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"Now, don't you worry. The saucers are up there. The graveyard is out there. But I'll be locked up safely in there." Plan 9 from Outer Space.

"You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid." Plan 9 from Outer Space.

"I may be a b***h, but I'll never be butch!" A Smell of Honey.

"Home. I have no home. Hunted, despised, living like an animal. The jungle is my home. For 20 years I have lived in this jungle hell. I was classed as a madman, a charlatan. Outlawed in the world of science, which had previously hailed me as a genius. Now here in this jungle hell, I have proved that I was right."
Dr. Varnov -(Bela) Bride of the Monster

"Bert.....Frank......We have a little problem down here at the office"
1985 Return of the living dead

"If the cash is there, we do not care" - Deep Rising
"Next time someone hands you an exploding ham, I'm passing the mustard" - Jack Deth, Trancers 2

"We're all responsible for the actions of our mothers."  

Not sure if it is the exact quote, but it's from "Attack of the Flesh Eating Mothers."

"Gimme some sugar baby."
"Good, bad, I'm the buy with the gun."
"You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and s**t. And Jack just left town."
Army Of Darkness

"I ain't that good"
Army of Darkness Bootleg Edition

"Now bow down and kiss my converse."
"Now, when I say 'who is da mastah,' you gotsta say 'Sho'nuff!' "
The Last Dragon

"Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a f**k how crazy they are. "
From Dusk Till Dawn

 "I am the law! "
Judge Dredd

"'You speak Yiddish?'
'  No, but I can read the subtitles"
Fatal Instinct

Some I've always liked are:

"Why don't you stick a broom up my ass? I could sweep the carpet on the way out!" - Sean Connery in METEOR

"We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends: future events such as these, will affect YOU in the future!" (NO SH*T!) - Criswell in PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE

"You want to wear your sister's dress? WHAT for?"
"I want to wear it to the costume party tomorrow night..."
"There are NAMES for boys who go around wearing girl's dresses!"
-dialogue exchange in GLEN OR GLENDA

"Oh my GOD....he's been CASTRATED!!!" - Mink Stole in PINK FLAMINGOS

"...your mother sucks c**ks in hell, Karras, you faithless SWINE!!" - Regan in THE EXORCIST

"...ohhh, you ARE sick!!" - Jack Nance, to "The Baby" in ERASERHEAD

"I wouldn't suck your LOUSY dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your BALLS!" - Mink Stole in FEMALE TROUBLE

"I HATE YOU! F**K YOU AWFUL PEOPLE! YOU'RE NOT MY PARENTS! I HATE YOU, AND I HATE CHRISTMAS!!!" - Divine in FEMALE TROUBLE

"Someone has sent me a BOWEL MOVEMENT!!" - Divine in PINK FLAMINGOS

"...Meester Potty!" - Carmen Miranda constantly mispronouncing Edward Everett Horton's character's name (Mr. Potter) in THE GANG'S ALL HERE

"How'd you like to get f**ked with a meat cleaver?" - Michael Biehn in THE FAN (1980)

:-) Sure there's many more I could think of!

"I got good news and bad news girls; The good news is that your dates are here."

"What's the bad news?"

"They're dead."

- Night of the Creeps

One of my favorite lines is from "Army Of Darkness"

It's near the end in the final battle scene when Evil Ash lays siege to the castle.

Sheila is possesed and says, "You found me beautiful once."

Ash says, "Lady, you got real ugly!"


LOL!!!!

"I kick arse for the lord!"
Father McGruder in Dead Alive (although just about every line in this movie is hilarious)

"When Hell is full the elves will walk the earth."

hehehe!!!!

from "Elves" !!

love colleen

"I am a m0nster....a L0VE m0nster!"

Richard griec0- "T0mcat Danger0us desires"

"well isn't that just mean and nasty!" -the Street Fighter

"Well, one thing for sure. Inspector Clay is dead...mudrered,,,and somebody's responsable!".  Plan 9 from...ah, we all know where from!

In "Horror Express", Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee are one of several pairs searching for the body-hopping monster.  Just before they set off, they are warned that anyone,even them, might be the monster -

"But my dear chap!" exclaimed Peter Cushing.  "We're BRITISH!"

Ah - brings a smile to my face every time.

One of my favorite exchanges from Nailgun Massacre:

"Lets play doctor!  Its time for the organ transplant... you can be the donor and I'll be the recipient"

Aah, who could forget this immortal exchange from Six String Samurai?

"If I were you, I'd run!"
If you were me...you'd be good looking!"
"Well...that's not nice!  Kill him!"

Heh...I think at the moment, that's my favorite flick.

This reminds of AT THE EARTH'S CORE, when Peter Cushing faces the pterodactyls, who have the ability to hypnotise people.

"You cannot mesmerise me! I'm British!"

While we are talking about the British

Lucy: "Oh Jonathan, let me kiss you. "
Jonathan "But Lucy, I'm British."
Lucy: "So are these. " indicating her breasts

Dracula Dead And Loving it

"I'll beat you 'til you smell like onions." - From HOODLUM

"Dolemite's my name . . . f#&king up motherf#&kers is my game." - From DOLEMITE

Most of my favorite lines are not in bad movies. Ghostbusters has so many of them I don't even know where to start.

There was a tag line for a movie that I forget the name of staring Sean Connery it when soemthing like this "In a moment, World War 3, but first a word from our sponsors"

My favorite line from Bladerunner is: "That was irrational. Not to mention unsportsmanlike"

" My life is t0 c0mpani0n with calabash till drunk!" - Sha0lin Drunkard

"What's that smell?"
"Dookie."
"Dookie?"
No Holds Barred

"Oh I got more than a newspaper, and you get to find out what it is!"

"And next year, same time, same place, if you’ll be our guests again, you’ll see the product of the next phase of evolution. Twenty-five years from now, if you’ll come next fall, what you’ll see will be the only thing that stands between humanity and itself."
Both From R.O.T.O.R.

"F*ck me gently with a chainsaw!"
- Heathers

>My life is t0 c0mpani0n

Hey, lester1/2jr, what exactly is wrong with your 'o'? Is it physically broken or does it just not register when you press it? If it's the second one it probably just needs cleaning. Flip the keyboard over, take out all the little screws, take off the back, take off the plastic flex circuit and clean the contacts for the 'o' key with a Q-tip dipped in alcohol. Do both the ones on the circuit and the one on the bottom of the key. Put it back together and the 'o' key should be fine. Various keys on mine stop working occasionally, and this has always revived them.

Hey, lester1/2jr, what exactly is wrong with your 'o'?

I'm sorta curious myself because back when he said his 'o' was broken, he had a few 'o's in the post

For what it's worth, you can type an 'o' on a broken keyboard by using the Alt key plus the decimal code for the character you want on the 10-key pad (with numlock on).  'o' happens to be 111 so you can type enter an 'o' with Alt+111.  You must hold the Alt key down while typing the numbers

A is 65, B is 66..etc...

Firstly, that decimal code bit amuses me to no end.  As for movie quotes:

"If I was a religious man, and not the thinking person that I am, I wouldn't say this thing thinks it's Satan, I'd Say it IS Satan."
"Well, Satan is in deep s**t."
Dick and Harley from Split Second

"Rock and roll!"
Guitar Wolf from Wild Zero

"I can't take another stupid kung fu scene, I'm out of here."
Girl from Bloodsuckers from Outer Space as she walks off set and away from a rather silly fight scene

Dick and Harley from Split Second

Was that the one with Rutger Hauer vs the Monster?  I don't recall that line

"Guns... big f**king guns" also form Split Second
"What, did you have a brain tumor for breakfast this morning?" Heathers
"That's bad. Good safety tip , Egon. Okay everyone, don't cross the streams." Ghostbusters
"... you fish faced enemy of the public!" The Producers

That would be the Split Second.  It's one of my favorite movies.  It's just so damn cool.  There's another great dialogue between Dick and Harley about Oxford guys eating breakfast, but it's really long and I don't feel like typing it all.

Brother R

I'll have to re-watch it, my memories seem a bit dim on that one

"I don't see any generals here... All I see are fools!" Jackie Chan, Fantasy Mission Force

"Come on, man, we gotta do something. We haven't done anything since last night. Let's get some money. Let's do something. Let's ball it up." Etc., etc., etc. From Rat Pfink A Boo Boo

Just about the entire script of Plan 9.

How about the dialogue during the "Egg Man" scene in PINK FLAMINGOS? I'm not sure if it's bad dialogue or bad acting (or both).

“Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody’s responsible.” – Duke Moore in Plan 9 From Outer Space

“This morning I had long conversations with him on the phone earlier in the day.” – The Bearded Guy in Jail Bait

“To be like the hu-man. To love like the hu-man” – Ro-Man in Robot Monster

“Bevare of ze big, green dragon zat sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys.” – Bela Lugosi in Glen or Glenda

“There is no way out of here. It will be dark soon. There is no way out of here.” – Torgo in Manos

“I take care of the place while the MASSSter is away.” – Torgo in Manos

“The ever beautiful flowers she had planted with her own hands were only to become the lost roses of her cheeks.” – Criswell in Plan 9

“Monsters to be pitied! Monsters to be despised!” – Criswell in Night of the Ghouls

WOMAN: Why does Godzilla keep protecting us?
MAN: Maybe it is because Godzilla is inside each one of us.
- Godzilla 2000

“Let me give you a little advice, Mitchell: Watch out for falling rocks” – Martin Balsam in Mitchell

“Mah mah mah mah Mitchell, what would your mother think?” – Hoyt Axton in Mitchell

LITTLE BROTHER: You really like Godzilla.
KEN: Superman beats them all.
-Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster

From The Producers.
Woman: Oh, will you shut up?
Franz Liebkin : You shut up! I am Ze Author, i out rank you!"

"Here's your mucus"
-Ghostbusters

"I'd p**s on a spark plug if I thought'd do any good"
-Wargames

"I'm going as fast as I can, all this s**t's labelled in German!"
-Creature

"Don't kill anyone until we get back to you."
-The Lost Boys

hmmmm...... so many quotes, so little time.....

"I was going to expose you!"
"I know...so I choose to expose myself."
"Please, there are ladies present!"

-Clue

and as for Heathers, I'm surprised no one's mentioned this one:

"Don't they have a "no fags allowed" rule in the cafeteria?"
"Well, I guess they have an open-door policy for a**holes, don't they?"

and my personal fave, from Roadhouse, during the final fight scene where the guy has Patrick Swazye in a headlock and he whispers:

"I used to f**k guys like you in prison!"

Laughed for days at that one...

"Take that, you dinosaur!" from GODZILLA VS, KING GHIDORAH

I just remembered a good thing to do with movie quotes.   Here  (http://www.research.att.com/~ttsweb/cgi-bin/ttsdemo)'s a site where you can Hawkingise any text (30 word limit).  Dolemite quote's seem to work best so far.

Pete

"Ladies and gentlemen, don't panic.  There's a herd of killer rabbits headed this way."

Night of the Lepus

Gives me fits, but then I may be easily amused.

"How're those maggots?"
"What?"
"Maggots Michael, you're eating maggots. How do they taste?"
-The Lost Boys

"Everything was fine until the containment unit was turned off by Dickless here."
"Is this true?"
"Yes, this man has no dick."
-Ghostbusters

"When they want to give the universe an enema, this is where they stick the nozzle."
-Saturn 3

"Dead or alive, you are coming with me."
-Robocop

"He'll find her, that's what he does. That's all he does! You can't stop him. He'll wade through you, reach down her throat and pulling her f*cking heart out!"
-Terminator

"So doc, is Reese crazy?"
"In medical terminology... He's a loon!"
-Terminator

"I've got a trig midterm in the morning and I'm being chased by Guido, the killer pimp!"
-Risky Business

"In one year and a day you will be dead" The Beast (Equinox)

"I'm going to give to you that your mother didnt, your death" Death Sport

One of the worst lines I've heard is in species when Forest Whittacker walks into the room with the seriously dead guy and says "I sense something bad has happened here" WELL DONE!!!

For the funniest lines I would have to go for Hot Shots or Airplane.

" When I look at you men I wish I was 20 years younger... and a woman."

" Surely you can't be serious.
   Of course I'm serious... and don't call me Shirley."

Favorite lines from "BAD MOVIES"

Last time I checked the ones you quoted from weren't considered bad.

From "Tank Girl" (1995)
-----------------------------------

Donner: Wanna dance?
Jet Girl: I don't know how.
Donner: It's okay, I brought the condoms!

Tank Girl: Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry s**t continues just shoot me now please. (After being captured by Malcolm McDowell and subjected to several lines of poetry).

From "Knock Off" (1998)
-----------------------------------

Tom Hendricks (Rob Schneider): What?! There are knock-off artists in Hong Kong?! I don't believe it!

Jean Claude Van Damme: I must take this jeans out! They are going to explode!

From "Judge Dredd" (1995)
-----------------------------------------

Herman Ferguson (Rob Schneider): 5 years? But I had to, they were killing each other in there!
Judge Dredd (Sly): You could have gone out the window.
Herman Ferguson: 40 floors!? It would of been suicide!
Judge Dredd: Maybe, but it's legal
 
Herman Ferguson: I am alive! I am alive!
(Judge Dredd appears from nowhere)
Oh, and so are you.

Friday
Chris Tucker: You got knocked the f**k out!!

Tucker: I need to use your bathroom
John Witherspoon: What you wanna do #1 or #2?
Tucker: #2
Witherspoon: Nobody's droppin' no stinky loads up in this house 'cept me.

Rush Hour2
Jackie Chan: I'm Micheal Jackson, you Toto
Tucker: You mean Tito, Toto is what we had for dinner.

Babershop
(A scene where an angry woman has a bat and goes postal on the wrong man's car)
Lady: This ain't Malcom Brown's car?
Man: Who the hell is Malcom Brown?!!
Lady: uh, My bad.

Army of Darkness
Ash: Yo, she-b***h, let's go.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meteor Man can kick Superman's ass.

I'm jumping in here late, don't know if it's been said already:

Laugh all you want, monkey boy!
-Buckaroo Bonzi (John Lithgow's character)

Rush Hour2

The funniest line in Rush HOur 2 was in the outakes, after the bad guy flies out the window and Chan and Tucker are watching and Tucker says "Well I guess he's not going to be in Rush Hour 3"

Watched part of "Savage Dawn" last night. At the start of a fight of Lance Henricksen against a couple of bullies, Lance says "Don't touch me...unless you love me".  That's an instant favorite line of mine, now

"I'm Doctor Ted Nelson."

    From The Incredible Melting Man. Burr DeBenning acts like it's some sort of damned magic word that he utters it so often.