Print Page - Worst movie-going experiences

I'm one of those people who goes to the theater to WATCH THE DAMNED MOVIE. This means that I observe the following rules:

1. I always get there early. I REFUSE to walk into a movie after it has started. I even hate to miss the opening credits. In fact, I hate to miss the coming attractions.

2. I go to the bathroom BEFORE the movie starts. I will not get up in the middle of the movie to go to the men's room.

3. Same with the concession stand. I buy my popcorn & drink BEFORE the movie starts.

4. Once the movie starts, I don't like talking to people, and I don't like people talking to me.

5. I never leave before the movie ends, no matter how bad it is. Never.

Now that I have listed my rules, I will tell you a few of the things that really annoy me . . . some of these things are specific instances, others are general things that happen all the time.

1. When I went to see THE EXORCIST: THE VERSION YOU'VE NEVER SEEN, there was a group of teenaged girls sitting somewhere behind me. One of them had a cell phone that rang about 6 times during the movie. Every time it rang, she answered it and had a conversation for several minutes.

2. One time, this arrogant-looking guy and his girlfriend came in. Just after the movie started, his cell phone rang. He talked for about five minutes. About 20 minutes into the movie, he fell asleep and kept snoring.

3. I hate it when people show up 10 minutes after the movie starts and then walk in front of me to get to their seats.

4. I hate it when people keep getting up and down and walking in front of me to go to the bathroom, the snack bar, etc. SIT ON THE END OF THE DAMNED AISLE IF YOU WANT TO KEEP GETTING OUT!

5. I hate it when there are about 300 empty seats, and a person (or persons) decide that they want to sit beside me or in front of me.

6. I hate people who talk throughout the movie, saying things like: "Who is she?" "What did he say?" "Why did he do that?"

7. I hate it when parents bring little kids and let them make a lot of noise or kick the back of my chair.

What are some of the things that annoy you (specific instances, or just general things that happen frequently).

Thanks for listening. I had to get this off my chest.

My worst movie going experience was at a double-feature of "The Creature From The Black Lagoon" and some other sci-fi b&W flick, both in 3-D. This was when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old

Before the first movie, I got a popcorn. This was my first time ever ordering buttered popcorn and I thought it was great. At the end of first feature, I realized that some of the butter had collected at the bottom, and cooled down. I thought "that stuff out to taste pretty good!" So I tried it...

..I don't really know what to compare it to, but it was the most vile thing I've ever tasted. Probably pretty close to eating warm Crisco. Being pretty much straigh grease, I couldn't wash the taste out of my mouth. It took me days to get the 'flavor' out of my mouth and I remembered it with gagging for years

I agree with all your rules, although I am guilty of talking occasionally. Actually, it's more like whispering and I try to keep it low enough that nobody else hears me.

My worst movie-going experience was my own fault. I went with a friend to see Back to the Future III and at the time, I was a little bit in denial over needing glasses, so I only wore them when I absolutely had to. Of course I walked out of the house without them, so the entire movie was slightly blurry for me.

Post Edited (11-04-03 18:33)

>> always get there early. I REFUSE to walk into a movie after it has started. I even hate to miss the opening credits. In fact, I hate to miss the coming attractions.<<

I used to be the same way until they started putting car, food, showerhead and bluejean commercials in there...not to mention all the socially conscience ads of "be nice to your neighbor"

>>When I went to see THE EXORCIST: THE VERSION YOU'VE NEVER SEEN, there was a group of teenaged girls sitting somewhere behind me. One of them had a cell phone that rang about 6 times during the movie. Every time it rang, she answered it and had a conversation for several minutes.
<<

Were you in my theater? ;-) Some teen girl ran out crying in the middle of it. Another time a phone rang and someone yelled "Get the phone!", as I recall I think it turned out to be the phone in the movie.

My moviegoing experiences are always a fiasco so I never much think about them. I'm the one either dropping my popcorn or my bootlegged waterbottle slips through the drink holder and rolls all the way down to the front or something. I coincidentally viewed a film with the star..heh...and got hit on during "28 days" and sat with a perfect stranger.

I've got numerous stories about parents inappropriately bringing their kids to a movie and them losing their minds during the movie....as well as talkers, a guy who had a bag which he reached into every 5 minutes and pulled out everything from chicken legs to celery sticks. These are things you get used to I guess so no one theater experience really sticks out as the worst...except maybe that time at the drive in when I was 8 and a giant blank ant bit my toe as I was stepping out to go get popcorn, man that sucker HURT ;-)

But seriously, I complain about all the theater rules people should follow constantly, but what can you do. I hardly say a peep anymore after some guys who turned out to be drunk followed me out to my car after I said something to them during the movie about their rowdyness...it's not worth my safety. I guess my biggest complaint is when hollywood rips me off with a really bad movie falsly advertised and i've wasted 3 hours of my life.

Post Edited (11-04-03 18:47)

I've gotten so sick of rude movie-goers that I usually go to the movies only a few times a year...which is why I really get ticked off if I don't like the movie. Most movies aren't worth having to go through all that crap for. Though it is interesting that in some movies people have been almost in awe of what's on the screen, which is the way it was when I saw the very first showing of FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING.

My worst was probably about 10-11 years ago...the nearest movie theater was about 50 miles from our town and our family went...turned out they were having some canned food drive [bring a can of food, get in free] and the theater was packed. We had to see LAST OF THE MOHICANS in the very front row. My neck still hurts whenever I think about it.

It's been my experience that senior citizens are the worst movie-goers.

>>We had to see LAST OF THE MOHICANS in the very front row. My neck still hurts whenever I think about it. <<

Why even make a front row that close. I saw "Forrest gump" front row to the very right and I looked left and up the entire time. I saw "Gladiator" front row at a stadium seated theater and those of you who have really looked at front row know how CLOSE it is to the screen. Let me say that the only thing I remember of the action sequences was alot of blurry movement and some nausia

My worst experience was this past weekend. There was an all night Movie Festival in a local theater in MN on Halloween night. We were there for 12 hours. We got to see, Night of the Living Dead, The Corpse Grinders, The ORIGINAL Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Blood Feast, and (sadly) Planet of the Dinosaurs. However, the last movie was HORRIBLE. If we could make it through the last movie of the night we would get free breakfast cereal! So we decided to do it! The last movie was Rumplestiltskin from 1955. We were all hungary and extremely tired. At one point everyone I was with fell asleep. I had to go to the bathroom but I knew If I got up and tried to leave I would end up waking some people up. So instead, I just sat there so no one else had to suffer. So not only was it a horrible viewing experience.....it was PAINFULL too! But.....DAMMIT, I was one out of like 15 to survive the night and get my generic brand cereal!!!!!!!!!!!! I am proud of that!

ZombieFu

Zombie Fu, I don't think I could have done it. You deserve that reward. I'd like to try, but the theater must have a bed and pillow for what I call sleep viewing. Sleep viewing is when you see a whole movie while sleeping.

16 things that I don't like in a theater are:

1. People who show up after a movie has started.
2. Missing the previews to upcoming films.
3. Cell phones going off.
4. Babies crying
5. Someone pushing my chair from behind. (I'll create quite a scene if this happens)
6. Wrapper noise.
7. Theaters that smell like vomit. (from years of poor cleaning)
8. Sticky floors.
9. Moving, talking, or breathing during a film.
10. People who decide to sit in front of myself or family members.
11. Any people in the theater period. (I like an empty theater)
12. Snack prices.
13. Shopping malls instead of Drive-In Theaters.
14. Theaters without balconies.
15. Theaters without stadium seating. (unless theater is empty, I'm spoiled now)
16. Theaters without an IMAX.

When I went to see COLD CREEK MANOR in the theatre, I was hoping for a good presentation. Unfortunately, it had to have been the very worst movie-going experience, and it was more technical than a people-problem.

The print that was screened was in good shape, but the projectionest didn't have the lens in focus and thus resulted in some "camera fog" that made the film overly hazy (one would say this was intentional by the director, but I had a friend who saw the film in another theatre and he told me that the image was sharp and clear). That and the film was not properly matted for it's 1.85:1 ratio. The film was shot in Full Frame 1.33:1, then matted to 1.85:1 by the projectionist. However, only the bottom half was matted. The top portion of the screen wasn't matted and thus resulted in the visibility of some of the built-in sets (one scene had the camera tilt up and you could see a portion of the camera lighting equipment; this was meant to be masked out by the matting). I almost went ballistic and was close to screaming out "Where is the projectionest!" I normally don't pay attention to flaws like this and focus on the entertainment, but when you pay $7.50 to see a film I expect that I get my money's worth.

As for the film, it was alright.

Well you guys Im sure you guys have already read my little story about my viewing of Kill Bill with my parents, but there are a few instances in other movies.One was when I went to see Jeepers Creepers with some friends.A few people behind us were talking through out the movie and even yelling that the charectors in the movie about the stupid things they were doing, that was annoying. Anouther time we went to see House of a 1000 Corpses and there was someone in the movie theater who must have had some kind of respiratory problem because all through ther movie you could hear this loud raspy breathing.I eventually got so p**sed I yelled out during the movie "HOLD YOUR f**kING BREATH".The movie audience burst out laughing from that because they were just as annoyed as I was.
The next one didn't annoy me but certinaly annoyed the other people in the theater, because me and my at the time girlfriend were the cause of it.I don't think I really need to discride what happened, but all I'll say is that it got kinda loud, and like the entier row in front had to move.Eventually we got caught and were thrown out.

wyckednick - excellent spelling; well done, Yours, The Spelling Nazi.

Scott - your Point 9) ... no breathing ... well, that will inevitably lead to an empty cinema for you, as paramedics remove all the asphyxiated patrons.

A memorable experience for moi was going to see "Leviathan"; one chap in the front row was obviously under the influence of Something. He would gasp and exclaim in shock and horror at all the events on-screen, giving his own little commentary. More amusing than annoying, really. And then there was "Mona Lisa", where some immature lads in the audience were shouting out "kinky cow" at Lisa Tyson's bedroom antics. "Shut up!" replied my wife. "F**k off!" they called back. "Shut up," I growled, and to our surprise they did.

My worst movie going experience was also my best and it was going to see 'Identity' with college. Now i have always been a tolerant person and many of the 'rules' listed do not annoy me that much (though i know they should), and all through my movie going life i have been the victim of chair kicking. Anyway this trip was a combined school/college thing where all students got in free. I took my seat with my newly aquired college chums and started to watch the movie. About 20 mins in someone started kicking my chair and this carried on all through. My rage built and i snapped, jumping up in front of peers and tutors alike i roared that if the violator continued i would wait for them outside and 'put their f**king teeth down their throat!' It was then that i saw the kicker was a young schoolgirl of about 13/14 who looked terrified. I got in trouble with college but i felt really proud.

All of the things that Burgomaster mentioned, go for me as well.

I never get up during a film. I don't care if I'm about to p**s myself, I stay put, eyes always on the screen. As for talking in the movie, I've had quite a few bad experiences; especially when watching Cabin Fever in the theater. That night almost turned violent.

One thing that does get kind of aggravating is that my wife is a movie talker. Not wispering, but talking.......

i pretty much agree with most of the rules shown, especially when parents bring their kids to a film that's rated to highly for them, then the kid starts to freak out and cry [happened in the south park movie for one example, which was kinda odd]

i also remember one audience member sitting on the aisle during the matrix threw up when neo had all his cords popping out of his arms and such when he took the pill.

me and my girlfriend might have annoyed some people during 'wrong turn' because we were laughing so hard at how stupid the film was, and the fact that the 'killers' were bloody funny, not bloody scary, though i think alot of the audience were thinking the exact same thing.

i really really hate it though when you get your own personal audio commentary from an idiot. very frustrating, yet at times fairly funny [if it adds to the atmosphere of say a comedy movie where everyone is having fun it's not that bad]

When I saw Back to the Future part 3, there were 3 kids in front of my high school chums and I who would not...stop.....CLAPPING....every 5 minutes or so through the film. I am a pretty tolerant guy, but one of my friends had a tolerance lower than snake pee. He leaned forward and whispered "If you 3 don't stop that f***ing" clapping, I will rip your heads off and s**t down your necks!"

Unfortunately, this only worked for about 15 minutes.

This is probably why I go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show on occasion, because there are no rules and everyone gets to be loud and obnoxious - rather cathartic, one would say...

That's one reason I get to the theater early, just so I get a chance to pick a good seat. Even though it means sitting through a bunch of (^#$%#&* ads. I do have to say that I like the stadium seating, nice big cushy seats with cupholders, not like those crappy little seats we had when I was a kid.

I think Burgo's rules should be posted in every theater, and have ex-football players as ushers. Unless you're a doctor, there is no good reason to have people calling you all the time.

Burgo, you're a man after my own heart. I get annoyed by all the same things.

One other thing that bugs me is when I see a sci-fi picture and have to contend with a trio of university geeks laughing loudly at innapropriate times, to show everyone how ridiculous they thought something was. This happened during Mission to Mars, for example. Sure, it was a piece of crap, but come on.

I also agree with the statement that senior citizens are often terrible moviegoers. Lori and I saw Seabisquit in a theatre with more than its share of white hair. Must have been two or three couples around us, questioning, explaining, discussing everything. It was like watching a movie with my mom. The opening credits could still be running, and a character making his first appearance, and she'll ask "who's that?" How should I know? Watch the movie, it's got to be more fun than hearing it from me anyway.

Any talking in a theatre bugs me, even during the previews. Hell, even during the commercials. My rule is, if the lights are down and something is on the screen, it's time to shut up.

I used to sneak out of work early on Friday afternoon, or skip lunch on Sunday to catch an early showing, when fewer people would be around. Of course, now, my wife likes an evening out at the movies, so I'm kind of stuck.

Now, I just try to cut my arrival as close as possible, without being late. I used to show up half an hour ahead of time, to get the best seat, but found I had no control over who sat around me. Now, I get in there a couple of minutes before the lights go down, head straight for the stairs on the far side, and find the biggest empty space I can.

No one's fault but mine: Some years ago, my not-yet-wife & I were on one of our first dates -- we went into Manhattan to see "Mars Attacks" -- it was an extremely cold night, and as we got out of the subway, I, without thinking, flicked at my eye to remove a tear -- unfortunately the air was so dry that that was all it took to remove my right contact lens also! It went flying into the snow and there was no way to find it. I tried to persevere, but the brain definitely does not like trying to reconcile two differently focussed images and I started to get a massive headache and had to leave in the middle of the movie. Idiot, no?

And yes, she married me anyway.

I agree with most of Brother Burgomaster's rules BUT -- speaking as someone with a bladder the size of a pea (pun intended), toughing it out for some modern-day 3 hour epics is just impossible. I DO try to sit on the aisle whenever possible, however.

I can never bring myself to go to the washroom during a movie, even if I have to.

Normally, I'm a camel. I once spent an entire evening drinking beer and didn't have to pee until I got home. Still, I sometimes get caught by surprise.

Watching Rock Star, I had to pee about halfway through, and so did the two friends there with me. None of us knew about the other two, but we sat there crossing and uncrossing our legs until the credits rolled, at which point we simultaneously bolted for the exit. Afterward, we discovered that we had all been thinking "man, when is this thing going to end."

The worst was seeing The Living Daylights, back in the 80s. It was summer, and I had been guzzling pop all afternoon. I had a couple of glasses of milk with dinner, and when I went to pick up my friend, his mom offered me a lemonade or something. We got to the movie and I bought a big bucket of Coke, and more or less downed it while we were waiting for the movie to start. About 15 minutes in, I really had to go, but I'd be damned if I was going to miss any of the movie. So, I held it for the duration of a typical two-plus-hour Bond adventure. I was in some pretty serious pain by the end, but I made it to the men's room, and spent a few minutes there. Never felt relief like that.

Andy C wrote:

"One other thing that bugs me is when I see a sci-fi picture and have to contend with a trio of university geeks laughing loudly at innapropriate times, to show everyone how ridiculous they thought something was."

EXACTLY! I find that this often happens during movies that have some sort of "lore" to them. Like the STAR WARS series. Geeks who have nothing better to do than become experts in STAR WARS lore will sit there and say stuff like, "Actually, a Jedi Knight would never do something like that . . . " (as if Jedi Knight's really exist). At moments like this, I wish I had a heavy board with a rusty nail in it.

Earlier in this thread, someone mentioned a movie that was out of focus. This reminds me of when I went to see RAT RACE. The movie was in focus, but the picture was out of frame. No one else in the theater seemed to notice it (if they did, they were awfully quiet about it). I thought the projectionist would correct it, but after about 5 minutes, it was still the same. I had to go out into the lobby (one of the RARE occasions when I actually got out of my seat during a movie) and tell an usher to ask the projectionist to get the picture back into frame.

As for avoiding crowds, there is a fairly new theater inside a mall that I go to quite frequently. On Saturdays, they usually start showing movies around 10:30 in the morning. Many times, I have gone to this early show. It is great because there are usually no more than 20 or 25 people in the theater (unless it is a rainy day), plus, the movie is usually over by 12:30 or 1:00, leaving the rest of the day free for me to do other things.

The Burgomaster wrote:

> As for avoiding crowds, there is a fairly new theater inside a
> mall that I go to quite frequently. On Saturdays, they usually
> start showing movies around 10:30 in the morning. Many times,
> I have gone to this early show. It is great because there are
> usually no more than 20 or 25 people in the theater (unless it
> is a rainy day), plus, the movie is usually over by 12:30 or
> 1:00, leaving the rest of the day free for me to do other
> things.

Yep, the early shows are great. Matinees used to be my favourite way to kill a Sunday afternoon. The only problem I'm finding is that since there are now usually two matinees, I have a choice between a show at noon (tough if you go to church) or one at 3 or 4 in the afternoon. This requires me to find some other way to kill the afternoon while waiting for the movie which was originally supposed to kill the afternoon. By the time I get home, the whole day is shot. Used to be great when the average start for a matinee was around 2pm. You actually had time to go out for lunch and make the movie.

Oh, on the subject of technical screwups, a couple of years ago, we saw a movie that was playing on two or three screens at a local multiplex. I don't even remember what the movie was. Anyway, a bunch of people bought tickets, went into the theatre and waited....and waited....and waited. Finally, about ten minutes after the movie was supposed to start, the lights were shut off. Not lowered. Shut off abruptly. It was pitch dark. This starts a bit of a murmur going through the small crowd. The lights come back on and this teenager in a uniform comes walking around the corner, apparently to investigate the noise, and gets a look on his face like "holy crap, there are people in here." Turns out, there was not another showing scheduled in that particular theatre, in spite of what the ticket said. We all had to go across the hall and pack ourselves into a fuller theatre where the movie had already started.

Ellie wrote:

> I agree with everyone..I really hate the back of my chair
> getting kicked by the person behind me.

What a lot of people don't seem to understand is that they can be kicking the back of an empty seat, and the vibration will travel to people further down. They can be bothering half the people sitting in the row in front of them and not even know it. That happens to me all the time. I feel the kicking, but the guy doing it is several seats over in the row behind me. Sometimes it's a challenge just to figure out who is doing it.

I explained this one before, long ago: I entered a theatre in a summer evening to watch "Windtalkers". The place was deserted, and poorly mantained (even the clerk looked at me like saying "You sure you want to visit the count's castle tonight?" when I ordered the ticket). To make a long story short, I noticed a rat on the other side of the aisle (I always seat in the nearest seat to it) munching on some popcorn, just before the lights went out. I spent the whole f**king movie regularly checking my feet and expecting to notice eating my shoe.

About bad seats, a friend of mine watched "JFK" on a front seat, and one at the extreme as well. Can't believe he could stand it.

Oh, Burgo, and I agree on every thing you've said. That should be a decalogue in every respectable theatre.

Post Edited (11-06-03 07:08)

I went to see The Wizard (don't ask - I was young and stupid, and I wanted to see the preview of Super Mario 3), and found myself seated just behind the Cleaver family. It was like a bad stereotype of the fifties nuclear family transported into the Park Forest, Illinois Centre Movie Theater. It was horrible. Teh following are a few excerpts from their conversations:

"Gee, Dad, that Power Glove looks neat! Can I have one?"
"Maybe for your birthday, son."
"YEA!!"

"Hey, son, guess what we're going to do after the movie?"
"Gee, I dunno, Dad. What?"
"Come on and guess, son."
"Gee, Dad, I'm stumped..." (ad infinitum. Well, ad 5 minutes, anyway...)
"We're going to go to the ARCADE next door!"
"Really, Dad? That would be neat! You mean it?"
"I sure do, son."
"YEA!!"

The above is not an exaduration, nor am I paraphrasing. It was a helluva long time ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Scarred me for life.

BTW - As you read the above, imagine it being said with a disturbing ammount of enthusiasm.

anytime i've got to turn around and tell somone to shut up or stop kicking my seat is a problem. one it was a group of retarded kids and i felt bad as soon as i turned around.

about the bathroom, caffeine runs right through me so i usually have to hit the can one or two times if it's a three hour movie.

lately i've been getting to movies 5 to ten minutes after starting time because i'm sick of all the current trailers.

i always try to sit where no one is behind me. not too hard since i usually go to matinees or shows before 6.

That's why I hate those giant multiplex theaters, there is one here where the bathroom (the only one in the theater) is at the main entrance. Which means if you gotta go, you have to go down the flight of stadium stairs, out the door, down the LONG LONG hallway, break a left down the long corrodore, then proceed down the long pathway towards the exit doors and then to the bathroom.

By the time you return, even if running, you end up missing everything. I'm a woman and by nature my bladder is smaller, I drink very little of anything but the worst is when I'm really into a 3 hour long movie and I'm literally about to explode..but your at the very end of the movie that you just CANNOT leave and risk returning with the credits rolling. It makes me wonder if there isn't something to those Depends after all.

Once that happened when I went to see "Alive", I refused to go but my two friends got up and couldn't decide which way to walk and ended up smacking heads like two hollow coconuts, then they sat down as the entire back row began to laugh. They eventually went but I kept thinking the movie was almost over, it had that music and feel to it but they kept walking and walking and then there were waterfalls...pure agony!

That was also the same film that during the cannibal scene where they were cutting some meat from the buttocks of one of the dead someone yelled out...

"mmmm! Rumproast!"

Unless it's a very specific screening catering to an audience who are much like myself, for example the midnight screenings of X-Men 2, Spiderman, and the Lord of the Rings films that my local comic shop sponsors, I generally tend to hate everyone who's in the theater with me. The Cell Phone People, the Little Kids, the Guy Who Brings His Blind Sister and Gives A Conversation-Level Play By Play of the Entire Movie (which actually happened during the Mothman Prophecies, so it;'s not like I was missing a good movie, but it's the principle). It extends from movie theaters. I generally tend to want to spill the blood of these morons (blind people excepted, unless they're really irritating blind people) when I run across them in every day life whether they're talking over a movie or not.

Brother R

>>All the theaters I've been to have the bathrooms right outside the theater itself. Even so, you miss some of the movie. I've always though that they should put the bathrooms inside the theaters themselves, up in the back and with the wall that faces into the theater being a two-way mirror, so that you can still the movie from inside the bathroom.<<

John, I used to toy with that idea myself...although I wouldn't want to pee in the dark. I thought of headsets so you can listen to the movie still..but who wants to put those on after they've been in the toilet. I liked the idea of a small restroom just at the entrace of the door around a nook which inside would have the volume (frankly i don't need to see the movie) and it would have to be soundproof. Of course that would pretty much discourage me from EVER wanting to sit in the backrow again if someone had too many beany weanies.

I still think they should have family rooms so parents with restless or screaming kids can go in the soundproof room and watch the movie in there (which would be located at the back of the theater..and yes, in my lifetime overseas I have seen these..marvelous!)

> I still think they should have family rooms so parents with
> restless or screaming kids can go in the soundproof room and
> watch the movie in there (which would be located at the back of
> the theater..and yes, in my lifetime overseas I have seen
> these..marvelous!)

They used to have these in America long ago...

In the Catholic church, my parents used to call them 'cry rooms'. Not sure if that was the normal name, or what they were called in theaters

Two come to mind... and one near miss.

The near miss: Sat down to see LOTR (I'm a big fan of the book and was really looking forward to seeing the movie). Two people come in and sit down in the two seats to either side of the seat in front of me. ON the seat in front of me they set an infant in a car seat (by infant I mean less than 3 months). I was utterly livid as the theater filled up fast and there were no other seats. I expected to have the movie totally ruined. Kid didn't make a peep. Not one sound.

Number two: Geronimo. It was a terrible movie which didn't help. It was also the middle of winter and the heat in the theater was either off or malfunctioning. As I sat shivering watching the movie, I developed a genuine cold. I felt fine when I went in, I was achy, tired, with a sore throat and a runny nose when I left. Possibly the worst three hours (it seemed like it) of my life.

Number one: The Phantom Menace. You broke my heart George Lucas. I hope you die.

The worst movie going experience I've had recently was at THE HULK. I was in Cortez, CO for an archaeological dig (yes, I'm bragging) and there was one movie theater. Unfortunately, it was pretty crappy. The sound and picture were bad, and the deep bass rumblings from FINDING NEMO next door permeated for the entire movie.

I did get a kick out of the people sitting in front of us. The family had one two year old who for the entire movie proclaimed "Gimme a kiss, Mom. Gimme a kiss! Gimme a kiss!" C'mon, lady, kiss the kid already!

When a Juggalo, such as myself, goes into a movie theater, I come expecting 3 little things:

1-Cold soda. (Finding a theater that sells Faygo is hard as f**k, or impossible.)
2-Hot popcorn. (And yeah, I like the artificial butter topping! So what?)
3-A good show. (Horror movies and post-Batman and Robin comic-book movie adaptions kick all ass. But a good comedy with plenty of drug and sex humor's all right wit' da kid.)

Now, here's what p**ses me off in theaters.

1-Those f**kers who throw s**t at the movies. (Someone should throw something at them, like a ninja shuriken.)
2-Some dickhead who lets his cell phone ring and ring and ring during the picture. (Shut the f**king piece of s**t off, before I break it over your nugget!)
3-Having to sit in front of someone who kicks the seat. (I keep expecting to hear the words, "Are we there, yet?)
4-Having to sit behind a lady with a big-ass beehive hairdo or a godawful big hat. (If you tell me that ain't happened to you, you're lying to me.)
5-Some jackass who has to talk during the film. (If I wanted to sit through that s**t, I'd watch Mystery Science Theatre 3000.)
6-Pickpockets. (Trying to steal my money when I ain't even got none, b***h!)
7-Those b***hes who decide to French each other right in front of me. (I can get that s**t in a bar for nothing, while no movie's playing!)
8-Vegetarians who cuss me out for having a hot dog. (f**k THAT!!! I ain't gonna eat one of those tofu-dogs like you want me to, b***h! I ain't about your nazi laws, so go f**k yourselves, and let me eat my f**king hot dog!)
9-Atkins' Diet food. (Just how f**king far is this s**t gonna go?)
10-Hearing Eminem in the background. (f**k that fruity-ass faggot ho! He has no business being in any movies, except, "8-Mile 2: The ICP Shoot Eminem Up.")

If you read this with 98, with my 2 cents, now you leave with a buck.

Peace, y'all. Much clown love,

Crazy the Clown.

If I drink anything, I always have to go right in the middle. They should have urinals on the sides of the theater, and just turn the movie up real loud so you can't hear. Just kidding.

I used to always sit behind someone who'd find humor in whatever the movie was. Like in Schindler's List when they were in the Warsaw gheto and the people hid under the trap door with the rug rigged to slide over it, the guy who slipped and fell on the bloody cobblestones, and the kid who hid in the latrine (Haha, he's standing in poop!). Hopefully he was drunk.

Can you believe this thread hasn't turned racial yet?

There have only been two times I went to the theatre alone, and the first was to see Mr. Saturday Night with Billy Crystal some time ago, and the second was just a few years ago, and for the life of me I CANNOT remember the name of the movie. It was either 8MM or H20, or something along these lines. Some dark and creepy movie that I probably should not have seen alone. It was the last showing, and a movie theatre I used to work at so I got in for free. Well, being a small town theatre on a week day there was only 3 others in there besides myself. There was a couple sitting toward the front. Then alone in the back on the right-hand side was a man. A man that looked, well, not a happy type of person, but dark himself. I sat towards the back on the left-hand side a few rows further than him.

What creeped me out is the feeling that something other than the movie was being watched! I looked back 3 times during the movie over at this man and each time he was staring at me. When I caught him, he did the worst...he didn't look away! I actually feared that he would be waiting for me out in the parking lot. I could hardly pay attention to the movie for my imagination, and this man got the better of me.

Well, after the movie, I waited for the couple to pass and cut in front of them. The man stayed and followed us out. Then I went over to my old manager, and spoke loudly enough to let him know that I was known here. I waited for some time, and then had the manager walk me out.

You can be sure I checked the back seat before getting in the car...lol. But seriously, that was quite disturbing, and sometimes I wonder "what if". Then I wonder what angel was looking after me that night! Or maybe he was just trying to scare me but never intended on doing anything. Who knows? And in many ways, I am glad I don't!

loyal1 wrote:

> Well, after the movie, I waited for the couple to pass and cut
> in front of them. The man stayed and followed us out. Then I
> went over to my old manager, and spoke loudly enough to let him
> know that I was known here. I waited for some time, and then
> had the manager walk me out.

I keep thinking that you're a guy but I now remember that you're a girl.

I read your last post thinking you were a guy the whole time.
A guy having the manager walk him out!
Hehe!

Gee loyal..lol That might have been a totally different experience if the movie was a romantic comedy I guess ;-) That happens to me alot, for some reason a guy always has to sit a row behind and several seats to the side so he has a nice staring panorama.

Here's another pet peeve. I used to go to more daytime shows, where the theater wasn't packed (sometimes there might be 5 people in the theater). Ok there are what...500 seats? And then you have scenario
#1. Single man comes in, sits almost right behind, next to or in front of. Why for the love of god in a huge theater room..why??? Usually this man has purchased a large popcorn, 2 boxes of candy and a giant order of nachos loaded with jalopenos (you know who you are!)
#2. Two women who basically want to chit chat like it was a family reunion decide to sit right behind you. They talk all the way until the opening credits..as if I couldn't possibly want to watch the trailers.

Again - 500 seats, whyyy? I always gather these are people who can't be lonely, they want to surround themselves with people, feel like they're mixing in. Either that or they're psychotic. Inevitably they lack social graces in some way that sets them back 4 million years, so I have to do the "pretend i'm going to pee" routine mid-movie and move.

Badmovies.org Forum

Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: The Burgomaster on November 04, 2003, 06:06:43 PM