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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Johnny Blister on May 07, 2003, 07:41:07 PM



Title: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Johnny Blister on May 07, 2003, 07:41:07 PM
Name the two sci-fi movies you jerk off to,and why.

I get turned on by giantesses,so I choose Disney´s"Alice In Wonderland"and"Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman"(with Daryl Hannah).

And you?


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: systemcr4sh on May 07, 2003, 08:03:11 PM
..............................


geh...?



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Johnny Blister on May 07, 2003, 08:05:43 PM
What?

You think you´re the only one with unusual sexual fantasies?


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: trala-log on May 07, 2003, 08:40:49 PM
i jerk off to faces of death


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Vermin Boy on May 07, 2003, 09:49:17 PM
Am I the only one who thinks that'd be a great quote to put on a t-shirt?



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Johnny Blister on May 07, 2003, 09:54:32 PM
Are you the same Vermin Boy that posted comments on WWWF Grudge Match?


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: AndyC on May 07, 2003, 11:11:40 PM
Hmmm, is this supposed to be humorous hypothetical situations, or true confessions?



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on May 08, 2003, 01:51:08 AM
I'd have to say 2001 because HAL's voice makes my loins quiver.
Also (I know this isn't a movie) any episode of Doctor Who with Leela, because, goddamn dude, that leather outfit....

Brother R



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Vermin Boy on May 08, 2003, 06:42:03 AM
The very same. :) I still post there occasionally (I managed to get the gold for Flintstones vs. Jetsons!), but not with anywhere near the regularity I used to.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: AndyC on May 08, 2003, 07:13:41 AM
Well, if you want to talk Dr. Who, I'd say episodes with Peri or Tegan.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: The Burgomaster on May 08, 2003, 10:14:53 AM
I planned to have a good pull or two while watching NUDE ON THE MOON, but the DVD I got from Something Weird Video was blank.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Dunners on May 08, 2003, 02:18:31 PM
any hot chick in a belly dancer costume >:)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Chadzilla on May 08, 2003, 03:06:48 PM
Yeah, right.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Funk, E. on May 08, 2003, 03:14:47 PM
Perhaps it would seem less... ahh... disturbed if we phasedf it thus:

What characters from Sci-Fi, fantasy inspire erotic imaginings for you.

Like, I think Seven of Nine was way fine. Also Commander Ivanova and Xena as well, but I do not in fact do the five knuckle shuffle when I watch these shows.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on May 08, 2003, 04:30:21 PM
I have to assume this thread was a joke, because really, how can you take such a question seriously?  Jeez, lighten up, guys.  It's all in good fun.

Brother R



Title: Re: Wow
Post by: Chadzilla on May 08, 2003, 04:49:13 PM
Stories the Inspire the Five Knuckle Shuffle

that is such the cool anthology title.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: The Burgomaster on May 08, 2003, 05:06:52 PM
The five knuckle shuffle. I like that one. It's much better than:

* Polishing the missile
* Smacking the haddock
* Skinning the pepperoni
* Beating the bishop
* Choking the chicken
* Greasing the axel
* Spanking the monkey
* Paddling the pickle
* Waxing the dolphin

(Let's see, that covers once for each week day, and twice a day on weekends).



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Neon Noodle on May 08, 2003, 09:30:37 PM
The Burgomaster wrote:

> The five knuckle shuffle. I like that one. It's much better
> than:
>
> * Polishing the missile
> * Smacking the haddock
> * Skinning the pepperoni
> * Beating the bishop
> * Choking the chicken
> * Greasing the axel
> * Spanking the monkey
> * Paddling the pickle
> * Waxing the dolphin
>
> (Let's see, that covers once for each week day, and twice a day
> on weekends).
>

You forgot "Roughing up the Suspect"


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Feathertop on May 08, 2003, 10:33:46 PM
If we can slither over from masturbation imagery to erection euphemisms, my all-time FAVORITE is "Elvis is puttin' on weight!"  
GEEZ! There are ninety-kazillion porno sites out there and we're discussing this stuff at a Bad Movie Site?  Maybe this is really PENTHOUSE PHORUM? ("I'm a Bad Movie Lover from a small Midwestern Town...")


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Ash on May 09, 2003, 12:09:11 AM
You guys forgot "Rosy Palm & her 5 Sisters!"

C'mon guys!  I figures you'd all come up with more masturbatory jokes than what you already have!

HAHA!!



Post Edited (05-11-03 00:55)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 09, 2003, 01:37:37 AM
>Well, if you want to talk Dr. Who, I'd say episodes with Peri or Tegan.

I always preferred Sarah Jane & Nyssa.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Creepozoid on May 09, 2003, 09:41:13 AM
Rapings from GALAXY OF TERROR, HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP, INSEMINOID, and BREEDERS are my favorites.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Creepozoid on May 09, 2003, 09:48:25 AM
> (Let's see, that covers once for each week day, and twice a day
> on weekends).

Hey, look. Someone who goes at it with his imaginary lover more than me.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Bernie on May 09, 2003, 12:04:06 PM
THE LOST EMPIRE.  Boobies galore.  (If that's your thing.)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Funk, E. on May 09, 2003, 02:53:36 PM
Playin' the one armed bandit
Knocken wood
and one for the ladies: rubbing one out


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: The Burgomaster on May 09, 2003, 04:19:01 PM
Funk, E. wrote:

> Playin' the one armed bandit
> Knocken wood
> and one for the ladies: rubbing one out

I feel so foolish. I always thought "rubbing one out" was something that gangsters said when they were talking about killing somebody.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Funk, E. on May 09, 2003, 04:48:10 PM
Don't feel foolish, rubbing SOMEBODY out is in fact a euphamism for assassination.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Creepozoid on May 09, 2003, 10:29:38 PM
Funk, E. wrote:

> Don't feel foolish, rubbing SOMEBODY out is in fact a euphamism
> for assassination.

Words always take on different meanings when your chap is involved. For example, usually "discharge" is considered a bad thing but...


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 10, 2003, 12:08:09 AM
>Words always take on different meanings when your chap is involved. For
>example, usually "discharge" is considered a bad thing but...

Well, depending on where/when it happens, it can still be a bad thing...


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: AndyC on May 10, 2003, 07:49:27 AM
Pulling the taffy, slamming the hammer, flogging the dog, whacking the tack, pounding the pudding, bopping the baloney.

An activity I haven't had much interest in for a while. Here's a question - how old were you when you figured out everybody else was doing it too? I mean certain enough to discuss it.

Steering back to the original question, how about Star Trek: The Motionless Picture? There's just something about a bald woman.  :)



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Squishy on May 10, 2003, 08:25:32 AM
Gentlemen (and Ladies), I present to you: The Random
Masturbation Synonym Generator (http://www.worldwidewank.com/generator.html). Fap away.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Squishy on May 10, 2003, 08:26:58 AM
http://www.worldwidewank.com/generator.html

Stupid URL wouldn't post. Probably went blind from too much spankery.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: the Christian Faaaar right on May 10, 2003, 10:46:55 AM
Pound the pulpit
Pop the Pope
...I know a whole bunch more in this line of thought, but just can't remember them right now. If I remember them, I'll post again later.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Paquita on May 10, 2003, 11:38:21 PM
This is the best question ever asked!  I take it very seriously I don't see why this must be a joke!

Legend for Darkness and Return of the Living Dead for Suicide.

love colleen


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 11, 2003, 03:26:33 AM
>Here's a question - how old were you when you figured out everybody else was
>doing it too?

Other people do this???

>I mean certain enough to discuss it.

Yeah there's a hot topic of conversation with my friends... "So Fred, when you jerk off, do you use your right hand or your left? Do you use lube? I kind of like a little friction myself..."


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: AndyC on May 11, 2003, 07:48:58 AM
OK, not discuss. Perhaps admit.

Where I live, 15 years ago, give or take, youths my age were not so aware this was normal. Everybody did it, and just about everybody denied it. I think kids today are a bit more aware when it comes to such things. Not that big a deal.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Steve B on May 11, 2003, 02:31:53 PM
LOL...That's a dance I'm gonna have to teach my girlfriend ;-)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: BoyScoutKevin on May 11, 2003, 03:12:17 PM
In case anybody is serious, just look at my moniker, and that ought to give everybody some idea of my favorite film and scenes from that film.

Otherwise, wouldn't you know it, this is the subject that would get the most responses. As these replies are leaving me ROTFL, and I haven't had a good laught in some time, can everybody keep it up?


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Laser on May 11, 2003, 03:45:49 PM
ROOOFLLLL!!!! ALICE IN WONDERLAND!!?? HAHAHA! I hope you don't mean the cartoon version! HAHA



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Chadzilla on May 12, 2003, 07:48:10 PM
BoyScoutKevin wrote:

>, can everybody
> keep it up?

Well I certainly can,  but I don't know about our female posters.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Chadzilla on May 12, 2003, 07:50:24 PM
I'll second a vote for Sarah Jane.  Oh my Lawd!



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Johnny Blister on May 12, 2003, 07:52:28 PM
I mean the cartoon version and the Hallmark version.

But especially the cartoon version.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on May 12, 2003, 07:56:46 PM
Can we keep it up?  That's a bad joke, right?  If you meant it that way, I shall shake your hand (if it's not busy).

Brother R



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Creepozoid on May 12, 2003, 10:24:40 PM
Chadzilla wrote:

> BoyScoutKevin wrote:
>
> >, can everybody
> > keep it up?

A terrible joke, indeed.

> Well I certainly can,  but I don't know about our female
> posters.

You mean chicks actually post here!?!?


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Creepozoid on May 12, 2003, 10:27:15 PM
JohnL wrote:

> >Here's a question - how old were you when you figured out
> everybody else was
> >doing it too?
>
> Other people do this???
>
Guess you're about 12 years old, huh?

> >I mean certain enough to discuss it.
>
> Yeah there's a hot topic of conversation with my friends... "So
> Fred, when you jerk off, do you use your right hand or your
> left? Do you use lube? I kind of like a little friction
> myself..."

Good old righty is experienced cuz of  his practice with pens and pencils, but ocassionally my little man runs away to the left to have an affair.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Squishy on May 13, 2003, 01:07:32 AM
I;m beginning to understand what part of Johnny is Blistered. ;) Some might be devestated to learn how much Disney "hentai" is out there. Brrr.

Comment I Found Somewhere In The Assorted B-Movies Blogs, Forgot About, Remembered, Couldn't Find, Then Looked Up On Google (and edited & censored here by me, so sue me, you know the words):

"Am I Normal?"
A sex education film. I've checked this on IMDB and I didn't just dream it. The lead character is going through puberty and comes out with lines like "guys, I just had a h***-on in the hall. I just wanna know...am I normal?" And when worried about the size of his penis, he goes to ask a zookeeper, prompting the response: "Well, son, you picked the right guy to ask, because on this job, I see a LOT of penises. Animal penises, that is." Am I normal? No, you're going up to zookeepers and asking them about your c**k."

Oh man, it's like that flashback on "The Simpsons" in which a panicking young Homer first learns about sex: "Mr. Zookeeper! Mr. Zookeeper! Those two monkeys are killing each other!!! (Zookeeper whispers into his ear for a moment) ...Ohhhhh."

Personally, I never saw this film in school, but I hope it helped someone--because even at my age, I still crack the occasional wood in the hall. At work. Am I normal?

"Having a hard time with male potentcy? Well I don't, and I'm Bob Dole! What's wrong with you? Christ, I'm Bob Dole and I can get it up!"
--"South Park"  

http://www.worldwidewank.com/generator.html (http://www.worldwidewank.com/generator.html)

_______________________________________

"War Is The Tool Of The Sexist Death Merchants"
--the new Richard Perle seminar


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Laser on May 13, 2003, 08:30:06 AM
Well, I can't think of any else movie than Innocent Blood about a hot vampyres, it's a really hot sex scene somewhere near the end, you really get to see much action...



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Johnny Blister on May 13, 2003, 12:54:33 PM
By the way,I choosed this name because I had a blister in my TONGUE.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: BoyScoutKevin on May 13, 2003, 01:50:56 PM
Ah! But the terrible jokes are the best jokes. That's why I'm so fond of the pun. And don't get me started on that.
Squishy, how fortunate you are that you didn't have to watch that sex ed film, while in school. I had to watch it, when I had sex ed. Hopefully, sex ed films have improved since my day, which is longer, then I care to admit.
Enjoy this thread.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 14, 2003, 05:14:50 AM
>OK, not discuss. Perhaps admit.

When I was younger, accusing someone of jerking off was a huge insult. Never figured out why...

>I mean the cartoon version and the Hallmark version.

Try the X-rated version. It was posted just a few days ago in alt.binaries.multimedia.nude.celebrities.

>"Am I Normal?"
>A sex education film.

Never saw that, but in one class they showed up a film about VD and it had Dom Deluise playing one of the diseases inside a fake cave that was supposed to represent the girl's insides. I can't find any mention of it on the net, but I'm sure it was him.

>it's like that flashback on "The Simpsons" in which a panicking young Homer
>first learns about sex:

I've always liked the Picket Fences episode where one of the sons was having dreams about Lauren Holly and he told his parents that he thought his penis was sick. I kept expecting him to say "It threw up".


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: spikesangel on May 15, 2003, 01:19:31 PM
hmm, erotic fantasy...

okay, being a girl who likes sci-fi i am at a loss to name a movie that revs me up.
yeah...even movies with boobies in 'em.  i just peek down the front of my shirt and go "oh there!  i can even touch them!"



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Johnny Blister on May 15, 2003, 02:06:20 PM
Shoo,girl.This is a MAN´s thread.


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Creepozoid on May 15, 2003, 03:00:29 PM
No wait. Maybe she can give us lonely, desperate guys some tips.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on May 15, 2003, 04:13:11 PM
Or at least another fantasy to think about....
Ooooh, I feel icky now.

Brother R



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 18, 2003, 06:46:15 PM
>torture! torture! it pleases me!

Try Bloodsucking Freaks, that has quite a bit of torture in it. :)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: spikesangel on May 20, 2003, 04:18:17 AM
omigosh.
i have seen that.
my best friends and i had a weekly "Bad Movie Night" and that was one of our films.

*sighs*
oh Ralphus, wherefore art thou?
and c'mon now, that guillotine girl...screaming from a spanking?
where's her sense of adventure?  when i get a spanking....uhh..i've said too much.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: SkullNinja on May 20, 2003, 06:12:12 PM
I'd have to toss in a Dr. Who vote for both Romana's (and with the wonders of time travel, it can happen). heh


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 21, 2003, 12:22:04 AM
>when i get a spanking....uhh..i've said too much.

Not nearly enough in my opinion... :)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Funk, E. on May 21, 2003, 11:40:37 AM
Let's do the Masochism Tango...


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Rob Phillips on May 21, 2003, 06:25:14 PM
Can I choose Alice (from the game)? I hear Romero's going to do a movie based on it! You know, Alice in Wonderland, but due to mental illness this time Alice returns with a butcher knife?

If not I'll choose anything involving Jane Seymour, peanut butter, and with the possible addition of Diana Rigg (the 28 year old version of Emma Peal from 1965, not the 68 [67?] year old version in 2003)! Not sure what I'd do with'em (probably nothing since my wife said Bobbit got off easy [I don't even want to guess what she meant]), but alas it's still a nice sticky thought! And of course the peanut butter would be cruchy, for her (their?) pleasure!

LOL


Rob



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Johnny Blister on May 21, 2003, 07:11:35 PM
I

am going to do a movie based onAmerican McGee´s"Alice".Not George Romero,not Wes Craven,I,me,myself,yours truly,me and no one else!

You got it,sucka?


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Neville on May 22, 2003, 05:43:29 AM
Did anybody mention Diana Rigg? And in the "Erotic Fantasy" topic! You guys are reading my mind! I watched ALL "The Avengers" episodes because of her. I kept watching the series even when she was gone. The funny thing is that I would have watched the whole thing even if it had been bad just because of her. That the series was good was kinda cherry on top. I also remember watching when I was a teen some "Captain Planet and the planeteers" because of Linka, but even I couldn't watch that.

A more recent one is Chiana from "Farscape". She's hotter than Aeryn Sun if you ask me, and much less reluctant to shag every male on sight.

Am I normal? LOL!



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy (whhops, silly me)
Post by: Rob Phillips on May 22, 2003, 10:45:04 AM
I suppose we both stand corrected, on rereading my source . . . Wes Craven is doing "Alice", not you or Romero . . . Sorry!

I understand that Romero has been asked to do a spatter version of "The Wizard of Oz" as a sort of Take Off from Alice.

I bet yours would be cool though!

Rob


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy (whhops, silly me)
Post by: Johnny Blister on May 22, 2003, 10:58:03 AM
Wes Craven backed away from that project,b***h!


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy (whhops, silly me)
Post by: Rob Phillips on May 22, 2003, 11:01:41 AM
Johnny Blister wrote:

> Wes Craven backed away from that project,b***h!

Now, Now Johnny, I was b***h last week this type it's your turn!

Cool . . .so maybe Romero's back in the running, unless you can get funding!

:-)

Rob


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Ash on May 24, 2003, 01:49:22 AM
I thought we were all gonna keep this one going!

It fell back a page!

I can't think of anything offhand....just wanted to see how far we could all push this thread!

Besides....this post of mine'll put it back at the top again!

Anyone???



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: spikesangel on May 24, 2003, 02:18:04 AM
okay JohnL, what all do ya wanna know?
cause i'm just full of secrets like a naughty pinata.
use that stick the right way and *POP* it all comes right out.

ahem...
about erotic fantasies...hmm...

lemme see here.
"Pitch Black" is my erotic fantasy movie.
there was the hot chick with the guilty conscience.
the hot chick with the accent.
the cute bad guy.
and VIN DIESEL!
yummm....



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on May 24, 2003, 02:19:45 AM
Hm...a few things.  The scene in Species 2 where Evil Guy (forgot his name) is boinking the two women in the hotel would be really sexy if it weren't for the "whoof!  auugh!  oooaauufff!" noises he makes.  Barf.
Second, this is, I think, the longest running thread I've seen here.  Considering the subject matter, that rules.  
Third, it is almost comically stereotypical that a bunch of b-movie geeks (take no offense, I wear the geek badge with pride myself) are talking about masturbating to the movies they love.  Also that there was a discussion (started by me, yay!) about who the hottest Doctor Who companion is.  Did anyone else contemplate the goofiness of that, or was it just me?

Brother R



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 24, 2003, 09:44:02 PM
>okay JohnL, what all do ya wanna know?

I wanna hear more about your spankings of course! :)



Post Edited (05-24-03 21:46)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: spikesangel on May 24, 2003, 09:53:05 PM
err...
well...
i guess i deserve this for all that baiting.
yeah, i deserve this.

oh boy.

Brother R, about this thread, i think this thread rocks.  hell, i mean, half of a good bad movie is the skin, right?  at least that is the case in Russ Meyer films.

now, back to spankings...

uhm...oh geez.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 24, 2003, 11:15:20 PM
>now, back to spankings...
>
>uhm...oh geez.

Tease!


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: spikesangel on May 27, 2003, 01:33:15 AM
hahah!
you know, JohnL, i walk a fine line between normal girl and total freak.



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 29, 2003, 09:39:28 PM
>you know, JohnL, i walk a fine line between normal girl and total freak.

Sounds interesting! Let's hear more about your freaky side. :)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: Brother Ragnarok on May 29, 2003, 11:44:53 PM
Hear?  heh heh.  Let's see some PICTURES of your freaky side.  Oh dear, I do believe I may have crossed a line...

Brother R



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: spikesangel on May 30, 2003, 02:00:04 AM
lmao!
wow, when i get my webcam, it's on



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 30, 2003, 02:26:42 AM
>wow, when i get my webcam, it's on

Cool! ;)


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: spikesangel on May 30, 2003, 02:32:54 AM
lmao!
i actually HAVE a photo somewhere...not what one would expect but...
it's from the Fantasy and Fetish Halloween Ball, and there were some definite Sci-Fi kinda people there.

http://www.shutupanddance.com/sinfest/chicks/PA.htm

now that i think of it, this should suffice instead of the webcam!

it's all you, JohnL



Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: JohnL on May 30, 2003, 04:41:13 PM
>i actually HAVE a photo somewhere...not what one would expect but...

Copout!


Title: Re: Erotic fantasy
Post by: spikesangel on May 30, 2003, 04:45:25 PM
hahah!