm watching Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0085935) this week.  (Having just survived "Ator, The Fighting Eagle" (survivedhttp://us.imdb.com/Title?0085183) and "The Blade Master" (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0086972))



Title: Re: Worst Movie Ever is Not a B-movie
Post by: Pancho on January 21, 2003, 10:02:46 PM
I didn't think it was that good...........


Title: Wild Wild West
Post by: BryceDavid on January 21, 2003, 11:43:54 PM
A film can be *really* bad and still be technically competent. Personally, I thinks it's too easy to knock a low budget film that cost $50. If a movie with a $200 million budget that looks 100% competently made but stinks to high heavan because of bad acting or really bad dialogue or really crappy end results, well, I believe can be one of the worst movies ever. Take WILD WILD WEST for example. Absolutely pitiful in every respect but it's still "competent" looking. There are tons of big budget movies from Hollywood these days that make PLAN 9 look like a masterpiece.


Title: Re: Wild Wild West
Post by: Scott on January 21, 2003, 11:52:33 PM
Yea, I was very dissappointed when I went to see WILD WILD WEST.


Title: Re: Wild Wild West
Post by: TC on January 21, 2003, 11:53:49 PM
Except for the brief glimpse of Salma Hayek's ass.  That was a-ok with me.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Creepozoid on January 21, 2003, 11:58:14 PM
No one's mentioned any shamless vehicles for singers or chick flicks. What up wit dat?


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Fearless Freep on January 22, 2003, 02:01:02 AM
No one's mentioned any shamless vehicles for singers

Of course!  I completely forgot the Jon Mikl Thor vehicle Rock And Roll Nightmare (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0093873)



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Fearless Freep on January 22, 2003, 02:15:53 AM

A film can be *really* bad and still be technically competent.

Yes, a movie can be compentantly produced and still be 'bad' due to bad acting, story, etc...

A movie can also be fairly good even if's a micro-budget.  The production value may be zilch  (see the wires on the UFO and the zipper on the monster costume?) but it can have an intelligent story and good acting and still be enjoyable to watch if you are willing to look passed the 'I financed this of my parents credit card' look.

I'm usually willing to give that weight in coming up with an opinion about a movie.  I usually ask myself "what are they trying to do?  Is it worth doing? And how close to the mark did they come?"

Look, a slasher flck is just trying to be a slasher flick.  Not a lot of pretension and a fairly low hurdle to clear.  You kinda know what to expect; if they do it well: kudos, if not: well...    This is different from something like "Ishtar" or "Battlefield Earth" where they have the personal and the money to make something good and by all rights they should be able to.   But a compenenly made, professionally produced but stupid movie still doesn't hurt as much as a low budget movie with delusions of granduer, a confusing story and bad acting.

I happen to watch a lot of post-apoc sci fi movies, often involving androids or time travel, or both.  Lot of those out there; some are well done, some are not.  I'm not going to compare "Eliminators" to say "Lion In Winter", but I will compare it to "Equalizer 2000"



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: JohnL on January 22, 2003, 07:08:53 AM
>It has something to do with voodoo and the figurehead of an old boat that comes
>to life and kills people

Stop, you're making me want to see this movie! :)

One of my personal worst is To the Ends of Time. It starts with *FLYING* sailing ships attacking an apparently floating castle, with cannons. The king orders the wizard to come up with the ultimate weapon, so he creates a clock that will cause their enemies to age and die in a matter of days or hours and which, once started, can *NEVER* be stopped. The king is horrified and tells him to destroy it. Well duh! When did you think he was going to make when you asked for the ultimate weapon??? Of course an evil sorceress steals it and turns it on, causing the peaceful kingdom to start aging rapidly, which means the actors start wearing really phony looking old age makeup. A young boy goes on a quest to stop the clock and ends up dying of old age right as he gets there, but as he dies, he drops the ring the princess gave him, into the giant clock. This causes it to be destroyed and everything goes back to the way it was. Hmm, an unstoppable clock that falls apart if you drop a little piece of metal into the giant wooden gears.

Now that I'm remembering it again, I have the urge to gouge my one good eye out with a fork.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Evan3 on January 22, 2003, 03:55:13 PM
hmmm, Does anyone remember that movie Mr. Mom with Hulk Hogan, I think I reppressed it.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: TC on January 22, 2003, 03:59:28 PM
Yup...I think you mean Mr. Nanny.  That movie was godawful.  I never caught either of his other movies - Suburban Commando or Santa With Muscles.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: raj on January 22, 2003, 04:27:05 PM
Then there is Heaven's Gate which, IIRC, caused a movie studio to go under.  Now that's a bad movie.  I haven't seen it, so I can't say just how bad it was.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: BryceDavid on January 22, 2003, 11:13:05 PM
I watched Heaven's Gate and I had to stop becaue I couldn't follow it. It's a mess alright. But mentioning HG reminded me of another Michael Cimino(sp) disaster: Desperate Hours, with Mickey Rourke, Anthony Hopkins and Mimi rogers. REALLY BAD! Lindsey Crouse, who plays the chief FBI officer or something like that, gives the weirdest performance ever put on screen. It's simply odd.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Andrew on January 23, 2003, 12:26:08 AM
> The worst movie I ever saw, I can't  remember the title, or
> who was in it.  The box cover featured the (naked) back of a
> woman in a jungle pool, with a waterfall in the background.
> It centered around a couple searching for a lost treasure,
> with the requisite bad guys.  If I saw the cover again, I'd
> know it, but I guess it was so bad (read dull) that I have
> had to repress the memories.  It was rated R, but there was
> not much in the way of violence, and no nudity even to save
> it (and I didn't rent it a Blockbuster).  There might have
> been some island voodoo in it, I think it was set in
> Indonesia or the Philipenes.  Dull movie, unsympathetic
> characters.

I think that this might be "The Deathhead Virgin."  The IMDB entry shows a different box cover than I remember - it had a woman in front of a waterfall and it was dark, so all you could really see was her outline.

http://us.imdb.com/Title?0211328



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Neville on January 23, 2003, 06:51:57 AM
You couldn't follow Cimino's "Heaven's gate"? Hope it was the short version, because in the four hour version, the problem is exactly the oppossite, that nothing at all happens for hours. I have to say I liked it. Somehow watching a beautifully shot film where nothing happened at all felt strangely refreshing at the moment.

My personal pick here would be "Missing in action II" or "Missing in action III".


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: akiratubo on January 23, 2003, 11:54:16 AM
Several anime titles come to mind.


Title: Re: Grrrrreat point!
Post by: Chadzilla on January 23, 2003, 02:17:58 PM
Beautifully said, wonderfully put - no better explaination of why I enjoy funky little cheap slasher movies or cyborg movies, or Kaiju movies with spunk and heart (or at least competence) over stuff that is, well, overproduced and rather bland.

Town and Country?



Title: Re: Grrrrreat point!
Post by: Fearless Freep on January 23, 2003, 02:32:11 PM
Beautifully said, wonderfully put

Thanks :)


Title: Re: Grrrrreat point!
Post by: raj on January 24, 2003, 12:49:28 PM
Or, which to my horror was showing on Sci-fi last night:

DUNE

This movie should be exhibit one on how not to adapt long and complex (and quite frankly, self-important , with visions of grandiosity) books into movies.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: str0ntiumd0g on January 24, 2003, 01:19:12 PM
Any movie with Hulk Hogan was plain terrible! Actually so are most wrestling matches involving him too. There is one I saw with him and Shannon Tweed a while ago. Thunder Mountain or some other stupid name like that but it was a dodgy action movie. Hated that!

One film that I have to say I hated with a passion was Jeepers Creepers. That movie was the biggest waste of my time! I've enjoyed dental surgery more!Pearl Harbour too!



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: michael shea on January 24, 2003, 10:05:27 PM
OK ater careful consideration...
1. Sextette
2. Nukie
3. Follow that rainbow

2 and 3 are VERY obscure and hard to find.  Even Brad Grintners blood freak (funny) took a backseat to these two.   THey are both South African Productions BTW.  Furthermore Nukie was supposed to be the breakthrough hit for an up and coming suth effrican director  ewe ewe ewe


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Bubba on January 25, 2003, 11:12:47 PM
The worst movie ever made was called "The Worm Eaters" and it was directed/starring/written by Herb Robbins. I found it in the bargain bin at the video store thinking it might be funny.
I was wrong.
Runners up include "Manos," "Battlefield Earth," every other movie on MST3K, and "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (yes, I realize it's a cliche, but it just plain sucks.)


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Scott on January 28, 2003, 02:37:57 AM
Yes, I forgot about WORM EATERS. It does belong along side BATTLEFIELD EARTH. WORM EATERS is not even funny, just plain stupid. If anyone wants to trade for this film I am willing. I have the DVD.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: paulita on January 28, 2003, 02:49:55 PM
the worst film ever made? of course "she" is so bad that i really love it, so bizarre that u cant belive that someone has did something like that


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Bubba on January 28, 2003, 05:55:29 PM
You have the DVD? Holy crap! How brave! I threw out the bargain basement video I got right after I watched it. Lordy, after "Worm Eaters" I thought I'd need therapy!


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: The Burgomaster on January 28, 2003, 05:57:35 PM
WORM EATERS has a great theme song though: "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms . . . "



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: jmc on January 29, 2003, 02:02:23 AM
NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES is still pretty freakin' bad...yet I can't look away.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: mr. henry on January 29, 2003, 11:55:13 AM
feeders...Feeders...FEEDERS!!!


- mr, henry



Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Scotty Xtreme on January 29, 2003, 10:29:45 PM
2001 A Space Travesty, bleahch


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: Bernie on January 30, 2003, 03:23:54 PM
Now you're just trying to provoke an argument.... :-)


Title: Don't Go In The Woods!
Post by: BryceDavid on January 31, 2003, 11:52:51 AM
Well, after my memory was prompted by another thread, I completely forgot (for good reasons) to mention "Don't Go In The Woods." By far, the worst movie I ever saw.


Title: Re: Worst movie ever made?
Post by: JohnL on January 31, 2003, 10:45:49 PM
A couple nights ago, I had the misfortune to watch Voodoo Mardi Gras. A bunch of girls go down to New Orleans and are kidnapped one by one by a voodoo cult (3 guys in robes). This thing looks like a cheap porno movie (same acting, same level of quality), only without the sex and nudity. They didn't even have enough material to fill the film's 70 minute running time, so they had to pad it with scenes of the girls dancing in their room, walking around the city, etc. I looked on the IMDB and there was one comment that had nothing but praise for the film. I made sure to post my own comments (which are awaiting approval).