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Red Planet = movie without a script

however thought up this pile of monkey crap has no IDEA

here's the story in which i wasted $7.50 australian to rent out

 - team of experts head to mars to work out why algae has died

- they crash land on mars

- the old poof from pricilla queen of the desert dies after they crash from a ruptured spleen, (it was a real quick diagnosis)

- they head out to find settlement

- on the way they work out that their robot has turned on its military role

- arrive at settlement, its destroyed

- a crew member pushes cocky crew member off a cliff (he can't be trusted, real heavy stuff here people)

- running out of oxygen, they realise they can breath without having helmets on

- plans change, they must head to a russian robot lander which can lift them off Mars so they can hook up with the mother ship

- only 2 out of 3 can fit into russian lander

- the person who couldn't be trusted does a Perl Harbor job on fellow crew members and is predictably devoured by the miltary mode robot

- after weathering an ice storm our favourite hero's (well val kilmer is a terrible actor, while the other dude, is a great world war 2 actor private ryan and pearl harbor) head out to find russian lander...

- due to a prior injury, our WW2 hero can't go on, plus with the annoying fluro insects that eat people, he becomes deceased and lets off an explosion which destroys the remaining algae...(this movie is firing up now people)

- our hero, val kilmer finally makes it too the russian lander, but om giddy aunt it doesn't have enough power to lift off, so what does mt batman do now, he decides to take his fustrations out on the pyscho robot, grab its power supply and liftt off (how convenient that pyscho robot power cells fit into 30 year old russian robot landers???)

- blast off, and the babe out of matrix spots him in the void of space, she goes to his rescue and saves they day..(if only space was so kind)

Conclusion: This movie is a piece of @!#$, and I wouldn't p**s on it if it was on fire!

Conclusion Part B: I thought the Mars movie with Tim Robbins was bad enough, but this piece of crap takes the cake...

Dan
nbahoops55@yahoo.com

Truly a foul piece of cinematic excressence.  But we do get a brief glimpse of Carrie-Anne Moss's tits and that was worth the price of admission (matinee and just barely).  Can you believe it cost $90 million USD to make?  Some catering company out there is getting rich or something.

Yes.  It's all true.  And it was still more entertaining than Mission to Mars -- because like Robinson Crusoe on Mars, Red didn't insult the audience's intellegence by taking itself too seriously nor try to pass itself off as a profound work of cinema.

Besides, the robot on loan from the Corps could kick some major arse.

regards,

Apostic

I rather enjoyed this film. :). Out of all the films made in the past 20 years this film will survive and it will be thought of as a rare gem of obscure films (since nobody seems to like RED PLANET). The CGI creatures at the end kind of turned me off, but even that wasn't that bad. Hang on to your copy of RED PLANET and your STARSHIP TROOPERS  and play them again in about 25 years. Maybe you'll find a new appreciation for them when you compare films.

Appreciation over time --
Ooooh -- Now THAT'S a topic!!

Red Planet = Good idea for a movie, but horrible editing

haha, red planet had no storyline, a piece of cardboard is more interesting than that 90 million box office flop! star ship troopers and red planet do not belong in the same catagory, while starship troopers belongs in the alltime keep section, red planet belongs in the dodgy, dust riddled 7 day weekly section of any seady video store