Badmovies.org Forum

Personally I would love to do The Car all over again.  I'd amp up the supernatural aspects the way Shyrack and Butler did in their novelization of their script and make The Car look more like an evil force pretending to be a car (CGI would work good in that department).  Of course those Joe R. Lansdale fans out there would be saying I ripped off ideas from his book Batman: Captured by the Engines, and they would be right.  Hey it's my fantasy, let me have it!

Of course I'd get Jerry Goldsmith to do the score.  The man rocks!

Now what would you do?

Plan 9 -- no doubt.
In one of the DC comics series for adults -- Dark Horse(?) --
some of their artists did a comic version of the film straight, as if it were actually good & serious -- and, by damn, it worked very well.
David Lynch to direct.

D.C.'s 'adult' line is Vertigo, a serious retelling of Plan 9 seems right up their alley.  I think the bones of Wood's story are actually quite good (all the paranoia, distrust of the military - sorry Andrew -, pessimism - keep building bigger and better bombs and you'll end it all, shades of Rocket from Manhattan there - and, of course, the zombies).  I think you could make a hip, scary, and funny (if you DID NOT PLAY IT FOR LAUGHS) movie.  Think War of the Worlds meets Day of the Dead.  Mmmmm.

I think peter johnson was referring to an old independent comic from the eighties entitled "Plan 9 From Outer Space" in which it was posited that the actor who was hired to imitate Bela Lugosi was insanely angry that he was robbed of the fame(!) that he would have gotten if credited.  I think it was released when Eternity was still a valid publisher.  They also did "The Trouble With Girls" another low-key adult humor comic.

Well, I'm not enough of a referance source to defer to, ever, but I do recall that there was no subtext at all in the version I recall.  Damn, I wish I saved it.
No, this comic was simply a straight retelling of the film itself, only as if there was no "camp" or humour involved, intentional or otherwise.
Oh, swearword!  This only goes to show that you simpy need to save everything ever printed in order to make a point of things remembered. . .

Back when I was coming up with ideas for spoof movie trailers in college--a project that never got off the ground ("Night of the Living Bread," "The Muppet Murders," the "Jaws/Grizzly" ripoff "Groundhog Day," "Crappin' 2: Electric DooDooDoo," and "George Orwell and Arthur Hailey's Airport 1984," just to name the better ones)--one turned out to be a little prophetic; Francis Ford Coppola had just released a restored version of "Napoleon," so I came up with his next grand project: "Francis Ford Coppola's Plan IX From Outerspace."

Instead of creating an artsy remake of a B-movie, however, FFC would later tack his name onto B-grade remakes of horror classics.

Anyway, I would've loved, at one point, seeing a version of "The Swarm" that kept close to the original novel, and didn't suck. Transplant the Jerry Goldsmith score, of course.
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No Smint, no smut.

I think that a remake of the Audie Murphy bio "To Hell and Back" could work if done right.  Even though Audie was in the origional, his book is far darker than the movie and he is a far more complex character than they let him be.  The movie came off like "Opie goes to war" or something.   Also the story line only remotley followed what actually happened to him.

With modern FX(remember the explosions superimposed over the tanks), better costuming(especially for the Krauts), and a decent budget for good actors it would be possible to pull it off.  I thin kand ideal Auddie Murphy would have been Gary Sinise about the time he was doing "Of Mice and Men".  Current actor wise(Gary is still young, but he aint going to pull of a 17 year old) I ownder if that kid who played in Crazy in Alabama, American Gothic(TV show), and The War would work.

BradLaGrange

I think that a remake of the Audie Murphy bio "To Hell and Back" could work if done right.  Even though Audie was in the origional, his book is far darker than the movie and he is a far more complex character than they let him be.  The movie came off like "Opie goes to war" or something.   Also the story line only remotley followed what actually happened to him.

With modern FX(remember the explosions superimposed over the tanks), better costuming(especially for the Krauts), and a decent budget for good actors it would be possible to pull it off.  I thin kand ideal Auddie Murphy would have been Gary Sinise about the time he was doing "Of Mice and Men".  Current actor wise(Gary is still young, but he aint going to pull of a 17 year old) I ownder if that kid who played in Crazy in Alabama, American Gothic(TV show), and The War would work.

BradLaGrange

I'm with ya',Ringneck. Audie diden't came across as he did in the book. War heros are by nature complex as the mad enviroment they inhabit. The true horror of what modern wepons do to people rearly gets the Pvt. Ryan treatment in a serious manner. When Murphy used the 50. Cal on the tank to stop some germans, they never showed what a 1 ounce bullet moveing at nearly 3000 feet per second will do to a man. The movie To hell and Back just coulden't avoid sanitising the facts. anyway.......Besides this flick, i'd like to see Gorgo remade. And make it clear it takes place in the Godzilla universe. I'd like to see a Kaiju film that shows the day to day life in a world where these things are always looming over the potential horizon. And brother, can Gorgo loom! Background newscasts about monsters in other countries, the economic effects on international trade because shipping sceduals have to be changer to avoid Godzilla and such. Now that could be an original story! Gorgo it is, then. And yes, lets see "O'Kenny" get stomptokyoed! .........."He looks like a chimp thats dressed up"--- Mike Nelson.

Could someone please do justice to Richard Matheson's great novel "I Am Legend". Vincent Price's filmed version "Last Man On Earth" was poor, but Charlton Heston's "Omega Man" was even worse - an opportunity that was totally wasted.

I want to see CGI bunnies with razor-sharp teeth and pronounced claws (just like a raptor) slaughtering people left and right.  Can't you just seem them slavering and advancing on a bunch of doomed people right now?

Andrew

...and then, out of nowhere, a giant wolf appears, and inadvertantly saves the day by snatching up and eating the bunnies! As the bunnies scream and John Williams' score swells, the humans pile into a jeep and race off to the heliport. Meanwhile, the wolf lifts his enormous leg and...

(Be careful what you wish for, Steve. Schwartznegger's been rumored to be eyeing "I Am Legend" for a while. Fortunately, he's always being rumored to be eyeing a LOT of things all at once, most of which never get made.)

Ohmigod! - I take it all back - please nooooo!

Ick.  Anything, but anything, except Arnold as that title character.  Who though?  It shouldn't have to be an older actor; just one who seems (or can look) thoughtful.

Maybe Rupert Everett?  He is not without promise.

Andrew

Flange---  Yeah, they pretty well did sensitize Auddie's story, which is ashamed because like SPR showed you can have a war movie which shows war as brutal but without the Fonda like condemnation of it as 100% evil.   I often wondered if they just adapted an existing script to fit the theme of the book, then used Auddie's money trouble to get him to take it.  Look how well Red Badge of Courage did in that direction, only sensitized because of lack of FX.   I like THAB, but see it more as Ft. Apache killfest rather than a serious war movie.  

That is a VERY interesting plot for the Gorgo thing(not just because gorgo is underappreciated).  I often wondered how things in the Godzilla/Monster Island universe went from day to day.  Imagine the sheer madness as everybody in San Franciscotried to flee because a big rubber suit was spotted off the coast by a Navy sub?  Imagine the horror as those who live around San Francisco try to flee when they realize those from inside the city are heading their way.  Imagine the Horror of those from SF when they realized they had made a wrong turn and were now un-armed in Oakland...............

BradLaGrange

If they had stuck close to Herzog's narrative they might have had another Jawsesque megahit on their hands.  Instead the laid one of the the most beloved cinematice turkey farts ever to stink bomb a theater.

Jerry Goldsmith's score is excellent though.  Then again, everything he does is fairly above caliber.

You know, that could work.  Think about all the controversy about cloning and Frankenfoods.  Yeah, that would make it topical.  Thank god Deep Blue Sea wasn't a megahit or it could happen a lot easier.

Still could.

What's Up Doc?

Ah-nold acting, Ridley Scott directing.  I am SO glad that particular project flopped.

Now if Tim Burton did it...

It is too late! The cat is out of...no, the rabbit is out of the hat! Yeah, that works better, hatt-baby.

I got a little curious and looked around: have you seen the poster art displayed at the IMDb? Oh ye Gods. How many toes does terror twinkle? How many nostrils does a nightmare nibble? How many buttholes does horror have?

I was also taken aback by the surprising number of websites proposing remakes of NOTL. Well, two at a glance, but that's still a surprising number...given the subject. One proposal suggested that the bunnies remain normal size, but become even more eager to reproduce, and starving bunnies and starving humans go at each other en masse. That's...pretty gross.

Ahhh!! I hate having to work I hate having to work I hate having to work
because I miss all the great posts!!

OH YESSSS!!! PLEASE!!  A modern remake of Night of the Lepus with all the modern special effects that modernity can provide.  
Oh, the munching . . . the munching . . .
This is too good to not be done.
Start annoying your local film studio today -- here they come . . . .

How about multiplying the number of killer-rabbits from the killer-rabbit scene in "Monty Python And The Holy Grail"? It flies through the air with the greatest of ease, decapitating medieval England's finest. It is also capable of making the ultra-brave Sir Robin wet himself with fear.

Man, thats one sick idea. I like it! But, who would we get to star? Who would take Dee Kellys place? John Cleese?  Or Stu Whitmans? I think its a star problim. And the rabbits, george. Tell me about the rabbits. Lots of Vishous lil" bastards, or a smaller number of Big bad bunnies? If you could just make the audience see things from the carrots point of view........Oh,my Lord, i'm realy getting into this idea! "Night of the Lepus 2: Revenge of the rodent".  You could give away pet rabbits at the theater, with lil' Human legs (From a Ken doll) on a key chain on the flea collar.......or maby....is it just me, or do some ideas have such a absurdity quotiant, they breed like rabb....gerbils?

The replacement actors is a problem. I fear Mr. Cleese is too old now to be battling homicidal bunnies who would die rather than let anyone into that cave. The problem was, those knights of old fatally underestimated that white ball of fluff, and paid the ultimate price, we can only hope that a harsh lesson has been learned. Some humans are bound to die in the conflict, so we need cannon-fodder. Think of actors whose body of work you despise, or are too cute to be allowed to live. Brad Pitt. Leonardo Di whatever. John Revolta.Tom Cruise ad. nauseum. I think it should be millions of little vicious bunnies, hidden in that enormous "Trojan Rabbit" that everyone forgot to climb inside. they could lurk there, just waiting for the signal......

"Night of the Lepus 2: The Trojan Rabbit." This could work! "Underemployed B-actors nibbled to death by bunnies-Film at 11:00." what is it about this stupid movie? ....."Oh, it was horrible, Larry. When the rabbits went after Leo, they were hissing like geese!" .....I'm sorry...i need to have a little bed rest now....

Sweet dreams Mr. F. Actually, no. Have horrible nightmares about cutesy actors and actresses being torn to shreds by vengeful hoppers, and get the names written down when you wake up. We must also consider what weaponry to use. The surprise element of "The Holy Hand-Grenade Of Antioch" has now gone. The little buggers will have wised up by now.

Hummm. Squishy had a good idea, with the giant wolf. And rideing to the rescue on that wolf is Leslie Neilson! No,no....Neilson does the Stuart Whitman part....rideing the wolf is....Lara Croft!(ya know, wossname),....dressed as Princess Mononoke. and,and,...what? Oh, i know....as the b***hin' Bunnies have the heros surrounded, the wolf howls,and the Dog from "Man's best friend" leads a pack of rottwhilers to the rescue.......ya know....i'm realy trying to keep this sane.....oh, who am i kidding! Leslie Neilson wrestles the Biggest Rabbit in a battle to the death, and Lara Croft(Wossname)....blows away all the rabbits except one fecund female, who hides in the sewers of...what state was that agine, Arizona?...and begins breeding a sequel. There...i did it. I did it, andf i'm proud! Proud, do you hear...BWahahahahaha! Eat my shorts, Dr. Clayton Forrester!

I can see it now.  Two military dudes standing on a hill, one looking through binocs.

Dude with Binocs POV - An undulant mass of hopping fur.

Dude Without Binocs  - "What is it?"

Dude With Binocs (with a completely straight, albeit dazed face) - "There's a heard of killer rabbits heading this way."

You cannot do a remake and NOT use that line.

And here is the poster, gotta have it
http://posters.imdb.com/Covers/06/90/05.jpg

hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

PROOF READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somebody as to do it, come on fans.

I finally have a VHS copy (taped off of Turner South) again and can stop complaining about my old copy coming up MIA.  Just waiting to see if MGM will put it out on DVD soon...

Andrew

I am so hoping for that.  MGM seems to be releasing just about every schlock movie they have on DVD so it seems bound to happen.  I really have the desire to see them jack rabbits running through the train set in slow motion again.

hehehehehehehehehehe

As I've explained here before, I would remake Black Magic.  To me, it IS the seventies.  ANyway, I was at a wedding a year ago talking about bad movies and the guy I was talking to had a friend who was in The Car.  They pull it out all the time when people are over.  This wasn't the greatest post ever, but also I'd remake the Shaw Bros "Black Magic".  I'd put it up there with Kiss meets the phantom in the park, Flesh Gordon, even cheech an chong's next movie as 70's -ness in it's worst/best form