Badmovies.org Forum

This is something to think about here... In the early 70's you have the occult explosion (resulting from Rosemarys Baby) and in the late 70's you got the slasher explosion (because the box-off hit Halloween) and in the middle of all this you have giant rabbits, zombies, bees, killer cars, monster babies, ESP assassins, deadly sharks... besides your standard vampire, wolfman, and Frankenstin's Monster... as well in the past you could be hunted as a witch or torchered by the SS... and in the future you could be killed by an acid bleeding Alien...

Good God you have to love the movies durring the 70's...

1... Lead Female character will have ugly bell bottems.

2... When there are two girls in a room toghther they are most likly have sex.

3... Woman find older men with thick mustashes to be sexy.

4... Killers can detect a couples having sex.

5... Any item a killer grabs is a deadly weapon.

6... A killer that is walking can ketchup to somebody that is running.

7... Toxic waste is stored on an island, and results into giant growth.

8... Whenever the killer seems to be dead, the hero will walk by the body so the killer could grab the hero's feet.

9... Teenagers are 24 years old actress or 30 years old actors.

10... There is always a smart ass scientist that tells the military how to do their job, and when the military fails the smart ass scientist will then say, "If you listen to me none of this would of ever happen."

11... In nature attack movies, somebody will get eaten inside the car.

12... In nature attack movies, the hero is never bitten. (even if 10 million ants are crawing on the hero)

13... A football stadium could reach in freezing temputures in matters of seconds.

14... Its smart to combat bees inside a building with a flamethrower.

15... Sharks can detect a couples having sex.

16... People in the water cannot feel their feet getting eaten.

17... Cops smoke pot.

18... Cops of a small town always think the "New Guy" is trouble, and say things like, "Get out of my town."

19... The New Guy, is a city guy that is dorky looking and ask for a drink in a bar that nobody can pronuce.

20... Small Towns are in the south, and big towns are in the north.

Here are a few too:

1) Killers can smell dope smokers.

2) Killers can disappear at will in broad daylight at a moments notice.

3) Upon hearing strange noises the firxt place to check is the basement with the broken light.

4) The killer's real target is always the nerdy girl.

5) The "strange" new guy is always the hero.

6) New housing projects are always built on reclaimed indian burial grounds.

7) Don't go into the light.

8) The killer will never kill a girl until after the random gratuitous breast shot.

9) In the dark a girl will always think the killer is the guy she just had sex with.

10) Mysteriously stacked furniture is only the kids "acting up".

11) The deputy sherriff is always an idiot.

12) A killer can take being beaten, shot, stabbed, burned, blown up etc. without even breaking a sweat.

13) A camp where teenagers were horribly massacred is a major holiday spot for teenagers.

14) The child in the family always spots the killer first but is never believed.

16) One guy will always calm a group of terrified people down just before being decapitated himself.

17) Blackouts only occur when a killer is on the loose.

18) The killer's psychiatrist will always know how evil the killer was and packs the firepower to take him down.

19) After attempting to take the killer five or six times an up close examination of the body is needed by the hero.

20) Being stalked will cause the social reject heros to fall in love after the killer "dies" but the body has disappeared. In the sequel the true loves will have split up becuse the girls holywood career has taken off.

Here are mine:

1. On a camping trip, there will always be 5 couples, and one nerdy guy with no girlfriend.

2. If a girl is running through the woods with the killer following behind her, she will eventually run straight into him as he jumps out from behind a tree.

3. There will be more close-ups of the killer's feet than of any other part of his body.

4. The killer is usually severely mentally handicapped, yet outsmarts everyone in the movie, including the police.

5. There is usually a shy, ugly girl. By the end of the movie, she takes off her hat, glasses, and nerdy clothes and she looks like a waitress at Hooters.

6. The opening credits say something like, "Special Guest Star, Al Johnson." No one has ever heard of Al Johnson.

7. The musical score is a complete ripoff of the "screaming violins" from PSYCHO.

8. One of the guys will get killed while he is using binoculars to watch a girl undress.

9. Someone will open a closet and a pile of junk will fall out. Later in the movie, someone will open the same closet, and a dead body will fall out.

10. The killer is related to one of the potential victims.

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1.) The Government is conducting a super secret warfare test that has gone horribly wrong.  To better hide this fact, they kill the hero, the heroine, their kid, their dog and the population of several small towns that no one notices are gone.

2.)  No matter how fast or far you run, you will always wind up right where you started...in the killer's lair.

3.)  Children are evil, plain and simple.  Kill them before they kill you.  (Man did the Boomers have issues or what?)

4.)  It's better to make money on the Festival, Reunion, New Something or Other than save lives by killing the monster, for if you ignore it, it will go away.

5.)  Nature is superior to man, hence we will either become part of its food chain (Kingdom of the Spiders), be ruled by it (The Bees), or just be outsmarted by it militarily (The Swarm).

6.  Never, ever, in a million years, ever go to a rural area.  If you do, then may God have mercy on your soul, for the local inbreds will not.

7.  The bad guys always win, always.

8.  Kindly old people are either psychotic murderers, demons from hell, or both.

9.  A serial killer will plot truly intricate and utterly ghastly ways to kill victims.

10.  The devil and/or his minions has a lead foot/feet and loves partaking of a good old car chase, not to mention grinding some pour soul to hamburger beneath a pair of steel belted radials.

1. The main characters are never in any danger until they LEARN that they're in danger.

2. If you encounter an evil cult, EVERYONE you turn to for help will be in on it, even if you go to the feds three states away.

3. Cars will stall when you need them most and only start at the last possible second.

4. When you think you've blocked every possible way into a building, the killer will discover a secret entrance that nobody else knows about.

5. When the hero or heroine has knocked out the killer and has them at their mercy, they will simply walk away giving the killer time to recover.

6. When running from the killer, the heroine must always trip and then be unable to get back up.

Rednecks/Country folk are psychotic perverts that get excited when youngins from the big city come down for vacation.

1)  Immaculately-maintained, low-mileage cars will refuse to start or suddenly die for no reason at the most inopportune moment.

2)  The killer will only ever use edged weapons.

3)  Nobody else except the killer has a weapon.

4)  If by sheer chance someone else does have a weapon, it will not work.

5)  If the weapon does, indeed, work, the user will be the worst shot in the world and miss the killer.

6)  Law enforcement officials have to pass exams in Stupidity, Blindness, Inaccuracy and Prejudice.

7)  The Sherrif is always i) In on it  ii) The killer's dad iii) A pervert iv) Wrong

8)  The soundtrack rips-off "Halloween" or "Psycho" or both.

9)  The title tries to include some reference to psychiatric disorder.

Conrad wrote:
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> 9)  The title tries to include some reference to psychiatric
> disorder.

Or a Holiday/Celebration.

Hahaha! You guys are great. Can't really think of anything you've missed.

Good work!